There’s opportunities to learn here on all sides. I’m a generous tipper, but I’m also not a teen on a date with social anxiety issues. I think it’s more egregious for her to confront a youngster, than it was that he didn’t tip. Besides, it’s taboo to tip in other countries and the service industry standards need to change, but to call out and humiliate a teen is just so upsetting and uncalled for.
Tips should not be expected. They certainly aren’t required. Tips are based on workload, manners and skill IMO. If her job isn’t enough that she gets so bent over a tip, she should work elsewhere. Jobs are pretty easy to find right now.
Everyone seems to be short on funds right now, but people should not feel like they have to stay home and eat if they can not tip.
Imo…she needs let go. Her actions were VERY unprofessional. I would not want that representing my business. 
I wouldn’t have tipped honestly. If you don’t make enough that’s not my problem you chose the job. Talk to your employer.
you know i cannot beleive that when you pay your bill they ask if you want to put the tip on i waitress for years and we were always tipped on the service we gave i fht owners were to pay decent wages this would not be we are actually paying their wages
I live in the UK and half the time we don’t tip and it’s not expected either. If you pay cash sometimes we might leave a few quid, but if we pay card, 99% of the time we don’t leave tips 
. If I was a waitress, I wouldn’t dream of chasing after someone, it’s so unprofessional
1 Like
That is absolutely not normal at all!! I would call the restaurant and ask to speak to the manager about the incident! Hopefully he remembers her name, or still has the receipt which will also have her name. I am a server myself, and as much as it sucks to not get a tip, you cannot EVER do that!
Very unprofessional from the staff. Everyone is struggling especially since covid. I’d defo wouldn’t take my custom there every again. How embarrassing for your son to be put on the spot, and his gf there too. That place needs to speak to staff and tell them this is not on by no means at all
I’m sorry he had to go through that. She wasn’t right in doing that. I forgot to leave a tip one time. I had a fasting blood work that ended up taking more time. I was really hungry. By the time I ate an had another appointment to go to. I felt really bad because the waitress was really good. My son was going that way I asked him to drop it off. People forget, her boss should have been informed
I’ve worked in the restaurant industry since I was 15, I am now 30 and I would NEVER !!! She was unprofessional. While not being tipped is frustrating! Especially here in Alabama where waitress pay is 2.13/hr. It’s the name of the game. There’s been times when a table had run me to death and I have given them A1 service and they have not tipped and I wanted to say something but its just not worth it. You just let it roll off your shoulders and go about your day. She should have never confronted him. If that happened to my son I’d be upset !
Any halfway decent restaurant would fire the server. That said I bet he won’t forget again.
1 Like
Waitress here, not normal at all. Regardless of why, I can’t imagine confronting a customer over a tip.
Hell most of us have regulars that don’t tip. There isn’t a restaurant I’ve worked at that wouldn’t fire you for this.
Sorry but you should not have to tip if you choose not to. I was a single mom for many years. I could not afford much but I did try and take my child out once in a while to feel some what normal. And used to be in food service. I will not dictate how much or if any someone should tip. People shouldn’t act so entitled. I appreciated being tipped and lived off of tips but don’t force someone when they may not be able to afford much.
1 Like
My son worked as a manager at a restaurant. He always told me to tip. But as a young man in school, he never knew how important it was to tip. The young lady was out of line. Tell him not to beat himself up. He sounds like a wonderful young man.
My son and his friends took their homecoming dates to a local restaurant. ONE of the guys realized his wallet was in the car and went back to get it while the rest stayed seated. The waitress demanded to know where he went and told the rest of the group that no one was allowed to leave until he returned . He came back with his wallet, they all paid , and left . I was livid that they were treated this way.
It has always been my understanding that tipping is optional. In this case the son actually forgot. The waitress can read people and can see the young man has issues and singled him out. I dare say she wouldn’t do this to other people if they forgot. She does not need to work in this field.
The 2 questions.
-
No it’s not ok behavior. (waitress confronting him).
-
Yes you are being an OVERPROTECTIVE mama.
3 Bonus. It’s a normal response when our child is impacted negatively to be outraged in their behalf.
However…
Save your energy for teaching him how to handle life’s ups and downs.
She shouldnt have reacted /acted the way that she did. But he gets to choose how he responds (as do you).
Wishing nothing but the best for him as he starts his college career.
Be blessed.
How do you approach someone who didn’t tip? That takes balls. What if she gave lousy service and he meant to stiff her! Then what would she do? Wow I’m just amazed at some people assumptions
1 Like
As a service worker, you NEVER ask for a tip. If the service sucks, I still leave a small tip, but if the service was beyond excellent I always tip well. I know what it like to live on tips. And I’ve had many regular customers who never tipped that always came back time after time. That waitress should have been fired for that. Unfortunately your son had to learn just how disrespectful some people can be the hard way.
You know… I find it interesting that the US is the only place where tipping is a ‘requirement’. If you go to Japan for instance. Its considered an insult to tip. I’d tell her to ask for a raise or get a different job if their employer isn’t paying them enough.
He shouldn’t have went back to tip her… fuck her skonka attitude she should get a different job then…
Tips should be something you give the server in appreciation of good service. This should not be mandatory!!! The restaurant owners need to pay their workers a decent wage and quit depending on their customers to make up the difference!!! How would they feel if when they went to buy groceries at store they were asked to tip!!!
When I waited tables sometimes I didn’t get tipped. I kinda had some anger towards them but held it in and moved on to the next table. I would never go after someone. That’s just weird.
I’ve done it several times when I was a young waitress. The line is on the slip, you kinda can’t forget in my opinion. Maybe take a break from eating out for a while. Servers survive on tips.
1 Like
Maybe the manager needs to be asked this question.
1 Like
Speaking as someone who is currently and has been in the hospitality industry for 25 years her behavior was unacceptable under ANY circumstances…I don’t care if we’re at the end of our ropes with everything thats been going on in our industry, it doesn’t excuse poor manners or etiquette…it is never ok to approach a guest about not leaving a tip and most places do severely discipline for such behavior…it’s unprofessional and quite frankly rude…as a mother and bartender myself, I would most definitely speak to management about said incident…this can’t be the first time she’s done this and left unchecked I can assure you it won’t be the last…maybe you couldn’t save your son the embarrassment in that moment but perhaps bringing light to the situation will save someone else’s child from it…I’m so sorry this happened to your son…what type of person chooses to humiliate someone else? It’s disgusting behavior…and for those of you commenting about servers make minimum wage and blah blah I assure you everything always evens out…and for those of you going on about how he should have tipped, she literally said HE FORGOT and went on to say he went back in, even after being humiliated, and fixed it which is more than most would have done considering the circumstances…and lastly for those of you saying he’s 18 and to stop protecting him, let me say this, your child is always your child and any parent worth anything will always feel the need to protect their children no matter their age
1 Like
Bring him back to the resturaunt, ask to speak to the general manager or owner, tell them what happened. I’ve worked in plenty of jobs like hers and you’re not allowed to demand a tip.
1 Like
A tip is not mandatory or required but demanding one is not the proper approach to getting one. I leave a tip but when the service is poor it is less than usual or none at all.
I think when confronting the customer about not tipping it’s best to ask if there was something wrong with the service or something they could change because they noticed there wasn’t a tip.
1 Like
Woooow. If i had that happen to me I would’ve just explained how i truly did forget but with how she came up so rudely and unprofessionally she is definitely not getting a tip now. On purpose. And I would’ve said something to the manager because her doing that looks bad on the company .
I can’t even believe the people defending the server! I WISH a server would approach me and demand a tip! I tip based on service, never on my check. I worked in the restaurant industry for many years and I’d never dream of demanding a tip! A TIP! ESPECIALLY from a teenager! Does it suck to get ran out on?! Sure does. But in no circumstance does that give anyone the right to be compensated beyond their charge for said service. 
A good waitperson would Never demand a tip. I managed a wait staff in my time and if I was her manager she would not have been given the tip . I wonder how many times she has done that, once is too many.
I’m a server and never in a million years would I confront him about it. It happens.
I would call the restaurant and complain. She could’ve complained to her coworkers. If I was her boss I would be embarrassed and write her up.
If a server came after me like that, I’d go back in and tip a different server “here’s a tip for not being a jackass”
just to fuck with her.
1 Like
Servers are not supposed to ask for tips, or comment when they aren’t tipped. That was really unprofessional on her end.
I would call the restaurant and inform the waitress that the customer doesn’t hav to tip and explain that your son only makes mimum wage himself,thats was really rude of her
The waitress was way outta line confronting your son. I hope the restaurant fires her. A tip is NOT guaranteed no matter how big or small the bill is or how many people are in the party. Yes waiters and waitresses depend on their tips but it’s not a guaranteed income. I would make a formal complaint to the management to ensure this never happens again!! I worked in the service industry for over 28 years and would never have done such a disgraceful thing.
A tip is just that a tip. No one has to leave a tip. I worked as a waitress for many years and a tip was always somewhat unexpected in those days. It often was a quarter if anything. I realize waitresses do not make high wages and they depend on their tips but nevertheless no one has to tip. Having said that and having worked as a waitress I always tip. Only one time I had such poor service I didn’t tip. And I believe that’s when you don’t tip is it the service is horrible.
I feel it’s completely out of place and unacceptable to approach someone about not tipping if they chose not to tip they chose not to tip. Tipping is optional guests understand most servers only make minimum wage but so do people who work full-time jobs that is not serving and don’t get tips they still only make minimum wage and aren’t harassing people for tips minimum wage is average nowadays for a lot of places especially after covid. That woman was totally out of line to approach a young boy even if he’s 18 he is still young he’s a teenager you do not approach him and ask him to give you more money. Like I said tipping is optional you do not have to do it. It has become a social Norm because restaurants refuse to pay their waitresses enough money that is not the consumer’s fault that is the restaurant fault and the waitresses fault for accepting jobs dependent on tips knowing not everyone can afford to tip or will tip or will tip what they want or what they feel is deserved. I only tip with good service but I do at least leave a $1 tip even with horrible service that’s like a okay well here’s at least something but your service sucked we waited 45 minutes for our food and they got it wrong type of situation or they were just really bitching or snobby or short or didn’t pay attention to us
1 Like
okay so the deal is. What she did was very unprofessional and rude. If someone does not tip, you are not supposed to go around calling people out for it? I understand it is hard work but you never know what is going on behind closed doors. What if he had been saving for a few weeks so that he could take his girlfriend out on a nice date and had barely enough to cover the bill? or maybe the service he had received wasn’t to standards? there are so many reasons as to why someone didn’t tip. even as simple as not wanting to. and that’s acceptable whether anyone wants to admit it or not. I always tip when i can, but some days i don’t have as much money as I would like to have, so i will tip when/what i can. it is not mandatory, so no you are not being “overprotective mamabear” …
As a waitress I understand the feeling of not being tipped. But it’s SUPER unprofessional to confront someone over tipping or not tipping
tipping is not actually not universal lol 
tipping is weird and waitresses should be paid a living wage and your tipping shouldn’t make someone’s income by itself. It’s supposed to be a gift for good service. I’m a millennial, I’ve been a waitress, and I tip when I go out because I can afford to. But I will definitely not tip if someone is rude. Restaurants are struggling to find help because this is a fight with no winners and bottom line I’d happily pay more for my food if it meant my servers were paid properly for their job.
1 Like
I tip if service is good n not no tip I didn’t tell anybody to be a waitress it was there choice better the service better the tip I use to everyone until I started getting shitty service
1 Like
Not normal. Not good for the restaurant, that should undoubtedly pay their wait staff more. Maybe the mother should have reminded him to tip.
In what world does the waitress confront a non tipper??? I’ve been a waitress in several places and people not tipping happens. You don’t confront them and make them feel bad like wtf??
Unprofessional and rude ive worked as a waitress before and would never do that. I just ducked it up and tried harder for my other tables
I get where the waitress is coming from but while it may not be nice to not tip (depending on the service) it’s rude and unprofessional to confront your customers about tips.
1 Like
Honestly, as a former waitress. If she’s already making minimum wage idk why the fuss. I only made $4.95 and I know some only make $2.35. That’s extremely rude to follow someone out. I have a friend from Japan who isn’t use to tipping and still forgets sometimes. It happens. You have to learn to just brush it off. It’s gonna happen to you regardless when waitressing. Just take it with a grain of salt and move on. Sorry your son was made to feel like an ass for an accident.
I would call. Her behavior was completely inappropriate and shows bad customer service which generally equals no tip.
She should get fired !!! That is not even close to normal !
the waitress was wrong, if tips were mandatory it would be part of the bill. Tips should be because the person is doing their job at the least. The better the service the better the tip. I also know people that don’t ever go “out” to eat because they can’t afford to and would not understand to add 20% to their budget, for that reason I think shaming people should never happen.
1 Like
She shouldn’t have done that. Someone else mentioned serving young people and I remember back when I was really young one time we didn’t tip, and the waiter chased us out for the restaurant freaking out. Looking back I wish I had tipped appropriately, I think I was a teenager. Young people are just kind of stupid about such things I think
When I was waitresses, we were always instructed to never chase after a customer for a tip. There will be some customers who overtime, some who undertip. Some who forget. Just suck it up. On the plus side, Sonny won’t do that again.
As a server of 17 years I have and would never ask for a tip or why I wasn’t tip but it sucks on the rare occasion it happens.Servers don’t make minimum wage though, they make tip wage which is less than minimum wage which she probably said that as he may have heard her wrong with the rain but if he paid with card each line, tip/total/ and signature need to be filled out. Owners and managers are strict with that because someone could fill in a fake tip and or total so the tip line should say $0 or a line through it if leaving cash etc. Help him out and teach him….explain proper dining etiquette to him, tipping in cash even when paying with a card is best so the server doesn’t have to wait for it for a week or more….servers are truly struggling right now and making no where near what they used to in tips
Not normal but waitresses make $2.15-$4.15 an hour. Not minimum wage. I waitress sometimes for extra money. I have waitresses almost every restaurant in IL and KY.
I’m a delivery driver and never question why a customer didn’t tip maybe they only had enough for the dinner like really that’s wrong
Not normal behavior for waitress but then again you shouldn’t eat out if you can’t afford to tip
I am sorry she embarrassed your grown son so she could put food on the table for her children.
I hate the tipping system. Even when you get fantastic service, you have usually over paid for restsurant food. I think put the price on the item and pay the service people. We are now paying tips in some pretty rediculous circumstances. And even a 5 or 10 tip doesnt fairly compensate for over the top service for an inexpensive meal. AND if you are subject to an aggressive wait perskn, who knows what she or he thinks is right? Poor system, letting the cafe owner off the hook.
I had a massage and the lady asked if I was tipping her. Felt totally awkward and I don’t think ppl should ask for a tip. 
That waitress shouldn’t have done that. That was very unprofessional.
She knew exactly what she was doing, and she definitely wouldn’t have done that to an adult. However, how can you be 18 and not know basic etiquette… the anxiety part to me just says he went over this night in his head a thousand times beforehand so
you should tell the general manager or even the manager… She will be fired. Tips are optional
Is it professional? No. But also how can you say you forgot when there’s a line for it on the credit card receipt?
A professional server would never do that. Never.
3 Likes
I would report that waitress. That is very unprofessional
2 Likes
Wow that is shocking a tip should be if you want to leave 1 it’s not an actual requirement 
I’d have told her where to go
1 Like
I would go talk to the manager. That’s completely unprofessional.
1 Like
Wow I’m from Canada so maybe it’s different but a tip is appropriate to give , but if service is bad you don’t have to. And to confront a customer that’s kind of rude, maybe I’m mama bear but I’d call and complain about her attitude.
7 Likes
This is unprofessional and rude. I’d speak to her manager.
1 Like
That behavior is never acceptable.
1 Like
No it’s not. Please contact the manager, even the owner
1 Like
Definitely go report the employee.
I would call her out to her boss. That’s unprofessional
Omg i would never imagine doing that. That poor kid.
1 Like
Nope, call and complain. It’s extremely unprofessional.
A tip is earned. It’s free money. I don’t have to just give you my money. 
I never got tips on my job
Not cool…she had no right to call him out!!
I’d speak to her manager.
As a mom, I’d go visit that restaurant and go full out Karen on her and the establishment.
If I’d been your son’s date I would have tipped her, right upside her head. Just kidding kinda. But yea that’s BS.
Absolutely outta line! The server was completely overstepping.
The Waitresses wrong she’s begging for money that’s wrong
I feel like throwing in that he makes minimum wage “as well” is just kinda a dumb thing to add… like that’s an excuse to not tip. Especially when server wage is usually less than half of what minimum wage is for any non-tipped employee. So what he makes is irrelevant…
Also, none of us really know what happened. Maybe she just asked him to finish filling out his credit card slip? How you phrase things carries a lot of weight. Obviously if she just walked up to him and demanded a tip, that’s incredibly unprofessional and horribly entitled. But no one knows how that conversation went. Also, anxiety is no excuse to not tip either… so a bunch of weird irrelevant facts.
4 Likes
Oh big NOPE. mom mode would be activated hard-core.
Report her. I was a waitress and never did that
1 Like
Agreed… I would be in my car driving there and make it right!!! Wether it was my kid or not… had I seen a wait staff act that way to anyone… poof out the door…
1 Like
Very uncalled for and I would be hard pressed not to go up there and hand her ass to her! People forget, especially young folks with disorders. Bless him. He is human! I get where she was coming from, but she was totally out of line. At the very least her manager should be told about her behavior.
1 Like
Theres a labor shortage in every field and hiring wages are super high right now, get out of the tipping industry. Food establishments rip their employees off.
1 Like
I used to be a waitress and I would NEVER…EVER go after a customer like that. Even if I was struggling to pay bills I would never do that. It’s just totally unacceptable
I have been a waitress and I would never confront anyone for not leaving a tip. For one if they didn’t leave a tip it means you didn’t do your job as a waitress and leave an impression that made them feel worthy of leaving you a tip. If someone doesn’t leave a tip it means that you need to try harder next time. You definitely don’t go out and be rude to them. Perhaps that is why you didn’t get the tip to start with.
If employers payed a living wage and stop expecting the customer to make sure the employees are paid what they deserve let tips go where they were ment to be a bonus of appreciation for a good job
I’ve never not left a tip. Sometimes it’s in comparison to the sorry wait staff or excellent wait staff. But don’t expect me to tip 15% if your a lazy waiter/waitress…
Nope not normal . He shouldnt of went back in to tip her. If its good service tip if not dont.
If people don’t want to get vaccinated, then they shouldn’t run to the hospital for treatment if they get sick! Less Repunkins to vote in the next elections!!
Been a bartender for years and served since I was a teen…I would never chase after customers and mention a tip…never ever. Sometimes it happens and it balances out in the end. However I feel her frustration.
That’s really wrong and extremely unprofessional
I’d go to the restaurant and speak to the manager if i were u
I’ve worked many years in the service industry. Yes it may suck at times, but she CHOSE that job. If she wants more pay, she has to work her way up like everyone else. Or tell her to get a new job. She’s not entitled to a tip. She cannot dictate what he chooses to do with his money. Especially after confronting him. The audacity of some people…
No, super unprofessional. Especially to someone who paid in full for the food. Rather he forgot or not it’s rude. Not ok. If he left the space empty and filled in the amount on the bottom then she should say nothing is she kindly said hey you forgot to fill out your total amount that’s different .
They actually make less than minimum wage. A lot of servers get $0 paychecks because it all went to taxes, (they get taxed on the credit card tips that are cashed out at the end of the night).
It’s not right to not tip in any place you’re getting a service: food, barber/hair and nail salon, your carpet and home cleaners, car washers, concierge, valet, tattoo artist/piercer, etc.
I know the USA is one of the only places like this and it sucks but your check is to pay for what you got, the tip is to pay for what the person providing you the service did. Not everyone understands this for some reason.
With all that said, it was definitely wrong for her to confront him, as you make it sound like he honestly forgot. I’ve been known to be snarky to people who’ve stiffed me and were also dickheads. But generally it’s not acceptable to outright ask for a tip or confront the customer.
But this is why I think everyone should spend a little while in a job that relies on tips, you’d appreciate them and their services more.
Until Americans are willing to pay more for their restaurant experience and food so they can pay their servers a more liveable wage, tipping is standard, whether it was with a super bubbly attitude or not.