AITA for forgetting to invite my husbands family to my gender reveal?

AITA? I planned a last minute gender reveal, got the tests Monday and had my mom put something together for Sunday. I told my husband to tell his family which would be his brother aunt and cousin in driving distance and forgot. Well me and his cousin have been friends long before I got married and his aunt is upset at me for not personally inviting them saying aren’t I supposed to be her friend?. I messaged them both apologizing neither even bothered to open the message. The only people at the gender reveal were my mom and two of my friends it wasn’t anything big at all and planned in less than a week I could understand feeling left out but to this point? I’m not sure what to do as I said sent two long messages to his aunt and cousin and now since they made him feel bad he’s saying I don’t care about his family.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. AITA for forgetting to invite my husbands family to my gender reveal?

You told your husband to tell his family so no you’re not. It isn’t all down to you.

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Ummmm how you forgot baby daddy family :grimacing::grimacing:

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Yep you’re the A-hole

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Never rely on a man to invite or rsvp to things etc. I can’t stand when my husband’s family texts my husband about partied and now me bc then I don’t find out about them because he forgets to mention it. Sorry but unless you have a husband who is not like the standard traditional gender roles and does 50% of everything etc etc etc don’t rely on him to help invite to parties etc.

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So you told your husband to tell his family and HE forgot? You’re being blamed because HE forgot?

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So you “don’t care” about his family because HE forgot to invite them after you told him to… Um no he don’t care about his family if that’s the case.

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This whole generation is a mess. You don’t apologize through a text. It’s so impersonal. If they are in driving distance drive your a** over there and apologize in person.

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How is it her fault for not telling ? When she told him to share the news? Why does all the weight always gotta be on us mom’s fok. Leave her be.

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Not even in the slightest bit.

Uhh you told your man to tell HIS family. That’s not on you and you’re not an A hole. Stfu^^

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Your husband is the a*shole for not inviting his own family :rofl::rofl:

Nope you told him to handle his side and he didn’t so they need to redirect all of that to him

NTA, you asked him to message because you’re busy planning everything else. Did he help with anything else?

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You told your hubby and seems like he understood he was supposed to upon the time it was originally brought up - so no, not your fault at all. Not like you knew he forgot to invite them. As far as how his family wants to handle it let them do whatever - by that I mean if they want to be upset then so be it, you already went out of your way to explain what happened - if they choose to stay petty and upset for it by all means it is not your fault as you already tried to communicate properly - if things fall off it’s because of how they chose to handle it as well

Did it not ever cross your mind to double check with him that he asked his family? Or to check with them?

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You told him and he didn’t tell his family it is on him. Like you don’t already have enough going on.
BTW- are you having a boy or girl?

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Too sensitive they are

You didn’t forget. Your husband forgot. Why aren’t they mad at him? Isn’t he her cousin?

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Not your fault your husband forgot after you told him. The responsibility was on him at that point :woman_shrugging:

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No no… that’s on him !!! He should call them n apologize to them & then apologize to you for his mistake and upsetting you :sunflower:

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If anyone doesn’t care about his family it would be your husband bc he was the one suppose to invite them lol

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Call them. Talk. No one is the ass hole. It’s life.

You didn’t forget you asked your husband to do that and he didn’t. That’s his fault not yours

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I mean you told him to tell his family so :woman_shrugging:

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You told him to invite his family. It’s his baby too, and his party too, all you asked him to do to help plan the party was to invite his family, no you’re not the asshole

Nah that wouldn’t fly. Tell them to act like adults. Your husband made a mistake, it happens. There’s absolutely no reason to act like children

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I mean you didn’t forget your husband did but if you’ve been married for any length of time you know better and should have absolutely checked with them but he told them :rofl:

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You didn’t forget, your husband did. You already have enough to worry about.

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It’s just a gender reveal. Why are they so worked up over it? If you know he forgets, perhaps you should have sent a group chat just letting everyone know? But at this point just tell your husband that you told HIM to tell them. It’s his fault.

As for the others, if they wanna be mad (and haven’t just been busy to not be able to read it) then let them. It’s silly to get worked up over missing a gender reveal.

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That’s on him not you

You didn’t forget to invite them you told your husband to. Don’t take on his failures

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Ah I so happy I had kids during the good ol’ days where I just found out what I was having with my husband and no one got butt hurt because they weren’t informed right away.

People get mad over some of the most ridiculous things. Life is tooo darn short for all of it. You sent your apologies if they chose to stay mad well then, bye.

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Your husband clearly forgot. If you told him to let them know and to invite them then it was his job. Us moms can’t handle all the load of everything even if its something small. We already take on everything.

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You did more than enuf by simply apologizing. You didn’t owe them an apology

I personally know I can’t trust my husband to handle invites unless I stay on top of him, which is why I do the inviting to such things. However, I know this about my husband and have learned the hard way. Lol this isn’t on you, it’s on him. You have a lot on your mind and like you said, it was a small get together thrown last minute.

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Not good you are very selfish it’s your husbands family they should have been invited!! Wow no wonder you only had two people there sounds like no one likes you, I feel sorry for your baby !!

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You and your hubby are the assholes. They obviously would have loved to be apart of it, even if it was last minute and both of you should have thought about them… at the very least you should have invited the grandma or did a little something with them too.

I know hiw they feel. I discovered my grandsons baby was born on face book. Yes i felt left out and hurt. Yes you should have invited them. Theyre hurt that they were left out and i sympathise with that.

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Well your Husband has to blame somebody :woman_facepalming::woman_shrugging:. And needs to own it and apologize to his family like an Adult instead of blaming you. Shame on him. He needs to GROW UP.

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Your husband needs to reach out to them & explain that you told him to tell them & he forgot. This one should be on him. Even if it’s not entirely, you’re pregnant. He’s gotta take one for the team as they say.

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Why are they blaming you when he was the one responsible for inviting his relatives? They are looking for drama. He should be apologising, not you. You’re pregnant and don’t need that added stress and negativity.

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His fault not yours tell them that

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In my opinion, you both are the AH. He didn’t tell them, you didn’t follow up. He’s a man, simple things get lost in their heads.

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Well, I would say both of yall are at fault. Him for not doing it in the first place and forgetting so he’s the main one at fault. You for not following up and double checking and asking them also. Doesn’t hurt for both of yall to ask. Especially since you’re carrying the baby and you’re the one who did a last minute quick in less than a week gender reveal. Never rely on a man to do invites because some men just aren’t good at that stuff. They may be hurt and I can understand why but also apologizing through text isn’t the thing to do. Both of yall should have done it in person Especially since you said they are in driving distance. Shoot for my gender reveal I sent out invites almost 2 months in advance. Followed up on rsvps when the time for deadline of rsvp’ing came up.

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Call them…nlet them know it was his responsibility

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I personally take on that responsibility myself…because I know mine would forget… I also send them a reminder for conformation. That way you avoid apologizing for anything. Most men are not interested in helping plan a party unless there is Beer,BBQ or Sports involved

I could see the slight of feelings by the aunt and whomever lives close - things of importance women tell BOTH sides of the family did you tell your husband to send out wedding invitations or tell his family about y’all’s wedding? Come on now!!! They’ll get over it trust but y’all’s relationship might be rocky. But please keep the same energy “if” they just so happen to give word to your husband about an event and he forgets or just all together they don’t tell you :woman_shrugging:t5:

Typical…can’t remember to communicate to his family. That’s 100% his fault on that…but u could have sent them a quick message also. At this point repair if u can…life is way too short to stress about little stuff. Personally, I have never understood gender reveals anyway :woman_shrugging::laughing:

You should have invited them. Would have taken just a few minutes. Does make you look like the ah.

The husband should be the peacemaker since it was his fuck up. They don’t wanna be involved in planning shit. Everyone thinks it’s the vagina Owner’s job to do that, apparently. Also, gender reveals are a little antiquated IMO

Personally…yea your an a hole. But you are preggo and that comes with brain fog. Just apologize and if they try to keep a grudge point out that they will miss alot more important milestones. Could be they fear being forgotten or left out.

U should’ve touched base with your husband to make sure everything was in place since YOU &your mom were planning this rush gender reveal. I would be hurt too.

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I know you told your husband, and most of them forget, thankfully my husband talks to his parents often so I know he will tell them, but rest of his family I would at least send a text message or create an invite on Facebook. Whether they come or not from either side of the family is then on them and if they want to come and you did your part. Doesn’t take but a few minutes to let people know.

So you’re long time friends w/ his cousin and you didn’t reach out? I could totally see why their feelings were hurt. It’s now convenient that it’s “his family.” You can go somewhere else with that.

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I say for the future don’t leave invites up to your husband. I never expect the man to be in charge of those things. I would have personally invited, but at this point you cannot change it.

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What does AItA mean? People need to spell the words out for old people like me🤷‍♀️

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You told your husband to invite them. Apparently he didn’t. How is this your fault? He dropped the ball and is blaming it on you.

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Why does the burden always seem to fall on the woman/ wife to do the invitations. It should be an equal effort and the husband needs to take responsibility for forgetting to invite his family. It’s easy to take the blame from the ‘forgetful’ husband, but heaven forbid the wife be forgetful.

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I’d say you jumped the gun and now ppl feel left out. Why was it rushed? You can’t fault ppl for wanting to be a part of something important to you when you didn’t take an extra moment to make sure they were included. Sorry but I’m a big reader of actions and if I wasn’t invited to that then I wouldn’t think I was that important. Just my two cents.

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That’s on him. It’s his family he could of invited to his child’s reveal. It’s crazy how folks think women are suppose to really do it alllllll. He can’t even communicate with his own family about his kid? No accountability from some of these other post.

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You are not the a-hole. You asked your husband to reach out to his own family for his kids gender reveal. He’s the one who forgot. You tried to apologize and clear up any misunderstanding, and they cold shouldered you. Forget them. They’re the a-holes making your pregnancy about them.

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Wtf, why did this just say that you told him to handle his family and then he didn’t and now it’s your fault? Because that skips a party who actually fudged up. My brother got the envelope, went home, called 3 people and those 3 called 8 and those 8 called 15 and so on and we had a 25 person gender reveal put together in 2 hours lol. It does take team work but that’s definitely not on the person who is delegating and growing a human, it does suck they weren’t invited and I would be a little sour but this definitely isn’t your fault not shouldn’t be blown up.

You forgot to tell your husband to invite his family or you told him and he forgot? Because that would determine who the AH really is. Either way, if you’re on good terms with his family, it would have taken an additional, what, 5 minutes maybe, to notify his three relatives while you were notifying your side.

On a side note, if you told him and he forgot, he nor his family have the right to make you feel like shit. If you meant to tell him to tell them and you forgot to tell him, then he and his family have a right to be upset. But again, if you told him to invite his family and he forgot to do it, that’s on him not you and he needs to take ownership of his mistake instead of blaming you.

Dont worry about it. Enjoy your baby.

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No you’re not. He is. All those saying she should’ve done it. She’s the AH and at fault :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: no she’s not! Why couldn’t HE just call HIS folks the moment she asked HIM to speak to HIS family??!! After everything she’s probably sorted so far and will continue to do so, why can’t he help? Why couldn’t he take the initiative and say to her he will sort his family? Why is everything left to the women and the men get away with doing fuck all and if anything is missed, she’s the one shunned and made to feel guilty! She’s not on her own. She has a husband. If he was there to create the child, he can be there to help celebrate it

If you’re friends with these people then why didn’t you ask them? Granted your hubby is to blame if he forgot to tell them but I don’t see why you couldn’t just ask yourself if you were only inviting a few people

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You’ve been friends with his cousin long before you got married and didn’t mention anything to her? That’s really odd.

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I remember being given shit for not “inviting” some family to my moms funeral
How ppl react to feeling “slighted” is all you need to know about them, if they want to bitch but dont want to hear the explanation than f#ck them

Did you ask your husband if his family was coming? I need to make sure I have enough food for everyone. I would have asked if they were coming. I think you didn’t care if they came or not. I feel like you’re looking for validation from strangers but you already know your answer.

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Stuff happens I forgot to invite my grandfather and step grandmother to everything like that now I feel like trash haha

So you found out Monday and then had almost an entire week to send a 2 second text? I mean just be honest and admit you didn’t want them there lol. So much for them being your “long time friends”

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I think this all could have been avoided having more then a day to throw something together. Why did it need to be the next day to reveal after finding out pregnancy status. And woman are usually the ones who handle the invites. IDK this seems like maybe this person wanted to start drama …

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They are mad now, understandably.You apologized.In my opinion, that’s all you can do.They’ll come around once the baby is born.(Note: why do we automatically assume that men will forget and the women have to be wonderwoman…:roll_eyes:)

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Yes you messed up. Should invite both sides

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It is not your fault that he didn’t do what you asked him to do :woman_shrugging: why is it solely your responsibility to handle all the invites? Why can’t he handle some of the responsibilities?

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If you told him to tell them and he failed to do so, that’s sort of on him. But you should have made sure by reaching out before the event… Monday to Sunday is not exactly last minute.

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You asked your husband to tell them, he should have. This wasn’t a long planned event, your husband is part of this party and the one thing you asked him to do, he didn’t. They were so quick to blame you, your husband needs to set them straight.

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My hubby is busy he works… I was the one who made sure his family was included, because I love them and want them involved as much as my family. You did apologize and explain so they should be more understanding. Seems like an issue on both sides to me. Focus on your pregnancy, his family will adore that baby and you can hopefully work it out after pregnancy.

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Perhaps he doesn’t care about his family… Didn’t you give him the task of inviting them?? That’s his fault. They can all chill…

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If you asked him to do it, he agreed to do it and he failed to do so, then that falls on his inability to uphold his commitments. Being pregnant is hard enough, and it shouldn’t all fall on your shoulders, that’s not how teamwork works.

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So you had your mom put something together, but you couldn’t mention it to his family? And before anyone says “well she asked him to” :roll_eyes: know darn well men forget. You still have should invited them yourself.

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Yeah… that is an asshole move, or lack thereof.

HE should have been the one to invite them. Sounds like he’s self reflecting. Who cares what they think. Don’t stress yourself out over it :people_hugging:

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Trying calling them. It might be more sincere to them if they hear it.

It was your husband’s responsibility. They can grow up.

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EAH.
Your husband: yes, you told him to invite them, and realistically some of the fault does fall on him for forgetting. He also blew the situation out of proportion without taking the time to realize there was enough “blame” to go around.

You: you planned a spur of the moment gender reveal with less than a week’s notice. You couldn’t send a quick message to your friend when you sent them to others? Why? Or made an event on Facebook where you could have invited everyone you wanted at once? Why was it important to push those few invites to your husband who wasn’t included in part of the planning process?
Cousin and aunt: Made a big deal without listening to the entire story and weren’t bothered to read the messages you sent apologizing.

The truth is in the situation everyone has something they could have or maybe even should have done differently. There truly is plenty of blame to go around here.

Some of y’all need to treat your men like the grown ass people they are. Women cannot handle everything.

You didn’t “forget” … You chose not to … yes to answer you . You are the a… They are your family too… And yes they have a right to be upset about not being included… It isn’t like you don’t have access to contact them just like you contacted your friends and your family…

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You asked him to call his family and invite them. If he can’t manage a few phone calls, that’s on him. And you need to let his family know that he was the one who dropped the ball. He let you down, too.

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It is his fault also as you did ask him. However I believe the apology should be from both of you and in person. This is not the sort of thing that should be done in a text. Their feelings are hurt and they need to see that you care as it doesn’t feel that way to them right now. You said they are in driving distance anyway. This is the sort of thing that you kind of humble yourself for the sake of the relationship if y’all care for these people. Now after that it is on them as you have done all that you can do.

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No you asked your husband to invite his side. He didn’t they can be mad at him as the person who didn’t invite them. He can stop putting this issue on you… it was his responsibility and he dropped the ball. No one else.

Can’t wait for him to either continue this behavior and be a crappy parent and partner and tell you it’s all your fault that he weaponizes his incompetence.

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When my husband and I had our 3rd child, we didn’t find out gender until birth. We waited a day to announce gender until we could call our family and let them know first. I called my family and he was supposed to call his. He only called his mom. Once I posted gender on FB, I got a message wanting to know why I didn’t call his grandparents. I apologized for him not calling them and had him call them. I can’t control a grown man.

I can understand them feeling hurt, but you apologized and explained. Nothing you can do now.

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I mean if you told your husband to tell his family about the gender reveal, he agreed, and then dropped the ball, I wouldn’t say you’re the a*hole. That was his responsibility and he agreed to be the one to invite them. I would’ve at least said something to your friend even though it is his cousin just because friends do that kind of stuff but I wouldn’t necessarily call you an a**hole for it. I would say yes if he didn’t agree to it or acknowledged it at all. Would it have been hard to invite his family yourself even being last minute? No, but again that’s what he was in charge of. My boyfriend and I typically do similar things if we have a get together or something (other than our daughters birthday party last year where I sent out formal invitations). He’s in charge of inviting his family + his friends and I’m in charge of inviting mine

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You asked him to ask his family and never followed up. When I throw a get together, I always need to know the number of people so as to have enough food and drink. Your hubby should have asked them and you should have followed up. I kinda think you are ok with them not coming. Sheeeeeeeeeeesh…

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It’s both of your faults honestly. Their feelings are valid. I would be just as upset. Just give them time to cool off. Then approach them not via text but phone call or in person to find a conclusion.

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Why is the bar for men literally laying on the floor? This whole argument of, well, some men are just not good at these things… You should’ve double checked, you should’ve made sure he did it… This is her husband, not her child. She is not his mother. He forgot. His fault.

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Y’all are both aholes him forgetting and you for either not doing it yourself to make sure it got done or calling them and double checking it’s not just him to blame it’s your fault to can’t use the I was busy planning this thing you had time to everybody else you could have made time to double check with them so it is your circus your monkey situation