Tuff love its time to cut his dead beat ass off
Sounds like you already know the answers to your questions
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Do not provide money. Suspend any phone you pay for him. Change the wifi password. Press charges for illegal actions. Take everything you bought him besides 3-5 outfits 1 pair of shoes, 1 coat, bed with 1 set of sheets, a blanket and pillow. If he wants his privileges back, he goes to school or gets a job and pays bills. If none of this works, Evict him.
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Kick him out when he turns 18. Don’t give him money or anything.
Well,when he’s 18 tell him he can go to work or found somewhere else to live.
If u don’t stop him and stand up to him, he will run your life .myself next time he stole from me,he would go to jail,son or no son a thief is a thief and he needs to stop acting like a trashy no go punk.
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Tough love, look it up
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Well when he turns 18 he’s legally an adult and can go to adult time out 
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Too late to correct that attitude. Kick him out when he turns 18. He will find out quickly how easy mama was on him.
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At what time do you cut him off? Sounds like you know the answer to that already.
I was a very disrespectful teenager (nothing to this degree). I worked all through my last two years of high school, but liked to party and go crazy. My mom and dad kicked me out and now I am a successful logistics manager with 3 beautiful kids and a life I love… I took a leap 4 years ago and moved to a new city for work because I learned real quick what the real world was about.
He will learn about life if you let him or he will continue to be an a**hole if you let him. The choice is yours mama. Best of luck to you!!
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he’s almost 18 if he doesn’t get a job doesn’t clean up after himself has no goals won’t go to school and is doing nothing with his life then it sounds like he needs a rude awakening. Pack his stuff up and kick him out tell him it’s time to move out and move on and time for him to learn what real life is like
My sons the same way
He is 19 now still doing the same stuff but not living with me he is with his dad
Sounds like my half brother. He is the same way with my mom but she takes it. I would kick him out of the house but give him a deadline don’t just say get out. Tell him he has a month to find some where else to live and if he doesn’t leave call the cops to get him out. No one deserves to be treated like that. Good luck!
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Sounds like you didn’t spank him as a kid
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He is an adult at age 18, time for him to move out
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My son had a full-time job and finished high school a semester early. So a few weeks before graduation and just after his 18th birthday he decides his st doesn’t stink and quits his job. He gets big time attitude. This was in mid-May. I told him, he was 18 now, that he needed to change his attitude and get a job with health insurance benefits since he wasn’t going to college and would be off my insurance. I gave him to August 15 or he and his st would be on the front lawn. He recently told his gf that he knew me well enough to know that it was not a threat but a fact. So he joined the Navy. He came up with his own solution, job, health insurance, job training. He is now a heavy equipment mechanic and makes good money and still has his own health insurance. You need to make it clear that he has to come up with his own solution. Living at your house is not the solution once he is 18. Make no suggestions. In fact I think I said I didn’t care where he went after I kicked him out. After he joined the Navy and had a go date, he asked if he could stay until his go date. I said yes, but attitude still had to improve.
Tell him to start looking because when he 18 he’s not your responsibility anymore.
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See if there is like a big brother mentor program around you. Find him a male role model he can look up to, someone that helps motivate. He needs something to give him confidence or even something that will motivate him. I’m sorry your struggling good luck momma
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Sounds just like my brother when he was that age. He stole money, pills, etc from my grandmother. He abused her. He was 16 when he went to jail for the first time. Unfortunately she still enabled him. He’s now 33 and been in and out of jail since 16. If you don’t quit enabling him he will turn out the same way. It starts with weed, will turn to more later on and the abuse will get worst.
Stop having “talks”. Keep it short, “pull your weight, take responsibility for yourself or get out”.
Unfortunately, You can only do so much for someone. They eventually have to do something for themselves.
You could try therapy, but doesn’t sound like he’d be willing, and you can’t force it.
Personally, I don’t see many other options if he simply just doesn’t want to grow up.
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Id throw stuff out door change Locksley him figure out now.ive also known few people to do this.
Give him a choice either shape up and get a job and start respecting people or get out and take a taste of reality
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This sounds like me at 16 except im female… Im also on the spectrum for Aspergers, I think they just call it tier 1 now or something weird though. High functioning autism.
Does he have many friends? If he doesnt hes probably feeling anxious… If he does, Are they doing the same stuff as him or are they progressing in life?
I really feel like you might be missing the key elements that are making him be like that because it doesnt sound like hes very verbal about how hes feeling and he sounds really defensive, frustrated and like hes given up on life.
I could be wrong, But thats the vibe I get from your explanation, Theres stuff below the surface that hes either not going to tell you or theres a miscommunication between his actions and how hes feeling inside. Most people dont want to submit their weaknesses to anybody they dont feel like are going to understand them and thats a huge part of HFA for me… How im feeling with a neurodivergent mind makes me act, think and talk differently than how a neurotypical person feeling the same way would act, think and talk in that moment and ive only met maybe 3 people in my life who understand whats going on in my head. Its like a multi lane, multi direction freeway as opposed to a quiet side street
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Do NOT reward bad behavior. Provide basic necessities until he’s out but nothing extra. Do not give him a dime, no rides, nothing. Earn some respect.
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Well he’s 18 show him the door. Work or go live somewhere else. You did your job mama!
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Ok so your definitely not alone. Sounds like maybe there hasn’t been much structure or consistency regarding rules, expectations, boundaries, consequences etc. hard to say obviously, but If you can get him to sit down with you, both of you put input >write up the household rules w consequences and rewards and within reason ex. Being respectful, must get a job, helps with chores,
Does not smoke weed…post them where they are visible. He won’t change over night, so you will need to both have patience, communicate, but you must be consistent. Don’t have to yell, just point out the list (I had one on my daughters door) Give him a deadline, if you have not seen any improvement then it’s time for him to move out. He will learn and he will be ok, just what life is with many teenagers unfortunately. How about finding a counselor for him ?
Good luck raising children is so difficult 
Need to send him packing!!
They have behavioral camps… kind of like boot camp. I know it might sound harsh but at this rate, it’s either that or (most likely) jail on the next couple years.
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You can kick him and give him an eviction notice from the courts. Don’t give him any money. Tell him to get therapy
Instead of pushing him to do anything , ask him what he wants to do. He could also be medicating due to something in his past.
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When he turns 18 hand him his cloths and maybe 10dollars and shove him out the door and lock it if you think hell couse trouble have the police there and they will remove him. I know
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When you have gotten to this point, time for him to go.
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My mom dropped me off at the homeless shelter with a bag of clothes and a few necessities and said “I love you but I can’t do this.”
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Military or Homeless he needs to learn somehow.
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All I can say is good luck.When u make up your mind.Turn phone on and record how he reacts.i would have someone in back room just in case things get out of hand.
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Tough Love girl, 18 tell him get out.Find a homeless shelter and drop him off. You have done your part he isn’t wanting to do his.
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So sorry. It’s time to cut the cord. Kick him out. Your enabling him. He does all these things because you allow it.
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This is why I hate shitty parenting. Now this m@n child will grow up and become society’s problem because he wasn’t raised right. Stop being a push over and put your foot down!
Put him in a group home or boot him out . It’s tough but you need to make him respect you. He wants to act like an adult and feel like he doesn’t need to listen to his mother then he can go be an adult somewhere else. He will be back
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Kiss his forehead, tell him you love him, remind him what a smart capable person he is.
THEN CHANGE THE LOCKS. If he wants a place to stay he can pay you rent.
SHUT OFF HIS PHONE. He wants to talk he can pay for it.
TURN OFF HIS BREAKER. He wants lights he can pay for it.
LOCK THE FRIDGE. He wants food he can do chores around the house.
Sometimes love is a swift kick in the @$$.
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Tell him if he doesnt have a job by his 18th birthday he will come home to his belongings packed and outside so he can be out. And STICK TO IT!!
Tough love but it is what it is.
My grown kids know better. Momma ain’t got cash to handout to someone grown. He can earn it himself. Everyone has to do their part in the household. MY 20 yr old lives with me and he would be damned if he isnt gunna work. I got babies to raise not the ones that are grown now.
Cut him off now…your doing him no good allowing him to treat u like that! My son has been working since he was 15 n in a full time job soon as he left school. Hes now out working everyday and provides for his own son. Also took me out for dinner with his first wage. Your son sounds like he needs a serious wake up call!
Shape up or ship out Is whats coming to mind x
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Once he turns 18 kick him out if he has no respect for you or your home he’s gotta go and I would stop giving him money as well
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Stop doing anything for him, if he steals call the police he needs to take responsibility for his actions
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Send him out. Your enabling him.
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sounds like my step brother honestly the best thing you can do is kick him out once he’s 18 he’ll either learn and get himself together or end up like my brother in and out of trouble. sooner or later he’ll learn and get himself right but right now he sees no reason too because he has it made it at home i’ve seen this exact situation first hand he’s 29 and goes to court again next week.
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I’m widow single parent my son is 17…got his ged he works at lawn service as supervisor he makes 2000 month …but he’s nasty in his room don’t help me with anything…smokes pot all time with friends…he b 18 in 6 months…I told him 18 your out I raised 5 kids…all disrespectful to me…he is tearing up my house also…I. sick of it…I went to civil court got him emaculated whatever u call it…I’m no longer responsible 4 him…he makes enough money he can find him place…I’m sick cleaning and repareing shit he destroys…best of luck to u we both need it
Tough love…kick his ass out and stick to your guns!!
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You ask for opinions, 17 years old, excuses not to find a job…stop supporting him quit enabling him, misery loves company send him out into the harsh cold world, we all have to grow wings and fly… he won’t attempt on his own, and lies etc…when you try to help, so enable him one last time…this is great, make him up a backpack with 3 changes of clothes a spare pair of shoes, a roll of quarters to wash his laundry, a baggie of laundry soap, a few buck for a bus ticket, or a cardboard sign that reads “anywhere USA” put it out on the porch, and lock your doors and windows… cruel possibly, but it’s effective…after age of 18 it’s breaking and entering…cops will love this, there otta be more mean parents out there like old school
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Kick him out, he’s grown. Don’t give him anything. Simple.
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Three choices…go to school, get a job, or get out!
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Next time he leaves change the locks tough love his ass. Put all his stuff outside with a note. Can’t respect my house let’s see how the real world treats you. Maybe one of your weed connects has a couch you can sleep on. And then a reminder…the house is being monitored and I’ve notified the PD of my intentions too. If you vandalize or destroy anything I will press charges. I’m done. It’s time you figure this out. I do love you and hope one day you’ll understand why I did this.
Pack his stuff and kick him out. If he doesn’t go willingly, call the police to remove him. Sounds like he thinks you’re a pushover. And you won’t do anything. But do this, he might straighten out and actually do something with his life. If not, let him hit rock bottom before helping him again.
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Kick him out now. Trust me once he realizes he has to make away for him self he will have to do something. It’s gonna be hard for both y’all. Don’t fold. He might find ppl willing to help him out for a lil bit but if he keeps up the way he is he will burn those bridges and have to grow up. It sucks and as a parent it will hurt
Kick his ass out. Let him get a taste of the real world. Hide your money and do not give him any. He can’t be disrespectful while simultaneously holding his hand out. It doesn’t work that way. He needs a wake up call now.
Pack his things and change the locks.
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Tell him he needs to find a place to live by his birthday
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Hand him eviction papers for his birthday. He doesnt get to live in a house that you pay for and be disrespectful and lazy.
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You can’t kick him out!! You can however remove his bedroom door, have the internet and his cell phone turned off, take his car, etc. Make him want to get a job.
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I hate to be the one to tell you he is on meth ypu better get him out of your home now cut him off or he will destroy you and your home
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letting him become homeless is an alternative. on his 18th birthday put his stuff out and change the locks.
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I’d never have allowed this type of manipulation to begin with. Parents are parents not friends. Now you have an almost adult that drains you. As for the now major problems I’d have him arrested for smoking weed. Sent to a juvenile school for children that think they can behave this way. As for cutting him off I would not give him any money period. Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner is at this time and is what it is. You don’t like it fine. Go to your room hungry. Basic human needs are all that would be given. I’d take away everything that is privileged. Change the Wifi password. At 18 he would be kicked out of the house. Job or not. It’s about time he has a wake up call! Change the locks. Security code if you have one. If he continues his behavior and lashes out press charges. You failed at teaching him proper boundaries and respect as a young child and allowed this to get to this point.
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I would have him served eviction papers for his birthday 
Sounds like as soon as he turns 18 you kick him out. Tough love🤷🏻♀️
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The time to cut him off and stop enabling him has long gone. No more extras! If it doesn’t pertain to his survival or school he doesn’t need it.
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He is a minor until 18 so basic needs is all he should have, change wifi, and cut all data on his phone, use only for an ER until 18, seek a therapist for him and give him the name & number and tell him to make an appointment that you are done with his disrespect and freeloading without helping in the home to do anything, tell him seek help so you can get on your own at 18 as you won’t be living with me, if he doesn’t do it then he’s on his own at 18, change locks and all & be safe in case he attempts to hurt you, I’ve heard of some kids being rebellious against parents. If you must then, seek help from the police.
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It’s probably to late for any type of discipline, let him know that at 18 he’s got to take care of himself…
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He has no anger issues??? Are you sure??? Come to terms with the man you are raising.
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If he doesn’t have a job how is he smoking weed? Stop giving him money or anything extra. Feed & shelter him until his bday. Then that’s it. Pack up his stuff & change your locks.
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The problem is not him, it started with you, you let him get away with this… deal with it or learn how to read all the comments above. Tough love darlin…learning starts with the patent that created this mess.
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Hes got to go… stand firm. He either respects your boundaries or hes out. Cut off the money…
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Why does everyone has to walk on eggshells around him? Ma’am put your foot down and teach him respect!!!
Only provide the bear minimum: food, a shower and a bed to sleep in & clothes, nothing more.
If he steals press charges, if he hits you or anyone else press charges, it is time to learn that his behaviour will not be tolerated anymore.
Take his phone away and give him a flip phone just so he can make calls in case of emergencies.
How can he afford to smoke if he doesn’t have a job?
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Get job straighten up or Get The Fuck out . Oh and remind him you live him on the way out the door
Cut him off of everything and make him leave at 18 he’s taking advantage of you and you’re allowing it.
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haha…kick him out…its the best thing u can do for him…
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Girl… I feel you! In same situation with my daughter. She’s 22 and with a kid… I don’t know what to do I can’t kick her to street she’d be homeless and I won’t do that to my grandson …I’m trying to make life harder by not giving in with money or help. She’s also a lazy smoker. So far making her earn money is working … shes starting I clean around house more bit she still sleeps too long.
You can’t really throw down this huge ultimatum of “when you turn 18” because he does what he wants and you’ve obviously never followed through on things. Start with some smaller things . Like starting Friday, only those in school or working will have cell service and WiFi. Then stick to it!! Let him see you mean it!
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The man you raised is a reflection of you… get tough, kick him out, he will learn
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That’s because you allow him to do that, here’s an even better idea ship his ass off to boot camp.
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All I can say is Good Luck! 
Tough love…show him what that is tell him he has a few weeks left to either get a job or move out and be on his own once he’s 18 he has rules in your house to follow if he steals don’t leave anything around if he doesn’t move and get a job have him removed tell him he has to man up . Seems to me he’s found excuses wonder from whom…be strong momma and put your foot down and hard he needs to get his own life together. He will find a woman that enables him if he doesn’t get off his ass
Hugs mama I feel for ya …I’m in a similar situation …not as severe but my twins are 16 and very entitled and disrespectful alot …it’s very draining I wish I had good advice but all I can offer is prayers n hugs cause I haven’t found a solution yet
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Give him a 30 day notice and kick him out of your house once he turns 18. If he has no place to go send him to your local recruiting office. But you might want to go there first yourself and ask one of them for help. I had a friend who went thru the same thing. The recruiter showed at her place every morning the kid went to school everyday changed his way actually graduated and joined the navy. Safe to say he turned out to be a very respectful loving person.
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At 18 he can b removed if he’s violent
First… don’t give him ANY money
Go to Goidwill… or other thrift store
Buy him a suitcase. Give it to him on his 18th birthday. Tell him to pack and get out.
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Sorry Mama😭 I would definitely try to have a heart to heart and try to listen instead of fixing. It’s hard but you have to realize you are enabling him and draw the line and stick to it. Don’t feel bad or let up! Give him a timeline to get a job if he doesn’t he goes. Stick to it! Meanwhile he will clean up after himself and be respectful and productive. If he doesn’t, steals, and/or break things, or is otherwise making you fearful in your own home, call the police and have him locked up.
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It’s sometimes not about that, I think he is overdoing this udulting. But he must also learn that this udulting comes with responsibilities. Once you enforce that two things might happen, angehlela ngezansi or take more responsibility for himself because he thinks umdala manje
Can you move out and live somewhere else? Maybe stay with a family member or friend. Let him fend for himself.
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Why are everyone downing this poor ladies past attitude with her son? She has asked for advise for the situation she finds herself in now. She can not change the past. Please be kind ti people that find the courage to reach out to others. And only give negotive opinions once you have been in same position. And to give my opinion, i think tough love is the hardest, but he does need removing from the house, if you do it before he is 18 you can get some place like social services involved. X
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This doesn’t happen overnight. He didn’t wake up one day and just decide “I think im going to be a lazy asswhole from now on” the time to correct and fix this behavior was years ago. If he is this bad now, its because you let it get that bad. There ain’t nothing gonna save him except a slap in the face from the real world. He’s 17, the time you were given to turn this boy into a capable adult who can be a contributing member of society has expired and you failed the mission.
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Put his ass out. He will survive.
Get an eviction notice throw his ass out he’ll have to find a job and he won’t be able to come home back to you and drive you crazy
I wouldn’t kick him out but I’d remove all privileges. Electricity, food, lifts to & from places. Give him somewhere to stay but make it an empty shell. If he wants to eat and use your electricity and his room he can pay for it. If not he can sit in the dark.
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You need to give him some tough love .Let him see what life is about. Good luck stay strong don’t give in.
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I wouldnt stand for that. If there’s no respect there chuck him out. He doesn’t deserve you in his life.
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Cut him off you aren’t a floor mat
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Time for him to go. He needs a taste of life without his mama
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Give him a ultimatum he either get his shit together when he 18 he has to leave your house let him find out the real world whats really out there he find out
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When hes 18 you kick him out and change the locks. Stop giving him money!! Keep your wallet in a safe if need be. He either goes to school or gets a job if he wants any support.
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tell him either he gets his shit together and gets a job or goes to school (or both) and does stuff around the house otherwise he’s out! ultimatum time mama!!!
Take away the computers and phones give just food tell him those cost money, adults pay their own bills
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