Can you relax a little.And stop being too demanding.Allow the grown mansome space
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Here’s my ole lady advice, meant with the best of intentions. Sometimes we need to hear the harsh truth.1st of your resentment is not natural, it is childish. Your insecurities are your problem not his, so you deal with them. Could he be cheating… Of course he COULD be, so COULD you. But one things for sure, you keep borrowing trouble, you will get it. You don’t need to know who he sees or who he works out with, you are not his keeper or his master. Either you trust or you don’t, if you don’t, well the end of the story is already determined. As far as him working extra so that you can have more for his family…the bastard!!! You need to Lear how to be a grown up and deal with issues instead of looking for dirty deeds behind every day adult decisions. You need to step up before you create the situation you are painting in your head, seek counseling for your issues. Because regardless of his choices, your insecurity is your problem. Good luck, big hugs and I hope you don’t create what you fear.
Well he mustn’t be getting much if he has to watch porn 
Leave and find someone else 
or leave and be alone. Shouldn’t be in a relationship if you’re THAT insecure about everything he does
Asista a una terapeuta de pareja!.
Why does the burden of taking care of 3 kids, holding down the house & working all fall on your shoulders while he just gets to work and go to the gym? That makes you single married and lonely. He is being selfish & using finances as an excuse to get his way. Stay woke!
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Go with your gut.
It knows what’s up before you do.
For your confidence I suggest doing fun activities with the little ones. As I know doing things on your own could be harder. Listen to them try one activity they each wanna try (you never know you might like it)
Be strong for you babes no one else can do that for ya
You know sometime a husband needs his own space…Maybe he enjoys having his own time and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you he would prefer to work out at the gym by himself.
I would give him his space.
If he is messing around on you you will eventually fine out in due time…
It’s ok to be concerned it’s ok to wonder
But it’s yourself you are making it hard on.
Don’t worry till you have something to worry about if he is doing you wrong he will end up hanging himself and telling on himself,they all do…
So hey let him play how he wants right now,give him his space and you take your space…
How long have you been married?
Don’t worry,be happy.
And enjoy your life
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Truthfully, I’d say there’s something more going on. Unless you’re unreasonably paranoid, usually our guts tell us things for a reason. My boyfriend was doing very similar and I really didn’t suspect much, although I was getting little twinges of “that’s odd” once in a while. Then I found out he was on dating apps…so…if your instincts are saying something is weird, maybe it is. Have someone watch the kids one morning and then go to that gym and see for yourself. If he can go there, so can you.
You have to let him know how you feel. If he cannot understand then I think you need to seek counselling. A quality family life is very important and happy parents are also important…together you have to figure out priorities. I personally think it is a lot to deal with…the working far away and not making the effort to go to the gym with you…and then adding a shift change to that too…I would feel neglected too I think…In a relationship there always have to be compromises…but it isn’t fair for one partner to always take it on the chin. Good luck❤
Marriage counseling could do wonders. You both are extremely stressed and he really could be going to the gym alone because he just doesn’t want to be around you and the kids. He’s trying to get away from the stress of home and the gym is probably where he feels the most in control of his life. And really it comes down to communication. Let him tell you of his problems and you of yours in a healthy way. Maybe he feels like he’s failing you and can’t tell you because he’s trying to take control of it so you don’t have to worry. There’s just so much that could be going on his head and your mind wants to go to the worst thoughts.
Ps. If he’s planning on leaving you, working for dreams means nothing. He’s probably working toward a divorce lawyer so find out the truth asap. Something is definitely off.
Just trust him thats all u need. Love him with all that u can never expect in return because its you that is giving the the love, its its yourself that u Express that all dear and know that God is the most powerful to do his way if really he want both of you to be together forever
Stop telling this woman that’s she’s too clingy or that she’s crazy. Girl trust ur gut instincts. Our subconscious picks up on things we choose not to acknowledge. If he’s hiding porn and it’s already replacing ur sex life and now he’s taken a job, without discussing with u, where u will never have time together… It doesn’t feel right. Also his relationship with the kids will suffer but money is his most important priority? Idk maybe I’m reading this wrong. I hope so.
Get up early and go to the gym with him! Where there’s a will there’s a way. Show him being together means so much you’ll get up early to be with him. Between shifts bring him dinner. An hour drive is nothing if you truly want to be with him. If he says No, don’t do it, then just show up.
I think you need someone to talk to. I understand that you care, but you need to work on yourself before you go jumping conclusions. In the end if it is true, youll be more put together. But some things out of your control shouldn’t be concerning. In one sense you’re pushing him away as you try to keep him. In the end it always concerns your well being. Focus on whatever it is that makes you happy and fullfil that. Your happiness matters. Don’t drive yourself crazy.
Have a talk with him. It sounds like what you need is more time set aside for the two of you. Ask him if he has any ideas how to make that work. Tell him you miss going to the gym together. Express how you feel. If he can’t find any middle ground after an open discussion and you telling him what you need, that’s when you should be concerned.
All depends on attitudes and commitment! Marriage is give and take if both of you are able to give and take you will be fine. If one of you is just a taker then it will fall apart.
Having experienced something similar (including the excessive watching of porn), I would say…cyber stalk him. Check his email, internet activity & phone records. Even follow him. My ex tried to gaslight me…according to him, I was crazy. Turns out, I was correct. He even had a keystroke logger on the computer (so he could see what I was doing) & a 2nd phone. If you find something, stay silent and prepare for the upcoming battle. Collect proof & hide money before you confront him.
You did not have three children with the intent to parent alone. You two need a neutral counselor. Let him choose the counselor…
You are not feeling fulfilled. You’re telling yourself that it’s his long commute, porn, different gym, etc, but it’s sounding like the real issue is you’re not feeling fulfilled.
You’re not being insecure and clingy. Your intuition is telling you that something is broken and you know that broken pieces can lead to bigger problems down the road.
You both need to be on the same page for either of you to be fulfilled. Make a decision as to whether or not it’s worth it to continue living the way you are. If it is, then start to be happy with who he is NOW. If you can’t see yourself going down this current path 5, 10, 20 years, or forever, then plan to exit the relationship. That’s it. No resentment necessary. Just decide if this is what you’re ok with if it truly is as good as it gets.
Wake up honey. I bet you don’t look as good as you did before the kids. What’s that 5-10 years ago? You better let him watch the porn and do oral while he’s watching while you still can. Hate to say it but your days are numbered.
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Get up some morning and follow him to the gym and see for yourself.
Hire a private investigator to follow him. See what he is doing and get the piece of mind you need.
The only thing I’ve ever regretted was not trusting my gut!
Either you trust him or you don’t Move to where he works
Take a day off and follow him. You will get your answers. Overthinking will kill you.
Oh! Oh! “He’s Cheating Heart” will tell on him!
Selfish… nah
Childish is more accurate
You’re resentful over an hour drive ? And going to another gym ? If I was him I’d run !
Hahahahahahahaha! Oh please lady grow up and quit thinking to much.
He’s probably cheating on you, next?
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What a shame that a grown woman needs to be entertained. YES, Selfish and narcissistic.
I can’t be the only person who doesn’t think this is suspicious? If they ever want their dream life or to eventually be able to work better hours or see each other more, he has to put in more work to make sure that happens? To me this is just a case of her being way too insecure and should see a therapist
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Sis you’re insecure and you need to figure out why. Seek therapy. Also, you have a problem with your husband watching porn??? Address that in therapy too.
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Youre both already working all kinds of crazy hours.
What “Lifestyle” do yo want to afford? A bigger house that stands empty while everyone is always working? A flash car in your employer’s employee parking lot?
If it is short term to have a meaningfull benifit, embrace it, and support each other.
If it is just vanity… I’m afraid you are doomed before any of this started…
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Kids.
3 children.
Family time.
Cats in a cradle.
Missing the biggest and most important time in their lives.
No amount of $ is worth missing out on taking part of their lives.
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Maybe quit your job since “we would never see each other during the week because of my work schedule” and find a job more compatible with his schedule. Maybe in the same town as his work, then you can go to the gym with him. I feel like you’re being very selfish and unwilling to compromise since it inconveniences you, also it’s porn. Let him watch it if he wants to; maybe try to find some porn you like and watch it with him. Do it together so he won’t hide things from you.
Money and things are NOT everything. You can have houses and cars and give your kids everything they want. And at the end of the day everyone is tired and miserable, especially working different shifts.
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I’m in the minority here. Do the detective work. Borrow a car, follow him, track his car, look at his computer and phone, etc… Women have radar and if you think something is wrong, it just might be. He isn’t living up to his duties as a husband if you don’t feel like you’re equal partners. Lastly, counseling for you to start, then couples. Good luck.
Counseling is in order if you both want it to work. I wouldn’t call it selfish but you may be creating a scenario that doesn’t exist. It sounds like he is doing what is best for the family.
Sort of sounds like he is making a transition to a different thing but doesn’t want to just come right out and do it.
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Money cant replace spending time with his family. If he’s set on it, try it awhile see if your intuition tell you he has the smell of another gal all over him. He would start being a little off if you know what I mean if its a homewrecker. It seems from her post that he may have come close to the fire already. Just my take.
So he takes a job that further away for more money and wants to work night for more money, and somehow that leads to possible cheating? What he is doing seems to be beneficial for the “dreams” and " way of life" that poster mentions, those don’t happen without sacrifice.
This son of Adam and Eve is now a gone case his mind is distracted some where though his body is still in your house …hooo keep your mind strong and prepared. These creatures called men can dissapoint !
Ask him for a time frame of the work changes. Sit down together and map out how long it will take, when you will have your family time, what support he is willing to put in place for you in lieu of the extra time you’ll be spending managing the family without him (ie house cleaner). Sacrifice is hard but good sometimes. If he didn’t make this change, how would you meet your goals as a family?
There are probably many pro bono private investigators who’d love to make sure he’s being honest and loyal.
You keep going on about cheating. That kind of insecurity doesn’t come from scheduling or separation. Look at other behaviors that may make you feel this way. I have always known deep down when I was cheated on.
Go with your gut, it’s usually right!
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If you think you have a problem…You probably Do…
Listen to your gut…Watching porn is a Gateway Drug…Try marriage Counseling…you can go by yourself at first…We had a similar problem…
Lol I see nothing wrong with what he’s doing. For nearly 3yrs I worked 2hrs away. So I spent 4hrs driving each day, and my wife worked swing shifts. We only saw each other awake for about 2hrs on weekdays. If you can’t learn to work around the inconvenience and trust the guy, then that’s a you problem. Also there’s nothing wrong with porn.
Your instincts telling you something is not right. So follow him to the gym than you know. If you want to know I think he got somebody else .
Tbh lots of people’s partners work away Monday to Friday. You’re over thinking it. And if you can’t talk to your husband about stuff, your marriage is already over
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So a man is working harder and driving more each week to make his familys dream come true and thats a bad thing? Why don’t you just let him be unemployed on benefits and you’ll have him all to yourself 24/7. Double fucking standards.
Trusts you’re instincts my husband always said I was physic it’s probably what saved our marriage.
Sounds like he wants to provide for his family .
Routine is great but sometimes convenience is better for people.
Porn soils your mind in many ways………you got the cards laid out in front of you…….you know what to do.
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Jesus. Maybe he just wants to keep fit and get money to give u what you want? Why be insecure and think hes cheating? 
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You aren’t losing him he’s lost…
Get out while you can
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Talk to him about your worries & not FB!
Lol sorry. Yeah y’all needs space to yourself sometimes. Y’all don’t need to see each other daily.
It kind of seems like you are trying to control alot of situations and its making him resentful.
He should run as far away from you as possible.
So he’s earning more money to support his family and time management means going to a different gym to coincide with his work schedule. And u have a problem? Get 9ber yourself u clingon from star trek. My old man worked 60 hrs plus a week growing up while mum worked days. They had 1 day a week together plus dad would work extra shifts in order to rack up more annual leave and would take a week.of here and there throughout the year to solely spend it with us kids and mum.
Nowadays hes about to retire but has amassed enough money from working so much to buy me and my sister a house each . Thier own home and a couple of apartments as an invesment . Not once dis my mum whinge and rantt over his sacrifices.
Like, I see a cheater here, sorry, but it seems like a blaring horn…cheater.
Go to couple therapy.
Let a man earn his living.
I’d change your work schedule to work nights too if possible
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You some toxic ass bitches in this comment section lol
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What are your thoughts babe? Cila Rodriguez
What if you did this would he approve?
Follow him and get the real story
You sound needy and clingy. Maybe he wants a little less of that. The other gym might give him some personal space. The job is obviously for growth that you both want.
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I’m not reading all of that but I’m happy for you or sorry that happened
it’s an hour away geez get over it . yes your being selfish , maybe you need to get a job and not worry about the gym and he won’t have to work crazy hours to make more money for your lifestyle … maybe try getting up at 3-4 am when he does and go to the gym with him .
Try and take your mind off all the insecurities you have. Trust is 1 of the key problems that will destroy a marriage. Financial problems is also a key problem. If you both are working together for your life together, and continue to keep no secrets from each other. You will continue to have a happy life together.
This coming from a happily married woman of a man that has worked mainly on the road our entire 36 years of life together, only seeing each other on our days off together. Which were few and far between because I was in health-care working a rotating schedule.
We now are beginning our retirement together happily and financially stress free.
Well wishes for you to have the same!
You sound like a toxic ass woman. He’s out busting his ass and you’re calling him a cheater all I hear is “me, me, me” he needs to leave you.
I am so glad I’m single.
IJS.
Sounds fishy to me!!
Maybe he just needs personal space.
It’s like reading my story… The end
Everybody talking down to her calling her insecure and clingy and all that really must be so proud of themselves must be nice to have never doubted yourself or had your partner do something that hurt you. I would personally go with your gut. I ignored mine fore two years and when my daughter was 4 months old I found out that he had been married the entire time. And was still telling her he was looking for work close to home so he could move back home with her. All the times he had “family emergencies or funerals” where he didn’t want me to go because “his family was toxic and mean” was him going to spend time with her. Also none of you are apparently considering that maybe it’s his actions making her insecure and not her insecurities causing his actions. Everyone wants to blame the women for men deciding to be douchebags
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Watch him closely and get set to vacate!
Watch what he’s doing ?
If a couple of more dollars an hour will make your dreams come true, your dreams aren’t that far out of reach. It’s only about $320 per month. If that is all you need to make your dreams come true, it’s not worth him putting a big dent in your marriage.
The two of you could sale ice cream in the park or something on your days off and make more than that. Plus, you can do that with him and the whole family.
If he wants to exercise in the morning on his way to work, get up and go with him to your neighborhood gym. If he outright refuses or has a problem earning extra money outside of his job so his can spend more time with his family and if he has a problem with you and him exercising in the morning together at your neighborhood gym, then you probably really do have something to be concerned about.
Irah Syahirah familiar story
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So you want the money so you can live the good live he can give you.
But because he’s sacrificing his comfort and time and him spending time with you so he can provide the financial life you want you made it all about all these negatives that are happening to you.
Never once mentioning what he’s giving up to give the family the financial live you want.
That’s pathetic.
He’s losing 2 plus hours due to driving time.
He now works nites and doesn’t see you or kids as much.
You make a big deal about him choosing a different gym cause it’s easier. Maybe cause that lets him spend time with you and kids.
Why don’t you think about what he’s sacrificing to give you the financial life you and kids want instead of automatically thinking the worst of him. I mean you never even mentioned her would miss all the kids stuff.
It was all about you.
Your selfish as hell.
You’re overthinking it, he’s trying to better himself and provide for his family. Acting resentful towards him for that WILL make you lose him.
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You should probably break up. He doesn’t deserve to be working hard for a woman that feels this way. Let him go if you can’t just accept and appreciate him.
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It sounds like he wants to provide for his family and you’re reading too much into it. Your feelings are valid and you should try to work out a solution that makes you both happy. I’d be careful though bc by being suspicious of him, you may end up pushing him away.
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Sounds extra sus and cheaty to me 
I’m your Huckleberry
As a Couple, deciding how much of a lifestyle, vs time with family should of been decided on the front end conversation of your relationship.
Now with three children depending on full in parents,
time with family becomes pretty mandatory.
My advice, for what it’s worth, is empower yourself to be more emotionally and financially independent.
Start taking charge of your life and independence.
Define your life and your children in your own terms and not at the whim or mercy of a man that may or may not have time for you and the children.
Start thinking about, how you and the children become secure, strong and in control of the future.
Because your woman intuition can usually be right on.
So get it together girl and start taking care of business for you and your children!
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I’ve worked hours away from my spouse and opposite shift as him… it’s hard and not getting to see or spend time with one another was difficult but it you really want to make it work then you can. Both sides have to be committed. Is the placement temporary or permanent? If it is temporary then I would hold on, and try to make things work. Sometimes to get the things you want in life you have to settle with long hours and time apart. Also sometimes finding gyms and stuff closer to work is just easier no alternative motive behind it. Sounds like y’all have deeper issues, if you can’t trust your partner then there’s a problem. Whether it’s bc he isn’t trustworthy or bc you’re insecure. Regardless y’all need to have a discussion and get to the root of that problem and try to fix it. You’ve communicated how you’ve felt but did he actually listen and take in what you were saying and you do the same for him? A lot of times communication problems between partners can cause a strain. I communicated to my partner how I felt so many times but until I actually put it into a way he could understand he never really got it.
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Stop wondering and start following him…Id bet my house hes cheating, all the signs are there and its not you being insecure. A woman knows from the treatment in the bedroom and the closeness is failing that her man is up to no good. Hire someone to look into it now if you cant and if he is start making a plan for your future if the marriage is over.
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My husband and I are on opposite shifts, don’t have days off together, and we don’t really do anything but the occasional grocery shopping together and we are stronger than ever. We like our time apart and love our time together even more so. I make his lunches and he brings me cute little things home and that’s how we show our love. When we have time together he is either sleeping for work or playing his games. You don’t have to be with each other 24/7 and know EVERYTHING that one another are doing. If he goes and does something he enjoys, I cheer him on. We both need our own things and we still have such a strong relationship.
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Some men have the idea that providing for their family trumps having quality time with their spouse or family. Not that there is a balance to life when you choose to marry and have kids.
See if this is how he thinks. He could be doing something shady,but you have to ask him how he’s feeling,not just tell him how you are feeling.
Distance is not an issue,but time management and lack of accountability is.
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Sounds like you have trust issues.
My husband is a truck driver and is gone all week Mon-Fri and I trust him completely. But then again he don’t watch porn. That’s a big red flag to me. Something wrong with a man that needs to watch porn. Especially a married man with 3 kids. I personally couldn’t deal with that!!
But all the other info you gave is good. He cares about his health and staying in shape he works and strives to earn more so you and your family can afford the things you need.
All I know is communication & trust & respect for one another is key.
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Hes fuckin someone else