Am I in the wrong?

Not good he should be still speaking to him ECT but that’s not his child so he doesn’t have to treat him like one

2 Likes

When I split up with my ex he would only talk or have anything to do with our daughter. Our daughter he had absolutely nothing to do with unless I was there to care for (she was young- 6/7) but my older daughter he did everything with that was not his biological daughter. He was an actual dad to her until the day he decided he wanted different. He sent some cards to all the kids from somewhere but other than that he just out right refused to talked to her and she missed him so much. At one point she asked if she could take his last name (while we were still together) because she was his dad. We talked to her bio dad and he wouldn’t hear of it. She was so hurt by it. I was with him for over ten years and she just missed him. I made it possible for them to just talk quite a few times with dentist appointments and such but he would hyper focus on our daughter and completely ignore her.

My moral to the story, you can’t make him do anything. It’s hurtful to watch your child in pain but all you can do is explain to them in an age appropriate way what is going on.

2 Likes

I had my first child at 17 met a man when I was 19 he took my daughter in as his own and we also had two sons together got married and he treated all of our kids like his biological kids. My daughter knew he wasn’t her real father but she saw him as daddy number 2. We are divorced I’m remarried and guess what my ex husband still treats our daughter like she is his. He helped raise her from a baby up until she was a young lady. It’s one thing to only be in the child’s life a couple of months but when you go years and years that’s fucked up to drop the child just because y’all broke up.

He’s being heartless. The poor boy shouldn’t have to suffer , if he were a real man he’d step up and not be such a jerk

1 Like

Thats sad. I’m sorry

Stop raising your son to be attached to random people. Teach him the truth. You are his parent. Period.

9 Likes

l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $11812 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE… https://DollarGrowth7.surge.sh

You’ll never be able to make someone be decent. Clean break, as much as possible, for your son. Don’t try to make the dude act right, it will be better for your child if he sees you moving on. You can’t change a person’s behavior and you can’t make people see what kind of person someone is if they don’t want to. I know it seems like fighting for your child is the best thing, but your child is better off without that kind of behavior in his life, and you trying to make the man be decent will only put your kids through more trauma. Trust me. Sometimes you just have to take care of you and yours, do what’s right, and be damned with saving some dude or making people realize he’s trash. Good luck to you and your babies

He’s six and needs to be told the truth about his biological dad but as long as you love him and care for him as any child needs he will be good because you will teach him that even if there is no man in your life you will always be in his with or without a man - never make him depend on anyone but YOU.

6 Likes

l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18261 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE… https://DollarGrowth54.surge.sh

Not necessarily normal. My exhusband came into my life when my daughter was 3 months old. We were together a long time but divorced three years ago. We have a 9 year old together but my daughter is treated the same as the one we have together. He picks them both up every other weekend. He picks them both up from school. Maybe we aren’t normal but it sounds like this guy is a jerk

6 Likes

These men that walk away are scum.
Dating with kids is hard enough w/o these asshats running out on the kids…

You don’t tell the 6 year old anything that isn’t going to be good for his soul. He can learn about that stuff when he’s older. As for current “dad” who bailed. He’s not the Dad. It’s awful and shitty but that’s how it is . If there’s no legal reason some guys just go. You were the reason he interacted with him at all. You two are done so he is too. It’s sad but happens. Stop calling him and move forward. Help your kid move on like you are-

It seems awful but in all reality he has no obligation to a child whose not biologically his, this is the risk you take while dating as a single parent, yes it makes him not nice but it’s also not his responsibility

4 Likes

l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $11459 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE… https://DollarGrowth121.surge.sh

2 Likes

This is really sad, I’m sorry it’s happening to your baby BUT this is the risk when another man takes the father role. You’ll never know that’s man’s real heart until you know and unfortunately it isn’t always the same as yours. I’ve been there, all I can really say is you’ll now have to explain the situation and let your baby know that YOU will always be his Mama and at his side :heart: wishing the best for you

2 Likes

You don’t tell him. You put on a happy face and explain that things change and it doesn’t mean he did anything wrong or is bad In any way. You love him. Your family changed and that’s normal. And it’s on to tell him if he asks that you think what your ex did is wrong, but that since we can’t control others we get to make the choice to be heal and be happy and never do that to someone else. You move on. The more you lean into the heartbreak you have for him the more he will hurt. Children don’t know there is anything wrong unless we tell them there is. Yes it’s sucks. Yes it hurts. But it doesn’t have to be your whole life. I had this exact situation happen and I remember feeling like I had been eviscerated for months. I got stuck in the cycle of being hurt FOR my son. And that led to pain he didn’t have to experience if I would have just realized that I was the one who had the power to change the narrative. Don’t give this man any more power than you already have.

4 Likes

#1 you never downgrade a parent regardless of how bad he was, I had one like your ex. #2 you cannot expect your exBF to treat your child like his biological son. In this situation mentally he never truely accepted your child as his.

1 Like

A good friend of mine married a single mum who had a 4 year old girl, they broke up 9 years later without having a child together, but he has raised that girl as his own, paid her college tuition and walked her down the aisle. They’re like best friends. He has never remarried or had any other kids. There are some good men in this world, I hope you find one to be a constant father figure to your child.

6 Likes

I’m so sorry he is going threw that. I ended a 10 yr relationship and I still have things to do with one the kids and I see him when I go threw that town.

1 Like

Also, just quit having kids with rando’s. I stg yall will get knocked up by anyone without a job and a criminal récord.

7 Likes

l get paid over $130 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18666 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Info Here >>> https://IncomeUSAJobs8.surge.sh/

2 Likes

Obviously him and his whole family are :put_litter_in_its_place: unfortunately that’s the risk you take when you date with children which is why it is SO important to pick GOOD men.

1 Like

So sad! He really isn’t a very good man! You will make sure he feels love and know he is loved!

1 Like

You can tell him that he isn’t able to be his dad right now and that his bio dad isn’t safe to be around.

All I can say is I’m really sorry :pleading_face:

" we loved your white baby" what’s skin colour got to do with it that’s racist if I heard that said person would have broken legs and no teeth left

1 Like

I agree with you … any decent person would speak & acknowledge a child …

Ellie Bultena Random People she was with him 4 years & had a baby I’m sure she didn’t think he was gonna leave :roll_eyes:

1 Like

Just love him. You can’t do or say anything that will lessen the pain. Just reassure him that it’s not about him and more about your ex. Good luck, hope life settles for you.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in the wrong? - Mamas Uncut

You could be charged with neglect if you allowed your son to get in the car with an unlicensed driver no matter who that driver is.

13 Likes

Absolutely not. Your son’s safety is your top priority.

4 Likes

You were absolutely not in the wrong and if you’re aware that he has your son and is driving around without a drivers license and he gets arrested, you both to get in trouble. Do you have somebody to take care of your son if you both get in trouble? I would not allow him to go until you verify he has a license.

7 Likes

No girl! No DL. Take him back to court.

1 Like

No, because if he gets pulled over, they won’t let him drive away. So what would happen to the child?

5 Likes

Nope!! Your child’s safety is priority! This could’ve been prevented by him anyway!

2 Likes

I’ve always been told i have to let them go unless a judge says otherwise. If he gets pulled over with your kid then chances are the judge will be on your side

3 Likes

Tell him he must use a taxi.so your son doesn’t miss out on visits.

3 Likes

afraid for your sons safety because of piece of paper was revoked for lack of money…
Not due to negligence or anything…… Seems a bit absurd to phrase it that way… but

However I would not allow child to go with at pick up if he was the one driving due to the laws.
Other than at pick up time you cannot control what he does

22 Likes

Regardless if his license was taken for only that, he doesn’t have a license. Period. He shouldn’t be driving himself, not to mention driving others around especially children. You’re not overreacting.

3 Likes

I think your best bet is to drop your son off and let him know if he takes him anywhere in the car you’ll be documenting it. Do you have a court ordered parenting plan or time sharing agreement? If not get one.

3 Likes

Here the worst that would happen is getting a ticket so I don’t see where safety comes into play here.

7 Likes

Obviously he is fine with him. You let him go with him every other weekend for 7 years and nothing happened just now bc he is behind and his license got suspended you want to claim his safety is in danger. It’s not he shouldn’t be driving without one but that doesn’t mean he’s a bad driver and your child is in danger. You are over exaggerating.

7 Likes

Hell no!!! What happens if they get into an accident while he doesn’t have a license?? Police can technically give him a child neglect charge over that!

3 Likes

Your not in the wrong at all safety comes first and if he’s not listening speak to the family courts and also report him as he could not just hurt your child but others I’ve been in the same situation xx

3 Likes

Safety first. He’s not above the law.

2 Likes

My daughters dads license just got suspended. I won’t let her go with him due to him being suspended. He called the cops on me when I told him that she was going to stay home until he can get his life together and stop drinking and driving. The cop said I have every right to keep her safe and if I let her go with him knowing he is suspended then I could be charge with endangering a minor. Needless to say she has been home this month.

4 Likes

Not at all girl! Stay strong mama bear.

1 Like

No license, no babies.

3 Likes

What he’s doing is literally illegal. Don’t let that baby go with him

4 Likes

Knowing your son is with some one that doesn’t have a license you could get in trouble. Especially if they told you his license has been revoked, most of their calls are recorded.

3 Likes

Help with arrangement or tell him to uber if he is good with child

3 Likes

No tell him to pay his child support and get them back him driving is illegal at this point

He can figure out another way to get his son LEGALLY… he is the one being dramatic here, making it out to be YOU when he is the one not taking care of his responsibilities NOR doing any and all things possible to safely and legally get his son for his visits… he’s technically the one missing them. It’s not you.

2 Likes

Yeah you’re exaggerating. He drives the same either way. Active license or not. Maybe try talking and resolving the support issue?

10 Likes

The child endangering charge will be yours.

3 Likes

In my state, not paying child support is not a reason to stop visitation and if there is a court order, you can get in trouble for withholding visitation.

With that said, I wouldn’t stop visitation, but I would do the drop off/pick up and make it VERY clear that if you find out he’s driving without a license with your son in the vehicle, that you will call the police.

Your child’s safety comes first, and him not having a license doesn’t mean that his driving abilities have changed, just that his driving privileges have changed. If he gets pulled over for driving without a license, they will impound the vehicle and he will have to call someone to pick him and your son up, and then it opens a whole other situation full of BS.

7 Likes

You’re grasping at straws here to use against him. Is not having a drivers license suddenly going to make him an unsafe driver? No. Let your kid see his dad…

9 Likes

Your ex not having a license doesn’t make him any less of a safe drive than if he had his license, so I don’t understand the afraid for his safety thing. BUT it is illegal so based on that I wouldn’t allow him to drive my child from pick up. As someone mentioned, what he does during his visitation time cannot be controlled by you.

His license being revoked doesn’t take away the fact that he knows how to drive. I could understand you wanting to drop him off. But concerned for his safety? That seems a little much.

5 Likes

It is your son’s safety. Don’t back down.

2 Likes

I wouldn’t revoke visitations as he is an active father otherwise. I would make him be responsible for legal transportation back and forth or you two rotate transportation. But if you trusted your child for the last 7 years to be with his dad and now are refusing visitation because a piece of paper is expired, your child will remember it once he is older and will be pissed. Remember, it’s about the child’s best interest.

4 Likes

Payment of child support and visitation shouldn’t be considered in the same thought at all in my opinion. The child was safe with him when you had a child with this man right? In my opinion yes your being dramatic.

5 Likes

Obviously your not worried about your kid spending time with the dad - if he has a revoked license, bring the kid to him and pick him up. Everybody is saying oh the dads in the wrong but Mom ain’t making it easy or even trying to help him figure out a way to see his kid. Both are at fault. You can’t stop visitation because he don’t have a license.

11 Likes

My exes ex wife lost her license due to DRUNK DRIVING and cps (there for a different issue) told us that if we make a big deal of it, that WE would become responsible to drive the kids back and forth both ways for visitation!
:roll_eyes:

1 Like

Not having a drivers license is not all of a sudden going to make him a dangerous driver😂 is he consistently pulled over ?

3 Likes

Honestly I would run this by a lawyer. Technically the lisence doesn’t make him a safer driver. He didn’t lose it over a dui. He lost it over a monetary reason. However, if he got pulled over with no lisence and then arrested while your son is with him you could argue that would be traumatizing. Tell him that if he takes him he will have to find another mode of transportation. Having a license has never been a reason for someone not to be allowed to see their child. Imagine all the families in poverty that would lose their children if they couldn’t drive???

4 Likes

I don’t think you’re exaggerating but really if you aren’t concerned about them riding with him safety wise then let him drive and if he gets pulled over/caught it’s his own damn fault! :woman_shrugging:t3: If it comes up in court tell the truth. You’re not doing anything wrong for stating the truth. My ex drove without one with the kids and just figured if he gets caught it’s his own fault. His choices. Good luck!

Ask. Your. Lawyer.

Telling a judge “Well the people in my Facebook group said this is what I should do” isn’t going to work.

4 Likes

I would look up the laws in your state. In Wisconsin, I would need proof of it is a custody interference charge. Proof he is driving without a license and endangering our child.

Tell him to go get his license problem solved

No active license means you aren’t driving my child around.

He can come visit the child at your home until his drivers license is restored, if it ever is.

It’s his own fault his lost it anyways. Should’ve paid his child support.

2 Likes

Wow… holding her for his license? Or money? She’s (kid) a person too and so is he. He can get an Uber or Taxi ladies wtf! All of a sudden he’s a shit father bc he fell in hard times. I sure hope no one comes to kick you when you’re down… kinda sick to watch honestly. If he’s not a drug addict or perv he should get to see his kid. Period

Having a drivers license doesn’t make someone a good driver :joy:

7 Likes

He’s a true idiot. If u know where he is tell them so they can serve him. No he can not drive a child. If he insists call cops. I’d call cs and tell them what he’s wanting to do and they can issue a pick up order for child support. Then he is in jail till he comes up with a certain payment. Bet he pays then. Lol

No you’re not exagerating!!exaggerating!!! He’s being a jerk! Check with your attorney just to make sure this is legal.

You are not over exaggerating!!! If he is caught driving with your son in the car, your son will watch his dad to go jail. That’s traumatic af. The safety overall isn’t the concern because he’s clearly been driving with him for years but getting arrested and your son having to sit with cops until you get there is the worst possible thing.

7 Likes

Yes u are being dramatic. Cuz at the end of the day the only reason you know he don’t have one is because of child support. If it wasn’t child support related u wouldn’t know either way.

8 Likes

The amount of ladies here willing to hurt their child just to be spiteful over none payment of support is truly sickening. Your child doesn’t Fing care if your ex paid child support this month. Y’all are some vindictive cun*s :woman_shrugging:

13 Likes

No, weird that child support called you ? I’ve never received a call from them ? Do what best for your child.

1 Like

Ummm you’re aware that he doesn’t have a license…… so no you’re not being dramatic do you want CPS up the wahzoo questioning you as a parent because you knowingly placed him in a vehicle with an unlicensed driver. Child endangerment right there boom.

You speak with them again and ask them how to handle visitation if it’s a legal agreement because you don’t want to get in trouble for him driving a vehicle unlicensed.
Tell him to talk to the people and pay his child support.

2 Likes

You don’t have the authority to violate the court order and “revoke” his visitation. You know damn well it’s revoked over support and not because he did something unsafe! Absolutely nothing has changed. You’re the jerk here.

You are refusing to allow your child to have time with their parent knowing he did nothing to make himself unsafe or unfit. It’s the court and child supports job to punish him if they see fit, not yours!

2 Likes

Nope you’re protecting your child

Send him a text or email stating that because his license is revoked. He must have a person with a valid drivers license to pick up your son. If not call the police and ask them to run his license when he picks up.

3 Likes

I’d ask your lawyer. Don’t think that’s a reason your child can’t go there. Why are you afraid for your sons safety? I would be if lost to drunk driving, wreck less driving etc but doesn’t sound like that’s the reason.

Your worry is about payment, so why fear for his safety when it wasn’t a good reason to lose license over… He didnt lose them for a wreck less driving, seatbelt or anything dangerous. So now u don’t let ur son go to his dads, u had his license taken, all cause you don’t receive money?? Thats not exaggerating at all… :thinking::confounded: thats is SO WRONG OF YOU! Its women like you who give us all bad names. After doing this for 7 YEARS!!! One question. Do u feel happy your son misses his dad? Are u happy your son sits and has to wonder now which parent to be mad at or whatever cause his mother turned into a money hungry, shallow, whatever name u wanna given ur self. You CANT make it sound good anymore.

6 Likes

He is the same driver as before. He has had no increase in risks, except to himself if pulled over with no license. Not saying he should be allowed to drive without a license, just that he hasn’t lost his ability to drive just because he lost his license.

5 Likes

Sounds maybe you were waiting for an excuse

1 Like

No !!! If caught they will put your child in foster and you will held responsible too for allowing your child getting in vehicle it will be hell getting them back. Or he could try to put run law and end up wrecking

2 Likes

No, you’re not. What if he was in an accident with a suspended license and hurt someone else or your son was hurt? You are watching out for your child.

Maybe I’m not looking at it the same as you. But you can’t force some dads to be in their child’s life. And you have one that wants to be, but can’t afford his payments, so you keep his kid away from him.

Unless there are details you’re leaving out, like the dad is a drug addict dead beat, that can’t keep his life together. Then this has nothing to do with “safety”.

5 Likes

No you’re no being dramatic. What if he’s x Driving without a license at somebody hits his car and there is an accident then what??? do the right thing for your kid .

1 Like

Why is he getting visitation if he hasn’t paid in 26 months, that’s ridiculous

2 Likes

Yes. Just because he doesn’t have a license doesn’t mean he forgot how to drive. As far as him getting pulled over… are they going to shoot your ex? No? It’s more important for him to spend time with his dad than worry about every little thing

1 Like

unpopular opinion…

You are controlling… and dramatic

You’re saying that if his drivers license was not revoked that you were perfectly fine and you felt your son was safe driving in the car with him… right?? :slightly_smiling_face:

Okay so how does the fact that Child support I  revoked his privilege to drive… have anything to do with Ability to drive??? :face_with_monocle: 

Think it’s stupid that they revoke the drivers license anyways… 
They owe money but gonna take away their driving privileges to be able to get to work to make the money :roll_eyes: 
Your ex-husband wants to be in your sons life and is making an effort to be in your sons life every other weekend…  tell him to use Uber, or work with him and maybe drop the Ur son off at his house. you guys are coparenting work with each other it makes life easier for you for him and especially for your son

7 Likes

Yes if it’s just because he doesn’t have a license now.

Maybe take your kid to him and pick them up. Or agree on a person to do the transfer.

1 Like

When you play a game of fuck around and find out… Sometimes u can even lose custody of your young for making outrageous accusations. When he takes u to court I’d love to be a fly on the way. And I’m a mother so maybe us other moms who feel you’d just entirely wrong and ignorant can find who this man is and help him out

Only with a licensed driver. How traumatized would your son be by seeing his dad arrested?

1 Like