I get what you are saying but you aren’t the only one that can take care of a child. Breathing treatments aren’t complicated… my suggestion would be let the child go on the weekend he is suppose to go because you can be held in contempt. Don’t go against the court order unless it’s life or death
Gosh when my x had his days and daughter got sick before he got her it’ll him he’s like ok just keep her home or if he had to work he called me said I can’t get her didn’t hold to much against each other
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Take them to urgent care.or your drs.and get a note just like you would the school. Any decent dad would wanna know how to help care for their kid. And all these women saying you are controlling and petty are terrible mothers themselves. They ×old be the same ones to freak out whyyyyy when their kids dead. Because you let someone else take your child when the pit of your stomach told you not to… some people have material instincts and alot on this page obviously don’t.
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You can get contempt of court and he has grounds to change the parenting plan at that point. You have to follow the parenting plan period and judges take it very seriously
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He could definitely try to complain against it but I think most courts would see that it was for the health and safety of your child and you wouldn’t be in trouble for it, it would likely also make him look worse that he couldn’t be reasonable. Just stay nice and keep everything documented, that’s all you can really do when coparenting is a struggle
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Don’t break the law. Just write down the instructions and put it with the nebulizer that is being sent with the child. It’s not hard to set up a breathing treatment. You are coming across as very controlling. You both need to learn how to effectively coparent. All you’re going to do is put the child in the middle of yalls bullshit and the child will resent you when they are old enough to understand what has been going on. I am not saying your concerns aren’t valid, because they are. But there are different ways to approach the situation aside from keeping the child from the parent and breaking the custody agreement. Good luck mama!!
If it’s medical you shouldn’t get in trouble
Record a video of you doing it and send it to him so he can see how it’s done
Just show them how to put it all together at the drop off it’s not that difficult
Girl. You’re trying to micromanage the situation. He can, indeed, figure it out.
Heal and grow. Move on and leave the petty shit alone.
Contempt of court. He could file a show cause. What you would/could be charged with if baby daddy pursues it. More disturbingly, keeping yalls child from their other parent.
Grow up.
A breathing treatment is very simple. You just put the medication in the nebulizer . You know you’re done with the treatment when the medication is gone. You just breathe in the medicine via nasal cannula or mask. It’s pretty straightforward and simple.
It must be a good reason why he doesn’t want you to come by and or him come to you. I mean didn’t it come with directions and I don’t think he would jeopardize his child health if he didn’t know. I mean why does he really don’t want to be bother ( with you)
If you were communicating by text save it all so you have proof of why you kept the child at home. If he isn’t willing to take 5 mins to watch how to do it then the child should stay home where he or she can get their meds
It’s not that hard to figure out how to use a nebulizer .as for the dose it’s usually the whole tube .if it’s not just tell the ex that it’s half or a third …
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I don’t understand if he loves his child…like the mom stated…what’s 15 minutes of his time to learn properly. If I were the mo. I wouldn’t be able to relax all weekend
Most court orders have a clause saying that as long as you give adequate notice that a visit cannot be made and for good reason, it’s ok. I would check the exact wording of your order.
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That child’s health is more important than a court order. I have a court order for visitations and I haven’t seen my 17 soon to be 18 year old since Covid started! However she’s at the age to where she’s brainwashed and don’t want nothing to do with me and her siblings. I could’ve went to court to complain about my parental rights being violated and court order not being met but due to her age, I knew I was fighting a losing battle and thought she’d come around when she’s ready. Don’t let him get you stressed out when he’s being an asshole when it comes to your child. It’s always what’s best (or should be) for the child.
He didn’t say he wasn’t going to do the treatment, he said he didn’t need you to show him how to do it, he can ask someone else or watch videos, it doesn’t have to be you, if he hasn’t shown any neglect during his time I wouldn’t mess with the order, cops do not have to be involved but this could backfire on you and it would be a messy court situation, do you want that for your child? Sometimes we think we know what’s best when it’s actually only what’s best for us not necessarily what’s best for the others involved.
He is a grown man and fully capable of taking care of his child just as you do. If he wasn’t for whatever reason do you honestly think the courts would allow him to have unsupervised visitation.
Another way for you to feel better is write it out step by step but give the man some damn credit already.
Maybe you could make a short video of the steps and send it to him.
We are not a judge. This really depends on if he presses charges on you or call the cops.
Also depends on how good of a lawyer y’all both have and how the judge is feeling that day
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Take a video of you doing it and send it
He can figure it out, it’s not rocket science… it’s a breathing treatment… not a pikline with meds…
I’d set the machine up and write out the instructions in as clear a way as possible or maybe even just make a video and send it to him. If you violate a court order you can be held in contempt of court. Breathing treatments are common. It’s not something that takes a rocket scientist to do so I wouldn’t expect and leniency from a judge
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Breathing treatments aren’t very complicated. I’m sure he can figure it out
Document everything you’ve offered and he’s refused to do and try to get a video of the breathing issues before a treatment. And lastly, call him every 30 min to check up on the child. After awhile he’ll probably call you to pick the child up
If it were me I would keep my child home until they get better.
Yes I get it it’s not rocket science most people however we are talking about men (the species known for not reading directions) when it comes to my kiddos I don’t play that nonsense.
P.s do people really run to the court for everything?
Is your child old enough to do his treatment on his own ??
They’d come and tell you to let the child go with his dad the first time , after that it would be a court issue .
Go ahead and break the court order. Then dad can take you to court and get custody and you’ll lose all control of the situation. Works out better for everyone from the sound of it.
He will figure it out , he can even call the pharmacy for help…. It’s obvious he wants nothing to do with you , but seems to care enough to pick him up to spend time with him. Let him parent his way ! Seems to me you might be using this as an excuse to spend time with him. Text the info … all machine manufacturers have u tubes on how to operate them.
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You’re out of line, both parents are equally important for the child and you have no grounds to break the custody order for this. The father is capable of figuring it out, it very easy. It sounds like an excuse that you are trying to use for you to withhold access. Time to grow up. Send him a video of you doing it if you’re that worried he can’t figure it out.
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He can figure it out. It’s not complicated. Don’t go against the order.
The court look for patterns so it shouldn’t be an issue especially since he doesn’t want to come so u can show him how to do it .
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Either you just think he’s stupid and incompetent and can’t figure things out himself or you’re overly dramatic 
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Sounds like you’re the one playing childish games. You seem to have control issues. You can’t make him do it the way you want, so now you’re self-righteously mad. Who said he won’t give him the treatments? That’s an assumption you made, he said he’ll figure it out. Go ahead and keep him from his child, see how that works out for you.
I have 2 special needs kiddos with my ex…. Most of the time we work well but medically he’s lost and my kids have major needs and meds and see tons of specialists…. I hate letting him control if he does or doesn’t do what’s expected. My lawyer told me to track everything and use a calendar even if he’s late or doesn’t take them or pick them up. Everything can be used later. I also have to share 50/50 medical but I have the kids for all appointments because my ex is not good at remembering or keeping up so luckily I have charge of most of it but it sucks to let someone else decide if they can or will do what we think is needed…. I know it is hard but see if he fails or not this time…. Cause you may have to deal with much worse later on then just albuterol treatments.
So just say the child had gotten sick while in dads care would you be ok if dad kept them from you until the child was better?
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Breathing treatments aren’t rocket science, you sound controlling. He isn’t refusing to do them, he just does not want to be around you, you could just text the instructions.
I for one would break the court ordered for the safety of the child… The judge would rule in your favor if the “stubborn” ex pushed it…HE should go to the nurse and they can show him,you could stay away like the court ordered…Seem like the court ordered was put in place for a reason??
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It’s really not hard, it very easy to figure out. He can do it. Honestly I think your just using this to be petty. Unless in the past he has neglected his health. If he has never given you a reason give him a chance. He is a big boy, and a father. Let him be. If he does not give him the treatments then next time yes, but if this has never happened let the man have his kid… Don’t be part of the issue with bitter exs.
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None of us know what your particular court will do. Sone won’t consider it a valid excuse.Some will. So everyone arguing in the comments is useless. I have decades of experience in different court systems and have seen it go both ways.
In this situation we don’t know what type of parent he is. Is he usually capable of taking care of the son you share? I try to believe everyone is, but I have seen mom
and dads that definitely are not, but still get visitation.
Only you know your situation. You need to figure out if you are truly concerned your ex wont give the treatments, or if you are being over protective
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Yes you are wrong. Hopefully he shows up with the police and a copy of his order so he can see his child. What you are doing isn’t called for. He can do it just fine.
At the end of the day it really doesn’t matter what any of us say or suggest, and even though there is a court order we are talking health if a child, so basically you know what your ex is like none of us do, if you think he would be capable of completing the scheduled treatment times then there’s your answer, you could write it down or suggest a link he could watch or read and you could even offer your time over the period he has him if he needs help, even though he may be being childish when it comes to the education you don’t have to be … just be the bigger person-
Can he do it - yes
Write it down and pass it on to him or text it through
Offer your time if he gets stuck
Send a random text whilst he has him If you’re concerned
If you don’t think he can do it don’t send him … simple 
Maybe she has reason not to trust him
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Keep your child with you if the father isn’t willing to been shown how to do the treatment. Your child’s wellness and care is more important than a court order.
If it’s just breathing treatments it’s easy to figure out. He is the dad and he needs to learn these things and you could walk him thru over text or video call? These are things he’s going to have to learn you can’t control every situation. I get it sucks having to share custody but in all honesty if the child isn’t in danger then really going against a court order isn’t advised. Unless he was to text or tell you he absolutely wasn’t going to give him the treatments.
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You need to send your kid to his dads with his breathing machine/medicine and instructions. Write a simple note. You don’t need to instruct him. It really is easy to figure it out. He is just as much that child’s parent as you are. Don’t keep you kid from their dad.
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Get a note from the doctor that says the child has to stay with you for the duration of the treatment. Probably not good for the kiddo to bounce around anyways or be under stress while taking a breathing treatment. Also, you need to know the kid is getting the treatment and properly, as well as at the exact same time and all.
So contact or go see the doctor and get an order that states the kiddo stays where he is until it’s over.
Without it the courts may not see that you’re just trying to make sure it gets done and may believe dad would be capable of doing it.
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If it’s what you think is best for your kid and y’all can work it out go for it. Me and my bd switch weekends every once in awhile if one parent has something going on that can’t be moved to their weekend and we want lyric to be their for it
Write the instructions down. Make a copy. Dad is perfectly capable of taking care of a sick child. Yes he is playing games. Take boys of it and keep texts and stuff. And send the child.
It’s not a difficult process, it’s a few quick and easy steps. You can take a video and send it to him. Unless you have reason to believe he won’t give your child the treatments, like if he’s neglected medical care in the past, I would send the kid.
If your ex shows up and you won’t give the child over to him and he calls the police one of two things is going to happen: one. The cop will side with you and tell him to get lost. Or two he’s going to say that y’all have a court order and you need to abide by it.
Honestly it’s probably going to be the second one.
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don’t know this answer but do know ur ex is an a’hole & no wonder he’s ur ex…i wouldn’t send my kid this weekend. good luck
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Breathing treatments are literally self explanatory. It doesn’t take 10 seconds to explain let alone 15 minutes and if the machine is put together you could literally show him at pick up witha 15 second explanation. In nc not following the order is a reap big deal
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Call your lawyer so he can call a judge
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This is not a valid reason. Write the instructions down & send the child.
You should’ve called your lawyer to get him to compromise. If you violate the order, it’ll start a pattern. You can end up in court & paying his fees for dragging you there bc there’s no emergency. No Dr’s notes saying the child can’t or shouldn’t go.
He’s the father & you aren’t this mother. He has a right to see his child & unless you want to pay for court costs & attorneys fee’s, don’t play this game.
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I would think if the child is sick/under the weather, he /she should stay home, But that also means you also have to stay home too, If you keep the child from their dad, & the dad see you out & about with the child, you just might not like the outcome
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Get ahead of the problem, and go and see your local sheriff or magistrate before you do anything. It may be a case of making an appointment with a nurse or the local pharmacist to give him the run down.
Why don’t you video what you do and send it to him? And write it down also step by step… and he can call the doctor himself and google it also. It’s stressful being a mumma and not being in control but he’s the dad also and unfortunately has rights and im sure he wouldn’t want his child to suffer same as you wouldn’t? Your son will be fine with his dad. Try not to worry 
Just walk him thru it over the phone… and take a breath… Not all men are dummies…and can usually figure things out… it’s kinda in their nature when it come to setting this up n putting things together
Document everything!
Record how to do it and message the recording to him.
I couldn’t figure out how to give my kid a breathing treatment while dad was at work (he normally does them) so I YouTube’d it and got it done. The man can most certainly figure out how to do it without you walking him through it.
This ain’t what you want to hear buuut you’re being just as stubborn. You’re under the impression your ex can’t administer the child’s medicine. You’re acting as if a grown adult can’t read instructions. I can’t stand it when parents say “I’m only doing this to protect my child” no you’re doing it to prove you’re in charge and that’s absolutely wrong.
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My kids have been on treatments.it doesn’t take no 15 minutes to explain. You can easily explain it at drop off. Just show him where the solution goes.the rest of the machine is pretty self explainitory
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If you messages to prove this and he refused then the court you look into your favor that his medical attention needed to walked through and figuring it out wouldn’t be the safest way to care for your child
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Write down step by step instructions and send them with the machine. He can try and figure it out on his own and when he cant, those instructions will be right there. It will be ok momma!!
You’re a fucking control freak. That’s his kid too and he can figure it out. Let the man be a father jfc.
Absolutely not. You have to go by the court order. He is just as much his parent as you are and honestly it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to do a breathing treatment. Just give him a copy of the instructions from the Dr or send a video of you getting it prepared if you are that worried. This is not a valid reason and you could be held in contempt.
Breathing treatments aren’t hard to figure out. He is his father. He loves his just as you do. He will want him safe and healthy also. Just because he doesn’t want to meet up with you for directions doesn’t mean he is going to neglect his care.
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It’s not rocket science. If you’re that concerned take a video of you doing it and send it to him. It sounds like to me you just like being in control.
Call your lawyer ASAP!
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Breathing treatments are easy. Getting the child to do it might be the battle. Would of been easier for her to see u both united in this to support her thru it. But…not worth getting on the judges bad side. Just tell him if he cannot figure it out bring her home.
I love all of the helpful suggestions here. Take a video, write stop by step instructions, he can YouTube it, Google is his friend. It is not rocket science and you jump straight to ‘I think I’ll fuck around and find out.’ have you considered how insulting it might be to his intelligence that you think he is so incapable that he has to have an in person demonstration rather than written instructions?
Some of these comments are crazy she never said she wasn’t going to ever let him see his child. One time because he refuses to learn how to do the treatment. As a mother of a child with asthma I would do the same thing. Take me to court and I will explain how he didn’t want to learn. She isn’t be controlling she is being a mother with concern for her child’s health.
Reading some of the entitlement on this page is disgusting. No one gave us a handbook as mothers when we first had our children. We had to be taught & learn how to do things. Same with fathers. Just because as mothers we tend to do things differently than the fathers doesn’t mean they’re incapable of doing anything. It isn’t hard to find out how to do something. Just because the father doesn’t want you showing him or teaching him doesn’t mean he isn’t going to learn how or figure out what to do. For all you know he could know someone whose a doctor or a nurse & wanted to ask them for assistance. Get over yourself. You’re not a professional, he doesn’t have to listen to you. As long as he isn’t neglecting the kids needs, which you don’t even know, you’re not even trying to give him a chance to take care of the child IN HIS OWN WAY, then it shouldn’t matter how he learns to do things. Refuse the visit, your reason is invalid. Have some confidence in the man you laid down with & made a baby with
I’m not a judge but under the circumstances I think I would keep him home to and be sure and tell your lawyer what you’re going to do
Google it. It’s not that hard he can figure it out
I would make a video and send it to him. I wouldn’t go against a court order bc it’ll cause issues on your end. He can call the police if he wants to be an ass and they will come out and force you to let him take him. At least that’s how it works in my state.
Talk to your friend of the court it’s the easiest to figure out if you’d be penalized don’t ask random people that probably don’t live in the same state as you or county they are all different
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It’s really not that that hard, send written directions in the box …my ex is the same way cannot and will not face me. It’s been 4 years and has never talked to me other then court … he’ll text our son and my son tells me. He won’t even text me he said email him lol 
now that’s petty and bitter lol
Breathing treatments aren’t rocket science and he’s a grown man. I’m sure he can figure out how to put it together or work it without your guidance.
He says he can figure it out, let him! It isn’t rocket science. If your kid is over 5, they can probably do it themselves even.
Do you trust that he will do the treatment? If you don’t think he would neglect giving your child the treatment let him figure it out. Give him the paperwork and directions and allow him to be a parent. If you don’t think he’s responsible enough to give your child the treatment you’ll get a violation and have to go to court about it in which case you explain to the judge/ your lawyer that your child needed breathing treatments that you had reason to believe your ex would neglect so you went against court order for the well-being of your child
Contact your attorney and the court system…
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Breathing treatments are so incredibly simple. You’re being overbearing and controlling. You would be in contempt. He would most likely receive makeup time since it’s nothing crazy, but you should get worse for such a ridiculously little thing.
I went through this myself. When it comes to medical, and YOU as the PRIMARY looking out for the well being of your child…he would have to take you to court on contempt claims. The judge is going to ask why you didn’t follow the stipulations of the court order. You’ll have to explain your reasoning. Judge will decide if it warrants you breaking court order.
Reread your custody agreement. In many cases there is a clause about child being sick. The offer to switch days is usually required to allow his visitation. If you offered a makeup day, and the child is sick, AND you are not doing this on a regular basis, you should be ok.
Why do you feel he can’t do the breathing treatments on his own ? I personally feel my bd could . That’s just me though .
I would rather go against the court order than bury the baby
You will be fine. 
don’t stress about it.
It all depends on the state that you live in… I never got in trouble when I didn’t send my children because the court system so backed up anyway they weren’t gonna take me to court over something so petty.
You will jeopardize your custody with your child by breaking a court order. It could be very severe consequences.
I would document that you gave him the instructions and tell your ex that if he has any questions or concerns that you will be happy to help. Give him the number to the doctor and call and check up on your child. If he gets overwhelmed I think he will bring the child back to you.
Oh wow. Definitely document the conversations. I wouldn’t go against it. But this could help you in future over custody.
Send him a video !!! Simple resolutions with technology now …. Send him a dozen videos to all accounts LOL
Send him a video on how to do it.
Sorry, but you need to contact the court and your doctor.
What the fuck is wrong with these guys. Just sick in the head. Can’t even see how it’s done I’m sorry you’re going through that
As a health care professional and a mother some of these responses really worry me. You would be surprised how many parents need to be educated on how to use nebulizers and do breathing treatments properly. We literally go over it step by step for parents all the time! Also if this is something new to them it is different then all of you saying “my kid needed it forever its easy” things you do all the time became easy and you may forget how it felt the first time your kid needed it before it became routine for you. Although dad may be able to “figure it out” the fact is she is trying to properly coparent by showing him what the doctors office showed her. He is in fact being stubborn for refusing and if this is out of their normal routine I can see her apprehension. Also none of us know the dads actual involvment or competency level so if she has a legitamate fear for her child who are any of you to say otherwise/call her controlling.
OP
Although its never best to go against the court order, your childs safety is always priority and if you truly are worried for their safety do what you gotta do. Just know he can take you to court for violation of the order. As others have stated depending on your state/the referee you get it could result in something as serious as a fine or jail however I highly doubt that with 1 incident 
it will more then likely be a slap on the wrist and makeup parenting time which you have already offered by offering next weekend since Im guessing you have an every other weekend schedule (from literal experience).
Good luck, Im sure you are just trying to have your childs best interest at heart. Half the hate on this post is probably the girls with the deabeat who yell “my man tries so hard to see his kid but cant” “his babymama so bitter” and the other half probably really do deal with a manipulative bitter ex so they are all projecting
Do what is best for you and your child. If this is all ongoing issue consider a lawyer for consult or a neutral 3rd party who you can both trust to pass these important things through
Breathing treatments are pretty easy to figure out. Send him the instructions and the child will be fine with dad. There is zero reason for him to allow you in his house.
We cannot control everything.
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