Would it be wrong to move my step-kids rooms so my daughter can have her own?

I have 5 step kids who stay with us every other weekend and whenever else they want to, and 3 (almost 4) bio kids full time. It took a long time, but we have finally been able to give them all their own space. We have three upstairs bedrooms. One is for the two boys, one is for the older girls, and the largest room is split up for the four youngest girls. My eight-year-old bio daughter shares the big room with her sisters (all here full time, sisters are 3 and 4), and she has really been in need of her own room. They never leave her alone, and her bed is the only place she has away from them, but they are still right there pestering. I reeeeeally don’t want to take space from my step kids, I’d either have to move the boys (15 and 9) or the big girls (13 and 10) in with my little girls, and I’m just not sure it’s fair. My husband says it’s fine because “This isn’t their full-time house, and it is the eight-year old’s,” but to me, that would be acting like this isn’t equally their home, and I want them to feel like it is. Thoughts?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would it be wrong to move my step-kids rooms so my daughter can have her own?

Why don’t you join the 8 and 13 and 10 year olds room , that way she still has her own room majority of the time and is more in her age group when they are there

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Move the three oldest girls into the big room and put the two younger ones in the room your step daughters are in.

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I think you are doing a disservice to your own kids that have no where else to go and stare at empty rooms being used 4-6 days a month it sounds like.

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Why not ask all the kids to solve this - get them involved in the decision making process. The older girls might not mind sharing with the little ones if they are only with you for shorter periods of time. Kids are amazingly kind and creative when involved in the decision making process.

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Could you just put her in the room with the older set of girls

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Why not have the 13, 8, and 10 year old share a room, the 15 and 9 share a room, and then the 3 and 4 share a room?

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Move the kids and give your older one some peace

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Why nit put her in with the 10yo and 13yo?
She’ll have her iwn space majority of the time

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I don’t think it’s fair that one kid kids their own room while all the others have to share.

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I’d put her in with the 10 and 13 year old. That was she has her own space when they aren’t there…and they’re closer in age/interests when together

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Look on Pinterest, search ‘divided kids rooms’ or ‘shared kids rooms’. They have a ton of ideas. Maybe you can find a way to create her own space. Or to split the big room between the littles and the Bigs?

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Do it. Growing up and going to my dad and step moms house my sister and I shared a room. The kids that lived there got their own rooms because they were there 24/7. I didn’t mind. Give your kids their own room.

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I can’t offer advice but I just want to say from the view point of a stepdaughter, I love how thoughtful you are of all of them!! :pleading_face:

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Why can’t the 8year old share with the two step girls? She would have her own room for most of the time.i don’t think it’s fair they have to share with the little kids either because they aren’t going to like the littler kids getting into their stuff

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Put her in with 13 & 10 year old they’re not there full time anyways and it’ll still b their room when they come on the weekends.

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I’d let her have her own room, I don’t think it’s fair how that’s her full time home and she has to share with other kids who is barely even there

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You would either have to move her in with the older girls or get her own room some how. The boys do to their ages could not share a room with any of the girls. (atleast depending on where your at). Also if you have a basement you could remodel to give the kids more room.

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Move the 8 year old into the room with the older girls and keep the younger girls in the other room. Then the 8 year old will have her own space when the others are not there

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My first though, like many others, is to put her with the older girls. Let them share a room

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That would be wrong and you will make those kids feel so unwanted you can ask how they feel sharing with your daughter bit my step mom took my room and I never wanted to be there or felt welcomed.

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The older girls have their own room at their mom’s house. Your bio needs her own space. Its seems like you have given consideration to all but her.

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Put the 8yo in with the big girls. My youngest son (9) can not wait to move into the “big boys room” when he turns 10. They’re all my bio kids but the big boys have the basement family room sized room and the little ones have their own rooms currently. The plan is for the boys to have the basement and my daughter (the youngest) to have her own room and turn little man’s room into a craft room. Being a big kid is a status symbol in my house but the boys don’t mind sharing the space, I just get nervous bc the have access to the outside thru a walk out door.

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I think it would be shitty. Just put her with the older girls

The boys their age should not be sharing a room with a girl. I definitely understand the desire to move them all around though since the others are not there as much. Put her with the older girls since they aren’t there.

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If the shared room with the younger girls is large enough a wall could be added to divide the space…

Buy some rods. Attach them to the ceiling and use a shower curtain to block off areas of the room to separate it. My daughter did that at first with the two kids. Now she has blocked it off using plywood on the ceiling with wood panels. It cost approximately $40 to block off the room. Paint the boards whatever color to match the room. You can’t even tell it’s not professionally done.

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Put the 8 year old with the 0lder girls

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I agree with everyone saying put her in with the 10 and 13 year old. She’ll have her own room majority of the time and when the other 2 are there every other weekend it will be like having a sleepover.

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I think u should put 3 oldest gitls in the largest room, as 2 of them arent there full time, and put youngest two girls in their current room. That way, most of the time, the 8 year old would have here own space

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More than anything the 15 year old would need his own space

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This is awful. You have step children that have a room at their dad’s house and a room and their mom’s house and your daughter needs space from her younger siblings as she ages and you can’t figure out what to do. She gets the room where her step siblings come and use when they come and visit—- that should be her space. And they share it with her when they come and visit their dad.

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When step kids came over which wasn’t very often they slept in the living room with their dad I wasn’t kicking my son out of his room the 2 lil ones slept in my room plus I didn’t want them peeing in the beds

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I know it may seem unfair to the step kids but if they aren’t there full time, they truly don’t need their own rooms. I’m sure they have their own rooms at their full time house. Your daughter should have her own space in her home. Or possibly make it to where its her room when they aren’t there and let her share with the step kids when they come so everyone wins? She’ll have her own room 90% of the time versus never.

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You could move the big girls in with the 8 year old and have the 3 and four year old share a room. That way the 8 year old would practically have her own room until her sisters come over that I’m sure are less annoying

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She can share a room with the older 13 and 10 yr old girls who aren’t there full time and that way when they are there they aren’t pestering her like the little are. They really aren’t that much older than her. There’s more of an age difference between her and the littles and even if it was she’d still have more time to herself sharing with them

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I think I did this word problem in algebra in elementary school.

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I feel like the kids their full time need the privacy. The ones that live elsewhere full time probably have their own private space when away, your daughter does not. Put the 10 and 13 year old with the little girls (definitely not the boys), and give them the larger room and your daughter her own space.

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Why not move your oldest in with the other two older girls…that way she has her own space most of the time, and then only shares it with older kids some of the time. That might be the best solution

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id do it. there no at the house full time
fuck it :woman_shrugging:t2:

I think you should put 3 oldest girls in the largest room, as 2 of them aren’t there full time, and put the youngest two girls in their current room. That way, most of the time, the 8 year old would have her own space :smiling_face:

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I think you should put the littles in the smaller room and the 8 yr old and the bigger two girls in one room

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Why not move her into the room with the older girls

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I agree with everyone saying put her in with the 10 and 13 year old. She’ll have her own room when the time come because 10 and 13 are likely to be the same age too me

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The other girls have their own room At mom‘s house, why can’t yours have her own room, at her full-time house, seems like you’re looking out everyone else but your Daughter

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Put your eight year old in with the older girls. Especially if they’re not there all the time.

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Put the 3 older girls in same room and two younger ones on other room simple

Put the 8 year old in with the older girls

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Why don’t you put the 8 yr old with the 10 and 13 yr old. Much of the time she will be alone but when she shares it’ll be with girls closer to her age

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I’d move the 8 yr old in with the two older girls that are there part time. That way the 8 yr old had space to her self most of the time and im sure she’d be happy to share every other weekend with the older girls. Their closer to her age/ growing up stage then the younger ones

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So why can’t the 8 year old share a room with the 2 older girls?:thinking: Since they’re hardly there, she would have the room to herself most of the time. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I would move the 8 year old in with the older girls and the smaller girls have their own room

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Switch the 2 little girls into the big girls room. Move the 13/10 in the big room with the 8 yr old. So she shares space/ has time alone w/o preschoolers.
Put a baby gate across the big kids rooms to keep the littles out

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Move the two older girls in the room with her and give the 2 Littles the other room

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Why not move the littles to their own room and put your daughter with the big girls?? You could move the big girls to the bigger room and put the little ones in the smaller room.

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Could your bio daughter share a room with the 10 and 13yr old step daughters that way she has her own space and only shares when they are there plus they are older and won’t be as annoying as such as you get siblings are

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putting an 8 year old with a 10 and 13 year old is not a good idea either , age gap, ect but if the older 2 are hardly there then i guess is fine

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My son doesn’t have a room at his father’s house to himself and I’d never expect that of them. I have him pretty much all of the time unless they’re able. Asking them to make sure they keep an empty room just for my child feels wrong id feel its taking away from your child too and your absolutely right she deserves her own space

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I agree with the husband.

Yea move the 10, 13 and 8 year old into the larger split room and the 3 and 4 year old into the smaller room.

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Move the 8 yr in with the older girls. She would have her own space when they aren’t there and she’s closer to their age and interests then the 3 and 4 yr old girls.

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Put the 2 little girls in the big girls room n give the 3 older girls the big room she will have the room to herself most of the time n they won’t be to crowded when all 3 are in there

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I would put the three oldest together. They are closer in age then her and the youngest. Edited to add… the two oldest girls aren’t there but just in the weekends and special occasions. Maybe for the older girls you could find a locking knight stand or armoire that locks so the can feel they also have a sense of privacy.

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Ummmm don’t move the boys into a toddler girls room

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Give the 8 year old her own room and the part timers will deal with it! They have their own room!!!

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Put the 13, 10 and 8 year old in the same room. That way the 8 year old has her own space for the most part.

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Put the little girls in the smaller room and put the 3 older girls in the bigger room so she has her own space most of the time

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Why not move your 8 old in with the older 2 stepsisters. If they’re not there all the time it would be like she has her own room most of the time and she wouldn’t be in the room with the little ones.

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I feel like you said it all in your post. She needs her own space. Older kids I feel isn’t a good idea either I feel she is stuck in the middle. Older kids usually pick on younger ones. You know the right choice for your child. Go with it.

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The fact that you are even worried about this shows your a considerate kind mum. No advice, just good luck.

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I’d put the 3 older ones together & the little ones alone. Or else the little ones will be all up on the 13 & 10 year old.

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I would put the older girls in the bigger room

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Why can’t you just let the 8 year old sleep / escape to the girls room during the time they aren’t there ?

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Here is my opinion… which you asked for . I always get ripped for saying this but here goes

I have four kids. I live in a four bedroom apartment. My kids each have a room. I sleep on recliner in living room. My clothes are in closet in living room. When you become a parent. YOU SACRIFICE things for your kids.

If it means that much to you for her to have her own room… give up yours…

It’s not fair for her to be the only kid with her own room. If the larger room is big just put up a decoder a
To make it seem like her own…

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I have 4 kids at one point we have 5 people in a one bedroom apartment (my self 3 boys and a girl) then we moved in with my wife and had grandma and 4 kids in one room. My 2 older boys (20 & 18 now) never had their own room till they moved out. The 2 youngest now have their own room they are boy 14 and girl 13. I was a single mom for 11 years so ya kids don’t need their own rooms just own space to get away

Move the 8 year old in with the older girls. She will have her own room part time, and share it when the step-sisters come, but she will still have her space away from the younger kids.

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I agree with your husband. I was a child of divorce, and spent 2 nights a week at my Dad’s. I couldn’t have cared less whether or not I had my own room or anything of that nature. When my younger brother was born, my bedroom was moved so he could have it. I was 9 and it did not phase me at all. That was my house 2 days a week, but it was his every day. He spent way more time there than I ever did.

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Ask the oldest 2 about sharing a room with the 8 yr old!

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Why would your 8 year old and ONLY YOUR 8 year old need their own room when NONE of the others have one to themselves?

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I’m with your Husband :person_shrugging:

I feel like I’m missing a kid somewhere.
5 step kids
2 older girls (13,10)
2 boys (15,9)
??
3 bio kids
All girls 8,4,3

Said 4 youngest girls:
Young step daughter?

Or the baby on the way?
Is the upcoming bundle a girl or boy?

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So I’ve heard lots of people talking about where to move it, however I’ve not heard suggestions asking the older girls what they think of maybe sharing spaces. I’d have a family sit down and see how everyone feels ( older children) and see if a solution doesn’t present itself. By including them in the process they will feel like they have a say.

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I agree with the husband. It’s not their house full time

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The rooms are big enough you can always put up a wall my father did that with me and my one older brother when we got older split them up if you can

I think you should move the 8yr old in with the 2 older daughters & have them in the biggest room.
So the 3&4yr old girls will have the older daughters old room.

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Imo the oldest ones need their own space. Youngest ones should be good together.

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Id switch the 2 step girls to the big room with the 8 year old and put the littles where the step girls were… then the three oldest girls share the biggest room and realistically that means the eight-year-old will have it alone sometimes and share with her big sisters the rest of the time

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I would move the 2 older girls with her at the larger room and the 2 younger girls together alone in one room

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I agree with your husband it is perfectly fine to do

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Put the 8 year old with the 2 older girls so she has her own space when they aren’t over

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I Agree with the husband. I have 3 boys of my own and a stepdaughter who is rarely ever here. The 2 older boys have their own rooms. And my youngest boy sleeps with me still. My oldest has a bunk bed and when she’s here she sleeps on the bottom.

I would put the little girls with the big girls

Give her her own room.

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Move the 3 oldest girls into largest room and put the two younger girls in the big girls current room.

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Definitely put the 8 yr old in with the older girls

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Im a little confused here. You said 4 full time girls share a room ages 3,4,8. Is there a set of twins? Husband had 5 part time kids girls ages 10,13 & boys ages 9&15. Where’s the 5th child?

I understand where you’re coming from. You want them to feel that it’s their home too. The reality though is that it’s only their home 4 nights a month. You have 2 rooms that aren’t really being used while 3 or 4 girls are using 1 room. That doesn’t seem fair to your full time girls, especially your 8yo. Your home is their only home. They have to share it with kids that don’t even exist most of the time.

I would put the 8yo with the 10&13 yos so she has a room to herself for the most part & is basically has sleep overs with sisters closer in age 4 nights a month. You can do it really cute with a daybed with a trundle or a bunk bed with a futon for the older girls. That way she can have a couch when they aren’t there & extra room for her friends to sleep over. Or you can put all the part time kids in the same room. They’re siblings, they can share a room 4 nights a month. Put hooks up on the ceiling & hang a curtain rod to seperate the genders if you wish.

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Mabey you can consider a batch/sleepout in ya backyard for the eldest

Moving the boys in with the younger girls would not be an option. With that many kids, why would one child have their own room, while all other share? If the older two girls are only there every other weekend, that is literally 4 nights a month, I would have them share a room with the 8 year old. 26 nights a month, the 8 year will have her own room.

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Do what is practical. The step kids having 1+ rooms between two residences and a child having .5 isn’t really equal at all. Chat with them and have them be a part of the process.

Also, i wouldn’t put the boys with the little girls.

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