Would you be okay with your exes new girlfriend keeping an eye on your infant while you worked? I have never met this chick yet he expect me be okay with me watching our newborn…he says I am overreactign and I should trust him but they have only been together for one year…help
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Meet her for coffee with your child and see how they get along and how you feel about her. Maybe do a few outings together to get to know her
first and foremost absolutely not until you meet the girl upon meeting her after shaking hands, you need to let her know I don’t want your man he’s my ex for a reason, but as long as you’re good to my child, we will have no problem!!!
 plain and simple and straight to the point
I have two different kids dads that was my approach, and they have absolutely been the very best stepmom’s in the whole wide world. I appreciate them.
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I’ve never ever met my BD girl but she takes my girls on every weekend like her own for a few year now. Respect her for that. As long as my children are happy and she makes them feel safe and happy I don’t see the issue.
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I never left my newborn with anyone!
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If its on his time its up to him. A year is a decent amount of time to be together. Even if custody says new relationships can’t be around the child this isnt a new relationship.
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It sounds like you need to meet her and go from there. Regardless she is going to be around your child wether it be now or when baby is older so you should develop some kind of relationship with her.
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Would you be willing to meet her and get to know her? Then later down the road if she’s trustworthy allow her to watch your kiddo.
Unfortunately what he does on his time with the kid isn’t up to you. (Court will say the same). Set time up to meet the gf and set boundaries. If this is someone who is gonna be around your kid, you should very much be getting to know her.
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My ex’s bm had their baby 1 month after we started dating. Less than a year later she was asking me to raise their kids so she could go to work. She ended up never seeing them on her weekends. I had all the responsibilities of being mom for their kids but no rights.
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Nope. Not if you never met her. You don’t know anything about her.
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A year I not the same as a few weeks. But also it sounds like he isn’t trust worthy if he was in a relationship with another woman but got you pregnant.
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If the father trusts his girlfriend then I see no problem and a year is long enough to know a person to,yes you should trust him
So you have a new born and he is with his partner a year 
that doesn’t add up really.
Seems like you were with him and got pregnant while he was with her so he cheated on his gf with you.
Not a hope would I let her mind a new born
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How has he been with her a year and you have a newborn with him? Regardless, no I wouldn’t leave a newborn with someone I didn’t know.
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If u haven’t met her then no I wouldn’t let her watch your newborn…but if they been together a year then obviously he cheated on you if u have a new born with this guy
A year isn’t a short relationship, you have a newborn so they’ve been together your whole pregnancy? I’d want to meet her and take it from there.
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Newborn and they have been together a year? Why have you not met her knowing she’s gonna be around the child you and her bf share?
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As retired Family Law Attorney after 20 years, there’s nothing you can do about it.
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Well in coparenting situation you can’t control his time. So meet her so you can be comfortable cause there’s something wrong with the math or this new born is really a toddler
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Well that’s his decision… a year… I was expecting you to say a few months… his parenting time is his parenting time and if she is willing to watch while you work that’s pretty great unless you want to pay for childcare… meet her! More love for your child isn’t a bad thing! If you are going back to work who would watch the baby otherwise? So if anything be happy to take the help! Meet her with an open heart, have open communication with her and let her know she can contact any time about the baby and build something good… if she is willing to be apart of your babies life and take that on then why be weird …
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I’d be asking to meet her first
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What is sad here is you have to go back to work while you have a new baby.
Go meet her, he chose you. Your ok, so cut her some slack…it may work out good. But if you
Feel off about it don’t do it…
I wouldn’t leave my newborn with anyone, including their Dad. Wait until the baby is older. But you also need to meet her before then
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It’s his kid his choice if it’s on his time
I’m going to be the oddball here. It’s not up to you. His parenting time you get no say.
The court will tell you exactly that. Unless you have solid evidence that she is a danger to the child it’s not your choice.
It’s his kid too.
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A year is a fairly long tiime. When the child is with him you cant dictate what he does. Unless a court have put provosions in place. Ask to meet her of you’re that worried.
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The math don’t add up there. Annnnd… newborns don’t usually have to spend overnight with their fathers, so no, it wouldn’t be happening to me or mine
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How is she new if she’s been in the picture for a year?
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But also, who he brings his child around during his parenting time is unfortunately not up to you. Your best bet is to meet her and make sure she knows that if she needs help/support with the baby that you are there.
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They’ve been together a year she is no longer new. Her relationship has fuck all to do with if she’s trustworthy. Why don’t you actually meet her yourself and get to know her.
No. Definitely not a newborn.
It amazes me how many of you don’t trust your baby Daddy with your newborns even when you are still with them:rofl:
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A year is NOT new. And how old are you considering newborn?
If they get married…it would be the babys step mom…correct??? If yes possibly the mother of this child’s future half siblings? If so yes let her babysit. After all your going to have to co parent sooner or later.
Straight no my new born would be with me and me only…some woman are jealous and hurt ya kids on purpose
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No. I don’t even leave a newborn with the father alone for more than 1-2 hours. Most men I’ve observed in life absolutely sucked with newborn care.
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How have they been together a year and you have a newborn with him? Pregnancy = 9 months, the math ain’t mathing sis.
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Has she had any children?
Sad 
newborn should be with the parents
Huh? This makes no sense…
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A newborn? No. Should be with a parent.
A) no you shouldn’t trust someone you’ve never met to watch your children regardless of age
B) kinda weird for the gf to want to watch the side chick’s new baby…
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They have been together for 1 year and your have a new born with him. Set up a meeting with her get to know her and just let it roll
No. I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with it until your child can communicate in some way
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I’m confused. A newborn, but ex had been with girlfriend over a year. Can we get this cleared up?
Plus, how long and often is she going to be sitting?
It isn’t up to you who he chooses to let be around the child when the child is in his care. You are going to have to let this go
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I’d make them let me meet her
I say sit down and meet her cause that would be a big help
If it’s his parenting time you have no say. That’s from a judges perspective. I’ve been through court. It is what it is.
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The court will tell you that you don’t have a choice. If you have shared custody, what happens during dads parenting time is his business. What happens during yours is your business. I know how it works. I’ve dealt with it for 14 years.
You need to meet her first
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You can’t control this. Go meet her. Be civil. It’s better in the end for ALL. Including that baby who will grow up with civil parents and see her mother respect the other woman. I’m telling you right now if you choose not to respect this it’s always gonna be messy. And why would you want that!
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Maybe schedule a meeting to actually meet her? Anyone would have reservations in that situation , so I think your right
Question… how have they been together a year and you have a newborn? Or do you mean a few months old?
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Very interesting, depends on if you were the main chick or the side piece because he definitely was with you both at the same time.
I’d probably trust her more then a man in all honesty
Absolutely NOT if you haven’t met her!! You are a mother first!
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Soooo you have a newborn and they’ve been together for a year. Considering you slept with him while he had a girl AND got pregnant… I trust her more than I trust you!
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“Only” a year lol that’s not a short amount of time. If that’s his baby then you can’t really tell him he can’t have his partner around, especially if they’ve been together for a year. Maybe if it were just a couple weeks or months I would understand your hesitation, but if your only issue against it is because they’ve been dating for “only” a year then you can’t keep his child away from him. However it is perfectly fine to ask to meet so you could at least say you know who is around your baby. And if it’s a brand new baby then usually they stay with mom and don’t spend nights elsewhere for a while. But other than that you’re going to have to learn how to coparent.
Why is everyone worried about the timeline? Sounds legit to me. He got with his new girl right when he knocked her up. Y’all fucking nosey just answer her question or move on. I didn’t trust my kid with anyone, even family when they were new.
“Only been together a year.” You have a new born… Something isn’t right here… That is where I’m stuck… If it’s on his time, it’s not your business. If it’s all the time, well is she doing it for free?
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Wait I’m confused you have a newborn with him but his girlfriend and him have been together for a full year?
Natalie Brown truth! That’s what the judge told my sons ex that he has a daughter with. When it’s dad’s time, he is the one to decide who has any contact with the child. Not mothers business and she doesn’t have any reason trying to control that.
You say newborn? He’s been in this other relationship for a year?
Do you expect to get his approval for anyone you may try to bring into your childs life?
This whole situation is off. You have a newborn with him and he has a “new” girl for “only” a year? The 3 of you have not sat down to figure this out? If she has resentment type of feelings towards you, there is no way my newborn will be around her. Is it a safe place for your baby? If yes, talk to her. Meet her. Any drama you create for a situation that doesn’t require it, is going to hurt you or the baby in the long run
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They’ve been together a year…but you and him have a newborn?
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Time lines here aren’t adding up…if they’ve been together for a year and you have a newborn- I’m going out on a limb and thinking that you were the “other women” and got pregnant. Whether you knew he had a partner or not. Imagine how she feels knowing her boyfriend stepped outside of the relationship, got someone else pregnant and is now potentially being looked down upon when they child’s father has parenting access.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my newborn with her or anyone for that matter…
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Go meet her then. Don’t be weird and bitter. I mean, if this is a serious relationship, she needs time to bond with your child to ensure a good relationship with her step mom. Or I guess you could dramatically quit your job because you can’t find a different sitter? Y’all got too comfortable normalizing toxic behaviors. Give your kid a better life experience.
I wasnt even ready for family to watch my newborn.
Were you the original gf or her. Something is off in this story. You called him your ex but you have a newborn child with him, yet he has been with this girl a year. I’m confused cause that changes the whole dynamic.
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A year is enough time fo him to see if she’s capable of looking after a baby. Trust his judgment and be happy they are helping. He’s a parent as well so he also makes the decisions. If something happens or you really don’t like it, ask for a custody agreement with family court stating you dont want her unsupervised with the baby.
You say newborn…but they’ve been together a year?
Anyway, unless she does something to make you mistrust her, I don’t think you can stop her. Even a court would say you get no choice on what happens during dad’s time
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The math account mathin here. He’s been with her a year but you 2 have a newborn? Either way don’t leave your child with anyone you don’t know 
maybe it’s time you get introduced
I would meet with her several times. If she doesn’t have children maybe help her to learn how to care for your child. If she has children then meet her several times with the children to get an idea of her parenting style. Honestly it takes alot to co-parent. It’s perfectly okay for you to meet with her and your Ex to open communication!
I Mt be ok with it if I new her don’t understand why you never met her if they have been together ayear
He should be asking for a DNA test
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Meet the woman. This sounds like she will not be the first or last of this baby daddy drama. Never let someone keep your child that you do not know. If something happens it’s on you. Do not let anybody talk you out of this! Your child comes first. 
That’s not a ‘new girl’ if they’ve been together but it would highly depend on a few things. Does he actually care about the baby, so wouldn’t allow just anyone around them?
A year is a good amount of time for someone to get to properly know someone, so I’m surprised you don’t know his girlfriend if ya’ll share a kid together.
I didnt think of it the first time - How do you have a newborn with the guy if they’ve been together a year?
So it sounds like your the other woman (not judging, maybe you didn’t know). Pregnancy is less then a year and so they’ve been together before you got pregnant. So no I wouldn’t trust her. Bitter gfs have done atrocious things to the step kids esp if he cheated and got you pregnant. That being said he still has a right to his parenting time esp if he wants his child and making an effort to be there for them(which not enough men do). So reach out to her, esp if you didn’t know about her when you got pregnant. Ask to meet her. Explain your concerns, and tell her you want to be comfortable with her being around your child but because you don’t know or her feelings toward you and esp the baby it makes you nervous to just leave her in charge of the baby. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to be concerned and want to know who your leaving your baby with. Step parents have done bad things but that doesn’t mean it’ll always be the case, there’s plenty of step parents who are wonderful and love the kids just like their own. And who knows maybe you and her will get along great and become friends. But also how much trust do you have for the father. Does he seem like he’s level headed, and picks decent friends and people to surround himself with. Does he strike you the type to not care if his child comes into harm, or is he loving and attentive to the baby. So you trust his judgement.
I don’t think a year is very “new”
Wait if they have been together for a year then how is it that you guys have a newborn? Either way they have been together for a year I think that’s long enough for him to trust her to watch his child. Yes I would be a little nervous considering I haven’t met her, but if you trust the father of your child then there is no reason you need to make a big deal about it. Go meet her. Go over to his house when you know she is going to be there. Call her, or call your baby’s father and tell him that you would like to meet her since she is going to be watching your child. If he is a good parent and respects you as mom then he will understand why you want to meet her.
If they’ve been together a yr and you have a new born (newborns are considered age 0-3 months) the timing is a bit off on who cheated who. But any way. Most newborns don’t have to go with father until six months old.
Before I would allow my ex’s new gf watch my newborn she would have to come and spend some time with me so I could get a feel for what kind of person she is etc , does she have children of her own? Cuz if she doesn’t that could be problematic especially with a newborn and no experience. I think the fact that they’ve been together a year definitely establishes that it’s not a fling relationship, but before I would allow her to be involved in the child’s daily care while at work etc. I would want to meet her , chat a little spend some time with her and the newborn and get a feel for her and who she is as a person until then no you don’t get to watch my newborn especially without supervision, people in today’s world are not right and I’ve heard horror stories of children being neglected etc while under the care of someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend.
Takes 2 people to have a kid. One parent doesn’t have more say then the other. Whatever he does on his time is his business just like you. If it’s your time and you need a babysitter then you should figure it out for yourself.
Sounds like he’s trying to avoid some child care costs, and due to the timing situation, he’s not to be trusted anyway. What’s in it for the GF? Is she really going to have the best interests of the baby at heart? Even if their relationship goes south? I would avoid the situation altogether.
Sorry sweetheart there’s nothing you can do!! Its his kid and you have no no say on what he does on his time!
Am I the only one wondering how he’s had a gf for a year but has a newborn with this pereon
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Co-parenting is extremely difficult if you can’t leave your feelings for the other person out of it. This boils down to the child what is in the best interest of the child. I’m not sure if this is the situation when he has his visitation or if he’s recommending anytime you work that the baby should be with the girlfriend that would be a different story. Honestly in my opinion unless he’s some experienced father of the year most men can’t handle a newborn. Of course it would all depend on her experience age and familiarity with newborns but I would feel more comfortable with her than a man. Is extremely hard to put your feelings aside or your lack of feelings aside for the baby daddy and put your child first but you are a mother first there should be no question doubt or insecurities in your mind. I would make a list of pros and cons do a little research on the cost of daycare. Review and summarize your research and go from there. I definitely would want her to spend some time around you and your newborn though so that you both feel more comfortable.
Am I the only one confused here? Newborn, ex, girlfriend of one year? Timeline overlap. I wouldn’t consider a 3+month old a newborn (infant yes newborn no).
If this newborn is his you have minimal to no say during his allowed time with his child unless custody agreement says otherwise. If they’ve been together for a full year that’s not a short term relationship and he trusts her. If she is offering to keep the child during even your time while you work meet with her and get to know her. Co parenting is always best for the child whenever possible.
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1 year and you never met?? That alone is weird.
Ive been with my man for a little over a year i mean given we are already engaged but since i was already a mother i stepped up very quickly when it came to his little man. And now we have a better co parenting relationship with his ex they used to fight constantly anytime they communicated and now that im in the middle and can communicate for both when they disagree its so worth it. If you meet her im sure you will feel better about it. The more the merrier
If you had a boyfriend and let him look after the child, the dad would have no say whatsoever unless he could prove something so it’s gotta be the same for you, as hard as it is
You say they have been together a year? Then there is no way you have a newborn. The baby has to be older. If you haven’t met her yet, then why don’t you have a sit down with your ex and his girlfriend and met her. Seems as though she is going to be in your infants life.
They’ve been together a year and you have a newborn with him? Girl, that’s longer than your damn pregnancy
Sounds like ur bitter …if shes gna b apart of his life n has been for a year its something ur gna have to deal w ! Learn how to co parent itl make it so much easier
Wait… your ex has been with her for a yr. And you have a newborn . I’m excellent at math and those numbers don’t add up.
But anywho. Hopefully she’ll love your child like her own. And all 3 can co parent amazing.
I’m no help for advice on how. My husband is the dad of all 4 of mine. So I’ve never been in this passion. And I believe if you’re never experienced it. Don’t give advice on it just support. So I hope everything works out for ya momma.
I will probably get 
for this. But I don’t understand why people have all these babies daddies. I get it some relationships don’t work or last. But for the most part. Women need to really consider who they have kids with. 
I’ve seen so many " baby daddy issue" posts lately 
I’m just sorry for the poor kids involved.
Anyway why do you have a newborn with a man thats been in a relationship for a year
Meet his new girlfriend and if your ex is a good person and a good dad to that baby then take the help girl!!! It takes a village and some don’t have that, if you do than appreciate and use the support. I co parent for my ten year old. And it can be hard, but when you need that extra help and it’s there it is fantastic to have, put the personal relationship issues aside, build a genuine relationship with this girl, so you know you can trust her, you know your baby is in safe hands, because who knows she could end up being in that babies life for a long time. Take it day by day 
Yup, unfortunately you don’t get a say who he brings the baby around.