So my son’s 1st birthday is coming up. I’ve been planning. And his father doesn’t wanna help with anything. I have to pay for the location, food, decorations, cake, gifts everything on my own. Is it wrong to not invite his father?
My oldest sons bday went the same way. Inviting his dad was never an option! He didn’t wanna be involved then he’s not invited!!
Nope not wrong at all. It is both parents job to pay and help for a child’s birthday. He can celebrate on his own
I would say no he can always throw his own…
Not at all you’re party you invite who you want
Invite. Because you are the bigger person and kids watch examples. He’s shitty for not helping though. But you aren’t together so technically he can have a party on his own time with his own money. What you spend on your time is your choice. Maybe one day he’ll grow up and y’all can celebrate together pitching in equally
It’s his first bday invite him. If he doesn’t come then that’s on him.
He’s still his dad, just cause he doesn’t want to help you pay for a party doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be there. (Hate me all you want)
I feel like it’s kinda petty to not invite him to his own kid’s first birthday party just cause he isn’t paying for anything.
Yep, it’s wrong. He made the child too. He’s no different than you. You may be more financially stable than him at the moment. Also, there’s no price tag for a relationship. He needs his daddy.
Sounds like you’re making it about you and not the kid. Invite and the dad and buckle up cuz it sounds like he isn’t going to contribute ever.
I would invite him. Our children should have a opportunity to have their parents be apart of special things in their life.
I mean if you’re the one who wants to throw the party then you should be the one to pay for it. Maybe he has different plans for his son. Do you tell other people you invite like Gramma or Gramps to pitch in also?
Invite him. Regardless of who pays for what… At least at the end of the day, if you were to invite him, then you did the right thing for your son…what he does with that invite is on him…BUT years down the road your son will see that you did everything you could to make his father apart of everything… That’s what parenting is all about. WHAT IS BEST FOR THE KID(S.)
I paid for everything for my daughters first birthday and I still invited her dad. It’s still his child too. Doesn’t matter if he didn’t buy anything. The child doesn’t know what’s going on but deserves to have both parents if possible.
He came to my sons first birthday party but since then I havent invited my sons dad and I found out he didn’t give him a birthday party during his visitation weekend right after his birthday recently and it broke my sons heart.
If you’re not together, I would just have hour own party and he can have his if he wants. I know a lot of split couples who do separate.
Don’t invite him he’s a selfish ass dude . I wouldn’t
The child is turning one
Not like he’s going to remember. If you are not together anymore than no need to invite him
It’s not about your son’s dad it’s about your son. Is he mean to him, does he spend time with him those things are more important than money. Men either grow up or they don’t but regardless your child will want to love you both.
I can see where most of these comments are coming from about him being his dad and he should still be there but it seems like his dad really doesn’t care about his first birthday party or we don’t know what’s going on deeper than the situation but from what I can see if he’s not interested in helping make his little boys first birthday party awesome then why should he even be involved at all and that’s just how I feel
do as you want. if he doesn’t want to help with anything then there’s no reason he should have to be there. your son is only one he won’t know the difference.
Nope. He can have his own party, or not.
Does he want to be involved in his child’s life? If your answer is yes then I would invite him. Now if he is a toxic asshole… then no.
He’s one the party is about you son won’t remember or care save the have something private/intimate with just you and son party when he’s older 3+
Did anyone else you’re inviting pitch in?
The question you should be asking is if your son would want his father there. It’s not about you, it’s about your son. No matter how you view it your ex is always family because you have your son.
Let him have his own party separate from yours.
Don’t invite him
Yes, do you think your son cares if his dad didn’t pay for it? Your personal feelings are gonna affect your baby having a dad if you don’t start thinking of him before yourself
I would invite him but I’d make sure to have a friend or two mention good and loud how Awsome you are for covering the whole party! I’m a little petty that way. Lol
I invited and he didn’t show and has never paid for anything and as much as you want to be that person you can’t be for the sake of the baby. It REALLY sucks. I don’t need the help but the help wouldn’t go unnoticed. He is in her life as much as he chooses to be. Just don’t be the parent that always sees the other in the wrong or as unequal even when there really are less. For the sake of the future when your child questions why.
Very petty! Invite him damn, plenty of times I was in this situation. It’s not about money or your issues with each other, it’s about your kids. Unless you want to explain to your kids when they’re older that their father, he didn’t get to spend their first birthday with them because the party wasn’t 50/50.
Nope. I never invited them
Dont be bitter. Be better. For your son. Invite him.
It’s your child’s memories/ pictures etc
Your not doing this for his dad, your doing it for your son!
Send him a invite and let it go.
Yes. It isn’t about his father, you, or what was paid for by who…it’s about that boy !!! If you need help financially then apply for child support but leave that out of the pettiness and stop using your child’s special moments as pawns for cash.
People may say “well it’s his baby too” Like of course it is that’s why he should contribute rather than sitting around waiting for an invite. I wouldn’t even bother because he can throw his own party for him since he doesn’t want to help
Everyone saying she is pretty and that it is “his child too”…COME ON NOW!! HE needs to stop being petty and start helping the mother of his child throw a decent 1st birthday for thier son!! If he doesn’t want to help, he can throw one of his own. If he doesn’t care enough to pitch in and HELP HIS CHILD then what makes you crazies think he wants to even be there in the first place? You are justified in not inviting him and it is NOT petty. It’s called being strong and independant. Do not let people walk all over you. Good luck!
Its entirely up to you. However, sometimes you have to be the bigger parent and set aside the way you feel towards the other parent for the sake of the child. It’s kind of messed up that you are paying for everything, but your son deserves his father no matter how financially unavailable he is. In my opinion. Maybe it would be better to make the baby’s favorite meal and a small cake and ice cream. Invite him to that. Good luck
If your child having his father in his life is LESS important then you having things bought and paid for or help with then your asking for your son to grow up and RESENT you… tread carefully dont be bitter be the bigger person your son will grow to see how and who his father is and make his own choices
It’s wrong that he didn’t want to help but your son won’t forgive you for not inviting his dad
It’s not your kid’s fault you bred with a deadbeat…
Nope don’t know what your relationship is like, but oh well. If he doesn’t want to help he can throw his own party
Kids don’t care who paid for what or bought what toy they care about who was there for them no matter what. Invite dad that way the ball is in his court and if he doesn’t show up then it’s his fault not yours. But don’t be petty and not invite him just because hes not helping pay for anything.
Yes. Your son will remember (or look at pictures) his birthday. Keep adult issues between adults and come together for your son.
If you aren’t co-parenting, then no. Do not invite him. If he pays for child support and you decided to throw a birthday party that he didn’t agree on then that’s different and he should be invited as a kindness. Keep it as simple as possible. If he isn’t paying he isn’t a co host he is a GUEST
I would say invite him… I mean I know he isn’t helping at all… but don’t rob ur son of having both parents at his first bday party… If he doesn’t show up that’s on him not u. Give ur baby the best bday possible with or without him paying. U won’t be to blame if he isn’t ever there… That will all be on him.
For your son, yes invite him so he has both of his parents there, don’t be that spiteful selfish parent.
Of course no matter what you will always have the knowledge he done sweet eff all.
If you invite him then he cant say that you are trying not include him. If he doesn’t come then that isn’t on you. Rise above the hate and show your son that you are doing right by him
He can have his own party on his time
Yes beause this sit your relations for the rest of your sons. Life. The father know what he soing but his son wont ive watch father say your mom would let me so i say dont let him have a hammer to hit you with later
I would invite him for your son, he would probably want him there and that’s all that matters.
1 year old…baby won’t remember. Dad doesn’t want to contribute…not even $1.00.
Why WOULD you invite him? Let him do what he wants for his sons bday. That’s on him. If he doesn’t “owe” for this party then you don’t “owe” him anything either.
Have fun with your friends and family.
But by all means, let him have some time with his son to celebrate on his own.
I don’t have enough information to give proper advice.
Is this how he always acts? Is he not involved in his life? Do you have to force him to spend time with his kid?
Or is he just not into throwing a 1 yo a big party? Or into birthdays in general?
If he’s not regularly involved - then no, fuck him
If he is & it’s about the party - just invite him
Nope. Nothing wrong with it if you’re doing everything for it
Truly think the best interest of your child is for the dad to be involved in the child’s life. Some times it’s hard and I know myself I bit my tongue a lot. The most important lunch please don’t put your child in the middle of any arguments
From a single mom who raised 4 children without child support or any help at all from their dad let me share… always be the bigger person. I invited my ex to every single event big or small for my children. I took them to him and picked them up after visitation when he wanted them. I kept him informed of any and all health issues and made sure he was included in any decisions that had to do with the kids. He made me angry on several occasions but I bit my tongue and took the high road. When our daughter got married all she wanted was her dad to walk her down the isle. His first excuse was he owed child support and I would put him in jail so I went to the court house and signed off on all back and future support. His next excuse was he couldn’t take off work because he wouldn’t be able to pay his light bill so I paid the bill for him. His final excuse was he didn’t have a vehicle that would make the trip so I offered to pick him up and drive him… in the end he did not walk our daughter down the isle nor did he even show up to her wedding. Even though all of that ultimately my children know 100% I NEVER kept them from him and I did everything I could to make sure they had a relationship with their father no matter what. My children respect me more for that than anything else. Point is you should always put your children first and put your personal feelings about himaside.
I would invite him still… that’s just me. Who cares if I pay everything. I would still like him to atleast attend. put his ass to shame #brokeass
Did you ask him to help? Did you tell him your plans before you starting planning it & he didn’t agree? or did he agree it’s a good idea about the party then back out?
Some people don’t think you need big parties for 1 yr olds & its a waste of money.
Let him know if he didn’t want to help plan or pay chances are he won’t even show.
It was your choice to throw the party, so it’s your obligation to pay and plan for it. Invite him or not, but not because he’s not paying/planning it with you.
Invite him. Be the good mom. If he bails then that will reflect on him
Know if you guys were separated he can have his own birthday party for your child separately
At the end of the day its what makes u feel comfortable with n what is the best interst in ur son
It was a similar situation for me growing up with my parents. People will say your son will resent you when he’s older but once I was older and understood the reasons behind everything I knew why things were the way they were. It is your choice if you want to be “the bigger person” but it is your party that you are throwing
Aside from not pay for a birthday party, has he been there otherwise?
That’s fucking rude he is the childs parent also.
I hate ABSOLUTLY HAYE my sons dad and his gf I have full custody and they have supervised visits but i still invited them and they still came ITS ABOUT THE CHILD.
you are selfish and rude asf think of your kid you are making no effort for.
If he bails that’s on him not you, atleast you tried.
Dont ruin it for everyone and make you out to be the bad person.
Quick question?.. would you not invite your guest for not helping? Your family? It’s the same. He should be invited, whether he shows or not is on him.
Invite him. He can see what a great job youre doing
Nope. I’d still invite him though.
Your son deserves to have his dad there at his birthday party. Put aside the pain ECT aside for the day. Cause one day the father might not be alive
At that age, your baby won’t know if he is there or not. And if it’s going to stress you out having him there, don’t have him there.
Don’t be petty and think about your child.
Nope. If he wants to attend he can contribute. Not contributing or wanting to help says he doesn’t give a fuck.
Invite him for your son. Be the bigger person.
I think u shouldn’t invite the father and if he gets posses so be it tell him chip in or don’t come
My daughters dad didn’t contribute to her first birthday party but I still invited him because he is still her family I also invited his entire family (sisters, mum, grandparents, cousins, aunt, his son from previous relationship and his sons mother )
Is he doing a separate party?
You son is turning 1 therefore you can’t have been separated for more than 20 month max emotions from your post r still pretty raw if you can both be adults/parents to this little boy both be there over the next 17(legal)+ years you have to co-parent sometimes you will be the giver sometimes dad will be the giver. For his 1st birthday love ur son more than u hate his father you might find a way to be a family( separated or together) or even friends down the track. Time will tell and what you choose will have an impact. Either way make a choice and enjoy the day 1 happy parent is better than 2 feuding parents.
Happy birthday little man🍭
Yes!! Be the bigger person
I can see why you’re upset BUT this is your child’s first birthday party and you can never take that day back and may regret not inviting him later on down the road if you two learn to co parent better or when your child asks you why daddy wasn’t in any pictures of his first birthday party. Ultimately it’s up to you though.
My hubs and I threw my son (from my first marriage) a birthday party every year. Dad never paid a dime.
We would ALWAYS invite my sons Dad. He’d try to go and sometimes be late cause of work or the bus was running late. He’s get there and we’d tell him we were happy he could make it.
And sometimes, especially in the beginning he couldn’t make it. For whatever reason. I never held it against him. Nor did I allow my son to either. Life happens or maybe he was too uncomfortable.
But everyone is different and from day one I wanted to have a good coparenting relationship. I did what I had to do and if Dad didn’t comply or go along than it was on Dad.
Yes! It’s not about you. And it’s not about what he does or doesn’t do. Don’t ruin your sons relationship with his father just because he’s not helping financially with a birthday party.
Nope he can have his own party if he’s not being involved in any thing best to have a fun birthday party without him being a brat
Yes you should invite him. He might not even come. Unless he’s abusive, this is no longer about you. You won’t get what I’m saying until your son gets older. You don’t ever want to hear your son ask, why did you keep my daddy away from me.
Don’t be that mother that makes her kid cry because daddy isn’t at the part because MOMMY is mad at him. Yea that’s completely wrong.
Invite him, be cool to look back with your son when hes older and his father being there.
If it important to him to celebrate her birthday he could throw his own party for her if he isn’t making life easy for you then why should you for him
Raise your child with respect morals values and principals invites him if he turns up then so be it you both created your child you may not get along anymore but can share these important moments
Nope. Not wrong at all
Its one thing in Many many years of having to share…so invite him.
It’s not really about you or him. It’s about your child. Ask yourself if your child deserve to have both parents there. Also ask yourself how are you going to justify to your child in the future if they ask why their dad wasn’t there. Put the petty aside and invite him. Let him be the reason if he is or isn’t there.
Aren’t you over doing the 1 year old birthday party. If dad is not interested not much you can do.
The baby won’t remember any of it so it’s up to you on if you want to deal with him. It’s not uncommon for parents to throw separate parties but it would be good if y’all could get along for things like this for the sake of your son as he grows
My daughter’s 3rd birthday party is next weekend and I am inviting her dad. He is not paying for anything because I am the one that wants to throw her a party. He will be over early though to help set up though. I just want to make the day special for my daughter by having everyone she loves there.
Cut the drama n drop him. He can have his own party for his son until he father’s up n co parent.
Ladies…there is a difference between “being the bigger person” and “being walked all over”. If he is not willing to pitch in or even buy his baby a present…then it sounds like he really wouldn’t care all too much about not being invited. And if he does get butthurt, he can throw one with his family! What kid Wouldn’t want 2 parties?! If he doesn’t get butthurt and just doesn’t care…why should she go out of her way to accommodate him? Let the DAD decide how much he will be in his sons life and STOP making it the mom’s responsibility to make sure everyone “important” stays in the child’s life Ontop of everything else she has to do!
He wont remember it either way but be the bigger person maybe he will feel guilty.
Nope don’t invite him. I’d ask him if he wants to pick him up after our party to celebrate with his family and leave it up to dad.