Would you be okay with your daughter going to spend time with your ex-boyfriend, who is her dad and his new girlfriend? (aka flvaor of the week)? Do I even have a say if this is going to happen on his weekend? I do not want my daughter to meet girls that will be in and out of her life and i feel like i should be meeting them before she does…whata re my rights?
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It’s one of the first things they teach you in the co-parenting/divorce classes. You have no right/cannot control who the other parent has the child around. Unless the other person is a legitimate danger and you can get an order of protection, dad is technically a parent and can make his own parenting decisions during his parenting time. It really does suck. I don’t like my exhusband’s girlfriend (the one he cheated on me with and is now having a baby with) but i at least have to keep things civil.
You just have to make extra sure to provide that stability your child needs and make sure your child doesn’t see the negative emotions from it all.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would you be okay with your child meeting your exes new girlfriend?
You don’t have a say. He’s the dad and it’s his choice who to bring in and out of her life on his time with her.
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Unfortunately, unless you guys have a court ordered parenting plan and you put it in there that he can’t bring his girlfriends around, there isn’t really much you can do to control that
Yes. You can have it put in your custody agreement and parenting plan, that they can not meet boy/girl friends for a certain amount of time.
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I’m going through the same thing unfortunately we don’t get a say in who they bring around the kids unless you go to court and say since they are not married they can’t CO inhabitate but if it’s just your ex bringing her around unfortunately the judge won’t do anything well that’s here Nebraska I guess
You have absolutely zero say in what he does during his parenting time. It’s better to not nit pick and fight about everything, especially when someday you will likely introduce her to new people.
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Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do legally, unless it’s in the custody order.
You can talk to him and ask him not to, but his time is his time.
It depends on how long they’ve been dating. And ultimately you can not control what the other person does. All you can do is talk to your kid about any questions they have and be a good example of a person yourself
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Have you spoken to him about this in a calm way. No child should have people in and out. If you two can communicate I would absolutely reach out and explain why you feel he should wait till it’s more serious
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It’s a hard spot to be in and I know where you are coming from, but you don’t have any control over what he does and who he brings around.
I mean is she bad? Does she treat your kids bad? Is she a mother too? He is going to have to explain the relationship to the child let it happen once if it don’t last, the next one he gets he has to wait longer to introduce. Def meet her first
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If he doesn’t get a say of who YOU allow around the kid when you have them, you don’t get a say when he has them.
You worried about your daughter? Or your feelings? You have no right nor should you expect to meet anyone your ex dates. As long as he takes care of your daughter on his weekends…you need to mind your own.
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When you and their other parent splits up you loose those rights unless the other parent mutually agrees. Im guessing you have never met her judging by your post so you really shouldnt judge her as an individual. She might be a damn good mother figure to your child… Give her a chance… If you go in the courtroom with the attitude “I dont want any other woman around my child until I meet them first” it gives the judge the impression that you think your opinion of your exs gf’s are superior. A judge isnt going to like that kind of attitude unless you can prove she is unfit to be around the children.
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You want your child to meet your new partner??? You don’t get to dictate what happens on his visits hun.
You can get a court order where she can’t be around the flavor Of the week but shoes fits both feet that means you can bring her around any men either
Do whatever keeps your child safe
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You don’t have a say. You can have it put in the agreement that they have to be introduced after a certain period of time…but you having to meet them first is a no go.
This is all about feelings right here, the child doesn’t need to be put in a position where mummy keeps her because she doesn’t like daddy has a girlfriend. I love how girls give the excuse of ‘I don’t want them in and out of her life’. The only thing I would say to him is can you make sure you introduce slowly at her speed, rather than your own.
Plus if you wouldn’t hesitate about having another man in your house with your kid there, then the dad doesn’t need to suffer. X
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Unless it’s in the custody agreement, you have no say. My ex is still being pissy about my bf and it’s been almost 3 years. We offered multiple times to let my ex meet my bf so he could see who I had around the kiddo, he refused.
I introduced my daughter really early. Which is something others might disagree with. But it felt like there was a future, but if they didn’t get along the relationship wasn’t going to continue. He’s not the first person I’ve dated since my ex, but he is the first I introduced to my daughter. He didn’t spend the night here when I had her for more than a year. I was pregnant with our first by the time he spent the night here when she was here.
It’s in the custody agreement that if anyone moves in with either of us a background check is required.
And maybe refrain from judgements until you see it happening. Unless I’m reading it wrong, it sounds like this is his first relationship after you split. So calling her the “flavor of the week” sounds super judgy to me. IF he ends up dating around a lot, and if he introduces them all to the kiddo, then maybe say something to him or take it back to court. But if this is the first time he’s introduced someone, just leave it alone.
I would maybe have this conversation with him. Let him know how you feel and your concerns on the effect it will have on your child. For me, I set a 6 month rule, for myself. And even then, he didn’t meet them for a year.
You don’t really have a legal say on his time but you can ask him to respect your daughter and only introduce her to serious relationships.
You don’t really have a legal say on his time but you can ask him to respect your daughter and only introduce her to serious relationships.
You sound bitter, honestly.
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You don’t have a say if he has legal rights… and this makes you seem bitter and petty. Let it go.
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You’d have to go back to court and ask that it be put in the order that he not have your girls around his girlfriends (you’d have to also explain that these are people he barely knows but brings around them)
you have no say what he does in his time the child. the time he has been with her doesn’t even matter, he could’ve been with her a year and met your child and then they could still break up… the time means nothing.
I get why you’d be hesitant, but you don’t really have a say.
It’s not really that big of a thing. Stop being petty work together for your children.
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The fact that you referred to her as “flavor of the week” makes you sound bitter. As long as the child is not in danger, you have no say in what happens during his time.
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This is something yall should have talked about before hand. For me and my ex-husband, we agreed to wait 6 months in a new relationship for the other person to meet our kid. You can never be too careful with people.
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There’s not really anything you can do.
It’s gonna happen let it happen… That’s all feelings and being bitter. Same as you bringing men around your daughter…
I just remind myself that a judge would tell me I have no say who is around my child at his fathers house as long as they’re legally around children it’s shitty but at the end of the day don’t have much control over what the other parent chooses to do as long as it’s not endangering the child 
You don’t have a say in who he has the kid around on his time. As long as you can’t prove anyone he has them around is a danger to them, you can’t control that.
Yes why not. If you dated your child would meet your man. Why do women get mad about it. The more people that love your child the better
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No rights at all when it’s legally his time you have no say in what he can and cannot not do unless stated in court documents… you will date again and won’t want the dad having a say about how you handle it. Best thing to do is kill with kindness. Don’t be the drama Lamma
You do have a say so… it’s one thing if he’s been dating this girl for a while, but if this is an habitual occurrence. He needs to stop, and if he doesn’t, you need to modify the custody paperwork. How old is your daughter?
unfortunately in this society unless it’s explicitly in the divorce or custody paperwork you will have no rights. I think both parents should introduce the ex to the new if there are children involved. That is called respect another person but people today are only concerned with receiving respect and not giving it
Honestly unless you have reasonable suspicion that your child is in danger or being mistreated, no you have no say. So long as the child is safe, healthy and happy you have no say about what the other parent does on their time. I know it’s frustrating I went through it too, but it’s how it goes.
You can always get a custody/parenting plan through the courts. If you don’t want to do that then talk to your ex about how you’re feeling and if they are serious enough meet the girlfriend first, if that will ease your mind. Good luck.
Its not your choice, just like he has no choice who you being into your child’s life. However, hopefully you can have a mature conversation about this, in the BEST interest of the child. Also, how old if your child? That also makes a difference. For me, my daughter is 15, so let’s be real, she would know if mom or dad has a “friend” what that means, but if a child is young, they might not remember. Of course, due to my own issues, if hubby & I did divorce, I don’t think I would be ok with him or myself, serious or not.
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I wouldn’t care if it was a woman who was going to be in my child’s life and not some different woman every couple of months. But unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about it. Some people are just unstable and don’t care about people in and out of their child’s life 
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LMAO you don’t have a say
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You have no say on who he brings around the child on his time. Does he have a say on what goes on during your time? Would you want him to?
U sadly don’t have any. When it’s him time he can do whatever he wants I don’t like it but it’s true
Legally theirs nothing you can do. Unless someone is a danger to your child you can’t control who he brings around when it’s his time with them. Maybe send her a message and just be genuine and honest, ask her to meet for coffee or maybe meet them both at the playground with your child so you can get to know her better. I understand this isn’t always ideal for everyone and it can be a bit awkward, but trying to find the best co-parenting balance is always ideal for children that have blended families.
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You don’t really have a say
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I agree with you. Kids don’t need to meet every new boyfriend/girlfriend that their parents get. Kids get attached too easily, and a lot of times this is how they end up getting hurt and abused. I think you can have it in your court order that new partners can’t be around your kids for a certain amount of time. It’s worth trying.
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Technically, legally no. There’s nothing in a court order that will stop him from it.
Do you feel like it’s okay to bring your new love interest around your child?
Personally, I would like to know how my child and this person reacts towards each other before anything starts getting serious.
My kids have a say in my relationships.
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Is it HIS child also? If so, it sounds like you’re one of those “they’re MY kids” kinda women… they’re HIS kids also. Stop trying to control his life through your child.
there isn’t much u can do really.
I mean, what you need to do is grow up.
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You can’t control what the ex does! You can only hope for the best, sometimes you will find that the new flavor of the week is a nice person and she’ll be good to your daughter, just don’t talk trash about her to your daughter let your daughter decide for her self and regardless of your feelings teach your daughter to be respectful it only makes thing’s easier for the child, after all he is an ex for a reason keep the adults feelings out of it for the kids sake.
How long have they been going together? I feel that a child meeting an exes new gf depends on their relationship too. Is the ex their father (or father in law?) Are the children teenagers or young? I feel like there are more questions that need to be asked before this question can be completely answered.
Dnt have control over tht trust me ik
Talk to your ex, explain your reason for the position you’re taking on this matter. He should feel the same way and want to meet the men you will bring around your child.
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U have no say what he does on his time unless there’s a court order stating so. My ex husband and I have a court order and I have all say in when, where and how he sees our son. He has no rights to tell me anything. But in a normal circumstance neither of u get to tell each other what to do with said child during the other parents time.
You do not have a say unless she is in immediate danger doing so.
Unfortunately all you can do is hope for the best and trust that he loves and cares for his daughter and wants the best for her.
ultimately he can do what he wants on his time. He’s not hurting his child. Maybe he can just introduce her as daddy’s friend. But really as long as he’s not making the girl call the girlfriend mommy, it’s fine.
Sadly we can’t say anything good about it. His child too. Just don’t go bashing in front of the child.
And hope for the best.
I am that aka flavor of the week, 4 years later that dealt with a bitter person such as yourself ! Back off, he’s the father he can make his own decision and you can’t control who he dates !
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Yes, as soon as people start not wanting others to meet kids its all down hill. If ur ex feels ready to introduce your child he obviously has feelings for this woman and why wouldnt u want ur child to have another person to love and protect then through theyr life. My partner is stepdad to my older two sons thankfully my ex n myself were on good terms before he passed away and he was also really friendly with my partner, if he hadnt allowed oir boys to meet him theyd have no father figure but they have someone here for them to love and aupport xx
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Depends on age of child. Talk with him and explain your concerns.
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I feel that you need to have trust in him, as a man you chose to have a kid with, that he will make the best decisions for her when she’s with him. When she’s with him it’s his business and what they do shouldn’t be determined by you. If something happens that is a danger to your child then intervene. But until that happens he is an equal parent that should be able to make those decisions when she’s with him.
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You can try to get a clause in a court order saying they can’t meet a new significant other until x amount of time, it doesn’t mean the other person will follow it though. But the clause would work for you as well
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Child shouldn’t meet boyfriends or girlfriends as that until it’s serious. However introducing them as friends early can be good. This is a tough one
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You have no rights when it comes to that, and truthfully women really need to stop thinking they do 
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Ummm pretty much can’t do anything at the end of the day the kids will know who the stable ones are lol along as they’re not getting hurt etc wouldn’t care…usually new gfz try and act like gods gift to the kids so bonus haha
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I am that aka flavor of the week, 4 years later that dealt with a bitter person such as yourself ! Back off, he’s the father he can make his own decision and you can’t control who he dates !
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Well, you don’t have any rights when it comes to her time with her dad. Is it right that he has a revolving door of women in and out of her life? No. Of course not. But you don’t have any say over that. You can express how you feel, but ultimately what he does is his business.
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Call your lawyer. They could help you if this is chronic thing it’s in divorce papers sometimes. That being said, iv’e been the new g-friend, sometimes guys can’t do themselves. I don’t mean all guys but seems some need a womans input on girls
That’s your daughters time with her dad and you have no say.
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I understand your feelings but unless these girls are under the influence & you can prove it, you don’t have a say so, I’m sorry. Same as he has no say so.
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While your daughter is in the care of her dad you unfortunately have no say in what happens with his time with his daughter. Just like he can’t say what happens while she is in your care. I understand the not wanting to have people in and out of her life, but unfortunately that’s life these days. We just have to learn to deal with it when the time comes.
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Would you feel this way if you wanted for a child to meet your new boyfriend? That child is also his child and you get no more say than he would.
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Yes. He has just as much rights as you do with his child and I’m sure at some point you will want to introduce your bf. Only thing you can do is delay it and that’s if you’re willing to go through the agony of taking him back to court for not waiting x amount of time for children to meet their SOs. It goes vice versa as well. I really don’t think people who have these clauses makes me wonder how it hold up really how it can be dictated and proven. It’s really the discretion of the parents. Let your child have their time with their father as he sees fit. Unless the child is being abused what goes on at his house isn’t your business. And like I said that goes vice versa. What goes on at your house is none of his business.
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You don’t get a choice. Stay in your lane.
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Girl, you have little to no say and even less control. Quit worrying about his private life and get in with yours
While I can understand how you feel, you really don’t have a say, your best option is to have a chat with him and come to a mutual understanding and BOTH parents have the same expectations and “rules” but if he doesn’t want to talk to you about it or come to some understanding than there is nothing you can do. It is his time with his daughter… the only time I feel you would have a say is if and only if she was miss treating your child…
You unfortunately don’t get a say in it.
But I agree with you about how she shouldn’t.
Unfortunately you have no choice, but I would sit down and talk to him and ask that you BOTH Come to an agreement that you each meet your SO First before your daughter does and that you are in a relationship for x amount of time before you bring that person into your daughters life.
Maybe you should reach out to her to meet. Leave the bitterness out. It’s so much easier when you all can get along!
Flip the roles and image how you’d feel if he tried to dictate your romantic life & when you include that person in your daily life. While I understand that’s a hard concept, it’s non of your business girl.
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That depends on the situation. My hubby and I started dating a year after my ex and I broke up. My hubs and I dated for 6 months before I had him need my ex (father of one of my sons) because I knew eventually he’d have to meet my son. Out of respect for my ex we wanted him to know the guy his son would be around. Out of respect for you as the mother of his child he should date her longer then have you officially meet her. Then your daughter. He can’t just introduce her to every body call he has that’s unhealthy for her
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You had have no say on what he does with his parenting time unless there are safety issues.
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You don’t really have a say unless it specifically says it in the court order. What her dad does with his daughter on his visitation times is none of your business just like it’s none of his business what y’all do when you have her. You also sound petty as in this hint : aka flavor of the week where you are referring to the new girl. Who cares honestly who he sleeps with he’s not your man no more so. If you want to co parent well with your ex then you need to stay out of his business seriously
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You have 0 say unless it’s in a court order. Yall can’t say whatever each does on their time with the kid.
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You have no control over what happens on dad’s time. The situation sucks but there is noting that can be done.
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Yeah. Dad is allowed to have a life. I would have a problem with dad introducing and immediately telling kids this is girlfriend, we love each other etc when they aren only casually dating or something. But tbh if dad has them and they got plans and “dad friend” comes too, or comes to hang out then no I have non-issue with that. If you would only have an issue with a person meeting your kids if that person is or could be a potential partner to the ex, and your hesitation doesn’t carry over to literally everyone the kid doesn’t know well it has nothing to do with the kids.
Stop thinking of him as your ex and starting thinking of him as her father ….
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You have no say in what he does with his time. As long as the kid is safe. He can do what he wants
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Id only be pissed if it was literally someone different every other few weeks/months.
If its casual flings then the ex should just had dad and child days
You have no say in how he spends his parenting time with his children. If you have a concern, bring a motion before the court.
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Yes. He can do as he wants as long as the child is being taken care of. It is not your choice.
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It’s none of your business unless the child is in danger. You haven’t got a say on what goes on in his parenting time.
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