He lost his license over being poor, not for being a bad driver. If he gets pulled over for no license he won’t be arrested, he will just be a pedestrian. You’re blowing the danger part way out of proportion. If you’re that worried about it, tell your judge you don’t want his license affected by child support and he will get it back.
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He needs to have someone else drive him to pick up and bring home his child. You cannot keep the child from him. It is on him to find transportation but you cannot decide who drives. He could have anyone he wants drive him. The only thing you can do is try and get proof that he’s driven with the child after he’s been told not to and made aware he doesn’t have a license. Then from there you can take it to court. If he’s willing to have someone pick the child up and drop off or if you would be willing then i see absolutely no problem. He’s a father who is more than capable of caring for his child. I would offer to drop the child off. I need my break and my child deserves to see their father. Sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and put the child first.one day you could find yourself in this situation with out a license or car and need him to help out.
Why is he on child support though? That’s the real question lol
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No. And he is gaslighting you. Time for him to grow up and be accountable
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Then take him yourself
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How does this effect your child’s safety?
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I drive without a license all the time. 
(getting it renewed on Thursday but it expired in 2020) anyways… doesn’t make him unsafe with a little plastic card saying he’s legal to drive. Let your kid see his Dad. You absolutely are over exaggerating.
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No you are not exaggerating. If he has no license then he has no vehicle insurance……. If something were to happen…… I’m an accident, how would you pay for medical? Another thing to ask yourself…… does he help pay for your sons when it comes to school, sports, dr bills and such? If he provides half or close to half. Tell him to get his back cs paid and you won’t ask for anything else!
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No one is getting arrested for driving without a license. Not first offense anyways. And let’s just say he DID get arrested… the cops are very aware of children present and will likely not get crazy ad cuff him or anything.
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Please don’t listen to some of these people! Just like Deby Tny said. We live in a land of the law. Your job is to protect your child. If the father wants to see the child, he will do what means necessary to do so. He can ride a bus or you drop him off to him under your schedule because now you have to think about transportation and visitation issues because he can’t take care of business. You are not exaggerating, you already doing your part, he needs to step up and do his!
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be what you are Not being, Honest. You want money. ok! His license has Nothing to do with safety, a piece of paper does not help your physical safety, it is a political tool giving permission from the government to drive on its roads. Hell YES you exaggerate! But you use the System to either maintain your “legal” rights, or Punish. It certainly is Not rehabiltative, it is purely revenge.
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If he gets pulled over without a license and your son in the car. It’s child endangerment and cps can get involved
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Not sure what state you are in but I’m Oregon my son got pulled over and his license was suspended. The officer asked if he had anyone to come drive the vehicle and waited with him and my granddaughter until I showed up to drive. No arrest and no CPS involvement. He got a ticket, court date and fine
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It’s not about the pick up or drop off. It’s more about when he has the child driving around, what if he gets stopped? Then the child has to see his father go to jail? How healthy is that for the child? I think that’s the point of the question 
I think that you’re right not to want him driving your son in a car with an unlicensed driver - if he were ever pulled over, and there was a child (YOUR child) in the vehicle, it could open up issues with cps for neglect. I would not ever allow it. However, that doesn’t mean he isn’t safe to spend time with a dad that you always found safe BEFORE this happened, so there are other ways to continue to nurture their relationship and bond. Your child will be extremely confused, if they go from seeing dad regularly, to not at all. I would say that either you could drive him and drop him off/pick him up from dad’s at each visit, if you want to and it isn’t a super far distance/inconvenience to do so, OR because dad is the one that dropped the ball in regards to CS, it should be on him to find another mode of transportation. He can ask a sibling, parent, safe friend, pay for a cab/Uber, etc. If he wants to spend his weekends with the child, then he needs to be the one to facilitate a new way to do so and continue putting in the full effort, for that time. It isn’t your responsibility to figure that out for him, because you will figure it out on your own if something happened to your car/license during the time your child is with you and he should do the same. However, if it isn’t really out of the way and a big inconvenience for you to do the extra driving, it would be nice of you to do drop off/pick up, if you want to, for the sake of your child, because you know his dad can’t/won’t find another way, besides driving the child illegally - but it isn’t required of you.
I don’t see a safety issue. I got pulled over with a suspend license. They impounded my car but I was free to go.
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Nope you are not wrong. First off if he is behind on child support payments visitation should cease, further, police will pull your child from him and place him into foster care. One because he is driving without a license and two because you knew it and still allowed your son to go in the car. Endangering the welfare of a child. Be smart don’t allow this.
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- You can make another arrangement for him to see your son.
- Do not let him drive with your son until he has his license back. 1. You could be charged with child endangerment as well. However if you drop him off and then he drives with him even though he’s not supposed to and you have a text saying do t drive with him because your license is suspended and it does it then its not your fault.
- If he gets into an accident etc…
- There is a court order so follow it to the best of your ability but adapt it with the non driving privileges.
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You people are idiots. Do not drive when you don’t have a license. Are fines and jail time worth it? If he gets pulled over, then you’ve got to go get your kid, he can’t drive. Clearly he can’t afford to pay fines if he can’t afford to pay child support. He also can’t afford to pay the increased insurance. Go drop your kid off so he can see his dad. or tell him to get an Uber. Put your kid first. Who cares if your ex thinks you’re crazy.
Lol - no license due to being poor doesn’t result in danger 
it results in a ticket and a have a nice day paying this fine lol - sounds to me like you just want an excuse to keep the kid away . Until you get the money - why else mention the cs being behind ? Where is the danger ? Are you aware they literally give anyone a license? License doesn’t equal knowing how to be safe on the road just in case u weren’t already aware good luck tho mama
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I’m sure I’ll get some serious negativity on my stance, but I’m gonna say it as a kid who came from a crazy home - he was picking yalls kid up before his license was revoked. His driving isn’t in question. He should pay child support, that’s true, but he seems to be spending time with the child you share with him. That time is priceless to your child. Don’t hurt yalls son by taking that precious time away. If the license is the real issue, drive him yourself.
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He’s no more safe with or without a license. Drop him off and pick him up if you’re uncomfortable. What you’re doing is damaging the father/son relationship and that’s not your relationship to mess with. Don’t keep your kid from his father.
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I would not have my son drive with him. However I will drive him to him. I’m sorry but if dad wants to be in the boys life let him. I know it’s difficult because he should be paying his child support but keeping him away from his son because of it is not the route to go. It’s money. It comes and goes but he will never get this time back with his boy
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You are right. It is against the law for him to drive without a license. Period. Stick to your guns.
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Umm 
why don’t you provide the transportation??
Does not having a license instantly make someone not know how to drive?
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Omfg people there’s nothing dangerous about a piece of plastic being unusable
It is 100% not “child endangerment” in ANY state unless the unlicensed person is under the influence or doesn’t have the proper child safety restraint system for the child
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I think your concerns are valid and maybe it’s time to go before a judge and let them decide. He should be paying child support. That’s his problem to fall behind and it’s a disrespect to you, your son, and the life he should be able to afford. My child support goes to food, electric, water, clothes, shoes, hair cuts, sports and equipment, activities and fun stuff to do, art projects at home, books, school supplies, class snacks, field trips, i could go on and on. I didn’t include, mortgage, property taxes (although i live where I do because of the schools) car payments, cell phone, cable, house phone, internet, my HOA. It’s a lot to raise a child. I don’t think people who aren’t there primary care provider truly realize the expenses, even when they live in the same house. I wouldn’t keep them apart but maybe you do drop off and pick up and ask that he not drive if possible with your child.
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It never makes sense to me to take a liscence away. How you gunna see the kid without one? Lol so dig a deeper hole? Ok cool. (Im talking about the system)
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If the father is a safe Father couldn’t you just drive your child to his house and pick them back up on Sunday That way the kids still gets to spend time with his dad without being caught in the middle of financial stuff that’s between the adults
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Only idiots drive without a license. You’re right not to let your child go with him. A revoked license doesn’t mean the driver isn’t safe (at least revoked for child support), it means he isn’t legal to drive and you are right not to put your child in that situation. If dad gets pulled over, it’s gonna end up dramatic. Unnecessarily so.
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Drop him off and pick him up. Don’t deny parenting time
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You can refuse to let your son go. Dad doesnt have a license.
Not sure of the state you’re in, but in CA when my ex husbands license was suspended due to not payinghis support. My lawyer told me it would be considered child endangerment on my part were something to happen or were he to get pulled over if I to sent my child in the car with him, and I wouldn’t be able to argue/ defend sending her, as i was notified his license was suspended. Since he had it written into the divorce agreement to provide all visitation transportation, he had to have someone drive him to and from the house, etc with our daughter.
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His driving isn’t the question. My licsense was suspended due to non payment for 3 months and I didn’t even know because it went to my old address.
The logic behind this baffles me. Is there’s a magical switch that goes off and someone forgets how to drive if they don’t have their license??
He’ll have to pay a fine probably.
Go drop the child off and do pick up, or he can get a ride from someone else. Don’t damage their relationship
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A lot of you women says you are IN LOVE with the guy than when you marry him you try to change him to what your think you want and than find out it is not what you want so you divorce him and look for another one to change. It takes two to work together and if you can not work together than leave but NO you want to impose restrictions on him for the man you created than you try and take him for every thing he has. O well it is your life so go ahead and be mistrial in your life.
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Just so I understand… For 7 years, you and your sons father have been doing alternate weekend visitations. For over 2 years, you have not received support but have continued to do visitation.
Now that your ex doesn’t have a license, you think your son is in danger? Why?
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Since your only concern is the driving portion of the visit you can be in charge of driving him to and from visits. His license was revoked due to being behind on child support not for any driving error so your child is plenty safe with him, as he was before this.
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For all of you saying “it doesn’t make Dad less safe” are quite literally dumb. The biggest reason being, if Dad gets pulled over he goes to jail and the kid gets sent to CPS until Mom gets there to get him. Not all “safety” issues are physical. Also shows irresponsibility. Mom has financial expenses and isn’t an absent mother so Dad should too. It’s been over 2 years. Sounds to me that Mom hasn’t even realized Dad wasn’t paying child support so I don’t think “she wants his money” is an issue.
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Please don’t kidnap kids this way .good luck .I was keeped from my child because I wouldn’t join a cult reasons don’t matter I think it’s rare were a dad shouldn’t see the kids thanks for reading💕
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Not being over protective at all BUT you’d be surprised at how many people are driving with revoked license and also no auto insurance. I’ve always thought oh how cool you revoke license for being behind on CS yet how do you expect these father’s and mother’s to get to the money oh yeah let’s help them go to jail if stopped for driving without a valid driver’s license or better yet we can later lock them up to further the debt already there - make that make sense 
How about the portion that CS keeps go to the parent if the other parent falls behind - nah that wouldn’t happen because just like any government entity people get help from however meager it maybe their (CS etc.) portion received for that service has to be taken out at a great portion/%
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How can u all say let him drive without a license what if he has an accident and hurts/kills somebody you will all be morning then saying he shouldn’t be driving without a license, if his driving without a license he isn’t insured either , no way would a child of mine go in a car with someone not insured or without a license. She also mentioned the child support because that’s how he lost his license
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Not at all, no driving without a drivers license, what if he gets pulled over and your children are their, absolutely not!
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You have the option to drop arrears and give him the opportunity to start fresh with payments.
We obviously don’t know the situation- but it’s something I’d consider. It’s only a slippery slope from here. No license… how does dad get to work to make said payments. Etc etc.
If things have been working for 7 years- have a conversation with him. See if you can depend on his compliance then.
Always do what’s best for the child- and that’s typically having a mother & a father
No you should be concerned
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You are not over exaggerating. My ex has done this to me also and I understand why. Do what you have to and yeah if he where to be stopped and arrested it would traumatize the child, especially it being in front of the whole thing. Or having to find a way back home and you could be anywheres
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afraid for his safety? Why? Cause dad doesnt have a license?! Back child support caused the suspension not vehicular manslaughter… good lord. Let the kids see dad. Take a chill pill and relax ffs
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Put yourself in his shoes for a minute… what would you like for him to do.??? Maybe he lost his job, maybe he has been sick, a death or sickness in family, major car or home repairs…if he has been dependable up til now GIVE HIM A CHANCE…I BET HE WOULD YOU …ITS A CHILD WHO WILL SUFFER…
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Lol why did he have child support on him in the first place seemed like he was half assed doing his job. Now your kid can’t see his dad and I promise once he finds out it’s your fault that he can’t he’s gonna be kissed asf (my mom did similar things with us when my parents split up)
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No you are not,it is your responsibility to keep your child safe.Let him call a cab in stead of driving with no protection for your child.
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Your funny “mom hasn’t even realized dad wasn’t paying child support “ who doesn’t realize for two years you got me rolling off the sofa laughing You might not realize but everybody else that’s getting child support realize if somebody has paid in the last two years
Child support and child visitation are two different cases in the court. If you withhold the child against court orders, you could be in contempt. If you feel the child is unsafe, then you need to file to stop visits, and a judge has to determine that, and the father has an opportunity to state his case. Withholding the child because of money is morally wrong. If my ex were to lose his license, I would just take my children to his house for their weekend, they need to continue their relationship with their father and that would be the best case, he doesn’t drive with the children while not having a license.
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I would just personally ask for someone else to drive. Having a revoked license could get him into trouble and could get him a huge ticket of endangerment for his son. I would just sit down and talk with him about it. I don’t think it’s asking a lot for him to put your sons safety first.
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That would be considered child endangerment if you let them go with him you also could get in trouble to seeing as you knew they was suspended and you let the kids with him
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Driving without a license doesn’t put your child in any more danger than if your ex had a license. He might get pulled over and get a ticket but that doesn’t put your kid in harm’s way. Don’t take away his child over child support. That will only hurt your child.
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You sound toxic af
First him having a state issued piece of paper or piece of plastic has nothing to do with his actual ability to drive.
Next custody should by default be 50/50 unless there are REAL safety issues.
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An active license or not, it doesn’t all of a sudden make him a dangerous driver? An active license doesn’t protect anyone from a car accident. Sounds like you’re finding an excuse to keep your son away from his dad.
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No driver’s license… no kid in the car and he needs to absolutely be paying his child support. Men get it too easy when it comes to being there for their own children in a divorce
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Nope not at all I did the same thing with my sons dad. I had a cop meet me at the pick up and run his licenses and he politely told him he couldn’t drive and most definitely not with our child. He said if he wanted his child he would call someone to get him and his vehicle and that the cop would wait to make sure he didn’t drive off when I left. He made his payment asap to get those licenses back because I had let the cops know hw was driving on suspended licenses
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No, he has to live up to his responsibilities, he can see his son, he can get an Uber or get someone to bring him to pu his child
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Do NOT let them leave with him. You would also be in trouble because you know the situation Talk to him about this
I certainly wouldn’t allow him to drive with our child is he didn’t have a license…but I would 
% drop the child off so the child can still see dad.
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The license wasn’t suspended for driving related issues. His ability to drive hasn’t changed at all. Just the licensing. You had no issue before now trusting his safety going with him. I think your being petty about it.
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Wow sounds like someone is a little butt hurt. You have been exchanging every other weekend are you doing 50/50 if so there is no need for child support. So bring it up to him don’t put it on social media as the damsel in distress situation talk to him it’s called communication. Hey I was informed of this situation is everything okay how can we resolve this I don’t want you to get in trouble and affect our child. Try it sometimes everyone all the time jumps to omg the dad is such an evil person and that stigma needs to stop.
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It’s not like he lost his ability to know how to drive. If you were concerned for his safety then you would have been concerned while he had an active license.
Believe me, I know the feeling of wanting to get him back somehow but keeping his kid from him isn’t the answer
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No not at all. I would drive him to see his dad. It’s not your son’s fault. If your son wants to see his dad then drive him there. Why is he driving without a license. It’s ridiculous
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OMG revoke the licence for none payment of a month…
Did you push for this via lawyer or was it automatically enforced…
Tbf that system is complete BS…
…
Side note, you could also get control of yourself and realize that you could drop the kid off at dads place until he gets his dl back. Only person you are hurting is your kid
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Talk to the court or a lawyer
Tf you being bitter…
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You’re using your kid as a pawn, so yea, you’re wrong. Maybe all of these comments will make you realize that what you’re doing is detrimental to your child and really fcked up.
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he get pull over and don’t have drivers license.he get arrested. charge with endangered meant and you also for allowing the child to go with him. and the department of family service will be involved.
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Why allow him access if he’s not paid over 2 years you thick or something
So drive your kid back and forth yourself. Why would you take away his ability to see his child when he’s an active father? You’re making your child pay the price because his father in financially unstable right now. That’s absurd.
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You’re not in the wrong and you know it. Your ex’s feelings are not your responsibility. Take care of you and yours. Report him and protect yours. Put your son’s best interest first always
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You could drop the kid off at dad’s instead of meeting him. But seriously having a suspended license for child support is not going to put your son in any more danger than he was in when he did have a license. Might get pulled over and get a ticket but no real danger than whats normal.
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Call police but my child would not be going
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No. Its a big fuck you to the people who do whats right. People shouldn’t be rewarded or made easy for doing wrong kid or no kid. Theres no special treatment. He should have someone else drive or figure another way out.
He if gets stopped and your child is with him how is that going to look? They will arrest him and impound his car.
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My ex has a suspended license. My kids do not ride with him. If he wants to drive to come see them and spend time with them that’s his decision but they don’t ride anywhere with him. If they want to go see him, I take them. If you aren’t concerned with the lack of child support then I would suggest closing your state controlled child support case and then going back to court to change your child support agreement. I don’t know what state you are in, but in Illinois you choose to let the state control your child support case. That has always been a hard no for me. I’m not a fan of child support for active Dad’s.
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You will be in just as much trouble as him for allowing him to drive if he’s pulled over.
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Just call the cops when he’s driving over. Problem solved.
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They’re in just as much danger riding with a licensed person than an unlicensed person. Worst that can happen is, he gets pulled over and ticketed. They’re not going to arrest him or take your kids because of it. If that was the case, my ol man would be UNDER the jail. He’s fully legal now. But for a couple years he drove on a suspended every day 
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Nope, not exaggerating 
I mean, he still knows how to drive right??
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No way should he be driving! And no way should your child be with him in the car sriven by him!
There’s more than one issue going on here:
-
child support and visitation are not mutually exclusive. They are both their own thing. Just because he doesn’t pay child support doesn’t mean you have the right to withhold visitation. The same way that it can be ordered to pay child support when the other parent doesn’t get visitation.
That is one MAJOR thing a lot of parents need to get straight. -
you know that your child’s actual physical safety isn’t the issue. He’s not “in danger” from having visitation with your ex.
Your ex didn’t loose his license because of a driving offense or some issue like that. He lost it due to lack of paying child support. (personal opinion: license suspension and criminal charges for not paying child support are absolutely ridiculous and completely counter productive because that limits the person’s ability to earn money and pay child support
). -
practicality speaking, your ex’s license is suspended. While he probably just would get a citation to appear in court if he was pulled over…there’s always the chance that he could end up getting arrested and that is an issue.
So I agree in not having your child in the car with him while he’s suspended.
However. You are absolutely wrong to withhold visitation completely. You can take the child to him for the time being. Not for him…but for your child’s sake.
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Dramatic? No you’re not. Thats your child and he’s doing something illegal. Id be calling the court house lawyer and cops! Hes being unreasonable by not making payments.
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No, you are not wrong. So many armchair quarterbacks here. The guy lost his license for not paying his child support. That is a measure taken in the state he lives in to penalize him and in an effort to get him to pay up…a lawful measure since he broke the court ordered child support. She is under no obligation to provide transportation and make things easier for him. Why should she? So he can see his dad who put himself in this position and obviously has no problem breaking the law again by driving with no license. In addition, she could also be scrutinized by child protective services if she allows her child to go with him knowing he has no license.
No judge has ordered HER to provide transportation now that he has no license and no judge would penalize her for refusing to let her son go with him. It blows my mind that anyone would believe that driving without a license, which would cancel any insurance, is ok. If he gets into an accident that is his fault, causes damage to property, injures or kills someone, what then? Is it okay for those victims to be left holding the bag to pay for damages, injuries, or even a funeral? Driving without a license in many cases is not a victimless crime. I would never knowingly put my child into a car whose driver has no license.
Of course the child should be able to see his dad and if dad sincerely cared about seeing his son he would move hell and high water to find a way to do so.
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You sound petty asf. How will him getting a ticket for a traffic violation? I can’t stand bitter bitches like you. You want to act slow and act like you don’t know what you doing
Either offer to do transportation and ask him for the money to do his half or tell him he’s needs to have licensed driver to drive. If he gets caught he will get a ticket or possible jail (depending on state and the law) plus endangering the welfare of a child and you will have to pick the kid up yourself regardless, car can possibly get towed as well. I’ve been thru this with my kids father as well
Having a suspended license as a punishment of not paying child support is extremely different than having a license suspension from a DUI or traffic violations.
But every single argument I agree with on here.
I can see all sides. I honestly don’t know what I’d do.
I’d probably be a woman about it and just drive the kids over until he got his shit together.
Times are extremely difficult right now and everyone needs some kind of help.
Don’t make your children suffer because I don’t believe these are ordinary circumstances
Yes come on now! 4 Pete’s sake let him see his kid!
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He didn’t lose his license for being a bad driver he lost it for being broke. If you don’t think he’s a good dad don’t send them but the license is just a ticket if he gets pulled over he’s not endangering the kid. If anything he’s trying to see them despite the circumstances. No reason to take kids away from half of their family because of money as long as he’s still taking care of them.
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I have a similar worry because my girls told me egg donor got pulled over with them and doesn’t have insurance or registration. If she gets pulled over again and the vehicle gets impounded, my kids will be stuck on the side of the road. Dad has agreed we check her paperwork before letting them in her vehicle again. Luckily she only remembers they exist about once a year.
Sounds like this is where Co-parenting really comes into play. Yes, it’s not your responsibility for all the transportation, but what if the shoe was on the other foot? Be a decent human now for your child’s sake and they will always remember you did everything you could for them to have both parents.
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He had his license revoked for NON PAYMENT… that is NOT safety related. So, yes, you ARE being dramatic.
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Lol do what. Why wouldn’t he be safe? He lost the license because he didn’t pay child support not for driving recklessly
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No you aren’t over reacting at all, he’s breaking the law and putting your son’s life on the line for driving with no license. Report him as he is also a huge risk to other road users. Good luck x
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Omg are you the police? Did you suspend his license to be the freaking police or to get your money? Let him be an adult and make his own mistakes. The police will only ticket him. Co parenting is not about overstepping boundaries… If you wanted him to consider your input you should have stayed as his significant other. Holy Crap.