Nope. Sorry, you don’t want to be involved with my kids life except to show up…fuck outta here. If he wants to celebrate he can plan his own party. With that being said I would put the invite out there to him…buttttttt I’m glad I didn’t have kids with that kinda asshole. May be why I waited until I was 31…🤷
Helped make the kid, he should help pay for the party. Idc how other people look at it but why should he enjoy something u went the extra mile to make. I havnt really done a big bday party for my daughter yet but now that shes in school and has friends she wants to invite im gonna do something. Her bdays in February and i dont have a big house so im going to have to find a place for her celebration and ask her dad to chip in. If he can’t i wont even bother inviting him, he can celebrate it on his own time with his own money.
Hell no! His ass can stay home
Yes. The party is about your child not you. Should he help, yes. But when your child grows up and looks at pictures of their birthday and doesnt see him there they are gonna ask why. You dont want it to be because you didnt invite him. Put the needs of the child first and invite him. The child cant help the way their father is, or who he is. But they deserve to know him and have him in their life. He is no more or less important to the child than you are, and vice versa.
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I mean is a birthday party that a child isn’t old enough to know is happening worth alienating the father… like maybe he thinks his money would be better spent on life things the baby needs and not a party.
It’s not about you. That’s his father.
Invite him. If he doesn’t show it’s on him.
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I used to invite my son’s bio dad. If he didn’t show that was on him. I did my part. Now he has absolutely nothing to do with him so I don’t bother. 12 years in the making.
He probably doesn’t care anyway.
If they want to be there, be apart of it, and contribute to their up bringing , they will always find a way… i wouldnt waste my time
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My daughter’s father wasn’t at any of her birthday parties or birthdays for that matter, not my choice 
. But this is entirely your decision at this point.
Nup, if he can’t be bothered being involved or contributing to the plans, leave him out.
Invite him for child…
Invite him. Don’t be selfish. If he doesn’t come that’s on him. But at least send an invitation
Don’t invite him sounds like a dead beat
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I get the frustration but yes it would be wrong not to invite the father. A child will see a parent’s true colors. And you don’t want him to be upset with you for not inviting his father. Otherwise he will think it’s you. Invite dad whether he pays or not. Or shows up or not. The hurt on the baby will show but he will know that mama gave daddy a chance.
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Invite him. He might not even show up. But at least you tried. And in the long run if you ever decide to go for full custody that will help your case
U should still invite him, simply bc he is dad. U don’t want to not encourage a relationship between them.
Nope. Once you split/divorce usually every thing gets split. The holidays… birthdays that’s why the court alternates holidays… summer vacation …
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Not your job to make his father is in his child’s life. He can celebrate on his own and you can do the same
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Be the bigger person and invite him. Show him what a great job you can do without him.
Selfish reasons will make your son hate you. Remember even though you dont see it. Your child does watch how you handle situations. But I guess it depends where your priority are. Your money or your child’s mental well being. Your choice.
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You guys chill. The kid is one, he wont remember. Fudge the dad. You got this mama all on your own. You enjoy it all on your own. Congratulations sending mama love your way
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Invite but give him a later time so everything is already set up and you and family/friends did it. That way he isn’t excluded if he chooses to show up.
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You were okay with him enough to have sex with him… you need to be okay with him enough to allow him to be around his son.
I would invite him and take lots of pictures. Your son won’t remember whose there now but giving him pictures that show that everyone was there who loves him (no matter what was going on at the time) will fill his heart in the future. Always take the high road for your babies.
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Turn the other cheek ,if it will make your child happy ,swallow your pride !
The baby’s one it will never remember if father was there or not. You might but the baby won’t
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Does he help with other things your son NEEDS? If so, then you can’t be mad at that he didn’t help with the birthday. Even if he doesn’t and still isnt helping with the birthday, you chose to throw him a party. Yes you should invite his father, not for you but for your son.
My kids dad just got out of the mental health ward 3 days before our eldest first birthday and he was there
yes it’s wrong. that’s still his child
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Are you guys together? If not, NO. he can celebrate his bday on his own. I dont invite my ex or his family (minus the grandparents) to the bday parties i throw. He can have his own. Thats how it was when i was younger. My dad would have his own celebration with his own family.
Remember, it is about what is best for your child. You need to separate your feelings toward his dad and the relationship between him and his dad. Invite him, but ultimately it will be up to him to show up.
I always payed for partys etc. I still invited his father as I didnt take my own feeling out on my son.
No if he wants a party for him he can throw his own don’t let him ruin what you did
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It’s not about you and what you do…what you do is not for you. It’s for that little boy. Invite him.
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I always did. I always invited my step daughters inactive mom also. It’s about the children and believe me they see who does what.
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Invite him if you want to. If not, let him just throw his own party.
Stop being selfish. That’s his father. It’s about the child, not you or your feelings toward his father.
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I had to do everything myself for my sons’ 1st birthday. At the end of the day it’s my sons 1st birthday which is a big milestone so his Dad was there and I didn’t make a fuss about having to do it myself because it’s a day to celebrate my son.
Well if he has the child regular he can have his own party for him with friends ,my grandson goes to his dad every weekend so has the best of both doing everything twice but not just with mum & Dad together.
Jesus Christ. It’s not about who forked out for what, a dick he is yeah but don’t make him miss out. This day is for your son, not who spends the most wins 
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Are you married its still the childs father
nagawa mo na ang dapat gawin. pinaalammo na sa ama ang iyong plano at ayaw niyang tumulong. palagay ko di na mahalaga ang imbitahin pa siya dahil alamniya ang plano mo. dumalo siya kung gusto niya, wag mo siyang pigilan, yun ay kung makapal ang mukha niya.
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Men hate party planning but he should be helping you with some of the cost if he can afford it. And Yes, he should be at his childs first birthday party and it would be nice if you could both put away your differences for the occasion and have a family photo taken together.
As mothers, the greatest disservice we can do for our children is to alienate their other parent. Regardless of feelings, emotions, or finances. It’s your child’s birthday. You don’t have to invite him to your birthday 
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He’s one. He doesn’t know. I wouldn’t invite him.
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Dont know why u would have a party for a 1 year old. That’s pretty much just a party for the adults and older kids. If u dont want dad there dont invite him. But I do think u should make your son available at some point on his birthday for him to spend some time with his dad too. The time with you both is more important than who did or didn’t do something for the party.
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My son was 4 when his dad left my place. He is now 7.
Yesterday was our son’s parent teacher consult. We both went. We both looked at his work and we arranged to bump into each other this morning potentially.
Dec 11th is his school Christmas assembly. We’ll meet in the queue, sit together and watch it together
The past two years he has bought our son to mine after pizza and cake at his grandmother’s Christmas eve (also her birthday) we will spend Christmas morning with him just the three of us.
He bought him over the last three years to mine the night before our son’s birthday and when he woke up we were both here, we took him to school together, picked him up after and when he went to sleep we were both still here. He had two birthday parties this year and last with friends from school which include his cousin’s on his dad’s side (his ones on mine are much older)
We set any differences aside on occasions like this. Call a truce.
I would invite his dad whether he paid or not. Adults opinions should never be for children’s ears.
I don’t share mine with our 7yo. To my knowledge he doesn’t much either.
If he says no then you tried to be an adult about things. You can prove you asked but dad wasn’t interested. You can justify and know you did all you could.
If he is no risk/danger and there is no issues with addiction etc then let it be.
Pick your battles.
Btw ex and I remain amicable for his sake. Neither of our families feel we should share any time with him together and him and I can argue about lots of things. But a truce gets called so our son never feels like he has to choose between us. And neither of us miss out then either
I actually think my heart would break if this was the case. We manage to make nice with each other.
It may well be because our son was 4 when we split but because he was used to us being together on certain occasions we decided to continue that for him.
It’s totally your decision at the end of the day but I know even if your ex doesn’t come when your child looks back you know you gave him the opportunity. You tried to remain neutral and amicable
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What is best for the child?
Kind of depends on the situation I guess. I wasn’t invited to my daughters 1st birthday because my ex and i split 3 months before that(I cheated). It hurt but I wouldn’t have felt comfortable around his family anyways.
If no one cheated or did anything really bad then there’s no reason to not invite him other than selfishness.
Did the other guests you invited pitch in on the party? I didnt know you had to pay to be invited to a birthday party 
If he was decent at all like mine, he’s probably forgotten and turn up three weeks later to make up for it 
Yes 100% you should invite him.
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Make the effort. Do the work. Invite him. And like the rest of us who put our best foot forward for our kids at all times, just hope that he sees the work you put in and steps up to do the same 🤷 Be the bigger person for your baby. He will thank you later
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Why are you spending so much etc. for a birthday the baby won’t remember and won’t enjoy? He will be tired and not like all the people and nose. You will be disappointed and worn out. Tone it down and invite the father for a family party with parents , grandparents and a couple of little ones. You will thank me
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Be the bigger person always when your child is involved.
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No he is his father and even tho you don’t want him baby might. You be the nice person it will make him feel good
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As you mentioned the dad hasn’t put any input into the party, to me he doesn’t sound interested. Invite him if he shows up then he shows up if he don’t then that’s his loss x
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Yes, I know how you feel about it but you need to be on his good side for now. could any of his family help
If he’s refused to pay on the birthday, he’s obviously aware of the party and can attend whether he’s invited or not!
Your child deserves to have both parents. The absolute worst thing you can do is alienate him. Invite him, it doesn’t mean you have to talk to him or be more than civil but think how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you weren’t seeing your son on his birthday
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Honestly he should be there for his son’s 1st birthday even if your son doesn’t remember his 1st birthday you and his dad will
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You sound incredibly bitter. Invite him, he’s Dad. If Dad doesn’t show up? Well that’s on Dad. This isn’t about you! Its never was about you! Its about your child. What is best for that child, who’s birthday it is.
You need to grow up some.
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They’re not going to remember any of it and for future parties they’re not going to remember the amount of money you spent. They are only going to remember small moments of who was there and the fun they had. My vote is to invite him. It would be better for the child.
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When it comes down to it…an elaborate first birthday (even second and third) is more for the parents, adults, and others than it is for the child.
I personally would never spend that much. That is perhaps the reason your child’s father doesn’t want to help, which is a legitimate reason. Its unnecessary and completely your choice to go that route.
However he has a right to be there just for the simple fact that its his child’s first birthday. Shutting him out isn’t going to help you or your child. Parenting is going to be hard enough…no reason to make it harder.
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Yes, invite him. He is your sons father. Alienation of one parent so the other does nothing positive for child’s relationship with a parent.
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And for the people who’re sayin “It’s only the 1st birthday, the child won’t remember it”. I don’t disagree but that’s not a valid reason. So keep it up mama! 1st bdays are always special especially from where we’re from. It’s to celebrate the life of a child… he/she made it, we made it through a year. 2nd bdays that’s when we tone it down. Then we make it big again on the 7th bday.
That’s his father ffs. Stop being selfish.
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Yep its wrong not to invite the dad. U and him have personal issues but you’re involving the child when u choose to make a decision like not having his dad over for bday parties. If ya can invite friends and family that didn’t spend a penny…
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Everyone has a different situation. If your relationship is toxic with Dad, then I wouldn’t invite him. He can have his own party if he chooses. And for everyone telling this woman not to do so much because the baby will not remember it, leave her alone. Baby won’t remember but she will and these are her memories, not yours.
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For all the people making comments about why is she spending so much on a first bday, mind your damn business. Go ahead and spoil ur baby sis. It’s a huge milestone to see your child make it to a year old, don’t let anyone take that away. Go all out, enjoy this milestone 
Let him have his own party 
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Dont ask him to come
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Be the bigger person… At least invite him if he shows up great if not at least u no you did your part.
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Kind of. You should probably invite him. I always did. Even though he never showed.
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Nope. Not at all. Dear ol’ dad can have a separate party if he cares
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People will say you should. Or be the bigger person. But if it was me I wouldn’t. Why should he enjoy something he had no interest in helping with.
My daughters dad and I are not together. And after we seperated I never invited him or his side of the family. We have seperate parties. If he doesn’t have one for her that’s on him. Our families don’t get along.
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This is childish!!! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! He cant help with the party if he doesnt know about the party! Clearly he doesnt know cause u dont wanna invite him!
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Don’t think he’ll miss it
I invited my babys dad and he didnt pay for anything then he left before the party even started and he was doing drugs at the location of the party and he wasn’t there none since I had her
No, you have yours and it’s up to him to have his.
Yes it’s wrong . Don’t hurt your child to get even with his dad . That’s between the adults not the child .But if he is a drunk , druggy or cruel to your child don’t let him around . If it’s just about $$ & lazy selfish with you but loving to her child then swallow your pride
I feel like not one answer is right, and I really don’t wanna argue with anyone but my opinion is that if he is a fairly decent dad to your baby (not toxic, there are no other factors not listed that could come into play) then I would. A man can be a great dad even if he isn’t/wasn’t a great husband/boyfriend. (Not saying that your baby’s father is or isn’t, I don’t know you guys personally). But if he will remain active in baby’s life, I know if it were me growing up I would be sad if my mom didn’t invite my dad because he didn’t help pay for stuff. That is just my opinion.
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Nope! Leave his butt out. He didn’t care enough about his son to help you so why should you be “the bigger person”. So are you really being the bigger person or saving your son the grief. A good father helps physically and financially. It’s his child’s party for God’s sake. Since you arent together he can throw his own party then and pay for it himself.
Of course you should invite him to share in the celebration if his child’s birthday. Regardless of whether or not he paid for it. You could easily bake a cake, get some balloons and streamers from the dollar store and throw a party for under 20 bucks if money is the issue. To shut him out for not paying for something that is not a neccessity seems petty and childish and uneccessarily cruel. Not a great message to start teaching your child. Money does not equal love. So unless he has no love for his child and has been abusive or unkind to his baby then he should be there and you should think about setting a better and more inclusive family example for your child. You are a momma now and it is time to stop being a child.
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I say invite him… I invited my ex to both parties that were thrown for our son on his first birthday. He didn’t help with any of it and he didn’t attend either party. So when our son is more grown and wants to know why his dad isn’t in any of the photos, I’ll tell him to ask his father and guess what? It’s not on me. I tried. Always try… Show your children you did what you could to keep the other parent involved. If they choose not to be involved then the child will see that.
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Its not your day. Its your sons.
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My mom and sister’s dad used to hold seperate parties for her. The way i see it if he wants to throw a party he can
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He sounds like a douche, but I would say to invite him for the sake of your daughter.
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Kids (especially babies) don’t need big birthday parties, so your decision to throw one and the time, energy and expense you’re choosing to invest is a parenting decision you made that he necessarily wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t penalize him for that. Invite the guy. If he chooses not to come, that’s on him.
My Husband and I don’t do big parties for our children. For younger ones, we have cake and ice cream and their presents after supper the night of their birthday. For older ones, they pick the menu for the entire day, they get a meal out with one or both of us parents and come home to cake and ice cream for dessert. They get to choose how to spend their birthday money or to save it all. In your scenario, we both would be viewed as deadbeat parents but this is our style and how we choose to parent. He has that same right, but TIME with parents is very valuable and you should offer him the chance to be involved without forcing him to front money to attend.
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Don’t let your anger interfere with the well being of your child. Be the bigger person and suck it up and both of y’all be there for his first birthday. Don’t be childish. Just because your angry with him doesn’t mean your son should not have him there.
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Well you didn’t say if you’re together or not where he’s just a butthead I’m assuming you’re not together and if that be the case I would say you have your party and he can have his party with his family if he chooses to do so I would not invite him or his any of his family as I said he can have his family have a party of their own and that way your son can have two parties
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Not at all. Does he get him for visitations? He can have his own birthday party for him when he has him.
Let him have his own party you owe him nothing
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No. He doesn’t want to do the work, why should he reap the benefits?
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nope, don’t invite him.
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Sounds like a loser he would not come to my sons party
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Kick him to their curb
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Invite him, be the bigger person. You child will thank you one day no matter what their relationship turns out to be. Been there.
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I wouldn’t punish the son because dad is tight fisted with money. He can still shafe6the special day with his son. If money is the issue there are ways of doing a great party for cheap.
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Yes, it is the right thing to do.