Would it be wrong to not invite my sons dad to his birthday?

Yessss u should invite him…let him see what REAL women do…with or without a man it’s gonna happen ! That’s a REAL woman and mama !

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I think that not inviting him should not be a decision made by the parent. We need to learn to let our kids be their own judge . They are capable of seeing when someone is genuine or not .

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Your son deserves to have both parents in his 1st birthday photos.

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No - if you’re separated let the dad do something with him separate.

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He’s 1, he won’t remember either way you choose lol

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Yes. Be the bigger person. Your son does not care who pays for what but he will notice dad not being there.

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I dont feel its wrong… If it was me i would invite him at the end for the cake part only.

I wouldn’t invite him.

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I wouldn’t invite him. It would be one thing if you were friendly and planning it together but if you not and he obviously isn’t helping then let it be on him to do his own thing.b

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Feelings aside-do what’s best for your son.

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Dose he see his son them yes if not then no

Is the dad going to have a party for his side of the family? If not then I would invite. If he is then let him do his own thing

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Itd be more stand up of you to offer an invite for the sake of your child and he can decide on if he wants to participate.

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Heck no. If he’s the dad he’s obviously invited in my opinion. If he comes, he comes, if not :woman_shrugging:t4: forcing him to be a real father is pointless

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No if ur doing all the work and u honestly dont want him there he can throw his own party. Iv seen alot of parents do it this way when they dont get along or one is doing all the work

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Nope, if he wants to be a ghost for lots of things, treat him as such, none of this “it’s your child’s father, do it for your son” this only applies for non-petty situations. Conveniently he’s gonna come around for the rewards and celebrations and no hard work? hell no! Your gonna end up bitter at all those celebrations.

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Yep it’s not about you its about your child. Dont be the one to blame for his absence. Your son will see him for who he is as he gets older.

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I think if he’s active in the child’s life and gets Long enough with you to not start any scene then it would be nice to invite him. Maybe not such a big deal at a young age but when the child gets older it would be a good memory

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He’s one. He won’t remember! You however will so forget the guy. If he wants to throw some future birthdays then let him.

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My daughter’s dad and I split right after she was born and we always had separate parties. Always. I did mine with my families and he did his with his. When I had my son, I tried to do the right thing and invited my son father (who was never around). He showed up briefly and that was the last time he saw him. He signed his rights after that. My opinion is no. I felt it was the right thing to do so I tried, but if he wants to be there and participate, he will come to you and want to be part of it. If you have to drag him, don’t.

Not wrong to me. He can throw his own party.

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I think it depends on your situation. If he’s active in the child’s life and he would want him to be there yes I would invite him. But if he’s not then I would let him have his own party on his own time. Not all situations are the same so there’s no 100% right or wrong answer. You could invite him and it could be drama no one knows your situation but you.

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It’s about the child and yes I think you should extend an invite to his father. Sometimes moms have to put our feelings about our kids dads to the side so our kids can have good memories. If you think your child would like his dad to be there then you absolutely should invite him!

Do not separate this little boy from his father. Not fair to him. Happened to me and missed so much i could have had with him because my family were selfish. Give yiur boy to make that decision when he has been with his dad as he gets older. Children need both parents

There’s no right or wrong answer here. Communication with the child’s father should be the priority. Does he want to go? Is he hosting his own party? Will there be drama.

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Just co parent the best you can. It’s better to start off things being the civil one and not the one banning the other parent from bdays. I know it’s hard especially when you are forking over the money, but just offer a invite. It’ll probably be declined but you offering shows alot.

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If hes not gonna put any effort into it, he can have his own party on his own time… And then on the brightside the baby gets 2 bdays :slight_smile:

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Sounds like my son’s 1st bday but I was pressured into inviting them even tho they completely ignored me and my daughter but not my son as his there blood… then when my daughter ignored her, that was completely unacceptable behaviour she said. I said u didn’t bother with her so I told her dont bother with them then hunnie and u do your own thing and have fun. I got a whole $50 towards ours son’s bday. Not a cent towards the hundreds of dollars for his party @ playcentre, presents, additional party food trays for guests at $50 each, drinks for adults, his 2nd party a week later which was a cake smash…not a cent there…And now Christmas I’ve spent over $1000 And not 5cents back. Holiday paid for Phillip island cost $500 for weekend, then Adelaide in Feb for the nite with flights costing $500 plus… but asks me for money… pathetic! I wouldn’t invite him.if u choose not to. Your not obliged to do him any favours if he can’t even help provide or contribute to his child’s 1st birthday. Tell him see u at maccas for a happy meal play date my friend like I do now. If u coat shit in sugar…it’s still shit ain’t it… He don’t bother so u shouldn’t I say. Take 2 to make a baby, but most times the case turns out to be…it’s ends up taking only 1 to raise them

Why cant he throw his own party ?
Thats what i would do…you can throw your own and he can do what he wants.

If he’s going to cause drama and bullshit, I wouldn’t. But if it’s just because of your own feelings of resentment, frustration, whatever. Then set those aside for the sake of your son. Sure he’s young and won’t even remember who was at his 1st birthday. But his father will.

It’s your CHILD’S birthday. Not yours. While it’s shitty that he isn’t helping, his presence matters to your baby. If he doesn’t show, it’s on HIM.

Mama, my ex didn’t pay for shit either. I paid for 98% of everything, the other 2% was my dad and his parents, which wasn’t much. Her party wasn’t expensive or over-the-top but it still hurt my wallet. Keep the peace and invite him. Your son will look back at pictures years from now and want to see mommy and daddy, no matter how much of a dick he is. Sometimes you have to swallow your anger and pride and do it. Believe me, I know how you feel!

Yes it would be wrong. Your son one day is going to look back on his first birthday and wonder where’s Dad? Have the child’s father do clean up. Empty trash, wipe the tables. It’s show’s your the stronger than him “mentally”.

My ex didn’t help with squat EVER but he still was there every time yeah its nice to have help but I look at it I can do shit on my own without you so whatever its not about you or the dad its about your child and your child deserves both parents a child doesn’t need to witness bitterness or fighting because it just messes them up as they get older

It is wrong. Be the bigger person and get along long enough to give your kid a decent birthday. Co parent instead of making it a war to see who can throw the better party like does the really require a second thought?

He should know when his birthday is… if he shows, he shows… if he doesn’t, than he doesn’t… but don’t make it about what he does and doesnt do. It’s your responsibility as the child’s mother to take care of stuff. You sound bitter.

Why doesn’t the dad want to help? Do he not have the funds? We need both sides

Hate this bigger person bullshit, you’re looking after baby, and paying for everything, and everyone is saying to you to be the bigger person? No no no, your priority is your son that’s why you are planning and paying for everything, his relationship or lack of relationship with his son is his responsibility not yours. He obviously knows it’s his sons birthday so he should be discussing and organising this with you not leave you to wonder. Sick of women telling other women to consider the father when the father doesn’t consider them or their child. No don’t invite him unless YOU want him there, your son will be happy if you are and if he looks back at pics or whatever when he’s old enough, you will explain the situation and he will realise, you can’t make someone care if they don’t, whether you invite him or not it’s obvious he doesn’t care and it’s better that your son deals with the truth instead of you trying to paint that his father gives a shit when he doesn’t. It’s up to the father to prove himself to his son it ain’t your job! You did choose him to be the father of your son but that doesn’t mean you have to compensate for him for the rest of your life, you just do your best as his mum. If he wants a party and doesn’t wanna join forces with you to put one on together, tell him to put one on for his son, and like some others have said the bonus in that is not only does baby have 2 parties, but he will look back at the pictures taken at his party that his father organised for him and realise his father put effort into him. You keep covering for your sons father you are only creating a lie for your son that he will one day realise and will only be hurt and you are to blame. Regardless of how painful the truth is it’s better than believing a lie.

For God’s sake just be the bigger person and invite him.

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Your baby won’t know or care one way or the other. I wouldn’t invite the man!

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Invite and be the bigger person. If he doesn’t come, his loss.

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If he’s there for the baby then Yes invite him.