Am I being paranoid or does my new friend want my husband?

Best thing is communication. Talk to your husband. But not in a way where he feels you’re accusing him of anything.

How did you meet her? Could be a possibility that she approached you only to get close to your husband or already was.You should trust your gut, especially if you’ve caught looks between them.Ask your husband how he feels about her and her about him,make sure they keep eye contact when they tell you.There could be something going on or could become a possibility, probably a good idea to put some distance between you and the girl

I would have CCTV cameras installed in the car, house, bedroom etc… Also ask your kids to keep an eye on her for you. Sometimes they pretend like nothings going on infront of you but kids can also see or notice something strange. My workmate and her hubby worked in the same office with me and he brought his kids and hers to the cinema and took off without them. Her kids told her what was going on, that’s how she found out. My workmate and her girlfriend working with us as well were very close family friends, go play sports together, kids hang out together etc. It happens so i would trust my suspicion and do some investigation. Ask neighbours to keep an eye on her too.

My friends husband and I clicked too talked trash and hung out and it was strictly friendly no bs sneaky shit. Our conversation was the same in her presence and out . If anything is going on it will definitely come out soon don’t worry yourself over it and stop entertaining her so much around your husband

My mother in law always tells me have no female friends around your husband ,they smile in your face and will do your husband in a heartbeat .

Maybe you should talk to your husband. Let him know what you’ve seen and how it makes you feel. He may be feeling something, not attraction, but doesn’t want to ruin your friendship because he sees how helpful she is.

It’s foreplay… I wouldn’t be surprised if they already kissed… Or hugged… and then comes sex… watch out…

Confront them both separately. Let her know you got an eye on her and that youre not them one to be playing with. Period.

In my experience with those kind is remove her before she gets him and make sure I keep tabs on her awhile

My sister and her now ex had the same thing basically happen and they are basically married now. Then her ex boyfriend took off with her other friend and they are also basically married now. Not sure if something is wrong with NY sister or he just has horrible taste in guys. But either way, if your gut is telling you something I would end the friendship.

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If ur hubby is 100% for u, he shouldn’t have any defensive or guilty feelings about your concern. Stay close, working THROUGH hard situations will only make your bond closer. Always good to address problems when they’re SMALL. blessings to u both!

Honestly, I’m a chick living in a man’s world an electrician) and I’ve always bonded more with men… for all of my life… more than woman… … … … safe to say I have no friends… because I’m suspicious of other ladies, and I’m not allowed to hang out with guys because of my partner’s own insecurities … I’m pretty lonely and could do with some friends

Id be playing detective and leaving a voice recorder on my phone turned on while I’m out of the room or have a camera hid. Id want to bust them if they were doing anything. You can talk to the friend or husband but most aren’t going to fess up to anything if they are guilty. If they aren’t guilty then you look like a crazy paranoid person. They wouldn’t have to know there’s a recorder or camera around. If nothing is going on then you know you were paranoid and they won’t. Be prepared for what you might hear it see.

If she’s single she just wants him … or possibly you, but the gazing at each other answers that.

Personally I think your being a bit paranoid. If your gonna ditch any friend you catch looking at your man, your gonna end up friendless. Unless your man is uncomfortable with her, then it’s just you.

I went through that. No fun. And then in the end they were actually doing something. Hurts but truth always comes out. :100:

I think the bigger issue here is YOUR HUSBAND’S part in making you feel uncomfortable. Instead of turning on a friend, why not start with the man who vowed his life to yours?

From my experience, I had a neighbor girl that i became super close to her and her kids. When she moved we would drive 45 mins to bring them to our home for the weekend. She came and helped with all my kids birthdays, holidays. Her and my husband got along and always cracked jokes. Was just happy to have someone to be close with. Found out a year later they were having an affair. Follow your gut mama. :heart::heart:

Before anything I wouldn’t gently bring it up to both of them. Period. Then decide

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I’ve seen too many military families torn apart. She needs to exit your world

So if you caught them staring at each other and you end the friendship,is that going to stop him from staring at the next"friend"?

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A woman’s intuition is always right. Don’t have her around your husband because that’s inviting unnecessary temptation even if you trust your husband.

If you trust your husband and you have good communication with him then what is the issue… You should be able to have a conversation with them each but don’t lose the friendship… You might screw up something with each because you just have some jealousy issue and trust issues

You said you get depressed! That may be a huge factor in this whole thing!
If there was evidence of any kind other than a look, I would say she’s got to go! However could it possibly be that you were feeling less than up to par, and just felt there was a look? The reason I say this is I’ve battled with depression for years and it can and does make you hallucinate… I thought for years my sister and husband were having an affair and once I actually got better, I noticed it all stopped. It was truly all in my head because I felt so bad about myself, I worried my sister could take him! But that’s all it was was ME worrying! Maybe talk with your husband and let him know you love them both but you just need reassurance that nothing would ever happen!! Real reassurance!! If he can’t do that for you, then maybe he should go!

Just ask, speak up don’t let it eat you up. If it is something take care of it. If not say sorry I felt uncomfortable and move on. Easy peasy.

Go with your gut. I know at least for me, mine has never been wrong in my almost 34 years on this earth.

Yes. You should cut her off. For her benefit though not yours. Gees what a friend you are.

Honestly it doesn’t matter what any of us say. If you are questioning it, your gut instinct doesn’t lie.

You gotta gut feeling for a reason, don’t deny how you feel. It’s always the ones you THINK won’t do it…

That is how people act when they want to be a “blessing” to your family when all they really want is to sleep with your husband…SMH

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Personally I have never seen anything good about having any women friends get too chummy with you husband…women want what they don’t have…it’s not a trust thing, it’s a women can be sneaky and crafty :woman_shrugging:t2:

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If she makes you feel uncomfortable cut her off period

Tell her how u feel explain to her and if she’s a true friend nothing well happen but definitely confront her

Trust your gut. You can find someone attractive but stop it from gaining momentum. There shouldn’t be things like them staring at each other.

To me if my husband were to cheat I rather know cuz if he’ll do it with her he’d do it with someone else. I rather know if I have toxic people in my life not for me💯 then just try to go on a feeling. Also you should be able to talk to your husband about it.

Whether you trust her or not, I hope you trust your man. Especially being military, he probably is frequently away from home, so if he wanted a side piece, it would be easy to explain his sudden absences. If you trust him, you trust him. If she does come on to him, he should shut that down. He might be afraid to tell you, since he may not want to ruin your friendship. But you have to have trust in him.

Just talk to your husband first, plain and simple. If you don’t communicate how will he know how you feel and you’ll just overthink more and more around any female near him not just her. And if you think the friendship you’re creating will with stand letting her know how you feel next, or yall could hang out without being near your husband for a lil while and see how she reacts, if she tries the ‘you’re crazy’ or asking if the “three of you can hang out” keep your distance and put her ass in check if she asks about being around him

I personally would approach my husband about this, maybe the fact that you let them know you notice it, it will stop.

You said you’ve caught them staring at each other? So does your husband have the same feelings for this girl? Have you spoken with him about it?

Don’t act on it and try to find out. If your that insecure just stop hanging out so often.

Trust your gut and maybe bring it to your husbands attention and see if things change. Maybe bring it to her attention as well and ask her what she thinks of him

I was like okay, no issues…until you said you caught them staring at each other. You need to have a conversation with your husband, not trying to stir the pot, but if you trust your husband you wouldn’t be here asking for advice. Secondly, your problem would be with your husband, not her if she is inappropriate.

Trust your guy 100%. My gut has never failed me when it comes to this stuff.

I feel like you should just talk to your husband. If you still feel that way then maybe cut her off. But at the end of the day your feelings are valid. It’s your husband and your family, why waste time with being unhappy? Are you like this with all females or just her? Bc that makes a difference too. If it’s all women then chill lol.

I agree I would say something to her sounds to me as if she’s trying to hard but I was always told it takes two to tango sounds like your man is hiding something if he was mine I would be buying him a one way ticket to fly southwest :joy::joy::joy::joy:

I would set up tests before I cut her off but I’m able to say this so level headed because it’s not actually happening to me, I would have probably busted her up pretty good when I caught them staring! Best of luck to you momma!

Trust your gut! It never lies. But give a person a rope and they will hang themselves and then deal with it after that. But even if you cut ties with her, who’s to say she want try to contact him via text or fb messenger?!

Talk to them both tell them its making you uncomfortable stop it before it leads to something…trust your feelings

Trust your gut. My best friend of 21 years slept with my ex while I was on vacation. I had to hear it from coworkers and her daughter telling me about how she walked in on them. It destroyed me as a person and I couldn’t face reality for awhile. I moved on they moved in together bought a home new vehicles and 6 yrs into their relationship. She told him she didn’t know what she wanted. So he left. They both messaged me saying they were sorry and he was telling me how much he still loved me and that he screwed up. So I said boy did you ever. I sent him a picture of myself with my now husband and all of the things I’ve accomplished and I sent him a picture of my trash can. :see_no_evil: Lol I told her off I asked her if she expected me to just forgive her and have bestie hangouts and stuff since their no longer together and that I went 6 yrs without them both in my life and I can spend a lifetime without them. But that o forgave her years ago because if I didnt. I’d of let them win and I’d of been a bitter b!+ch. Might wanna check them both.

Become poly and invite her into a triad and be an actual family?

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Coming from a military spouse…distance yourself from this friendship. Maybe meet out for coffee etc. Trust your instincts.

That’s the way I lost my first husband to my so-called friend

Your instincts are never wrong. Do not trust that situation

Set up a hidden camera and act like something came up and leave for 20-30 mins…see for yourself…I would like to think if u asked him he would be honest but it may just make him be more sneaky if something is up. Trust your gut…and if u do ask him about it pay attention to how he reacts.

Talk to your husband first and then the friend and then the both of them together. Cut that shit out if you value her friendship… If those conversations still lead you with a bad feeling cut the friend out or cut the husband out because honestly you don’t need to question his trust. This friend might just be the best thing that ever happened to you revealing that he has a wandering eye and if it were a woman outside of your sight you wouldn’t notice or know how far they went

If you’re uncomfortable, I’d start cutting the friendship off.

Nope you’re not paranoid. Create boundaries and agree to meet her away from your home.

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You have that feeling for a reason. Don’t just push it away…

Here’s what ya do. Leave them alone for a minute, make believe you’re going to the store or something not out of character for you , then pop back in a few minutes later “unexpectedly” you should know something from their reactions or whatever. Keep it quiet and continue watching, and setting them up :+1:t2::grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:
And trust NO ONE !

It’s hard to stop/deny attraction. Physical attraction especially. But if they’re not doing anything disrespectful or fishy, then I think you should allow them the trust.

Be straight forward ask them both tell them how u feel

If they’ve never given you a reason to not trust them then try giving at least your husband the benefit of the doubt. Would you rather her not like your husband and not get along with him ?

No, no, no. Who is always having the affair with the husband? The best friend!!! Trust your gut, talk to your hubs and keep your eyes open.

I’m a firm believer in following your gut. If you feel something is off, something is off.

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You should have no problems if you trust your man and if she did come on to him do you trust him enough tk tell you? So if you get rid of the friend then get rid of the husband as well because you dont trust him .I think I wouldnt trust either of them kick her ass pack his bags and send them lut to the curb where all the trash should be…Just giving you both sides to think about Good luck

How do you feel about this statement? “I have caught them staring at each other a few times.” What is your gut telling you?

If you have those feelings then you probably aren’t imagining it.

Does she have a significant other? Have you talked about your concerns to your husband?

sounds like a question , that you already have the answer to, but just need confirmation…put a lot of distance from your “friend”?

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A wolf is good at hiding in a sheep’s clothing especially when she’s done it so many times listen cut her off let me find a female staring at my man I’d be playing jump rope with her fallopian tubes!!!

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Go with your intuition it’s usually right! You know that!

Maybe discuss your concerns with him?

But then on the other side, if you have a feeling about it. There’s a reason for it.

Can you talk to her? The same way you just explained it to us.

Be very careful of who you bring into your home

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Not if they’re staring at each other​:roll_eyes::unamused: stop hanging with her, the more he sees her, the more he’ll like her. Or at least just make your hang outs without him around (girls night out, etc.).

Say adios then make rules,boundries for the future.
We’re supposed to flee temptations, hes playing it too…if u caught them both eyeing one another he just proved he cnt be trusted…

Sounds like sister wife vibes to me, would you be open to a poly relationship???

Trust your gut !!
Don’t accuse make him hostile .I’d just make excuses for not having her involved ,
See how he reacts to you not wanting her around so much ,
Does she have a husband ?

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If they are staring at each other, there is something going on

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People will always feel attractions; however, it’s when that line gets crossed.

Just have a big three some to get any sexual tension out the way :crazy_face::face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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Unpopular opinion… I want to say “trust your gut” but I have one friend and one family member who had similar thoughts both ended up unfounded. I just can’t advise you lose a great friend if it’s innocent. I am also a black sheep I that I am ok with opposite gender friends because my husband and I are solid and work as a team… In would say keep an eye on it because right now all you have is what you believe to be inappropriate glances…

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Honestly. Cut that new friend out.you may trust him, but suga how far you gonna let that trust go? She may make an opportunity out of ANYTHING

If this isn’t a typical feeling then yes your instinct is telling you something.

Im pretty sure EVERYONE that ask questions to be posted on this forum is childish, niaeve, insecure and crazy. I just can’t with the questions posted here. Whoever filters through the questions that are posted needs to be fired. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

Your hubby shouldn’t be putting you in this situation.

Where is her man? How is their relationship?

Maybe it’s a simple attraction
Obviously it’s uncomfortable for you

ask yourself if your suspicions are valid. As in, are they based in behavior on either of their part or any reason to believe they are not trustworthy?

do you have any reason to believe that on the off-chance she were to make her interest known to your husband, that he would allow it? Or do you feel confident that he would set firm boundaries?

here’s the thing. I am a cisgender woman who gets along with pretty much everybody. And I have had so many people tell me I can’t be around them or I can’t be around their husband because their husbands ( or warn other women about me) that I get along with

I’m not trying to fk your husband, people. just because I find him an interesting and entertaining friend does not mean I want his dick

having the capacity to be sexually attracted to your spouse does not mean

  1. that I even am

or

  1. that I would even dream of doing anything about it or even making it known

do you have a reason that is based on their behavior or trustworthiness level to believe that there is anything sexualized in their relationship? Or is it your own insecurities talking? There is no judgment, but you need to figure it out

because it is completely unfair to act suspicious of them if they have given you no reason other than your own insecurities

insecurity is valid. There is no judgment for having insecurities. All feelings are valid.

It just depends on what you do with them

Communication goes a long way. In all types of relationships. Talk about your feelings with your husband.

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Do they have personal texts between the two of them? Always ALWAYS trust your gut mama

Or maybe she has a thing for you…

Maybe something already happened the hubby may have done got the friends pie reason you feeling the way you do

Women’s intuition for a reason!

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Let me tell you… I don’t exactly get why people think they need friends… I have 1 friend who I’ve known for 15 + years and she’s the only one who I bring around my family. And we hangout once every 3 months. We talk here and there… I feel all men can be dogs at one point in their life. You’re basically having meat around a dog hun. Get rid of her!

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Go with your gut momma :heart:

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IF you Feel like something is going on, then TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!

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You said it! I can not shake this feeling! Trust yourself!

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Trust your instincts, first and foremost.

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They may be having an emotional affair. I’d trust your gut, sorry you are feeling this way

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