My daughter (6) is supposed to travel to her dads in Sydney to spend two weeks of school holidays with him, but given he works in a gym and his wife in a police station in one of the most recent named covid locations, is it unfair for me to keep her home for the 1st week, and reassess the community transmission and potential lockdown, and if Sydney improves send her for the 2nd week? Her dad feels I am unreasonable and selfish in keeping her home when we live 4 hours away from Sydney and do not wish to send her there for her own health and safety, especially when she will be coming home from Sydney to her 9month old baby sister.
What would you do if the sit6was reversed?
I think you should trust they are taking the necessary precautions to prevent her fro getting sick. Unless they have tested positive or have been around someone that has I would let her go
I’d say send her. There’s no reason to keep her from her father. This is happening everywhere in the world and all dad’s deserve to see their kids
You might want to call your local courthouse and find out what the rules in your state, or wherever your court order custody agreement is if you have one. because my sister tried to keep her daughter from going to her dads due to Covid, and they told her if she did that she was violating her custody agreement. she would end up going to jail
I think you have to trust the Father to keep his daughter’s safety a priority as he would in any situation. Unfortunately, this nasty disease is here and we all have to do our best; keeping a child from her Father isn’t the solution.
It’s pretty shitty to keep a child from the other parent. Send her.
Covid is every where. If she’s with you or him It doesn’t matter. Just make sure (which I’m sure everyone does) they wear masks and take precautions. There’s nothing you can really do unless you know they have Covid or been around someone whose had it in the past 14 days.
Seems off if you will send her for one week then why not both weeks. Your argument is off if you truly are worried you wouldn’t want to send her at all. Probably just want her home for another reason and if so then thats what you should tell him otherwise send her bc you would want to spend time with her if the tables were turned.
Covid is not a reason to keep your child from their father!!! Woman need to stop doing this, the only one you are hurting is that child. If the roles were reversed you would want to see your child.
You mean to tell me since all this started you haven’t left you house? Haven’t went to the store? Haven’t been to work or around someone who goes to work? She’s gonna be at risk no matter where she is unless you’re literally sitting in your house 24/7 for the last year. Send that child to see her father. I send mine to their dads house if you can’t trust him to keep his child safe, then odds are he doesn’t need her at all.
Where i am, you must follow the parenting plan unless the other parents house hold has covid. You cant just keep your child because your scared they may get it.
Imo ( mother of two adults) I feel if your truly worried abt her health and safety then you are within your mommy rights to error on the side of your child’s safety. I would hope her father would as well if situation was reversed. People need to stop any unnecessary moving around till this virus get handled. I would also hope that while keeping her from traveling you are also taking the same strict measures at your home as well . Everyone including parents need to keep the health of our kids and community at the forefront anything else is just selfish.
Here in the States, the consensus is that visitation schedules are still in place notwithstanding COVID.
Assuming they are good parents (dad & step-mom), you should trust that they have the best interests of the child in mind, same as you. Let her go to her dads and trust that he and step-mom are taking the proper precautions. If the situation was reversed, how would you feel if he said you couldn’t have her for your time with her?
Court order means court order. If you keep her from him you are violating a court order.
How would you feel if the tables were turned? Also think about the fact that if you were with the father still, she’d be getting exposed to him anyways. Besides that, if you have a court ordered custody agreement then you legally can’t withhold the child from him. Let her seen her father.
We as mothers can only be so protective of our kids to an extent. I hear and understand where you are coming from but however the only thing you can do is sit her down and let her know she needs to continue to wash her hands after touching the door handles or the handle on the toilet. Also use hand sanitizer/ wipes wear a mask when needed… Dont keep her from her dad bc that could lead to resentment from her onto you! As long as everyone is cautious and washing hand an sanitizing there isnt much more you can do.
Are they being careful? Would they take a test before she goes? Idk around here every location is a covid location and they would never visit the other parent if the area having covid was a factor. How are the courts handling visitation with covid?
This is ridiculous. Stop being selfish and let the father see his child dude. I highly doubt that you haven’t been to the store, gotten gas, went to work or been anywhere else for that matter. You have just as much of a risk as he does. Let them be together.
If there is a court order. Tou have to let her go.
Yes it is wrong to not send your child for a scheduled visit with their father. Period.
Send her for her scheduled visit to her dad. It is selfish to keep her home the first week. Only being honest. Let her go, she deserves to see her dad
My kids still go to their dads every weekend we all work in the medical field and my youngest is in daycare 5 days a week. If they get covid with him they will quarantine with him if they get it with me they will quarantine with me. I can’t just keep them away from dad and he can’t do the same. But of course do what you feel is right just talk to him about it
Do you have a court ordered parenting plan? If yes, you need to follow it.
Are you in NSW? If you are 4 hours away from Sydney? Your family is still at risk anyway if you are. And are either of you located near any of the hotspots?
We still go with our schedule, unless there is a person in the house hold with covid. Its everywhere, and parents still have to work. They shouldn’t be punished for something that isn’t their fault, or something that they can’t help. My opinion.
He still gets to be with his daughter. Do you not trust him to take proper precautions around his own daughter? How would you feel if the tables were turned? Covid or not him and his daughter deserve to be with each other
Unless he was exposed Covid is not a reason to keep a child from their parent.
You have to send her. If the position was reversed you would expect him to do so.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask what their doing in the home to minimize the risk. But I think anyone with shared parenting should be talking about. You could send hand sanitizer with her and ask that they use it when necessary and ensure she’s washing her hands after outings. But really that’s all you can do.
Her safety should come first
Wish people would stop using Covid as a reason for keeping a child and there other parent apart how would you feel if he was keeping her from you covid isn’t going anywhere and she is at just as much of a risk of catching it with you as with the dad
She needs to see her father. Just explain to the dad and his wife that you have concerns bc of the new baby. Ask them to be extra vigilant. They will understand. When she does come back home make a plan to keep her away from her sister for the required amount of quarantine time
Idk your location but in California if you do not abide by custody papers you will be found in contempt and can lose visitiation.do you go out in public do you work if so you’re no safer than him.
Talk to your child’s Doctor Who would have a medical perspective on the situation
Depends on the country’s laws. I would assume Sydney as in Australia. I would say yes, send her…unless she is severely high risk (which is doubtful given no mention of it) the what if is not a good enough reason to not allow the child to not see their parent. I highly doubt you have been in luck down this whole time. Anyone can catch it anywhere…
It has a 99% survival rate. It’s only a matter of time before we all catch it anyways.
Bet you still bring her in stores and stuff though. Or you still go places and then come back around her. Surely she doesn’t live in a bubble. She can get Covid anywhere anytime, being with you doesn’t make her immune. Yes you’re selfish and keeping her from him for a BS reason is wrong!! All you’re doing is hurting your child.
What if the boarders close. Will You get your child back?
I completely understand not wanting your kids to get covid. Especially the 9 month old . There’s video chats I get yess kids need to see their parents but the ex should understand and not want to risk his daughter getting covid I’d say it’s selfish on dad’s part
I think you both should do what’s best for your child. Covid is scary. I get where your coming from. It can wreak havoc on children too. You’ll make the best decision for your child.
As a fellow Aussie I can understand your concern. As we have barely any cases here, and Sydney is a hot spot, I would be concerned too. Have you thought about when she comes home and has to quarantine for 2 weeks? And the cost involved with that? It will have to be in a motel at your expense, and obviously an adult will have to be with her. I agree with you, I wouldn’t be sending her either. (I’m guessing the Americans have a different opinion because Covid is everywhere there, so yeah, in that case I would send her).
Will Dad pay for the quarantine and quarantine with her? Because you have a baby at home so you can’t
Sorry but unless child or a close family member is medically venerable then you should be sending you child to there dad idk what laws are in you country but here you would get youself in trouble with the courts for not sending her.
Court ordered??? Is this what he would do to you? Why are so many people so willing to hurt their children?? Selfish of you!!!
Covid doesn’t null and void your parenting agreement. Switch roles… howd you feel if he did this to you ? You still send her in flu season this should be no different. This virus isnt going to magically disappear.
I didn’t send my oldest to GA when the state was listed has a hot spot. He dad reluctantly agreed. Does it suck she can’t see her dad and step mom? Absolutely. But with both of them working in the public, and it being a hotspot I don’t at all blame you for wanting to keep your child safe. I did the same thing. Hopefully next year, but right now her health and well-being needs to be number one concern by both parties.
I divorced my children’s father because he was abusive, physically, verbally and emotionally. But I never once kept his children away from him. If they had ever told me that he was abusing them, things would have been different, but it didn’t happen. As they got older they formed their own opinions of him.
Given their careers, it seems these are people who dont take health or safety lighty. They are also likely very in the loop about precautionary measures…so, yeah.
Is covid really the reason??
Here in the US the courts have said that visitation continues as normal unless someone was exposed or is ill… I had a scare this summer…but the person tested negative…my 13 yr old is currently quarantined at her Grandmothers because they had people come from out of town (a hot spot in our state) and 5 days later got a positive test…I am livid.
No it’s not, and from experience of someone who was stupid enough to send her kids to visit out of guilt (kids caught the virus and now I’m the one suffering with them) I would strongly say if it’s not urgent try to not send your child.
Let the kid see her dad. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us…
Let the kid go. I would be heartbroken if my childs father told me i couldn’t see my kid in fear of covid. Covid is every where. Anyone can expose that child to covid.
I get you want to keep your children safe but he us also the parent and gets to make these decisions. If he feels he its safe then you either trust he won’t purposely get your child sick and let her be with her father. If the rolls were reversed and you were doing everything you could and just wanted to see your child but the other parent was fighting it. Just saying I get the fear but at the same time it isn’t fair for you to prevent a child from seeing their parent
Here in Michigan my bfs baby momma tried to withhold their son and he sent an email to the courts and they both got a letter in the mail stating if she didn’t provide make up time by xx date legal actions would be taken we had his son for 2 or 3 months straight because of it
Nope kids safety first - let them go when the virus is no longer a threat cannot take any chances these days
Atleast her dad wants to see her. Its opposite here. I’d like for my kids to go see their dad but he says no because of covid. It’s been since October. Covid is a poor excuse. Let her go.
In the states if you did this with a custody order you would be in contempt of court and likely have your time reduced. Let the dad see his kid!
I think you should let her go. Personally I think it’s selfish to not let her go, he’s just as much her parent as you are. I’m sure he has her best interest in mind and would not want her getting Covid and would do everything in his power to prevent it.
I don’t think so
They are in contact with a lot of people and you don’t want it bought home or infecting your daughter while she is there
I would let her go. It’s unfair to her and her dad to keep her from them.
What if you sent her and he felt the same way and didn’t want to send her back? That’d be fucked up wouldn’t it! let her see her dad Coronas not going away anytime soon
Yes you are being unreasonable! You wouldn’t be allowed to do that in the states for sure, you’d be held in contempt! That’s no reason to with hold a child from its father
Yeah it’s unreasonable. We aren’t talking about school or a recreational activity. It’s a bond with a parent.
If you let your child go to school, take them places and etc then i dont see any different than letting them go visit their dad. Its their other parent. Its not fair to your daughter or her father for you to be parent & he cant.
Covid is everywhere and just you going to the grocery store puts you and your kids at risk…sounds to me like your just being selfish. Let your child go to her dads house. Thats not fair to her or him. You would feel the same way as her dad if the roles were reversed
In the US this could get you put in jail. Here that’s considered a violation of court order and you can be arrested for contempt of court. But I am unsure how it works where you live. They take custody agreements seriously where I live.
Send her to her dad’s. I doubt you keep them home in a bubble. I’m sure you and/or your significant other work and run errands.
Check your laws. You might have no choice. But honestly I would talk with your ex and see if he’s okay with it.
Follow the court orders and communicate how you’re feeling and what route you all can take to reduce exposure. It’s not hard, I’m routinely tested and so is my ex, we make it work.
Moms are not more important than dads. This is bitter baby mom energy😅
unless you know that her father is going to risk her health, you have no justification in keeping her home. He is her father.
in the United States, you wouldn’t have a choice. You would very likely end up in a custody battle if you did this.
not agreeing with the way another parent does something is not justification in using your child to make them do things the way you want
believe me, I understand the fear. I’m not entirely confident that my daughter’s father takes responsible precautions.
but he is her father and I don’t have more rights than he does.
now if he was taking her to a super spreader event, then you would have justification. If he was blatantly ignoring any guidelines, then you would have justification
but being uncomfortable usually is not enough of a legal justification in most countries.
You don’t own her. She could get covid being with you as well. No one asked for this. Don’t be selfish. She deserves to be with her father.
She could catch it with you just as she could catch it with him let her go see her dad for his visit time
EVERY parent that has a custody agreement was told by the government that Covid doesn’t change that. And it’s technically withholding the child if you’re not going to follow the order… send your child to their fathers. It’s no more different than if you were to take them shopping near thousands of other strangers.
I would still let them go. No different than you taking her to the supermarket ect.
Just have a meeting with her dad and let him know you are stressing
If you buy a plane she will have to come back but no she will be safe
I haven’t restricted my son from any of his normal activities.
Just bc they live in a location where Covid is going on (I mean where isn’t it an issue at this point?!) doesn’t mean you should keep her. I have young ones as well and they still go to school with the risk of bringing it home to myself who is pregnant, their 2 year old sister or even their soon to be 1 yr old sister. Both dad and step mom know how to take precautions when it comes to that stuff (i.e washing hands, sanitizing, ect) and I’m sure their jobs are making sure they’re enforcing those rules. Iet the child go spend time with her father and if you’re that worried about it when she comes home, have her immediately strip down the clothes she comes back in so you can throw em in the wash and go put her in the shower and you’ll be fine. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t give an excuse to keep a child from their parent
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Send your child and knock this shit off. Covid is no reason to keep a child from their time with their other parent. I would hold your ass in contempt of a court order if there is one
Let your child see her father. Don’t be selfish. You can catch covid anywhere. She could catch it with you and take it to him. So what’s the difference??
I like to imagine if the roles were reversed and your child’s father was telling you that he would not be letting you see her during the scheduled time. How would you feel? My sons father lives I stayed away from me and we have not changed our visitation agreements for Covid even even once
Do what you feel is right . You know whats best and the guilt trips wont help you. If you feel she isnt safe and you are concerned for your whole households safety he should understand. But most people will not understand. You need to do you and your family. And if no one else can see where you come from who are they to judge you and your choices when it comes to your child? Dont worry about everyone else. Make a pros and cons list if you wanna. But do not feel bad for a decision made for the safety of your child. These days hard choices have to be made. Your household. Your risk. Your choice!
She could easily get it staying with you too. Just let her go.
What is up with these questions lately?? Just because it’s a pandemic doesn’t mean you can keep your children from the other parents. Every country has laws you have to follow.
How would you like them t o keep her from you?
Ask them what is their process of dealing with COVID and get on the same page. If he’s not being a dead beat, and he’s in her life, don’t be a dead beat mom.
Definitely an excuse by you not to have to share custody. Gonna bet you look for any reason. Probably not the first time either.
Yes, you would be wrong, for keeping your child from their dad.
What’s the difference of her being with you… the chance is just the same. So yes it is wrong.
I don’t think there is a wrong or right here it’s a matter of opinion. If she’s safe to go the 2nd week she’s safe to go now. That’s my opinion. Can’t stop a visit out of what may happen because anything might happen at any time.
People are turning this into a political issue not a health issue. I believe that you are completely in your right to keep her home. I would request a Covid test on each of them and then a three day test later just to be sure they should both be granted that by their work and she should be tested before coming back to you as well for the same reasons. It does go both ways I kept my 13-year-old home from her father on Christmas because he went to his mothers house who is known to have Covid, she is just returning to his home over the next couple days so long as he has a negative test ￼
Can we stop using covid as an excuse to keep your children from their other parent?
I understand if your kid has complications and is high risk or if you have someone living with you who is high risk or if you know the other parent has come in contact with it. But so many people are using it as a scapegoat.
I know where I live shared parenting time is considered essential travel. As long as your child’s father is being safe there I don’t see a reason for your child not to go see her father. Everyone needs to work to make money you can’t really hold that against them.
ITS ABOUT THE SPREAD NOT JUST OURSELVES. How many people come in contact with each of us who might be an asymptomatic carrier during these travels?
If she goes to school or if she goes to the store she could possibly bring it home. If you’re not stopping her from doing those things I definitely wouldn’t stop her from seeing her father
What does the court order say. You still have to follow it. Covid or no Covid.
Go with your gut. Your role is to keep your child safe first and foremost. You would never forgive yourself if your gut told you one thing and you went against it and something bad happened.
Is this Syndey, Australia? If so, this is coming from an American. She will be ok. You know how bad Covid is here. And, although we have lessened the amount of activities we do out of the house, my children (3 and 2) have still played in public places (indoor and outdoor) on numerous occasions, throughout the year. Just explain to her how to stay safe and let her go have a great time! Her Dad deserves to see her.
Your are selfish and horrible to do that. That should be enough for him to file a custody suit against you which you well deserve. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what is best for that little girl. Keeping her from her father is vile.
He is her father and has the right to have his child. And if there is a court order it still has to be followed.