Am I being to hard with my 16 yrs old son?

My son works and goes to school. He’s off from school at 2:30 pm and usually starts working at 3pm … he makes 40 hrs weekly and sometimes more during school break he asked for all those hrs I don’t mind the longest he doesn’t get behind school. He is fairly passing and I’m not hard I know he is trying and he doesn’t like school but it was a condition I gave him that I want passing grades to be aloud to work. My question is here we are moving form a 2 bedroom to a 3 bedroom one for my 10/12 yrs girls the other one for my 7 yr and him and the other one for myself and husband. My oldest asked to have his own room. I told him he can but will be paying for his room a $400 we leave in California and a house rent can be around $3,000 and more and you need to pay utilities, water. And trash. His plans for a car is getting it from a dealership his goal for monthly payments is $350. Right now he does pays for his own phone service $60 and does gives me $150 weekly on his own not because we asked him too do it. Everything else goes to his savings we open a back account for him that he only have access to. He doesn’t want to pay the room I told him it’s ok but he’s 7yr brother will be sharing room with him. He told me that’s a lot and plus he will be paying his car. And that he also wants to keep giving the 150 weekly I told him he doesn’t need to do that but the room rent is a must and if he can’t keep paying then his sibling will be move back in, he got a little upset and told me why does he need to pay for his room I told him that having a own room is a privilege he is giving to himself because we can’t afford to get a bigger place to give each kid their own room. And I understand he needs his privacy but the girls do too and one girl will be soon 13 in a few months. He told me he is only 16 and will be having a big responsibility I told him his having does responsibilities because he wants to not forced. All I want him is to know he can’t depend on us all the time and if he wants things like that then he would have to work for it. Since he doesn’t like school that much and he doesn’t have much plans going to college but only to trade school I want him to know that life is hard… we feed him I take him to school pick him and from work as well on his day off I also take him to his friends house or where they plan to hang for lunch and I don’t asked for gas. I give them rides every where I wash his clothes all that mom duties and as parents. He is not a bad kid he still ask for permission and gets home at the time he is ask if he’s being late be calls me to let me know. I know he deserves it but dads said if he wants the own room pay the room rent and if not it’s find, but his brother will be move in the room… and well he is not very clean on his area on bed either I always struggle having him to pick up his dirty clothes or school backpack I know all kids do that but I don’t want him to feel because he is paying a room he can do what he’s pleased I’m already struggling with him to throw the trash or do his bed simple things, he gets it done but takes forever and a constantly reminder. He does not bad talks to me not once. I know it’s along paragraph am I wrong?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I being to hard with my 16 yrs old son?

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You charge your teenage son, that’s not cool.

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I could never charge my kid rent, my daughter is in college and still comes home to her own room and I would never think about charging, especially under 18, you had the kids it’s your responsibility to provide, not make them provide at such a young age sheesh

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I just can’t. You seriously considering making a child pay rent?
You need money management before him

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If he’s paying you 150 a week already he’s paying well over the 400 you are charging him for a room right?

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I could never ever charge my precious children no matter how old they are!

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Really? I could see if he was 18 but dang

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Oh man that is so wrong to.charge your son rent you should be ashamed of yourself. Wow just wow. He didn’t ask to be born. If you have to you and your husband needs to get another job.

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Boy am I glad you were not my mother growing up he’s a teenage boy and you want him to share a room with a minor hahaha. He sounds pretty damn mature and level headed too me.

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You must be joking. This is ridiculous.

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At the age 16 pay rent, wow.

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I can’t even say what I want to say :woman_facepalming:

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I have a 16 year old that works and I would never ever think about charging her for rent no matter how hard it is on me he is your child you don’t charge your child rent you decided to have him you are responsible for him end of story

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I wouldnt charge my child at 16 instead i would have them put that money in a saving account to help them when they are older life is hard enough i understand what u r trying to teach him i just think there is a better way to help him later on in life and i feel u want that money more for your self

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No. Just no. I could never do my kids this way.

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I didn’t even finish reading this because I’m irritated. You have a very hard working son who is out of kindness already giving you money and you won’t let him have his own room? I’m sorry but I think a boy having their own room is a bigger deal than girls. Not to mention he’s the oldest. Why do the girls need a separate room? He’s literally 16 going to school and working full time. You are gonna push him away and I wouldn’t blame him for resenting you for this.

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I could see if he was 18 charging him money but he’s still a child and the burden of bills should never be on your children.

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He’s 16. Why would he be paying his parent to provide for him

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He’s ur child not ur roommate, I could understand if he was a grown ass man mooching off you but he isn’t… he’s trying to set himself up for success and ur not helping him by charging money cause your moving somewhere else that cost more. That’s not his responsibility that’s urs as parents 🤦

You’re mean. And that’s so wrong.

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He’s already giving you 150 a week that’s 600 a month and your asking for more that’s ridiculous he’s going to school, working and already paying enough at 16 years old.

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I don’t understand why you would do this?? It is your responsibility until they move out. I just cannot even wrap my brain around it… Also if your going to charge for the room than he should be treated as a roommate… :woman_shrugging:

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He sounds like a great, hard working kid. Sounds like alot of financial responsibility when he is already doing great in school and working. I think charging him is way too much on top of all the other responsibilities he has. You should already be happy he is so responsible and a great kid.

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He’s 16 and u want him to PAY RENT because he wants his own room? This HAS to be a joke right? Right!? You’re wacked. Just sayin. So u want 250 a week from him cuz he already gives you 150? Greedy much?

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This is absurd. If he were over 18 and lacked any initiative- maybe. But he’s sixteen, going to school, and working full time!!! It honestly makes me really sad for him. And how can you be after him about passing grades when he’s working 40 hours a week?! Seems like the better option would be for him to cut back on work and you and your husband actually provide for him until he turns 18🤷🏻‍♀️

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I think that’s messed up. He seems like he has a good head on his shoulders and your taking advantage of it.

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You wanna make your 16 year old son pay rent?!? WTF!? He’s a KID

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I couldn’t charge my son. I see why he would want privacy since he is 16 and his brother is only 7. But where would the 7 year old stay if not in the room with his brother?

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Just use the $150 weekly he’s giving you to cover it. He sounds like a sweet kid, hard to find that these days. Especially a teenage boy.

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I would never make my child pay rent. I would have him pay his cellphone bill, his car insurance but I would never charge my 16 year old child to live at home.

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WTH. He is already voluntarily giving you $150 a week for no reason he should be putting that in savings. What patent charges their child rent? Put the $150 into a savings account and give it back to him when he moves out!

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When they are in highschool no rent they are your responsibility.
For age difference that’s on the parents too

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I think this is way too harsh. No school aged child should have to pay rent in my opinion. And they shouldn’t have to share a room with someone so much younger… at 16 they need space for sure.

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I can’t believe you accept150 a week and now want rent! It’s not his job to pay your bills. You should be happy he works , is respectful and continues to do well in school.

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Wow. Most parents would kill for a teenager with such an incredible work ethic and for tolerating your crap! He’s a minor, he’s 16, he’s in high school, give home a break!

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Working full time at 16 and full time school is going to burn that boy out so fast. I’m surprised he is mentally still hanging on without exhibiting anxiety or depression. That is excessive.

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Why should he pay rent at 16?! He didn’t ask to be brought into this world.

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He’s 16!!! Wow! No words

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My 20 year old daughter just moved out because she has a good nursing job and can afford everything. But when she did like at home the only thing she had to pay for was her expensive clothes and shoes

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I feel like he will be in debt before he’s even an adult… I personally want to set my kids up for adulthood. My mother did things like that to me when I was young and in high school, and once I turned 18 and became an adult, I was not in a good place financially because of the things my mother wanted me to pay for while I was trying to figure out life. It was so hard to recover from that.

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He is oldest and should have his own room. Period. And not have to pay RENT!

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What did I just read!!! What is wrong with you charging your underage CHILD to pay for a room!!! Maybe you should give up your room! So your child could have his own! He sounds more responsible than you!!!

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The 150.00 a week more than pays the 400.00 a month. Tell him that’s enough. Why add another 400.00? Let him have his own room and when he leaves the next oldest one will get it.

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You seem like a winner wanting to make ur 16yo pay rent how sad

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That’s crazy!! He’s 16 years old. It’s our responsibility as parents to take care of our kids until they are 18 years old.

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Y’all are wrong for this!

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:unamused::unamused::unamused: So glad you aren’t my parent. Poor kid!

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He is 16. You should be ashamed to even post this

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This is just awful. I feel for your boy. I could never.

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Hes a responsible young man! Already giving his money. Make a stand against dad and say NO more money. That’s not fair to him… your girls are the same age make a divider of some sort.

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This can’t be for real.

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WTH why are you charging your high school son rent. Terrible parenting…greedy and selfish!

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He’s 16 years old. He is a child. He should not be sharing a room with a seven year old and he should definitely not have to pay you to have his own room. You said he already gives you $150 a week. Not cool at all. Poor boy!

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all i said is wow :hushed:when I was 16 I had job and my mom didn’t ask me to pay for a room.

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You’re literally legally obligated to provide him a home until he’s 18. You also shouldn’t expect your teenage boy to share a room with a young child.
If the place you’re moving to has an attic or basement, why not try to renovate one of those into a room for him?
I know California is outrageously expensive in almost every area.

And honestly. What upsets me even more as a mother, is that you’re insulting that he wants to go to a trade school vs get a degree from college. Trade jobs pay very very well and he will likely have an easier life learning a trade than getting a degree.

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We paid rent $150 a month when me and my brothers was younger to show us responsibility’s but when we was ready to move out my parents gave us all of our money back so we would have it to move out on. We didn’t know they was putting it back for us and I’m very grateful that they did.

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He needs his own space and 400 a month is ridiculous especially if he’s already giving you money without you asking

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What did I just read…

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400 is way too much for a 16 year old to pay especially when he is still a minor and you as a parent are still responsible for him…and the money he gives you for no reason then that should go into a savings account for him…. Sorry not sorry

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Y’all are so wrong for this omg. He ain’t even 18 yet!! He has nowhere else to go and y’all are making his life so hard on him

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I would never charge my children rent ever, I don’t care how old they are. How do you expect him to save for when he does move out? You should be ashamed of yourself. Sixteen,going to school, paying rent…that’s insane.

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So very wrong. Almost child abuse !!!

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Wow u so wrong sorry

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I couldn’t even finish reading. Wow….smh

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This has to be a joke, your 16/17 goes to school, works full time, and is considerate and responsible and you want to punish him. Plus it sounds like y’all are dependent on his income than he needs to be on you. And what’s wrong with trade school? with his work ethic he’ll probably make more money in a trade than spending all his money on a useless college degree.

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This is your responsibility. You need to provide and make more hours, don’t expect him as a child to do it.

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Omg this is really bad

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I would not make my 16 year old pay rent to have his own room. :woman_facepalming:t2:

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He’s 16, he should have his own room without having to pay rent for it. Unbelievable.

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What the hell are you even asking… he is already giving you 600 bucks a months and he is 16 ! And you want 400 more I’m sorry but he may as well go fins a room to rent on his own outside of your house sounds like he would end up spending less

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This is one of the most ridiculous posts I have ever read …

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Wow. I’m glad you’re not my mother. Y’all have serious issues. Poor boy.

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A teenager should not share a room with a 7 year old. But also you shouldn’t charge your 16 year old. Period. I know things are tight mama but thats not our babies faults. We gotta figure it out. Make a way.

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He 16 friggin years old. That is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT TO PROVIDE HIM A ROOM. Granted… He may have to share… That’s life. But to charge your 16yr old CHILD $400 in room rent (to have to himself) is absolutely absurd. I would understand the $400 room rent if he DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL. Sounds like you have a extremely responsible teenager, cut him slack before you push that poor kid over the top :cry::cry::cry::cry:

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WOW!! This responsible young man needs to GET OUT!!

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Are you wrong?!?! Yes I think you are. As a parent those are the things you do for your kids. They didn’t choose to be born, you chose to lay on your back and now it sounds like you want to get paid for being a mother. To ask for rent from your own kids is just appalling IMO. Specially while still in school. This blows my mind and I can’t wrap my head around how someone goes about thinking this way.
If he was in college already then maybe but high school? That just sounds like you are choosing to not finish raising a child and now want to benefit financially off his hard work of still being a kid and meet your commands.

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I wouldn’t charge him $400, sounds like he’s already got a lot of responsibilities and he’s been a pretty good hard working kid so far. He’s giving you $150 weekly let that be the room rent. Once he gets a car you won’t have to drive him around all over and that will take so much pressure off you, that in itself would be worth not charging the extra $400.

And I’d encourage him to go into a trade, if that’s what he wants to do, there are more people making good money in trades then some who have gone to college and earned degrees as well as mountains of student debt they can’t pay off. I’d cut the kid some slack. He’s gonna figure out how difficult & expensive life is eventually.

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So having his own room is a privilege because you had more kids than you can afford rooms for, that’s not how that works you’re the one that had all the kids not him.

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Your son sounds amazing doing all those hours work while still going to school. He gives you money already. He shouldn’t have to pay for that room. You say its a privilege to have his own room which i somewhat agree with but then you say his sisters deserve their own rooms. Why do they deserve their own space but he can only have it if he pays for it? Also if you can only afford a bigger house to accommodate him having his own room if he pays you, $400 a month then how will you pay for the house when he leaves home or did i read that wrong?

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If he’s already paying 150 a week, by his choice, that would cover his room fee. Why expect him to pay more at 16 years old?

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He sounds like a good kid! Growing up, we went by age; the oldest got their own room, and my sister and I shared for years, even as teenagers. He is already chipping in by giving you $150, thats alot for a high school kid. Also, just because he is leaning toward trade school doesn’t mean he won’t have a good living; this world is relying on a lot of these trade jobs!

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If he pays for the room, where will the (7) year old be/sleep?
Is it enough room or not?

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You do understand what a parent is correct? He’s 16 he is your dependent so he can depend on you for all his needs, it’s your job as a mother to drive him to school n such. Be happy he is responsible going to school, working, and volunteeringly giving you 150 a week. He’s still a child and I must say a very responsible one. You my friend get the all time stupid parent of the year award.

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If he is laying you 150/WK that you didn’t ask for, ummm hello that is his rent then but that’s ridiculous

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He gives you 150$ a week and you want 400$ more? So basically a thousand dollars a month?

Yes, you are wrong.

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Wait u want rent money on top of the 150 he willing gives u weekly?! And he’s 16? did I just read that right?

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I don’t get how you can charge him anything. He’s being responsible and you want to put him into debt over having his own room. He would do better to move out on his own. As his parent you are responsible for his food and lodging. You shouldn’t be expecting him to pay your way through life.

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The girls can share a room she’s only 13 he’s 16 he definitely needs his own room and you shouldn’t be changing your 16 year old son rent or any other kind of money he didn’t ask to be born it’s your job as his parents to provide for him until he’s 18

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He’s 16 years old he should have his own room and not have to pay for it. Then to basically trick him I tk doing it by saying “oh well your other sibling will be moving in then” that is pretty messed up if you ask me.

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You are responsible for him for his room his ride his food his everything until he is 18.

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You are responsible for providing a roof over his head until he is 18. You charging that much to a 16 year old is ridiculous. He’s trying to get his own car and is already paying his own phone while also giving you $150 a week. You sound like a very selfish mother. I bet he can’t wait to turn 18 and move out of your house.

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I think if he’s willingly paying you 150 a week … that’s already 600 a month… so to ask for 400 only for his own space without the extra money is fair
He’d be paying less but it’s more of a responsibility than willing favor. It’s a small responsibility to help him in the real world.

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Lord :pray: please help the poor boy u a bad mother u just want he’s money

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So he’s already paying 600 a month for nothing and you want 1000/ mth

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ARE YOU FOR REAL??!?!?!?

…HE IS 16!!! YOU ARE HIS PARENT!!! IT IS NOT HIS JOB TO PAY YOUR BILLS!!!
Are you for real!?!? Having his own room is a privilege???
HE NEEDS TO KNOW HE CAN DEPEND ON YOU AT ALL TIMES!!! HE IS A MINOR!!! YOU ARE HIS FREAKING PARENT!!!
You don’t ask for gas?? Oh freakin mother of the year here doin the most!

HE IS A KID!!!
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FREAKING WRONG IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!!!
IF YOU DIDNT WANT KIDS YOU SHOULDNT HAVE HAD THEM!!!
Can’t always depend on you and life is hard. WELL YOURE DOING A GREAT JOB BY NOT HELPING!!! You are supposed to pay his way!

Are you freaking kidding me???
I hope he moves out.

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$150 a week… So 4 times a month… $150x4= $600… He’s been that $400 for awhile now without you even asking

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Be grateful that’s he’s a good kid, working and studying. Encourage that.
Was your choice to have kids, it wasn’t his choice to be born and be taken advantage of by his own mother!

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One you got a pretty amazing sounding kid. If he’s already responsible goes to school and works AND is already respecting his boundaries and asking permission to be out and stuff I think he has a good head on his shoulder and deserves that room and the privilege of doing as he pleases if he pays rent he can treat it as his own. Also that’s a good start for him when he does become and adult in 2 yrs. I’m really hoping you’re telling him the 400 to cut it down from the 600 he’s already giving you out of your big mama heart for him and maybe just need to explain that to him. And in no way should a 7 yr old little boy be rooming with a 16 yr old anyways. Too big of an age gap and the older one is at an age where he needs privacy. He should be getting that space even if he wasn’t working and doing all that responsible things he’s doing. Good luck

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You had him he’s your responsibility I feel so sorry for him I can’t believe you would make him pay for a room that’s super sick he needs to be only working 20 hours a week and you pay for all his stuff how about that ?? Good Lord don’t have so many kids if you can’t pay for them all AND HE DOES NEED HIS OWN ROOM :rage::rage::rage::rage::rage::rage::rage::rage::rage:

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