Keeping your pets vs being homeless My sister (who recently found out she is pregnant but maybe miscarrying she won’t know for sure until the 2nd) she going to be homeless on the 3rd my older sister said she would go half on the house with her and her boyfriend but only if they got rid of they’re 2 pit bulls and boxer mix (dogs are not house trained and very wild) they refuse to let them go they are going to live in their van with their dogs, and it’s practically winter. Her boyfriend is an idiot. He paid 2,000 for the boxer didn’t get any paperwork about the dog. Has had three different good-paying jobs and has managed to lose them all. Doesn’t talk about how much he gets paid, which is definitely $13+ bills (water lights phones food haven’t been paid or bought or are always late. It’s his way or the highway and won’t listen to any advice from anyone because he thinks he is being judged. I told my sister to leave him she doesn’t want to because she will be alone and she doesn’t know what’s going on with the baby situation she thinks she loves him she is 19.
Let her live and learn… just be there for her if she ends up needing someone after she comes to her senses and leaves him
I wouldn’t be homeless for any animal period… like wtf
Many may not agree but I would keep my dogs & boot his ass out.
I say stay out of it. Let them figure it out. You’re not obligated to worry about her decisions
Sounds like she needs to worry about losing the boyfriend screw the dogs.
I feel bad for the dogs.
Does this even need an ans??? I love dogs but would never go homeless because of them with a child on the way
She needs to leave her man and also has no place owning those dogs if they are still wild. Sad.
I’d live in my car. Thats just me. Ain’t no way I’d ditch my pets, kids, or responsibilities. I’d find an alternative and live in the car or a campground until I found suitable housing for both
She’s an adult and has to learn the hard way. Let her live out of a car with 3 dogs and another person, always figuring out how to eat, shower, work while living out of a car will get old quick.
Let them be homeless. She’ll learn, sometimes you have to let people go through situations like that so they’ll grow up. Nobody wants shit and piss all over there House🤷🏻♀️
I’d leave the guy before I left the dogs but no matter what kinda answers you get on here, she’s gonna do what she wants no matter what.
She’s nineteen that right there says it all. She’s not going to listen to anyone but him. Just try to be there for her when she comes to reality.
I wouldn’t lose my home bc of animals. Animals are people and need to not be just tossed aside at a human’s convenience
Call CPS about the baby if she doesn’t miscarry. She can make dumb choices all she wants, but the baby shouldn’t suffer for them
I personally would rather keep my dogs, but I was in a somewhat similar situation recently where I had to live with my in-laws for a little over a month and they have a “no dog” rule. It hurt my heart, but at night, my dogs would sleep in the shed, and during the day, I’d go out and play with them, take them on a run, and tie them to a tree so they could still be outside and exercise while I was busy with something else. There’s always options if you’re willing to look at it from every angle.
You can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to be helped. So In this case you just might have to let it play out. They are “adults” so if they choose to be homeless then that’s their choice. Even if that means you have to watch them make bad decisions. It’s all apart of living and learning
I went and still go through with my sister. Not the dog part but won’t keep a job, lost 2 kids (thank God for grandparents)… bounces from house to house, shelter to shelter. She’s 19 and “in love”… express your concerns but let her find out. Do keep up with her in case she doesn’t miscarry and the baby needs a home. Get CPS involved if that happens.
some people have to learn by their mistakes as long as she’s in love with him she’s going nowhere as for the animals it’s very sad people abused animals way too much it’s not their fault
Let her . She wants to be stupid it shows where THEIR priorities lay.
Sis needs to get rid of the dogs AND the boyfriend
I would rehome the dogs. They obviously aren’t being trained and living in a van is no way for an animal to live. They are young though and won’t listen. The sister will just have to live and learn. She will grow up soon and realize that the situation is wrong.
The hard cold truth about life is that you cannot save anybody people learned through their own experiences and all you can do is love her and not judge her or him and let them find out the natural consequences of their choices
People have to figure things out themselves.
It’s not about the dogs it’s that they aren’t responsible. They can’t even take care of themselves much less dogs or a baby. Honestly I feel for the baby I hope she and that boy grow up
Let her learn from her mistakes. Doesn’t sound like there’s anything you can do about it. Sometimes people have to see things for themselves. Some people think it’s stupid to make them get rid of the dogs but if someone’s going to pay half the bill then they should have some say. Especially when that many dogs takes a lot of caring and money too. She will need to know the money is going to the home and child if she has it, not to the dogs.
Definitely get rid of the animals, for me, animals will never be priority over humans
If she has the baby she’s risking losing her kid over some dogs. I love my dog but I wouldn’t be homeless bc of her. And especially not with a kid. Ur sister is young and has a lot to learn. But keeping dogs and not a roof over her head isn’t love.
If I didn’t have children I’d absolutely be homeless for my dog, my dog is my BABY
But like right now If I had to pick I’d get rid of my dog because I’ve got 4 tiny humans I have to look out and care for sooooo to each their own and it sounds like shes gonna have to learn the tough way and being homeless in the winter surely cant be fabulous sooooo
They should both be working & trying harder to live within their means while being responsible & paying their bills. Why are they on the verge of homelessness yet have THREE dogs? It sounds a little selfish…
In this situation, she should be thinking about her unborn baby, regardless of the situation. I love my animals. But if it’s between my animals and my baby having a roof over it’s head, there is no choice in my eyes.
As soon as the baby will come, if the dogs are wild, she will take the right choice. I can understand it’s hard for her atm.
I recently had to face this, I have had 2 cats for 7 and 8 years, they are part of the family. Well the homeless shelter that was willing to take me and my children in was no pets allowed. I fostered them until I can get on my feet. She doesnt have to give them up 100%, look into fostering.
I’d stay out of it. She’s going to make her own choices regardless of what anyone says. Like everyone else, she has to learn her own lessons. It’s called life.
She knows where and how to find you and your sister if she changes her mind.
You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.
I would keep my dogs. Period.
Some ppl have to learn the hard way 💁
Nineteen is the perfect age for this to happen. I was once 19. Sometimes it I beat not to fight and let them live out their mess.
Wow! So people really value animal life over human?
This makes zero sense. Some of you would rather be homeless with dogs vs finding them a good home AND keeping a roof over your own head?
They’ll learn the hard way then
Sometimes people have to learn the hard way.
I absolutely love my animals but in the end me and my children come above all else!!
Every adult should know this and I do not help those that do not atleast help themselves.
Train the dogs, get rid of the boyfriend.
Oh dear, what a mess this sounds. I really don’t think it’s the dogs that are the problem, it’s the boyfriend. she most definitely should leave him - and if she miscarries she won’t have to worry about a deadbeat dad.
The craziest one in this post is your sister that agreed to get a place with these morons. Tell your sister to be happy she dodged that bullet. As far as your 19 year old sister, she’s still young. Y’all are going to have to let her figure things out on her own. If she’s smart she’ll come to her senses after living in a van with dogs.
They don’t sound very reliable unfortunately and your sibling could be putting herself at risk of being responsible for everything ultimately.
In my personal opinion, pets are family. They always have been. I have a one year old boxer mix, who’s only a week older than my daughter. Because of this and the number of housing places that discriminate against her because she’s an “aggression breed”, I still live at home… But I have that luxury. If it came down to having nowhere to live or giving up my pet? I’d find her a GOOD home. Because my child deserves better than that.
Um obviously not being homeless, especially if there are kids involved.
The only thing in that scenario that I resemble is the fact that I was 19 when I got married none of the rest of it is what I lived with but as I look back now at 19 I thought he cared turned out I don’t think he did or we would still be together now my parents didn’t want me to marry him I wished I had listened to them I love my children to Pieces but we were in fact married a year before I had the first one so I guess you won’t be able to tell her anything at 19 but living in a van with all those dogs and a pregnant one to boot yeah somebody needs to get through to her and please get rid of that loser and nothing was said about how old he is not that it really matters but mine now ex was I’d 23 I was 19 he was 23
My personal animals are my family but they are also well behaved. If they were crazy and not house trained and all over the place they’d be gone if that’s what it took to keep a roof over my head. Not that I condone giving up your pets, sometimes you just don’t have much of a choice.
Pretty much what everyone is saying but be prepared if her boyfriend starts persuading her into asking you for showers/laundry, etc. put your foot down now or they’ll be living on their own through you…( if that makes sense)
She needs to get of him and find homes for the dogs since they obviously can’t care for them. But she needs to grow up as well!
I’d definitely keep my dogs… they’re my babies too, I don’t know why anyone would refuse to help them if they keep their dogs. Animals are a lifelong commitment.
I’m not going to lie, my husband and I live with his father. We’ve been looking for places to move but refuse to move without our cats. They are our emotional support animals though. We do have a roof over our heads though until then.
My pets are my children. You would find me living in a tent before getting rid of my babies. 🤷 Pets did not ask to be apart of my family, I brought them into my family.
She should take the family support and get on her feet… Buttttt, I know at 19 nobody could tell me anything! May have to just live and let live…
As hard as it is to watch her fall you have to let her hit rock bottom. I’ve went through it the last year with a family member, they get $2k a month from their pension and would rather be homeless and live in Walmart. (My Walmart lets people stay and feeds them) I finally convinced her to go back home down south. If she wants to be homeless at least she’ll be in warmer weather!
Sorry not sorry, re gone the pets!
I wouldn’t give up my dog. Stayed in a flea bag motel room for a month til I could find an apartment where I could have my dog. I also could have lived free with relatives had I given up my dog. I had 2 rehome 1 dog and 2 cats and I was not parting with my other dog. Yes I would have stayed in my car first
I would find good homes for the dogs, they deserve better, if she isn’t miscarrying and she’s probably having break through bleeding, very common, I tell social services so they can get help till the baby is born. That’s all you can do. Social services can make her do things you cant because she’s pregnant
The best thing she can do for her, ber baby and those dogs is to place them. Boxer need a lot of work and they are unwilling to do it. They need someone who will put in the work to change the bad behavior. That baby is at risk of being hurt due to it. From all that untamed energy.
He is an idiot. My dogs are my family, but if I HAD to chose,my children would come first.
The breed doesn’t matter. The fact that they haven’t trained them is. Train them and you won’t have to worry about rehoming them. If you surrender an untrained bully breed, they will most likely be euthanized
On a side note, who would say they will go in half on a house but only if they give their pets up? That sounds like a selfish ultimatum. The older sister knows the younger sister would rather be homeless than give her pets up, the older sister has the ability to help her younger sister, but only on her terms? I’d help my younger siblings stay out of homelessness no matter what. Pets are family.
Considering she is waiting until tomorrow to find out if she is miscarrying I wouldn’t put pressure on her to choose between housing or homelessness. That’s not something to make her choose rate now.
Also if it was me I’m a dog owner of 4 dogs I would choose being homeless.
I did have to make that choice. I had a child and had just found out I had another on the way. I needed to move back in with my parents and they said I couldn’t bring my dog. So guess what I chose. I chose my kids and I having a place to live and our safety. I’d always put my kids before any animal. I was 20 at that time
Let them go. They will learn. Hard way to learn but sometimes that’s the only way
As a mom. With two kids.
I’d choose to re-home my pets. Granted. It would have to be a last resort but I’d never force my kids to live in a VEHICLE or a hotel so i could keep my pet.
That’s selfish and immature.
Not to mention if CPS found out then the kids could and would be removed from the “home”
So what should you do? Honestly? There’s not a lot you can do. Try to talk to them?
Try to find a solution? Could someone else take the pets temporarily?
Try to talk to her? Try to get her to put her baby first? Before herself and her boyfriend.
Honestly my dogs mean the world to me if you can’t accept my dogs you can’t accept me
I was in that situation with 3 kids after their father and I split up and we had to move out of the home where we had been allowed pets. Had a dog and 3 cats. No rental experience.
My grandparents offered for us to move in with them because we were looking like we were going to have to live in a shelter because no real estate would give us a rental property. Only catch was, we could live there, but the pets could not.
I surrendered my pets, broke my heart, still miss them 18 months on, but know they all went to better homes and myself and my kids have our own home now. I don’t regret the decision and as a renter, I’ll never have another pet again unless I own my own home.
I see why people are hesitant to help if the dogs are not housebroken and are wild…
If they move with you…be mindful YOU will be paying ALL THE BILLS Don’t be a fool. Anyone who pays 2K, for a dog and don’t have a roof over their head is a damn fool!!!
At this point they don’t want help You will definitely get screwed. Think twice… be blessed.
I would rehome the pets.
Even if I didnt have kids, I would never become homeless because of my pet.
My pet deserves better than being homeless. So do I.
Been there done that not with kids involved but it would take a lot for me to dump my animals.
She’s still so young and seems to just want so badly for this guy to stand up and be the guy she needs but deep down she knows he won’t. He’s not stable and obviously has very selfish needs. She’s 19 with a high risk pregnancy and doesn’t need such stress but seems like he doesn’t care much. I think she knows what she needs to do. I think it’s very generous for family to reach out and not want pets there as that adds on a lot of stress and room. Especially if they aren’t house trained and there’s no proper paperwork, they could see it as a liability. A van is no proper home for two dogs and two adults. Very sad, I hope she can come to terms and move in with family. I think she needs to understand that she won’t be alone that she will have family with her and that a man is not the only way to fix loneliness. That attitude will trap her in a life long down hill of relationships. I would just show as much support and give her the option of coming home to family. Most people don’t like being told what to do, especially at 19 where they think they are so much smarter and better. so if you just give the option maybe she’ll take it? Idk hope things work out and that baby is ok.
Offer to let your sister and only her come for free
Any decent mother would give up pets to make sure her kid/kids are safe and have a steady, stable home. You can love your pets all you want, but they aren’t human. If your choice is pets or kids having a decent life, and you choose to keep your pets, you’re trash. Period!
If she would rather live in a vehicle while pregnant to keep her dogs, then that’s on her. I would never in my life put an animal before my own child. To say you would be homeless before putting a roof over your child’s head, you aren’t mature enough to be a parent. I love my dogs so much, but I wouldn’t allow my children to be homeless for them. I’d give up anything for my kids. On another note, I sure wouldn’t over pit bulls, especially when they’re “wild and not trained”. This is a no brained for anyone who is fit to parent.
Im sorry, but if it came to a home or the animals, id chose home. But i wouldnt just give them away or send them to the pound. I would find a renowned rescue to take them. I also have kids, so they come first.
If they couldn’t afford a roof over there head. How are they going to be able to take care of three dogs and a baby? This might sound bad but if I had the choose between my animals or unborn baby. I choose my unborn child even if there was a possible chance of miscarriage. Even though I love my animals. But I also would look for a someone that would take good care of them and love them. Plus she is young she learn the hard way.
First of all if she’s trying to miscarry she doesn’t need “ added “ stress from anyone that includes her sister bc it sounds with her animals and her boyfriend and possibly loosing her unborn baby she has her plate full . I would try to be there for as a sister when the pieces do crumble bc she’s gonna need someone and if you get in the middle she may not come to you and at age 19 they think they know everything so with that being said she’s got to live and learn I know its hard she’s your sister but pushing her will only cause friction in yalls relationship and it sounds as if she’s gonna need you one these days. JMO
I would rather be homeless.
I rather find somewhere else to live that excepts my pets. Not getting rid of my animals they are just like family 🤷
HOLD UP! Nothing about this makes sense. Number 1, why would the sister even offer to go half in on a house when the couple who has the dogs and lives out of their van seems to stay behind on bills??? The pets wouldn’t be my main issue, its making sure the bills are paid on time.
Number 2! Why are the dogs wild and feral? When you’re so called pregnant, how you know your dogs ain’t gonna go wild on the baby once you have it? Number 3, sounds like the boyfriend is a HUGE concern. I’d not even worry about this cause your sister sounds like she wants to go through life the hard way, if she’s gonna be smart, she’d leave the dude and the wild dogs, get a job, get her crap together, and do whats right by the baby. Sorry, but not sorry…
We made that choice. We lived in a 26 ft motorhome with 4 people and our dog. We could have got a appartment or housing but it would have meant we couldn’t keep our boy.
It’s going to be hard to rent with 3 dogs. On one hand, I love my dogs & would never give them up, on the other hand, 3 untrained dogs could cause problems for the baby. Babies crawl & to have the dogs doing their business in the house for the baby to crawl in? Yuck! Even if they clean it up, it leaves germs the baby doesn’t need. They have to train the dogs to go outside before the baby comes. As for her bf, he needs to man up. He needs to take care of his family!!!
My pets are my kids. In fact they are older than my oldest and she feels the same way. If rehoming with other family isn’t an option, I’d be in the van. She’s got like 8 months to figure it out before her kid gets here tbh. And your other sister sounds like a bitch.
Sometimes they just need to learn life lessons on there own . A place was offered and they chose not to take it that’s consequences they will have to live with
Tell her to run, I love my dog with all my heart, but I’d let them go.
Home for sure. Been there done that. Luckily my animals went to a loving home and when I was able they came back to me. But no doubt in my mind I would choose a home every time.
I’m sorry but let her be let her find out the hard way specially if she isnt miscarrying (I’m sorry if she is) but be waiting in the background to help her when she hits rock bottom. She’ll find out real right quick that she can lose her baby because shes homeless.
be careful what you say, you will have a ton of people attacking you for thinking it’s ok to rehome pets when you might go homeless!
I understand your worried for your sister! That’s really great of you and your other sister to be willing to look out for her and try to help and keep her safe. Unfortunately, she is going to have to make these decisions on her own. All you can do is try to support her and not be mean or judgemental about any of it. The more you judge or insult her boyfriend and the choices they make or try to control the situation by your opinions, the more they are going to resist the help and will probably just push her away. No matter your feelings or worries or how much you care you have to remember these are her decisions. The boyfriend she has, her choice to choose to be with him, their choice to keep the dogs and live in a van rather then with your sister. If she and her boyfriend are feeling criticized they are going to be way less likely to take the help and more likely to do the exact opposite of what might be best. Let her make her decisions and be there if she needs you. It’s not any one else’s call to make or place to judge. As hard as that may be when you care about someone so much.
I couldn’t ever give up my dogs. My rescue dog saved my life when I lost my little girl. I only carried on because of her. I wouldn’t rely on a man to look after me though - so not sure what her fellas income has to do with anything. I’ve always looked after myself financially. If he can’t look after himself or pay for his own dog she needs to get rid of him but that’s something she needs to do on her own.
Guess they need to be homeless!
Your gonna have to let her learn this lesson on her own. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink it! I know it’s not what you want to do but it’s the only way maybe she will see when she ls living like that …that there is people willing to help she just needs to make that decision on her own
I love my animals however if I have to re-home them or surrender them to have a roof over my head I would do it without question. Sounds extremely selfish and frankly ridiculous and he sounds like a real winner. She should ditch his ass but she’s 19 and “in luuurve” so good luck getting her to save herself. She’s gonna have to learn the hard way. I just hope if they don’t have a stable home when this baby comes that the family steps in and removes the child until they get their shit together. He’s a loser and she’s going down with him with an innocent child. Disgusting
She will learn. But asking her to rehome the animals they have could honestly be really hard for her. Ik my sister would hate to have to give up any of her pets.
Let them do it for a week or 2 in the car with the dogs and they will more then likely change their minds. Specially with them thinking about addying a baby to the mix staying in a car. If she and her boyfriend cant go to your sisters and pay cause he cant keep a job- have her come to you -AND ONLY YOU- (make that VERY clear) for free for up to 3 months after the baby is born- then she NEEDS to have a job and save for her own place.
The dogs would be gone. Doesn’t sound like they can’t take care of them anyway.
If it were just me… I would sleep in my car with my dog. I’m also not irresponsible enough to put myself in that position. If I had kids, I would choose them having a home over a dog.