would you be mad if your husband went straight to the bar after work instead of coming home to you and your kids? he does this every night foir at least 30 mins just to have one beer, then comes home…he said its a chance to unwind before walking in and helping with the kids…but i feel its unfair since im literally here all day
187 Likes
no.
If he’s a one and done kinda guy, I would not be upset. Jealous and telling him I wanna go out a few times a week without kids, him, etc. But if he’s there for one, and comes right home, leave him to it.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would you be mad if your husband went to the bar everyday after work?
Yeap. Time to grow up.
1 Like
Take your 30min break when he gets home.
1 Like
It could be hour’s but 30 minutes nit bad at all.
6 Likes
Every night is selfish
2 Likes
I don’t think it’s unreasonable but definitely unfair if you aren’t also getting your 30mins per day to do whatever u want too
No! 30 minutes…really?
1 Like
Get a sitter for a couple of days a week and join him at the bar!
2 Likes
Yupp no reason to go everyday. Maybe like twice a week would be okay but I better get the same in return 
I deserve a break from these kids:rofl:
1 Like
As soon as he comes in say my turn , and go do you for 30 minutes mama! A bath or nice long shower .
11 Likes
I’d want to leave for 30 mins-1 hour when he walked in the door then.
you got a break, now enjoy feeding everyone dinner, bathing and bathtime. I’ll be back later. 
4 Likes
It’s weird because I feel like I would be upset but My husband goes to the gym everyday and it takes longer then 30 mins lol he better not be having fun without me lol
1 Like
I have a 30 min drive thank goodness . Everyone needs some time to unwind .
1 Like
If he was drinking one and coming home I wouldn’t mind. If he stayed at the bar and partied it would be a different story.
2 Likes
Once in a while is okay but why is there a reason every day? That’s very fishy.
8 Likes
Nope i wouldn’t be mad I’d get a head start so when he walks into the bar my presence is already there way ahead of him that would make him think twice about going to the bar acting single
1 Like
Heres a compromise…Give him his 30 at the bar, then take yourself an hour when he gets home!
1 Like
If it keeps him from being moody or rude with the kids and you, it’s worth it. Work it out where you get 30 minutes to yourself when he gets home or at some point in the evening. Everyone needs down time including you!
He can go home n get that rest to. U don’t do that so y does he get to? Every once in awhile is fine but not everyday. Thatd seems a lil fishy to me. Does he ever ask u to go with him ever…
1 Like
I understand his side, because that time he gets to cool off from work means he isn’t going to be frustrated & bring a bad day from work home to you… but also it’s only fair & okay if YOU get that 30 minutes to yourself also once he gets home.
If you aren’t getting your me time every evening also, then it’s totally unfair & not okay.
3 Likes
He told you to unwind so he can be there to help if it’s only one beer let him have it
30 minutes would be fine by me
3 Likes
Next time he comes home… walk right out the door and go somewhere for 30 min. See how he likes it.
2 Likes
When he gets home everyday say ok now I’m going out for an hour to unwind.
3 Likes
Not one beer for 30 minutes. If it was for hours and came home drunk and driving. That would be a problem. When he gets home take you me time. Bubble bath wine whatever makes you happy.
4 Likes
Why? He didn’t party all night. And besides I think you’re getting burn-out being a sahm, if you are contented being a mom, you shouldn’t think how bad your husband for unwinding for 30 mins. 
1 Like
I probably wouldn’t blame my husband if he did. I can’t imagine coming home to all of this chaos 
1 Like
I needed 30 minutes to unwind but I had opportunity to walk the beach.
Oh it would not happen… Might happen a few times but I would not put up with it everyday no way
It’s ok. As long is not an alcohol problem, 30 minutes is ok
1 Like
I see no problem if he is helping at home.
I seriously wouldn’t and dont mind if he stopped to have 1 to unwind cos ik when he comes home he relieves me even tho their 11,15 n 16
Personally I would not be. However make a trade you get 30 mins with headphones on doors locked, bath on
Is he seeing someone else and is he really at the bar because its odd one beer for 30 min
1 Like
Oh i totally would love if my hubby did this. Its 30 minutes. Good chance to unwind. You know you are allowed time to do things like this too. Its not a game tho. If you need some time out then go to a friends for a wine or coffee.
2 Likes
Wait till they don’t come home at all.
1 Like
How long does it take for you both to have sex ? Might rule out a few questions.
Not really I get it. I was the bread winner for years and honestly after a days work I could’ve done the same lol xx
I’d be jealous. And resentful. Probably help you feel a lot better if you got a little breather too.
Meh… soon as he walks in, go to the bar yourself for 30 minutes… win win
7 Likes
Well, usually one turns into 2 and so on and so forth. What if he’s had a bad day. Them comes in and says we’ll, I had more than one because I had a bad day. It’s all excuses. Talk to him about drinking and driving. Even one is too many to drive on. Ask him if he can have that one at home
6 Likes
Disclaimer: I didn’t read past the first sentence.
But hell yea, I’d be mad
4 Likes
If it’s just 30 mins, I would not be. Now, you get into 2-3 hours, we gonna have a problem
7 Likes
Sounds like u would like same break, so make it soo
1 Like
I take 30 minutes to myself when I get home to smoke a shit ton of weed and destress from my Day. I dont see an issue with that
Nah, he can go to the bar as long as he still helping with the kids. If I’m home it’s cause I choose to be home. He wouldn’t stop me if I wanted to go out so I wouldn’t stop him either.
30 minutes doesn’t hurt anyone. You rather him come home wound tf up?
Chances are this is deeper than just being “unfair”
3 Likes
No. I just went out when I wanted to, sane as him. I don’t own him and he doesn’t own me. When we had kids and he got sick, those same friends he hung out with were there for him😎
Honestly if that’s his after work chill time then let him be… If he’s a hard worker and provider then he deserves 30 minutes to himself to have 1 beer and ‘him time’…
8 Likes
When he comes in to help what do you do? Do you grab a beer and go take a long bubble bath or do you still take care of the kids
Let him have his time to de-stress after work, then you can take some me time after he’s home
Just tell him to bring a drink home for u too.
I say grow up he works all day and have you ever asked him to stay with kids so you can go out for a drink
1 Like
So you want him home a half an hour earlier angry, frustrated, resentful and stressed? I think you need to pick your battles. If he comes home and pitches in and helps with the kids and house every night you’re winning.
2 Likes
When he gets home you go out for 30mins to just to unwind
3 Likes
Took 2 to have kids, takes 2 to raise them too! Come home and sit in the driveway and unwind in your vehicle if you need to…listen to some good music on the way home… but come home and help.
5 Likes
As long as you do it too. Fair is fair. 
Why can’t he just have a beer and unwind at home is my ?
3 Likes
Depends on what his job is. Sometimes guys need that 30-60 minutes to wind down from work in order to not be stressed out as bad when we go home
Next time he comes home from the bar, head out to the bar yourself and tell him.
5 Likes
It depends… If he has a long commute or works long hours then yes I’d be pissed. If he has a regular 9-5 and a short commute then no.
If it’s only 30 minutes then ehhh. I mean some choose bar, some choose gym, some choose video games. As long as it’s only half hour and I’m not sinking ship Idc. My sinking ship time day is dinner and bed time. I absolutely need help with that. Only times is when he’s got OT which we know ahead of time so I’m able to plan ahead. Im the I need to know ahead of type kind. The last minute stuff what irks me lol
2 Likes
So after he’s done “unwinding” it’s your turn to take a few minutes to yourself. He can take care of the kids for 30 minutes or an hour.
He should of thought about that before getting married… unwind?? What the fuckery is that 
1 Like
As long as he’s spending time with his kids, gives you time to unwind yourself and helping where it’s needed at home he more then deserves it and you’re just overreacting.
3 Likes
So, you haven’t worked out to take time for you at some point?
No need to be a maryter and expect him to do it too.
I definitely think he needs time to himself and so do you…but a beer every night? Alcohol is so bad for you…every now and again fine but everyday 
1 Like
I wouldn’t mind as long as I got some time to myself daily as well.
1 Like
You lucky because I woulda told you I worked that 30 mins, be thankful he’s not like me 
4 Likes
Who cares. Let him be. Go and have a beer when he gets home, if it’s that big of a deal.
6 Likes
No its actually really productive for your families well being
3 Likes
It’s only 30 minutes! Think yourself lucky. I’m sure lots of other spouses, stay out alot longer than 30 mins, all night even. Maybe you could organise an outing for just yourself, on the weekends?? A morning out. A lunch, a dinner. Anything! By yourself! So you don’t feel as if you’re getting no alone time.
8 Likes
Offer to drink a beer with him when he gets home
Ash Spiker not your life don’t judge what others are willing to accept and not accept
Not at all…let him go. Then when he gets home, head out for yourself for an hour. Go for a walk, go for a drive, go to the gym.
7 Likes
This shouldn’t be about unfair, but rather him being disrespectful of you and the children. How long is his commute home? He can use that time to unwind, and if his job is so much on him that he needs to unwind, maybe he should consider changing jobs.
2 Likes
Yep not ok with that
30 mins…nope that’s cool. Work/home/work/home/work/home. He’s smart. It’s not much time and he’s getting it to himself.
5 Likes
I’d probably be mad every single night but if not I for sure would be jealous 
I need to be saved lol we have 6 kids it gets insane around dinner time!
1 Like
I think that’s really healthy honestly. As long as you get your 30 mins as well. If that’s a walk around the neighborhood with a friend,a trip to Starbucks,or just a long relaxing shower. Everyone needs time to decompress.
7 Likes
Oh my lord the women on here make me so grateful I have the partner I do! Absolutely nuts.
6 Likes
After my SO separated I found out one day, while at this bar, from HIS friend that the bar was my SO bar of choice and he went daily after work. Allllll of the 10 years we were together. He was a regular and I had no idea. Three daughters, working 10 hour days,I was the only one who ever did daycare pick up and drop offs…. Here I thought he worked till 5 most days when really he got off at 3… over 10 years and I had no idea. All it did was validate my unhappiness. If he’s being open and honest with you I would listen to him. You don’t want to lose that trust. 
2 Likes
I wouldn’t be okay with that.
1 Like
Absolutely let the man unwind, especially if he’s walking into a house full of kids and a wife or girlfriend ready to tap out. I’m shocked it’s only a half hr
3 Likes
Apparently the consensus of this post is marriage and kids means you can’t even have 30 mins to yourself lol
4 Likes
I went through this for many years… 30 min became an HR to 2 hrs and get that call oh I’m be home after this round…he drank himself into cirrhosis after everyday drinks after work… Good luck honey
2 Likes
Not really!!! 30 minutes is not that bad , and if that help him to relax from his work and not take it to the house kudos to him , you said that he helps with the kids when he gets home, maybe he do it because he is relax and on a good mood.
I think you should do the same , take some times to your self .
You can go to the gym , take a walk , even go out for a drink as well
4 Likes
You need to stop and ask yourself why your upset and address that issue. I can understand the concern of the daily beer and the expense it makes. Does your husband actually come home and help out with the kids? Does he let you get a break?(maybe this is what you need a break yoyrself.) What kind of job does he have? Is it a high stress job and that 30min what helps him not bring work home so he can be an active part of the family and not take it out on you? Before making this bigger then needed figure out why it bothers you and how to fix it.
5 Likes
Yeah I dont see the problem with this .! Now if it were everyday for hours than I’d have an issue
I understand u want to see him an get a little help with the kids and hang out or what ever as a family but 30 minutes isnt horrible he needs time to breath and just have a few to himself .
I feel its boarder line controlling on your part
3 Likes
Nope. My husband goes to the bar after work & I don’t care lol we only have one child together so it’s not hard. Plus our daughter is in daycare so I have the day to myself until about 5pm.
1 Like
You gotta let him breathe. He’s at work all day… so he needs a break too. Just make sure you’re getting your own time. Gotta find a balance. Sometimes my husband and I will find a babysitter and we will go for dinner and drinks together. Sometimes on a nice day, he will want to go for a bike ride and stop for a few drinks himself… and there are times I just need to go out for a few drinks to unwind myself. He goes with family/friends… and I usually end up going with his sister or mother 
We go to our local spots… and send snaps to eachother… it’s all about communication honestly. But 30 mins, I don’t think is something to be upset about, guy deserves a mental break too 
3 Likes
Every day. I understand once in a while. He needs to let you get that 30 minute break occasionally
1 Like
If he was there for longer than 30 minutes EVERY DAY. Yes. Id have a problem. But if this is his routine, let the man be!
4 Likes
You can tell who on this post is most likely to get cheated on lol
2 Likes
I mean 30 mins doesn’t seem like a long time at all. My husband goes and smokes with his friends for 30 to 45 mins everyday after work to unwind. I see nothing wrong with it. Not like he’s gone all night
2 Likes
If it’s only 30 minutes, no I wouldn’t mind. But I used to be married to a guy that, once he got to the bar, it was like he forgot he had a home. We didn’t have young kids then, but he would stop by the bar on payday and go through half his check, buying rounds and playing pool. It got to be a financial hardship as well as the fact that he would drive home when he shouldn’t even have been legal to walk home, pass out in the yard for God knows how long. I couldn’t get him up to come inside. He was too heavy. I would just have to leave him there till he sobered up enough to come in on his own. I had a little dog. Once he came in drunk and keeled over. Almost fell on my dog. I locked him out of the bedroom on that. He could’ve killed her. I didn’t have to bother. He didn’t wake up till morning anyway. I tried to help him stop. I went to Al-Anon. And I knew I couldn’t take it anymore. He wasn’t going to quit unless he wanted to. He didn’t want to. We broke up. If your husband isn’t like that, is just having one beer and coming home? Count yourself lucky and ease up.
3 Likes
Better than him not coming home! His shit would be pasted all over town!
Yes it’s ok, as long as he comes home and is there for everything else.
2 Likes