Depends on the age. Also, let him have the party but afterwards keep the toys or birthday presents up and not let him play with them till the behavior gets better and follows the rules.
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No i. Would never do that. There r children all over that have never even had a birthday cake or a gift. Idc what the situation it’s not right . Every child should be celebrated leave the punishment for after the party. These kids have gone through enough w 2020. Now numbers r going back up who knows what the future holds
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A child should definitely have a balance of rules and punishments but taking away a birthday party is just wrong. It would be different if it was a friends birthday party and the child was told he cannot go as a punishment, but to take away his own birthday party… nope!
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No but if there’s issues all along there wouldn’t be one. But once it’s been planned and a behavior starts I wouldn’t
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Depends what the behavioral issues entail.
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No birthday party. 
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I’d take it away. We don’t punish bad behavior. Teach him now that it won’t be tolerated and consequences are severe. Don’t make empty threats.
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A child does not need a birthday party to celebrate their birthday. A special meal, cake, family and a gift or two is more than enough. Birthday parties with friends fun and games is a privilege not a right. I would suggest you and the father sit down with your kid and figure out why he is behaving so badly most likely out of boredom or wanting attention. No parent wants to take away fun things but no parent wants to put up with bratty children either. Children need to learn there are consequences for bad behavior This bought be a lesson he needs to learn.
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When someone is going through a hard time ,why do people pawn it off as being rebellious or having an attitude/acting out …i feel like thats a damn good kid right there …maybe he is acting out there for a reason …or because of something happening …i wouldnt doubt it… They r taking his party away …bc he acted out …but what did they say/do for him to bahave how he did …side note …its demeaning to take a way a party for a child …its like saying “you dont matter”
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I dont necessary agree but its not your house. Not your rules. How would you feel if his dad told you how to parent while the kid is at your you?
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Lol it’s a normal punishment I’d say, you can still celebrate his birthday but if hes been a brat then taking away is birthday party is a fair punishment Id say, take him to his grandparents house for dinner for his birthday lol
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Why would you treat a kid that’s been a right little a hole knowing his birthday is coming up…yea celebrate his birth by telling him happy birthday…I agree with his dad and step mum
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Do you wanna teach him a lesson or do you want the bad behavior to continue? You can’t have it both ways. If he’s old enough to know better, he’s old enough to CHOOSE his behavior more wisely. It doesnt matter who’s house he’s at. If you’re being a brat and not following the rules, there is no privilege that’s off limits to take away as punishment. Privileges are privileges. They aren’t just given. Rules are rules. Judging from your reaction, he’s not stupid. He’s playing you like a fiddle against your ex, and you’re over here all for it. If dad’s not getting through to him, then as a mom, it’s your job to stand with your ex in solidarity. Not because you agree, but because it’s what’s best for your child to learn an actual lesson here. If you give in and give him a party, what is he going to learn? That if dad says no, ask mom. She will cave like a lava cake out of spite.
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So why don’t you have a party at your house?
Depends on the age as well as the behavioral issue.
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Taking away a birthday will just make his anger and rage spike. I would still celebrate, and switch up the parenting positive reinforcement can do wonders. Celebrate and positivity and tell him all the things you love about him and when he does something great reward him, instead of punishing every time he’s bad, he obviously has been punished and he doesn’t care….
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No matter what I hope your child doesn’t know you disagree with his fathers choice
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Honestly with him acting out and not behaving for the last however many weeks/almost 2 months, I wouldn’t throw a party either. Games/gifts/play dates are privileges not a right just cause it’s your birthday.
He wants to have/do fun things he needs to behave.
I’d Let him pick whatever he wants for dinner and a movie for that night. Cake would also be optional if he wanted to act out that day 
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What type of birthday party is/was planned ?? If invitations have gone out, then keep the party. Punishment should be physical. Lots of housework, lots of cleaning, lots of being grounded. My house was never cleaner than when I had teen agers ( LOL) !! THEY LEARNED.
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Honestly that is his dad. He can reasonably disabling him on his time how he sees fit. Just like you can choose to celebrate his birth on your time.
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A party is extra for the birthday day.
It’s privilege to get a party with friends. So it’s fun special but not needed.
You can still celebrate without a party plenty of kids never get a party
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Take away birthday party with friends, yes, celebrating their birth at home as a family nope.
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I would celebrate it with him somehow anyway. Even if it’s something simple. There are other ways to punish kids rather than take away special events that only happen once.
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I’ve taken my daughter’s away. She was being completely disrespectful and frankly didn’t deserve it. And she learned her lesson
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That’s a pretty normal punishment. They can still acknowledge his birthday without a party. I’d be more concerned with getting to the bottom of what the catalyst is for such behavior. That needs to be addressed before it escalates.
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I took a party away because my daughter was acting up at school really bad. She straightened up after that. My rule is I do not reward bad behavior. It only gets worse if you do.
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Take away the present but not the party
Well this is a really sad thread
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He still gets a party at your house? He’ll be alright
If he’s been misbehaving almost an entire summer, why would he deserve a party? Y’all too afraid to punish your children and that’s what’s wrong with this generation.
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A party is not a necessity n the child can celebrate without it. Bad behaviour doesn’t equal lots of friends n lollies n all that
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It’s their time, their choice. You may not agree with it. That’s fine. But don’t critised them to your child. That will undermine their authority & cause more behavior problems.
Instead of punishment your child needs counseling. There’s possible emotional issues that can be affecting his behavior. Especially switching between 2 households with different parenting styles.
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A Birthday is a right!!! Sorry. It’s not just a thing…it’s the frickin day yer born!!! A day we had no day in choosing.
Can’t discipline your child, so you take their BIRTHDAY AWAY???
Wow.
My Mom was a teacher and my Dad OPP…no matter what, us FOUR kids did, we ALWAYS HAD A BIRTHDAY.
A birthday is privilege?
On what fricking planet??
Just cuz it’s your birthday?
Sounds like some pretty hateful people whose birthdays were destroyed or ruined by others…
Blessed I was raised by my parents.
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Birthday party is a reward. It’s not good to reward bad behavior. By rewarding bad behavior the bad behavior continues. My children have had birthdays, Christmas and other holidays and event participation revoked from them due to inappropriate behavior. This was after the fact of general playing, electronics and movie night was taken. It is always best to start with something small and say if your behavior continues then such and such will be taken as well. They’ll get tired of their presents being taken and start to comply eventually. Some children are more hard headed than others but just keep consistency. Good luck!
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Depends what the child DID….on how harsh the punishment should be
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His home his rules 
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Maybe you and your ex should do same thing…celebrate with family supper and cake…let the child know his behavior isn’t acceptable there or at your place as well. Its called co-parenting. Same rules should be made by you both and follows in both homes. If not he/she going to play you both!
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Look at it this way correct the child’s behavior but DO NOT TAKE THAT PARTY AWAY … you never know when it could be his last birthday… they all need to be cherished!! As everyday should be as well… but taking that away is only going to lead to more resentment and more bad behavior.
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I personally think that’s a bit harsh. I would never cancel my kids bday party. There are better ways to punish a kid.
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I would never use a birthday as a punishment. There’s so many other consequences you can give, I personally would never do that.
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Taking a child’s birthday away from them is harsh,I would never punish my child by taking their birthday away,I also won’t exclude my child from Joining in from their family parties either as that is also harsh and it spoils the party and they will end up growing up hating their parents for it and some might even end up with depression, punishments can be dealt with behind closed doors
Have your party at your house…
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I would throw him a party that only family is invited to. He can invite his friends next year if he’s been better behaved.
If it’s bad enough yes. A birthday party is to celebrate him, but you have to get them where it hurts or they won’t ever learn.
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No way that is his day to be celebrated
He is acting up because he doesn’t feel wanted. Taking away his birthday is saying… YOU don’t matter, you aren’t wanted and might as well not have been born! That is what his brain will equate to cancelling his birth! Someone needs to give him a party if he was promised one and/or usually has one. Come up with consequences for his actions.
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Take his party with his friends away and just have a family dinner with a cake to celebrate his birthday. No presents… tell him he can have a nice party with friends next year if he can learn to act right.
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If he’s only acting up there, I would wonder if something was wrong with that household and those parents that is adversely affecting the kid. How is his behavior at home?
If it’s normal or fine, maybe “the problem” ISN’T the kid or his behavior. J’s…
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We took my step sons huge expensive birthday party at a water park away for some pretty bad extreme behavior, but I still threw him a small party at our house with a couple friends and he still got all his presents and cake etc.
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Perhaps punishment isn’t the answer. He’s acting out. It’s time to figure out why.
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I personally would not have taken a way a birthday celebration… there are other punishments to be had…
But i do agree that what does for one needs to go for the other… it had to be a united front, but did they at least discuss the taking away of said bday celebration, with you before they decided that or …?
A party can always be given at a later date at your house… just let him know that you agree with the punishment needing to be given, but since you love him as much as you do, you don’t want to let a birthday go by totally uncelebrated… keep the “party” small to like a cake and take a friend or two to the movies?
I will never understand how neurotypicals can so readily forget what it was like to be whatever age the kid in front of them is. Also behavior is communication for all kids. Punishment rarely fixes a single thing. Figuring out what they’re communicating does.
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He should have his party
His birthday party should never be affected by his behavior. Its his birthday…a day to celebrate his life
You have your own party for him, if they won’t it’s on them.
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First step would be to figure out exactly why he is acting out and his behavior is so bad. (Especially if this behavior is only seen at their home.)
As far as the party goes… It’s hard to say whether it’s appropriate to take it away or not without knowing exactly what he has done behaviorally that would warrant his birthday celebration to be taken away. I could understand taking his BIG celebration away for EXTREME constant bad behavior or dangerous behavior but even then he should still be celebrated but maybe without his friends and with only family. I would imagine that taking his birthday away completely would be detrimental and only cause even worse behavior or “acting out” due to feeling unwanted. There are other affective forms of punishment that wouldn’t include taking a child’s birthday celebration away.
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I’ve taken my oldest daughters birthday party away as discipline, my sister did the same with her oldest… They have to learn somehow, parties are a reward. He can still celebrate his birthday but because of his actions he wont get a party.
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I tried to punish my daughter by taking away her 12th birthday, my family ignored me said I was mean they gave her a party anyway, so from then on she told me I can never punish her, and she waged a war it was the worst thing in my life. She now doesn’t speak to me. So stick to what the deal is, underminding each other the doesn’t work.
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I did this to my son for his 6th birthday. He had warnings often considering his age. It wasn’t any kind of issues, just didn’t think I would go through with it. I did. Both my husband’s and my parents supported my request not to send gifts. It changed his behavior when he realized there weren’t even any gifts bought for later. Zero compromise and zero negotiations. It worked.
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You can still celebrate a birthday without a party. Parties are not mandatory for birthdays, it’s a privilege to get one, especially if the child is misbehaving.
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Taking his party away is not canceling his birthday. He should not be rewarded with a huge party if he acts like a brat.
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I wouldn’t but you can’t control him. I would mention that ur feeling on it though. Let him do his thing even if it messed up… Just make sure you celebration of his birthday is the best it can be.
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I wouldnt take the party away. However, if they were on punishment prior to their bday - then they get the day off punishment for that day and the next day they go right back to their punishment, whatever it maybe. That always seemed to bring my kids around because they wanted their birthday stuff, that they couldnt have because of the punishment
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I dont agree with this at all. But I also don’t agree that children should be punished. They should be guided, supported and given tools . It really seems extreme to take away a birthday party.
You may not agree with their punishment but it’s their punishment.
If I were you, I would simply tell your child that is his punishment and that’s that. Leave personal opinions out of it. If you throw those personal opinions out there- you will sway your child’s view of his other parent in a negative manner and take away from the facts. Facts being that they are tired of his behavior and canceled his party. Maybe next time he will take them more seriously.
If you celebrate his birthday at your house- awesome! But no need to make it a “I love you more because I didn’t cancel your birthday” event, just keep it to this is our plan and we are carrying on with it.
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I do not agree with taking a party away. That’s a celebration of his birthday. Not a punishment
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No way that’s so cruel. Birthday parties should remain and find another way for discipline. A child will never forget being skipped on their birthday.
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He might not even see a present!!! Depends on how bad his behaviour was. I never rewarded bad behavior …
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Idk I’ve never taken away holidays or birthdays as a punishment. I’ve had my son grounded on Easter not allowed to stay with his cousins at grandmas, but I could never take it away. That’s a little over the top in my opinion
Don’t take his Birthday party away.I agree he needs disciplined, maybe counseling to find out what is behind the behavior issues.
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Punishment needs to corelate with the behavior. Did he throw a fit at a party? Punch a birthday clown? Knock down cake?
Also, you can celebrate his birthday without having a party.
I would not take any holiday away from my child how will my child look forward to his bdays or holidays if I use that as a punishment I would punish in other ways but never bdays or holidays
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Maybe cancel the party b/c he is on punishment. I would still celebrate his birthday with immediate family only… Once he starts behaving, reschedule with friends, even classmates… That way he will understand what he did and learn to be more respectful and listen…
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There is no right or wrong answer. SIMPLY ask yourself if you punished your child and deamed a punishment, would you appreciate your ex telling you that you were wrong? It’s honestly none of your business what goes on in his house and it’s none of his business what goes on in yours. You share a son, not a house.
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I have taken my kids bday away. They get the warning. They act out, they miss out. Plain and simple.
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Depends on what the kid did to have a birthday party taken away. Would have to be something major. Other then that I wouldn’t take away a party. I grew up with not having parties and it sucked that my parents never threw me one. Had a friend throw me a party I cried like a baby.
What people need to consider when it comes to this child’s “behavior issues” is that, across the country right now, more and more teenager’s are struggling due to the lockdown because of COVID.
Teenager’s struggle sometimes in the best of circumstances. But, what they’re dealing with now, no school, sports, or anything else that they’re used to doing.
It’s hard for them, and they’re acting out.
I’ve seen this in kids who are normally really good kids.
I would first try to get to the root of the issue, and then see if being punished is warranted.
Depends how old he is. Older than 10 then yeah I would cancel the party. Can’t misbehave then get a day full of gifts lol no.
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Celebrate his birthday just without an elaborate party, how old is he anyway?
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I’ve taken my sons away. I did acknowledge his Birthday in his birthday I baked a cake and sang happy birthday. He learned real quick. U can not talk to me or other people and act up and get what u want it doesn’t work in this house. Good luck
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no i wouldn’t take it away but i would make how extravagant it is in line with good behavior…no spoiling while the child is involved in bad behavior! bare minimum, no sleepovers, basic gifts…or if they are asking for something big like a video game console, phone tv etc you can say ok and get it and then tell them when their behavior is in line they can actually use it?
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Birthday is a special day no one deserves to be punished on that day…however the discipline process suppose to be implemented before hand …1. Take away things they love phone…internet, video games… engaged them in chores send them to do volunteer work…
I planned a vacation for my son’s birthday and did not take him because of his constant misbehaving
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Not take away his party and maybe look at some counseling for him to learn some coping skills. Kids may seem okay and just being bratty but usually there is something more going on under the surface.
It’s not necessary to have a party, that’s a luxury. I’m sure his dad amd step mother have bought him gifts but to go the extra mile extra cost for a child who is misbehaving isn’t a great way to show how you get things. Especially if his behaviour is being ungrateful or disrespectful then I agree. Nothing stopping you doing him a party though that’s your choice like it’s his dads too x
I was grounded one year one my birthday…i was not allowed out of my room until an hour before my party, and after the last guest left i was grounded again
I would want to know why he is acting up? Is it a new behavior? What changes if any are going on? Is there less attention on him? Etc. there is always a reason behind the behavior. It doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have consequences but finding that out will help him learn better coping skills and maybe you abs his father can accommodate things if it helps fix things.
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I agree with you. There are many other ways to discipline a child. Dont take away their party
No i wouldnt especially s4nce he only sees his kid 2 days a month is he like this with u to if not i would also talk to him to see why hes like that at his dads
Idk, this is hard. How old is the child? What kind of behavior is happening to receive this kind of punishment?
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Um no find something different your basically saying your not going to celebrate him because he can’t behave nope fine a different way
It’s called tough love but what is the root of the bad behavior
I would find out why the child is acting out. Sounds like to me something may be taking place at dads house to cause the problem. I agree with Melissa Petro below but something is causing to act up in order to get attention.
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If he acts like a brat, lay leather this butt. It only takes a couple times if they aren’t bull headed
Yes I would. No party. I would do a cake and a gift but no party. A party is not a mandatory event. He needs to realize all the things he enjoys in life his parents provide. His behavior should directly affect his rewards.
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Have a party at your house. His house his rules
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Yes no gifts no party. At least he has a home, food, and two households.
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I would not take away his birthday party
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I would definitely take it away. Discipline a child now and a police officer won’t have to do it later. Severe consequences may be the only chance at changing behavior issues. Some people unfortunately hit and abuse their children, this is simply losing a privilege
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No… Because you are just teaching your child that their birthday don’t matter… Take away games or tv time… Punishment should never devalue them as a human in any way shape or form…i prefer a consequence than a punishment to be more effective and not cause of emotional or physical trama…
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