My MIL would buy my daughter fancy dresses all the time. She would wear them frequently for dress up play. If the dresses were a little big it was even better because she could easily put them on or take them off easily by herself for her “fashion shows” by using them as dress up clothes they had numerous uses not only by my daughter but also her friends during play dates. I felt it was better they got lots of use vs a single occasion. We have so many photos of my daughter in her big fancy dresses from her Granny! Bonus they were worn on my daughters terms and always a positive time.
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Manipulative grandma:( But I would dress the child in ”her”((grandma’s clothes))-because they weren’t really a gift after all) and totally ignore any snide remarks. She has issues that you can’t fix and better to let her have her way so you and your husband can maintain peace. She’s an old woman and you might as well acquiesce since it’s better for your daughter to not be put in a position of conflict. I’m a person who avoids conflict when possible and this doesn’t seem like it’s worth getting anyone upset. You have to be the more mature person in this case.
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I buy clothes for my grandchildren to wear whenever and where ever they wish!!! Kids dont wear very clothes for very long because they out grow them. I think that was very thoughtful of you to remember to wear the clothes she bought to grandmas house.
I always ask what my grandkids need before I buy. And from very early on, I let them pick the colors and styles they are comfortable wearing.
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I’m not a grandmother but I figure when you give a gift, the only requirement is to have the child say thank you. After that, it’s none of your business what they do with it. I’d rather a gift be exchanged for something they want than let it hang in the closet . That’s just a waste of money.
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Let her know what she needs. If she still buys other things that she doesn’t need then oh well if shes upset. My mom and my husbands mom always asks us what the kids need before buying anything especially as they get older because their taste in clothes change. Or my mom will just get them gift cards and let them pick out something themselves this way she knows they will like it.
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I’m a grandmother and I buy clothes for my 4 grandsons but I do it because I love buying them stuff. I would never put strings on the gifts. I would never put pressure on the parents like that. She sounds like she is not doing it out of love
I am a grandmother of 4 girls… I have bought them clothes from places they liked while they were growing up. Now my oldest tells me what she likes. They are at the age now that I don’t know what to buy them so I just ask mommy and daddy. But I never expected them to have to wear them coming to my house.
When I buy my grand daughters clothing, I always give gift receipts and my parents have always done the same for my kids. The expectation is that if it doesn’t fit or is not needed or not liked then it would be returned with no questions asked. It’s not about the gift giver, it is about the child on the receiving end!! Shame on your mil for making it all about her!!
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My mother in law buys clothes for my kids all the time. They are at our house they are at her house they are everywhere. I usually let my kids pick what they want to wear even my 4 year old. My point I do think you are obligated to make them wear something. My mother in law completely understands that we are the parents and letting the kids pick their own clothes as long as it is in reason is just how we do it. If they wear what I bought them fine, if they wear what she bought them fine. As long as they are dressed in something. They both have clothes at her house and to be honest it just got to confusing as to what goes where so they are all mixed up. The only thing that stays at grandmas house is church clothes or dressy clothes. I keep play clothes and school clothes at home. But it really shouldn’t matter who bought what as long as the kids have clothes to wear.
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I always attach the gift receipt so the item can be returned or exchanged for whatever the child might need or want. I know my tastes are far different from my kids so go with it. I give money to the older grands. So much easier! Still love them all!!!
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I dont believe you should , I remember when my grandkids other grandma would buy clothes for my grandkids my daughter always had to exchange more than half of the clothes because either they did not fit or the kids did not like them so my daughter would have to exchange or buy something different but the grandma was ok with that
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That is awful. I always tried to dress my daughter in what my mother in law bought and never said a word if I didn’t like it. Now with my daughter…she has different tastes so I used to take pictures and text her before I bought anything…now my grand daughter is old enough to pick out what she likes .
Be patient. When daughter reaches a certain age, it will pass out of your hands. Grandma could also just take her shopping. When I was a child, grandma and I went thru the Sears catalog and chose.
IF I am understanding this correctly, you want to be the one to choose what your child’s grandmother buys for your child. And are willing to return her gift to get something you think she needs. I think it is you who does not understand what gift giving is. And you seem to have a issue with understanding what your role is and what your mother-in-laws role is. A lot of grandmothers don’t mind having their grown children tell them what their children needs. But it isn’t a grandparents job to buy needs, that is your job. I would be mad if I bought something and it was returned for something that my daughter in law thought was a better gift. I would also be irritated if I saw my grand child wearing clothes that another grandparent bought but my gifts were returned. IMO you blew this one, girl.
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It absolutely doesn’t bother me if my grandbabies don’t wear the clothes I find for them and it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if my DIL did this and just explained why she did it, I want those babies to have what they need and their parents know better than I do. And the son should step up to his mom and support his wife this is coming from having a son he needs to support his wife and child
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Being a grandmother I love buying things for my granddaughter, if there is something that she needs her parents are more then welcome to ask me, yes we love to see the kids in things we buy and if you told her the reason that the dresses were returned then she might understand a little better. The key here is communication.
Just tell your in-law that you loved all the clothes she has purchased in the past. Just don’t mention the two dresses and if she asked. Just tell her you made a mistake and that your very sorry that she got hurt.
Express how you love her and your husband. And you want harmony back in your relationship. Don’t argue or make excuses.
She should find forgiveness in her heart 
love is the only important issue 
Good luck honey 
Sounds to me like money might be a little tight with the mom, and perhaps also with Grandma, thus the dickering over “fancy” rather than practical, needs rather than pleasure, etc. It is up to the parents to meet needs, but it would be nice if Grandma helped too but remember, Grandma’s like to add the pretty stuff with their granddaughters…
This is such a small thing life is too short find away around this dont let it come between families theres so much more bad things out there then too let this take over your lives life is too short I know I have cancer makes me look at things different
Why do you dress your child in the clothes your mother gave her to visit your mother in law? I mean this is crazy are you trying to just piss her off ? So you know it brothers her but you choose to do it anyway. You are just as petty as she is.
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My husband’s mom is decreased. She was beautiful women. But she didn’t get to meet our kids, as they were born after her passing. But, if my mom wants to get something for the kids, she takes them out shopping. Because she wants to get them something they like. Or she and I go pick things out together. Or she asks what the kids need. I think it’s pretty disrespectful that the MIL goes around the mom like that. Why make the, what seems to be, strained relationship harder for the both of you?
I usually make a shopping day with grandchild and my daughter and we buy something that the child wants or likes and as the kids get older for Christmas and birthdays Easter we give cash that they spend on whatever they want . My grandchildren and kids are so appreciative of any thing we do . Love being a grandmother
All the gifts I give to grandkids and great grandkids are from my heart, what they do with them is up to them!
As a grandma I only buy clothes for my grandkids that is practical & can be worn everyday. Raising kids is expensive. If my son or DIL needed dressclothes for the kids & was having difficulty paying for it I would hope they would either ask me for money to get them or clue me in on whats needed. When I give anything there are no strings. Sure I like to see the kids in what I get them but I’m also aware that they grow fast so there’s usually a short window. Their parents are sharp enough to put the clothes on the kids at least once & just snap a picture. Whether they like the clothes or not. Really theres no reason for clothing to cause such a rift between thus woman & her MIL. It makes me think there’s much more to it than just clothes.
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Knowing me, every time I visited I would obnoxiously make a big deal about my daughter wearing a outfit her grandmother bought. I would go parade my daughter around to each person and say look what grandmother bought about 10 times. She wouldn’t ever bring that up again lol
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Take yourself out of the equation. Tell your husband that he may take your daughter to visit his mom, but you need a day to yourself. Let him dress your daughter and deal with any criticism. I had to do this with my MIL and it helped my mental health and my marriage.
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Take pictures of your daughter in the dresses before returning them. Send the MIL a nice handwritten thank you card letting her know she is appreciated and loved.
Work on this relationship for the sake of the family unit. You will all be happier when everyone is in harmony.
I’m a grandma and great and great great grandma. If I buy clothes toys whatever it Is either because their parents. Need a little help or because I think the child would like it or look cute in it. Not so they can be paraded in front of me so as to say look how good I am. Also a gift is a gift if you can’t give it with a free heart keep it. Does grandma even care how the child feels about the clothes. You husband is wrong to side with his mom if she sees lace on all his shirts and bows on his pants does he have to wear them to her house or to work.
Well i buy clothing for all my grands. I check with DIL and daughter for sizes and what is needed most at the time. I do see them wear them but i dont have to. I always give ticket in case it needs to be returned . I want them to have their needs met. I could care less what the others buy them. I am glad they have grandparents on both sides that buy for them.
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I buy things for my granddaughter weather they on sale or not if I think she’ll look cute in them they going to her. Kids out grow things so fast she probably wont get to wear them long anyways if at all because of how many she has she 8 months old and I love her I’m not rich bit if I have a little extra money I’m gonna spend it on her weither it be a toy diapers or clothes. I always ask if she needs anything before I drive the hour to go see her every weekend except when I’m sick just to keep her safe I stay home. I hope this grandmother understands that buying gifts are just that gifts and she shouldn’t worry bout clothes just love them babies that is what matters most.
I have a granddaughter who loves fancy sparkly clothes as well as your regular jeans, sweats, sneakers and (low) heels. I buy her whatever I want and sometimes she, or her mom may not like my choices. I’ve let her know that if there’s something she doesn’t like, feel free to donate it to another child or charity. I don’t feel like she’s obligated to wear what I bought, and neither should her mom feel that way. I’m happy knowing she chooses to donate, although most of the time she wears them. I feel like this grandma is a little controlling and somewhat petty. Don’t let her kill your joy. Enjoy your daughter.
I’m a grandma, I ask what they need at times I also buy seasonal I never expect to see my grandchild in the clothes every time they come to your house I’m just thankful they use them and that his mom needs to sit down and let you be a mom
It so sad that ladies always have a problem with their mother in laws.
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I mostly buy my granddaughter pajamas. I don’t expect to see her in the gift, I expect her to enjoy it and I don’t expect my taste to fit granddaughter’s taste or her parents taste. Maybe you can kindly suggest that to grandma, that pajamas would be appreciated, but I doubt that she will take it well. It may be time for hubby to speak up and make the suggestion to his mother.
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Grandma should remember life is too short ~ enjoy your grandkids while they’re still interested in you. I bought clothes up until grandDs started saying I don’t like ~ I love my grands & great grands with all my heart and money can be used for something they really need or want.
First send your husband to live with grandma let her take care of his ass sence is more concerned with her needs and feelings then his own children and his wife . You did what u needed to do take care of the kids. She needs to grow up and get a life Go Mama Go !!!
No hun don’t except that behaviour. I would of done the same. Pyjamas are more important than fancy dresses you little girl will only wear a hand full of times. Before she grows out of it. I feel your mother in law is being unreasonable. She is your child and you need to sed boundaries. She has no Wright to dictate what your child wears. I would write her a letter explaining your feelings on the matter. Explaining you won’t be presured into anything. As your the little girls mother. So it’s your choice. I hope it’s all gets sorted. Good luck. Xx
- Your husband should not be involved or take a stance over such a petty matter. I am a grandmother. I have had shining examples of how to be a wonderful grandmother. You did nothing wronf and especially buying cuddly pajamas is like a hug from the grandmother everytime your daughter. Very noble of you to get something your daughter needs.
- Do not be a victim of this immature woman’s behavior just because she is an elder in your family. I would be civil and polite to the grandmother, but certainly not let her get to my feelings. You have wronged no one.
- As a seasoned Granny, I know better even by age 3, than to bur a kid clothes that they did not pick out themselves.
I don’t allow clothes with writing (for the most part). Other than that it’s free game. Buy a fancy Easter dress that fits when it isn’t Easter?! We wear it when it fits…to school, the store, or because it’s a day that ends in ‘y’. If my kids like it, we wear it.
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Invite your mother in law to spend a day to take her granddaughter shopping and let everyone pick out the appropriate clothing, what they need at the time and a fancy for a just because day All will be happy and memories will be made of time spent together.
Ok well I grew up with the same thing never ok to return unless it’s a size thing . As a grandma myself I like to see them wear it but not a big deal tell your husband to help you smooth it out
She’s a person, not a doll. Grandma needs to chill out or back off.
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My Gramma (dad’s mom) always took the moms shopping with her so she could get what the grandchildren needed/like in terms of clothing. She also kept all the receipts incase something didn’t fit. She never had the expectation of seeing us in the clothes but thought it was a bonus if she did. All the expected was a phone call saying thank you. My Nana (mom’s mom) was the same way. They both also believed that fancy clothes no matter how cute were not for them to buy but would offer to pay for them if they were needed for a special event/day.
My sister inlaw when putting her children in a new outfit from someone will take a picture and send it to them so we can see the child in the outfit we bought. Children get so many clothes from people it’s not a fair expectation to want to be able to see them wear every outfit you buy them.
This was obviously a gesture of love from Gramma. I think Gramma was very hurt over this. I dont think you realized it at the time. I personally would take it as an expensive life lesson. I would apologize and say I don’t realize it would offend you or I would not have done it. Hopefully time will heal. If not, your conscience is clear. You know you did all you can do to mend the situation. Hopefully Gramma comes around. Be patient. If she doesn’t, thats her choice.
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I do not believe that you are obligated to have your daughter wear the clothing so that Grandma sees her in them… BUT, it is an act of love, and of kindness, to do so!! I am a Grandma, and a Great grandma, and I sometimes buy the little ones clothing. I long to see them in the outfits, even a photo would be nice!! It is not always easy for an elder person to know the right thing to buy, but in my experience, Grandma’s buy from their heart, and want to feel close, even momentarily, to the little ones! Perhaps a photo for Grandma???
I don’t think there is any obligation to dress your child in something that someone bought them on visits with that person, but I always enjoy seeing something that I bought for a child on them… I know it isn’t always easy to do this, but as a grandmother I still like to see my grandsons wearing something I bought for them… Now that my sons are adults, I like to see them wearing a shirt I bought for them also… There is no rule, but I know it feels good to some of us…
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I’m sorry but just think a Grandmom has heart buy grandkids clothes how hard as adult to put it on when she comes are you adult or a child you can give some respect. Or are you to good for that.
A gift, is just that, a gift. If for whatever reason, as a mom, you either use it or return it, is up to you. I give the gifts because I love my girls… No expectations to “see” them in the clothes. Wow
Unfortunately, this kind of thing has gone on forever! I’m a grand mother now. 1) I remember my grandmothers trying to “out do” each other not with extravagant gifts, but because they were jealous of each other. 2) Grandparents might provide things for grand kids when they come to visit. 3) It makes sense to keep extra things at grandparents home. <3
I am a grandmother of 9!! I have never heard of such selfish acts from the grandparents! This is totally ridiculous and sad. I am blessed with having these precious babies around and yes I have purchased clothing “gifts” for everyone of them with the understanding that if they didn’t like or need to exchange them that, that was perfectly okay. YOU ARE THEIR MOTHER!!! Shame on those adults that are playing this insane selfish game! (And as far as your husband…you are as one…time to cut those apron strings son and support your wife!)
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Grandparents buys for their grandchildren because they love them. Our taste in clothes is different sometimes. Have a talk with her.
My mom did the same thing. Spent lots of money on party type dresses for my daughter. She would get upset if she never saw them worn. I finally had to ask her to stop, that if she insisted on buying clothes, to find out what my daughter needed, not what my mom wanted her dressed in. Until we had the conversation, I would dress my daughter in the gifts, take pictures and make sure Nana saw them. It was such a waste of money for my tomboy girl…
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A gift is a gift, once it is given to the grandchild, it is no longer your worry. If you wanted to gift the child clothing,. The mother should have been aware. Then the mother could tell you, what the child needed . Don’t be upset when she dislikes your dresses. It is Her child and your son’s. They know how they want to dress their daughter. They had 5 yrs of practice. Do not relive how you would dress your daughter (if you have one) through theirs. Let them live, life is too Short. Peace and love.
As a nana, I try to buy granddaughter practical clothes she will wear daily to play in or needs, not fancy stuff anyway, but I don’t care what she wears as long as I get to see her. Time with her is my gift.
In terms of helping to repair the relationship; What about taking a picture of your daughter in the outfit and sending it to your MIL? Then you can return it or whatever.
Because she gets mad if you dress your daughter in clothes from her other Gma, I suspect that there is a deeper issue at work here (i.e. jealously, insecurity) and that’s why your mil gets upset.
You have a good point. Grandparents are very sensitive about things sometimes. Of course we live to see our grandkids wear what we buy them. I would apologize to her fully acknowledging your lack of sensitivity. Sometimes life is just hard and we
Com to realize the importance of love and acceptance. Value what is important and refuse to let the small stuff bother you❤️
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I have 5 grandchildren. I have learned to ask their mother what they would prefer or if the children need things like winter coats etc. Its pretty hard to know what parents and children like without asking
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You are not required to put them especially with your daughter getting older she may not like them. I would have asked about returning the dresses first, grandma may have gone out to buy the needed Jammies. My mother in law sister in laws and sister are the same way… to make them all happy as soon as I put the clothes I take a picture and send it to those who bought it
I’ve told my kids that if the clothing doesn’t fit or they need something else, take it back. At Christmas, I ask what they need first. Always check with the mother!
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Your MIL is too sensitive about thing but that whole turning them in for something’s else is a big no no. It was a gift that actually didnt have strings she just wanted to see them in those pretty dresses and you could’ve bought the pajamas yourself.
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I get my grandchildren whatever I want to get them (except for the foofy waste of money items)…this being said, my girls also know that if my grands need PJs, undies, shoes, pull-ups…I’m gonna be getting what they need too.
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I agree with the suggestion of using the clothes when appropriate and sending Grama a photo and dressing her in whatever is appropriate when you come to visit. I do not agree with your MIL being a child about it. At the end of the day- they’re clothes. They’re supposed to serve a purpose and, if they don’t, you are allowed to swap them for stuff she needs. I set a precedent myself when I was growing up that I do not want PJs at Christmas- I wasn’t a PJ kid. Everyone respected it and it was a non-issue. My stepmother, however, would go out of her way to trade in EVERYTHING my grandmother bought her children to a thrift shop and get them other stuff. Mind you- everything was practical, age & size appropriate.
Your husband needs to get on your side about this. He needs to understand that you are trying and making conscious efforts but you are feeling cornered.
As soon as she was old enough, I’d take my granddaughter shopping and let her pick out what she wanted! There were very few times I’d just say let’s look at something else!! She’s 15 now and we went shopping and she did very well with her choices and her mixing and matching!! True….our tastes are a little different, but I’d never get her something she wouldn’t want to wear!! Only one time that I can remember I got her a dress that was really cute and she could wear it for a long time, depending on how fast she grew in height!! She was with me, really liked it, and it looked great!! But I don’t remember ever seeing her wear it!! Girls need other that jeans!!
This Grandma needs to grow up!!! I have 9 grandchildren . When I buy clothing for them I try to remember to include a gift receipt so that if it is the wrong size or if parents want, they they can return for something else. I have never heard of a rule that the recipient of a gift has to like it
I buy my grandson clothes all the time he wears everything I buy and if he doesn’t like it I return it. This grandma needs to calm down it’s clothes. This whole family situation sounds petty
My kids grandparents buy them what they know they’ll wear & for the season. No one asks to see them in said clothes like a fashion show.
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If you want a “good” relationship with her, you’ll obviously have to do everything exactly as she wishes.
Now ask yourself honestly… Is it worth it? (Maybe yes, maybe no) And go from there.
I personally wouldn’t exchange a gift unless it was for a different size. I’d take pictures and send them if the dresses weren’t appropriate for visits.
In this circumstance, I don’t think there’s is a definitive right or wrong.
But there is probably a good compromise in there somewhere for all of you 
As a Nana of course we expect to see our babies in what we bought them. At least take pics of her in the clothes and send it to her. Not to be mean but you sound like you don’t appreciate it.
When it came to my four grandsons I have to admit it was kind of easy!! But when it came to my two granddaughters… when they were little it was easier, but as they got older it was more fun to take them shopping and let them pick out their own stuff and then go out for lunch:hugs:
the two girls are 14 years apart so it’s been a lot of shopping fun!!
For years, I took my grandkids shopping for their birthdays, Christmas I usually gave money with the promise of a shopping trip after the holiday. They loved it, we did lunch after shopping. Most times Mom tagged along. I think you should have it out with MIL and husband. Point out all the times you dressed her in gifted clothes. She sounds like a real pain.
Tell Gram not to buy clothes any more.That this is not a clothes war but a power struggle. Enough is enough. You are the mom. She had her turn with her own kids.
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My mother never has that sort of strings attached to when she buys my son clothes. She knows it may take a while to ever see them. Seems toxic as fuck and I’d put your foot down with hubby. Yes she is his mom but you are his wife, and his job is to have your back against anyone causing issues. He should be taking your side
Go find the dresses again and have your daughter try on the dresses take pictures with your camera phone that are special and then go have them printed up and buy a beautiful frame for each picture and bless your mother in law with them as a gift. Give her a card. Explain to her you are a first time mom and you are going to make mistakes and ask her advice. Blessed are the peace makers.
Grandmas do get great joy from seeing their grandbabies in clothes they bought and I think you knew that bc you make sure she’s dressed in grandmas clothes.
As far as returning things, I can understand her some. She prob thinks you do that with a lot of stuff tho since you did it once.
I would just ignore her being dramatic. Let her dress her up at her house and you and your husband do your own thing clothing wise at home. His mom isn’t changing.
MIl should never interfere. Let their parents decide for their kids to wear. Let them be parents!!
If at best, give them money for their education. DIL… be sensitive to grandma’s affection to their grandkids. Maintain a good relationship with her. You not only married your husband but his family as well…
I am a grandmother of five. I always confer with my DIL what she thinks best as gifts. Respect is the key…
As a grandma, I love to see the children in the clothes I buy for them, I don’t expect it, but it is nice, but if I never see the clothes I bought,so be it, I bought it with love and if I see ok if not ok If you need to return something I buy for something else that is needed good, go get what you need. It’s for the child not a show
Try having your husband talk to grandma. Explain the child is at a point she wants to choose her owm clothes. Offer to take her shopping with the child. It could be fun and you and the child would have some say.
I would tell her your child has developed an i by allergy to some things and fabrics so dr says do not put into fabrics not on the list. My child was this way and even certain colors in some material would cause itchy ness so dr said watch fabrics.
Maybe you need to take a break from this grandma for a while. She sounds like trouble. Life is too short.
my mother-in-law live far away from us but in the fall we would go visit her and she would buy my girls their winter coats. all happy
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I think your mom in law has some issues!! Your child dress her in what you want!! I have given my grandchildren clothes often always been thanked and appreciated but if I don’t see them in it it’s all good as long as I get to see my grandkids!! Don’t care what they have on!!!
Ummm that is narcissist control by the grandma. 
Kids outgrow clothes… and styles. You gonna make her wear something that she is uncomfortable in at 13 just for the sake of what grandma wants her to wear? NO! Nip that shit now! I’m sorry but your husband is wrong to allow that kind of control or bullying over you by your MIL. I did it for 20 years. Hence to say I am now divorced.
I buy my great grandson and great granddaughter who are twins clothes. Before I do, I ask their grandma (my daughter) if they would wear them or not. If I do buy them something that I haven’t asked my daughter about, I don’t get upset if they don’t wear them. If my daughter wants to replace them with something else they need, that’s just fine with me. My mother-in-law treated me this way too and my husband always agreed with her. My mother would make dresses for my daughter and if I wore them on her when we would go visit his mother, she would make remarks as to why I never wore on her what she bought. I politely told her you’ve only bought her one dress. Do I need to wear it on her every time we come visit you? She finally quit making an issue out of it.
If I as the grandma buy the darlings clothes. There is no expectation that they have to wear them!!! In fact my daughter has said oh no!!! That outfit is a grams house outfit!!! Yes it is nice when they where them. But she is the mom. Not me.
As a grandma let’s be clear. You have bent over backwards to please this miserable lady. Do I like to see the kids in what I bought? Yes. Is it required? No. Are MY feelings hurt if it is exchanged? No. This is a gift and I would rather teach my children to expect that gifts have no strings attached. Oh and to say thank you.
My advice? (I have 3 grown children and grandchildren. ) stop trying to make everyone happy. As a grandparent who buys clothes for her grandchild, I don’t care if she wears the clothes to my house or not. It’s a gift. No strings. It’s nice to see her in the outfits but I’m not going to get upset over it. That is just a narcissistic behavior in general. If you spend your entire life trying to make everyone else happy you will go insane. You owe nobody an explanation or excuse. I would simply just live life not wasting wasting energy. I would simply thank her for the gift and allow your daughter to choose what she wants to wear and when.
I always take pictures of our girls wearing or using the items the grandparents gave as gifts that way we dont have these issues (not that either grandparents would act that way). With the fancy dresses you could have atleast had some pictures done before returning them for the pjs. Sorry your having such a hard time and your husband should stand behind you not his mother.
Grama here. Although Id love to see my grandkids in stuff Ive gifted, I dont expect it. A gift is a GIFT. You lose control of it when its given away.(because its a GIFT !)
Shame on your hubby for allowing this to happen. Its his mother-this is on him. He needs to step up and straighten this out.
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I buy clothes for my granddaughter to help out her parents. If she/they dont like them they can take them back. Of course my granddaughter is 9 and won’t hesitate to tell me she doesnt like it lol.
As a grandmother it is great to see my grandkids in something I bought but it doesn’t always happen but a lot of times if does it makes me happy but if they need something more gladly exchange it and I enjoy it because soon they reach an age that I I can’t buy anything in there style you have tried not your fault husband should work with you you don’t deserve it
My grandfather loved to buy dresses for my cousin and me. They also were dresses that were church going clothes. I don’t remember mom returning any. Story I do recall is when my mom didn’t put the correct dress shoes with one of the outfits. Because my cousin is 16 months younger she got my hand me downs also.
Just tell grandma what clothes she needs. Explain to her your daughter is active, likes to play & get dirty & you dont want the dresses to get ruined or the money wasted on them. Make sure she knows you appreciate the $ she spends on her.
I have purchased fancy dresses for my Granddaughters too. My Daughter Inlaw has always been very appreciative of the things I buy them. I don’t know if it was her or I who came to the conclusion that fancy dresses weren’t really practical and a waste of money if they couldn’t wear them more than once. I always try to ask her what they need most, and she will tell me if they have enough of one thing or the other. I want to give them things that they need.
All grandma’s want is to be the best for their mokos. My mother is buying things all the time for the kids. But thats just it for the kid. Try to view the positive that your kids have this type of support.
Exchanging the dress for pyjamas was a bit much. In regards to your relationship just smile and wave… your child is nearly at that age where they will voice their own opinions to their grandparents.
U should not have returned the dresses… that’s probably the problem right there. Between u and your husband… yall couldn’t get the pajamas instead of returning the dresses… I don’t understand
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Take one of the outfits & take your daughter to have pictures done & “gift” the grandmother a portrait of your daughter in the outfit. She will see that you deemed the outfit worthy enough for pictures & maybe that will help! 
I have my kids send me links of what my grandkids want. Just forgive her and go on. It’s hard for us grandmas to accept the fact what we think is great isn’t necessarily what the kids think is great.
I would have just made sure I took a picture of everything on her and went on. Then they couldn’t say she never had it on. And if they choose to buy and keep it at their home best thing they could do in the circumstances.
I would never buy a fancy dress for a child or tween unless she had an occasion for one. Most children prefer their jeans and shirts. Or perhaps new PJs.
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