First, state assistance isn’t something you should be relying to live off of forever so hopefully you have a plan to get a stable job and income to wean off the system.
Second, no matter the relationship you and her father have should never become the reason she doesn’t see her father. He helped make her. Unless he’s putting her in danger there’s really no reason to keep her from him.
Yes you are very much in the wrong. #1 stop using your child for leverage. If you don’t call, you can’t see bs. Since the baby is still little, they can’t talk wout you involved making this ALL on your terms. Get on your feet, find a sitter/daycare, everywhere is hiring, and become a independent woman.
Sadly, you will be in the wrong in the courts eyes should it go to court. I went 2 years with no “child support”, and stopped my girls from seeing their father for 2 months due to alarming calls I was getting from HIS friends worried for mine and the girls lives. When it all went to court, I was still ordered to allow the girls to go see their dad every other weekend. He would also go days without calling, but then would get mad at our oldest daughter for not calling. Through court, visitation was still set for every other weekend, he had to make up all the time he missed (that I kept them), and I now get a whopping $120/month in child support for 2 children. The only thing that was said was the children weren’t responsible for making contact, he was. As a mother, when he fell short on bills I got a job, and eventually 2 jobs so my kids wouldn’t go without. Don’t let your children suffer because you’re hurt, or may want to be petty. It gets you no where. And if your child is anything like mine, she’ll see which parent was there and consistent. And THAT is more rewarding than any amount of child support, or utility bills you could EVER have.
Let him see them when you can. When they get older they will make their own minds up and will know who will be there for them. 
Sperm donor and father are 2 different things. What did he do with his money, what could be a good excuse for a 14000 elec bill, if he cared he’d show it, he doesn’t. A child deserves consistency from a parent but also in life, hes shown you hes not a good man, a good father, hes hiding. This is what they do when they realize they’re being exposed and will have to account for something, they ghost us and hide…get away and have a fresh beginning without him.
Are you serious? Things change day to day. Not everyone has time to be calling twice a day every single day. That’s a little ridiculous.
Lots of places are hiring!! You need to swallow your pride and find a job to support yourself
We never call during eachothers time like that. Consistency is taking his days not calling everyday and your not allowing him to be consistent by taking his days away
I went through almost the same thing with my sons dad. My son is now 10 and doesn’t know who his dad is. Kids need consistency. His dad chose drugs over my kid and hasn’t paid child support but maybe 1 year his whole life.
Yep what everyone said… You are wrong to keep child away from her daddy…
If y’all are not together and coparenting why do you feel like he should contact your phone for yalls daughter every single day? That’s a little much. I understand you want him in your daughters life but it seems like you yourself are subconsciously missing him and you yourself wanna hear from him on a daily basis. All in all, don’t press him, you said you have state assistance so just put him on child support and get a hearing to establish custody matters
This is so controlling . Isn’t the getting her every weekend consistent ? He does not have to call everyday, that’s not a reason to not be able to see his child . You are wrong and controlling and manipulative. Imagine your child asking you why they stopped going to see their dad and ur answer is “ well he was getting u every weekend but I stopped that cause he wouldn’t call u 2 times a day “ that child will resent you ! Let her see her dad !!!
He is human too … mistakes are going to be made by both of you along the way. But to punish him bc he isn’t living up threw your “standards” for real? Your daughter needs him just as much as she needs you. Think about your daughter not yourself …
I totally understand how you’re feeling. But you can’t force him to be a father. It’s up to him to call his kids, not you. And if he keeps it up, your child will eventually see his lack of care and attention on their own.
You are definitely in the wrong. Man is working hard and shouldn’t have to play games on the phone with you.
Let your child see her father. You are absolutely in the wrong here. We didn’t need the entire backstory of why you guys aren’t together, that has nothing to do with you not allowing her to see her father. You never mentioned that he was abusive or doesn’t know how to take care of her, you’re literally not letting them see eachother over phone calls. Knock it off.
Yes you are in the wrong.
And if you keep this up, he’ll fight you in court and then you won’t won’t able to control him anymore.
You cannot control this person any more so stop trying.
You’re both wrong. But you’re specifically asking if you are wrong. Yes, you a terribly wrong for keeping your child away from her father because he won’t call her every day. You are preventing them bonding on the weekends because of your expectations. I can’t say enough how incredibly wrong and selfish you are being. I’m sure there is more to the story but your pettiness is gross.
You can’t make him be a good dad. You can give him advice, express your feelings, but at the end of the day you are hurting your child by alienating him as a parent.
Consistency is him seeing her when he’s supposed to. You’re in the wrong by not letting him see her. Parents don’t need to call daily, especially two times a day, during the other parents time. You sound controlling. It may not be intentional and be coming from a good place… but still controlling.
Also, the light bill being cut off, eviction notices etc is your responsibility too. Who cares what you agreed on, you step up be a mother and take care of your child and help w bills. Good grief
Yes I truly believe you are in the wrong child support has nothing to do with child visitation you’re two different things and as long as he’s playing an effort into seeing your child and being there except whatever he is offering she will grow up to resent you for not letting her see her dad again that’s just my opinion I hope it all works out for you
If he was taking her on the weekends that was consistent and YOU stopped that.
Yes. You’re in the wrong. You stopped His in person visits bc he didn’t call enough? Understand when you punish him… you’re punishing your child as well.
Here’s where I am at my child’s father contacts her by texting good morning and good night and sometimes asks about her day. I say it’s better than nothing at this point. He asks to see her and I let her choose if she wants to go or not. It has been a struggle to get to this point in the last 3 years. Hopefully seeing my ordeal you will see it’s ok to let your child go with dad when he wants because it may get consistent or not but at least your child sees you working out your differences the right way.
You are NOT in control of HIS actions. It’s not your place to decide how HE parents his child.
Be thankful it was even once a day. My sons father couldn’t care less to check up on either of his boys. He has both mine and his older sons moms number and he can use fb or snap, and he chooses not to reach out to check on his kids. So yes, you’re in the wrong. Can’t always be what you want when you want it. Once a day is better than nothing at all.
You’re definitely in the wrong
I feel like you are in the wrong and still mad at whatever was between y’all. He still has to work and live life too, as long as he pays child support, he should be able to see her, she doesn’t have her own phone, so he still has to go through you, and that’s probably the problem he doesn’t want to deal with you
You gave the man flaming hoops to jump through and now are keeping your child because he didn’t get through them like you wanted? You the Asshole for sure. Y’all are EQUAL parents and until you see that, your child will always suffer.
Unless your child isn’t safe while with him you are dead wrong! He’s her father & a father is just as important to a child as a mother. You keep up with these games & hes going to fight you in court. Best of luck to your daughter. Hopefully you see all these people saying you are wrong & grow up in time for her relationship & bond to be repaired from the damage you’re causing.
Stop WHINING.
You had a child. So get a job and take care of it .
I raised mine 4 without State Aid (welfare)…
My neighbors didn’t have to support them.
SUCK IT UP.
Not all ADULTS are parents.
You are completely in the wrong. Let your child see her father. What if those shoes were reversed, and it was you in his position, would you want to be controlled to when you could see your child? You don’t have to do anything because your child will see on her own who is there and who isn’t but I can promise if you interfere with their relationship, your child will grow up to hate you. I’m speaking from personal experiences. Thank God my mother never intervened because I grew up to understand.
My ex doesn’t talk to our kids daily and that’s ok. Not allowing your child to see their father is only hurting them. Do they talk to all of their grandparents daily? Or their aunts and uncles? They don’t live with your child and definitely not talking to them daily and that doesn’t make them any less of a role in your child’s life. Whatever your resentment and anger is towards your ex should never affect how your child views their father. When they are older and they feel like he isn’t consistent and etc. they can decide if they want a relationship with him or not, don’t be that mom that your kids have to heal from in therapy
My kids don’t hear from their dad’s daily but I still let them go on weekends, you may not be over him and maybe some part of you wants to hear from him daily
Wow! You have a dad who is being dad and you stop it because you dont think he calls enough. You are definitely in the wrong here. Honestly, if he took it to court you would be the one in trouble for not allowing child to see the father because you dont think he calls enough. That is not a good reason to stop his visitations. My ex was an alcoholic, was proven to be driving drunk with our child in the car and I still had to let him have his visitations, when he showed up. Be glad you have a dad who wants to be in the child’s life, but if you keep up with the pettiness of what you think is acceptable, more than likely the dad is gonna walk away from child so he dont have to deal with you or take you to court and prove you are keeping child away for no good reason and in the end, he would get custody. Grow up and let him be a dad if he wants to be a dad. He has a job and responsibilities,hes probably tired, you said you dont work and get government help, why dont you reach out to him and let him know how child is doing if you feel he needs updates, but honestly, in my opinion, you sound like you just want to control him and what he does and if you dont like the outcome then you are holding child away from him and in the courts, that is really frowned upon
Yes I think you are wrong. You can’t make him be a good dad. You can’t keep his child from him because you are mad at him
He will take you to court and win. I’m not saying he’s right at all…
Pick up the phone and call him… Hand the phone to your daughter. Why make her suffer? Where’s the adults should not be dragging children to the mud just because things didn’t work out with us… I’m a firm believer of that it’s like you tying a rope around your children’s ankles and dragging them through the mud and that’s not how it should be. If he doesn’t call at a certain time or whatever then have her call him that’s all it’s pretty simple. And I’m sorry for you that he was inconsistent with paying bills because that’s rough on the emotions however you could have both gone to counseling and made it so that you paid the bills. I was with someone who told me that he wasn’t good paying the bills and he would work and hand me the paycheck and I would deposit it and pay the bills and then when he needed money he would just tell me how much he wanted.
You have absolutely no right to stop him from seeing her. You both need a court arrangement set up to make sure everyone does what they are suppose to.
Um, if my husband and I kept his daughters from their mother for lack of contact throughout the week, she’d never see them.
Yikes…a judge would disagree with your actions. You are in the wrong! I hope he takes you to court/mediation to get a visitation schedule.
You are in the wrong. Daily???
My daughter’s father hasn’t seen or spoken to her in over 5 years (she’s 6) and she has no idea who he is, bcs he chose to walk away. You have a man who may not call everyday, but still sees her every weekend and you think that isn’t enough? Please grow up and stop using your child as a pawn.
Money has nothing to do with visitation. If he’s a good dad, he has every right to see her
I dont think you’re wrong unless he had reached out to see her obviously he doesn’t care that much
Yes you’re in the wrong. You can’t just stop his visits because you feel he should call every day. My children had no contact during the week but still went to their fathers on his weekends.
You are dead wrong. Just wow.
Not wrong, but you need to move on. Let him move on and if he was not a responsible person while you were together, how can he be now that you’re apart. Get a job, raise your child and if he is good to the child, let him have visitation.
Not many parents who don’t live with their child call them twice a day or even once a day–but if he was taking her every weekend I would say he was a pretty consistent parent so not sure why you think you would have the right to take that away from him.
My older two haven’t seen their “dad” in almost 11 years. So me not letting them go see him alone if he reached out would be right. You, you aren’t doing this right. Let the man see his daughter. There are so many men who want to be there but can’t because the other parent won’t let them.
Children are smart. It is your child’s right to see and know her father. His being inconsistent will tell its tale in the future. Your child will always love him but there will come a time when your child won’t want to go with him. They will have other activities and friends they would rather spend their time with.
Yeah, I don’t think this is the way to go, I left my oldest son’s father 6 years ago when our son was only 3, we do tha standard state visitation, I can’t say that I would make him call our son every day, he’s sees him every week, and spends every other weekend at his dad’s, and his dad does pay child support, but honestly I wouldn’t want him calling everyday, I hate having to see him and talk to him, but we stay civil for our son, I just think your going a little over board with the expectations you have of him
Wtffff. My daughter goes to see her dad always no matter if he contacts her during his off time or not. You are def in the wrong and a judge will not agree with this. She will more than likely grant him much more time. They don’t need to hear from them daily. They need to see them to build that relationship and spend time with them.
Your definitely in the wrong. I would kill for my daughter father to reach out and see her. It’s been two years since she seen him and MONTHS since she talked to him.
Yeah a Judge is gonna chew you up… you could even lose custody because you’ve stopped visitations and are causing Parental alienation. The child is HIS also… you don’t get to call all the shots and be in control.
Also, how exactly were you getting assistance if he worked full time? Were you claiming to not be living with him to get it?
Who is anyone to tell you ?
It is between you and your husband …obviously.
dont use your kid as a weapon to get what you want
We’ve been through all the above with my previous marriage. My kids are 13,15, so they have there own phones. They have his number and he has there’s. I let it be up to the kids whether they want to talk or not. I know coming in and out is not good and I agree with be consistent or nothing. But i found out the hard way depending on there age, let the child have the contact and he can have there’s because at the end of the day the child will realize you did everything you could but he still was absent.
Sounds like both of y’all need to grow up and get it together honestly because y’all both sound really childish!
Feel free to private message me with any questions. We’ve been through it all!
You’re being ridiculous. Let that baby see her dad. She is the one that will suffer the most because you think you’re “punishing” her dad. She should be able to go be with him when it’s his time, regardless of whether or not he calls her daily. I bet you’re a peach to be around 
He is a bum. Forget about it!
His relationship is not your responsibility. It’s his. You broke up with him and you get to move on with your life. If he wants to see his kid he needs to take you to court and get a schedule. You need to let him move on too. He doesn’t have call. Because when he calls he has to talk to you and maybe he doesn’t ever wanna hear your voice again. All he has to do is think about his kid and get her for visits.
When I left my ex, he called 3x a day. Our son was too little to talk so I was stuck having all the convos. I finally said no more calls because he was just using them to hang on to me. He still gets visitation. Now our son is old enough to talk but busy with activities etc when dad calls. So we don’t do phone calls because they’re just a hassle for everyone involved. But dad is still consistent in his life. The only reason I would ever keep him from his dad is if I felt he was unsafe going over there. I’m not necessarily thrilled with everything that goes on at dad’s house but my child is safe and happy, so I step back and let them have their relationship without much interference. That’s how you coparent.
How old is your daughter? Let her decide decisions like this if she’s old enough. I let my daughter decide everything and her dad completely agrees with it, she’s 6. She has a gizmo watch so they can call each-other as much as they want. If she doesn’t call and he doesn’t that’s none of my business. It’s her dad, not mine. She decides the weekends she sees him, which is every weekend. She decides if she stays the night or not, she never does bc she likes to sleep with me. I just let her make the calls on her life and he does too.
You are 100% in the wrong & could get in a lot of trouble if he chose to take you to court, no parent needs to call daily that wont build a relationship… your child visiting and making memories with the father will.
It sounds like a guilt trip if you ask me, let that man be a father.
In the wrong for sure, just cause he doesn’t contact daily your stopping a relationship, a bond with her father. In years to come this will surface and your daughter will know the truth about why she didn’t see her dad and know it was your doing and she will resent you. My mom had every reason to keep me from my dad(he beat my mom) but he never hurt us kids and she let him see us when ever he wanted to. Looks like you are finding anything to break off ties cause he hurt you
It’s not up to you to decide when he can and cannot see his child. If you guys have court ordered visitation in place then the courts would have you as in the wrong. If you don’t he may be radio silent cause he’s planning on taking you to court to get a visitation schedule in place that you don’t get to control. And if he has evidence of you telling him she can’t see his child then that’ll work against bad.
If he’s trying at all and you know that he will take care of your daughter when she’s in his care, then you should let him have his visitation. You can’t control everything. A girl needs her dad in her life. From a woman who has dealt with “daddy issues” all my life, you don’t want to do that to your daughter.
Haha your trying to make someone do what you want them to do and hold the kid as a weapon. Your in the wrong his relationship with her has Nothing to do with you and your wants!
My kids dad will go weeks without calling or checking on them… but you bet your butt when he does show up I make sure they spend time with him. It’s not their fault he is flaky. He’s a decent dad when he’s present so I know they are safe with him. But I could never just keep them from him for not calling
Don’t punish the kid just because you want to be petty. He doesn’t need to call 2 times a day. My ex will message and ask how the girls are and I tell them they are good. And that’s that unless something comes up. Occasionally they facetime if it’s a week he isn’t getting them. I like it this way. If the girls ever want to FaceTime daddy, they ask and I will message him to make sure he is in a place he can talk.
You took his consistent visits away because he stopped calling everyday? Yes that’s wrong. Your child does deserve to talk to her dad everyday, yes. BUT you can’t force him to call her and you can’t take visits away just because he doesn’t call everyday. That’s not your responsibility. But it is your responsibility to allow him to see her at the agreed upon times. I know that as a mom you can’t imagine going 1 day without talking to your child and you don’t understand how he can go days or weeks without talking to her but that’s his responsibility and his stuff to deal with not yours. Men are different like that. But as long as he wants to and is seeing the child for consistent visits that’s the consistency you have the right to demand. Now if he was in and out and not taking his daughter on his days and only wanted her on holidays or whenever he felt like it that’s different. That’s when you would have the right to demand consistency for the well being if your child’s mental state. But phone calls, no.
Y’all are missing point the MAN RACKED UP BILLS to power being shut off, when the mother left started having contact with his daughter to then stop due to being asked for child support, the judge is gonna look at him like a fall down who can’t care for a home and make sure the bills are paid on time and picks and chooses when it’s convenient for him to get a hold of his child smfh y’all need some help and FAST 
Just because he isn’t contacting her like a father should doesn’t mean you should hold her against him. Do your part as a mother and as she grows she’ll make her own choices.
Don’t ask someone to do something that they know they should do. You want him to genuinely care. That doesn’t come from begging, I would leave it alone. I know your heart hurts for your little girl, but you gotta take the stress off of YOURSELF. You’re going through a lot. But yeah don’t ask him to do anything
Your so wrong, and also if your going to collect public assistance and stay home that is wrong too! Public assistance is a hand up, not a HAND OUT!
My ex walked out on us (Kids and I) 10 years ago. We have 4 kids together. He sees them for their bdays, father’s day and Christmas. He doesn’t really call them. When he comes to visit they do have an ok time now. In the beginning it was war and when my oldest went through early teenage years. But their relationship with their father is just that their relationship. I do hear my kids out when they have complained but as I expressed to them long ago. Unfortunately this is all he can give them. It doesn’t mean it’s right or fair or correct. I reminded them that they are amazing kids and I am super proud of them. When it comes to the daily contact do I don’t see an issue with your ex not calling. I don’t believe you should deny your daughter the chance to spend time with him unless she is being harmed or like being dropped off at someone else’s house.
My mother denied me of my time with my father and even after I became grown and tried to reach out it was to late. You cannot impose your views in how he parents. Is it fair, right correct? No but what matters is the hopefully the time he does have with her is meaningful.
That is the only way YOU still have control over you are controlling his relationship with his daughter that is awful get over yourself
You took that mans daughter from him because he wouldn’t contact her daily??? That’s horrible. If he was getting her on the weekends then you are definitely in the wrong.
Lady, how many more signs do you need? He’s garbage. At least value yourself not hang onto something like that. He doesn’t have any values.
So for the rest of her life until she’s 18, he isn’t allowed to see her unless he calls you everyday to check up on her? That’s insane. The only contact he needs with you is for pick up/drop offs. He doesn’t owe you anything but that honestly. I’d suggest mediation and get a set schedule cause he’s going to take you to court for his own rights to see his kid.
You should be thankful that he’s trying to contact her at all. Neither of my children’s fathers reach out to our kids…do you realize how hard it is seeing your almost 6 year old daughter cry bc she doesn’t understand why her daddy wants nothing to do with her but as all the time in the world for 3 out of his 7 kids, and then being the only parent in the room as the doctor comes in to tell you that they found a tumor in your 12 year olds leg, and again having the other parent not care or want to be there for her…parenting isn’t easy by no means, but I’d give anything to have my kid’s fathers support and be there for them.
There are so many things wrong here, I can’t even begin to count. First on the list is Public assistance fraud, then refusing to let your child go with him for weekends (that, btw, can cause you to lose custody in some states), and setting up these arbitrary “rules” for him to be able to have contact? Be thankful he hasn’t already taken you to court over all of this. Fathers have rights to their children.
So if he doesn’t call your phone for her daily then he doesn’t care about her and shouldn’t see her? That’s very controlling on your part. The court never demands daily contact and there is if he’s not abusive to her and wants to see her on his days then you should allow that. Stopping his weekends bc he doesn’t call your phone for her everyday is wrong.
You can’t force someone to be a parent- just make sure you’re staying consistent with her- she will learn who showed up and who didn’t when she’s older
Id suggest mediation and a set schedule or a judge will
That is a lot more than most fathers do. You cannot say that he cannot get her on weekends because he does not call her everyday. When you go for child support, the judge will tell you that. It sounds like you need to get a job and not depend on him. The fact that your electricity was turned off and owed $14,000 is one reason you need to work. That was bad on his part. But that is not a reason to keep his child from him.
Obviously yall couldn’t afford for you to be a sahm if you had to get assistance. Why didnt you just go to work. Forget the agreement.
Your wrong on this one hun I didn’t even talk to my parents everyday when I lived with them as long as he’s willing to take her n spend time with her let him that’s better then most dads do
I’ll add this to most everyone’s do not bad mouth or bash him to her, be civil without controlling and let her form he relationship &
Opinions of him
Y’all need a solid plan of who has her what days. She will see who is there for her and who is not. My kids dad and I don’t talk at all only for drop-off/ pick-up scenarios. Do whats best for her but I don’t think keeping her from him will set y’all off on the right foot for coparenting.
Wrong! And while those bills were being racked up and you knew an eviction was looming over your family’s head for the THIRD time, why didn’t you get a job? Perhaps going to work once your then husband came home so childcare wasn’t a concern? Or going back to school to further your education (online is an option) and using grant funds to cover the cost? I hope I’m missing something from your post and that you did in fact step up to better your family and the situation. I hope you’re in a place now that is financially secure and you’re not still waiting on this same man to fix everything and yet listen to what you “want”.
Go get a job. As far as expecting to call a baby/toddler daily? That’s you wanting to talk to him not the child. Don’t get it twisted.
I would hope that you’re independent now, have a job and are able to support you and your daughter without state assistance. Always do what is best for your daughter. If he’s a good dad, you should let them visit. If he’s on drugs or a bad person then you should protect your daughter. Stay focused and always choose what’s best for her whether you’re getting child support or not.
When my children’s father and I split up, he got the kids every weekend. He would call maybe once throughout the week to talk to them and check in. I think keeping her from her father just because he doesn’t check in once or twice a day seems excessive. Unless he is a danger to her or neglects her I would still let him see her. Not making any excuse for him “stopping contact” whatsoever. But maybe he’s trying to figure out how to deal with you in this situation. You’re not making it easy on him.
You’re Not Wrong Momma. 
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It sounds like Dad is just not as consistent as you would like him to be. While I do agree if the roles were reversed here that comments would look a lot different! If he’s still in contact atleast weekly & wants to visit her on the weekends then please don’t deny your child that! There are some children that have absent parents so be thankful he is making an attempt to be in touch & visit her! Kids don’t necessarily want to talk on the phone several times a day especially if she is little!
if you hold said child from dad, your child will resent you in the long run from keeping them away. females need to stop thinking about themselves when it comes to their child/children 
it ain’t about you anymore, it’s about that child!