I would be stern and tell him he needs to get a job by a certain date, that he will be 18 soon & he needs to be able to support himself. Personally, He needs to work, he needs to be respectful of your house & your things. If he doesn’t want to get a job and follow basic house rules then… there isn’t much luck for him.
Take away all of his stuff that you pay for except a bed and clothes. Tell him he has a month to get a job or he’s out of your house. If that times comes and he has no job pack his belonging and sit them on the porch and lock the doors. He’s an adult at that point and needs to grow up.
Tell him to get a job or move out.
Sadly if he’s behaving like that, he’s probably not going to do anything on his own to improve himself. As a tough love thing I would go to the courts to legally evict him if things don’t change. Hopefully that would force him to get a job and start taking care of himself. Sadly you can’t just kick him out if he knows the law
I’d tell him to get a plan to gtfo of my house next month when that 18 hits. If ur paying for his cell phone take that, if you paid for any gaming take that. Cut him off. I’d whoop my kid momma means business don’t let ur kids walk all over you.
Tell him he needs to go to school or get a job and help pay for expenses and change his attitude. Otherwise he’s gone. Tell him he has until he is 18 otherwise he has to go. And stop giving him money. If he fights leaving have him evicted.
Stop giving him money tell him to work for it…My rule is school or job or you will not live in my house.Say what u mean and stick to it.
It sounds like he needs therapy.
Why don’t you try to nurture his mental health?
Start training him to be an adult 16 years ago.
Kick him out, No son should treat there parents like that! I wouldn’t hesitate, just kick him out!
You need to kick him out before he turns 18
Sadly parenting doesn’t end at 18 and I don’t think people understand that. Providing for him is essential until 18. But I don’t think “cutting him off” now or at 18 would do anything for him besides make him resent you more. it makes me sick seeing these people saying just to evict him. Give the boy a place to sleep and tell him if he can’t get a job to go get food stamps to contribute/feed himself. Cut off luxuries like wifi, his phone you pay for, etc. Tell him you’re there for him but he has to be there for himself because you’re his MOM.
Change the locks and throw him out or you will be dealing with this forever.
Steal the weed and flush it. Get a safe with a pin code and lock up all your money and cards so he doesn’t have access to buy anymore & can’t steal from you. If he wants to act like a 10 year old treat him like one, take away privileges you pay for. If he wants things like internet ect he can get a job and help pay.
clear out everything from his room find somewhere to hide it litterly leave only a bed and make him earn the duvet and pillows etc and so on, stop giving him money tell him it will all be returned once he gets a job and earns it for himself
call the police and see if they will ‘scare him straight’
He needs to quit smoking weed and get a job or get out .
Sounds like a teenage boy that got out of being disciplined most of his life. And now mom is mad about the ending repercussions. Looks like you now have your hands full.
As long as you enable him in anyway, he’s going to continue to act like this. I know this from experience with my own son who is 19 now. But my situation was a little bit different cause my son was a addict. Cut him off completely. And yes, in most states you have to legally evict him to remove him and if he is still 17 you are still legally responsible for him sadly . I hate that I had to put my foot down and kick my son out for other good reasons, but I had no choice cause he wouldn’t change or respect my rules in my home that I raise other children in. Hang in there momma, you will be ok.
Tough love mama. It’s really hard but it’s only gonna get worse. Yes…. WORSE. Stand up for yourself. He wants to be a thug, let him thug it somewhere else.
Call your local juvenile office
You gone have to put your foot down and stop enabling him. Make him earn what he wants from you.
The bad side of weed…
The ones who say just kick him out, are you even parents? It’s hard. Especially when you watch your child grow. To become something like this is obviously a cry for help. Maybe he has past traumas he needs to deal with. Mental health is very important for young ones coming into adulthood. I agree tho do not give him money but he needs something, a reality check. Don’t give up and keep working with him.
Kick. His. Ass. Out.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but this is your fault. You allowed the behavior, so the behavior continued.
First, stop giving him money, for anything. Pay the household bills and provide household food, but give him nothing directly. Sit him down now, even with his attitude, and tell him he is going to be an adult in a month and it’s time to act like one. He can remain under your roof, but here are the stipulations. He has to clean up after himself and pay X amount of dollars a month in rent/bills. Make it VERY CLEAR to him that if he does not meet the requirements, he will be moving out.
Now, before I get attacked here, I fully believe that parenting doesn’t stop at 18. We are required to get them to 18, but just because they’re 18 doesn’t mean our job is done. With that being said, throwing his ass out of the house IS parenting. I don’t care what anyone else says. If you allow him to continue living under your roof, acting like he is, all you’re doing is enabling him. He’s gonna be set in his ways with you and then he’s gonna meet someone and move on to using and abusing them and then he’s gonna end up giving some young woman a complex about herself. I know this, because I’ve lived this. Your job as a parent is to prepare him for the world. To prepare him to be a happy, health, productive member of society. Sometimes that takes tough love. As a mother, I’m sure you don’t wanna throw him out, but smacking him in the face with reality, might be what he needs to get his shit together.
Everything besides clothes and his bed gets put in a storage locker thats in his room. Tell him he needs to get a job so he can pay for what he wants back. He needs to learn not everything is handed to him and learn responsibility
Cut him off till he does things
Sounds like he might need some mental health therapy and perhaps some antidepressant medication. Have you talked to his doctor?
He needs to move out and see what growing up is all about. As long as he lives in your house he’s never going to do anything for himself.It doesn’t mean you don’t love him when he make him leave, it’s shows that you love him enough to help him grow I into a man.
Surrender him To the state
Military residential high school program. He can get his GED there and enlist and go straight into the military.
Tell him pack his crap and get out
Sounds like a teenager who was messed up by being overly spoiled and not disciplined like at all growing up. You all should go to family therapy to work things out.
Get an eviction started now. It legally takes three months
He will continue what you allow. I would stop giving him money, and apply some tough love. I would sit down and tell him what you need from him. If he doesn’t then tell him to move out when he is 18. Actions have consequences, you will need to stand your ground. Stop rewarding his bad behavior!
It sounds like he does in fact have anger problems, possibly anxiety and/or depression. He needs therapy, guidance and discipline. Cutting him off or kicking him out will more than likely make things worse and can lead to way bigger problems.
I’m actually shocked at all the people that say toss him out. Curious to know, if you said to toss him out, do you have adult children? I have a 21 year old and an 18 year old. My first concern would be why is he acting this way? What is going on? Does he actually have mental health issues? Does he feel that anger inside? Cannabis does help with anxiety and mental issues so maybe he is smoking to help, and maybe he is reaching out. It isn’t normal behavior for a 17 year old so something is going on. I always thought the up all night days would be the hardest but parenting between the ages of 16-21 are much harder. If you toss him out, where will he go? Will it end to him sleeping on someone’s couch that isn’t a good spot for him? In my experience, when my depression was at it lowest point, I didn’t care to better myself either. I wanted to lay in my bed and do nothing. Try to get him help.
if he has no job how does he lay around smoking weed all day? in your house …to boot insert eye roll here hes sounds like hes either not in a good way mentally or hes a spoiled little kid … time to get a little…a lot more rules and a job making min wage …if he dont wanna go to school … see how long he likes working his ass off for next to nothing,
Before he turns 18 talk to the county and let them take him to some kind of rehab facility. It’s hard, but once he turns 18 your screwed and stuck. Call school for truancy. You still have power to fix this before 18.
Try job core maybe school isn’t for him and he can learn a trade through job core
He may be 17 but whoop his ass pack him a bag and tell him that if he can’t help out or get a job and respect you go live somewhere else.
(If it were me I would’ve left for a few days then came back and helped out or got a job. Teenagers are too busy worrying about pretending they’re grown but they do not do what they need to, to actually BE grown!)
Pack his bags and put him out the door.
Pack his shit up and kick him out.
Let him see that you work hard to provide and that adulting is bloody hard. He will soon come back and thats when you can set rules and boundaries or charge him bored/rent. No pay no laundry or food. Put locks on the fridge etc. Beat him at his own game. Get smart.
Take him to a shelter and let him find out the hard way what its like out there in the real world .
Make him get a job to help with bills that he uses oor kick him out once he’s 18 to try to teach him the real world
He needs to be evaluated by a mental health professional. You may have to say that he either starts seeing someone or he has to move out.
You’ve waited too long to have any other consequences.
#1 how does he get money for weed ! Stop giving him money .
Then call the police and have them send someone to talk to him and scare the hell out of him
All else fails kick his smart mouth eye rolling self out the door ! Let him see what the real world is all about
Call the police
I would be clear- here are what you need to do by this date and here are your chores or you will in fact need to find a place for you to live. (I would wait until 18) to explain he has to leave. Sorry it’s life
I wouldn’t supply money or food or any other privileges like the vehicle or internet. Let him know how it will feel in a cpl of years if he keeps this up.
Well next month he better change
When he’s 18 kick him out then.
Time to cut him off and kick him out. Time to learn shit don’t come free in life and you have to work for everything. He sounds like a spoiled brat that has had life handed to him, time for you to put your foot up his ass and make him grow up. Same thing id do if my 15 year old tried doing this. I will not support his ass his whole life. And if he trashes your house change the locks and don’t give him a key. Only let him inside while you are home.
My blood started boiling before I even got half way through this post.
This is a severe case of you love your child, but you need to love him from afar!
I agree with the above comment, it will only continue as long as YOU allow and enable!
He honestly sounds like how my ex and his sister were with their mom and I will tell you, she had an amazing good paying job and had AMAZING credit, until her daughter used her info and got credit in her name and maxed out each and every card, they both stole all the jewelry she ever owned, electronics anything they could get their hands on to pawn or sell they took it. She died with NOTHING because of her kids! She was living with family because she ended up in the hospital and while there her kids sold EVERYTHING, down to her refrigerator and washer and dryer. She came home to her house empty! She didn’t press any charges so I didn’t feel bad for her at all. She brought all that on herself. Had she made police reports each and every time her kids stole for her and held them accountable that wouldn’t have happened!
I would rather die alone with everything I worked my ass off for my whole life and my kids hating me for making them pay for their actions than die with nothing!
Change the locks secure the home When he’s out. Hell eather snap out of it or flip out but it’s happening eventually get it over with
Just another example of why the trophy participation generation was a bad idea. These kids do not have mental issues, or trauma or need medication, thats just a excuse to help enable them to continue to be lazy and a drain on humanity as we know it. It’s laziness and no work ethic or self pride.
Stop enabling him first of all!! Give him a deadline and stick to your guns. You’re helping him to be a bum if you continue to let him manipulate you.
Anything you bought take out of his room except the mattress and afew pairs of clothes. Sell everything or toss it in the trash- a dumpster not the home garbage where he can just grab it and bring it back in. Shut off his phone and take the door off the hinges. stop doing his laundry and only make dinner for yourself. He will learn eventually that he needs to do things for himself.
I don’t allow weed … or any other drugs … in my home. Not for family, not for friends. I’ll call the cops, and they all know that. What they do in their own homes or their vehicles or anywhere other than my home is up to them, but I won’t have it in my home. You shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of disrespect.
Tell him he needs to man up, get a job, and get his own place … where he can do whatever he likes, and he can foot the bill for it. Period. Tell him that he needs to be moved out the day after he turns 18, so he better get busy figuring out where he’s going to work, where he’s going to live, and how he’s going to pay for his expenses. If he gets violent, call the police.
You work and take responsibility for yourself, and you shouldn’t have to be sucked under by an ungrateful offspring. It’s your job as a parent to prepare your child for the world. He needs to know what responsibility is, and now is not too soon. Good luck.
Time to change the locks and send him a legal eviction notice next month
No job, how is he buying weed?
Stop anything that enables him. Money is the first to stop. No more weed. He’s not old enough by law anyways. Then get the cops involved. Have them have a nice chat with him. During this process tell him he must attend school and get a job. Give a couple weeks/month to straighten things out. If none of those are achieved, let him go Mama. Your job is done.
Stop enabling him by giving him money to buy weed. If he’s stealing it, call the cops on him. On his birthday, show him the door.
So, for everyone saying there MUST be something wrong mentally, not everything is rooted in having mental health problems, some kids and adults just love being assholes and there isn’t any changing in that.
I would personally tell my child that they have a certain amount of time to figure things out because after that, you’re either here doing something or you’re out there trying to figure it out.
I’m not one to just kick children out but if they’re being asses, then they absolutely need a kick of reality to understand that nobody is gonna be there to hold their hand forever
When he turns 18, evict him. When he comes back tell him the house rules and if he doesn’t abide or do anything to better himself, out he goes
You raised him this way now you want to push him out and make him society’s problem.
I would beat my kids ass if they chose to act this way. Have them arrested, whatever it took. But I also refuse to raise kids to act this way sooo
Send him to work at a ranch for a summer he’ll learn quick that’s not acceptable there’s lots of ranches in Wyoming and Montana always looking for summer help
Too late to start now!!!
When he turns 18 tell him to get out or keep on doing what you have been doing!
Pack his bags and kick him out at 18.
Some parents have done the same for less of a reason.
I was homeless at 17 because of my sexuality. Even though I was working two jobs - and helping my mother with her second job whenever I could.
Also picked my younger brother up from school, etc.
And I was still kicked out when I was outed.
Point being that if my family didn’t feel bad about it despite the fact that I didn’t deserve it, then you certainly shouldn’t feel bad given his attitude.
Do not throw him out! Do what u can before 18 because after that all u can do is enable or watch. Take him while you can for a mental health evaluation, preferably talk to a doctor beforehand to see if there’s a concern of any imbalance or if he’s just becoming somewhat of what Darren Parrish described (it happens) Maybe seeing you aren’t bs’n and are going to make him contribute in some way to the household (money, chores, something that won’t allow him to be a bum) he’ll do it to avoid extremes he may very well know he doesn’t need…but fight him or you’ll lose him to these ways. Hell at the very least make him buy his own weed!
Send him to the military!! Have a recruiter come out and talk to him!! If that doesn’t work then try a different kind of boot camp, with the law involved! He has to grow up and take responsibility for his actions, good or bad! You deserve peace !!!
Whoop that a** like whoop it good because that’s how his reality check will feel once karma comes to collect…pack his crap and put him out… no mother should have to be disrespected with that behavior.
Though I will say when he is high ask him “why are you angry” and remain as calm as possible… I smoke to calm my mind best time to express my feelings…
um kick him tf out. He’ll find out the hard way since he don’t wanna grow up and learn like a man. He’s a big boy, not a kid anymore.
This is why you have to start disciplining at a young age. I know in Canada they are adults at 18. I’d kick his a** out if he wants to act like that. He just sounds like a lazy kid who’s had his way his whole life.
18th bday u pack his shit and set it outside amd change the locks with the cops on standby that is completely ridiculous amd u don’t owe anything but a roof and some clothes and a couple of meals meals day till his 18th bday let life teach some lessons with 2*4 to the face
Put his ass out! He will learn fast!
I believe that if you’re having to ask when you should cut him off you already likely know that you need to cut him off. You’ve done all that you can do and I trust that you tried your hardest to raise an amazing person and he just has to realize his potential. But from here on out he wants to act like an adult then you need to let him act like an adult on his own
Stop enabling him and kick him out and don’t ever give him money again and make sure he knows this when he leaves
At seventeen he knows exactly what he is doing. He sounds immature for his age as well as entitled.
If you feel that you have done all that you can, then you can tell him to leave without feeling guilty.
Its hard for one parent to do it all and at this age he is probably bigger and stronger than you. Its not uncommon for sons to physically abuse their mothers.
You do not have to tolerate his behaviour. He has to know and accept consequences when he goes too far. This is a life lesson for him and he either learns it the easy or hard way.
Sounds like mama enabled him… Give him 2 weeks or sign him up US MARINES… they’ll put him on his feet right away
Don’t give him any money. Don’t leave anything around that he can take for himself. If he wants to smoke weed tell him to get his own money and buy his own weed and his own food etc
I would change the lock and close the door one last time I think you have gone to long already.
Throw away his weed whenever you find it you do not have to allow it in your home. Keep things locked up. Cameras in the shared spaces of the home. Get a safe for valuables if necessary. If he steals press charges every time. And don’t do for him like getting him a job. You give him the basics he needs for survival. Food, water, and clothes, school supplies that are necc. If he trashed his area if the home then take away everything but a mattress and some basic bedding. Give him clothes daily. If he assaults someone press charges.
Send him to his dad!!!
This is going to sound super harsh but obviously the kid hasn’t had great parenting. At this point all you can do is set firm boundaries. Examples include you can’t get money from me. You pay your own bills. If you steal from me you need to find somewhere else to go. Etc. look into therapy for all of you. Because this is a big problem now. If we don’t set firm expectations and boundaries as children this is the result
Wait for him to turn 18 and evict him. Force him to grow up.
Kick his ass to the curb pack a bag momma it is called tough love put up cameras so if he breaks in you can charge him you are not helping him it is gonna be rough but you got this momma
If one of my boys disrespected me or trashed my house they would be finding a different place to live that day. Kick him out the longer you let it go the worse it’s going to get.
He needs to learn the value of a dollar. Take him to a local charity and make him volunteer. He might learn some work ethic and empathy for others and become grateful for what he has. As others said stop paying for everything. He gets three hot meals and a bed to sleep in. Beyond that he has to earn it through chores. Consistency is key. Whatever you decide to do stick to it. Also talk to him and ask him why he feels the way he feels. Get to the root of the problem.
Stop giving him money, call the cops of he gets violent, slowly get rid of your stuff and move out when he’s 18 leave him the house, the bills and let him buy his own food.
It’s sounds like he has something mentally going on with him. Therapy for the family may shed some light on the situation
I would start making him pay for stuff on the house. U can turn off individual breakers in your house. Shut off his bedroom or wherever he frequents most in the house. Shut every thing off before u leave the house and put a chain lock around your fridge and other things. If u kick him put he will resent you. Being kicked out like that is traumatizing and it won’t help your relationship. Forcing him to do things and setting up jobs he doe snt want isn’t going to help bc he doesn’t care. But if u lock up all nessecities and turn his shit off he will have to work for it. If he doesn’t want to and decides to move out bc of it then it was his choice and he won’t be able to tell ppl u just kicked him out
You said he doesnt have anger issues yet you say everyone walks eggs shells around him, get him some help!
Kick him out give him tough love. Literally let him figure it out. Tell him he can stay if he goes to school gets a job and pays bills picks up after himself. If he can’t or won’t then he isn’t welcome in your home.
Do your best to not show any fear! Even if you’re nervous/scared of him, don’t show it! DO NOT WALK ON EGGSHELLS AROUND HIM! If he gets angry and breaks things, threatens you, anything like that, call the cops. They can make him leave and if they make him leave, you WILL NOT have to evict him. So I’d tell him he’s got 30 days to get a job and get his shit together or get out. If anything happens in between then, DOCUMENT IT ALL! If he breaks something out of anger, write down the day and rough estimate of time. IF you have to take him to court, (which no parent wants to do, but sometimes you have to), then you have proof of what’s happened and why he needs to go.
A smack in the mouth and parenting goes a long way. I’m sorry but it’s going to be extremely difficult to get things turned around. You’ve let it go on for WAY to long. Counseling at risk youth programs etc good luck to you mama I couldn’t imagine
Tough love put him out