If you see any future with this guy, it’s kinda a packaged deal…
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You need to break up if you don’t want anything to do with his child. It’s a package deal.
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that’s fucked up 
If the child has behavioral problems maybe you can help the child work on them. Just a child. I mean if you are in a committed relationship with him it’s kind of messed up that you wouldn’t watch his child/children for him here and there while he’s working.
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Absolutely not! Been there and dealt with that! Some kids, not all, feel like they’re entitled to be treated a certain way…. You absolutely need to hold ur ground!
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You should voice your concerns about his behavior but how are you going anywhere long term when you don’t even want to watch his kid and you say yalls kids don’t get along? You might as well end it now bc they are a package deal.
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so you want him to work and support you and your kids but you can’t watch his. you are the issue. I would evaluate your relationship. if I was your boyfriend I would run from you.
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The child should be treated as equal as you are in relationship with him. If you can’t take care of him, you need to think about your relationship…
However, if the child has special needs or erratic behaviour, for example being physically abusive towards you, drink or smoke heavily if he’s a teenager. Then the situation gets different. As you didn’t specify. It’s quite hard go give an opinion.
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YES… hunny it’s a full package…sit down with him tell him there will be rules and discipline if he’s not ok with it move on
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I don’t understand why you are dating him then. I’m assuming you knew he had a child when you started dating him. What are plans for the future? Do you plan to never let him have his child around you and your children if you are married? How would you feel if he told you he didn’t want your children around?
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How often does he have his child? Does the child live with you or his mom?
I think we need more info.
Age?
Is there a mom?
Do you live together?
Check out some “nacho” parenting boards.
I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with this. Especially if you’re dating and not living together.
If you are living together, that makes things a little more complicated. But the bio parent needs to address the behavioral issues. Does the child have a therapist? Have the issues been properly addressed?
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If you want to be single- go ahead. If not look at this as an opportunity to help said child learn to listen and learn to get along and play well with others. I would try to do it on an occasional basis and let your bf know that you didn’t intend on having another child every day but I would not hurt the child’s feelings and or my bf and tell him I don’t want to help him with his children- ESPECIALLY if you have something serious with him and want a further future with him. You could see it as a test run for if you get married also.
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You aren’t married so I guess not but ummmm lol I don’t even have kids n my first thought was…oh that’s a great chance to try and help guide this kid, maybe show them a new way to interact with your kids. I guess not tho…have fun in your relationshit.
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You should have a talk about child’s behavior but you are infact in the wrong especially for something long term and him working as well how would you feel if he told you this about your kids
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Hell naw you ain’t wrong. His child is NOT your responsibility. Him and his baby momma need to work their daycare issues out. Or maybe he needs to talk to his family. Bottom line is you are not the babysitter. THE END!
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Maybe all the time you’ll have with her you can make it better ? Sometimes they need someone to lead the way? Maybe she doesn’t get the right attention at home? If you’re not willing to make it work with his kid then definitely leave him now because Noone should have to choose between their spouse and their child/children
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You should probably break up with him if you can’t get along with his child. If you haven’t been together long, the child could be acting out because of that.
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Talk to him about why you dont feel comfortable staying with his kid,mention the exact issues and if he insist ,try getting councelling for the kid,usually when kids are like that its mostly because they are spoiled,get him help if you see a future with the daddy
Break up with him or find a way to love/treat his child as your own. If you date someone the goal is to marry & start a life together. He has a child before he met you & I’m sure you knew about it before getting in a relationship with him. Ultimately you’ll be in the child’s life a really long time & if you’re already treating the child as if they’re a problem, it’s going to cause problems in your relationship. Might as well just leave. You cannot treat his child any different than your own when you chose to be a part of that child’s life when if the shoe was on the other foot and he treated your children differently or didn’t want them around or help with them then you’d be out the door the first chance you got.
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People date for the purpose of finding a life partner. How can y’all have a life together if you don’t want to watch his child and your children don’t get along but you don’t want to fix those issues? You might as well break up now, in my opinion, if you aren’t trying to fix these issues. Don’t waste each other’s time, life is too short. Each person should treat the others children as their own and want to be with them as much as possible, forming bonds with the children and between all children involved, fixing whatever issues arise (such as behavior) before the two families become one under one household.
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If you can’t accept his child then leave him now! Children are a pkg deal! What would you say if the roles were reversed and he said he wouldn’t watch your children?
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Where is said child’s mom? You should tell her how you’re feeling. I’m sure she’d assist so you’d never watch her child out of fear you treating the children differently. You referenced HIS child and MY children which means you clearly do not think of this child as your own. You likely treat them very differently and could be the reason why this child is certain way toward you in general. You should kick rocks and let that man find a women that loves him and everyone who comes with!
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So you’re dating someone who’s kid you don’t wanna step up for? Interesting. Move on?
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Yes. Yes you would. Make the child feel welcome and they will be much happier and better responsive to you and your family. Remember, this is a whole new situation for him. If you plan to have a long term relationship with this guy, you need to accept and nurture his child.
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Why are you even with him if you don’t like his kid?
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When you take on a man or woman you also take on what comes with them. If you dont wish to do so then by all means you know where the door is.
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Definitely not wrong, not your child, not your responsibility. Funny how everyone expects you to watch the child but you can’t have the same expectations from that child as your own or put consequences in place for their actions.
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Age of the child? How often do you see her now ?
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Unfortunately they come as a package dear, you’re the adult here and if you can’t find a way as a MOTHER to make it work then leave. Cause that is what you will be to this child should your relationship get anywhere. As a Mother you do your best and never give up on your child’s, you need to put in the work and also a child in a child wether from your womb or not!!!
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Umm yeah thats a jerk move your dating a guy with a kid they are a package deal take this time to set rules boundaries n consequences with said child
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Lol imagine if a man didn’t want to step up for your kids. Imagine how the tables would turn.
You’re 100% in the wrong.
There’s likely a reason that poor child acts out with you, I can imagine he is treated quite differently than “your own” children 
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Yeah you’re in the wrong.
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Dating someone doesn’t make you a built in babysitter for them.
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I really hope he isn’t supporting you and your kids financially while you are at home with your kids all summer and he’s working. Especially since you are basically refusing to watch his child. I’m not even sure why you two are together at this point. If y’all move in together, are you going to tell him his child can’t move in and needs to find some where else to live too…
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For me when I watch other peoples kids they are going to get the same treatment as my own. Disrespect me or other kids you will get disciplined how I see fit. If he doesn’t agree with that then no child can’t stay. But it goes both ways and I will treat them all with love and respect as long as they ain’t being troublesome.
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If y’all live together and he’s supporting you while you stay home with your kids, yes.
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Let him go if you don’t want to accept the child
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So how would you feel if he didnt want your kids around🤷♀️
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Does the child have a disorder possibly? His child is part of what you signed up for, they are a package deal.
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Depends… if y’all in a serious relationship and live together then yeah it’s messed up not to watch his child if he is the one providing for you to stay home with your kids . but if y’all don’t even live together or its too soon then I’d see why you wouldn’t want to do it. You didn’t give much info on the dating situation so people really shouldn’t be bashing… If the roles were reversed would y’all as mothers leave your child/ren with a bf of only a couple months??
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Build the relationship, he’s your kid now too
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Why are you with him if you don’t accept his kid??? God. Imagine this the other way around. Yes YTA!
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Depends on how serious you all are. If you’ve been together a month then that makes sense, but if you’re looking to be long term and start a life with this man then you should watch his kid. They’re a package deal so you need to figure out how to deal with his kid or call it off.
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My only questions are. How would you feel if he said these things about your kids? Are you one of those “my kid isn’t the problem, your kid is” type of parents? Because if so, I hate to break it to ya, your kid probably is the rude one because they know you’ll defend that behavior when it’s them. Also, as everyone else has said. Why are you with him if you don’t want to be alone with his kid? Obviously it won’t last just because of that. You have to be willing to get to know and accept his kid the same you expect him to do with yours.
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I’ve been with my man for 8+ years we both have a child from previous relationships and every day is an up hill battle being the “other” parent on both ends we have learned to respect boundaries and “know our place” on co parenting but at the same time our children don’t get along just like with their other siblings we have lots of talks and have turned the dinner table into a safe space for non judgemental communication with all that being said every week I feel like his son stabs me in the heart at least 3 times during his time at home with us because being with him meant being a part of this little boys life and honestly wouldn’t trade the weekly heart break for anything because I love him as much as I do my bio kids. I think if you can’t handle it walk away before you cause anymore damage. COMMUNICATION goes a long way when it comes to step parenting not just with the kids but with the parents as well and I mean both parents. Take pride in knowing they trust you with their child and treat them the same way you would your own or move along. Also depending on how many kids are involved remember kids tend to pick on the outsider even my kids do it with each other take time to understand how his child must feel and how hard this is for the step child and understand no bodies kids are angels not even your own.
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Are you … WHAT? how do you think you’ll have a future with this man if you can’t accept his child from his previous relationship? Your the step mother that gives the rest the bad name. Probably best to breakup tbh, because that little child deserves to be comfortable in his home with his dad, I can imagine he’d know you don’t like him tbh. So sad.
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If ur living together or if he’s supporting u, yes of course but if ur not I don’t think so
U really don’t have to even give a reason. Boundaries can be hard.
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No, you wouldn’t be in the wrong, but you won’t be able to expect your BF to help with your kids.
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Well if he is your bf that child is part of the packaged deal. He has to accept your kids with you, and you must accept that his are with him. If you were to become more serious or get married where do you think that kid would be? Don’t want the kid around, break off the relationship because the kid will always be part of it.
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If You want your relationship to progress and go further than yes you should watch the kid. If not then I say no lol
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So not a serious relationship then?
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Does the kid usually live with his mum? If so why is he at his dads while he’s at work. That’s not him having “contact” or visiting time with him. If the kids mum and dad are working then No. She should’ve found a babysitter herself, and your man should’ve told her so
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Yikes. Poor child. And poor guy. With someone who expects them to take care of her kids but won’t do the same.
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I you are in a relationship with him accept his child or call it quits
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Break up would be the best thing you could do.
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Girl don’t listen to these folks talking about some leave him & “it’s a package deal. No stepmom or wife should be subjected to disrespect because “he or she is a kid” . You ain’t obligated to watch his kid(s) especially if that child is disrespectful. Dad’s time equals dad’s time, his responsibility not his wife or partner.
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Well yea because when you’re in a relationship with someone you accept there kids too. If the shoe was on the other foot how’d you feel!?
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How old is the kid???tell the bf reason for not wanting to watch him maybe he’s not aware how he acts with u.if ur going to have a relationship to last u must able to discipline the boy…if not take ur ķids and move on…
…
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If you’re going to treat his child like they don’t belong then you need to leave. No child deserves a step parent like this!
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You are not wrong at all. That’s your boyfriend not your husband. We have got to stop preforming wife duties without the title! It’s the child’s parents responsibility to teach him respect. Are you allowed to discipline him? Just because you’re dating someone does not mean everything in their life is your responsibility.
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it is called being honest…??
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I guess it depends how serious you and the bf are. I mean, kids come with the package deal. If you can’t accept his, don’t expect someone to accept yours
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So, this is just my opinion and you know what they say about opinions right? They’re like buttholes to put it bluntly. But I mean if it were me. Even with the circumstances given, I would do my best to have his child over the summer and here’s why
1.) This could be a great opportunity for you to bond with his child and develop a warm relationship with them.
2.) This could be an opportunity to teach the importance of manners, boundaries, and cooperation.
3.) This could help develop a bond between his child and your children.
4.) This could be ground breaking to establish family ties within a blended family.
5.) This could be a great learning opportunity for you in learning about his child and coming up with ways to interact with his child in a positive way.
6.) I would think it would demonstrate how much you care about him and his child.
7.) It could demonstrate to his child that you care about developing a bond and want that.
Whatever you decide is up to you and I don’t think there is necessarily a wrong answer to this question. But I think it really could blossom into a beautiful thing if you give it a chance and really try. I understand there is such a thing as a difficult relationship between parent/step parent and child for many reasons. But maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing. If it doesn’t work out. You could always just not do it again. But I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t do this. This is just my opinion/perspective.
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Ma’am, as a single parent, I would hope no one would have to remind you of the Golden Rule when dating a fellow single parent:
Thou shalt only date a single parent IF you can find a way to love and care for their child just as much as your own, just as thou wouldst hope that thine significant other wouldst doest for the and thine own children that has followed YOU into the relationship and recognize that thine significant other and THEIR child are as much intwined and packaged together as thee and thy own children are yourselves and treatest them as such.
In other words: do NOT date a single parent IF you CANNOT bring yourself to love that child like your own the same way you would both hope and even EXPECT YOUR s/o to do with you and yours.
In other words, either pack your bags and leave if you CANNOT treat that child right and EARN that child’s trust and regard and CANNOT be bothered to put in the effort and stop wasting his time or learn to treat that child the way you want HIM to treat YOUR children and either way, stop being a famned hypocrite on the situation and GROW UP.
Do NOT put an ADULT level burden on the head of ANY child and fixing or improving YOUR relationship with a CHILD is more YOUR responsibility as the adult than the CHILD’S. Do NOT put that on THEIR head and THEIR shoulders.
Period.
Now, if you are not comfortable babysitting that child by yourself until that child adjusts to YOUR home and how things are ran in YOUR home, then please. Ask the other parent or, if any aunties, uncle’s or grandparents live close by, see if any of them or your s/o can spend the first week or two being there to help the child and you and your kids all adjust to each other and help you learn how to navigate that child and better understand them.
But do NOT treat HIS child in a way that would royally piss YOU off if they did that to YOUR child.
Period.
You shouldn’t be with him anymore if that’s how you feel about his child. I guess your children are perfect🙄. How would you feel if he didn’t want to deal with your children. He probably acts up cause you treat him different.
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Depends on how old the child is. And I’d definitely have a conversation with him about it worse case you can do is break up with him. And if you guys don’t work together on how his daughter treats your kids then see if the mother can do it.
No future in this relationship if you don’t like his child
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Yes. You’re in a relationship with him. It makes sense you also watch his kid instead of daycare or sitter if you’ll be home with yours in a shared home, anyway. If you live separately then no.
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If you’re in a relationship then you’ve chosen to take that child on as your own. So you should be willing to help look after him I’m assuming you’ll only be with him for a few hours till his dad comes home from work? .
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Do you live together? If so, then you both accepted that role and responsibility as coparents to each other’s children.
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Give it a try first 
That is time for you to bond teach him respect, be better for him, kids lash out coz they want or need love and attention, instead of pushing him away, draw him closer and show him you care as much about him as his dad… Teach him your ways… He might be a lovely boy you will be amazed… Pushing him away will ruin your relationship with his dad…
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That child is going to be in your life so you have to deal with it sooner rather than later. Treat him or her as you would your own. I’m no longer with my children’s father but I stil keep in contact with his child 15 years later. She was a lil shit too 
but you find middle ground believe it or not.
You should have spoken up one time when he said it. I’m not watching any disrespectful, who don’t listen when I speak child. Speak to him all now so that he can make alternative arrangements.
Maybe “said”child would benefit from time with you? Threat “said” as you would your own. “Said” might need a lot of love and consistent environment??!! You might be good for each other. You love him , you love “said” too. 
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Treat not threat!!! We’re not into that!!!
Your boyfriend and his child come as a package as do you and your children. If you cannot understand that, you have no business being in a relationship.
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Then why be in a relationship with him I hope u don’t plan to marry the guy cause I wouldn’t won’t to marry someone who couldn’t handle all the kids I hope the man gets smart and find someone to except his child poor man
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I had a similar issue, used to watch my step son while his dad was a work but he never listened even told me he doesn’t have to listen to me because I’m not his mum . He hurts my youngest and lies about it and makes up stories that cause alot of drama .
So my bf has been working extra and decided he was going to try work through the weekend that is his weekend with his boy, he didn’t discuss it with me just assumed and then was upset when I said I didn’t want to watch all the kids by myself the whole weekend .
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You guys supposed to be family, don’t matter what kind of child he has.
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Compromise. See if he can have a family member take the kiddo a couple of the days so it’s not all the time
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My partners kids are alot more intense then mine they are quite naughty selfish an bullies but honestly hun if you really want to be with this man you will make room in your home an heart to care for his babies just as much an as loving as your own cause I have learned too every kid is different an raised differently but every kid is still learning an can learn to change all it takes is time, teaching an understanding you should atleast give it a chance but if your really that much against it I think you need to rethink your relationship cause kids are apart of the deal no ifs, or, buts about it
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Yes you are in the wrong. When you are in a relationship and that person has kids they are a package deal…just as you would expect him to do the same for your kids. If you can’t do this then it’s time to move on because there is no sense in dragging out a really hard situation. The Kids Come First On Both Sides So You Need To Be Honest With Him
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He’s a package deal. You don’t get to choose one over the other. Let him go, for Pete’s sake.
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You’re both basically wasting your time in this relationship if that’s how you feel about his kid… your relationship is basically a means to an end.
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I don’t think you’re wrong. I don’t want to keep my husband’s kids either. 
They’re buttholes!
Oh wait those are my kids too. Still don’t wanna keep them all summer. 
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Maybe you can teach his child a few things. Make rules for the child - if bf objects tell him to take of the baby himself and move out.
Have to be honest here, if this relationship is long term and marriage, you will be part of the child’s co parenting team, are you then going to tell him no? Something huge to think about…What are their summer arrangements with the kiddos mom? Think about this as well…discuss in detail with boyfriend (if you decide to watch kiddo) what your role will be regarding discipline. If you both agree and are on the same parenting style page, you could make a big difference in the child’s life by using your parenting style to help him work on his behavior. If you were my daughter and came to me asking for advice, I’d say exactly what I’ve posted above. (tbh it doesn’t sound like this is going to work out, trying to not be pessimistic, but…)
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If the roles were reversed, how would you feel if he told you he didn’t want to watch your children? How else are you going to build a bond with that child except spend time with them? Don’t date someone with children if you’re not prepared to be involved with their life.
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You need to stay away from his child you would be a disaster to be around your boyfriend’s child if you have nothing to offer this child stay the hell away your evil
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What a dog, I bet if the roles were reversed it’ll be a different story
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Honestly,I feel like it depends on if you live with him or not and how long you have been together. Yes they come as a package like others have said, but if you haven’t been together long, then watching his child really isn’t your obligation yet, people are always saying parents shouldn’t leave their children with boyfriends and girlfriends, yet this woman is being judged for not wanting to watch the child. I mean eventually if you plan on having a future with this man, his child is a priority too,… Like I said, it depends on things like how long you have been with him and if you live together.
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Deal breaker! Break-up b4 u cause more harm than good to that child!
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Wow just wow if my boyfriend or husband that had a kid that was mean and hurt my kid wouldn’t listen to me out of control I would tell him sorry it’s too much my kid behaves listens isn’t mean to your kid I don’t care who’s kid it was if you treat my kids bad I sure in the hell ain’t torturing them and myself all summer a friend had a similar case I told her the kid is out of control being mean to your kid using foul language treating you bad tell him no
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You need to break up with your boyfriend. He needs to find someone who will love his child as their own, with flaws and all. When you love someone, you should love their children too, and do what you can to be there for him and his child! What if your child acted up like that?
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Why are you with him if you can’t stand his child? Do that man and child a solid and break it off.
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If you do not like his child you shouldn’t even be w him! Period.
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If they his and your together theyre yours to lady. Get over it and grow a back bone. If he doesn’t listen find out why. Or is it that you cant love a kid that isnt yours and his.
Do him a favor and break up now! He’s your future responsiblitity if you are dating to marry. Kids are different. Show him some love…kid might need it. If you can’t then leave them alone.
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