Would you guys be mad if one of your parents got married without telling you? So the other day, I saw my dad and saw he had a wedding band, and so I asked my grandma did my dad get married, and he said, ya, he got married a few months ago. She said he didn’t want to tell you cuz he didn’t want to upset you. I go. I wouldn’t be upset that he got remarried, but now I am upset my kids, and I weren’t invited. I feel it is my dad; he should have told me. My dad and I don’t have a bad relationship so that shouldn’t be a problem inviting us. He hates my mom tho that maybe that has something to do with it. But would you guys cared that your parents got married and everyone knew but you.
Mine dad sent a note in the mail. It said I did it again
I would be upset if nobody told me. Wouldn’t care that he got married, but not telling me would bother me
Upset no, disappointed yes.
No but talk to him tell him how you feel
Im so sorry my feeling would have been hurt
My dad did. I found out a few month later. I was disappointed for few days. But it’s his business. We are all adults and he is free to do as he choices…
My mother told me she was getting married (a long time ago) and said she wanted a small wedding. She told us we could be apart of the wedding. A few weeks later she said they secretly married. That hurt! And yes, I was mad.
My kids found out their dad got married on Facebook. 31 days after me and his divorce was finalized. We had been separated 6 years before the divorce and he told them he wasn’t going to marry this chick and he did it without the decency to let them know
Doesn’t sound like your relationship is as good as you hoped. He was trying to avoid some drama. Or did he simply choose to elope one afternoon?
You’re mad he didn’t tell you but you couldn’t even ask him, you had to ask your grandma? Sounds like y’all don’t have a relationship and that’s why he didn’t tell you.
My dad did less than 6 months after divorce with my mom was final. None of us were invited or had net her. We were pissed. Ge divorced her and then did the same thinf again
Yes lmao my dad got married 3 days after me because I told him he couldn’t come to the wedding. It wasn’t anything personal from me but my parents are divorced and my wedding was at my aunts beach house on the bay.
We didn’t plan on anyone coming but my family rented the house next door and we did have a party.
Since upsetting you and drama were specifically mentioned… and everybody knew but you… says you maybe have a tendency to not behave as an adult. How many of his relationships have you sabotaged? Maybe he wanted to marry this lady before you could run her off.
My dad did the same thing when I was 8. I never really got an explanation. I was pissed . Not only did I find out because of the ring but she was emotionally abusive towards me .
Maybe? I got married a year ago and just had someone to do the paperwork for me and my husband. We did it for financial reasons. It was super fast. I’m sure the person behind us was super disappointed. She wore an actual wedding dress and I just had street clothes on. And I’m sure you’re not the only one who doesn’t know. What does it really change for you? Eh id let it go hon. It’s done.
Not mad at all. I’d be happy for them. To me all that matters is that they’re happy.
And apart of that is respecting them, and how they want to get married, and how they choose to do things. It’s their life.
I would be upset yes, you should sit down and ask him why. If my step mother had her own way, we wouldn’t of been invited to my dads 2nd wedding. She would very much like us to be non existent. He got upset with me because I wasn’t at the location for family photos, which I was never actually told about by my step mother. It was too much so I removed myself out the equation about they started having kids.
Kids tend to be possessive. Are you the possessive jealous type? People like to avoid drama and confrontation and do what makes them happy. Don’t hate congratulate.
we went of and got married 2 witnesses my mum and aunt we told the kids straight after the only 1 upset was my stepson we done it for a reason so we didnt upset ppl by not inviting them
My mom is trying to finalize her divorce with my step dad. But she’s been with this guy for 4 yrs now who has treated her like a queen. He served the military. I didn’t get mad at my mom when I found out she moved on quick even tho still being married. I’m happy for her. He has been there for her all the time. Making her feel so comforting. He has helped her accomplished one of her dreams. Witch was get her GED. (step dad never wanted her to. Or she would get started but stop.) He has also been more of a grampa/dad to my son.
Yes, I would be more upset he did not tell me
I’m with you… I’d be hurt, disappointed, and wondering why.
I mean there is a reason he felt like he couldn’t tell you
No, my dads been married 6 times… after my mom who cares?.. I would ask he why though.
No. His life. His choice.
Going through something very similar,my granddaughters mother got married to man she had known for 2 weeks. Needless to say this 12 year old is very upset for more than one reason. I just keep reminding her who she should be mad at is her mother not this guy who has done nothing
I wouldn’t be mad I wasn’t invited, but I would be upset if I found out months later. That seems strange.
Uhhhhh. Yeah. I’d freaking care! I’d be absolutely livid. Especially if everyone else knew, except me. That’s a huge thing to hide and not be included in. Family doesn’t hide things like that.
My dad told me half an hour before he got on the plane to florida(we’re from uk) that he was getting married and it was family only (him, his missis and their 3 kids)
Both of my parents have been married without me knowing. But I’m not close to them and was raised by grandparents so I honestly don’t care what they do
I’d be hurt and upset in your situation. If you had a decent/good relationship and he purposely didn’t tell you, that’s an issue for me. Even if he hates your mom, that shouldn’t have anything to do with you.
My dad (at 65) married this woman he dated in high school. Thought they were long lost soul mates. They married without telling us cause she was awful and convinced my dad that we didn’t like her. Well 10 years later she had really isolated my dad from his family. We didn’t know how hard it had been for him until she killed him in his sleep and then committed suicide. My dad had been miserable but that piece of trash had isolated him so much that he didn’t feel like he could reach out.
Ide be hurt for sure
Andria Fisher this sounds familiar
No, as long as they are happy.
I would just straight up ask him…why didn’t you tell me…or invite me…your my dad…I love you and want you to be happy…then ask when do I get to meet her… unless you already know her…get together bring a wedding gift…life is way to short to hang onto hate or hurt… but if you have as good as a relationship as you think this shouldn’t be to hard
I would be hurt and if you have a good relationship, you can talk to him about it. How would he feel if you got married and didn’t tell him?
Yes it would def piss me off. I was in a similar situation where I came home from school one day and my mother informed me that she got married earlier that day at the courthouse. I was hurt really
My dad got married again andr didnt tell me🤷♀️ as long as he is happy I’m happy for him. It’s not that big a deal to me.
Sounds like the reality is you and your Dad DO have a different relationship than what you thought. I recommend you talk to him and explain why it bothers you.
My bio father did this. I was 8 but it still hurt. They didn’t want me there for some reason. Knowing his wife she probably had some paranoid idea that my mom would’ve interfered. She wouldn’t have. She was married to much better, responsible, respectable man than he ever would be.
If I was a teen or adult when he got married I would’ve cut off contact. Not telling me something this important means he had no respect for me. Why waste your time on someone who doesn’t respect you?
Actions speak louder than words. Always pay a lot of attention to actions. Less to words.
I was 16 when my dad got married I found out 3 days later on someone else Facebook, I didn’t even know he was engaged, I was pissed of big time
Wow. He should have told you.
He should of told you ! But it’s not something to feed on
It wouldn’t bother me…unless the other person was doing some shady crap…he grown, u grown…he doesn’t have to tell u
My dad did the same when I was younger. Honestly didn’t care it was his 3rd marriage! Even if he got married again without telling me it wouldn’t bother me.
Mine got remarried too with out telling anyone. Found out through his dad because he accidentally said something I was upset.
It wouldn’t bother me if it was my dad, but my mom? Yeah because we’re close!
I was 8 when that happened. I was hurt because her children (who lived with her ex) were a part of the ceremony.
My dad did the same, for different reasons. First myself and my siblings knew of it was when he turned up introducing her as our new step mum. Not one of us cared, even the grandkids just shrugged it off. x
Me and my husband got married and told people after the fact. It wouldn’t bother me. If they had a big wedding and all that then maybe I would care, but if it was just a small thing then nah it wouldn’t bother me.
Hmmmm… me and my guy are planning on eloping… we both have grown children… don’t plan on telling any of them… we’re all adults 💁
Like you I’d be more upset at not being told
If you are an adult with your own life. (It sounds like you are) …he’s done his job with you, meaning he doesn’t owe anything to you. Not even an explanation for getting married and not telling you. He’s an ADULT (and so what of your parents don’t get along) you’re GROWN They already did the job of raising you. AND NO IF IT WAS ME I WOULDN’T CARE. SO STFU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LET HIM BE HAPPY.
Thats a rotten thing for him to do to you. Wow. Really upsetting. I do not blame you.
It really doesn’t matter how other people feel … he’s your dad and you know your relationship better than anyone. That said, it’s clear you obviously feel you have the kind of relationship in which you expect he would’ve told you/invited you. No matter how he feels about your mom, he should never use that against you in any way as you shouldn’t be put in the middle. That’s just my opinion.
Is it possible you can try to talk to him about how you feel and get the answers you’re searching for right from him?
Depends on the situation. Seems weird he wouldn’t tell you or invite any of you then again with pandemic happening maybe he felt best not to. If they dudn’t have an actual wedding then I could understand. I would think he would have at least called you and informed you of everything. He is your dad. That seems odd to me
I’d be super angry. I would be petty and bring him and his new wife over a wedding gift and congratulate them so he felt guilty
My parents got married when I was at school never even new they was getting married😂 never bothered me😁 doesn’t affect you’re life so I wouldn’t let it bother you😁
If he got married a few months ago, I would say your relationship doesn’t appear as solid as you think. Why didn’t you ask him when you saw the wedding ring? Maybe he just thought that you did not care.
Your dad eloped. Nothing new. Congratulate your dad and move forward.
I mean it depends honestly, I got married and my whole family found out through my Facebook update it was a short lived marriage
It’s his life, he doesn’t have to tell anyone.
Go give him and step mom a hug. Tell them you love them! Tell them congratulations! Sounds like they were trying to avoid drama. Help them avoid it. Embrace them with acceptance, love and joy
My dad ran off and got married with just her kids there. We have Haven’t had a good relationship since. You have to make time for the people who make time for you.
I think there’s more to this story…
I would be upset. Yes you are grown but they are still your parents and you are still their child. I think it’s a little rude and disrespectful… Like how long was he just not gonna tell you? Why is it a secret?
I wouldn’t mind the not telling me when they got married but months after and he didn’t even say hey I got married id be a little upset
It looks like he just made it clear who he sees as “family” -don’t give him the time of day anymore. If he couldn’t even give you the choice to come and be respectful and part of his life he just made it clear he is fine with cutting you out.
He probably eloped and I’d be a bit sad about missing a milestone in his life but you can’t hold it against him. It’s his life and him getting married doesn’t affect you directly so move on and congratulate him. Tbh though, this seems like it’s missing something, if you’re relationship isn’t a bad one then why hasn’t he or her even told you? Odd
Have a conversation with him drawing your own conclusions as to why is pointless if you’re mad feel that but that’s not for others to tell you how to feel
My mom got marry she told me 1 year later I just laughed …because I knew she was going to do that because we didn’t like my step dad…I just didn’t get that part of hiding it from us her own kids…
That’s a pretty rotten thing to do, especially if he had an actual wedding and didn’t invite you! I wonder if you know the wife, have had any type of friendly relationship with her, etc. I can tell you, as a mom of two daughters, they would probably never speak to their dad again if he did that.
It sucks but I’d be more concerned with why he felt the need to hide it from me and I’d have that conversation and let him know he didn’t have to hide it and I would have been supportive. According to your grandmas explanation he was trying to avoid upsetting you so it’s not as though he was just being heartless. He cared about your feelings and thought not telling you was better
Adults are free to do as they please and due to covid get togethers party’s etc were not allowed or were very limited, should he have said something maybe since you would find out eventually but people elope all the time it’s there choice really
My dad got married and didn’t tell my sister or I. Her son was there and some other family. We found out from our grandmother. She’s the reason my dad and I don’t talk anymore
On the opposite end my dad told me less than a week before his wedding and then got pissed and would speak to me when I said I couldn’t make it
Well based on this post I see why he kept quiet.
My dad did this. But when I found out I also found out I had a two yr old sister as well. I was in my young teens when this happened. Honestly I was hurt more than mad. He said he was scared I would be mad that he found someone else to love that wasnt my mom. The way I feel is that its his life. Its none of my business who he loves or what he does. I can be angry that he was scared to tell me or I can be happy that I gained another family member.
My dad JUST did this he’s been remarried several times since he and my mom split though. I’m used to it. Mf flew allll they way to Mexico to meet her for the first time and I guess they decided to get married. Idc that he’s married. I’m more upset about the fact that he would fight me on getting new school clothes, toiletries (including pads) etc growing up because it was “too expensive” yet could fly there and get remarried. Also the fact that EVERYONE else in the family thinks it’s a good idea?!? He’s making her move up here with him. I doubt it’ll last too long. The previous marriage ended bc she was from Canada and she missed her family so idk why he keeps doing this.
My mom got married and told absolutely no one. So me and my husband did the exact same thing. There adults, your an adult, he made his choice and now you have the choice to either get over it and realize that, or let it bother you
Unpopular opinion. But is it really your business ?
Obviously yall are not close or it wouldn’t have taken months for you to notice a ring.
It hurts, but why be upset if he’s happy?
My Mother didn’t invite me to her second wedding but I did know about it. And we all went to Lake of the Ozarks with them that weekend.
I’m not trying to be mean but did you have a good relationship with your dad before he got married? If you didn’t perhaps he felt it wasn’t necessary to say anything to you.
My Mum got married to Hubby #4 while away on vacation. Nope. Not mad. She is an adult. I am an adult. Since it hurt you though, maybe have a talk with your Dad, and let him know it bothers you that he felt a need to avoid the topic. Let him know you are happy for him.
I found out my dad married his wife a year after they got married. It didn’t bother me. Its their life in my opinion. But that my thoughts. I’m distant from bothe parents. I talk to them maybe 5 times a year I see them like once every 3 years.
If you were close to dad why didn’t you ask about the ring when you seen him?
Im sorry, but if ur grown and out of the house and he has been seeing someone that makes him happy to marry. Let him be. Let him do his own thing! He is free from an ex wife/girlfriend, hes old enough to make his own decisions, it shouldn’t affect u at all! Yes at one point u may have been daddys little girl, but come on how long can that really last. U do your thing, ge does his. U wasnt invited for a reason. Due to being so criticizing, jealous, and have something always to say. Move on be happy for him. Grow up! It is what it is!
I wouldn’t care, What another adults decides to do is non of my business, Family or not.
That said he likely didn’t want you stuck in the middle between him and your mum should she react badly, it I wouldn’t be fixating on it.
It hurts to not be included. Especially when others are. I assumed I was invited my dads 2nd wedding. But I wasnt. Her kids were. Shattered my heart at the time. I dont really acknowledge her as part of my kids or my life. Dad has his own life. Which is separate to my relationship with him. It works for us. But it took years to get to.
Id be upset if my mom didn’t tell me she got married. Id love to be apart of her marriage. Yes I would be hurt. But maybe talk to your dad and see why he didn’t tell you? Also…ignore the PIECES OF SH*T PEOPLE THAT SAY OTHERWISE. Just saying. 🤷🤷🤷🤷
you don’t have a bad relationship but had to ask your grandmom if he got married. why not just ask him when you saw the ring?
I hate the woman my dad married…I’d be devastated if he didn’t at least invite me. I went. Still hate her.
It would majorly hurt my feelings which would cause me to pull away from that parent. Hey your dad is an adult, but if he doesn’t include you in his life, then why include him in yours petty I know
If I ever get married a second time I’m not telling anyone until it’s over. I had maybe 14 people at my wedding and that thing still had a pretty high price tag. Although your feelings are still valid so if it’s bothering you then definitely have a talk with him.
Yes!! My dad did it to me!!! I’m so sorry. I was at the mall with my friends and they had just gotten married and we’re so proud to tell me. Wasn’t totally out of the blue but I was going to be in the wedding. Thank goodness I missed that shit show. She was the worse thing and I mean Thing that ever came into my dad’s life. After my dad died, all of the kids said peace. Keep everything, none of us ever talked to her again. I’m sorry your dad did you dirty like that.
It’s a pandemic. Large gatherings are unnecessary.
You aren’t that close if you just noticed the ring, didn’t talk about his relationship or plans to get married.
Does it matter that much? Did anything dramatically change since he got married? Or is the only change since you found out, your attitude and feelings toward him?
He is avoiding drama
It’s his life, to live. He does not have to inform you, you are over 18 as is he. It has nothing to do with you or your children.