Unfortunately if the son and dad have a bond or he is in his life I’d invite him so at no point the dad nor your son later on can have anything against you plus sometimes we have to do things for our kids that are best for them while we hate that we have to unfortunately.
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I would invite but charge him for food, a seat and vendors fee lol but seriously if it’s your child’s first birthday you cant ever get that back
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If you’re separated, you have no obligation to invite him, just as he has no obligation for pay for any of the birthday party.
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I did my kids dads and they paid for nothing, at the end of the day you’ll want to see your baby happy.
Just ensure he stands like a stranger.
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I wouldnt invite him, if he cared about his child he wouldn’t be such a ass about helping with the party. He can have a separate bday party for him.
If you’re seperated and he gets visitations he can throw him his own party but seems like he doesn’t care to do so I would say no it isn’t wrong
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If he is involved in his life.yes invite.
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Yes it is wrong. So what if you are paying for it all your self. Think of your child and not your selfish. Your child deserves to have both parents present. Now if the dad hasn’t been a part of the life since birth don’t invite him but if he has been a good day why do that to your child. Invite him and celebrate your child together
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no data da best decision u made he cant just walk in like a free loader
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Yes it is, you will just be denying your son not his dad.
Yes it’s wrong…even if he’s a deadbeat if your son has a relationship with him and wants him there then as moms we suck it up for a couple hours and let him come. Otherwise the only one who suffers is your child .
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Invite him. Do the right thing. You will never regret it.
The kid doesn’t know the difference. Let the dad have his own party.
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Follow your gut feeling
Go with your gut feeling on this.
He still is the boys father no matter what circumstances its not the boys fault the parents don’t see eye to eye on things
Child is only one year old , why spend so much on a party he isn’t even going to remember .
Keep it small & his dad can or can’t come . Please yourself . Baby won’t remember
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If hes involved then yeah its wrong
I wouldn’t invite him if he can’t help you out why should he come to celebrate ? 
x
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We never have a bday party together. I do mine, the other does their own too.
It’s your own choice, but if I wanna put the invite out there, right on. If you dont, no big deal.
Would you be upset if he had a party for the child and did not invite you???
No it wouldn’t I don’t invite my kid’s dad cause he hardly around
Don’t invite him. If he wants to celebrate with his son at a later time let him.
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I wouldn’t. My two kids dads aren’t in their lives and I’ve never invited them to my babies parties. 
Yes of course invite him its amazing he is the one who is been the failure don’t deprive your son with a relationship with is dead beat dad your son will get the drift when he is older be the better parent
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Coparenting is the best situation for the child. He should always be invited to events for his child. If he chooses not to be a part, that’s on him. But as the caregiver and mother, it’s your job to at least attempt to give your child two parents even if separated. The best interest for your child always has to come above any animosity towards the other parent. Your kid will grow up knowing who is there for him, how much he’s loved, and appreciate all the effort you put in to give him the best possible. Rise above, and do what’s best for the child- always
It’s not wrong to not invite him no. He can do his own little or (big lol) celebration of his birth. But I wouldn’t not do it because he didn’t offer to give you money towards it. This was your thing. 
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1st Birthday party and you’re spending a lot of money on it? 
The kid doesn’t care about a birthday party. He won’t know who is there and who isn’t. If you want to be petty because the dad is the smarter one for not handing out money, then be petty.
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Are you going to invite him every year? Or not? Daddy needs to have his own party for son’s bday… son will soon find out who loves him & spends time /money on him
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The babys first yr might be a huge milestone so to be extravagant is somewhat understandable if you have the financial means to do this . however the child will not remember all of it . also you will be teaching the child to feel entitlement in yrs to come if this continues. That is of course your decision and not casting any shade . your child is not to blame cause the dad and you could not make it work so he or she is entitled to have both parents in his life as much as humanly possible. As long as you both are able to respect each other. Many couples that split up use the child as a weapon against the other and end up hurting the child very deeply in the process . never speak ill of the parent in front of the child. Just a little rant there . invite dad .
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I remember inviting my son’s dad to his 1st birthday party. Dad didn’t spend a cent on sons birthday. I over heard the dad telling other guest that he bought this and he bought that 
of course that wasn’t true but I did not say a word. The family knew he didnt spend a dime on our son and almost 30 yrs. later the dad spends nothing on our special son. But I still let the dad be a part of his life because MY SON loves his dad and I do it for him.
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I think it’s wrong because it’s for a petty reason, your kid doesn’t care who paid for everything… I remember as a kid having my birthday party at McDonald’s and when my dad never showed up it ruined my whole birthday come to find out my mom wouldn’t let him come. I resented her for it. Keeping him away hurts your sons more than it hurts the dad just remember that.
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I think you are wrong to spend any money on a one-year birthday party. How is your relationship with your son’s father? Unless you are scared of him, it would be nice of you to invite him. Don’t you want to be nice?
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It isn’t about you or him this is about your son.
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He’s 1 have a party at home, no need for a location party he’s not going to care or even remember. It’s your choice to not invite him, if he doesn’t want to help don’t invite him, I wouldn’t.
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It is easy to say dont invite him, but I agree with those who said be the better and invite him.
ESpecially if you have invited any other relatives [ father’s]
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Invite him show him you are a better person
Let Dad have another party for him, if he wants one
We need to lead by example 
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No it’s not wrong at all. Do what you feel would be best. Sending hugs 
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First birthday party really?
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Invite Dad Do it at home
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never hurts to be the bigger person
It’s not about the money, son is one? Dad can find his time with him
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Being kind dont cost anything and you will never regret it.
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Invite the father. Be the bigger, mature person that I’m sure you are! Happy Thanksgiving!
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It is not about the party, it is the memory of your child turning one, it is to celebrate the life and love two people created, the child will not know, till years later when looking at pictures, but wouldn’t it be nice for him to see two parents celebrating him!!
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Hi just sharing I have experienced in all sides of parenting with/ without and in my opinion that what ever goes on between the mom and dad it can be a challenge including a parent in the events and milestones of a child’s life. But it will benefit you and your child the bad thing is it’s something that can be hard to be civil be you both have to start somewhere and if you put effort out your child will know so when they are older they will know that your tried and if you both can be civil how great that will be for all concerned good luck oh by the way I never said it would be easy
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Yes, invite him. Just don’t feed him
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Why not. If you two are civil towards each other the father should be involved in the kids life. Just like every thing in that kids life. Maybe you 2 should sit down and discuss how involved and how much co-parenting will be done
Why is everyone laughing at the idea of a first birthday. My brothers/sisters/in laws all wanted to be there for my sons first birthday. And when I didn’t have a second birthday everyone bought him presents and expected to have their own celebration for him by me bringing him over.
Now for your questions I don’t really think it matters the first birthday is for you and the family. He will notice later in pictures. Just mention it to him, if he doesn’t want to come I wouldn’t put any more thought to it.
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If you can be cordial why not?
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Yes, it’s very wrong. I won’t go into details (because it would take all day) but both of my sons have missed important birthdays for their children and it hurt them very much.
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It’s not wrong. He don’t want to help u bt be wants to feed his face. Not wrong at all
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Your 1 year old doesn’t need a birthday like that. If you’re planning that, YOU can pay for it. Stop being selfish, petty and immature and think about the child’s relationship with his/her father. Your child isn’t going to give a damn who paid for it… just who shows up.
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Rule number one when you’re trying to raise a child in a situation where the parents of split up, always put the child’s needs first. Take care of the child. Taking care of the child means trying your best to get along with the other parent. So invite him. Yeah you’ll be spending the money, but spend wisely. You don’t need to do anything big or fancy. And this time next year, talk to Dad in advance about the birthday party budget and ask that he contribute half and have them give you the funds up front. I don’t use the situation as an excuse to not invite the dad. It only hurts the child.
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It’s up to you. But honestly, it’s your job as a parent (just as much as it is his) to still have a healthy coparenting relationship. If that continues as your son gets older, he will see and remember that…
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My son was 3 when I divorced his dad… I invited him to everything but he never showed up… when my son was 8 I met the love of my life… we married and still invited my ex to everything… our boy graduated from medical school 2 years ago… and me and my husband were the only ones there … our son couldn’t have cared less… he hugged my husband so hard and told everyone around… “this is,y dad who always believed in me and loves me and my mom so much”
I was crying…
so, keep the door open and it’s up to them on what to do
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Wrong he needs his daddy…
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Money doesn’t matter. Don’t deprive your son of his father. Trust me I’ve struggled with my kids and their dad, but in the long run he needs his dad. Invite him, if he doesn’t show that’s on him. At least you can say you tried and did your best. Don’t let petty crap ruin your son’s relationship with his dad.
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Invite him… In the end, your son will see that YOU made the effort to have his father be a part of his life. You did your part and weren’t petty about little things.
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Invite him. If he shows up, he shows up. If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t. You don’t want to have to look your son in the face one day and explain his dad wasn’t there because you didn’t invite him. Leave the ball in dad’s court, ya know? That way, if he chooses not to be there, he has to explain that to his son someday himself. Just make sure it is not your fault dad isn’t there. You don’t want the wrong choice to haunt you years later.
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So because he doesn’t help with party people assume he doesn’t care??? How do people come up with that? And why would he want to spent money on a 1yr old bday party? Specially with holidays around the corner then again different brains probably dad is one of those.
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Part of me says, yes invite him. If he is basically a good father, supports his child and spends time with him (dedicated).
The other part of me says no.
1st birthdays are special but I wouldn’t have spent a huge amount and go overboard. They are too little to understand.
Yes. If he is a good person and done nothing to harm you or his don then he has a right to be there
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My daughters bio father had little involvement while she was little and didn’t pay for much. But, I still invited him to every party, along with his wife and other kids. The first party I didn’t invite him to was when she became a teenager. The birthday parties aren’t about you or him, they’re about your child and what’s best for them. You should invite him.
yikes, just get a smash cake and call it a day. If you aren’t together and he isn’t involved in or helping plan I would not invite him
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Nope. He can have his own party.
Absolutely still invite him. Don’t let it effect your son. He’ll make an ass of himself. Always take the high road.
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Get used to thinking about THE KID. Not your feelings. Will the child have any other time with the dad?. Doesn’t have to be in your home but if its at a public space, you should. You arent required to force the dad, nag him or beg him. But this is the first of many years and events. You know what YOUR KID is going to remember when theyre old enough to think about the relationship between mom and dad? Was that mom always put forth the effort. Mom always wanted whats best for the kid. Let dad fail on his own. Trust me, my sons dad and step mother have ran their mouth about me but when I ask my son, almost 15, if he feels any of it is true or have I let him down in any way, he says no and hugs me. Its hard, REALLY HARD not to do or say the things his dad deserves, but its our responsibility as parents to watch for our kids emotional well being…they see the other person as a parent not a bum who doesn’t pay their way. And we set the example for them as being kind and giving.
No, im not advocating in any way to support an abusive or dangerous father. Assuming your concerns are only financial and that hes lazy.
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If you are not together , don’t get along, and he doesn’t make any effort he can celebrate another day with your son. You do not have to invite him to anything if it makes you uncomfortable.
If your son’s father doesn’t want to contribute in any way he does not need to be present. From your description he doesn’t seem to be involved at all.
Nope. He doesn’t want to help. I feel he wants to look good in everyone’s else’s eyes. I say no. Been there before.
It is not wrong to Not invite him. My ex and I got along ok and he payed his child support but I never invited him. That’s what happens when you split. It’s your choice as his main guardian to make. Either you invite him or not it’s ok.
I say invite him ,its not the kids fault that the dad doesnt do his part but if hes still willing to be in his life dont take that away from your child because of the actions and lack of help of the father .just my opinion ,your kids feelings come before ours
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Invite the dad. Continue to invite the dad, and never say anything negative to your child about their father. If father is a jerk, they’ll learn it all on their own without your help.
Don’t invite him. Your son is to young to remember & it will hopefully send a message to his dad, that you’re not gonna put up with his crap.
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Don’t be bitter. Be better. For your son. Invite him.
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Yes its wrong. You’re punishing the child for the sins of the father
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In the times we’re in now, if you have a man that actually wants to be a father, money or not, let him… There are too many children growing up without a parent, mother or father. You don’t have to be friends or buddies with the dad but you can be polite and still be a solid unit for your son. He’s going to need that in this crazy world he’s growing up in. Ultimately the choice is yours…
It’s not your son, it’s our son. This is not about how you feel. Your feelings dont matter, it’s about the child. He has a father and mother. The father should not have to be invited to his own sons birthday. You should both be with the child in his birthday. Sounds like your the problem here.
If the only reason you aren’t inviting him is money then yeah that’s kinda petty. But if he’s an absentee parent then you shouldn’t feel bad about it
Location? It’s a one year old. What kind of a display are you putting on. If I were the father I certainly would not want to attend an expensive, ostentatious party that is obviously not about the baby. I’d have my own small family gathering. That is if you allow the father access without you.
If his dad is in his life then you are dead wrong for that.
I would not invite him besides your son won’t remember…
First of all, a lot of people throw 1st Birthday parties. So don’t worry about those comments. But keep it about your child. Of course when your child looks back he’s not going to care where it was how big the cake was etc, he’s going to care who was there in the pictures. I would personally invite the dad, for your child’s sake. It is after all his 1st birthday 
Why is everyone putting her down for wanting to have a big party for her child’s first birthday? Don’t you celebrate your child being here? I had parties for my kids for every birthday from their first to their soon to be 12 & 14. Nothing big but still a party. I would invite him.
Invite him, this is for your son remember, in the long run your son will know what’s up
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I say that’s up to you. Personally, I wouldn’t invite him.
Your son’s not gonna remember it anyway, so it definitely doesn’t make a difference to him. 
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I wouldn’t invite him.
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Dont invite him for yourself or for what he paid or didn’t pay or did or didn’t do, invite him for your son
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Yes… Its his dad…
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Nope don’t invite him. He doesn’t act like he cares
Invite him but give him no cake or icecream.
Let him throw his own party.
I would say invite him, unless he causes drama or brings negativity. His child doesn’t necessarily need to know he is a dirtbag. If he is willing to show up, at least afford that opportunity for your son. But yes, dirtbag move on his part. Hope that helps.
If it’s not a joint effort, make it a separate effort. On a side note, if he’s 1 why pay for a location? You have many birthdays to go and nobody will remember the 1st in 10 years.
Dang some of y’all sheizty. Just because your paying for it doesn’t mean the boy doesn’t deserve his father there 
y’all think to much about yourselves
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Yes that is wrong. Don’t punish that little boy because you’re mad at his father
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My son has had 3 birthdays since I split with his dad and I’ve always paid for everything for them. It’s not about the money, it’s about who my son would want to spend the day with. Sure it’d be nice if they helped out but I definitely wouldn’t make it a huge deal
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The kid is 1… he’s not going to remember who was there and who wasn’t I wouldn’t invite him.