I learned with my 2nd kid to get handy downs and clean and wash and boom saved me allot of money didn’t ask anyone for anything or expected anything from them. Because people can be selfish.
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Makes me furious! Honestly even after covid I’m just doing an online registry and having them send to my house, because my biggest fear is people simply not showing up… Feel free to DM me your registry, I can help 
So sorry! I’d go NC and block all of them! Let them wonder what the heck is going on. (Maybe) announce the baby after you’ve been home a few weeks. No one would be allowed an ‘open door’ invite. Where are all these people who made demands and then didn’t show? TX or FL? If they’re Florida folk and you moved to be closer to “helpful” family you might consider moving back. Good luck 
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That sucks. Sounds like you have a great support system from this post. It is a scary time. I’m a teacher and one of my students pediatrician
Girl you’re totally in the right. Also, if you’re in the Tampa area, HMU I have some great resources for you to help prepare for baby since everyone wanna be like that. 
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I just sent a gift card and it should be there by Sunday. Enjoy your baby boy and forget about the rude people in your circle.
They’re all inconsiderate in my opinion.
No contact with all of them. They want to throw their little fits because no party then don’t show up when you do. Nope nope nope. I would never forgive any of them. Gifts aside. For them to manipulate you and make you feel crazy for not wanting to have an in person shower and then not show up when you give in and make a party. Nope. Grade A A-holes.
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All should abide by your wishes! And you aren’t suppose to throw yourself a baby shower!
You have every right to be upset. Id be furious!!! Thats one of the reasons i dont like throwing parties.
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Wow… reconsider you family and friends. Sorry that happened 
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Sounds like you have some really shady family and friends. The gifts shouldn’t be in exchange for being invited to a party. The gifts should be because you are a loved one who is having a baby and people want to help with the things you need.
Screw all of them, super rude!!! Honestly just do what you can, also look I. To kids consignment shops you can get amazing clothes and deals and half the stuff is like never worn!
So sad. They are not true friends even if they are family. Good luck with your baby watch for garage sales and discount stores. Kids out grow so quickly. Baby shampoo takes out a lot of stains.
Go live on Facebook opening gifts. Some people are just petty and want to see.
No way! Stick to your ground, Mama!
Post this whole thing on your Facebook and tag all of them lol. Then see what they say about it now that other people see how they are.
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I would’ve called them and told them thanks a lot but can you come pick up the food and snacks I spend my money on
Send everyone of them a bill for what they requested.
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Okay
Unpopular opinion here.
You don’t throw yourself a baby shower. That’s your best friend, mom, sister, sister in law or mother in law job.
If you don’t have the money, simply don’t spend it.
If you needed something you would have bought it with the money you had.
It is a little tacky to not give anything and still ask for gifts.
At the same time, most people have 9 months to get ready. That’s plenty of time to get everything you might need.
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Personally I wouldn’t even let them know when the babies born.
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I would go live or make a nice long post telling everyone “Thank you for not showing up after I spent my money getting food and having a party you all bitched for.”
I’d ask everyone if I had told them the right day. And let them know I’m asking due to the fact no one came!
This makes me so mad girl PM I’ll help out with somethimg send me your registry people can be so childish
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Honestly, I wouldn’t talk to any of them. Not let them know when your sweet baby arrives or anything. They’re obviously all talk, no show.
And if people can’t understand that you don’t want to have a party due to covid then to hell with them. That is just ridiculous in my opinion, and they don’t care about you or your feelings.
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Man, all y’all are the BOMB ladies!!! I’m so sorry that happened to you smh
We had a virtual baby shower for my niece and nobody thought twice about it … so sorry this happened to you
Psh screw that man I wouldn’t talk to them till I was done being mad that so awful big hugs
I know of two or three people who had virtual baby showers - you need to find some new friends.
Ok. Im old so going to give you my teaching on baby showers. As outdated as it may be . 1st of all, you dont throw your own shower. A family member or friends do. If this is your 1st baby, people are alot more willing. When you get to baby 3 or 4, people get tired of the gift giving unless they are close friends or relatives. No one is expected to subsidize your choices of giving birth. In this day an age your children should be a choice and affordable. And hopefully you make due with hand me downs from tbe other babies. Lastly, its never ok to make requests of the host for special things. Im sorry this happened to you. But also understand some of the reluctance to be part of it.
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Thats why after my 3rd child I never threw a baby shower cause nobody ever came I was left alone. But if you still need some help I could help out with what I can just PM me your registry I been in your shoes to many times.
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Uh sis… can you pm me your registry tho ??
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I’d start looking for new friends and building a new family because baby shower gifts are for expectant parents, NOT an exchange for a party. How completely selfish of them!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum.
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Oh my goodness since when are you supposed to give your own baby shower ? You are wise to be cautious about Covid. If people want to “shower “ you with gifts for your baby they will. I have never heard of anything like this before so maybe I misunderstood but I would chalk it up to experience and never give myself a party again. Especially when money is tight.
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More importantly you need to stay safe. Delivering moms are having a really hard time with covid. Their babies are ok but they are going on ventilators . Stay away from people till you deliver
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Your guests & family were very rude!
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I will send a gift. Set up an Amazon wish list. God bless you and the baby.
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A group of friends and me held a shower for a member of our group who had recently moved to another state. We gathered at my house (WAY before covid was drempt of) played the normal shower games ate food and wtapped presents. We then shipped the ptesents to her.
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SHAME on them all for not heeding your advice/request in the very beginning! I pray for a safe & healthy delivery & beautiful healthy baby.
God bless you!
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1)You should not give YOURSELF a baby shower. Only friends or family do that for you.
2)Yes it was rude for them to request special foods and not show up.
3)Apparently there are issues between you and your family since no one in your family gave you a shower and no one in your family came to the shower you gave yourself.
Much deeper/serious problems going on here than whether someone was rude to you🤔
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I thinks it crazy that people throw their own baby shower it’s ridiculous and then Doing a list of what they want a little greedy like just give me money I know everyone does a list which is fine but years ago it was a lot nicer because it was a surprise for the Mom and they were thankful for the gifts. Maybe they are waiting for the baby to be born and then will send a present
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No they are really sad I’d be furious especially since they asked for special stuff I wouldn’t even tell them when I have my baby and don’t let them see baby unless vaccinated and come with gift plus your favorite friend or family suppose to give shower
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A lot of people post their registry, it isn’t rude or asking for a gift, it’s simply giving ideas of what is still needed for anyone that Wants to give a gift for the baby. Those people were the rude ones, cut your losses and enjoy the family you have created with your husband and baby!
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Do not cave in for the gifts. Your Health and the Babies safety are what’s most important. There are many agencies out there that can help. Matter of fact, IM your address and what you need…I will send you a gift!
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It’s the 21st century, folks she can throw herself baby shower especially since none her family did it for her. Her family are the ones in wrong. Shame on them!
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I thought other people did the shower party for you???
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First of all, you were not supposed to throw your own party! Second, never heard of guests telling hostess what to serve. Third they are not your friends. Fourth what’s with the grandparents etc. not showing up after rsvp. I think that is just rude. Your family is rude. That my story and I’m sticking to it.
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Should have stuck with the original plan
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I used to live 2 states away from my family, it was hard financially to come back, so my sister just had a baby shower for me by mail. I chose things for the registry, and then whoever was on our list, which I guess to her, she sent out an invitation, but instead of in person, it was by mail. It worked out just fine, no one complained.
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They were very wrong but no point in being upset. Stress hormones cross the placenta and circulate in your growing baby. Lesson learned is stick to your better judgement no matter what the peer pressure.
Also, don’t depend on gift registries for what you need for your baby. Manage with what you can afford.
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What they did was wrong n quite cruel know ur financial situation was. N to top it off they had food requests. Did anyone offer to make anything like MOST ppl do?. I can’t believe not 1 person showed up. I mean did they all call 1 another n say let’s not any of us show up? They should b so ashamed of themselves including her family members. I’d b sooo hurt n sooo passed off at all of them. This just showed what kind of ppl they all r. Tell them to kiss ur ass
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I’ve never heard of a person giving themselves a shower. Maybe it’s a geography thing (down South we have family or bff give the shower). Maybe you should have gone with your intuition and stuck to the registry.
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I am still in shock that they had SPECIAL food requests…i get food allergies but special snacks?
No you are not wring for being upset your so called family and friends should be ashamed of thier selves…next party you get invited to put special food drink requests in and don’t show…you know tit for tat…do what they did to you
I am. Sorry they did not respect your wishes . You have every right to stay home snd protect yourself snd baby .Sorry to say , these people are not very considerate of you or your baby . I think it shows their rudeness and lack of respect for you , and your friendship with them . You are not wrong !!! If you get Covid then baby might . These people are not good friends!! So make sure they stay away after baby is born too.
What is wrong with the people here that say she shouldn’t give herself a shower well what kind of people think she or her baby dont deserve a party just because she has fucked up family and inlaws alike ? I had inlaws like that its aweful the family on both sides are terrible and should be ashamed Karma my dear they all will regret it you enjoy your little family may God bless you and your baby and dont lower yourself by making them stay away just let them know there will be none of this behavior as your child grows up or they can stay away …
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yes I would of been very upset your smart to keep you and the baby safe, I know lots of ppl by passed a shower and they had gifts sent to the house, your family and friends should of understood that!!!
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Why don’t you post your registry out to all of us and just maybe you will get surprises. I’m sure many of would love to be a part of your extended family and would expect nothing in return.
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These people aren’t your friends anyway, if they don’t want to support your smart decision. Really too bad, good luck with your baby and everything 
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I hope you said something to those that did not show after saying they would be there, especially those that requested specific foods. That is downright rude! Where are you registered? Name? I’ll send you something. I remember those days, living paycheck to paycheck.
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If I had been invited to a party given by the guest of honor, I wouldn’t go or send a gift. That is just so uncouth. Should never be done.
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The whole mess screams of bad ideas. You giving yourself a shower, your very rude guests requesting food, the entire business. I feel a conspiracy of the guests in their actions. I know you must be deeply hurt and I am sorry. Hopefully it will blow over. The important things is enjoy the experience and the little one. There are many services available that can help with baby needs. Things will work out.
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Drive by parties are great. They hand the gift out the car window and you hand them a treat bag. Some people just honk and wave. That’s nice too.
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Absolutely NOT in the wrong wow they couldn’t respect u for not wanting an in person baby shower with covid spikes that’s wrong on their part then requesting certain foods?? I’m not sure what kind of family/friends u have but not to disrespect u or anything but they aren’t very good!! What they did to u was wrong!!
The godparents are supposed to handle that stuff… My kids God mom’s handled everything. I’m sorry for your troubles. Now you know where you stand w these people in the future.
I realy feel sorry for you though you made a mistake of planning for a baby shower for your baby… Pliz stay safe and wish you safe delivery… Wish j could help but sorry In Kenya and going through a lot after losing my job after covid
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I’m with you on this one. Your child is your first priority. Besides , waiting until the birth gives you a better chance of getting what your child needs. We were I’ll keep you and yours iñ been our prayers.
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Having just a Registry is offensive.
RSVPing and not showing plus, requesting special foods is just plain rude.
Those persons were probably responding to being offended. It was still rude on their part.
Wait until you have the baby and send out announcements.
It’s not up to you to give a shower.
It seems everyone has a short fuse these days.
If someone does decide to give you a shower, have them make it outdoors and follow all COVID guidelines. You and your baby’s health are all that should matter anyway.
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I would be angry too, but I know how you feel because in my family depending on who your are will depend on if people show up or not, let your family know how disappointed your are in them. Sadly it makes you not want to have a party again and invite any of them and you definitely don’t feel like attending.
This makes me really angry! I feel like I would have to say something to a few of those who requested food and didn’t show up. I think I’d tell them how much it hurt your feelings. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Take care of yourself and your baby to be. Material things can always be gotten, not worth the gifts.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Very rude of these people to not show up. Three good things came from this: (1) by not showing up, you and baby were not exposed to possible germs/virus; (2) you now know who to never rely on; and (3) you are free to live your life as you see fit without the influence of anyone. Forgive them, move on, and have a wonderful life your way.
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I wouldn’t have a baby shower right now with covid and this new virus going around. To the people who said it unless to by present if you don’t have a shower is down right rude. Plus you are not supposed to throw your own party and how dare people request certain foods. So rude
I think your friends and family who might someday want a relationship with you and your son, were somehow raised by bottom-feeders.chexk your health department for referrals to organizations that could help. Salvation army is amazing! Shop thrift stores. Post on your social media what your needs are and that you are a bit desperate for help. Seek help through your church family. Often times strangers are the most caring, helpful, and giving. Don’t forget to pay it forward when you can. And pray. Always pray!
Congratulations on the new addition. I hope you get the things you’ll need somehow. That’s just really crappy how you were treated. Shame on them! You deserve better.
Try to let it go and look forward to the baby you will be so happy and in love with the baby it won’t matter
No I would be upset after all u done and no one ahowed. First , all this that ppl were requesting you should have used your sense abd said forget it. 2nd. I would text all those that I invited if I could remember them and gave them a piece of my mind.
Toy should have a shower for every kid regardless I’d in person or not and I guess you no longer have any family if they didn’t want to buy you stuff for your baby.
I understand her fear and not want get sick with covid. I don’t blame her. I would give her gift anyway if I don’t show up. I still gave her gift. I just was invited to a baby shower and I didn’t show up because I was scared of covid but I give her gift. The pregnant lady had good time. Several people didn’t go to her party but still gave her gifts anyway. People still to be polite and respect her. All she wants to be healthy when the baby is born. Her family needs to understand that.
You were generous doing what you did. First, you shouldn’t have to host your own shower. Second, nobody had the right to request anything for the shower…I could go on and on. I’m so sorry. Although I doubt this, I hope that people get a clue and step up. Also, I understand not wanting a get together with the uncertainty of covid. Bless you and your little family. 
Wow. I’m not from USA so I don’t know the culture there but here is a different take…
it IS a faux pas to post a registry. People will ask if they want your guidance on gifts otherwise it’s good manners to kindly accept what you receive as a baby gift. It’s also a bit rude to say “I don’t want to host a party because of my safety” and then change your mind because people aren’t going to get your gifts. Seems a little entitled, it’s not their duty to set you up for the arrival of your child.
But their reaction was also not fair. Most people I know would have accepted that a party isn’t the best idea & would have given a gift the first time they saw the child… But only if the registry had not been posted.
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Do a zoom baby shower. List everything you would hope to get from inexpensive to more expensive and make sure that they can order it from a baby shower link. Then send that company’s link as well as zoom link for the party to your friends and family. Give them time to RSVP. You even in a small chance of contracting Covid while pregnant not absoutely not a risk to take. If they don’t like it then they don’t really love you.
Typically people don’t give themselves showers. But, this whole story sounds made up.
You do not give out your own baby shower! You went through a lot and if anyone wants to give you a gift let them drop off the gifts to you!! It’s a trying time so let someone else take care of the gifts!!!
Shame on those who expect more of you!!!
True friends do not ask of you what makes you uncomfortable; especially when it’s in reason( CoVID is real !) although they have the right to withhold gifts ,wow I don’t understand that kind of friendship.
You should be furious with each and everyone who participated . Be truthful and tell them how you feel about what happened. It they are truly your friend they will try to make things right, if not let them go. As for family, I would express your disappointment.
No…you don’t need to get covid while pregnant…if these people don’t understand That, they are being insensitive.
My niece did a drive by baby shower. Big awning in the front yard with favors and treats handed out. It was amazing. The extra plus was no games!
Okay all these people saying shes rude for throwing her own shower are ridiculous. No she shouldnt HAVE to throw her own shower, shes got enough going on making a baby. But with the times today you cant rely on people how you used to. However she already stated she didnt even want a shower. Just some help. Im 39 weeks tomorrow and co-hosted my shower but helped plan alot just because i wanted to be involved and was going stir crazy🤷🏻 its not rude. Even if no one got her anything, a shower isnt asking for presents. Its coming together to celebrate the new baby. Gifts are appreciated and always helpful but Thats not the point. Family and friends shouldnt GUILT you into throwing something when clearly no one else was willing to do it, then make demands, only to not come and at the very least celebrate your new addition to your family. You are not wrong or rude in this situation. (Or letting hormones get the best of you like ive heard one too many times) i know i would be down right hurt if i were in this position. Please keep your head up
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Lots of people aren’t having anything more than virtual showers because of covid and there is nothing wrong with that or your need to protect your child’s life even before it arrives. I think your doing the right thing. Only the wrong people won’t understand. Your lives are worth more than the risks a few hours could pose. Do you sweet thing and be safe for all 3 of your sakes!!
My Niece had a virtual Baby Shower. It’s the way to do it…to keep everyone safe.
Every family member that Rsvp needs to give you pampers or something. Hell just send a nice text or email and explain. That’s where the village comes from.
My daughter is in Hawaii… we did an online shower…
My niece did a zoom shower and it worked out really well
That’s bloody rude on their behalf… I wouldn’t bother showing off bubba to any of them for at least 12-18 months
At our church we did drive by. Set up in front door and have cupcakes and and such. And they drive up and drop off a present and get a goodie bag.
Thats a dam shame that people are so heartless keep your head up god mi ght not be there when you need him but he always so pray and give it to god and let it go
I would be furious. But, I wouldn’t have posted my registry on FB knowing a shower was not planned. Why were you hosting your own shower anyway? Odd.
EVERYONE was VERY RUDE in NOT even responding. Besides that, they were VERY inconsiderate in NOT understanding that COVID is RAMPANT now and NOT even I would have a party in my house. SHAME ON EVERYONE.
I think what your asking is reasonable. Maybe you could have a zoom baby shower and people can drop presents at your door or bring them round once it’s safer