He walks in and you walk out saying “It’s your turn. I need to unwind, back in 30”
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My husband smokes with his coworkers after work every day. He needs that time, and I won’t even think of that being a negative thing at all. We all need a break. Some choose a beer, others choose smoking. We all need a way to unwind.
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I went through that for 20 yrs and he would say one beer and be gone all eve and get home around 9ish sometimes later. It’s so unfair. I was with kids all day and nite. Am disabled and just did it all alone. I know how u feel. So unfair. Just be glad it’s one beer and not a lot or he stays there to socialize for hours.
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One beer? Let him relax a minute and have a separation from work to coming home!
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He helps with the kids ??? Than wow u are very lucky count your blessings
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Give him the kids and take a run with a neighbor
He can have a beer at home…
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I would feel very odd about the situation but trust him & eventually i will find out the truth & i will be hurt but thats just me what would happen to me i feel like anyway. But it could be really nothing that he wants to have a drink everyday after work. How about one day you join him? Have someone watch your kids while you go out with him & have some fun? Can be once in a while thing or something for you & your man.
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Now I see the reason he wants to unwind and mentally prepare himself before coming home ,give the guy a break,yes you’re home all the time but he is out there facing all sorts of adversaries ,war at work,mistreatment from the public (depending on the type of work he does) listen men meet it hard too but they were taught to suck it up and be a man while women were taught to express themselves ,cry it out etc.let him live a little that’s my point
At least he doesn’t spend all night there like my dad used to do, he’s just trying to unwind after a long day of work and since it’s only 30 minutes I don’t see a problem with it, seems awfully harmless.
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As soon as he gets home you go do you for 30mins. Simple and everyone wins
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If u can go every day for 30 minutes and it doesn’t bother him, then it shouldn’t bother u. He gets what he gives 
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Let him unwind, 30 minutes isn’t to long
Only reason I’d be upset is cuz I miss him and I have no adult interaction all day lol these kids are crazy 
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I wouldn’t care…it’s only 30 mins. I sit in my car every morning outside my house for 20-30 mins when I get home from work.Everybody needs a way to unwind. If you don’t think it’s fair then talk to him when and tell him what you want to do to I unwind and he’s gonna have the kids for 30 mins when he gets home
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I’d ask for your own 30 minutes, if he’s cool with that I’d be cool with his time to unwind. If not, I’d be a bit upset:
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No, I think you need to take that decompression time too tho. Especially depending on his job, the length of his commute. Some people need that time to get their head adjusted.
then literally don’t be there all day. Many single moms make it work everyday. You can find a way to find a job and purpose of your own so you aren’t fixated on the wrong things that only cause tension in your marriage. If the man is providing for you and your kids—count your blessings and let them man have a beer. 30 mins?!?! Jesus. That’s considerate as fuck of him!
A lot of these people set the bar low. No, you’re not wrong for expecting him to come home.
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So when he gets in…walk out for 30 mins and leave him to the kids every night he does it. Get your moment too.
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Wouldn’t bother me. I’d hand over the children and go take the same amount of time each day though. Only fair and having time to ourselves is important!
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I’m not understanding your issue here. Just because we get married, doesn’t mean that person MUST devote all of their waking time with you. A beer after work? There’s nothing wrong with that. He’s still a human, he’s also a grown ass man who can go to the bar after work for a drink or two before coming home to deal with all the “at home” things. Sometimes, we need a moment of peace.
I think let him be. You say it’s 30 minutes let him have that chance to unwind, hes being honest. Maybe discuss with him a possibility of you having some unwind time.
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He def wouldnt have leveled up to husband from boyfriend
He can unwind at home without going to the bar
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I mean…he deserves time to himself
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Let your man gather his own sanity. But it does work both ways where you should get your time too, but this isn’t a problem to bring to social Media
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30 min isn’t a big deal, but maybe tell him you also need 30 min when he gets home.
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It’s only 30 mins let him breathe…
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It’s 30 mins girl. It’s not like he’s out all night. You take your 30 mins. If you want this marriage to work you both need your space and downtime.
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He comes home and helps with the kids and all he asks for is 30 minutes to drink a beer? Sounds like maybe he needs to be the one complaining about how selfish his wife is.
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You are so petty and it’s no wonder he wants to go to the bar instead of being at home with a nagging wife 
let the man have some time to himself, it’s only 30 minutes and he does come home and help you out does he not!!! Plus you can have your time too when he come home, so childish!!!
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It wouldn’t bother me if it’s only 30 minutes but I’d want some unwinding time too.
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My boyfriend takes the long way home, an extra 5 minutes.
Some nights I wish he wouldn’t, but it’s only 5 minutes. By the time the text would get to him saying to come straight home instead that I’m in SOS mode, he’d still already be home even with the extra drive.
He gets an extra 5 minute drive coming home (it’s only a 5 minute drive normally, so he gets 10 minutes after work) to unwind and switch gears from work to dad mode.
Because then he is on dad duty until he goes to work in the morning.
no why should 30 minutes matter hes the bread winner
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If it was 30 minutes no. If it was hours yes.
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Ummmm no…BUT I would say that you need time to yourself too. While Im extremely thankful for my couple days off a month…not everyone gets to have a few nights off a month to where the word mommy doesn’t exist. But I would say communicating that you need time to also unwind is 100% needed to your partner and go from there!
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It’s important for people to have time to themselves. If he’s only asking for 30 minutes…then I wouldn’t make a deal about it. As long as you get your time as well though.
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If he’s doing that every time than hopefully he’s making it fair and let’s you go do your own thing too for a bit to destress after a long day with the kids. If he’s fair about it than no, I wouldn’t care. As long as he’s not out all night long.
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It’s not childish as were with the kids for 24 hours 7 days a week add your 30 mins up for a week and you’ll have 3 and 1/2 hours to do and go anywhere by yourself
I don’t think I would be mad. Completely understandable to have some me time as long as I am getting it too. Has to be fair.
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What does he do for work? If it’s labor intensive, I’d understand him unwinding a bit before coming home.
I’d probably be irritated too so I recommend taking off for an hour when he gets home so you get a chance to catch a break too .
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what’s the issue? seriously… pick your battles…
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30min. Thats pretty damn reasonable. Hopefully u get 30min of unwind time too when hes home!
Hey it could be worse. He could be lying saying he’s working late or something rather than telling your selfish self where he actually is 
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If you are getting an equal amount of 30 mins to yourself than I wouldn’t care
Not if he’s also compromising on my self time as well.
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I think its ok for him to let off steam
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It’s only 30 mins be thankful It’s not 2 or 3 hours
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Are you mad because he’s going to the bar for 30 minutes a day? Or because you feel like YOU aren’t getting that same luxury as well?
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My husband goes but it’s usually for a couple hours. His coworkers always pay for his beers, sometimes he asks me if I’m okay with him going and sometimes he has a complete brain fart and doesn’t tell me until he’s been there for an hour or so. It does irritate the hell out of me but we both have pretty bad ADHD 
He’s not alone,many men do that every day.
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Are you serious? I’m a stay at home mom also with a 2.5 year old, a 15 month old, and currently 29 weeks pregnant so I deal with mine all day as well. If my husband stops for 1 one beer after working all day and puts him in a decent mood before walking into complete chaos, hell no I wouldn’t be mad. He’s out there busting his ass daily to provide for y’all, let the man stop and drink a beer or two.
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Self care is important for mental peace. I sit in my driveway a good 20-30 minutes on Facebook or surfing news. Because as soon as I walk inside it will be chaos for an hour or so. If it’s not all night, let him have his 30 min drink
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No. I thought you were going to say he was there all night or something. But 30 minutes? No big deal. Let the man unwind
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Nope. I often sit in my car for 20 minutes and catch up on FB switch gears etc before I head home from work.
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Tell me you ungrateful without telling me you ungrateful. He unwinds then he helps? That’s great! Most women don’t even get help
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No but take your 30 mins
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I would have literally sold my soul to have a man come home from work and help with our 5 children. There’s just over a year between each of them but I still found time in the day to have half an hour to myself when the baby had a nap . The children weren’t all at home all day . Some in school or pre school . Just be happy that he comes home and helps you . Many men don’t even come home until the children are in bed
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Have you had a real conversation about it? Have you looked for an alternative plan? Is the choice between 30 minutes later and happy vs 30 minutes earlier and grumpy? You’ve had the kids all day and he’s worked all day. They both have their own stresses. Maybe you can compromise and he can give you 30 minutes when you come home.
There’s a lot of ways to approach this.
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Beats him coming home and wanting to punch everyone out! Be glad he comes home mellowed out. Once he’s home, you can get your break to hit the bar, or whatever you want.
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Some of these comments are toxic af:joy: such as “at least he’s not coming home punching things” like what kind of life do you live that you must let a man drink so he Doesn’t act out:woman_facepalming:t3: is he then allowing her the time to go “unwind” for 30 minutes plus drive time everyday??
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Some of these comments!! 
At least he comes home… at least he helps… just be glad he’s only there for half hour… jeez, tell me you settled for bare minimum, without saying you settled for bare minimum 
I think 30 minutes a few times a week is ok, but not every day, an as long as you get your time to unwind an take care of you without the kiddos too
Compromise an making sure both of you get your own break is key 
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I get it from your point of view your prob lonely and counting down the hours till he returns.
But 30min a day no big deal… aslong as he comes home happy n helpful… id say go for it!
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If it’s only 30 mins I think it’s fine.
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30 mins of unwinding isn’t bad. Then he’s home helping with the kids I’d say that’s good. We see so many post here where dad’s won’t help at all. So why don’t you leave him with the kids for 30 mins once he gets home?
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You get to a point where you don’t give a shit.
Put yourself in his shoes. He’s had a long day too ya know.
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Self care is important too, what time does he get back? Does he get chance to spend time with the kids before bed? If so I wouldn’t have an issue if it’s just one drink x if it was every day all night then yeah 100% he’d be sleeping in the shed🤣
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Nah dude I’d be upset too like we are both parents we are both responsible for these children. Guess what if they split he’d have to run home after work to tend to the kids no break or nothing so the least he can do is wait for his wife once a week and have date night so they can both unwind . There’s ways of doing things without hurting your partner in the process
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It’s half hour. I wouldn’t worry. Be joyous an let the man unwind! If it was all night ok but gosh 30 mins for one no big deal sister !
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It’s one beer. You go and have half an hour when he gets back!
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When he gets home you should go have a drink too 
.
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Let him have his time and create a time for you to unwind too. We all need irrigation be functional parents.
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Naw I wouldnt be upset if it was only 30 minutes to unwind and then he helped with the kids If I was you I would consider urself lucky that’s more then what I see most women get that post here
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Give him space! Do not suffocate him!
I thought at first you meant at the bar all night. 30 minutes is nothing BUT you also need time for yourself. Schedule a get together with your friends.
Well I need a drink when I get off work sooooo. He could be doing many other things. But for 30 min. Gtfoh at least it is not until 4 am everyday !!!
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He comin home helpin that all what matters he needs to unwind after work before bein daddy roolll INSTATLY cuz it instalty soon as you walk threw door
My grandfather did the same thing! He had 4 kids and was married 50 years to my grandma . RIP 2003.
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Every day is a bit much… I’m sorry, bar beer is expensive. Come home, crack one open, take a few minutes.
Too many excuses made for this I see. “Let him unwind”? What about you? How are you allowed to unwind?
Sorry it sucks dude, but this is being a parent. He’s a father.If you’re not getting the same opportunity then it’s extremely unfair.
I would compromise and say listen, does it HAVE to he every day? Why not like 2 or 3 days a week? Every single day? Nah. I’m with you.
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Is it 30 minutes? And does he help when he gets home? If so… sign us up!!! I get no bar, no help. Just him endlessly unwinding when he gets home.
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Yah that wouldn’t be happening at my house. I don’t care if he needs to “unwind”
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When he gets home go take 30 minutes for yourself. I mean, it’s only fair.
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When he comes in you walk out say see yah in 30
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He worked all day to provide for his family…yes the man deserves a moment and a beer…wtf🧐
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Maybe when he gets home and showers you switch and you go spend an hour or two alone
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It’s a half hour let it go! He works all day. It’s one drink it’s really not an issue. Guess what first thing i do after i take the dogs out after work is have dinner and a drink . People deserve the chance to unwind however necessary. He’s not doing anything illegal
My questions would be does he truly help you when he gets home? Does he give you time for yourself when he gets home? If either of those are no then yes I would feel some sort of way about that.
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You shouldn’t complain about 30 mins, at least he is honest and you know where he is.
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When he walks in, walk out for your 30 min beer or walk or what ever floats your boat. 
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He works hard so you don’t have to and makes sure he only has one beer to unwind after work ready to come home and help you? If it bothers you that much go to the bar for a beer when gets home!
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blimey give the poor guy a chance!Its half an hour break between work & home; then he comes home and helps with the kids! would you rather he came straight home and sat and not helped? If you dont like being there all day - go out - simplz -
What’s good for the gander is also good for the goose
If I was in ur shoes when he gets home then it’s ur turn to go to the bar for 30 minutes to unwind
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He works. Yeah. Good for him. She works too. Raising kids is equivalent to many jobs in one. Grown men have priorities, and family should be top. Always. Have a beer at home, but go home to your family. I’m surprised at all the comments honestly. Crazy mentality we have today.
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Being a SAHM is hard but so is going to work and dealing with other people. He probably doesn’t want to bring his bad day home. He works all day and still comes home and takes on his kids. Why don’t you take a breather once he’s home, go for a walk or hit starbucks and then target. It’s only 30 min. Let the man have his beer.
As long as I also get 30min to myself daily (tha doesn’t involve any type of chore and where I could be completely by myself) I would have no problem with it. The people saying he is entitled to it or that she should be grateful for it are taking it a bit too far though. I work outside the home fulltime and I can only imagine the backlash i would get for doing something like this. Hell, I used to get all kinds of nasty attitude when I was a sahm and hired a sitter to come once a week for two hours. We all need time to ourselves, some of us more than others, but the internal misogyny some people carry around with them is really deep.
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Clearly no one had do do it alone … I work an hour away from just so I don’t have to deal w anyone wanting anything from me… if he takes 1 beer n is home don’t worry about it… if he’s not coming home then he’s f@#king someone else… come off your high horse… life’s not fair suck it up
I get your point but if he had a bad day at work and came straight home he would be grumpy. Give the guy a break. But let him know you want time for yourself when he gets home.
If he comes home and is an active parent instead of laying on the couch for hours….
If he is worthless when he comes home, then no but if he helps and plays and cleans…no harm no foul