Take the doctors treatment plan and any other things you need to the court house Monday and file them that way if he tries to fuss it’s already known
If he’s an adult he can figure out how to administer a breathing treatment. Stop being petty and stick to your agreement.
1 he’d have to take you to court to complain about it and 2 if you have messages of him refusing to learn the meds you’re good. No trouble for you.
Yes or no depending on the back history. Eg if theres been severe medical neglect in the past there’s a risk of harm that you have to address. If he’s just being a d!ck not wanting to talk to you but will figure out his child’s needs then yes you can get in trouble for withholding.
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This why having sole custody of my son was undebatable!
But, to answer your question, I’m 99% sure he’s not going up cry about not having a sick kid over the weekend. Keep your kid!
Follow the court order, take him like it says, sounds like your trying to push your way back into his life…does he have another girlfriend…
breathing treatments aren’t that hard, you don’t say how old your kid is, send the equipment and instructions, and BUTT OUT OF HIS LIFE! He obviously is staying out of yours…
Think about it this way. Court doesn’t just know you violated s court order. There has to be a complaint. He’s not willing to spend 15 minutes to learn how to care for his child. Do you think he’s going to spend the time & money to petition the courts over this 1 time? I doubt it. He wants control over you. He doesn’t actually care about your child.
Keep all the texts about your child’s diagnoses, treatment & you attempting to show him how to take care of your child. If all conservations have been oral text him that your son needs these treatments, how often & that you wish to teach him. If he doesn’t respond or responds negatively tell him ok I’m going to keep him home to assure his medical needs are fulfilled. Then stop. Don’t continue any conservation. Don’t get pulled into an argument. Don’t answer the door. If he takes you to court you have evidence that your child’s wellbeing isn’t important to him.
Although I can totally understand the concern, nebulizers are pretty easy to use, I agree with some other comments I seen, send him all the info in a text or write it down include it with the meds, or send a video. You do not want to go against court order, he could if he wanted to hold that on you and it could hurt you in the future. The order is there specifically so that either parent is not able to hold custody. also if the order states that it is his weekend he could contact the police and gain access to the child that way. Most officers will go with a court agreement unless the child is literally refusing to go then they let the court handle it.
I completely understand your frustrations…In CA the other party can call the police and have them physically removed from your house and into the other parents custody…all you have to do is show them the legal court order. Not sure you would want to get to that level. I would write everything down on how to put it together, the dose, times, etc and send it in a bag with all of the items and let him know to please call if he has any issues with it.
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There are other options. You could risk losing your custody. Work together for the sake of your child. It’s not your way or the highway. Placing your child’s welfare in the hands of a stranger - the judge - is not the answer.
Make sure u have everything on text
Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill. When I was raising my ex boyfriends daughter, she has eczema, asthma and allergies to cat dander. Ok.
I put enough albuterol and pulmicort for the treatments she would need for the weekend while she would be with her mother and I added her eczema cream as well.
I didn’t feel the need to walk her through anything bc it’s all self explanatory and not to mention, the breathing machine does come with directions. Not sure how old your child is but even a regular inhaler a kid can do themselves. Anyways, there’s nothing to pouring the medicine in the vile, putting the cap back on and twisting it to lock it and then hooking up the tubes and have the child hold it during the duration of his/her treatment.
It’s scary at first and I understand your concern all too well, but you are the one being stubborn. Pot calling the kettle black kinda thing. Let him be a parent and if he has any questions, I’m sure he has people he can turn to on how to work it but it does sound like you’re getting mad because he won’t do it the way you want to do it. Let it go. Your kid will be fine. If not, I’m sure he knows how to dial 911. We don’t like to do that but it is a choice he has and you need to accept that this is a part of coparenting.
If you go against a court order, he could file a rule to show cause as to why you withheld his child from him. It’s not an emergency, it’s over you wanting him to take 15 minutes out of his day so youuuuu can walk him through how it’s done?
That’s not excusable. The child’s life is not in imminent danger. The child has medicine. Now IF the child returns to you and the meds are still on the bag, unused, then you have a reason to involve child services or go to court yourself and file a rule to show cause as to why he did not administer the meds to the child.
My stepdaughters mother did that. She returned her and she was broke out from head to toe, I called child services that same day and they came out within 24 hours and noted the child’s skin condition and looked in the bag and saw none of her meds were given to her. That was her 3rd strike mind you and the courts permanently suspended all visits and if she wanted visits again, she would have to go back to court to file for them.
This father doesn’t sound like that. So, don’t be stubborn and childish. Observe and chill out.
I think it would be okay for one weekend to let him stay with you
Dude is an adult, he can figure it out.
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Coparenting is hard, I get it. But your ex is just as much of a parent as you are and breathing treatments aren’t super complicated. Unless you have a legit concern (which this does not seem like it is) let him be a dad.
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He is a parent too. Text the instructions or text a copy of the dr order and it’s not rocket science. He will get the time back if you don’t follow the custody order.
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Maybe send a video of you doing it, with instructions?
I’m sure he could figure it out they are not that complex
Talk to your lawyer don’t just go against court without saying anything that can get you in trouble.
Do you have everything in messages proving he’s not willing to try to learn ect ??
As long as you have documentation, I would think a judge would be on your side if your ex tried to get you for contempt.
Like, text or use a parenting app explaining your child has health needs throughout the weekend and you would like to show him the proper way to administer the breathing treatments. It will take a few mins to explain how to do it and the proper administration of medication. Don’t answer your phone. Make him respond through text or the parenting app that he’s not interested in learning and will figure it out himself. Assuming your ex is not in the medical field, googling a ‘how to’ isn’t good enough when it comes to a child’s health care
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Call your lawyer and ask them
I understand what people are saying and I do get it. He can figure it out. But coming from a mother that would leave her kids with someone TRUSTED and go over the same ol stuff every time, that pales in comparison to this, I hear ya! I need to go over and over their needs and what to bring if they take them out and how to make them comfortable. And it’s nothing life threatening. Personally I would go against court orders and stake my claim afterwards. It’s probably not the best advice, legally speaking. But I couldn’t send him and worry sick the whole time!
Your feelings are valid and you’re protecting your baby 
Giving a breathing treatment isn’t really difficult. It could be easily Googled.
You would be violating a court order if you refuse him his visitation, but for charges to be brought against you, he would need to file contempt charges with the court.
With that said, that’s his child as much as yours. It sucks that you can’t co-parent well, but unless your ex had given you reason to believe he would neglect the child’s medical necessities, you have no reason or right to keep the child from him.
In short, yes you could get in trouble. As his father he has the right to his child as much as you. Send the breathing treatment along. And if he doesn’t do them then document it wasn’t done. Just because the kiddo is sick doesn’t mean dad is less capable of caring for his child during that time. Sounds harsh but it’s the unfortunate truth.
Would y’all let some treat your kid from YouTube the kid is sick so what will he do be considerate and take the next week don’t be an asshole about it
Document the discussions and call the court to tell them.
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Nebulizers come with instructions. So you don’t have any excuse to be a b**** about it. You sound really controlling, and I get why you two aren’t together. But it’s not a valid reason to withhold visitation. If I were him, I’d be speaking to my lawyer about why you won’t give me my child and his breathing machine.
You’re both childish. You have control issues. He’s an adult he can figure it out. He will not learn how if you constantly trying to control what’s going on in his house. Maybe hes tired of you over step his parenting skills. So I can see why he said no. You can record video of how to do it if you’re concern
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Send him a google link.
Here’s the thing, if there is a court order you can’t keep the child away. He has not caused any harm to the child. Him telling you he doesn’t want you to come over and show him doesn’t give you the right to keep his child away. I’m almost sure if his dad had a concern about his child’s breathing he will call someone or he will take him to the ER.
You can’t hold the child because you think he will not care for the child.
Document everything how he isn’t wanting to compromise for the child’s health! Keep your child tomorrow!
While I understand your concerns , he can figure it out . I’m pretty sure he’s had one or seen it done . He can Google it , and figure it out . I wouldn’t go against a court order , because that will look bad against you . If he doesn’t do what he’s suppose to , then that’s on him and then you can apply for a modification . I’d just email, or text him how to do it .
Do what u think Is best for ur child period!!! If it’s in text form let the judge see he wasn’t trying to learn to make sure he is tended to properly
I’d write down in detail on how to do everything side notes main notes even little doodles if needed but I’d be careful breaking a court order
Ur In contempt and can go to jail for not abiding by court orders doing a breathing treatment is not that hard and I’m sure he can figure it out without u trying to womanslpain it to him get over urself and let that man have his visitation with his child!!
You could end up in jail unless you talk to the court and get a exemption from the order
You can do a video recording on how the doctor instructed you to do the treatments and send it to him. I wouldn’t go against a court order.
Maybe she isn’t worried that he can’t figure it out but that he won’t… I feel like we just don’t have enough background to know if she’s a control freak or there is a history of behavior that causes her to he concerned.
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You follow ur court order and let him have his child breathing treatments are easy to give… If hes unsure can look on tube for a video.
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I understand your side. But as long as he gives the breathing treatments while he has your kid then he should be able to see the child. The breathing treatments are not hard. You don’t have to make him go out of his way to learn how to do it he can just do it while he has the kid or when he picks your kid up or you take your child to him you can show him.
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Just do what is best for your child. The father of my granddaughter breaks court orders constantly. The judge does nothing. You are considering breaking yours for the welfare of your child. If he attempted to file contempt, the judge would laugh in his face. Just let your childs father know why you are not following it this time and offer a make up time.
I would do what you chose.
Let dad figure it out…he will.
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Can you not show him or explain it to him real quick when he picks the child up for his normal weekend visit? Why does he need to come over ahead of that time to be taught how? Write it down, show him real quick when he picks the child up and let them be on their way.
When my 13 yr old was younger she had to use an inhaler with a spacer (where you spray the inhaler into the tube and the child breathes the medicine through that). I showed her dad how to do it in about 2 min when he picked her up. Anytime she had to be on medication I always wrote down the times and dosage and gave that to him when he’d pick her up. It’s not that difficult. Unless he’s completely incompetent he can handle it.
You give him his child. That’s his time. Stop being a selfish b----- he can learn how to do it himself it’s not hard to figure out and yes your a@@ will get it trouble that’s no excuse and the court will say the same thing. that’s HIS time while yall child is sick or not. Petty b----
Did the dr give any post discharge instructions? How sick is the child? Should the child remain in one place to recover? Have you tried trading weekends? Letting him have him next weekend while you keep him to recover and ensure his treatment is being given as needed? If you have proof he didn’t want you to teach him, save it and don’t bother trying to teach him. If he can’t figure it out after, have him contact the DME company that provided it or the hospital.
There are cases where a parent has lost custody for not learning to use medical equipment.
Honestly breathing treatments are pretty easy to give and if he doesn’t want you to help him then he will have to take the time on his own to figure it out. So if he rather do that then let him. I wouldn’t risk getting in trouble with the court over it.
He’s a jerk, he doesn’t want to learn then I would keep your child with you. That way you can give the treatments the Dr ordered!!!
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Yes, you’ll absolutely be in trouble. Contempt of court is no joke. And if you go to court saying you violated it over him not letting you show him how to do something, you won’t get a pass.
Taking time away from dad for something you can make a video of, or text, is not something the Courts will side with you on.
Pack a toothbrush. I’ve seen mom’s go to jail for keeping kids from dads on their scheduled visitation.
In Canada you can call 811 and give them the info and ask them to put in the file that your breaking a court order to complete the medication and why. If you don’t have a worker. Or counsellor dealing with it
If you’re concerned for your child’s health and well being while in the care of the other parent, contact your lawyer or mediator (who ever has worked with you (from the legal dept.) on this matter before).
Take him back to court
Also my ex put a pillow over my sons face when he was having an asthma attack. Only bc he woke him up after a nightmare. Anyone think I’m being ridiculous about that?? He didn’t understand the whole asthma parent thing.
I don’t know the legal repercussions but I feel like if you have his defiance on record and you were genuinely concerned about your child’s healthcare I say go against it any Judge with a heart will understand where you’re coming from but definitely make sure that you can’t get too serious trouble before you take my advice because like I said I don’t know anything about legal court orders
I mean if your machine is anything like the one my mom or nieces had it’s pretty simple. Even my four year old nieces knew how to do it. Text him the instructions
I can’t really believe the amount of people on here telling you to stop trying to control the situation, or let the child’s father Google the instructions…
Eff that.
This is your child, and breathing is essential for living in case some of you have forgotten.
If it were me, I wouldn’t trust him to even DO the breathing treatment at this point because he hasn’t been cooperating in just learning how to do it. As a parent, shouldn’t that be his MAIN concern?! His child’s health should be put above everything- especially stubborn pride. That’s ridiculous, childish, and neglectful.
I would try to talk to an attorney or even speak with an officer to find out your options. Personally, I would do everything I could to keep my sick child home with me at this point.
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I would document the entire conversation to give the court the evidence of why you chose to go against the court order.
You to need send the child. It is the child’s fathers option, to have him regardless if he needs a Treatment or two. Send the medical stuff with kiddo to dads! Dad can and will figure out a breathing machine treatment. Dad doesn’t need you to show him. Stay in your lane, you don’t get to dictate how dad learns. Worry about your home, Dads worries about his. Goodluck
Going against is going against. Dad is perfectly capable of figuring it out himself and doesn’t need you talking down to him like he’s some kind of maroon that can’t do a simple 5 second Google search 
Breathing treatments are easy when my son has to do a nebulizer I would send the medicine and a little note explaining how much medicine and how often he would get it.
DO NOT DECIDE ON YOUR OWN TO IGNORE A COURT ORDER. Being in defiance of a court order you could lose custody of your child. Contact your attorney immediately and explain the situation in full to him/her. The attorney will then contact the court and explain the situation to the judge. It’s not unusual for the court to grant leniency in light of the danger to your child’s health. If you’ve run out of time to contact your attorney, contact the court yourself. If you can speak directly to the judge, do so and just explain to him/her as you have here. If you can’t speak to the judge, ask to speak to the magistrate.
Been through this where my child’s other parent didn’t want to give him to me because I was 15 mins late, let’s just say he got bitched out by his own lawyer and he never tried it again. I don’t recommend doing it.
He’s the father… unless he’s a moron I’m sure he can do it just like you can… good lord…
Breathing treatments are easy af to do, he can Google or YouTube it if he’s never done it but you sound controlling af and petty, unless the kid is so sick they can’t lift their head and is actuaply asking for their mom there’s no reason to keep them from going with him and letting him give the meds.
I would have the doctor show him .
Can you not write a step by step instruction to show what he needs to do?
This is why I have medical custody and we have 50/50 physical
I mean, do you really feel as if he’s that incompetent that he came figure out how to do a breathing treatment?
Your trying to control it and go against an order I wouldn’t absolutely not
It’s just a nebulizer right? I guess I’m confused as you put the albuterol/saline in and turn it on. Don’t really need instructions?!?!
If you can’t get a clear answer on trouble I’d take my child to an urgent care when it’s time for exchange and explain your situation, they can show him how to do the treatments.
He should have the visit
He should be able to figure it out
He could call the doctor.
The court wouldn’t stop the visit
From experience
Why does he need you to show him? I figured it out on my own!! I don’t think he’s that dumb. Geez.
Make a “how to” video and send it to him for reference if he should have any trouble
Fuck that it’s your child’s health not his he’s no say in this do what you gotta do
Girl he would have to call the cops. File shit at the courts keep your baby if you feel he’s not going to do the meds.
Butttt they aren’t pretty easy to do… if the kid cries while they do it’s better for the baby…
Just write it down in a nice way and send it with your child.
I would take a video of how to do it and send it to him then
Nope, he can figure it out. My kids dad is not permitted for any reason inside MY home. Not now, not ever.
He’s an adult and I’m sure can Google how to, in a step by step tutorial. Don’t put your rights at risk. Trust he’ll do it for your child’s health
Co-parenting is your friend. For EVERYONE’S best mental health
Nah bish, stay ya ass away
I’d document his refusal to you showing him how to care for your child’s recent health issue, contact the court and inform them of your concern for the matter. As you suggested I would offer the visit for after the treatments are completed.
I m doing kinship if the child is sick he stays with me… I don’t let him go see his parents… as I want to get him welll. If I were you I would talk to your lawyer as I have it that he stays with me when … and just give make up hours when better
Some of these posts and comments are crazy. I feel for all co-parents. I am thankful that I don’t have to deal with it( my ex is out of the country ), but I hurt for my children missing out on having both parents but they have a man in their life who loves them just the same. I can’t imagine what y’all other mommas go through.
Take a video of you doing a mock treatment with all the steps and include a link to a YouTube video that you think explains it best. Send it. You’re set.
If it’s medical attention and the dad doesn’t care then yes call the court and tell them he doesn’t care about his child’s well being.
Yes you can be in a lot of trouble trust me you violate an order and make the judge mad you can lose all custody you have.
Dont go against the court order. Just make sure the breathing treatment is done.
It’s his kid to you know mmm he’s not gonna let him suffer.just becouse he’s your ex doesn’t mean he wouldn’t protect and care for said child you mom are out of line .AND yes even one time you can get in trouble not obeying a court order.all the ex has to do is report you.for non compliance
Sounds controlling to me. It’s not rocket science. I’m sure you can text him instructions.
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It’s a breathing treatment. Most people can do it on their own without their ex having to show them how. You can also just text him how it even make a video and send it to him. Quit using it as an excuse to deny time.
if you r the residential parent or have full custody it is ur responsibility to act in the best interest of the child. That’s what we were told by our judge and i did not send my child 1 weekend due to illness. Packing up medical supplies that can be lost or damaged, plus operation is extraordinary and not practical for “visitation” purposes.
ON my weekend with my son, my ex refused to let me have him bc he wanted to take him hunting. I list my weekend & NOTHING happened to him. It’s all about who has the upper hand
Send the meds with the tubing out together. He squirts the tubes in, closes it back and turns it on. Breathe in til empty. It doesn’t require a PhD. There is only one place the medicine can go.
The worst thing that might happen is hd file a Contempt charge
Lady really the child isn’t just yours and he is a grown ass man. I’m sure the medication comes with instructions that the doctor ordered. I’m sure he will k be ow how to do it just fine without your help.
If your child is age 4 or up that child can and should be taught how to put together a nebulizer setup. Unless they are developmentally disabled it should be pretty easy to learn - get busy
You’ll screw yourself big time going against a court order. If he says he can figure it out let him. He’s her parent too and if he has any questions and doesn’t want to call you then I’m sure he’s capable of calling someone else to help. It’s not hard. Why can’t you just write the instructions down on paper and put them in her bag🤷♀️