The mom of a friend to my 6 year old son asked that he come over swimming with them. They just put in a pool. The pool has a diving board, meaning there is a “deep end.” I saw pics of her son going off of it. My son can’t swim very well. I don’t know the mom at all. I’m nervous sending him there. I asked if she would be with them the whole time, and she said yes. But I’m sure she’ll need to run inside to go to the bathroom or something. This friend and his brother (around age 8 are very wild. I’m really nervous would happen if she leaves them alone just for a second. In my mind, I picture one of the boys saying, “Hey, let’s see how long you can hold your head underwater” or pushing him off the diving board. I’m considering telling her that since he can’t swim really well, I’m going to go with him. I asked my son if he would rather that I go or wear his life jacket. He said he’d rather me go. (He’s only 6, so he’s not embarrassed by me yet ). How rude is this (me inviting myself), and/or am I too paranoid?
I think that’s a valid concern. I would just tell her the circumstances and ask if you can tag along. If she says no, then consider keeping your son home.
No way. He’s only 6??? No way. I would totally go too!! Listen to your instincts.
Honestly I don’t blame you mama. A.) The water can be dangerous at ANY age, so if your son isn’t a good swimmer yet that can be dangerous. and B.) I wouldn’t send my child anywhere alone if I didn’t know the other adult/s well enough to feel comfortable (I don’t let anyone outside of a select few family members keep my kids, I don’t trust easily)
I do lots of parties for my kids and I appreciate when parents stick around I know sometimes they can’t cause they have other kids but especially when I have pool party you need to be a few adults and usually under 8 year old parties parents stay anyway
Honestly if the mom wouldn’t want you to go then my kid wouldn’t go. You hear too many stories about drowning accidents
I’m sure she will understand and she would probably appreciate you going and it can give you mama’s a chance to bond and be friends.
My children do not go to houses of people that I do not go. I would automatically assume the parents know I’d be there. Nevermind the whole pool thing. Don’t make it a big deal though. Set up the play date using “we”. Example: We will be there from 1 to 3 does that sound good?
Not rude I would think the invitation is extended being that he’s so young. I would want to go with my son as well just to know where and who he’s going to be with.
Follow your gut…If you don’t want to leave your child there then don’t do it!!
NOT paranoid mama! Your child’s safety is of utmost importance.
She should understand. If not, she’s not the kind of person you’d want your little guy around.
#MomsHelpingMoms #HesYourBaby
I think you should go too until you get to know the kid and mom better. That’s your baby.
ALWAYS go with your gut. You’re anxious about this for a reason. Maybe instead of the pool offer a different activity. My children never go anywhere without me if I don’t know the parents well. She should expect you to go with. If not it’s a red flag. Don’t leave him.
Why would you let your 6 year old go without you? Never apologize for being a mom. In fact, it’s kinda odd the pool mom did not invite you. That could definitely be a liability.
I would invite myself
I would deffo be going with a young child
Don’t think for a minute that this is rude, it is NOT rude. We cannot rely on other people to watch our children near water well enough. And god forbid something happened you would blame yourself forever. I know of a gentleman that lost his son from drowning right around the same age and he’s going through hell because of it. We can never be too safe because in the blink of an eye it can all change.
Nope, I would totally go! My daughter is 11 and a decent swimmer but water makes me SO anxious. I was hesitant to let her go to the lake with her best friend last summer and I’ve known her best friends mother since we were in grade school. I know she’s a good attentive mother and would watch my child like her own but my anxiety was so high the entire time she was gone. I completely understand, and not knowing this mother would be a hard no for me.
Definitely go too! I would do the same.
Girl take TWO bottles of wine and make it a mom date.
It’d be rude if she didn’t understand your concern. Who knows you all could hang out & could be friends!
The mum would like the company and probably make good friends out of it
Go with your gut feeling it’s there for a reason also that’s your baby
Definitely go I wouldn’t allow a 6 year old without parents supervision - I would say that if you invite a young kid over for a swim it’d include the parent
I’d definitely go until you all know one another better and know what type of parent she is.
Not rude. Normal. It would be concerning if you didn’t go
Just go with him. Don’t ask. Don’t leave without your child. It doesn’t matter if it makes them uncomfortable. They shouldn’t make you uncomfortable by expecting you to not be there at that age.
Its your sons life at stake. Of coarse you need to go.
Do go. If you don’t and something happens, you will never forgive yourself and CPS and the cops will be involved.
I would 200% assume I’m invited too. That’s your BABY. He is 6. She should have zero issues with you staying. I personally wouldn’t leave my child with someone I don’t know…swimming or not.
Just asked her if she would mind if you stick around because he can’t swim well and you’d feel more comfortable. Offer to pick up wine, or some snacks and make it a mom date !
A child drowned at our local pool with lots of adults around. It can happen in the blink of an eye. The more people there to watch the better! Besides you might end up with an awesome mom friend with a pool! If I was the other Mom I would be glad to have the help watching kiddos.
Just be honest she’s a mother herself I’m sure she’ll understand
Yep, I have no problem inviting myself, or inviting them to your house to get to know whether or not you’d trust the mom with your child alone. I met most of my close friends through my children’s friends. It makes for a fun experience for the kids, too!
I feel if she invited your child you should be able to go point blank.
Go with snd have him wear a life jacket or floaters
Get your kid some swimming lessons!
Just go with him, he’s young, they should understand. Maybe you’ll become friends. I’m sure your son will be happy to have you they too
I would NEVER have a problem with another parent coming. She probably wants to get to know you too.
Tell her your concerns. If i were her i would want you to be there.
politely tell her: thank you for inviting my son… 3 boys around water sounds like a lot of fun but it would be best if both of us were there to supervise… accidents happen in seconds… what would u like me to bring?
Yes go with him.No way I’d be letting my 6 yr old at someone’s house that I don’t know.I’d be afraid of an accident happening too.
At that age I always expected the other parent would want to stay. At least the first few times anyway. My kids are older now (20 & 21) but when they were little, it was just this side of rude to not stay unless the parents were already friends.
My son is 6 and I wouldn’t let him go without me.
Always go with your gut. Especially since he’s not the greatest swimmer and so young. I think in this case any parent would understand and not think that inviting yourself is rude in any way.
Since he isn’t a good swimmer I 100% would ask to come and supervise. I would also come since you don’t really know the other mom very well. How can you trust someone you don’t really know.
I wouldn’t let my kid go alone. Especially knowing their is a sibling that’s on the wild side (yes I know boys will be boys lol). Trust your gut and either go with him or keep him home. 
Yep my 6 yr old wouldn’t be going alone to someone’s house with a pool
Here is an opportunity to teach him how to swim.
I wouldn’t let him go alone
Make your son the fall guy (in the nicest possible way!)… tell her that he wants to come but he’s said he won’t go without you. Tell her that you’re just running it past her to check she’s ok with you tagging along. Soften it by suggesting it would be nice to have a fellow adult to have a coffee and biscuits with. Make sure you take biscuits or cake! Enjoy. X
Go! Maybe you can make a new friend too!!!
I would contact the other parents and let them know I would be attending too, just so there’s an extra pair of eyes on the pool and the kids wouldn’t be alone in the water
It’s not rude at all. She is a mother and she should understand. Just let her know when she invites him again " I can come over with him of you dont mind) if she says that’s ok I can handle it , go with your gut and maybe just take him to a pool or buy one for him yourself. If something happens you’ll never forgive yourself. It’s our job to think the worst when it comes to our kids and most of the time thats what keeps them alive.
I wouldn’t let my kid go with out me so if I can’t go…
Do go with him. The mother should have said that. They won’t be able to watch all the children at the same time. If she says no dont let your child go a lone!
Go with him ,he is your under age son… he needs his mom.
My son is 7. I would definitely stay!
I would absolutely not send him alone. And if that mom has a problem with you staying there with your son, then that’s not okay. I honestly find it more rude that she didn’t invite you to stay with him. To me it’s common sense to invite a parent along with a child that young.
Safety takes precedent over any sort of proper etiquette. I would thank her for the invite and just say that you’re more comfortable being with him when he’s around a pool. She will probably be fine with it.
I wouldn’t send my child alone to anyone house that I barley know with her without a swimming pool. She’s a mother and she should understand.
Definitely voice your concerns and go with your son. Also you don’t know the other mom so you are being rightly cautious.
You’re doing the right thing. I wouldn’t let my 6 year old go alone anywhere.
Be honest with mum. Just explain your sons very excited but nervous been left alone at people houses yet. Does she mind if you tag along to help his nerves. This give you good excuse to go but not that your inviting yourself either
Go! Bring a fruit tray or something 
get to know her!
Heck yes you should go! This has actually happened to me! My son was invited to swim with one of his buddies and I was just brutally honest and said “water scares the crap out of me and I’m not very trusting of his swimming skills. Is it alright if I tag along? Otherwise I don’t think my anxiety would be okay letting him come” Mom was totally fine with it, we went and had a great time!
Yes because God forbid something happened to your son you’d never forgive yourself. It’s called a mother’s instinct and if she doesn’t want you to go then apologize and say he’s too scared to go alone. If she is a mother she should understand and if not then he doesn’t need to be around her anyway.
You don’t know the mom there is nothing wrong with that. I’d be honest and let her know. I’d say I’d feel more comfortable coming to the first couple of playdates with my son. I want to get to know you.
Me personally if I needed to use the bathroom I’d have all the children out of the pool and tell them they need to stand inside by the door for minute.its safer. So maybe she’s the same way. But I would definitely just be honest.
Oh God please don’t let your son go,please dont.Unless you go too.Hes only 6yrs old.Its your gut instinct as a Mama trying to warn you
Not rude at all and not paranoid at all.
Just tell her you’re not comfortable leaving him to swim because he can’t and you would like to be there when he’s in the pool. It’s that simple
For sure I would go too
Nope, I don’t let my kids swim with anyone. Only when I am around
Thats your baby… I would go!
U should definitely go, he’s your baby n the other kids are older, I’m sure the mum will be fine about u tagging along, follow your instincts x
I would definitely let her know and ask her if she would mind if you stayed due to you being uncomfortable with him not being a great swimmer. It’s your son but it’s her house. If she is a true caring mother, she will understand and say no problem at all. And if she says no, then your son doesn’t go. Simple.
If I were the mom I would feel so much better if you did come. Having to worry about your own kids plus someone else’s when you aren’t sure of their swimming skills would be stressful. I don’t think its rude at all
Go with your instincts mama, but I just wanna say that I’m that mom. My kids are excellent swimmers because we’ve always had a pool, but when my youngest has friends over, regardless of their ability to swim, I watch them like a hawk. I’m in the pool and keep eyes on them all the time. Because I would never, ever want to be responsible for something happening to that child.
I wouldn’t say to invite yourself over but explain the situation and ask if she minds you sticking around. If for some reason a very young child’s parent being there is an issue… I probably wouldn’t trust leaving your son there.
I would be super uncomfortable if someone told me I couldn’t stick around with my son to ensure he’s happy and safe. And if the roles were revered I would have no issue with a parent hanging out until they felt they could trust me.
I would stay at least the first few times until you can see how your son makes out in the pool. Kids can play rough in the water, and it sounds like it’s a very deep pool
He’s 6, if I invited your 6yo to my pool, especially the first time, if you DIDN’T make damn sure you were with him I’d have concerns about you! Trust your gut and go have some fun too!
It’s a red flag if she said no after your explanation
Yes go it’s your child and you would never forgive yourself if anything happened to your child. 
I would feel the same. X
I’ve been in this situation and ended up getting to know my neighbor with the pool from just being there when my son would swim I think it was just a given from the start that if he was swimming I was going to be there to watch she didn’t mind. It’s one of those universal feelings as a mom
Not rude" so never think that. You let the mom know your boundaries from the jump. Hey fyi" my son can’t go without me, he can’t swim & I don’t take any chances.
Your the parent sweetheart not them. How others parent is on them. But you definitely need to let people know your boundaries from the jump.
Go! Listen to you gut. And get your kid in swimming lessons!
Go, any mother that wants to go to make sure their kid is safe and doesnt know the other person very well…gives you the opportunity to get to know them. She should understand
I would def go, but a 6 year old should know how to swim, especially if you DO NOT have a pool. This keeps your kid safe.
Don’t let ur child go by himself. No one watches your child like u do
Definitely go. I never just drop off an leave. It seems nowadays mom’s entrust their children to strangers.
I never let my kid go with other parents alone unless they are family or close friends that I trust. Too many weirdos in the world! But I would think as a mom she’d be totally understanding if you came along and if she wasn’t ok with it that would raise some red flags for me. I would just explain your concerns and ask if she minds if you come along to keep an eye on him since he’s not a strong swimmer. Better safe than sorry!
Hell no. If my kid is swimming in your pool, I have every right to be there. Or just in general. If you invite my child, you also invited me.
Not rude at all. The safety of your child should always come first
I would just explain that if she didn’t mind you could make it like a play date kind of thing and you two could get to know each other too!
Well, if you don’t trust the mother or the son, why are you letting your son go over their house and go swimming?
I would let her know he is more than welcome to join as long as you are allowed to be there as well. No need to be rude about it but firm is a good thing. When your son was invited there should have been an invite extended to you as well. Either way, go with your gut. I personally would be attending or my son wouldn’t be going.
I would ask. " can I come to HELP watch, and take some photos too !"
Go, get to know your neighbor better. It’ll be a good thing. Enjoy all the “mom, watch what I can do”'s. Thats every kids favorite part of swimming anyways, having mom watch all their tricks.
Go as he is only 6 and he isn’t the best swimmer. Accidents happen. Just take a big snack/treat for everyone 
If my kid is invited, I’m invited too, I don’t trust anyone with my kids.