If she helps pay bills then you shouldn’t say anything about her having a boy over now if she doesn’t help pay bills then you are totally in the right. But if she helps w bills then she’s pulling her weight as an adult and u should look at it more in a sense that she’s a roommate but make it to where she isn’t bring a new guy every day
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yea I think regardless it’s a respect thing especially considering
- She has smaller children under that roof (no way in hell am I letting strangers stay over with my younger children in my home and
- Don’t think I’d feel pretty comfortable knowing my SD is bringing home different guys and they are banging it out in the next room.
My older 2 moved out bcuz they wanted to do things their way. I’m curious to know what the father thinks cuz that wasn’t mentioned in here. I don’t care if they are paying rent or a bill…I don’t care if so and so’s parents are ok with this and that…go live with them or her boss
She can always pay for a hotel too…
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As a 23 year old. i say, she cant have boys over unless its a serious relationship (at least 1 year of being together) and if he does stay the night he sleeps on the couch and hes not allowed in the bedroom unless the door is opened.
She either respects that much or a no go at all or she can move out and get her own place.
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If she wanna act like a w***e then she can make the guy rent a hotel
Before my husband and I were married his mom made him sleep on the couch and I could have his bedroom.
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If there was one steady, responsible, mature relationship going on I may feel differently but given what you’ve said here I’m with you
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Nope. Your house your rules. You are absolutely right, if she wants to act like and adult she can do so in her own home. If there are littles around and she’s running through them it’s 100% a no for me. My sons gf lives with us and has for almost 2 years. They are almost 20 and she was kicked out of her house on her 18th birthday. I said no for months and then gave in when the house she was staying at had a ton of illegal activity and she doesn’t do anything like that, doesn’t drink or anything. My son is now in the Marine Corps and she will soon be leaving to head to Cali with him and they will be married. He wasn’t allowed to have random girls in my house before her and they weren’t allowed “private” time for along time because I had a little also. If he was still single and home he at 20 wouldn’t be allowed to have girls in my house either.
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U already kinda slut shamed her with this post 
and as far as having boys over…if it’s not a steady relationship then I agree with the not allowed over
What one allows in one’s home does not work for others. While I am disgusted by her multiple partners thats my opinion. I’ve let my daughter have her boyfriend over since she was 15. She is now 19 never been pregnant and only had 2 boyfriends since she was 14. One of which she is still with. She is also in college to become an obgyn. If your daughter is 20 it’s her choice what she does with her life. However, I would never allow that many boys/men in and out of my home. I’ve learned from personal experience the more you take away or forbid them the more they will do behind your back.
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Personally I never called my kids names and had no problem with steady partners staying the night …but not a different person every night…I preferred to know my kids were safe and to meet the people they were spending time with.
However if she’s working and paying her way at your house id say she has the right to have people in her room . Sounds like she’d be better off in her own place…maybe you could help her look for something suitable
Agree about not letting her have boys over.
Maybe rethink about how you are wording things about her choices if she wants to do it. I mean she’s 20 so she’s an adult.
In getting your point across it’s just simple “I don’t want men I don’t know anything about sleeping in the same house as your siblings.” She needs to see how this would affect everyone and it’s not just about her.
Anyway best of luck.
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It’s a good rule but you do sound like your slut shaming her.
Bb girrrllllll can get a hotell room
Wow blunt af but yeah its your house take that sh*t elsewhere. * def would say you shouldnt talk about it that way. It comes off as judgin because you are but its a shame she doesnt respect herself more and see running so many men through the bedroom is an issue of itself. Besides assuming she should be allowed to run em through yalls house smh
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You don’t owe her an explanation. You are the parents. Your house your rules. I wouldn’t allow it it especially since she has younger siblings.
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Your house…your rules. Plain and simple. If she doesn’t agree or like it , get a job and pay her own rent:person_shrugging: That’s a no brainer. Kids these days have less respect than my generation .Id never challenge my mother in her house about her rules…I was scared to for real 
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My house my rules trumps anything she has to say🤷
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She should have enough respect for you she shouldn’t even ask she’s definitely old enough to have her own place if that’s the way she wants to live
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If she wants to lay up with a man she needs to get her own place.
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your house, your rules
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My mom took my whole door away. 
. I dread going through this.
Buy her a toy and say here ya go!
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She is 20…she needs a stable relationship not the random of the day…or get a few friends and an apt and do her thing! I had boys and they had gfs sleepover…usually the girl in a bed the boy on the couch until I got up then sent to my bed…(I get up early) and we did loads of stuff together!! My son was in his own place with his gf and had kids a yr or so later…my point is she needs to respect the house as well as maybe have the thought put out there get some friends and a place…
I mean telling Facebook the amount of sexual partners she has had and in a specific time frame is slut shaming her and you should be ashamed of yourself, not to mention ask yourself why she has felt the need to try and build browns football team ?!
Who knows …but if she is running an only fans …she can afford a place
Your house, your rules. If she wants to do private things, she needs her own private place to do them.
It doesn’t matter if there are younger siblings at home or not … house rules are house rules, and it’s your house … but the fact that there are younger siblings living in the same house means that everybody follows the same house rules. It’s not fair for her to have a separate set of rules, just because she’s older.
In my day, we called it “incentive” to get our own place.
Of course, in my day, the social rule of thumb was to wait to have sex until you were married … and you only had the one partner. Society has changed. People nowadays have “F” buddies, girls get pregnant in their teens, and nobody seems to care. I hear the term “baby mama” and “baby daddy” more than I ever hear the term “wife” or “husband”.
In any case, it’s your home, and she needs to respect you & the other family members by following whatever rules you think are appropriate for your household. If she doesn’t agree, then it’s time for her to get her own place.
Commenting on her number is slut shaming, BUT I also believe that it is your house, your rules, and she needs to respect you. Maybe if she were paying rent I could see her wanting to have people spend the night.
I was 40 and taking care of my parents living in their home, if you weren’t married, you didn’t sleep in the same bed.
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I’d say that if she pays part of the bills and it was one guy that she’s in a serious relationship with and you and her father have met him and are comfortable having him in your home around your children I might let him stay once in awhile but no way I’d have strangers in my home with you get children. As you said she’s 20 years old and could get her own place if she wants to. If she’s still living at home rent free though I wouldn’t allow it at all. That’s not unfair if she chooses to live at home with no bills then she chooses to abide by the rules of your home.
Your house your rules. Period
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Your house = your rules. If she wants to act like an adult she can go get her own place.
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Your house your rules. Even though she is an adult she still lives at home with you. Perfect example: before my husband and I got married, we were living with my mother along with our children. My mom informed us both that we could stay with her but we could not sleep in the same bed, we could not be intimate in no shape form or fashion besides the usual I love you kisses and hugs. Even after we got married, we were still not intimate as we were still living with her until she got help with her chemo treatment. We respected my mothers wishes and rules for her house. If your daughter respects you she would follow your rules. She should definitely want to be a good role model for her younger siblings. Especially if she has little sisters. If she still wants to insist on having her little boyfriends over she needs to get her own place. Sometimes it takes tough love. Sit down and talk to her again. Let her know you still love her but it’s your house and if she wants to behave the way she is then she needs to get her own place. That way she can do whatever she wants.
A steady stream of random guys is an absolute no for everyone’s safety, including hers. If she wants to engage in promiscuity without a steady partner it poses many potential risks to everyone in your house. Even more so in covid times. Tell her to get her own place if she wants to act grown
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Your house
Your rules
If she wants to play house she has to get one first
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It’s your house your rules 
if she wants that adult freedom she can get her own place.
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I had the same rule in my house and it’s fair, your house, your rules. However, the rest of the post was grossly unnecessary and very telling of the actual relationship you have with her.
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Your house your rules. Even adults need to respect your rulesz
Your house your rules. Simple
Your an a$shol3. The way you describe the whole situation shows that. But it is your house. Hopefully she gets her own soon
Your house your rules. Find a place of yout own
It’s your house I could see if she had a serious boyfriend that you trusted, but just having a bunch of random dudes over especially when you have younger people living there - your reasoning seems completely sensible.
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My mom didn’t allow boys over night but allowed them in the house. Idk, I felt very uncomfortable bringing boys into my moms house. So, I moved out.
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Your house your rules! Even if she paid rent for a room it’s still up to you to say no sleeping over!
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Your house, your rules. Don’t blame you for not wanting strangers in your house! If it was a steady bf might be different…
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I do agree with your reasons, the first thing she needs to understand is that yes she is an adult & can make grown decisions by herself, however she does not live alone. And even if she pay la rent it is still your household & your house. So she needs to respect the rules that are being placed or she can easy go and find a place of her own . If she decides to roommate, not everyone will allow her to have people over so those are not just rules that you set lots of people set those rules too. Even when you rent a house or a room. … she just needs to be understanding of that part.
My house my rules =don’t like it move out. Straight no. I wouldn’t even consider changing the rules
Why doesn’t she stay over at the boys homes? Apparently their parents have the same rule.
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No boys allowed to spend the night!!! If she wants to play house she will need to get her own place. Other little kids don’t need to be exposed to that.
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I was gonna say that It means she’s 20 come on but then the little kids and the she can get her old place kind of got me yeah your house your rules if she doesn’t like it she can move out
Wow she’s 20 living with rules like she’s still at school, if she did want to move out would you even allow that?
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Your house your rules
As you said, she’s old enough to have her own place but she doesn’t so she should accept your choice in the way you’d like her to behave in your house.
And you also mentioned younger siblings…that’s showing respect for them, especially if they are prone to just walking in on everyone. What happens if they walk in on her doing stuff??
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She is 20. If she wants men over tell her to go get her own place period. She is grown.
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My mother lived with me for a while & she couldn’t have male company after a certain time in my home!
YUUUP!! YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES!! Especially with younger siblings in the house!
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Nope! Boys can stay over at her own place. Also, they would need to be in a serious committed relationship for any male friend to come by a visit.
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If it was a commited relationship then I wouldn’t see an issue given her age and the younger siblings …if it’s random guys then I would agree that they shouldn’t come over
I agree with your reasons, but the slut shaming comments are kinda gross. I wouldn’t want strange young adults in my house using it as a hookup spot. She can find other places to do stuff like that just like I did when I was her age…
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The only argument you have is there are younger kids in the house still. Otherwise she’s an adult and you’re still treating her like a child.
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If it was my step daughter, I wouldn’t allow random men coming and going even if she’s paying rent and helping out with other monthly bills. I would worry about my families safety too much. If she was in a relationship and they had been together for quite some time I would allow him to stay over as long as he respected everyone in the house.
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Your house; your rules. If she wants to make the rules, she can get her own place. Period.
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She is 20! No offence but she is an adult!
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You are 
in the right. Strange men in your home with you and your kids alone is reason enough to say no. She should be smart enough to know it’s unreasonable to expect to and disrespectful to you and your family.
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Does she contribute to the household? Pay bills? Rent?
If not, I agree with your house your rules.
If she does, then she’s a tenant and deserves some leeway within reason.
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If she wants sleep overs she needs her own home or apartment ! Plain and simple!
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I was married and had to sleep in a separate room to my husband when staying at home because my brother and sisters were younger.
I didn’t like it but as we were staying with my parents for weekends and holiday I done as they wished.
It’s their home their rules and I done as the wished when we stayed there x
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Your number 1 was the only number needed.
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Your house, your rules. However, don’t sit there and say you aren’t slut shaming after commenting on her number of sexual partners and comparing it to a football team.
Momma - it’s your house your rules - stick to your guns. If she wants to “live her life” as they often say she can get a job and move out and start her “life”. Who’s not “being fair” is her. You want to model good behavior to your lil’ ones - just because she didn’t learn doesn’t give her the right to undermine you on what your want in your house. Your house Momma - she either respects it and you - or don’t let the door bang her booty on the way out. 
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It’s actually your husband’s place to correct his daughter. But house rules need to be upheld.
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You are shaming her and it’s not your body or business who her partners are. She needs to get her own place away from you. Good job of shaming her, grow up.
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You are literally slut shaming her on the internet with this…
She is 20,
Be a grown up and explain if she wants to have people over she needs to get her own place…
But just from this post you seem very judgmental,
I don’t blame you. I would never let my daughters fuck buddy stay over. If it was a steady boyfriend, it would be a different story.
My mom was the same way, you don’t want your you get kids picking up on habits that she has. Plus being little and seeing multiple guys coming and going they will curious at a younger age.
If my daughter wasn’t 30 and married she wouldn’t have boys over either
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I agree with you, there are younger siblings to consider, and she is old enough to have her own place to do want she wishes but that is your house. Also if she really wants to do that she can go spend time at their places
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Solution: bring back slut shamming tell her to get a real bf and then allow it
You are shaming her, by the way. The way you talked about it in this post is judge mental and shaming. But I do agree it’s your house and your rules if she doesn’t like it she can figure it out
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So when I was about the same age my mom didn’t have this rule but I still wouldn’t bring guys to her house because I had younger siblings and to me it was a safety issue. You don’t know what someone is capable of until they do it 
. That being said its Your house so its your rules if she don’t like it she can bounce.
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She is 20 yrs old that’s a Adult she needs to get a job and her own place then she can make the rules end of story
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GIRL!!! ITS UR HOUSE!!! Plain and simple!!!
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I’m just curious… you say you don’t want to shame her but look how you talk about her! Also, you say you and her talk openly, that doesn’t mean to betray her trust and put it on social media for everyone to read. As soon as someone at her work sees this, being social media and a well known page, she’s going to know it’s about her and so are her coworkers. Are you sure that she’s “hooking” up with these randoms or are you assuming? I couldn’t get along with girls coming up so I had many guy friends but I didn’t sleep with them. Now, I get the not spending the night part, but it’s the way you talk about her that I have a problem with. She’s your step daughter so it seems you have an issue from the get go. Maybe the dad needs to talk to her and explain it.
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Personally, I would’ve felt it would be disrespectful to invite guys over for “activities” such as those in my parents home. Stick to your guns, it’s your home, you make the rules. If she wants to do things her own way, she needs to find her own living situation outside of your home. I’m with you.
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Your house your rules. Like you said she is old enough to have her own place. Instead of sleeping around as her ho by maybe just maybe she could work as a hobby and get the hell out
I would let her know that she’s free to move out if she feels the rules and guidelines are unfair because at 20 living at home expecting it to be like a Hotel is ridiculous
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Your house your rules
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Your house your rules.
She knows where the door is if she don’t like the rules
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You’re house you’re rules. That’s the way I see it
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Totally agree with you. You want to do something I’m not comfortable with, it’s my home, get a motel or go to his place. You have younger kids there and that’s not settling a good example.
Has she ever thought about what she’d do ‘if’ she got pregnant by one of her cheap hobbies. Also, as long as she plays with them she will probably have a hard time finding and attracting some one who wants to be more than a fling. I don’t know what her life plans are, but she needs to think about what she wants out of life. Even if she doesn’t want the average American woman’s dream, she still needs to plan. Being a party girl, living with your stepmom will kind of suck as she gets older.
Your house…your rules. Don’t like it???Leave
She can do this in her own place. Would not happen in mine.
I lived with my grandparents when I was in my late teens to early 20s. My grandmother had a rule I was not allowed to have boys over after midnight and I had to be in by 1 AM every night. I hated it and was a complete and total asshole about it I’m sure lol but I did as she asked because she gave me the privilege of having a roof over my head so I gave her the respect of following her rules. It’s your house. She needs to respect your rules and if she doesn’t, she’s old enough to find a place of her own.
We’ll she’s not too much of an adult if she can’t live on her own. Younger siblings or not I wouldn’t want a ton of random dudes in and out of my house, period!
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This entire paragraph is you s**t shaming and judging her. I get that you were meaning to be funny with some of it but the fact that you’re insisting that you don’t judge her really makes you sound like you do the opposite. Does she pay any rent/bills to live at home? She’s an adult so she should be allowed to have people spend the night. Maybe you could just talk with her about choosing who the siblings see.
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My daughter is 20 and if she has a steady bf, we don’t have issue with him sleeping over. Now she is single and we will not be a revolving door for different guys because we have a 12 yr old son. We have made it clear for her not to feel judged she should have her own place to do what she wants. While she lives here, we are a family and have rules and mostly deserve respect from our children.
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olosho dey enter her eyes
STAND YOUR GROUND! I totally agree with you!
Does she pay rent? If not, it’s your house, your rules lol. Also, I’d be pissed if someone talked about my step daughter that way, I’m sure her Dad wouldn’t appreciate your judgement of his daughter either. How many & her type, is absolutely none of your business. All you can do is make sure it isn’t happening in your home.
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Your house your rules. That being said if she wants to have a football team over, good for her but she can do it in her place of residency. I am very open with my mom and she knows that I have ‘play partners’ but she knows I am safe, and we leave it at that.
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Even as an adult, living on my own, I was not allowed to sleep in the same rooms with boyfriends when we came to visit family. Primarily due to much younger siblings living at home. I was almost 30 and dating the man I ended up marrying before it was allowed.
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Your home is not a hotel. You have other children living there. If she wants to have people come and go, she can get her own place. Nothing at all wrong with her choices, but she needs to respect your rules.
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