She knew what his hair looked like before asking him to be part of the wedding party. Sounds like the bride needs to suck it up I wouldn’t make my son change his style. If she didn’t like it she should have thought about that before asking him to take part in it
Nope i’d leave it…if she thinks its that much of a big deal have her get another ring bearer…if its been that way a year and she asked him anyway no point in making him change it for a wedding.
Sounds like your “friend” needs to find another ring bearer and your son can watch the wedding instead of participate in it.
Your son needs to stay true to himself. Good job defending him, Mama.
Our son had a mowhawk when he was 9. He looked like Billy Idol - and I have the church directory pics to prove it! Lol
Still, to this day, it’s one of my favorite pics.
It may be HER wedding, but he’s YOUR son. Why is she just telling you now anyway?
No they choose him to be a part of their wedding and he has the right to represent himself
Hell no she knew his hair when she asked. Hes going as him or won’t be involved as far as I’m concerned. What a bitch. Hes a child and its his body his hair and obviously means alot to him.
I would say he is out… I am
Sure she knew this prior to asking or could have said something immediately when she saw it not 2 days before! If she’s acting like this she is obviously not that good of a friend
Phuck that. I’d tell her to kiss my arse
Absolutely NOOO! Tell her find a new ring bearer cuz wtf is wrong with her. Who is she to tell you, you have two options you have 3 actually. She has two! Take him as he is or find somebody else to carry her rings. What a B she sounds like🤬
Wow what a Karenzilla
It is her wedding, and she gets to decide…but I would not make my son change the hairstyle that he is comfortable with, surely she can find another ring bearer, and then everyone will be happy!
I wouldn’t go. Period. Based on your said beliefs about them finding their own identity, by making him change his hair, it’s teaching him to change himself and what he likes based on other people’s preferences. That’s going against your beliefs and what you’re teaching him. Don’t do that. In my opinion, she’s going to be the one screwed because she will have such a short time to find another ring bearer. So she can either let him come the way he truly is, because she knew what he looked like when she asked him to be in her wedding in the first place, or she can find someone else or let him wear a cute fedora hat.
If she has this kind of objections to his appearance, just tell her needs to find another ring bearer. Too much stress for a child to deal with.
I just wouldn’t be going
She can accept him how he is or find a replacement. Only thing that’s gonna take anything away from her day is her being an bridezilla
She knew he had this hair when she asked him to be in the wedding. She needs to accept him as is.
I would let my son choose. Keep the hair and skip ring bearer or shave it and participate. If THAT ruins her wedding, marriage is REALLY gonna be a struggle.
My son is more important than a wedding tell her to find a new ring bearer… she knew his hair color and if she makes a 8 Year old change his hair she’s no friend. I wouldn’t make a kid change their hair that’s me though. Good luck.
No no no. She can find a new ring bearer. I’d sit down with your son (if you already haven’t) and explain that this is your friend’s big day and she has the right to want everything the way she sees it in her head, but he also has the option to say “no thank you.” Make sure he know that he can keep it, but then he can’t be in the wedding.
You know what to do… let your son keep his Mohawk & hair color!! If it was such an issue, she should have mentioned it when she asked him to be in the wedding!!
Tell her ass to kick rocks then and find a new ring bearer. She knew when she asked you about him being the ring bearer what his hair looked like. Then she waited 2 days BEFORE the wedding to tell you it was an issue. Then has the audacity to give you 2 options? Fuck her wedding and fuck being in the wedding party. I would have a mind not to go at all to be honest. Yeah, it’s “her” day. But it’s HIS hair.
Do not give in. Let him skip the wedding.
Absolutely not she either accepts his hair as is or finds new people for her wedding. This is a learning experience if you were to make him change it now because of her then he might learn to think he has to change himself for others.
See I would have been the friend and mom to say can we Viking braid it or something it knocks it down but keeps his hair his. If she is having a mental breakdown over his hair then she has huge problems. If she won’t compromise neither should he, she can find a new ring barer because I’m not forcing my kid to conform to your standards
It’s HER wedding, but it’s HIS hair!
Stick to your guns
Who is more important? Your son or your friend?
Absolutely not. I would tell the bride that she doesn’t have to worry about his hair because he won’t be in the wedding. It doesn’t leave her with time to replace him, but that’s her own fault. Why would she wait until 2 days before the wedding to tell you his hair is unacceptable if it’s been like this the whole time?
Tell her to find another ring bearer. She should appreciate your son as he is.
Wow this is is really sad. As a mom, our job is to protect our kids from bullies - so it looks like she will need to find a new ring bearer and a friend.
She needs to let it go or be upset. I am pretty ocd myself and even I understand he is not my kid and he is enjoying it.
She is afraid to deal with her own fears so she is projecting. Weddings are scary and then the next day you have to be “married” and that comes with all kinds of ups and downs.
Tell her you love her but unfortunately he will not be changing his hair. If she feels that strongly she can get someone else because your son is also allowed a voice.
Good luck momma. Hopefully after the wedding her senses will return. In the meantime maybe she can use a to calm her self down.
My son was 5, he had the coolest Mohawk. Husband’s sister convinced him to cut it off for her wedding. I am still pissed to this day… he is now turning 13.
Maybe French brand it if it’s thick enough.
I see no issue with using a temporary colour for the big day but if it hurts your son then I wouldn’t force it! Talk to the bride and let her know how your little guy feels. I was going to say if she still insists take him out but maybe he was looking forward to doing this and that could hurt him too. So that is something to think about too. In the end you should do what’s best for your son. I would explain all his options and let him know the consequences￼. Like it’s fine he doesn’t want to colour his hair but then he may not be in the wedding party. Best of luck mama
You could use one of those root touch up hairspray/dry shampoo maybe and put brown over it just for the day?
Well he’s a child and she knew what his hair looked like all along if there is a “hair code “ to be in the wedding other then a simple request for updos maybe then I would messsge her and say sorry but no… no one should have to change their hair or themselves other then the usual wedding things (if women want their hair done , make up , men get their beard trimmed … even these things aren’t required ) then he shouldn’t be in it at all
She should’ve said this upfront when she asked you if he could be the ring bearer.
Nope she picked him.knowing what he wants…if she’s that good of a friend that she knows he loves it
Just say he isn’t going to be a ring bearer anymore
It is absolutely her wedding!!! It is also absolutely your son’s hair!!! Don’t force your son to change for just 1 day, to please some one else. If she doesn’t like it or want it in her wedding,she can get someone else to take the position, at the end of the day it might make him feel bad. But his hair won’t ruin her day, and he gets to keep his hair the way he wants it. Two birds, one stone!
Oh hell to the no. She needs to find a new ring bearer. She has some nerve.
Nope let him keep his hair, let him keep the color, he’s way more important than your frien.
Clearly this wedding was planned. She obviously knew about your son’s hair. Her probl8 of she waited until the last minute to see if he was will to Compromise are not seems like she shouldn’t have a ring bear.
Do not let her win, that is super childish and stupid of her. Screw her wedding I wouldn’t be going.
She knew your son had a Mohawk prior to asking him to be a part of the wedding party, I assume?
If so, not a chance in Hell. She can deal or find someone else. Bridezilla can kick rocks as far as I’m concerned.
I’d tell your friend she has two options… find another ring bearer or let it be.
I would not shave, cut, or color my son’s hair for her wedding. She clearly knew what your son looked like when she asked for him to be a ring bearer!
No. she should have mentioned this prior to 2 days before the wedding
She knows what his hair looked like. I would not be changing anything. She can choose to have him like he is or he can not be in the wedding if she so chooses but in no way would I change his hair.
Absolutely not, especially if he had it when she invited him to be in the wedding. Either way, she can have him as he is or find a new ring bearer. Honestly in my opinion, that’s no worse then her asking…demanding him to shave his hair or change himself.
When she asked she should have mention her standards, not no 2 days before.
Tell her to find a new ring bearer.
She chose him as her bearer and new of his hair style and color when she made the decision to include him in her wedding party.
She can kick rocks as far as I’m concerned!
Don’t you dare force that little boy to get rid of something so important to him because someone else doesn’t like it! That’s part of your sons identity right now & it’s obviously very important to him. Your friend has a right to say what’s in her wedding BUT she does not have the right to force another person into doing something he doesn’t want to do. I’d tell your friend your job is to guide your son & he doesn’t want to alter his hair therefore she’s going to have to find another ring bearer. If anyone doesn’t like it then tell them to shove it. It’s not your fault your friend waited until last minute to try & force your child into something he doesn’t want to do.
No. Did she not know about his hair before this wedding…? That’s rude and entitled to even request that… to the happy couple!
Her wedding but it’s his body, and she should have expressed that way earlier. Don’t change his hair. His mental peace is more important than her wedding aesthetic
Not in a million years would I made my child change there hair , they love., For anyone apart from themselves. Tell the bride to find someone else
I’d be telling her to find a new ring bearer then
Absolutely not! Do not let this person dictate how you raise your children.
On the day pf the wedding you make sure that Mohawk is perfectly spiked and he’s standing proud of himself!!!
I wouldn’t force him to change his hair to be in a wedding if he is breaking down in tears… She can find someone else.
I would never force my child to change something they love for anyone. Don’t choose your friend over your son. If you force him to do this it’s implying something is wrong about him. He’s perfect and your friend has turned into bridezilla.
Absolutely not!! Don’t do that to that poor boy. He loves his hair leave him alone. If it was that big of an issue for the bride she should’ve never of asked him. Pick your son over some wedding.￼￼￼
I wouldn’t be going to that wedding. Do not try to snuff out your son’s self expression for her
Remove ur whole family from the bridal party and just attend as guests!
Did she know what his hair looked like before having him as part of the wedding?
She can get over it or she can find someone else to be in her wedding. She knew before hand how the hair was.
“I’m not at all excited about forcing my child to…” Seriously? Don’t force him to do anything. It’s his hair. Looks like she’ll need a new ring bearer on short notice
You need new friends. Pkease don’t side with her
Ummm no… sorry… loving my kid means loving all of them… if he’s not good enough then find someone else
They’d be finding a new ring bearer. And bridesmaid. And not go. It may be her day but it’s your son. And his happiness
Unpopular opinion… it would be respectful to the bride for him to do his hair its not a lash out on him and it looks bad she wants the photos to be more formal… and others r right if he can’t do that then forget being part of the wedding ….
Politely tell her no, he doesnt need to be in the wedding…problem solved
Leave your child alone and let her get someone else
She’d have a even bigger mental breakdown if she was trying to force my kid to do something he didn’t want to do. Me and my ENTIRE family wouldn’t attend the wedding whether we were part of it or not.
Nope. You accept my child the way he is or not at all. My son nor I would be participating in that wedding
Personally or I would just style in a way it’s a little bit more appropriate for wedding photos. Show the bride to be.
I’d just not attend her perfect wedding. I can’t live up to such standards, never would expect my kid too.
She honestly should of considered that before she even asked him to be apart of the wedding . Or was his hair different then ? If it was different when she asked then I can understand but if he had it already then she shouldn’t of asked him to be part of the wedding if she was expecting him to change his hair for it
And maybe should of asked you first if he was keeping that hair style if she wasn’t happy for her photos to have him with his red Mohawk and made her decision then
Not leaving it til the last minute and freaking out about something she has known he has had for months. I definitely wouldn’t change his hairstyle he is himself and it’s not worth making him feel like he has to change for someone else’s happiness
To take away his own
I would of asked my son and said they would like to know if we can change your hair colour for the day and if he got upset and said no I would just say back to her sorry he’s had this hair for nearly a year and you knew that when you asked him and I’m not making him do something he doesn’t want to do and I’m sorry you will have to find someone else . It will hurt him either way really because he will probably not feel good enough to be part of the wedding now anyways knowing she doesn’t like his hair poor kid but she knew before and had all this time to say something and he could of had time to get used to the idea that he had to change the colour for one day if he wanted to be the ring bearer
But I wouldn’t let anyone make my kids change who they are because they are my number ones . So I’d be pulling him out and making it seem like it was my decision to pull him out not make him feel like he wouldn’t change his hair so he’s not allowed to go
Put bridezilla in the bin along with her wedding… goo you mamma for sticking up for your son. Keep being an awesome mam letting him be himself
No I wouldn’t she should have made it clear when she asked him and then he could choose whether he wanted to undertake the role at the time
They knew what his hair looked like so it is what it is. Rock it
If she is adamant I would tell her to find another ring bearer. Take your stand he had his hair the way it is when she asked. take him as he is or don’t. Your right in taking a stand.
Tell her you are not changing anything about his hair she can either accept it or find someone else to be the ring barrier. She is crazy if she thinks his hair is what everyone is going to be focused on and it’s going to ruin the wedding.
She’ll have more of a breakdown days away from the wedding with no ring barer.
This should have been a conversation she had with you MONTHS ago so you guys could decide whether to be involved or not.
I’d personally step down. If you can’t accept my family for who they are I don’t want you in their life!
She can find someone else then if she thinks this little thing is going to ruin her day. This is extremely petty and controlling on her part. I also wouldn’t participate. Mental breakdown over hair, come on. She’s nuts.
I won’t go to the wedding if that was the choice she can’t make your child change his hair just to suit her needs. Bridezilla is what she sounds like
No way! When she asked him to be in her wedding, she knew what his hair looked like and probably how much he likes it. The attention will be on her, not on his hair. She needs to chill out!
No, I wouldn’t get rid of it. I have never understood turning a wedding into a huge production where people can’t even look like themselves. It is not going to ruin her day. If she thinks something that small is going to ruin her day then let’s hope nothing actually goes wrong on her wedding day because it isn’t always perfect. Absolutely no one is going to look at him and think the wedding is ruined because he has a red mohawk. They will probably just think he is cute. If he has had that style for a year she has known and had plenty of time to discuss with you or mentioned it when he was asked if she was that superficial.
You could use a colored hairspray black and style it nicely- if you’re still friends with her. But I couldn’t have my son change his appearance for someone else.
How about wash, add gel and brush it down for the day. Easy fix, bride is happy and your kid still has a mohawk once washed. A hairstylist can easily do this.
Nope. Not shaving it. She is having a breakdown because of something else. I think it would be pretty cool to have him with his mowhawk and red hair. Give the wedding some style. I wouldn’t change his appearance because someone else. You’re showing him that you have to change yourself to please others. That’s a NO. she has known of his hair and she should of thought about beforehand. He would be not be in the wedding he is 8 to young to be stressing and feeling hurt about himself. That SAID friend is not thinking straight.
Nope. She asked knowing this was his hair. And she waited until a couple days before to bring it up.
I’d tell her you’re not forcing your son to do either because he doesn’t want to. She can either accept it or find a new ring bearer. Sorry not sorry to her.
Its his hair. She’s being a bridezilla.
Style it in a more formal way and use that root touch up spray stuff that will wash right off.
Nope, not forcing my kid to change himself for anyone. Wedding or not. Friend or not. She better have a back up ring bearer…
I’d personally just not even bother being a part of the wedding. She knew he had the hair BEFORE he was part of the wedding. Tell her to have her photographer photoshop his hair if she has such an issue with it.
Tell the bride to find a new ring bearer is the only option I see here…
You have allowed him to choose to change his hair color to express himself at a very young age and she knew that when she asked him to be the ring bearer. With that, she should not force this! And if she is than I would say kindly that you and your family will no longer be participating in the wedding!
Nope end of story but make sure you wait til the last minute to tell her.
Give your son the choice to change his hair and be in the wedding, or he can choose not to be in the wedding. He should make the choice.
I personally wouldn’t even attend bridzillas big day but defenitly do not do anything to your child’s hair
I’d choose my child over bridezilla
I’d teach my son how to politely bow out of the ring bearing duty. We shouldn’t compromise ourselves for another person, let alone for just a day that isn’t even ours. He’s indicated where his priorities are, and they don’t align with hers - which is ok, but not compatible. In the end he’ll be happier keeping his style and not being in the wedding.