Would I be the bad guy if I told my sister-in-law that I couldn't watch her kids anymore?

That’s her kids that’s her problem she needs to obviously figure out her shit I can’t stand when people just do that . She needs to Go find childcare it ain’t ur problem girl I see ur frustrations but ur partner needs to step up and put his sister in line . Surely his over it too. How dare she blame u for her situation at work she had those kids .also sounds like u need a break ,I pray you learn to stand up for urself .

How cud anyone expect you to do that with your own kids and one on the way, and expect you to cover the cost of feeding them, seriously you gotta think about you and your unborn baby if your high risk, just be honest and tell her she gotta week to sort childcare out, if she gets funny then she was taking the piss all along…

Girl!! You need to tell her your giving her 2 weeks notice to find another sitter you got your hands full already you need to take it as easy as you can being high risk!!! Think of you and baby​:heart::heart::heart:

Don’t just up and quit. Give a week, two MAX to find a new sitter. There is no need to add the extra stress when you’re not be helped with it at all. It’s okay to think about your family first.

You are being used. If she paid and treated her old sitter the same way she probably will not return. Just tell her you are no longer able and cannot help her any more.

No, she had a few months to look for a babysitter and obviously she hasn’t. I think she’s taking advantage of you and doesn’t obviously care about your health. It’s time to think about your own family. Also I would try to spend time with my own kids before the new baby arrives

Nope. Tell her the charity train is over. She is using you and taking advantage of the situation and she is being ungrateful at best. Id also get your husband to man up to his own sister. The fact that he isn’t saying anything to her is shady too.
Tell her she has 1 week fo find someone else to watch her kids or you wont answer the door or just dont be around when you know she is going to come by. If you aren’t there and she leaves them there call CPS for negligence.

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Tell her you quit and to find someone else and don’t answer your door when she tries to bring them in

No you told her you would help as long as you could and it seems she hasn’t bothered to keep up some of the simple terms you set give her two or three weeks notice and that is giving her a chance.

Put your unborn and yourself first

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She is taking advantage of your kindness , best to tell her you aren’t in a position anymore to watch her kids with the added stress of pregnancy you need to take it easy

Give her a weeks notice so she isnt left hanging. That gives her plenty of time to lobby the rest of the family to help …
You’ve got your plate full . Specially if she isnt bringing food to feed her children and leaving everything on you . Its draining your own pockets and fridge . You need to think of your own … clearly she is and not really giving 2 :poop: about where its putting you financially and physically

I’d tell her no. I know you probably dont want to say it to cause turmoil between you two. But just tell her you need to start getting things ready for the new baby and being high risk, babysitting just cant happen anymore. Or tell your husband to tell her. Either way the answer is no. I would. It’s hard to tell someone no sometimes but once you free yourself from something you just know in your heart you need to say no too, It will FREEEEE you! Good luck! Also prayers for a healthy and happy delivery for baby and mom. :two_hearts:

Sounds like she’s taking advantage of your kind heart

Been here I have 4 boys right now but when I was pregnant with the 4th one I was getting done the same way except it was not any one in my family or my husband’s. U have to put ur foot down your life n the life that ur carrying come first and of course your other babies. So tell her u can’t do it no longer because of ur high risk pregnancy and as well she not paying u to watch them or sending there supply them with their food n u shouldn’t provide for hers. Its okay to help but not use or take advantage of someone.

Gee…shes using you…just tell her. No more. Sorry

I would absolutely NOT be doing it. It sounds like she is majorly taking advantage of you…

Tell her you can’t anymore your family comes first

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I think what you should do is put yourself first. You are only one person and can only do so much especially being pregnant on top of a full time mom. I know it’s hard sometimes to say no when it comes to helping people but honestly it’s just too much. She’s putting you in a really tough spot but if I were you I would just let her know you can no longer help it’s just too much for you.

Absolutely not! There’s no reason to let her run over you!

She is using you and you need to take care of yourself…

Where I come from, that is called being taken advantage of. I get she needs to work but if she isnt paying you, where she putting the money? She should be providing what she agreed to in the first place. She is saying that her kids take priority of your high risk needs. That is manipulation. You can be nice and give her 1 to 2 weeks to find alternative arrangements or you can choose to terminate the business relationship aspect immediately. It depends on how you feel about her. If she wants to cause bad blood, that is on her. Make sure you also document everything i.e. no money, no food, etx. Because this covers your end just in case she starts.
Hope your pregnancy continues more smoothly. :heart:

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give her 2 weeks notice

You have to put your family first and if she is true family she would understand. You can’t let her take advantage of you. $50 a week to watch 2 more kids on top of ur 3, plus ur pregnant sounds extremely stressful. Say something .

To me it sounds like you’re being taken advantage of. Put yourself and your own family first! That’s so much extra unnecessary stress for you… especially while pregnant.

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Either tell her you can’t do it anymore or tell her she will be paying way more at a daycare than the money and food she should be giving you for your kindness. Or she can apply for state daycare help if she qualifies.

No you need to do what is best for you. And yalls agreement has done and been broke when she failed to pay you, or didnt bring the food any more. She is taking advantage of you and your kindness. Just tell her

No way would you be the bad guy! I would tell her immediately. She should understand that you have your hands full, and, soon even more full!! Take care of yourself and the little one.

Of course she’s going to be upset that she’s lost her free daycare. You did help her all you could. She should’ve gotten herself together and figured out what to do by now and if she hasn’t that’s even more reason to STOP. You have done what you can. Don’t for a second think your a bad SIL for stopping. You have your own problems to deal with! You take care of yourself and your family FIRST!! Prayers for the strength to do what you need to do!

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I keep all the kids in our family too. My suv has 3row seating thankfully and my dr had a “daycare” inside where they could stay during appointments. I was high risk also having to go every other week for months and every week the last two months. I kept the kids until day of having contractions and him being born, & then they all came back when he was 1wk old because they could only have a week vacation from their jobs. Our house M-F was 4 under 4 (2 under 1) a 7, 9(every other week) 12(weeks at a time) & 15 but since covid it’s just my kids (1,7&15) and my nieces 6mths & 5. It was definitely crazy during the school year having to load up everyone for school drop off/pick up so this “summer vaca” has been nice​:sweat_smile:I don’t get paid either but sometimes they’ll bring in supper on their way in from work. Once my youngest gets school age I’ll go back to work too but since I’m home anyway, everyone stays here. :hugs:Best of luck to you! The days are long and years short.

Give her like a week notice. And just tell her the truth.

Way passed time to resign!

I am pretty sure things will be fine if u truly communicate what you need to say. Think about your health first and the baby. Because if something happens than there will be more damage to yourself than just stopping childcare for another person.

No, absolutely not, you do what you need to to take care of yourself and your family. That is very selfish and rude of her to expect you to do all that while pregnant, with 3 kids of your own. And what peeves me the most is shes not giving you anything for it, no money. No food to help. She is selfish and needs to figure out a way to work it out without your help. You have been far more kind and selfless than you have to be for your own wellbeing. You’re not a bad person. Do not feel any guilt at some point you’ve got to draw the line. Those are her kids she needs to own up and take responsibility for finding care for them and working.

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A.she needs to be paying
B if. You choose to keep watching them make her bring the food
C its not bad dont overwhelm yourself to much

She is definitely taking advantage of you.

Just because she’s in a bad position doesn’t mean you need to be put in a worse position

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She has lots of options, you’re just the easiest, cheapest one for her.

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She’s taking advantage of you… You need to think about yourself and YOUR children. She is an adult and needs to figure it out. If she had any respect for you, she would have at least paid you or thanked you instead of “You’re putting me at risk of loosing my job”
SHE is putting STRESS on you, your pregnancy, and your unborn child!

Your family comes first

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I would give her a two week notice. Because you have to take care of your family and YOURSELF. That way she has a chance to find another sitter.

Honestly I would stop watching her kids but I would give notice first.

You are not the bad guy for this. Since it’s his sister, have him tell her.

Dude she’s not even paying you. Tell her you can’t do it. Tell a little fib if it makes you feel better :woman_shrugging:t2: her kids are her problem when it comes to child care like that. She’s using you bc you’re letting her

No u would not be a bad person

No. It sounds like shes taking advantage of you. You have your own familiy to worry about and a baby on the way. She would have to find other arrangements

Your husband can tell her if you really cant cope. Personally id help no matter what an wouldn’t expect a penny from her since shes family.

Your health and the baby’s health is the most important. I’ve been in a similar situation. It’s not worth the risk. She will understand your situation. :heartpulse::blue_heart: If she doesn’t, she’s the problem.

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You and your husband sit down with her and give her two weeks notice.

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She is taking advantage of you. Does she have any days off? Because I’m sure you could use a break from the kids once in awhile send them over!

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No. She is the bad guy using you. I know you love your family but you can love and help without getting used.

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Tell her to call the local DSS and apply for Purcase if Care vouchers and use them with a certified sitter or agency that accepts them .

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She’s taking advantage of you! And 50 every two weeks?! That isn’t shit shes not paying you at all and your providing everything, just tell her you can’t do it anymore. You and your family come first! She shoulda been finding a day care this whole time.

Helping is one thing, you are going above and beyond. She is taking advantage of you

Give her a two week notice, and wash your hands of it. If you give her some notice, then she can’t really complain. Just say, this isn’t what this arrangement was supposed to be. You’re not upholding your side, and I can no longer physically and financially support both sides of this arrangement. I also cannot continue doing this to the detriment of my own health and my own children. As a mom, she will understand. If she doesn’t, then you know it was just her using you to get what she wanted, and your needs and health never mattered to her to begin with. Either way, you know you can’t continue doing it for her and something has to give. She’s it.

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No! You need to prioritize you and your health and your baby’s health!

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You should tell her you can no longer care for her children. :heavy_heart_exclamation::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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No. You have a family. You told her you weren’t sure how long you could watch her kids for. Tell her it is time for her to find another sitter. And your sorry but there is to much on your plate. Thats also shitty she isnt paying you. And it only paying you $25 a week. If im correct. You said $50 every other week? I would tell her, you can’t do it anymore.

You need to tell her to find someone else. She’s taking advantage of you. You’re not responsible for her kids or her job.

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I don’t mean to sound harsh but it sounds like she’s using you. Especially if she’s not helping out at all.

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I feel like you already have enough on your plate.

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Give her a request for back payment, and if she refuses, tell her “respectfully I don’t work for free and I am actually losing money by helping you, so I am giving you my two week notice”

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No, its too much for you. Too much stress and she’s taking advantage of you and the entire situation

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No, you need to take care of your family first.
And even your husband gave you the ok to tell her to stop bringing her kids.
She needs to figure out something for childcare. And it’s specially not ok if shes not sending food for her kids or paying you.

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You’re OVERWHELMED! Please do what you have to.

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Id make ur man tell her. Lol

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She has had two months to find someone else. It is rude of her to keep asking you to do it not only for free, but it is costing you money. She has it too good, and no reason to look for someone else. Give her two weeks to find someone and just tell her that it’s too much for you.

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She is taking advantage of you. Let her know exactly what is happening and your baby is far more important right now and your husband can see how its wearing on you.
You have to tell her no more you never agreed forever.

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Just let her know that she has 2 weeks to find a new sitter as you are no longer available to watch the children for her. You have other obligations and your own health and family to look after and unfortunately for awhile you won’t be able to help and give her the date at which the 2 weeks is up and you will no longer be able to help her. You could even tell her she only has 1 week if thatd be better for you and you know she can do it. If need be look for sitters for her and give her their information to speed the process along. You are not obligated to care for her children. It is not your obligation to make sure she has care for her children. It’s a blessing you’ve done it as is so just let her know that you’re no longer doing the childcare for her and she needs to find someone else I the next week or two and if she tries to push it say I’m sorry but you knew this was temporary

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What you allow is what will continue

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Sounds like you’re being taken advantage of. You and your family come first.

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If anything tell her the doctor has required you to be on partial bed rest that way she can’t be too mad if it’s “doctor’s orders” that was the baby can be safe

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Nope she’s taking advantage. If you feel bad tell her she has one or two weeks and give her an exact date to find a new sitter. Who does that to someone smh…she’s enjoying free childcare and that lower food bill.

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She doesnt give a damn about u or ur unborn baby so why do you care about her? I wouldnt babysit she will figure it out and learn to be more grateful to those who help out way more then they should. If this was someone else that wasnt close to u would u still feel the way you do? If that answer is no u wouldnt care then that were u need to go witj it bc what ur doing now isnt good for u ur kids her kids or ur unborn child.

I would tell her it’s to much. Give her notice and tell her she has to find someone else

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Blame it on your Dr. Tell her he says your doing to much and it’s putting stress on you and the baby. Tell her how sorry you are and that you will watch them for the next 2 weeks even though you’re Dr doesn’t want you to. If she gets upset with that then I wouldn’t worry about her feelings since she obviously doesn’t care about you or your baby’s well being.

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You can’t help people when you can’t help yourself.
You did your part and were taken advantage of.
You can help her find somewhere new, you can help her find programs to assist her.
That’s as much as you can do anymore, end of story.

Let your husband tell her its his sister … he can tell her its to much on you and his wallet

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First priority is your family not hers! She is taking advantage of you! Quit!!!

First of all I would have stopped the second she stopped sending food, and stopped paying you. Fuck that.

Tell her to apply for state aid for childcare but tell her you cannot do it anymore. You already have your hubby’s support in this so hopefully if she tries to start anything he’ll at least defend you to his family.

While it’s rude of her to just stop sending food and expect so much of you, it sounds like you haven’t communicated with her. If you really don’t want to just leave her hanging and give it up then I’d tell her quite categorically what you require each day for meals and make an agreement that you will let her know in advance if possible that you have an appointment. It’s not rude of you to outline what is required and if she doesn’t like it, she can find appropriate child care and pay for it. Don’t take on her challenges. You’re not saying f off you’re on your own, you’re just saying here is how I can help and when I cant, take it or leave it. It’s her responsibility to fill the other days and to provide for her kids and if they were in a day care, she’d have no choice. Don’t allow it. If you allow people to walk all over you, some will

Nip it in the bud right now babes :hugs:this cannot go on, she s taking tje piss to the extreme here, u have a good heart but she s jumping all over ur kind heart Nnaaa u have to make a cupa tea next time she comes n just say it … U helped till she found someone but wont bother while shr s dumping the kids on u, give her a week not 2 then thats it, be strong speak slowly and calming, if she goes quiet when u tell her just get on with ur tea changing the subject, tell ur hubby to back u up if needed.
The longer this goes on they, ll all ne with u giving birth haha u,ll be o, k babes once its out in the open u will feel like the world has been lifted off ur shoulders i promise i think she s a cheeky cow tbh hahaha Good luck chick xxx

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Take care of yourself an your children. It’s your husband’s sister have him break the news to her…

You’re not a bad guy. Do what you can handle. Also don’t be afraid to ask that you need for her to bring some snacks and to pay you. If you weren’t family she wouldn’t have it any other way. She’d have to. Because at that point she’s not he grateful and taking advantage and then being grimy on her part and your the one who has to pay to help her out. Don’t let someone take advantage no matter who it is because shows their thinking of themselves first so then you should too and don’t take on something that is too much for you too.

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Ive has this experience my my SIL did always Pay me and always brought snacks and at some point i even gave some money back because I thought it was too much but when I needed more money to feed the kids because they weren’t eating the snacks she’s bring for them she started paying me the same as before again. It’s all about communication and understanding and not getting offended or taking things the wrong way. Then I came to a point I couldn’t watch them anymore because I was moving my kids schools and she understood.

You gotta do what’s best for your family. If you can give her a couple week notice

Tell her no. Put your foot down. I was taken advantage of not anymore. I kicked my sister inlaw out of the house because she was taking advantage of my husband her brother who could not say no. I had a argument with her and kicked her out

Tell her your doctor says you are at risk and can’t do it anymore.

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She is early taking advantage of your kindness. I know what it is like to feed 5 older kids but I do it because I am able and want too. But I would not allow anyone to take advantage even family.

So she’s had two months to find another sitter…? Would the sitter be feeding her kids for free…? What’s your SIL expecting to happen? You have your baby and then continue to look after her kids along with yours while juggling a newborn?? No. Tell her you can’t do it anymore and give her two weeks to find another sitter. Also-your husband needs to be weighing in on this…it’s his family. Good luck

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What your SIL is doing is taking advantage of you. Tell her you absolutely cannot watch her kids at all. She knows what she’s doing. I can guarantee that she pays you very little and whenever she wants. This is not true appreciation. I will not place the sole blame on her. You are too nice and an agreeable person so you did agree. You need to be firm when you tell her you will not watch her kids. Do NOT BE VAGUE. Be concrete and crystal clear the last day you will watch her kids. I would plan a small couple of days to be gone where she is forced to find someone else. No one wants to give up a practically free babysitter. Like I tell my daughter, stand up for yourself. Not everyone will like you but they will learn to respect you and your boundaries. If you don’t put a stop to this now, it will never stop. Family is the worse. Your husband should tell her that it’s too much for you as well.

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Give her some notice to find someone else and it’ll be up to her to find someone! Tell her you just can’t handle it and you have things to do too. You should have your husband be there too to back you up. After all it’s his family. Good luck!! :heart:

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Sorry but she sounds like she’s using you why she lives her life. Sorry you can look after two kids when one is sick. I had 3 young ones and one was in and out of hospital. She doesn’t help with food or money ECT. Time to give her kids back to her

You are not the bad guy in this situation, she’s the bad guy for putting you in this position. Does she expect you to skip Dr. appts so she can work? Sorry, she’s taking advantage of your kind heart.

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If she is your husbands sister then he is the one to tell her.

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Hun it sounds like you need a big break from it.

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That’s the similar situation I was in my half sister and the best thing I ever did was tell her I couldn’t do it anymore.
Yes it ruffled a few feathers and her and I are not on great talking terms.

But it was the best thing I ever did.

Definately taking advantage. Not even sending any food is rediculous.

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Your health and children come first say no a sister will get over it and forgive like Hayley Shults your a better woman than u but I have a better sister than you, one she would not put herself in such a bad position and two she would not expect me to bail her out. Good luck xx