The only thing we wouldn’t use is bedding like a baby mattress or sheets and blankets. Everything else is fair game and we appreciated everything. We loved the fact that my parents yard saled and thrifted. And we did as well
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I’d just be thankful she wants to help …
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My opinion, It’s totally your choice if you want to use new or old! Completely your choice. My only thing is that your husband asked you not to say anything to her. So I simply wouldn’t. Just to respect him and since it is his mom… he’s just not wanting to hurt her feelings or get anything started between the two of you. Since obviously there are different opinions. She probably enjoys the shopping she does honestly lol You can always donate whatever she gives you so it’s not a total waste. I know there are always mamas that need help.
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Honestly you’re ridiculous! Baby items are hardly even used or even worn half the time and I’m sure she was picking out good stuff not things full of stains. I get wanting all new things for your baby but its not necessary. I’ve put hand me downs on my daughter and no one would ever know any different. Plus you wash them first anyways.
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PFB? Wait til you realise how expensive kids actually are, you will quickly appreciate any help, second hand or not.
They grow out of things ridiculously quickly, so I hope you have the bank account to keep up with all the new stuff you will constantly be buying.
I think its lovely of your MIL to want to help.
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How about you stop being an ungrateful little witch? Put it aside and get rid of the items over time to those who would actually need or use them.
She’s thinking of you and trying to help you out. It’s not her fault you’re materialistic 
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Donate the things to a church . Lots of people can’t afford new .
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I was like that with my first but then I had 5 more and you learn to prioritize.
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You clearly don’t know how expensive kids are. You are being rude, and an a*€hole
U sound like a snob. yes, yes you are very much the a**h*le about more then just this if I had to guess.
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It’s your choice obviously, but you’re sounding super ungrateful and selfish. If you don’t want anything used just accept it gracefully and donate it to someone that would be happy to have something. You can later tell her that you have enough and are fully prepared for the baby so not to worry about anything more… but seriously shame on you
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It’s pretty unrealistic and materialistic tbh and you’re potentially setting yourself and the new baby to be left out of future gift exchanges
Most of the items you’ll use for the new baby will be used for literally moments before they outgrow them
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This comes off as really ungrateful. I’m sure your MIL doesn’t have a ton of extra money to spare and just wants to do something nice for her son and her grandkid. Your husband probably doesn’t want you to tell her because he knows it’s going to hurt her feelings. Some people weren’t born with a silver spoon and all they can do is their best. Clothes can be washed and anything else can be wiped down with Clorox wipes.
Some things I wouldn’t reuse like pacifiers, bottles and car seats. But anything else is fair game. And most used baby clothes aren’t even used because babies grow so fast.
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I love the hand me down onesies and stuff for new babies because all of mine would have diaper blowouts (they do massive farty poops as babies 
) and since they were hand me downs I didn’t feel bad just dumping the onesie instead of washing a gross poop stained clothing almost everyday
You sound like a bitch. I feel sorry for your mil, husband and new baby.
Yep!! I’d def never speak to u again if u were my dil! Baby stuff is expensive and is used for only a few short days. Be greaful say thanks and stop being materialistic! It’s rude!
When you see how fast they grow and how you spent hard earned money on things they will wear once, or things you will never use maybe your nast attitude will change.
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Yes you are the a hole. Wow. This whole post is annoying
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Hand me downs are essential and great. Honestly.
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I would be thrilled. U should be thankful
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No! You are the mom and those are your kids! It’s your choice! If you can afford new items that is great! All you have to do is tell your MIL your feelings in a polite way and that is all! It’s not about what anyone else thinks… You are the MOM! 
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In all honestly it is your choice but she’s really just trying to be nice and help you. You should be happy you have family trying to help you, some people don’t have that at all. Hell, some people don’t even get to use brand new things for their baby. You should really humble yourself. There is such thing as bleach and disinfectant spray if it bothers you that bad.
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So my baby was going to go for open adoption to a couple we knew, but they tried to adopt him illegally. When I found out, I backed out of the adoption and kept him. They tried saying I had planned this but I had NOTHING. Everything my baby boy has is handed down, pre used (we have a hot pink car seat from his older cousin😂) and I’m insanely grateful. My bf has been between jobs and I’ve been on unpaid leave so we haven’t had any extra funds to just go out and buy new stuff. If you’re able to that’s great, but if not I’d just wipe down / sanitize / wash whatever you do get. If anything you can either donate or sell it if you don’t want to keep it.
Is this is your first kid? My MIL brings thrift store things all the time. I find any gift very sweet and thoughtful whether they will be of use or not. Its your prerogative to not want to use pre loved things, but I definitely wouldn’t be mean about it. Maybe that’s what she can afford.
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Its called washing things. You’re kid isn’t gonna know whether all their stuff is new, so YOU will be wasting money. Maybe dont be so ungrateful? Just an idea.
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Tell me your a spoiled, entitled, and ungrateful person without telling me…
Ok look, you are entitled to your feelings and what not. But why would you buy completely all new things for a germ infested little child. I mean come on, my 3 boys are just fine wearing used items or playing with used items. How is it gross? It is only GROSS if you don’t wash the clothes or sanitize the stuff…
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You are being selfish and snobbish. Your mother-in-law is just trying to help. The stuff can be washed. You sound like an ungrateful daughter-in-law.
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There’s a right and wrong way to address the situation. Just take the items and donate them. That’s what I did. I don’t use used items either. With all the recalls, it’s better safe them sorry.
My dil thought the same way ……… now shopping at once upon a child. Littles outgrow. Many items that never even get worn
If you don’t want the things, you can donate it to someone else. That’s what I do with all the things someone gives me that I don’t want. You don’t have to accept it or use it just because some strangers on Facebook are trying to condemn you for not wanting something🙄 if your mother in law can’t afford new things, that’s perfectly fine, she doesn’t have to. Just don’t turn around and say that she never gave you anything.
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Do you realize how clothes are made. They come from the factory with all kinds of hands that have touched them. Do you know how many new items have been touched by people in the store. See their are just as many germs on brand new clothes and used ones. You still have to wash all of them anyways:woman_shrugging:t2:
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Be grateful some grandparents don’t help with anything, to buy everything new is a waste of money save that money for college funds or for future things that your kid will actually ask for and want.
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Your child, do as you want. Take items and donate some one will love to have them. This day and time many will be glad to have items, times are hard for some families.
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You are the AH… there are only certain things you don’t use used but the rest are perfectly fine to wash and sanitize… wow
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l get paid over $157 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18347 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Honestly, I had everything new for my daughter. But, that’s because I literally got everything from my baby shower/family. I wouldn’t be mad however, to have used stuff. Kids grow so fast & some things we just never used. I think it’s sweet she’s thinking of your baby!
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Good thing you have the means to support your obsession. Donate the items you received to a women’s shelter. They will be very thankful for your donations
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Let your baby grow a healthy immune system:joy: germs are good 
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Babies grow quick. It’s extremely economical to buy second hand clothes for your baby/toddler. We bought a few new outfits, but most of my sons clothes were from garage sales and once upon a child.
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You’re free to make whatever decisions you feel are best for your child. If I was the MIL, I’d want to know that what I’m buying isn’t being used.
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I raised and still raising my children and myself on thrift shopping and yard sales nothing wrong with it!! You have every right to tell them
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You are definitely the AH 
try having a bit more gratitude in your life. Your privilege and level of entitlement is disgusting.
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She should know, you can do this in a very polite way. But I could understand why you don’t want used… There are quite a few items I would never buy used unless I had no other choice.
Tell her if you need to. but never expect no help when you want it, Glad your rich and can get all new things, Never expect help.
I personally have 3 children who love to have brand name clothing and even though i can afford them I refuse to spend that kind of money for all 3 kids. We thrift shop all the time and find brand name stuff for a fraction of the cost and my kids think it’s so awesome that they can get brand name stuff less expensive. I used to be grossed out too but I have this amazing machine called a WASHING MACHINE to wash and sanitize these items. They come home and go directly into the wash and there is even a product that you can buy for laundry that kills bacteria.
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Yes you are the AH for sure.
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I love hand me downs, but you are the AH. They made washers and dryers for a reason.
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You have every right to feel how u feel about used stuff but it may change as baby grows or you add more kids. We make decent money and have 4 kids but my life is all about thrift stores or garage sales my kids don’t even notice if I bought the stuff from goodwill or target and I have 3 teens
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I used to be like you. But the fact is babies outgrow things so quickly and sometimes they don’t even like many things like carriers, swings, bassinets etc… So many of those “used” items could be pretty much brand spanking new. If you go to Once Upon a Child or even Facebook Market you can get so many new or like new items for a fraction of the cost. And like another poster said laundry sanitizer is AMAZING if you’re worried about germs which past the newborn stage (with the exception of immunocompromised babies) really you shouldn’t overdo.
If it really still grosses you out then I personally would find a nice way to tell your MIL so she doesn’t waste her money AND donate those items to a baby in need.
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It is definitely up to you. And good for you that you can provide all new. HOWEVER, clothes can be washed and be germ free so that isn’t even an argument. You need to thank your MIL for thinking of the kids but you don’t feel comfortable with used clothing.
You want what you want and no one can tell you differently. If you don’t want to use used stuff, you can’t be forced to.
Therefore, let them know you’d like only new items or nothing at all. And then you’ll have to accept if they decide not to get you/baby anything because they don’t want to/can’t buy new.
Problem solved. Stick up for yourself.
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Baby’s don’t even use items very long. This seems absolutely rediculous to me. You should be greateful that someone wants to offer assistance.
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You can do whatever you want for whatever reason you want aside from recalls that you can look into you basically ARE AN AH if you’re not going to be grateful for your mils kind generosity and expect all brand new things then yes she has a right to know she doesn’t have to waste her money that’s not good enough for your ego and greed but you don’t have any right to put your husband through that and I actually feel bad for him and I hope you don’t expect him to be financing your rediculous clout after you turn away sincere help to make him pay twice for
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You’re absolutely entitled to use whatever for your babies. However, don’t get butthurt when people make you pay for those items yourself because you refuse to use the things they’re willing to buy.
I mean if you think you are to good for used stuff then you should at least tell her so she doesn’t waste her money
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Wow…I thrift shop for my kids its easier with them growing so quickly they do get new outfits also but the rate grow I wouldnt be able to keep up! Also the landfills dont need more clothing etc etc…I buy it I wash it they wear it! So now you have x amount of kids x amount of clothes…what do you do with the outfits as outgrown? I seriously think you need to stop and show gratitude be kind!!
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You are not required to be grateful for things you didn’t ask for. Your not the asshole . But neither is she.
God as a boy mom people like OP terrify me. One of my favorite things as a kid was seeing my grandma come out with the bags of stuff she found at yard sales. And does OP not realize brand new stuff can be equally as germy as used?? Think of all the dirty kids you see running their dirty little booty germ infested hands down every rack of clothes and toys they pass.
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Listen, I’m a germaphobe and I never used anything but brand new for my son. He’s now 12 lol Let her know that while you appreciate the thought, you’d just rather buy new things, and that the idea of it being used makes you cringe lol 
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I would just donate them back to goodwill.
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I felt like you before my own ex mil introduced me to garage sales. My goodness at the cute outfits I found and just like new… I always felt good about saving the $’s and my girls still looking so adorable in the bargain finds. Then it went onto great bargains for myself, the house and outdoor decor… now I am all for the garage sale signs !!! I brake for a garage sale.
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Save the new things for company… Use the other stuff at home Babies are very very mess… At both ends… soap and water in the washing machine gets rid of the “germs”…
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I can see not wanting to use stuff that can’t be washed or is a pain in the @$$ to wash(like a car seat cover) but wash them clothes and use them. What’s the difference in washing used clothes and washing an outfit that your baby pooped in and letting them wear it again ??
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Dang I wish I was financially stable enough to say “I will not use used things for my kids” that confidently
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I think this is where compromise needs to come into play. Maybe suggest the used items live at her house for when you guys visit so you don’t have to pack as much?
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Are you a first time mom?
If so, let me give you a little reality check. Kids are going to rip/stain their clothes. Babies ESPECIALLY will outgrow their clothes very quickly. If you’ve got the money to blow every few months buying brand new outfits, by all means go ahead.
Just stop accepting stuff from her if you can’t get off your high horse. It’s not fair for her to be wasting her money trying to be kind enough to purchase items for your child. Considering many grandmothers don’t.
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Just donate them slowly. Not all at once. Don’t say a thing. She is being thoughful. I personally don’t like used stuff for my kids either. I could afford new so no used for me.
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This is such a first world issue. Boo me, my mom wants to buy my kid stuff, but I only accept brand new because ew. 
Take what you can get, clothes can be washed and sanitized. When you realize how fast kids grow, you’ll start appreciating the help from others. 14 tons of clothing are thrown away each year. Do you know how fast kids grow? So they will wear an outfit maybe once or twice and it’s off to the landfills? Not to mention how expensive it can get. Just say thank you and go through them. Most clothes that are resold are worn once and some still have tags on them. Don’t knock the thrift clothes.
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Yes YTA. She’s trying to help. You must be FTM. 
. Kiddos grow so fast sure new for some stuff is nice, but some pre owned stuff is just as good. I find really good condition sometimes with tags pre owned stuff. Some of it expensive brand names. Kids are so so expensive. Feel grateful that your mil is trying to help you
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Find a mom group and donate the use items to a mom in need or that simple want the stuff. Don’t add any friction to your marriage by going behind your husband’s back and telling his mom stuff. Someone would love those used items! Just thank your MIL for the thoughtful gift and give it away or Donate it to the goodwill. Everyone wins!
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Someone told me that she was only using new things (I had some things to pass along) I didn’t think much of it. You should probably tell your MIL so maybe she’ll stop buying things. Do you have what you need for the baby though or a financial plan to get the new stuff?
Just mail it to me lol
What a prissy, little ungrateful whinge bag you are.
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Oh trust me you will be thrifting soon
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I think you’re being ungrateful. I was so grateful for the things others gave me. It saved us so much money and we paid it forward once we were done using the items. Kids are expensive, even just one.
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Wow. My Daughter had so much Thrift store clothing that she didn’t need clothes for 6 months. I was grateful for any and ALL clothing I could get. PSA:Clothes wash. 
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I mean, if you’re dead set on not using the used items, you should tell her. She’s basically wasting her money.
I’m sure your husband is worried about how it will make you look 
, which is also understandable but not fair to your mother in law.
I will say you do not need to fear COVID on used items though
If you can afford new, go you. but i have two kids, kids shit gets expensive, the only new stuff we got my second were bottles, a crib ( my sons was a mini crib and hers is a normal sized crib that will grow with her ), and teethers, things like clothes are mostly thrifted bc kids grow fast. you’ll soon figure this all out!
ETA: and a new carseat. those should be bought new per kid.
What nonsense. You are behaving like an entitled brat. Using covid as an excuse is ridiculous. If you are so completely independently wealthy that your baby can wear nothing but new, then fine, but if anyone else is doing without so you can be a diva, then shame on you!!
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Tell her so she can stop wasting money for your ungrateful self.
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I feel sorry for you. You need to grow up.
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You are very wrong… once you wash and disinfect anything she gives you… it’s safe for your little one. Be thankful that she is willing to help you.
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If you don’t use them and don’t want her wasting her money, then maybe you can sell them and use the money to buy new outfits with it. Respect hubby and don’t bring it up.
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Kids literally fuck up anything new! You can always wash and sanitize things. If it weren’t for hand me downs most kids wouldn’t have shit…. 
Must be your first baby…lol as long as they are washed and clean who cares.
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I have nothing nice to say I’m going to shut up
I mean do what you want, it’s your kid. But it’s not smart lol kids grow out of everhthing way too fast and hand me downs and thrifting is the way to go! Clothes can be cleaned and gear (bouncers, high chairs, etc) can be wiped down and sanitized. Clothes you buy from the store have germs on them too and you wash them before you put them on your baby lol. But again, to each their own 
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If you and your husband wants to buy all new things than so be it. Yes you should tell her you wont use items, but dont expect anyone but yourself to purchase brand new.
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You are rude and ungrateful maybe that’s all she can afford and she enjoys buying for her grandchild.Grow up
Wow come off ur pedestal!!! So u are shaming everyone that has lack of funds on here that’s not as wealthy as u stop being a snob n be thankful that she wants to help u guys out. Some day u may fall on hard times n I hope u realize. Not everyone is rich!!!
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U realize u can disinfect things. Right???
I hope y’all are planning on buying all this new baby stuff and not expecting others to “gift” it to you. There is nothing wrong with used/refurbished stuff. That’s what a washing machine and Lysol is for!
I’m wondering what a lot of others are wondering, is this your first child? Because if so, reality is about to smack you in the face with how expensive it is to furnish an entire nursery for a baby… that probably won’t even sleep in the nursery. That baby probably won’t even use half of the items and will grow so quickly that half the clothes bought for it will either never get worn or not get worn more than once.
Everything, for my first 3 children, was bought second hand and refurbished. The only reason my youngest had everything new was because my grandmother insisted on buying her everything new.
With all that aside though, it’s your child. You do what you want. But I would speak up now, so that your MIL can stop wasting her money!
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Yes you’re the a**hole.
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Cribs and stuff like that i could see. Used clothes are literally a blessing. Kids grow SO fast. And in the world today, anyone willing to buy me/my children/going out of their way and spend their money something for me/us would be appreciated. You seem pretty ungreatful though. Baby doesnt need all new things. Unless its your first baby and you would prefer all new for the start of your family.
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I think if you’re wanting new stuff, then you should go buy it…
If not, then maybe just be thankful you have a support system?
If you have the money to buy new stuff, then go for it. But from experience, the new stuff is a pretty penny once its all added up. Id accept the help or buy it all yourself. Don’t act like a spoiled brat.
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Wow. Just wow. Is this for real? Like you realize newborns are in those clothes for like 2 weeks and most of the stuff is new with tags on. You are literally wasting money.
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You sound like a silver spoon kinda bitch to me tbh. I don’t usually get rude and blunt but this really rubbed me wrong, yes your child deserves new things, your child also is blessed to have people willing to help with clothes even hand me downs. Please do not raise your child with the mindset you have. We have too many of those people in the world as is. And you need to start being humble.
My boys rarely had brand new stuff unless it was a safety issue
They all are fine thrifty young men
Yes … you are in the wrong for going behind your husband’s back … to HIS mother he asked you not to. That’s so disrespectful
Also if you only new… the don’t ask anyone for any help … buy it yourself and have fun with the price of things. I feel so sorry for your husband clearly you have no issue disrespecting him and going behind his back . What else do you do behind his back? Wash the stuff… simple… I guess you throw all your stuff away and don’t donate or hard down to friends cause your stuff would also be " gross" maybe of you asked his mom … she could give you some I sight into what a washing machine does, cause honestly… you sound like you are going to need so much help 
unless you’re germaphobe and can’t help it then still buy your own. You sounds very unpleasant sewing how you went behind his back… purposely .
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Well hello Mrs. Rockefeller 
