Sounds like he was waiting for a reason to disappear anyway momma. Just don’t be bitter or talk bad in front of your baby. Keep doing what your doing and it’ll play out.
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**PARENTAL ALIENATION!! You can’t withhold visitation. There was a lot of mistakes made, on both sides, but it’s a baby. Expecting him to call daily is absurd. That’s you in your feelings wanting to talk to him. My son’s father would disappear for 6 months to a year at a time, finally went to court again, and Guess what, judge told me, it’s not my decision. YOU EACH HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS TO THAT CHILD.
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Im w you Mom. You are required to be with and take care of and all these things every day, but he isnt?? Whyyyyy is it that everyone, ESPECIALLY women, that think its ok for fathers to breathe in their childrens direction and that is all he has to do? He helped make the chuld2. Jesus christ guys, hold him accountable for a change
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This is how I feel. I know not everyone will agree and I understand but, I think not letting her see her dad on weekends, is intended to punish him but it really hurting your daughter and eventually she could grow up and resent you for it. It’s not a good thing to use your children to try to get the other parent to do as they are supposed to do. I know you love your daughter and you are only trying to protect her but I think in the long run it will hurt her more then it will him. This is just my thoughts on this. I’m so sorry he did this to you. It’s good that you did get out of that situation. Best of luck to you and your daughter
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Unfortunately you can’t legally keep her from him because he isn’t paying cs and or contacting her. Courts DO NOT see it that way. In the long the child is the one being hurt .
I would need to know if he’s a danger to the child… if not, his financial responsibility or lack there of that you feel is important could be coming from a deeper issue. If his finances are troubling then it’s time to become independent and get your finances to a point of being able to do it without him (it looks better on you in the long run). As far as him seeing the baby, if it’s safe, allow him to have weekends or even evenings he will be forced financially to provide in those times. Best of luck to you all.
If she’s a toddler/baby, he’s texting YOU, not her. That isn’t him stopping an effort to talk to her. Because he isn’t talking to HER.
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You’re wrong. That’s not a valid reason to withhold your child from their dad. It’s not uncommon for split households to not apeak with their kids daily.
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Don’t ever keep your child away from her father unless he is unsafe, that isn’t the case and you’re being petty, you are the one doing this to your child and it is sad so please stop.
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Idk honestly I mean I don’t hear from my bd everyday but he gets busy and so do I. So, I get it. He may not call everyday but we do hear from him frequently and I know he’s trying. So, in my opinion. I don’t agree with going about it this way. That’s still her father and if he’s not a danger to her. They should be allowed to be around each other and get to spend time together. If it was me, I would not withhold her from him and I know we don’t play that in my house.
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Unless the father is not safe with your child, I wouldn’t put any restrictions on how he can see his kid. When your child grows up you want them to know that you did everything you could to let him have a relationship with his dad.
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It’s not up to you to decide when someone gets to spend time with THEIR child, or when someone needs to call them. That’s petty and this kind of stuff happens too much. Overbearing babymommas that try to rule the entire show make it hard for the father to try to be around for their kids. It gets easier when you realize that you can’t actually control the entire situation and you let go of it.
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You cant force him to be a dad or a good person sometimes kids are better off without toxic neglectful parent…
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Move on…he is an adult and responsible for a relationship with his child. Since he didn’t hold up his responsibilities when the baby was born, it seems he is becoming a “Dead Beat Dad” as well. Look into a court order to get child support/garnish wages for your child. In time it won’t be you that is keeping him from contact with your child(his choice), but him that the child will resent for his negligence of concern and contact with her.
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Although it sucks he isn’t consistent, you can’t legally withhold the child from the father. My daughter doesn’t talk to her dad daily. He gets her every other weekend and occasionally she calls him during the week. He never calls her. But that’s his child and she loves her dad and who am I to take that away from her? That’s who would be punished the most in this situation. Unless there is solid evidence of abuse or neglect, she should get to see her dad.
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Sounds like just looking for a reason to cut him off life is hectic everybody’s lives are different maybe he just got tired of having to jump threw hoops to meet your demands js
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I can agree that consistency is a priority. BUT, we can not withhold visitation from another parent because they forget to call or whatever. As the child grows they are going to have to form their own opinion of the matter etc. The only thing we can do is be there for our kids and wipe their tears and love them. I had my ex disappeared for 9.5 years, then took me to court for visitation he already had, but demanded now JUST because he was in a new relationship and his girlfriend demanded him be a father. Mind you, my daughter was 18 months when he disappeared, and 11 when he refiled, she didn’t know him, nor could she communicate with him because of the language barrier. The courts didn’t care and still forced her to go. I had no choice but to send her, to keep myself out of jail. Then that relationship only lasted for a couple years and now he is distant with her again, and breaking her heart all over again. She is 14 now, and has her own opinions of the matter, and knows who is there and aint there. She still loves her father because he is her father, but she hates him at the same time and is disrespectful to him for HIS actions. Tho I get on her for that as well. But I now don’t force her to go, she goes on her own free will. And I’ve told him to go ahead and take me back to court if he wishes, because the outcome will be HELLA different, now that they will take her opinions into consideration because of her age. Baby daddy’s are supposed to care for the child, not us AND the child. When we leave, we are no longer a couple, and it’s not mandated for him to take care of you, ONLY his child or children. I am a single mother to 3 kids one is special needs (with no assistance), one is about to graduate and I have NEVER gotten a dollar of child support for him. I’ve always busted my arse to make sure I can provide a roof over our heads. I was doing side jobs, night jobs, and up to 3 jobs at a time to take care of my kids. Exhausted is an understatement of what I was, but I never gave up, and we always had a roof over our heads. It ain’t easy, but it can be done. Dont withhold that man from being a father because he doesn’t message or call everyday. Because phones work both ways, if the child wants to talk, you can simply call him too.
Look if they don’t want to be in their child’s life, you can’t make them. Oneday your child will look back and realize that it was the piece of crap other parent that didn’t reach out to them. My oldest daughter barely speaks to her biological father and she is 18. He dipped out on her around age of 2. It hurts her but she knows it wasn’t her fault. She is a child and it’s up to the parent to be a parent. Let it go. It’s their loss.
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At the end of the day I feel your bitter and gonna hurt your kid when all is said and done just because y’all had financial issues like everyone in the world does cause things happen doesn’t mean to throw that all in the mix that’s where instead of leaving because he couldn’t do a lot for you cause you wanted to stay home you should’ve do what your suppose to do being joint together as one and picked up the slack and got a job as well 
and as far as him not contacting the kid I mean he has to get things together for himself I understand a good morning and stuff is Important and checking on the child but just cause he dint do it daily to your so called terms doesn’t mean to use your child as a pawn and keep the kid away
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Noooooo. You are WRONG. You’re taking your child away from their dad who was taking her on his visit days. Just because you don’t like him or you feel he should be in more frequent contact does NOT give you the right to terminate his visitations.
Give that man his child back.
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Did YOUR Father call you every day? Did YOUR Mother? I was close with both mine but we didn’t talk daily. I think you are wrong. You are doing an injustice to your child and shaping the future relationship with her Father to YOUR liking. I really think you want the control part of defining a Father /Child relation and THAT is not your place.
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I feel like some things are being left out. Women have a tendency to paint men as being the horrible ones. But first of all how old is your daughter?! Does she care about the phone calls… or do you? Is it a chance for you to get him on the phone a rip him a new one Everytime he simply is just trying to speak with his baby…. My SO is a fantastic father! One of the best dads actually and even he does not call his daughter every single day! But we see her on weekends and she has a phone if she wants to talk! Don’t be ridiculous. You sound bitter. You’re going to take your daughters relationship with her dad away all because he doesn’t call day and night day and night…. Maybe he hasn’t called in 2 weeks because he doesn’t want to speak or deal with you.
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Um… its awful how he was not responsible with your living arrangement when you guys were together. I’m not really understanding the call thing.
I think what matters is if he is paying c.s. and consistent with his parent time visits.
I hope you don’t hinder the possible relationship between your child and him because he can’t always call. To be honest, you sound a little controlling about that aspect. I could understand if your worried that he will be consistent with his parent time for visits but unless it’s in the court order to have those calls he may feel like your controlling him so it might backfire, then who gets hurt? Your child bc they’re expecting something that he will refuse.
Personally If my child and I was this father I think the issue you’d have is that I’d call too much! You’d be tired of my calls! But not everyone is built the same, it sounds like he’s pretty immature for the way he treated a family he didn’t appreciate.
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Sounds like you’re just trying to control the situation. Daily is a bit much. No judge would make an order that if he didn’t contact his daughter daily he couldn’t see her on the weekends. Let her go see her dad and stop trying to control the whole situation
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You are wrong in your actions. Your feelings are valid but you can not dictate their relationship, it isn’t fair to your child or the father. If he is going to fail or prosper as a father he needs to do it himself without you blocking the road. In court terms it sounds like you are alienating him and that is not legal.
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First off you are wrong on so many levels first being you watch3d your spouse struggle to pay the bills and instead of helping by making a budget and helping him pay things you left it all on him because you paid for food with free food stamps maybe just maybe his 40 hour a week job wasn’t paying him enough to cover all the bills plus what the household needed gas neccessiries diapers food stamps doent pay for that and if you were getting a tanf check then you were lueing to them about your living situation second you should have gotten a job to help with the bills unfortunately this day and age it almost always takes 2 incomes to run a household if you seen he was struggling and you were on assistance you could have gotten help with electric bills and with rent many resources now days especially if your lieing like it sounds like you were just saying and if you weren’t and you were being honest and reporting his income and that you lived together then obviously he didn’t make enough to cover all things himself so instead of you getting a job and helping him you let him struggle and then left him and took his child because he couldn’t pay the bills alone … that right there is sad on so many levels and you are the reason you are now single and now you are trying to still control him by using the 1 thing he has left his child wich he obviously adores and you are on a power trip from hell how old are you because it sounds to me like you have a lot of growing up to do and as for him calling her everyday and night is absurd no judge is going to take your side in this at all you are petty and I am willing to bet he quit calling and coming around because of you and your outrageous demands smh you do not have the right to take his child from him period unless he is abusive to her and not once did you say he was abusive all you could say bad about him was he couldn’t pay all the bills consistently and well that’s on you also you should have gotten a job and helped yourself and your family but sounds to me like you just want a free ride why work when you can get government housing for free get a utility check to pay towards utilities and get your free insurance and food stamps and sit home all day and still bark and demand things from him smh wether he is paying support or not has absolutely nothing to do with him seeing his child he doesn’t pay support to see his child period you are the reason many men walk away I have watched my husband go through this with his son and his sons mother just like you anything to keep them apart lies theft from state and government and guess what our son is now 26 and has 0 contact with bio mom due to her poor choices she is currently l9cked up with a hold from multiple counties her lies caught up with her and her son seen who was the toxic one and who was there every scheduled visit to get his child even when coos were called and lies said he still went through hell and high water to see his son he even got custody of his daughter then around same time so 20 years later their relationship is amazing and the mother is sitting in jail and missing out on our first grandson and another on the way so see we will reep what we sew and all I can say is hope this father gets a lawyer and gets custody and then turns the tables on you so get a job quit waiting for hand outs and be a productive human being and be an example of hiw to act to your daughter and hiw to take care of yourself instead of teaching her to manipulate the system to fit her agenda you dear need reevaluate your choices and you need to grow up smh I can’t stand someone to use the system and then call someone else out on their poor money decisions like you did your husband you dear are the reason you aren’t married you act like a princess with a beer budget you need to come off that high horse it can get pretty linely up there and yep im being mean and dont care you need someone to be brutally honest with you
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Yes he doesn’t need to talk to her daily. Get custody in place. Give him every other weekend. If he chooses not to exercise his parenting time that’s on him you can’t force him. Unfortunately us mamas do pick up the pieces .
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He does not want to be there and you r making it easy for him to disappear. I wanted to be a sahm too, but someone had to work. State assistance is not a “second income”. It’s fraud.
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You left the relationship. After years of unpaid bills and 3 evictions over 2 years. Your daughters dad went from 2 calls a day to no contact for 2 days after you filed for child support. Then once a day, if that. But he got to see her every weekend, until you put a stop to it because you didn’t feel he was consistent enough. You then told him he needed to prove to you, he could be consistent contacting your daughter and he can see her on weekends again. But he hasn’t contacted you since, which was 2 weeks ago….
You left the dad, so you no longer have a say in how he spends his time…
The Dad pays child support, so is supporting his daughter financially…
The Dad was spending quality, in person time with your daughter every weekend, until you stopped it, cos you don’t believe he’s making enough consistent phone calls…
He’s your daughters father…. Let him be a father to her, the way, he wants to father her NOT the way, you think he should!!! You are her mother, not her father!!! Maybe, that’s where you’re at a loss. IMO!!!
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Everyday is nice but not necessary to show his love for her, consistency doesn’t require everyday, it requires him never missing the important stuff and he never misses his weekends with her. You are the one that choose to cut him off and you need to relax and let him have his time back or he could use it against you
Was he not paying the Bill’s to be an a$$ or was he not paying them because he would forget. My hubby works full time and I’m a sahm mostly but now that my daughters in school I work 2 part time jobs … but even while I was a full on sahm, he’d put the $ in the account and I’D pay the Bill’s to make sure they were paid. Men sometimes don’t think about all those extras which is why us women are like magical fairies 
I feel since he was the one working anyway it’s the least I can do.
My children do not hear from their dad daily. They see him every weekend though.
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Money has Zero with you allowing him to see the child. Furthermore looks like you probably need to get a job and support your daughter. Boys 21 and 16 no state assistance ever and no child support. Both see their father when they want. I went to collage and got students loans and made it work. I never depended on a man.
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You don’t have the right to keep his child from him because he doesn’t call her every day or every 2 days… If he still takes her on his agreed upon days then you are in the wrong.
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You’ll regret this when she’s older. You never want your kids to hate you because you kept them from their other parent, which is what you’re doing. You’ll be seen as the problem, and will have grown children who want nothing to do with you. Let her see him on the weekends. Every day phone calls are not necessary to be a good parent
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Id let him see your kid if he stops off his own back you know hes not worth anything and you can tell your kid when their older you never stopped him seeing them and it was his choice,you cant be to blame.no confusion.my daughter knows her dad doesnt care shes my everything and knows that too.i can say i tried my best to encorage him to be a dad to her and never put anything in his way,my kid has no doubt in her mind whos there and whos not,thats what you should try and achieve i think x
You know you can be in trouble for keeping your child from her dad if the judge already established visitation times. In some states you can go to jail for that.
Dad calling her is a right not an obligation. If he doesn’t Call everyday it’s not an excuse not to le him see the kid.
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I can’t read any more of these ignorant comments
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Sorry you are trying to control him, so long as he hits the large things in her life that is or will be up to him and her. Even if he does not support her (money wise) there is nothing you can do. Besides taking him to court but you can’t control it. Live your life get a job when you walked out on him you no longer have control someday she will handle it her self, just love her
You are stopping him from seeing his kid and if it’s court ordered you are giving him a good case to get primary custody. Also you can’t force anyone to be a parent if they don’t want to be, so give him back his time and leave things alone for your daughters sake. Children should not be used as a punishment, how would you feel if he took her from you.
You are in the wrong regarding your child & her father’s relationship. You do not get to withhold contact over money, or whether you think they talk enough or not. & The court will tell you the same.
If he hasn’t called, hand her the phone after dialing his number & walk away til she’s done. Get her ready for his visits on the weekends. Period.
If you can document abandonment WITHOUT your interference, not based on money, then go to the courts with it.
Until then, it’s your job as a mother to foster as healthy a relationship as possible with her father.
OK here’s the real deal and I’ve been in your place if you’re not afraid of him kidnapping her and disappearing and you are working and not really relying on him let him see her he does not have to call her but let him see her on the court’s visitation. Always encourage her to love her father that because the 2 of you can’t get along is not any reason he couldn’t get along with her they have a relationship and always will if he chooses not to show up or he chooses to not come this weekend and forget the next one and then maybe come on the 4th 1 let him do that she’ll figure it out but never ever stop them from seeing the other parent you always want to encourage the relationship that way it shows her the right side of life It also shows her the bad side and there’ll be tears and there will be crying and we have to pick up the pieces like the other lady said,however it’s easier to show kindness and teach love than it is for her to learn to resent you because she thought you kept him away
I so feel ya, but you are in the wrong. Been there, Know that. I was the same way. I was told by the court, I cannot withold the child, because of non-payment of child support. Child support is not an admission ticket to your child. He eventually moved, and then would only see her, if I sent her to my Mom’s in the summer, and that is when my mom encouraged him to see her. He will eventually grow up. She’s in her 40s now, with her own children, who he has never met. They don’t care, they love their Papa’s, my husband of 36 years., sometimes more than me. He has been there steady rock. It will sort itself out, through the years
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So your keeping her from her dad cause he’s not doing things the way you want.
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You were the one who left.
You are in the wrong…
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Lol maybe he’s trying to get over u & doesn’t want to talk to u. Unless it’s emergency why tf is that such a big deal? He gets her on weekends when u “allow” it. all ur doing is getting him used to being without her and then ur gonna be mad when he’s says he’s busy whatever weekend & can’t get her. Remember u started this. Don’t cry later
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you can’t force someone to be a good parent. Give him some space and quit trying to be so controlling. Go on with your life and take care of your daughter. Not everyone has the same heart…
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Be lucky your kids have a connection with their farther. Some kids dad don’t care to have anything to do with them.
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How can you expect consistency when he does nothing consistently? Unfortunately when you leave you also give your right to control their relationship. My children saw their dad every 2 weeks on the weekend. Did I like it? No. Did I think it was right? No. That was on him. Not me. My kids are grown very successful adults. They see their dad on holidays mostly now but they accept it for what it is. Let it go. YOU be the best parent you can be and let him do his. Don’t deny him his right to see your child if he pays support. They are not ransom. Good Luck!!
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Working 40+ hours a week, paying all the bills, etc. maybe he got over his head trying to do it alone. If you’re eligible for state aid then he obviously doesn’t make much money so is there a reason why you couldn’t work part time even from home to help out? Sounds like he tried, at least for awhile, to stay in contact with her and took her on the weekends but that wasn’t enough for you. Of course consistency is important but if he gets slack or drama every time he calls then maybe that’s why he doesn’t call. Stopping the visitation, if he is a good dad, is wrong in my opinion. It only hurts the kids. I don’t believe it’s right to drag kids into adult issues. Maybe let him talk to your daughter without all the drama and in peace and maybe he will be more consistent. Keep the adult issues between the adults and don’t use the kids as a way for revenge 
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Yes, you are in the wrong. If he was keeping up with his weekend visits, it’s not up to you how often he contacts the child.
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You have control issues
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So I’m going to get some hate I’m sure but do you work now keeping a roof over her head, water and lights? I love being a sahm with my kids but I also make sure our bills are paid first and if it came a time that I knew my kids were in danger of not having basic weather we made a deal in the past or not I’d make sure I found a job and made it happen. If you fell out of love with each other then yes by means move on bc you both deserve to be happy and your child deserves to live in a happy home but you can’t make him do what you want when y’all are not together. If he choice to not see her, that’s on him but personally imo that mommy tried and daddy couldn’t atm.
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It’s been 2 weeks. This is a big adjustment for everyone, including him. Everyone has to find their footing with this and that takes time. Forcing the issue will make things worse. And withholding contact from Dad will not be favorable on you when you have your day in court.
ETA: you’re losing your mind over 2 days of no contact. 2 days without a phone call is hardly grounds for abandonment. Geez.
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How is he being a bad parent? Because he doesn’t call her? That’s not being a bad parent. You’re being petty. It feels like you are the one who wants to hear from him. Probably to keep taps on him. Get over it and let your daughter see him. You’re the one taking the consistency away by doing this. Of this is new then start being consistent too.
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He may not be able to reach your standards of what a dad should do, but that’s just it… He’s not your child so you can’t really dictate how he spends time with your daughter! If he doesn’t call every day then cool… Is he there for important things?? Did he drop everything he was doing to see her being born?? Does he still want his weekends with his baby girl??? It’s really about him and his baby girl, not him meeting your expectations!! I have 3 kids (8, 9 and 10) Their dad calls to check on them maybe 5x a year… He has never taken all 3 at once but takes them out individually for birthdays… I’m very thankful for the few times they see him… Who am I to take that away from both him and my kids?? Unless there’s some danger or unhealthy activities happening, my opinion is Yes, it is wrong to keep your child away from their father… Especially if they were getting time together and you stopped it bc the amount of phone calls he could make to her… How old is she?? Can she even talk on the phone??
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How old are you??? SMH
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Sounds like he needs to grow up
You cannot legally withhold your child just because he didn’t pay child support. Is there any reason why you couldn’t possibly work instead of living off our tax dollars at home? He obviously didn’t make enough if you got state benefits. Personally, I think it’s messed up on your end to expect him to do everything while you sit at home reaping benefits. You are the exact reason why others look down on us who get benefits. I get benefits, but I also get off my @$$ to work. And I set my schedule apart from my partners that way we don’t have to rely on paying for child care. So you can’t use that as an excuse, because you could do the same exact thing. Now, I bet you’ll be one of those women who expects the child support to pay all your bills while you sit at home collecting your benefits. How about you be a REAL parent and get off your @$$ and get a job and stop being a prick to your kids father because he doesn’t want to foot your lazy lifestyle.
Yes. You are wrong.
The fact that you are withholding his child over some thing like this is insane.
And the fact that you have gotten so many eviction notices and bills late etc. and you have not gotten a job is also insane. Being a stay at home mom is great but when you left him you gave up that opportunity. You are lucky he even agreed to what he did. Paying for two houses is a lot and you bumming off the government when you don’t have to is weird. That’s for people on hard and unexpected times. Not live off. Get a job and grow up. I get daycare sucks but you don’t have a choice.
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Just the fact that you were taking advantage of the system pisses me off.
The court doesn’t care whether he’s inconsistent with phone calls or even visits as long as he pays child support. He’s going to do what he wants to do you can’t control that.
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So did you qualify for state assistance with his income or were you only including your self and your child? Also with holding visitation is so wrong for your daughter and her father.
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A few questions:
How old is the child?
Did he explain why bills were not being paid? Why and how did you move out? How do you meet your child’s basic needs now? Did you get a job?
The child should be allowed to visit their father if there are no safety concerns. You should not dictate the schedule, it should be agreed upon by you both. Just because he is not doing it your way, does not mean he’s doing it the wrong way. I agree children need consistency but they also need both parents if safe to have both parents in their life.
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You shouldn’t stop "letting " her go see him on weekends! He is her father. There is many father’s who don’t have any contact at all with their children. You are only hurting your child doing that. He obviously was taking her on weekends, and you are the one who stopped it. Not him. He doesn’t have to call every single day. When he was seeing her on weekends. Being consistent in her life, is taking her on weekends. And again, you stopped that. It seems like maybe you are the one who wants him to call every day. But he doesn’t have to. Especially if he’s working. There are many parents who see their children on weekends, and don’t call them every day. You should let her see him on weekends again. And maybe thing’s will change. Both of you are parents. Why do you get to be in charge? And set the rules for him. Maybe this is why he stopped calling every day? He should go to court and get visitation, so you can’t do this. You should really think about thing’s.
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I don’t ask my children’s dad for money in order for him to see them. If he has it to give, great. If he doesn’t, it’s okay. He loves his kids and wants to have a relationship with them and I will do anything I can to strengthen that relationship.
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My parents were divorced at a very young age. I don’t think I talked to my other parent while I was staying at the others. Didn’t make me think that a parent wasnt trying to be involved. I would have been annoyed.
I think you should take a step back, what’s more important? Having him in her life or nothing at all? One day it will come out that you made it “impossible” for him to have a relationship with her. With all these unrealistic demands
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Wrong. If he’s still taking her on weekends, he doesn’t HAVE to call everyday. You could also call him. Phones work two ways. Either way, you’re hurting your daughter by keeping her from her father.
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That’s not how it works today. He’s an adult. You can’t make him do anything. If he’s following court orders and paying the child support you can’t keep the child from him. Unless the dad is abusive in some way to the child, the child needs to see the father. Kids need parents not to bad mouth each other because their lives didn’t work out. Kids need a solid male role model as well as a mom. Children from disfunction grow up disfunctional. Kids aren’t toys or pawns to be used to threaten another person with. Put the kids first in everything regardless of how poorly you chose
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I’m just cackling over everyone being ok with a dad stopping contact because she filed for child support.
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It’s about her not you , let the kid see her dad
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You’re definitely being petty! Over a phone call?! My daughter hasn’t seen or received a call from her father in 10 years. She is 16 now. He pays child support and that’s it! Let that man see his child! This isn’t about YOU!!
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It’s a 2 way street and the child will be the one left with the pain from the games ya’ll play. Saying he has to contact everyday is to much. As long as he’s making contact weekly I’d be happy. Break ups are a lot let him have some space for healing and let him know he will still have his child no matter what it takes. Your kid will appreciate this later down the road coming from a mom of 5 one dad could care less haven’t heard from him over a year. Second one is dead after he crashed a vehicle and I’m still picking up the pieces of our messed up way of communication through my kids. If I could chose to one thing different it would of been to have conversations rather then having the games played. He held the kids over my head every chance he got and it hurt me but it hurt my boys more. Step back and think what would your baby want? Without YOUR feelings and emotions.
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So, um, you can’t keep her from him. He probably doesn’t want to deal with you. Is he irresponsible with money? Yes. But that has nothing to do with visitation. You can’t dictate what he does.
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What lmao. He doesn’t have to call her every day especially during your time . This is so weird and hopefully corrected asap before she grows up knowing you kept her dad from her? As long as he’s always maintaining his visits who are you to dictate how many times a day he calls? Weird
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Dude, that’s not how it works. You don’t get to keep her from her father just because he doesn’t call her as much as you deem appropriate and if he doesn’t then he doesn’t get any visitation at all?! You are using your child to hurt him and that is so wrong! Your child is going to grow up and realize just who kept who from whom, and then you’ll be in a whole other world of trouble and pain! Good luck with that.
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He needs to grow up, shows just how much he cares about his daughter if he can’t even be bothered to call her, not to mention what kind of father wouldn’t want to call everyday? You can never be too busy for your child, make time.
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All these people are crazy 
As a child of a horrible “father” that i constantly got disappointed by my inconsistent “father” getting my hopes up for nothing. I completely understand where you are coming from… that being said does he show up every weekend? Everytime he is supposed to see her ? Does he respond to her texts ? Or does he ignore her? Abandon her ? Etc cause that definitely makes a difference
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Honestly I don’t think you’re wrong with setting a standard now that y’all aren’t together. A father isn’t 2 phone calls a day and you’re done. He needs to step up to the plate and be there for her and not just with money. It really just seems like he checked out of being in y’all’s life period.
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You sound like a control freak. Let that man see his kid. You want him to be consistent but then take away his time with her as punishment cuz he didn’t call her every single day while she was with you is ridiculous
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There are two different issues here: contact with your daughter and bill paying.
You said he worked over 40 hours per week but didn’t pay bills. Why? What was he spending the money on? Was he earning enough to pay them?
I think this question lies at the core of everything. Was he drinking the money away? Did he not earn enough to cover bills? Is he a scatterbrain who forgets to take care of this stuff?
I agree that he’s going through a huge change and that takes time. But my opinion on how to handle it differs depending on why he didn’t pay the bills. If he has a drinking problem and spent his earnings on booze, I would not send my daughter to visit. If he’s scatterbrained, he might have ADHD or just not have grown up yet. His attraction to you might partially be because you’re more type A. If he couldn’t earn enough to pay bills, then you need to find a job, although he should have had that discussion ages ago.
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Wait… he was a calling twice a day? And he dropped it to once a day and you got upset over that? Most fathers call once a week. Be thankful he was doing that. Calling twice a day is asking too much. As long as he’s in contact. I thunk maybe he stopped because no matter what he does you get upset and it’s coincidental that it fell when you filed for support. Keeping your child from their father will backfire on you.
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The poster sounds immature and hella selfish. YOUR KID AINT COLLATERAL
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It’s not your job! I hope he sues you in court for alienating him and his child. Moms like you are the reason dads get a bad reputation.
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Lovingly, I think you are in the wrong here. If both parents are willing and able to be a part of their child’s life, and its safe for the child, let them; however that looks.
It sounds like to me that your letting YOUR relationship or what was there with her father get in the way of your daughter and her father’s relationship. It can be hard, but you’ll need to separate those two things if you want your daughter to know and have a relationship with her dad going further.
I’d say keep the lines of communication open but don’t push them. Let her develop her own way of thinking and feeling about her father and just be there for her through it; good or bad.
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Man… you’re doing to much.
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Yes you are in the wrong! It’s HER father! What you need is some legal advice/action so dad can resume visits with his daughter! STOP using her as your pawn! Smh…you left…you no longer have a say!
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The bar for men is so low it’s a tavern in hades like for real. This person CHOSE to stop all contact with his own daughter, if you wanna be in your kids life you’d fight for them 
because this is a member of the m@le gender everyone wants to praise him for trying, even when it’s not good enough.
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You LET him see her. He is her father. I am a family law paralegal and I see this all the time. If he is inconsistent that’s on him. If you keep her from him because he doesn’t do things your way, that’s on you. Go to court. Get the child support automatically withdrawn from his check and a visitation schedule set. Kids are like bananas if you hit each other over the head with them, they are the ones who get bruised. Also, I hope you have someone to talk to so you aren’t venting to the child. She didn’t pick a shitty father (if he is one) you did that. She shouldn’t feel wrong for that.
What’s more of the back story? Was he not paying bills because he was spending money in other places? Work 40+ a week you would think he would be able to afford some of the bill depending on his pay. Is he still seeing his daughter on his visitations? If so let go of the phone calls and continue to let him see his daughter. If he is a dead beat dad and isn’t following through with seeing his daughter on his days. Then yes. He needs to step up.
I highly dislike child support. If he is still supporting his daughter on his time no need for child support. Rarely do mothers use the money on the children.
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So wrong he shouldn’t need to call everyday to see his daughter on the weekends. I would take you to court for 50/50 just to show you what an ass hat you are. He wants to be there let him in his way which is not dealing with you daily and spending weekends with his kid.
You are wrong and don’t have the right to dictate how he handles his relationship with his daughter. You are driving a bigger wedge between them and could be charged with custodial interference.
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Why do all the people who post here sound like they only got middle school education and have no idea how the world works???
It’s disconcerting
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You don’t stop letting him see his child because he doesn’t do what you say lol wow some of y’all are your own worst enemy. Also sounds like you don’t have it together either why would you not work? You knew y’all couldn’t afford to have you be a SAHM that’s why you had to get welfare. SMH 
it’s not only his fault you could have gotten a job and paid the bills also . Long story short get a job and let him see his child !
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Complete in the wrong. I can see if he was inconsistent with his visitations and always flaking but not because he doesn’t call her daily or as much as you would like. How old is your daughter? Is it because he doesn’t want to talk to you in order to talk to his daughter? Imo your daughter is going to end up being spiteful towards you cuz you ultimately kept her from her dad all because he didn’t call like you wanted him too
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You putting him down, but there’s always 3 sides to a story yours, his and what really happened. You said a 14,000 power bill thats crazy. What was you doing for it to be that dang high…You talk abt being on assistance. How are you taking care of her properly with no job. Sounds to me like you only want him to call daily for you and not her. It is wrong to withhold a child from the other parent. That will affect her for the rest of her life. Parents need to realize the child is not a bargaining chip. Grow up it’s not what best for you or him, It’s what’s best for the child.
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You are wrong! That is her Daddy, her choice!
You can’t make him care. Obviously, he doesn’t. Good job on leaving him. He sounds like a spoiled child… you Don’t need two !!! When he grows up, reconsider visitation.
I would let him see her on the weekends. The calls is a drag but that’s not enough reason of inconsistency to take his visits away. If he keeps missing visit times and is in and out, I would revisit this and see what you can do, but I think that’s too much for just phone calls. He’s a POS his band and man, But if he wants to be a daddy, let him!
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Any contact is better than no contact. It’s your job to promote a relationship with your child and her father. That’s all you can control. You can’t control his end. If this is what he chooses, eventually as your daughter gets older, she’ll figure it out on her own… but let her decide.
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