Am I being unreasonable?

Sounds like you’re experiencing what a lot of working men experience when their wives are “stay at home”.

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I agree with the above comments, if he is staying home then his job is to take care of the house and kids, otherwise he needs to get a job to financially contribute. I’ve been down this road with my husband and I finally had it just put my foot down and kicked him out, after a couple of weeks at his parents him and I talked it out and once he came home things got way better. We try to split the housework and take turns cooking dinner. I hope things get better for you

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Sounds like my ex husband… I think that’s about as much as I can say about this situation… I’m so sorry you are not appreciated for everything you do and taken for granted…

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He can do simple things, he just refuses to do them. He knows you will always do it in the end.

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He sounds like a lazy ass! If he is a stay at home dad, then house work needs to be done! kids entertained dinner done etc. He is taking the right piss out of you I would say!

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Unless you plan on leaving him I don’t think you’ll get him to change. Make meals ahead that he can just throw in the oven and heat. Get frozen family size meals(lasagna, Salisbury steak, enchiladas, etc) and set out canned vegetables he can make with them. Take away the Xbox and change the internet password (obviously you are paying for it, he can’t complain) so he can’t use them when you aren’t home. Maybe he’ll get the hint.

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Well, Beth answered your question. Nothing else to say

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Turn the Internet off or change the password. You’re paying for it. Cook only for your kids. Only do your and your kids laundry.

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Sounds like the first few years with my ex. I would never again be with a man who didn’t work. A man’s job is to provide. If he hasn’t grown up to realize that after two kids, he probably won’t.

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Is he a stay at home dad by choice? Not saying he shouldn’t do what is needed just wondering if he was working before and with all that has been happening if he now is out a job.You don’t say how long it has been this way so I’m wondering If he is use to having any job maybe he’s depressed or just down. Not that he shouldn’t step up because yes he should. You say he started off doing everything but lately it’s changed. I see you are doing all you can and that’s great.

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This is disgusting. I feel as though he is just using you. Tell his lazy Arse to get a job so you don’t have to work and study plus be a full time house cleaner and mum.

Girl hes not your husband hes your third child . Clearly he has no respect for you nor the household . Either he learns how to cook and clean or his butt can get a job and contribute .

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You don’t have a husband you got another kid… Time to kick him out and learn how it feels… Seperate get some space do therapy then if he can grow up allow him back home… Thats some bs there

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My question is, if he wasn’t there with your kid’s, would you ne able to pay for childcare? With working part time. Even if you left him. And were a single mom. You would still need childcare. Which isn’t free. Especially with 2 kids. Yes, he should be helping with something around the house. But obviously it is helping you. It says the last few nights. So he’s been doing dinner and cleaning, except the last few nights? And what is “normal” with the cleaning? Is he not doing any of it. Or just not doing it to your expectations? I’m a single mom of 3. I do EVERYTHING on my own. Maybe be happy that he is home with your children. So you can go to work and do schooling without paying someone. I know, I know. I’m wrong…But if it’s only been a few days that it’s been this way, wait and see what happens.

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I really like Christopher Marcil answer lol.
But honestly, you’ve had conversations with him about this and nothing changes?
Time to get a lawyer, file papers, and tell him to get out and be lazy somewhere else.
Then find yourself a true partner. Someone who will bear the load with you and not place it directly on your shoulders.
Move on in my opinion.

Stay at home or not he should help.
Im on matleave and sometimes I get swamped with the kids/nursing/nap times/cooking /dishes ect… I cant get to it all in 1 day. My hubby works and does the dishes or laundry. When hes layed off he does the cleaning, ill cook and well split the kids responsibility.

Its team work. Itll never quite be 50/50, but he should be pitching in. Relationships are a partnership too, both need to help each other in order for the household to succeed. It can’t all be 1 person.

Maybe somedays you do 80% and other days he does 80% either way he needs to be pitching in.

  • Change the wifi password and get the password when you do a chore :joy: (jk)*
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If he is the stay at home parent then he needs to do all the housework and cooking and take care of the children. He would expect that from you if the roles were reversed

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If he’s a stay at home dad, things like cleaning and preparing meals are literally in his job description.

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Okay he may not be hungry but what about those babies and also how is any different when a man expects us to this when we stay home but we can’t expect the same also that internet box would be coming with me when I went to work

Think about if the role was reversed, what would you want your husband/wife to do to you if YOU weren’t doing anything. Prolly not leave right. Make the correct changes by talking. Too many ppl nowadays just wanna run away from little shit. TALK TO HIM NOT FACEBOOK.

Is he depressed? Does he like staying at home still? Do y’all fight as soon as you walk through the door. These all come together for him not really wanting to do anything… just a thought

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If he doesn’t wanna do it then maybe he should get a job. But even then, he should be helping. It’s like you’re already single, give him them papers :rofl: just kidding idk if it qualifies for that but yeah. He needs to get off his ass and do something.

Why isn’t he working? Girl give him a choice either or move out.

Change the password for the internet for a whole day while you’re at work and ignore his texts unless they are relevant to the children. I bet he’ll shape up real quick.

He is not a stay at home dad he is a dead beat.

Swing by and pick up the kids and go out to dinner without him.

My question first off is why are u putting up with an unemployed obviously lazy man? As for u being unreasonable, ABSOLUTELY NOT!Make his lazy butt get out and get hisself a job. Obviously u dont need him, cause he sounds like a burden to me.sorry but i wld not put up with a lazy unemployed freeloader for a hubby hon, u can do better. No woman should have to go to work while her man sits home and does nothing.i dbe willing to bet hes a video game lover, aint he? Lol

Does he not even make dinner for the kids? What time do you get off work?

Why are you doing this ?. Greyhound therapy …give him a one-way ticket to the farthest destination.

Get rid of his lazy ass! If all that matters is playing games on the Xbox… you’re screwed… if he can’t take even an hour or so to do little things to help out boot his ass!!! Electric isn’t free, wifi isn’t free, and rent isn’t free neither… he does his share or gets a damn job that’ll help pay the bills or show him the damn door :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::facepunch::facepunch::facepunch::facepunch::facepunch:

It sounds like you have 3 sons…

Sounds like my husband, who I separated from 4 and half years ago…

Honey put his ass on the road bc u don’t need another child to care for which is how he acts & if ur already doing it by yourself, u got this, tell him to grow up & be a parent or get the fuck out

Girl dump him and marry me! I cook and clean. Your not being unreasonable, if your able I would cook before I left for work. It’s not fair at all to you or the kids but they need to eat.

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You don’t have two kids you have 3… You can do bad by yourself

Sounds like you have an extra kid…he needs to step up and do his share

Bro what.

Just hire a afternoon Male maid with 5% body fat and only works without a shirt on, tell him he has “nothing to worry about” and do a awkward “hug” when he leaves.

Then always smile and say your pelvis is sore.

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You have 3 kids not 2

Take his x box away if he’s going to act like a kid treat him like a kid relationships takes team effort he’s slacking big time

Sounds like what you’re experiencing is a marriage with a complete lack of commitment and partnership.

He isn’t a stay at home dad he is an unemployed enabled bum. Sorry. He should be working and taking care of the house and kids an equal amount as you and if he is home he needs to care for the house and kids.

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I would tell him to get a job if cant help out and cook and clean. Need to give him a wake up call.

I’m not a stay at home dad. The mother of my children has a full time job, and is working on her PhD so she is often unavailable for long stretches throughout the week.

I work two part time jobs and I travel to see private clients as well (massage therapist), I still find time to cook meals, wash dishes and do all the general cleaning, wash and fold the laundry, and be present for our two young boys (5 and 2).

Because in the end, I’m the one with more time to do so. When she has breaks in her schedule she picks up some of the tasks.

You aren’t being unreasonable, your “husband” is. Tell him to shape the fuck up, or throw the whole man away.

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As long as u put up with it… It’s going to continue.

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You’re a full time college student and part time worker with 3 sons….not 2 young sons and a husband, you have 3 sons.

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Thats a night where I order in or put a pizza in the oven. I have to ask if your husband has add? Mine is and struggles with staying on tasks and then nothing gets done, even with reminders. I roll with it cause it’s part of him and there’s so many other great things. But if youre sending him reminders and he isn’t responding…I think your hint is right there sadly that he just doesn’t care.

In my opinion few men respect their wives, all a wife is their sex toy and maid. I did that for 21 years decided if I was going to have to do it all I didn’t need him. You need to have a meeting of the minds and let him know he has to help, or get a full time job.

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Looks like you have 3 kids not 2🤣

Sounds like you need to take away his electronics !! That’s his first mistake video games dont go with raising kids

Sounds like he one of the kids too.

Your husband needs to get a job!:woman_shrugging:t3:

He’s a loser you need to tweet the man out of your life

He’s your 3rd child :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: Time to freak out on him and set his ass straight!!

If he’s not doing his stay at home dad duties he needs to go get a full time job and get off his lazy Xbox ass.

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He needs to get a job

Step up or step out, dude.

He needs to get a job!

I’ll never figure out why you women put up with these lazy piece of crap men. He’s not doing his part at home and you need to tell him to get a job. A real job. Not babysitting children and playing on the computer all day.

Kick him to the curb

Throw the whole man in the trash and start again™

It’s difficult raising three kids as a single parent. Especially when the third child wasn’t raised properly by his first mom. He doesn’t need a wife. He was looking for a mommy.

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Throw the whole man out !

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I would stop cooking for him, feed the kids but ignore Him until He gets the hint.

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If your working and going to school while he is at home, he needs to do things around the house. When my husband and I were out of work or off for the summer while I was teaching, we did all the housework AND cooking. My husband would come home and help cook to give me a break. It is suppose to be teamwork and not only one doing all the work! Leave him until he can grow up!

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Girl I have the same problem but my man does work but I just work way more than him and he sits at a desk and I am on my feet all day but he still does nothing no cooking no cleaning and I pay half the bills

Tell him If he can’t do the work at home that needs to be done then he needs to go find a real job to help out.

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Smh! I’m about exhausted hearing about these men who are simply lazy and inconsiderate! They shuck their responsibilities and get away with it, what would happen if things were reversed and as women we did the things they do, it would be a pure mess! And I know these men would be very vocal about it!

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Get rid of him n fast

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Freeloading bumb!!! He’s gonna dish it out as long as you take it!!! Is this what you signed up for??? Your move!!!

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I’m petty and wouldn’t come home till he’s put the kids to bed. Let him deal with the “I’m hungry” Then walk in with my own food, not sharing. Go sit down and watch some TV. Repeat until the fight starts. But that’s just me…

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If he’s going to be a stay at home dad, he needs to do stay at home dad things! If not, find a sitter and tell his ass to get a job and help pay bills! :woman_shrugging:. .also, take the Xbox and computer to work with you :rofl:

Start making food for you and the kids, and be sure he doesn’t get a lucky of it. Ever. Nada. Until he learns to pitch in some damn how.

I would forget or not think about it cooking too, he sounds lazy. He’s not a sahd just for staying home. I would order food do everyone but him or cook things he doesn’t like… but I’m spiteful :joy:

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My Mom would of took the internet box to work with her. Or the plugs to the TVs. Or maybe make only the children a covered plate for their dinner.

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He needs a wake up call. If you’re doing everything ask him what the point of him even being there??

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Young one you need to put your foot down or up something else. He’s not pulling his weight as a”stay at home dad”. Take charge now because the long you allow this the harder it will be. He sounds like a child - so be the adult and handle it sweetie.

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Forget to cook for him and see how he likes it

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When you go home and hes playing his xbox instead of cooking you dinner pick it up and smash it on the floor

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How are the bills paid?

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Stop cooking for him and tell him if he can’t do what needs to be done at home get job to help out

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Leave the little boy.

My hubs stays home , and literally homeschools our babies AND cooks dinner , and tries to pick up (I do most of the cleaning and work) , maintaining a family is hard 50/50 that shit . We’re a team , as you and your partner should be , it took us awhile to learn were our individual strengths are , but once we did meet in the middle everything got easier , maybe you two need to take time to learn individual strengths so it lightens the load and even things out a bit more .?

Seriously, this sounds like an issue but not a crisis. Don’t just leave the father of those babies because of this. So many woman are in situations of abuse, addiction, loneliness, etc. If he is a good man who’s only fault is laziness it can be fixed. Make him a reminder list of things to do. If dinner is the issue buy easy to fix dinners (crockpot or skillet meals), a load of laundry a day, pick up after kids go to bed. Don’t be unreasonable but firm and direct. Make sure when he does these things you let him know how much he is appreciated and loved. If this doesn’t work out then give him notice that you are going to quit your job as it’s to much to handle (If he’s able to work). I’m assuming that since you are in school it’s not your dream job, you need to quit. He can then work giving you time for running a household and school.

Run!! If he can’t work or at least take care of the house some what u need him for. A babysitter would an cheaper and less headache

So, you essentially have a babysitter. Girl, just yeet the whole man child out the door!

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Take the wifi box to work with you… Like no joke

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Just because he’s not hungry doesn’t mean everyone else isn’t. Smh

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Umm…you should prob get a man that would treat you right and has goals and ambitions. Dont be afraid to be alone and don’t stay in a relationship because your just use to the person. Get the divorce, move out and be on your way. Your paying all the bills anyway. In home daycare is more affordable than the facility daycare. Your doing everything anyway, so what would be the difference?

You already know why. He does not have too. So…either tell him to help out or he is not going to like the consequences.

No advice. But how do you have a monthly meal plan? I’m totally envious of your organization

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Have him get a job to pay for daycare for those kiddies

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/am-i-being-unreasonsable/16616

You only pay her gas money “sometimes” but want her to perform the duties of a full time daycare/preschool provider?
You get what you pay for…or in your case you already get more than you pay for
Your child is safe, fed, clean, and properly supervised :joy:

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Go full time! It will be best for your child to get great quality care and there won’t be family drama!

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If you want your child in a structured daycare, put that child there and pay for it.

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Put him in daycare if you don’t like the service. You’re only paying gas money sometimes anyway.

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If you dont like it put him in daycare. Otherwise you need to cut her a little slack. Shes his Grandma too. Life doesnt have to be so rigid. Think big problem is you didnt like the idea to begin with, so suspect you will find fault with anything. If theres no sign of neglect or abuse should be thankful.

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Myself I’d rather watch my grandchild i don’t trust daycare now day’s. I wouldn’t charge but it be at my house and i don’t need instructions. Just my thoughts.

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She’s not a trained pre school teacher and that’s what you are obviously looking for…pay for it and get him in. Be careful how you act around your mil because from your tone here you are very bitter, no point of causing a rift over such a small issue

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She is doing you a favor. You sound absolutely ungrateful and just plain disrespectful to your elders. Do her a favor and put your son in daycare. She doesn’t deserve your poor treatment.

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