I dont see the issue. Just do a birthday at your house.
You own a belt,birthdays just come once a year
Birthdays r once a yr need to take away an every day thing
I feel like this poor kid needs a hug and some therapy. Sounds like he’s trying to communicate what’s going on with him and no one is listening except you. He’s hurting if he’s acting out like that. Don’t take away shit. Sit him down and ask him why he’s hurting and how you can help him. Have a healthy conversation about what’s going on… Make that kid feel like the special kid he his and celebrate him in every way. Let him know he’s loved
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Find the root cause of his behaviour then decide
birthday celebrations should be for the mother. lol
Honestly, i dont know how bad it is. If he is older than 10 and doing some bad stuff, such as sneaking out or stealing things, then yeah. No birthday. Younger and just acting out. No. That just means a talk with the dad is in order to find out what is going on it that home that is upsetting the child so much. It would have to be breaking the law behavior in an older child for me to punish a kid that severely.
they think he’s having problems now…they are being way too extreme. I think this is sad.
I don’t agree with it. I’m a mom and a step mom. My husband and I do our best to run our house and let his ex run her house the way she sees fit. However, there’s a lot of conflict because she doesn’t discipline AT ALL. So we get to be the bad guys a lot because we care about grades, attitude, etc. but I’d never take away anyone’s birthday, no matter what. That’s your one special day.
Also I STRONGLY believe that unless abuse or neglect is suspected…you kinda need to mind your own business and let them parent how they see fit
How old is he? Depending on the severity of his actions he may have his party cancelled or just have cake on his day
maybe he needs therapy for the behavior issues between the households. kids act up in the other parent’s house because they have emotions about the split house living that they don’t know how to cope with.
or he just gets away with more there so he tests his limits more.
When I was a kid I showed up for a birthday party & was told that Mom cancelled it for punishment.
If you take the party away at least take him for ice cream or something on his bday … maybe it’s just me but birthday parties are memories they’ll have forever
Yes I agree. You earn things with good behavior. You don’t reward bad behavior
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! Would you take away birthday parties as a form of discipline/punishment?
Do not take away his birthday party find another form of punishment
Actually I sure would depending on how old the child is
Yes I would and have. Especially if nothing else is working.
Absolutely it’s a privledge to have a party
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Heck no that’s so sad and will only cause him to act out more
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As much as different households have different rules , when it comes to the same child it’s important that the parents communicate in terms of rules, boundaries, praises and discipline when it’s affecting both households. If you aren’t happy about this punishment, think of a compromise (eg, can have birthday party but take away/limit Xbox time until then). This way, the co parent is more likely to agree as you’ve presented a fair point in a civil manner . Communicating is so important, especially if his behaviour is lacking due to different household rules
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My 8 year old son said last week “I could slap everyone here and still get a birthday party” needless to say, he isn’t having a birthday. His attitude is getting worse.
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Saying he can’t take away his birthday party is showing that child a form of entitlement. He can behave and act out in any way, and have no consequences. If he has been told that if said behavior continued, there will be no party, and behavior continues… There’s no party then. You can’t set a boundary and not uphold it with your children. He can still have his bday with no party for the celebration.
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Kudos to your ex-husband. Sounds like he’s had enough of your sons bad behavior. He will survive without a birthday party and maybe he’ll learn a lesson. You throwing him a party will not benefit anyone.
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He can have his birthday but just no party no friends as others have said follow through with the punishment and boundaries
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Taking away his birthday party might make him think about his behaviour. You can celebrate a birthday with presents, cards and a cake, this doesn’t have to be done with a party. He could be given the choice, stop the bad behaviour and you can have a party. If not their is no party!
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I’ve taken away a birthday party after repeated stealing… I will not praise bad behaviour, these children our the future, yes it was hard, it was horrible, but I will not support a thief 
maybe your child will realise that the behaviour they are showing is not going to be accepted, kids push boundaries, that’s part of growing up, but if it’s constant, then they obviously aren’t learning and the punishment needs to go up a level I think xx
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I’m sorry but I would cancel too can’t be rewarded regardless if it’s your birthday sorry can’t have a bad attitude on your birthday either and expect everyone to take it… I’d still take him to eat somewhere and buy him something just no party j.s
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Their house, their rules. Give your son a big birthday party at your house. If you’ve already tried to get his Dad and Step Mom to change their minds and they refuse to, there’s nothing that you can do to make them give your son a party but YOU can give him a GREAT party!! 
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If he is in his fathers home
, then he has to do what he feels is right. You can organise a party for when he is with you
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I don’t know. I’d acknowledge his Birthday by giving him a modest gift and coordinating a community service event that day, but he wouldn’t be having a birthday party because in real life, when you can’t abide by the rules, you lose your freedom or your life. You certainly don’t get a party.
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I took away Christmas presents one year because of awful behaviour and my lo had to earn each one of them back
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Throw him a party when he gets home to you. I feel there are underlying issues here with his father which you need to talk about with your son. Good luck xx
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I had my birthday completely cancelled once when I was a teenager, all my family were told not to buy me anything etc,it was harsh but I changed my ways after that!
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Don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. And besides they’ve set the consequence and with warning and communication around it I’m assuming and I’m also assuming it was meant to be happening at their house so basically what happens at their house is their business as long as he’s safe and vice versa. I’ve taken away bdays, presents at xmas, con ert n holiday trips etc.
Definitely not cancel his birthday 
You give him the party instead
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Yes celebrate his birthday, but that doesn’t mean to have a party. A simple cake and immediate family
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I took away Christmas one year so…
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you should not be having parties for birthdays to start with
Clearly he is having emotional issues which he needs HELP not punishment! Does his dad have a new family? This can be so hard for kids. He only visits 2 times a year and probably not feeling like a part of the family. Has anyone sat with him and asked him? I’d start there.
Honestly if the child been a totle asshole for lack of better words I take the party as well, I refuse to praise a child who can not act right after being told reapedly to stop
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If junior killed someone, maybe
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How old is he? What behavior issues is he having? Is there more going on that you don’t know about in why he is acting this way? I would not use his birthday as punishment ever but would seek the cause for his actions.
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Tell him to go outside and cut you a switch he will straighten up real quick
If he is in his fathers home acting out… It is up to him how he disciplines him… I think that undermining the father is a bad idea… U may not like or agree with it but i would not do anything about it… Son will not benefit from you and dad not standing behind each other during times like that… Tell him u know it sucks… But what dad says goes… And dad should do the same if it were the other way around!
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During THEIR time, you have zero say in the matter. Actual Birthday PARTIES are a privilege, not a right. His day of birth can still be celebrated, but if he has not earned the privilege of a party d/t his own behavior, that’s how it is.
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Sorry but I agree. Its up to them what they do when the child is in their care. Its their rules.
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When in thier household, thier rules apply but you both need to unite and find out why he is having behavioural problems.
The going between 2 households may be upsetting for him
Find out why he is playing up
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This is a definitely okay. In the future, I think it’s important to have the same rules, disciplinary actions for both households.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! Would you take away birthday parties as a form of discipline/punishment?
You are entitled to nothing in this life. Just remember that
You play, you pay!!NO NOTHING TILL YOU SMARTEÑ UP!¡!
Do not reward that child with a party.
I warn him id take his party if he carries on acting up then he has been warned its his choice what he does after that
CAN’T reward someone for continuously doing bad. How will he be the day of? The day before?Kids now days expect things even when they are bad
My nephew was always naughty!! By the time his father was on his third wife, the only attention he got was if he was naughty-therefore it got worse and worse. He is now a 50 something year old drug addict with nothing but his habit☹️
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I think you son need a professional help terapy
No that would be too hurtful
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Celebrate but in low key don’t make it big. But still celebrated. But I do agree action needs to happen for bad behavior.
I would never take away a child’s party. That’s a formative memory.
I would instill different or more consistent punishments/ consequences/ restrictions and possibly family counseling.
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I guess I’m that kind of parent! Cause we’ll ill put it this way just cats its there birthday it died not give them a free pass to act out be mouthy miss behave be rude or so on so forth… plus why would I spend probably a good amount of money and a lot of hard work and stress to have ac party for a child that can’t show me respect and that clearly isn’t grateful for the extra fun things they get to do
I think you need to talk to him to find out what is causing his behavioral issues. Maybe it is a call for help that something is going on.
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It has to e so very hard on kids to be shuffled back and forth think how you would feel to see your dad with some one new but taking his party away will only make thinks worse you need to have a good talk with dad when he come home have a nice party for him
Have the birthday party. It’s a way to celebrate he’s achievements of the year but, make it small. No friend just family. I would though take any presents off of him and ground him the next day.
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Personally I say cancel the party if his behavior has been bad enough to warrant the need for punishment. Maybe not getting to do something fun with his friends (I’m assuming this is party with friends and non-immediate family) for his birthday will make him realize that his behavior has consequences. Im not saying you shouldn’t celebrate his birthday, but do something low key like a cake and gifts with just immediate family (parents and siblings). If he is grounded and any of the gifts given involve activities he is grounded from (video games or similar) then take those gifts after he opens them and put them away until the end of the grounding. If his behavior improves you can always to do something special once his grounding/punishment is over.
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Birthdays are overrated !! He will get over it!! 
Just a party.
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So… He can be disrespectful to adults not listen misbehave and you still think they should throw him a whole party??? Yeah nope thats whats wrong with kids today they get rewarded for bad behavior. I mean yes within the household say happy birthday have cake and ice cream dinner ect but not a huge party with friends and everyone. He evidently isnt showing appreciation for them or their feelings.
Please don’t take away his birthday party! I guarantee, he will never forget it! It will live with him forever! 
I’m sure you guys can think of a different discipline!
No. There are other ways of punishment
Sometimes it’s hard to get fathers attention, I would figure out why he’s acting out, especially if it’s just at his dad’s. It could be just for attention. But no, I would never take away my child party.
Cancel it , your son needs to understand that everything has consequences.he is growing and testing the water of what he can get away with. U may not like their parenting but you will thank them one day… he spends more time with u than them and u need help in the department of getting him in check. What’s there to celebrate bad behavior? Nah honey. If u throw him a party he will double up the trouble. As our children grow older let’s learn to expose them to the hash reality of life. Imagine if he did something really big that requires jail time,would u be able to walk him out of jail because u think the punishment is to hash. U can always do something for him months later when his behavior changes.
I don’t agree with this either. I do believe that a child should be disciplined and that there are other ways of doing so just definitely not taking away the celebration of his/her birthday, that’s not fair.
I wouldnt do the party. It’s not his birthday, it’s just the party. if he starts behaving consistently maybe throw a small surprise party for him as a way to celebrate his birthday with friends and to celebrate his new attitude.
I would cancel a party, but I wouldn’t, not celebrate his birthday. He would still get his favorite dinner and a cake. I would probably ask him if he wanted to open his gifts and then have to wait use them until he was off grounding. Or he could wait to open his gifts.
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Absolutely not, I agree with you, there are other forms of discipline they could use… maybe they should look more into seeing why his behavior has changed… Divorce is hard on children, even if it has been awhile…
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Birthdays should be celebrated. No one knows what tomorrow may bring.
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Ever think the behavioral issues are stemming from change or something he feels out of control and doesn’t know how to express his feelings? Different household, different people, different approaches. They may yell a lot at him over there and you may talk nicely to him. He may feel like he doesn’t fit in, or was replaced and he’s acting out because of it. I think discipline is good when there’s a cause, but I also think sometimes there’s a reason a child is doing this and maybe the parents should figure that out. Especially if he doesn’t do that stuff at your house but does it there…
Sorry that’s what wrong , kids rules the more you give the more the rule no gifts , no party show him 2 can play the game we love them an want what’s best not criminals
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Take away whatever you want if he can’t behave he doesn’t deserve a party !!! You warned him he knew what the consequences would be for bad behavior. Stand strong your decision wasn’t easy to make but it’s the right one.
First off id need to know what ur son actually did, b4 i cld answer this question and u neglected to put that in ur post.
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It is not mandatory to have a party. Any kind of acknowledgement to celebrate them should do. Taking the party away doesn’t take their birthdate. Whatever punishment they give you should respect. If that will help, let it be.
The important thing is that they follow through at this point.
Tough love ! One of the hardest parts of being a parent. Do not reward his behavior, keep party cancelled!
Take it away temporarily and let him have it when his behavior improves.