Would you be mad about this?

My partner of 11 years went out to a festival, no problem at all we don’t live together. But my issue is he was at my house the day after and didn’t tell me. I only found out by a picture on Facebook some1 messaged me.
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I would just casually bring it up. Say someone sent you photos of him at this festival and you just wanted to know why he wouldn’t tell you. We’re there girls with him the photos? Do you know the people who were with him? It seems kind of weird he wouldn’t tell you…did he tell you he was somewhere else when he was really there? Ask him and see his responses.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would you be mad about this? - Mamas Uncut

Be mad for what? What am I missing?

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Am I missing something here? did he do something wrong? Did he go with someone he wasn’t suppose too? Is something questionable?

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Why is there a problem?

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11 years u live seperatly but are mad he was at your house like seriously take a chill pill

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Why does he have to tell u he went to a festival? Yall might have been together for 11 years but he is still his own person

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Yeah I would be skeptical :face_with_monocle: cuz why not tell me.

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Mad for what? Why does it matter that he went to a festival then came to your house? Sounds like you have issues…

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Hmmmmm so would it be because he didn’t tell you? If so…I don’t really think I would be mad unless you suspect he didn’t tell you for a reason

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The real question is, why be with someone for 11 years if your not serious enough to live together and don’t have a solid enough relationship to bring this up with him instead of Facebook?

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11 years and you don’t live together? Thats a red flag right there… why would him being at your house be an issue?

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Am i the only one that is really confused :grimacing:

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:man_facepalming: that’s SOOOO annoying! I hate it when he does that!!

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Why didn’t he tell u. Why he sneaking around

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Was your communication prior to this one instance different? If it was something he would’ve told you about before, but then didn’t this time… if be a bit sus about it and want to know why.

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I don’t understand the problem. Is he supposed to tell you everything he does? Do you tell him everything you do?

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You don’t even live together…

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Not everyone wants to live together, guys

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I feel like maybe she means he was around a shit ton of people, in a global pandemic, and failed to mention this before coming to her house. And that’s a problem.

I need more info before I can answer this. Lol

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I’d be more pissed he didn’t invite me

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Yall been together 11 years and still don’t live together? I think you have bigger problems than him going to a festival.

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if its ‘your’ house, take that seriously. change the locks. all based on you do not want to see him or want him there? bit of a privacy invasion…

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She’s mad due to COVID, people… :roll_eyes:

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Did you ask him? Do you tell him everything you do

I’m guessing your issue was the fact that you may have been exposed to Covid. My suggestion would be to watch for the signs and possibly self isolate for a few days. Perhaps take a Covid test just to be sure?

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This is super unclear to me. Are you mad he went to a festival and didn’t tell you or that he was in your house and didn’t tell you? If it’s the first you sound insecure. If its the second sounds like lack of trust. Either way there’s no winning in either situation. Fix whatever situation you have going with yourself. Fix whatever situation you have with your man.

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I don’t understand are you hiding something. do you not trust this person to be at your house. where were you?

Last year my fiance did this only he left me and our 1 month old to go dress up and play cowboys for a week in the middle of the covid spike with me begging him not to. There was over 10,000 cases where he went and was in public crowd the whole time when he came back I made him stay away for 2 weeks. He couldn’t come to the house or see us. Maybe she’s upset he possibly exposed her to covid

Y’all she’s not mad he was at her house. She’s mad that he didn’t mention he went to the festival and didn’t tell her while he was there :joy:

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Everyone re read the status she is saying that her boyfriend came to her house the next day to chill but while they were hanging out not once did he mention that he went to the festival. She had found out that he had gone by a picture from another person.

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I need more info and why specifically are you mad? You don’t live together and I assume you don’t tell each other every little thing you do in a day. Unless there is another reason why be mad?

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It may have slipped his mind. There could have been an extra ticket from work or something and he just made a day of it. Sometimes too, men don’t think about things as important as women. Sometimes even other women are too busy to remember the things they did with or without a group around days before. Ask him about it and be genuinely excited for him that he had gotten possibly much needed, “Stop and smell the roses” kind of time away from hustle and bustle of life/work. He probably even tried getting in touch with you but didn’t have a working signal. If it’s him by himself, be happy for him and let it go. Inquire that you wouldn’t have minded coming along should he find himself in that situation again. Or see if there’s another coming up and surprise him with tix. Who knows, maybe there was a favorite artist playing that day. Hopefully, it’s one of these. Granted, if there’s someone he’s sharing popcorn with, we’re going to have to share more. He’s gonna have to explain that. Also, are you someone he’d feel wouldn’t understand why he wanted to do something that fun to begin with, or does he know you like festivals? And, if the earlier, then maybe he didn’t want you to get mad or upset that he went, or possibly he was thinking about you and knew you had to work so didn’t want to rub it in. What’s the status of things prior to the festival too? If things have been good, you’re fine. But, again, you need to assess it without blaming him right off. And lastly, consider he’d have known you’d see the pictures. So, it’s truly not like he wanted to hurt you - intentionally at least - and was not hiding anything.
My husband trusts me. I am a singer/songwriter and act. I am around a lot of people and sometimes can’t always give a play by play. But I know I would never let any dude get between us. I married for life. I would hope that even though you’re not married to each other, you’d have the same value within each other. Otherwise, is it time to move onto someone that does want to take that next step and never forget to invite you. I would never go anywhere without inviting him along first.

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Lol so are you guys separated or just never a couple? If you guys are a couple and is separated due to some issues and is working on your relationship, then yes, you can mad that he didn’t tell you.

Vauge posting at this finest.

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Yea I would be upset and assuming he is hiding something .

You’ve been together for 11 years and you’re not living together? Wowza, just seems odd to me

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How would they get in your house without a key and if you give someone a key that tells them theycan go in any time they want unless you say otherwise like it is for emergency only.

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Kinda weird but I would totally be like so how was the festival :joy:

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Nah. Just leave it alone

11 years and he can’t go to tour house? Weird. Or I’m too trusting evidently

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This whole scenario is weird to me

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Reading comprehension definitely isnt yalls forte.
To answer OPs question, I’d be irritated that he didn’t tell me when he was there “hey, btw, I went to a festival” but maybe it slipped his mind? Were yall having any important convos that day or arguments? Maybe he thought it would cause a fight and that’s why he didn’t bring it up (still i would be irritated, but at least it would be a more valid reasoning). You should just talk to him.

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Y’all been together 11 years and don’t live together? Throw the whole man away!! That’s not normal??

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That’s weird but I also find it a little weird you guys have been together for 11 years and don’t live together so I would need some more context here.

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Are you guys super close ??? Not sure because you don’t live together. But if you tell each other everything like most couples after 11 years would then yes I’d find it weird and definitely ask him questions.

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So you didnt know he was at your house or at the festival?

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Yes let’s post this question, but when I ask a question on how to explain something to my son let’s throw that out the window :thinking::unamused:

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Why he have to tell you, y’all don’t live together.

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I don’t tell my husband everything I do. If he’s at work I go do as I please. Take kids to places go to the beach alone, festivals or whatever. When he gets home and asked how my day was I may or may not tell him. Not everything is his business. Not doing anything wrong at all. Just my me time

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id be wondering why he didn’t tell me and why someone thought they needed to privately message me a photo about it.

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Definitely seems like y’all aren’t that close so I’m not sure why he would feel the need to tell you? Maybe y’all are most distant than you realize and he’s on a different page as you.

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Shaking my head at many things.

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I’m assuming this is a COVID issue and not the festival itself since it seems you’re upset that he came over the following day without disclosing where he was…if he did this without telling you, how many other places and things is he doing without telling you. Seems like a lack of respect issue to me.

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If you trust him why worry

If yall been together 11 years why is it a problem he was at your house the next day? How did you not know he was there all day? Why do yall have such horrible communication after 11 years? Is that why yall don’t live together? So many questions

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Y’all don’t live together, not married. Y’all single in my eyes

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I’d only be mad if I had concerns about covid, not because he didn’t have my permission. He’s grown and doesn’t need to run everything past you.

If your just boyfriend girlfriend they can go where they want. If you don’t live together do your own thing.

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Partner of 11 years and y’all don’t live together… I’d have more questions then where he spent his day…

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Does he have to tell you everything he does? You are both grown adults with your own sets of friends. Have you gone out with friends and told him every single time where you went, with who, etc? I doubt it, so why trip. I’d be more concerned that the person who sent you a pic is a shit starter and id question their motives, they might be trying to put a wedge between yall.

11 years…not living together…and you arr worried about a festival…um…be worried about more than that!

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I’m confused AF…you don’t live together but are together? Tbh I wouldn’t tell you sh*t if I didn’t live with you…might as well be single. 11yrs??? I would understand 1yr…

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Y’all don’t seem very close. If it’s no big deal that he does things, it shouldn’t be a big deal he didn’t tell you

Yeah fucking major covid risk

You’ve been together for 11 years and don’t live together?? If you have a problem with your partner of 11 years at your home without telling you, then end the relationship. It’s going nowhere.

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In my opinion, no matter how long you have been together, if you don’t live together he really didn’t have to tell you. Maybe the festival was a last minute thing.

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If your mad about it be mad about it but our feelings arent yours and things I would be upset with may not upset other people…but for me I give my bf freedom probably too much freedom in other people’s eyes lol but we still respect each other to tell each other where we are going :woman_shrugging:

Did you want to go to the festival?

Me thinks the person private messaging you is maybe trying to cause trouble :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Is this a jealousy post because he didn’t tell you an you think he’s playing games or are you upset over him being out and about with covid? I’ll need more information to give you my personal opinion

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Ur partner not ur child… 11 years… still living apart. Move on hun ur single…

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You aren’t even living together… He doesn’t have to tell you shit. Just move on. At this point you are single.

Ok I get it , he chose to expose himself to possible covid and by coming to your place brought his choices with him . Question, who was there at your place with him ? If nobody then should be fine with a quick disinfecting. If he then exposed others at your place every one exposed should get tested then go from there . I get tested 2x a week at my job and its stressful but reassuring .

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Why would this make you mad? Unless the two of you were supposed to hang out and he bailed on you with some BS excuse only to find out he went to the festival.
Sounds a little petty to me. Do you tell him everything that you do?

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Did he do something? I’m not sure what the issue is here.

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11yrs together is what u should ask him move in or move on

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11 years together and he can’t stop by ?

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I have way too many questions so imma keep scrolling!

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More info from the Question Asker: So we have no trust issues, we do communicate everyday, I also didn’t want a invite, I have 3 children at home 2 who has disability’s and 1 high risk, also partner works night shift so not living together works as I don’t think kids should have to be kept quiet threw day while he sleeping. My issue is he didn’t mention it following day while at my house, I found out a few days later.

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Who cares if he didn’t mention it. If he loves u n kids the noise during day shouldn’t matter. That’s 11yrs

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I have to say I would find it a little strange that he didn’t at least mention it. Maybe it was just uneventful for him so he didn’t I think to even mention it?

I’d be mad being with someone for 11 years and not living together.

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What’s the complaint

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I think there’s bigger problems with the fact y’all been together that long and you don’t live together AND you have a problem with him at your place

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Based on what info is provided… I’m not seeing the issue here.

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Oh I get it now. It took me like 100 years to understand what this was asking.

I guess I’d be irritated to if he didn’t tell me what he was up to but did you specifically ask him if he went to the festival? Don’t ask, don’t tell. Maybe he thought you’d be mad so he didn’t bring it up. The real question is 11 years? I think you’re on to something here. If it weren’t for double the bills, that’s genius!

That’s a long time together and you don’t live together? What in the world….

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Ya I know the feeling. . My fiancee doesn’t tell me when he shits either

#relationshipgoals. :joy::joy: jk but I can see the irritation because it seems sketchy to not mention it.

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Was you at your house too? Lol

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Maybe OP has a compromised immune system & is afraid of getting germs from a big festival gathering. That was my first thought when reading this.

If your trying to justify not living together because you have kids with disabilities and schedules then you don’t have a spouse🤷‍♀️ literally everyone has to make their schedules work in a relationship and help with kids.

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I’m sorry, what’s the question?

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I had to read the comments because somehow I read that as he was at your house without telling you

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How do I get a husband that doesn’t live with me? :thinking:

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I would wonder why he did not mention it to me, do you guys talk about things like that? How is your relationship with him?

:woman_facepalming: completely at loss for words

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