I can’t get past a 14k electric bill 
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Why does he need to stay inconsistent if I ask my girl if he wants to visit let him even if it’s just to the park and gain his trust don’t cut them off it sux u guys broke up but don’t make them toi
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Have you considered that maybe daily contact on the phone is too difficult for him. That maybe it’s to mentally draining. That he’s not coping not living with you both? That the demands your putting on him are too much? That doesn’t mean you should take away visitation. Unless there is s valid reason don’t take his child away.
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You suck, he’s obviously struggle having to take care of a child and a lazy mom. He’s her father no matter what, he deserves to see/speak to her. You obviously can’t work or take care of her if you’re relying on state assistance and now child support. As Kim k said “get off your a** and work”
Got me at the $14,000 electric bill:poop: How does an electric bill get so high n not like shut off… If im a day late i swear they call:rofl:
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Learn to stand on your own two feet get a job to provide for yourself and child and stop using said child as a weapon
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Completely wrong when I left my relationship with my ex , it was time to get a job get the kids in daycare and lean on him and our village to help in anyway they could my relationship with HIM didn’t work. It was completely separate from the relationship he had with our boys. It’s been 4 years now, I don’t hear from him unless it’s an emergency, he takes our kids two days a week faithfully but why does he need to call my phone ? I don’t call him on the days he has them ? There’s no need …. I know they’re taken care of…… when our separation/divorce was fresh it was too much to talk to each other but he did right by our children and that’s all I cared about.
Why would you even wanna hear his voice on the phone everyday lol yuck
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I don’t think she’s wrong the had a agreement, she’ll be a stay at home mom she got help from the state sounds to me that his entitled he didn’t pay the rent ,he didn’t buy food he can’t even stay in touch with he child … He has no love it’s best that you walked away ,but don’t keep your child away from let him/her see him for what he is ,be blameless in this whole thing
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Don’t ever take the child away from their father. You are using them to get to him. Its totally his business how and when he talks to the kids.
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Let him at least talk to his child go on a payment plan with the electric bill
You’re 100% in the wrong!!
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Your Absolutely In The Wrong. Sounds Like He Doesn’t Call Because He Doesn’t Wanna Talk To YOU NOT HER. Stop Using Her Against Him Because Your Feeling Some Type Of Way. Calling Twice A Day Even Once A Day Is Having Very High Expectations & Super Demanding . Let The Man Be A Father To His Daughter & Be Thankful Because Most Don’t & Won’t Be. Unfortunately Things Like This Being Very Reason. This Isn’t A War & Your Daughter Is Not The Weapon Stop Treating Her As Such. I’m Sure The Weekends He Did Have Her You Didn’t Call Twice A Day The Days He Did So You Can’t Expect Him To Do The Same 
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So pretty much he stopped paying for your bills and you stopped his visitation 
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So if he doesn’t call her every day you won’t let her see her dad at all? Better hope he doesn’t take you to court because every family court judge in America would tell you that you’re 100% wrong.
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I don’t think your in the wrong at all he should stay consistent in her life you left to make sure you both were taken care of because he didn’t wanna do his part he needs to step up and be a consistent parent or not there at all IMO
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I think you are in the wrong , stop and think about what you were telling him to do and think if he was telling you all those things how would you feel . Yes he did you wrong but that should all be between you and him and him seeing and talking to his daughter are different things and shouldn’t mix
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So Every Weekend He Had Her You Called His Phone Twice A Day To Tell Her GoodMorning & GoodNight ? If The Answer Is No Then Don’t Expect Him Too 
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I don’t get why if he was struggling that bad to support you guys why you didn’t see that and help. Maybe it’s me but I support my kids and home on my own. It’s hard. Especially during Covid. One person cannot do it anymore.
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You’re not in the wrong!!!My son will be 5 in May, his father has not seen him or contacted me to talk to him since June of 2019, there’s no blessed way I’d let my son go see him overnight or on a weekend. HE is in the wrong here, not you. He’s an adult, he knows how he needs to behave, and good for you- keep holding him accountable. If you don’t, he will continue to be half ass in his child’s life. There’s no excuse for not contacting his kid dAily. Don’t let these sillly women tell you otherwise.
You want him to contact her daily so you deny her The right to visit him when he doesn’t sounds to me like you’re more concerned about yourself than your daughter! And if he’s that much of a deadbeat why would you want him in her life If he doesn’t supply a roof over her head and electricity???
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So, you can’t stop visitation even when the other parent is behind on support….legally. It’s petty and spiteful and makes you look bad. Also, dads aren’t second class citizens.
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All this for a few missed phone calls are u actually serious. U are a POS
I hope he takes your toxic ass for full custody.
In our state just because a parent doesn’t pay support it is ILLEGAL to keep a child from the other parent. None of this is your daughters fault. NONE of it! Take him to court. YOU’RE PUNISHING YOUR CHILD! That’s being selfish! My ex and I had it out all the time about support BUT, I NEVER kept my children from him!
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It depends on the age of the child for me and how he’s “reaching out.”
If she’s under like 5ish I’d say you’re in the wrong. If he’s texting she can’t read it nor does she grasp the idea that he’s reaching out via text. I feel like if she’s an infant then reaching out twice a day is a little much. He should stay involved but also you should be able to trust each other in that you would update him if she’s sick or if anything major that he needs to know about changes.
If she’s older than that and she’s asking to speak to him or if he’s called, I see your point. It would also factor in what he’s doing in his personal life to an extent… is he partying and going out or is he working 24/7 and trying to change and become more financially mature?
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Seems you want control an to run his life. He chooses rather he calls her or not. You want to have control is what the problem is. You stop him from getting his child because he didnt mind you. 14000$ light bill??? Something is wrong with that. You chose to leave he chose not to call to hear your voice everytime he called an you can’t control that. Thats what the problem is.
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I don’t understand why u stopped letting her go that seemed to me a little more personal between u and him no need to stop the child from going unless there was more of a reason just because phone calls became less and less isn’t a good enough reason yes u had an agreement work that out between yall and not put the child in the middle because so and so is Madd
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It seems he does want to keep in contact with his kid, be grateful for that. You’re separated, stop being so controlling.
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You’re gonna have to give up the consistency thing with calls that just unacceptable . Look as a mom of 2 girls I get it. My ex husband their father calls maybe every few days lately it’s been way less. I get frustrated I get angry but once he has that parenting time schedule from friend of the court and he will get it regardless if you filed for child support you cannot withhold your child from him for that reason. That is something you’re going to have to get over you can ask him hey I’ve noticed you’re not talking to her now it’s not her probably it’s you. She is probably 2 years old give or take based off the timeline you gave. She isn’t talking on that phone much. You already know him to be irresponsible with finances and money.
You left him you got out and let that be it. Love that baby extra hard and don’t impede on her relationship with her daddy and when that parenting schedule is established follow it unless you have good reason not too and him not calling isn’t good reason.
My ex husband has the right to call every night before 7:30 for five minutes it’s in our divorce paperwork. He wanted to be petty and act like it had been a problem. It was never a problem I don’t care how often he calls to talk to his kids. They are his. I would like for it to be more often and it’s frustrating but nothing to be done so we move forward.
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You’re wrong and petty and spiteful…and it’s pretty horrible to leave your partner bc you guys are behind on bills and separate his child from what sounds like an otherwise good father. Maybe step up and help and be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. He’s prob extremely hurt. Taking a child away for the reason you did is awful IMO.
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A judge will tell you to get over yourself with the daily calls. And with you refusing to let him see her could actually hurt you in court with that reasoning. If the dad wants to see his kid you should allow him to be there in his kids life.
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Sadly with majority of the comments you came to the wrong place to ask for logical advice!
Anyone who thinks it’s not psychological and emotional abuse to allow a so called parent to walk in and out of their child’s life when they feel like it are some kind of messed up!
No wonder so many kids are growing up with mental health issues if this is what a mother or father would tolerate from their ex partners!!!
You are doing the right thing!
Appalled that so many would think it’s OK! Those who gave that advice: YOU should go back to your therapist and tell them you are completely insane! That was and is horrible to even think any child deserves…check your GD morals!!!
If the dead beat can’t commit to their kid to call and be CONSISTENT then kick that to the curb…no court in the world would expect that!!!
Too bad he doesn’t wanna talk to you…he needs to put his big boy underpants on and do what has to be done for his child!!!
You keep protecting your baby and don’t listen to a word of this nasty advice to do otherwise! Whoever says that is showing who they are and its not attractive!!! I SAID WHAT I SAID!! STAY STRONG!
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Are you justified in leaving and in being upset with him for not upholding his end of the agreement? Absolutely! Unfortunately you don’t get to choose how another person parents but you do need to learn how to effectively co-parent with him. You’re not going to agree on everything but weaponizing your child isn’t the answer. She didn’t ask to be brought into this world and is innocent. Whatever ill feelings you have are solely a YOU problem. Grow up.
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My 5 year old has a hard time going to her dads every other weekend, and it’s bc she goes so long without hearing from him, bc he doesn’t reach out to her! I know the feeling, everyone on here bashing you but in reality consistency is key, for my child anyhow. I disagree with not letting her go if she wants to go, in my case my daughter doesn’t want to go. Your not being selfish or controlling for wanting the best for your child, as mamas it’s out job to protect our little ones, physically and emotionally!
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You’re running your own agenda. Just bc he’s not doing what you want doesn’t mean you have the right to keep him away from the child. Take yourself out of it completely. Think of your child not you.
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At the end of the day he chose to just cut contact instead of fighting for his child. So yeah he’s prob not shit.
Haven’t heard from my son’s dad since July and not a cent of child support my ex had me working 3 while he was a stay at home dad (WHILE USING DRUGS) he refused to leave so I started over its hard so so hard but you need to stop worrying about him of COURSE your child deserves more BUT nothing you can do to change that
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Yes, you are in the wrong
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I think you should be happy with him contacting at all I don’t think that consistently contacting means the same amount all the time I just think it’s good he’s checking in how’s school how are your friends what have you been up to let’s go to the park let’s hang out this weekend this is coming from someone who had 2 absent parents who faught yelled took out their pent up anger on their kids and now has a daughter who’s dad doesn’t want her i think about it how I think about my friends we all have busy lives and they can’t be stuck to me like glue but we check in if you’re expecting him to be a full time parent after y’all broke up then you aren’t going to get that he feels his emotions differently than the way you feel yours about the break up he might be salty about the child support if he’s already giving you money however I support that decision bc if he’s killing the bills then you need something to take care of your child and pay the bills he chose not to he also might be out there getting more work I think you and him need to have an adult convo about what’s really going on and instead of pressure to talk to his child I’d let him know how glad you are that he’s in her life and that you’re just worried she’d lose him that your child having her dad is important to you and you just want to share some simple feelings and set boundaries with the money and bills and make sure you’re not dropping the ball with the child
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This was posted a week or two ago too. Written exactly the same way.
My kids dad doesn’t reach out to them at all not even for special occasions …but I call him and encourage him to see the kids … I drive them to him n we hang out for 30 mins every 2 months or so . I don’t like being the one to always make the effort but they wouldn’t see him at all otherwise 
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Wrong. Children are NOT pawns to project “your” unrealistic expectations on in order to have a relationship with the other parent. If he is a good father, he has just as much right as you and she will resent you terribly for this. “Your dad didn’t call when I thought he should so I took his weekends away” Having her every weekend WAS the consistency needed.
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Dump him. Get help from the state. The kid don’t need him in there life.
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I don’t think ure wrong because u’re asking for consistency and stability… And they need that at all times in their life… But how old is ur baby? Maybe he doesn’t need to reach out via phone every day… U can let him know if emergencies arise, but other than that, u can give him a report when he sees the baby on the weekends. U have to get used to there being next to no communication - especially if he’s bitter now - and there really only needs to be communication about ur kids needs/schedule between u guys. I’d rethink the visitation but I’d tell him if he falters on visitation for stupid shit that visitation would change. He HAS to be consistently in her life. Now, that doesn’t mean if something comes up u don’t at least try to work with him - BUT - it has to be something worth not seeing his kid over. But I don’t think ure an asshole at all for asking for complete consistency/stability for ur baby.
I don’t think you are wrong in trying to protect your baby. It is important he is consistent with calling and trying to make an effort in seeing his daughter. I wouldn’t allow half ass parenting either. Either your all in for our child or nothing ! There is no in between! My opinion, good luck.
Everyone offering advice and here I am stuck on a 14,000 power bill.
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If he is a good dad to your child, please do not keep your child from him. I know you are angry with him, but that isn’t your child’s fault. I went through a terrible divorce, went without CS for a year, but never kept our children from their Dad. Their relationship is important. If he isn’t going to be consistent, your child needs to learn that a little at a time and you definitely don’t want to be the “cause/blame” of it.
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You’re in the wrong!!!he works and also has a life it’s not necessary to call every single day!!!you have NO right to stop his visitations just because hes not doing things you want!!
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Expecting him to reach out everyday is a bit excessive then stopping visits due to him not contacting everyday is ridiculous imo. I have a court order where my son goes to his dads every other weekend and gets 1 phone call a week Thursdays at 6. My son is 9 and it’s been this way since he was 2.
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Your situation is sad but you are in the wrong. He don’t have to call her every day that’s ridiculous yes he Hass to be in her life but seeing her on the weekends is just fine every day calling it doesn’t make any sense to me that’s just you being selfish if he’s paying his child support he has a right to see her you can’t stop him from seeing her and if you are he needs to take you to court
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First of all stop using a child as a weapon.
Now, how did you get a $14,000 bill? Is it possible he was paying bills but y’all were living over your means?
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This is the definition of using the child as a pawn. My daughters father was inconsistent for 14 years before he decided to truly be apart of her life but any time he did actually want to see or talk to her, I didn’t insert myself in the name of “protecting her” I let her have those moments with him FOR HER and by age 10ish she was done with him and refused to see him for his inconsistency. Even then, I let her have her way for a bit but I talked to her about forgiveness (again, for her sake not his) and now they have a real relationship. Don’t do this to your daughter. It isn’t right. Of course he’s feeling some type of way right now. He’s adjusting to her being gone and obviously misses her. You can’t call him inconsistent for having a few bad days after being served. Seems like you’re trying to set up a narrative so you can get full custody and I hope the courts see through this.
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So… She’s a baby . And you want him to call a little baby that probably has no clue what the heck a phone is… Sounds to me you still want complete control over him.
Yes. You are wrong.
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You have absolutely no right to keep his child from him because he doesn’t call every day! Get a job and stop being an entitled arse. You do know that a judge is not going to order him to contact the child daily in order to remain a part of the child’s life, right? Because they won’t, no matter how much you demand it. No wonder he quit coming around… I wouldn’t want anything to do with your controlling attitude either.
Wah!
He is reaching out but no enough to appease you…so you cut him off.
Poor kid. This is all about mom not the child. That child is entitled to you BOTH, at separate times. Quit putting your own feelings first and let him be a dad.
SELFISH.
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You left some important details out. Like your child’s age. For example if she’s only 2-3 she may be distracted on the phone and it’s not the easiest to talk to them lol. Also is he still working 40 plus hours a week? Does his schedule line up with your child’s awake time frame or daycare time and so on. And honestly, he was getting her EVERY weekend? That’s amazing honestly. If you went through courts they would set up every other weekend and maybe one day a week. And he still called at least once a day or every other day? I’m sorry but as split parents, I feel like he wasnt doing bad at all. My son’s father would call once a month. Then once every 3 months until I told him if he could check up even once a week than to stop. I feel that’s justified grounds to with gold a child. My daughter’s dad hasn’t contacted her in almost 3 years. That’s justified to no contact. I guess I just can’t understand your end considering I’ve seen my children hurt and crying for months at a time compared to your child still seeing their father what was every weekend until you decided it wasn’t good enough… I don’t think you understand what being single means, or split means.
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Parental alienation…legal term and you’re doing it. You can be taken to court.
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Oh BTW the child figures it out by adulthood who the at fault parent is. This will come back and bite you.
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I’m going to start off by saying this. If you are getting help from the state. Put your child in daycare and apply for care4kids and get yourself a job to help pay for those bills if your ex is so far behind that it is affecting him to the point of being able to provide a stable home for your daughter! Second, what makes you think he can pay you child support if he can’t even pay rent?
Stop expecting this man who is not your boyfriend or husband to take care of YOU! Because it is not his responsibility anymore. His sole responsibility is to take care of your daughter and he can not do that if you are being petty and selfish!
Lastly, he should call his daughter on a daily, but is probably not doing so because of YOU! YOU are making it impossible for him so carry on a loving, stable environment for her because of YOUR selfish WANTS AND NEEDS.
Get off your high horse, get a job and help yourself, & your daughter!
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Every day is a little much you shouldn’t keep his child from him because you set conditions if he’s wants her and wants to see her you should let him unless he is abusive or on drugs she will end up resenting you in the long run
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How did you have State assistance while your husband was working a full time job??
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You are using your child as a weapon, quit it. Children don’t need to be put in the middle of adult issues. She is innocent in the situation. So he was reaching out but not enough, so you cut him off completely. People are allowed bad days, or even weeks. You need to keep that way of communication open otherwise your child will resent you. It’s a hard lesson to learn but children have to learn the hard way that the other parent isn’t there otherwise you’ll be blamed for them not having a connection with their father.
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I’m having trouble getting past the 14,000.00 power bill. IMO you are focusing on the wrong misdoings. Unreasonable to expect contact everyday…. Personally, I would want him out of her life and mine. He sounds very irresponsible to me.
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Bit obsessive and controlling don’t you think?
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So you had state assistance and lived with a working man. That’s fraud in my state.
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So let me get this straight ? If he doesn’t call his child every day or more he can’t see his child? You are selfish and using control and you are only hurting your child. Grow up
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I’m sorry but you do realize. He has rights. And can get them without contacting you daily.
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If he files motion for visitation, courts will allow it if he’s not paying support. You could be found guilty of parent alienation
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You are not wrong at all. Stay strong
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All over money 
take money away and what’s the problem with him being a dad? You stopped him, he didn’t stop? This is only going to effect one person and that’s your child. Dads have rights too, dads also struggle too.
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Your in the wrong. You can’t withhold the child.
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Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. Do what you have to do for you and your child. If he doesn’t step up to be that father figure then don’t waste your time. That’s on him. You’re doing the right thing mama, stay strong and get help elsewhere! We do not need men to take care of us or children when they are acting childish themselves!!
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You should never have stopped him from wanted to seeing his child. That’s terrible. He might have been a bad partner but if he was still making attempts to see the child that’s what matters most.
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You should of gotten a job when things were getting behind
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My sons father owes 17,000 for child support
He doesn’t call everyday… my son is 7 and I get it, BC his father doesn’t call more than once a week. My son loves his dad and I would never hold my child from seeing him. Don’t make your child suffer BC of your issues with the father.
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Yea your in the wrong. Your child should never be a pawn and you should never take your feelings towards the other out on the kids. When my parents divorced, my mom never talked bad about my dad in front of me. No matter her feelings towards him she always told me it was my decision on whether i wanted a relationship with him. We don’t have one these days because he doesn’t give a 
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To me it sounds like you are trying to be consistent for you! Not your child. If he is spending every weekend with her regardless of contact every day then he is being a dad! He is still consistent with his child. Even if it isn’t every day!! I have a child that doesn’t even talk to his dad at all and that’s at my child’s request. He is old enough to decide that. My middle son spends every weekend with his dad and his dad doesn’t call during the week at all. I do not say he can’t have him because of that. He is a damn good dad and does a lot for his son. To me it just sounds like you want control over all of it and making your child suffer. I think you really need to sit back and think about what you are doing. If it hurting you more or your child with taking the weekends away just because he doesn’t call during the week!
He doesn’t need to call on YOUR days in order to get his visitation. Sorry not sorry.
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Y’all can’t even afford to be a single income household 
get a job
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Let him see the child… withholding her due to not call everyday (your terms) is petty. His putting in the work to keep in contact (not everyday as people get busy).
Also keep kids out of adult issues. His past wrong doings shouldn’t be reasons to affect his contact with his child (unless its child abuse).
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I’ve been separated from my son’s father for 10 years. I haven’t had child support in over a year and have never had consistent payments. My son still gets to go over there every other weekend, AND we still get along. Yes, he’s missed weekend back in the day, but it’s not MY responsibility to make sure he’s responsible. Your child should never lose out because of disagreements between mom and dad. He also DOES NOT need to call everyday because YOU say so… that’s insane. Nobody is saying that he’s in the right, but you are very clearly making the most wrongs at this point. Stop using your child like that, and stop trying to have control when you aren’t even together. NEVER be the reason your daughter misses out on seeing her father.
Next thing, you are no longer together. It is YOUR responsibility to pay for yourself and your daughter. Yes, he should send over some money to help with bills, but you are the primary parent, now. Especially if you’re getting government assistance… get your child in daycare and start working. You’re the provider.
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14,000 electric bill? Seems high,
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You are wrong in several ways. You are trying to punish him by using your child against him because he doesn’t do things the way you want him to. It hurts your child way more than it hurts him.
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Child support and visitation are 2 separate issues in my state. Children need to have a relationship with their father. Your rule of daily contact is absurd. Hopefully this dad gets a lawyer. He has rights. You need a job or go back to school for training. Your daughter needs to see you being self-reliant. You do not need to rely on a man to take care of you.
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You leave him.but you want him in your life for your DAUGHTERS sake .you can’t force love.you stopped contact becouse you thought he should be more consistent.seems it more about YOU than her.
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Get a job, stop being petty, and grow up.
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Your daughter is loosing out .
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So, let me get this straight…he was seeing her every weekend but you stopped that because he wasn’t calling her everyday during the week? How does that even make sense to you? Smdh.
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Okay so things got behind and you didn’t get a job to help support your child? You’re a mother, when you have to get up and provide you get a job. Second, it doesn’t matter if things worked out with him or not, you don’t use money and your mind control games against him. No one would want to co parent with anyone like you, it’s impossible. Put money aside, what kind of father is he? Does he love his child? Did he provide? That’s what matters. You’re withholding a child because of some crazy idea you put in your head. Let him be a father without you right there, you be a mother without him right there. Dads have rights just as you do, stop only thinking about yourself. You’re not even thinking about the child at this point. Back off and let him be a father as your child deserves. There’s no room for your personal feelings when it comes to co parenting. Do better for your child, no kid should suffer because of a parents games.
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Your poor daughter 
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This is common. Get a legal parenting plan and a job. Expect him not to pay. You’ll probably have to deal with this for years. In my state, you cannot stop the visitation for nonpayment of child support.
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Sounds to me you want something stable for you child, nothing wrong with that. He should be thankful you love your child enough to walk away. You stay strong, he has a choice to call or not to, if he chooses not to it his loss. Your just gonna have to be both mom and dad and make sure she doesn’t want for nothing. Plus he sounds like a total loser and you’re both better off with him gone. Wish you luck stay strong.
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He’s probably tired of hearing you nagging every freaking time he calls, have you thought about that ??? AND GET A JOB!!!
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You took weekends away cause he wasn’t calling her twice a day that make Zero sense and you hurting your daughter. Seems getting her every weekend is consistent, you took that away over some pettiness about phone calls. So you took her consistent time with her father away, the thing your complaining about in him.
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Stay strong, you did the right thing 
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Yeah you’re in the wrong. Let your child see her father.
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Your child will grow up to resent you and cut you out of their life if you continue this.
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You sound INSANE !
Also get a job!
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You are controlling and lazy. Your poor daughter will be a pawn for the rest of her life with parents like this.
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You’re wrong girl. Don’t nitpick the effort that he’s putting in. There’s a certain lane we have to stay in as coparents. Dropping any expectations other than ones you both verbally agreed on is 100% necessary.
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It’s women like u that causes children to be fatherless! Congratulations ur destroying ur daughter!!!
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