My bio father did this. I was 8 but it still hurt. They didn’t want me there for some reason. Knowing his wife she probably had some paranoid idea that my mom would’ve interfered. She wouldn’t have. She was married to much better, responsible, respectable man than he ever would be.
If I was a teen or adult when he got married I would’ve cut off contact. Not telling me something this important means he had no respect for me. Why waste your time on someone who doesn’t respect you?
Actions speak louder than words. Always pay a lot of attention to actions. Less to words.
I was 16 when my dad got married I found out 3 days later on someone else Facebook, I didn’t even know he was engaged, I was pissed of big time
Wow. He should have told you.
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He should of told you ! But it’s not something to feed on
It wouldn’t bother me…unless the other person was doing some shady crap…he grown, u grown…he doesn’t have to tell u
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My dad did the same when I was younger. Honestly didn’t care it was his 3rd marriage! Even if he got married again without telling me it wouldn’t bother me.
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Mine got remarried too with out telling anyone. Found out through his dad because he accidentally said something I was upset.
It wouldn’t bother me if it was my dad, but my mom? Yeah because we’re close!
I was 8 when that happened. I was hurt because her children (who lived with her ex) were a part of the ceremony.
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My dad did the same, for different reasons. First myself and my siblings knew of it was when he turned up introducing her as our new step mum. Not one of us cared, even the grandkids just shrugged it off. x
Me and my husband got married and told people after the fact. It wouldn’t bother me. If they had a big wedding and all that then maybe I would care, but if it was just a small thing then nah it wouldn’t bother me.
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Hmmmm… me and my guy are planning on eloping… we both have grown children… don’t plan on telling any of them… we’re all adults 💁
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Like you I’d be more upset at not being told 
If you are an adult with your own life. (It sounds like you are) …he’s done his job with you, meaning he doesn’t owe anything to you. Not even an explanation for getting married and not telling you. He’s an ADULT (and so what of your parents don’t get along) you’re GROWN They already did the job of raising you. AND NO IF IT WAS ME I WOULDN’T CARE. SO STFU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LET HIM BE HAPPY.
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Thats a rotten thing for him to do to you. Wow. Really upsetting. I do not blame you.
It really doesn’t matter how other people feel … he’s your dad and you know your relationship better than anyone. That said, it’s clear you obviously feel you have the kind of relationship in which you expect he would’ve told you/invited you. No matter how he feels about your mom, he should never use that against you in any way as you shouldn’t be put in the middle. That’s just my opinion.
Is it possible you can try to talk to him about how you feel and get the answers you’re searching for right from him?
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Depends on the situation. Seems weird he wouldn’t tell you or invite any of you then again with pandemic happening maybe he felt best not to. If they dudn’t have an actual wedding then I could understand. I would think he would have at least called you and informed you of everything. He is your dad. That seems odd to me
I’d be super angry. I would be petty and bring him and his new wife over a wedding gift and congratulate them so he felt guilty 
My parents got married when I was at school never even new they was getting married😂 never bothered me😁 doesn’t affect you’re life so I wouldn’t let it bother you😁
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If he got married a few months ago, I would say your relationship doesn’t appear as solid as you think. Why didn’t you ask him when you saw the wedding ring? Maybe he just thought that you did not care.
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Your dad eloped. Nothing new. Congratulate your dad and move forward.
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I mean it depends honestly, I got married and my whole family found out through my Facebook update 
it was a short lived marriage 
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It’s his life, he doesn’t have to tell anyone.
Go give him and step mom a hug. Tell them you love them! Tell them congratulations! Sounds like they were trying to avoid drama. Help them avoid it. Embrace them with acceptance, love and joy
My dad ran off and got married with just her kids there. We have Haven’t had a good relationship since. You have to make time for the people who make time for you.
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I think there’s more to this story…
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I would be upset. Yes you are grown but they are still your parents and you are still their child. I think it’s a little rude and disrespectful… Like how long was he just not gonna tell you? Why is it a secret?
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I wouldn’t mind the not telling me when they got married but months after and he didn’t even say hey I got married id be a little upset
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It looks like he just made it clear who he sees as “family” -don’t give him the time of day anymore. If he couldn’t even give you the choice to come and be respectful and part of his life he just made it clear he is fine with cutting you out.
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He probably eloped and I’d be a bit sad about missing a milestone in his life but you can’t hold it against him. It’s his life and him getting married doesn’t affect you directly so move on and congratulate him. Tbh though, this seems like it’s missing something, if you’re relationship isn’t a bad one then why hasn’t he or her even told you? Odd
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Have a conversation with him drawing your own conclusions as to why is pointless if you’re mad feel that but that’s not for others to tell you how to feel
That’s a pretty rotten thing to do, especially if he had an actual wedding and didn’t invite you! I wonder if you know the wife, have had any type of friendly relationship with her, etc. I can tell you, as a mom of two daughters, they would probably never speak to their dad again if he did that.
It sucks but I’d be more concerned with why he felt the need to hide it from me and I’d have that conversation and let him know he didn’t have to hide it and I would have been supportive. According to your grandmas explanation he was trying to avoid upsetting you so it’s not as though he was just being heartless. He cared about your feelings and thought not telling you was better
Adults are free to do as they please and due to covid get togethers party’s etc were not allowed or were very limited, should he have said something maybe since you would find out eventually but people elope all the time it’s there choice really
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My dad got married and didn’t tell my sister or I. Her son was there and some other family. We found out from our grandmother. She’s the reason my dad and I don’t talk anymore
On the opposite end my dad told me less than a week before his wedding and then got pissed and would speak to me when I said I couldn’t make it
Well based on this post I see why he kept quiet.
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My dad did this. But when I found out I also found out I had a two yr old sister as well. I was in my young teens when this happened. Honestly I was hurt more than mad. He said he was scared I would be mad that he found someone else to love that wasnt my mom. The way I feel is that its his life. Its none of my business who he loves or what he does. I can be angry that he was scared to tell me or I can be happy that I gained another family member.
My dad JUST did this 
he’s been remarried several times since he and my mom split though. I’m used to it. Mf flew allll they way to Mexico to meet her for the first time and I guess they decided to get married. Idc that he’s married. I’m more upset about the fact that he would fight me on getting new school clothes, toiletries (including pads) etc growing up because it was “too expensive” yet could fly there and get remarried. Also the fact that EVERYONE else in the family thinks it’s a good idea?!? He’s making her move up here with him. I doubt it’ll last too long. The previous marriage ended bc she was from Canada and she missed her family so idk why he keeps doing this.
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My mom got married and told absolutely no one. So me and my husband did the exact same thing. There adults, your an adult, he made his choice and now you have the choice to either get over it and realize that, or let it bother you
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Unpopular opinion. But is it really your business ?
Obviously yall are not close or it wouldn’t have taken months for you to notice a ring.
It hurts, but why be upset if he’s happy?
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My Mother didn’t invite me to her second wedding but I did know about it. And we all went to Lake of the Ozarks with them that weekend.
I’m not trying to be mean but did you have a good relationship with your dad before he got married? If you didn’t perhaps he felt it wasn’t necessary to say anything to you.
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My Mum got married to Hubby #4 while away on vacation. Nope. Not mad. She is an adult. I am an adult. Since it hurt you though, maybe have a talk with your Dad, and let him know it bothers you that he felt a need to avoid the topic. Let him know you are happy for him.
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I found out my dad married his wife a year after they got married. It didn’t bother me. Its their life in my opinion. But that my thoughts. I’m distant from bothe parents. I talk to them maybe 5 times a year I see them like once every 3 years.
If you were close to dad why didn’t you ask about the ring when you seen him?
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Im sorry, but if ur grown and out of the house and he has been seeing someone that makes him happy to marry. Let him be. Let him do his own thing! He is free from an ex wife/girlfriend, hes old enough to make his own decisions, it shouldn’t affect u at all! Yes at one point u may have been daddys little girl, but come on how long can that really last. U do your thing, ge does his. U wasnt invited for a reason. Due to being so criticizing, jealous, and have something always to say. Move on be happy for him. Grow up! It is what it is!
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I wouldn’t care, What another adults decides to do is non of my business, Family or not.
That said he likely didn’t want you stuck in the middle between him and your mum should she react badly, it I wouldn’t be fixating on it.
It hurts to not be included. Especially when others are. I assumed I was invited my dads 2nd wedding. But I wasnt. Her kids were. Shattered my heart at the time. I dont really acknowledge her as part of my kids or my life. Dad has his own life. Which is separate to my relationship with him. It works for us. But it took years to get to.
Id be upset if my mom didn’t tell me she got married. Id love to be apart of her marriage. Yes I would be hurt. But maybe talk to your dad and see why he didn’t tell you? Also…ignore the PIECES OF SH*T PEOPLE THAT SAY OTHERWISE. Just saying. 🤷🤷🤷🤷
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you don’t have a bad relationship but had to ask your grandmom if he got married. why not just ask him when you saw the ring?
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I hate the woman my dad married…I’d be devastated if he didn’t at least invite me. I went. Still hate her.
It would majorly hurt my feelings which would cause me to pull away from that parent. Hey your dad is an adult, but if he doesn’t include you in his life, then why include him in yours petty I know
If I ever get married a second time I’m not telling anyone until it’s over. I had maybe 14 people at my wedding and that thing still had a pretty high price tag. Although your feelings are still valid so if it’s bothering you then definitely have a talk with him.
Yes!! My dad did it to me!!! I’m so sorry. I was at the mall with my friends and they had just gotten married and we’re so proud to tell me. Wasn’t totally out of the blue but I was going to be in the wedding. Thank goodness I missed that shit show. She was the worse thing and I mean Thing that ever came into my dad’s life. After my dad died, all of the kids said peace. Keep everything, none of us ever talked to her again. I’m sorry your dad did you dirty like that.
It’s a pandemic. Large gatherings are unnecessary.
You aren’t that close if you just noticed the ring, didn’t talk about his relationship or plans to get married.
Does it matter that much? Did anything dramatically change since he got married? Or is the only change since you found out, your attitude and feelings toward him?
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It’s his life, to live. He does not have to inform you, you are over 18 as is he. It has nothing to do with you or your children.
I believe it is best for a parent to let their child know they are getting married even though the child may have a hard time accepting it. As a widow myself, my grown daughter refused to accept the only relationship I have had since her father died.
I think you need to have a serious calm but frank discussion with your dad and ask why he didn’t tell you, REALLY. Explain how you feel to him, then go from there. This is much more complicated than the few facts given to render a constructive opinion.
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Yes. Just like a parent would be upset if their child got married without sharing that tidbit with them. Goes both ways.
I wouldn’t care lol we are all adults here. Id congratulate my parent and be on with my life lol
I would not care, if I knew about it but the fact it was hidden I would be beyond angry. If my dad was afraid I would be upset if he told me I would go over to his house I would introduce myself to his wife say welcome to the family and then I would turn around to him and yell at him You thought I would be upset about you getting married I am not I am upset and pissed you thought so little of me and your grandkids that you choose not to tell us and leave us out of your life well you may have your wish were not part of your life until you learn how to respect us as part of the family. I would turn to the wife say this is not about you but about how he handled things and then walk out.
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Frankly I wish my dad would than he would not be my problem anymore. My mom passed away when I was 9 leaving my brother and I with a narcissistic asshole that would not let my grandparents take custody of us because he didn’t want to loose the money he got for us after my mom passed. As soon as we were 18/no longer in school and that money stopped coming in he couldn’t get rid of us fast enough. I was glad to be away from him until I had no choice but to move in with him to flee an abusive relationship. Then I felt trapped again.
I would be upset if my dad didn’t tell me but not my mom cuz she does whatever the hell she wants anyways.
My dad did this too. He invited her kids, and didn’t even tell us about till later, some time later. But I didn’t get mad. He just showed their true colors. It was always with her kids. He never worried about us. Didn’t hear from him much.
I would be so sad but would not let him know u know if he hated your mom that much that mean s he was a good dad I would just let pass it u will l loose beautiful enemy kids DONT need. To know he Wii suffer as the older
( a good new wife should have respected you.) Bless.
Nope it is his life and as long as he is happy and the woman is good to him I would wish him the best. When I get married I don’t want ANYBODY there but the person I am marrying and the person doing the ceremony anybody else would be a distraction. Between us we have 4 kids, a gang of grandkids, siblings, and parents and they are all going to have to understand my wedding is not about them so don’t take it personally.
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What makes people think they are entitled to be a part of someone else’s day? If a couple wants to elope or do something personal they should be able to do so without worrying about someone getting offended. The day is special to the couple and should be able to be done how they see fit.
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I’d be upset that they didn’t at least tell me, but I wouldn’t expect my “blessing” to be required. Why did he think you’d be upset? Seems like something is missing.
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No, they’re grown and so are you its their life
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I wouldn’t be upset. It’s his life. If he wanted me to be a part of it, I would have been. Life is short. I don’t tell my dad every detail of my life. And if I had an issue, I would have asked him directly, not went to the grandparents first.
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My father got married without telling me. We weren’t really talking. At least I don’t think so.
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I’d be upset, especially if others were there.
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My dad called his girlfriend his wife to someone the other day. I almost choked. I couldn’t even mention it to him because I didn’t want to hear that he is married. So I had my husband ask him . He said he wasn’t and it was an accident
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They are grown ups and will do what they do. If yall are close I can understand the hurt. What’s done is done though so proceed with maturity. Just sit him down, tell him you know, and express how happy you are for him and that it just hurt you couldn’t be apart of his happiness. That’s really all you can do now. Accept its happened and make peace with it. Mabe offer to throw a shindig for them or a little gathering that you can be apart of to honor his nuptials.
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Honestly, talk to your dad about it and explain how it made you feel to not be invited or know anything about it. It’s ok to be upset because he is your dad (id be upset with my mom if she did the same because it would rather hurt to not know or be able to be a part of a happy life changing moment.) But i would still talk to him about it to find out his reasoning behind it
I would definitely be upset if he didn’t tell me.
Maybe hurt,more than mad.
Meh, my dad and step mom eloped. I was definitely happy for them. I was still a little bummed I wasn’t able to be there though.
Maybe he view his relationship with you no different than your mom and you don’t know it.
Hmm to let you know is a courtesy, you are a blood relation after all.
If there is no underlying problems or issues between you and your father yeah I would be quite personally upset if I was you.
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I would not get mad if they got married I’d be mad the didn’t tell me so me the daughter can share their special moment
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Like a wedding or courthouse?
Yeah I would be upset if he didn’t tell me.
Do you not like his new wife ? Why didn’t he tell you ? His feelings for your mother should have nothing to do with you. I’m so spiteful I would never forget that .
I found out on Facebook that my dad was remarried. There’s a bunch of other junk leading up to it that makes it a really crappy situation but I was more annoyed then mad. I was 27 so I didn’t understand why I wasn’t important enough to know that it had happened…definitely didn’t help our relationship 
Yea my dad went abroad and got married and I didnt know till couple years later when I seen a pic, he just said he wanted it small. Not bothered by it though
I have a great relationship with my mom and if she got married without me I would definitely be upset
Depending on the circumstances like if he had been planning for months then yes he should have at least told you.
I wouldnt care dont do weddings so wouldnt b there regardless
Honestly it shouldn’t matter. It was probably a small ceremony of him and his new wife. Yes my dad remarried no I was not invited to the wedding no one was. No it does not bother me because he married the love of his life and he is happy and that is all I care about. Also he is in his 70’s to him marriage is between him his wife and god.
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I wouldnt be mad about it.
Mom went to the Court House to marry the guy. I am glad I didn’t know cause I really didn’t like this man!! He proved me right what a devious man he was. I wasn’t mad at Mom just wasn’t pleased with her choice for a husband.
No your a grown adult he don’t have to explain his life to anyone if he don’t wanna. Maybe it’s was just the two of them. He don’t need to share every detail of his life
He is a grown ass man with grown children lol. It’s his life.
