It shouldn’t be thought of as an Obligation:
I for one received those “fancy” dresses for my daughters from their grandmother, they loved dressing up in them , I’m so glad. To day they are grown and love the memories of her gifts in pictures
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Returning the dresses was a little rude. I mean, I don’t expect the grandparents to be the providers of all that is “needed.” I would have just dressed her in the dresses and bought pajamas on my own. The mother in law seems a bit sensitive though. Why not bring over a treat (a coffee, brownies, whatever she likes) and have a heart to heart while the kids play? Apologize for anything you might have done to hurt her and explain that you would like to be better friends now. Be the bigger person. Thank her profusely for thinking of your daughter when buying clothing. Ask if there is anything you can do for her. It is in my nature to value peace over always being “right” and having victory over petty disagreements. If she is a reasonable lady she’ll come around. As for your husband, if he sees you being kind and grateful to his mom, he might be more inclined to take your side from time to time.
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Would it hurt just to let your child wear the clothes grandma want be around forever and what does it hurt pick your battles small things to make someone happy
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Take a photo of your daughter wearing the clothes and send it to grandma with a thank you note.
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I have three grandchildren, if they dont like what I buy them so be it. Return it. I dont wear what I dont like…instead if buying stuff for her, I would rather spend time with her…memories are remembered long after crap we can buy…talk to her, she will hopefully understand…
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Mother in law needs to grow up! You do not HAVE to dress a child in clothes SHE buys when visiting. Who could possibly keep track of who buys what??? And if your child needed something specific then she should have gotten her that, or at least ask what is needed
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In wondering how you were raised and your Morales in not knowing that gifts from Grandmothers are always worn. I bet if we looked further we would find other deficiencies or personality traits that are off.
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I’m a grandmother and when I buy my grandchildren clothes I have now expectation except that they will wear them when their mother deems they are appropriate. This grandma needs to stop giving things to the kids with expectations
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I saw a little girl in a fancy dress at a pumpkin patch. Sometimes it depends on what she wants to wear. But for the sake of the relationship with GMA, don’t return her gifts. Also dress daughter in gift immediately on receiving said gift. Take a picture and send to gma.
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You won’t understand it until you are a grandmother. We buy clothing to help for one thing. We don’t do it with the “expectation” of seeing the grandchildren in the clothes. But we DO consider it a nice gesture. Kids grow so fast that they only wear something a couple times before they outgrow it anyway. Stop being so petty and let her wear the clothes grandma bought so she can see how she looks in them. It may not be a big deal to you but, trust me, it is a big deal for your mother-in-law. Do you treat your mom the same way?
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If grandparents buy clothing yes they like to see the kids using it. When my kids were little I could not remember after the first time they wore an outfit who bought it, so the first time they wore something I’d take a picture and send it to the family member. Your all are lucky to have your parents and you child is lucky to have Grandma’s that love them. Mine were not so lucky but we have other family that do an amazing job. Just take pictures and send them if they wear the super fancy dresses somewhere, and.maybe sit down with your mil and explain what happened and why you returned them for what she needed.
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This is ridiculous !! As a grand mother and 5x great grandmother, I have never Expected anything when I buy them gifts of clothes. And if it wasn’t something they could wear then take it back and something they can. This woman is only thinking of herself not that child. It is all about her and she should be ashamed.
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I’m a grandmother and have no expectation of seeing my grandchildren in the clothes I buy them. If their mom wants to exchange them for something needed, go for it. I’d be happy to know I helped. I just want to see my grandchildren and see them happy. Your mother in law sounds a little controlling and selfish. Don’t waste your time and energy on trying to please her.
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Geeez let your daughter wear that fancy dress to Grandma’s house to play in. Who cares if it’s fancy or slightly to big. It’s just a dress…
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It’s your little girl. Not hers. Buy the Mil a gift of clothes and I hope she wears them when she visits with you.
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I have 3 grandbabies … I buy cloths to help my kids out …not expect a fashion show to boost my ego …I actually have told my kids if I buy something and the grandbabies Need something else feel free to return or exchange the cloths .
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It sounds like you’ve done a great job trying to make sure your Mil is happy. If she doesn’t see that, it’s her problem. Your hubby needs to open his eyes. You can’t fix them. They need to fix themselves. You keep doing you.
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I buy clothes for my grandson and I don’t care where he wears them. I buy them for HIM, not for me. My daughter and my grandson’s father are not together any longer. My grandson wears clothes I have bought him to his father’s home too. My point being-when I buy something for my grandson, it’s for him. It’s not for me and doesn’t come with strings or expectations. He doesn’t need to wear it for me or only when he’s “on my side.” He can wear the clothes, play with the toys, etc because a gift is a gift!
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Maybe you could photo the child in dress and send to Grandma in a thank you card.
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I was proud to have clothes my mother or motherin law bought my kids
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As a grandma of a few grandchildren, I always asked the parents what they needed. Gift cards from a clothing store or money has always worked. Cash always works when they were teens. Or, I love taking my twin granddaughters shopping! The boys love cash. No expectations. Keep it simple
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Sometimes I don’t even remember what I buy my grandsons. If my DIL says the kids need this or that, I buy it, but I seldom remember what it looks like. Toys, too. She will say to me, “ You bought this.” I say, “ Really? I don’t remember.” And I don’t.
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Wow! You would think that she would only want the best for her grandchild, which includes warm pjs! I would ignore her very bad and spoilt brat behaviour, let her have her wee tantrums, don’t even discuss it with your husband shrug your shoulders and keep moving, and just remember that it’s her behaving badly not you! And dress your daughter in whatever you like, your Mother n law isn’t your boss, up her bum!!
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I have spent a lot of money on my grandson and never seen him in any of the clothes he is 5 months old now. I have no issues and dont care. I am 61 so classed as old but i still say some old people get bored and over sensitive. Your son is grown up let him and his wife do as they please they dont need to please you grandma
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Maybe you should have discussed with grandma before you returned the dresses and got pajamas. During the conversation you could have informed grandma the dresses were too big etc. But be thankful my son didn’t get gifts from that side of the family
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Sounds like she is very controlling! You tried to dress your daughter in gifts from here that fit. Just do your best and remember it is her problem not yours!
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I remember my Grandmother ( I’m 64)taking me downtown to a big store and buying me beautiful dresses that they’d put in big boxes with tissue paper. Never felt so special! Is this an option? A fun day shopping and lunch out?
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First of all, the husband needs returned. 
Anyway, my mil and my mother both buy both my kids clothes all the time. Sometimes they get to wear them, sometimes they don’t. I haven’t had to return anything to get anything else though. But, I mean, they’ve never EXPECTED to see the kids in the clothes. I usually just dress them in the clothes then send them pictures. Now that we moved away from our mothers, that won’t change. They can buy them clothes and I’ll still send pics of the kids in them as long as they fit and are weather permitting. 
if mil wanted to see your daughter in the clothes, it isn’t hard to specify that.
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Buy grandma dresses to wear when she visits at either house and make them really ugly that way she’ll know how it. FEELs
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I have been through this, so I totally understand. When you and your husband married, you became one, of course he can express his feelings to you in private, not his mother. A gift is a gift, and as long as the child is wearing it that should be satisfying to her. Having to worry about dressing her in an outfit bought by her every time you visit is to much. Sounds like you have tried to satisfy everyone and make them happy, sounds like mother in law needs to step back and quit being so high maintenance, and remember her place, which is not the decision maker in your home, but as a grandma whose opinion would be valued if it wasn’t pushed. Guess you can tell I went through this, lol, I’m 56 and it still burns a little, don’t let it be that for you, BOUNDARIES
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It is a “gift” for a reason. I want my kids to be practical—if my grandkids need pajamas, make an exchange. I have always been specific with my kids and grandkids—“ if it doesn’t fit, or isn’t what you need/want—-return it!” Sheesh!! Grandma should be thankful for a visit- regardless of attire.
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As a mom and grandma I buy clothes for my grands, but I’ll often ask the moms first if there is anything they need and confirm sizes before I buy. It should always be about the child, not about me! That being said, does your husband come from a family of all boys? If so, could your MIL be looking at your daughter as the little girl she always wanted? Not excusing her behavior, just trying to understand her motivation.
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It is not important if they wear them or not. I switched to things the child wants and let the parents take care of needs. My 2 year old great granddaughter loves fruit and healthy snacks. Not with her much but there is always fruit and snacks while we enjoy a wanted item.
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Grandma sounds like a petty lady with too much time on her hands. My kids’ grandparents (on both sides) will ask if they need anything. Or gift them other things. My grandparents would take us kids shopping and let us pick out our own clothes.
The grand daughter is not a doll for her to play with. Consider getting your mother in law some barbies and doll clothes for Christmas since she seems to love playing dress up so much.
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Sounds like you married a mommas boy, he should be standing up for you, not her. These don’t sound like gifts, these sound like her way to continue to control. I would tell my husband to step up, or you and your daughter will no longer visit. He is supposed to be your man , not mommas little boy
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A gift is a gift use it how you please not how the gift giver pleases. As for dealing with this woman she obviously is a control freak and needs to be put in her place. As for the husband he needs to learn how to tell his mother she’s being controlling and it needs to stop. She had her husband and children. This is your life not hers. Your child is lucky to have grandparents and all should dote on her as life is short fighting over a dress is absolutely ridiculous.
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It sounds like there may be other reasons and grandma doesn’t like you that you don’t know about if she has made you feel terrible about other things and your husband should be taking her side not his mothers
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Not exactly the same problem as you having, just a testimony. When my daughter was young I bought her a whole wardrobe of what I wanted her to wear. Darling clothes, but not her style. It was a fight every time I wanted her to wear them.
One day in prayer I read this Scripture: Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
I boxed up all those clothes and gave them to a young girl who loved them. Problem solved!
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Grandmas are adorable, but sometimes they need to be stopped before their kindness gets out of hand to the point it becomes unbearable. “Granny thank you for the lovely 
gift, but it didn’t fit right, and I don’t want to keep it in the closet for a whole year. So I exchanged it for something that your granddaughter needed.”
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As a grandmother I’m much more interested in the time spent with her, not what she wears. I tend to buy books but memories aren’t made with stuff. If the family needs something we pitch in to help but it’s always up to the parents what the child needs.
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I’m a grandma of 13 including 2 great grands & they are always so excited about the clothes bag the kiddos get for their birthdays. It helps them out financially for everday clothes, special occasions & school clothes. I always check on need & sizes before I shop & if I’m not sure of smthing I’ll call/send pics if I’m not sure on something while I’m shopping. They have always been most appreciative & are free to exchange anything. I take wearing them around me as a courtesy & to let me see how cute they look in them. At a point as teenagers I gave gift certificates & money & they wld let me know what they bought. It should be an enjoyable experience with no strings attached.
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She is hanging on to what little control she thinks she has because the granddaughter is part mom/dad. And she thinks she has some kind of control because she is grandma. Thats what it comes done too. Any normal grandma wouldnt care what a kid had on and just appreciate the visit. Just dont pay attention to it. She will eventually stop once your reacting stops.
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I think your mother in law needs to stop acting like a child and move on and you and your husband I’m sure have more essential things to worry about. The grandmother should have been grateful you got something the child needed!! I buy my granddaughter clothes all the time and couldn’t care less if I see her in them
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I have the best daughter in law! I ask what the kids would like/ want. She lets me know, buy it and all happy! I do buy clothes for them, but always say if you need to exchange it, that’s fine! I’m a very lucky/ loved grandma❤️
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When I buy gifts for my grandchildren ,it is a gift I give with my heart and if my daughter in laws feel it’s not appropriate or if the child needs something worse then by all means they have my blessings after all the gift is for the child to benefit from not me.
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Can’t get past the fact that your husband sides with her. So wrong for your relationship and your child. He needs to be neutral or keep his mouth shut
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I buy my granddaughter clothes that I think she needs and fit. If she doesn’t like it or it doesn’t fit I would hope her mother returns it for something more useful. That’s why I always give her the receipt lol. If she needed pajamas that’s what I would want her to have. Good luck
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No from a grandmothers point of view . Be straight with her (grandmother) especially if you don’t like it. It’s your child your choice . If I buy something and they don’t want it or like it I tell them to tell me so I take it back or let them take it back and get what they like I am not offended at all. I dressed my children you dress yours we may not agree but in the end it is your child.
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I’m a Grandma. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I do by my 3 grand children clothes. I always send pics to their mothers and ask if it’s ok. I also give them the receipt in case it doesn’t fit right or they don’t like it. I have e 13 year old, 3 and 8 months. All girls. I always tell them it won’t hurt my feelings if you return it. I’d rather the money be spent on something they’ll wear.
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Ridiculous! A sweet grandmother just loves their grandchild and loves the mother for raising their grandchild and being good to their son. When I buy for my grandson, I always tell them they can return if need be. The goal is for them to be happy. The most important thing is love and happiness. She is not being kind to you and her son is supposed to put you, his wife, above all others. Im pretty sure thats in most if not all wedding vows.
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As the grandma I would say grandma is wrong. The parents are in charge, no matter how you feel. It’s too bad you don’t get enough support but that doesn’t make you wrong. I wouldn’t try to change anybody’s mind. Hang in there.
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I buy my grandchildren and great grandson gifts all the time. I tell the kids if you dont like it keep the tags on it and we can return it together. It works for us plus I get one on one time with my grandkids.
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As a grandma (MiMi) I will say this - when I buy clothes for my grands sometimes it’s bc I like them and would like to see them on the children. And sometimes it’s bc I’m trying to help lighten the load of purchasing clothes on the parents. While I don’t want the parents to feel “obligated” to put the clothes on the children when they visit, it is disturbing to think that my money has been wasted and the clothes don’t get worn at all. While things I buy are gifts, I’d like to know that it’s appreciated & utilized rather than my money wasted.
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How and why would either Grandparent even know who bought who’s clothes? You said she gets mad if you dress her in the other Grandparents clothes?? Y’all know way too much about about each other! Sounds like there is more going on than granny mad about clothes here.
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It’s a gift, do what you want with it. I always have given the child what they need. Very selfish of the grandma to get outfits that she can only wear on at her place. Shame on her!
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I can understand where granny is coming from. Instead of mom going out and buying the pajamas she needed, she returned the dresses bc she felt they weren’t practical to wear on a visit. To her it could’ve seemed a little ungrateful, children aren’t obligated to wear what people buy them. But I’d be mad too if someone returned a gift that I bought for something the PARENT wanted the child to have. The name calling isn’t necessary, and she could just continue to do what she’s doing(keeping the clothes at her house)instead throwing it in your face. She’s seems very salty bc she did something thoughtful and to her it probably seems like a slap in the face to see her in what her other gp’s brought her and you returned her gifts.
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I am a grandma to twin girls and if i went out and bought fancy dresses for them. Of course i would want to see them in those dresses and of course i would be upset if those dresses got returned for a pair of fuzzy pj’s. Because…
A: a couple of fancy dresses are way more expensive than a pair of fuzzy pj’s
B: If they needed warm pj’s, i would be happy to get them those too.
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Just my opinion: it’s not about the clothes at all. Your mil feels disrespected and unliked by you. Save the stress on your husband and yourself and do something like write a personal ltr to her and say Thank you for the clothes, we appreciated them, I’m sorry if it didn’t seem like I did. I exchange the beautiful dreses as xx desperately needed pj’s and this was the way I could get them. Show her appreciation and openess and before u know it she will be kinder towards u.
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I talked my granddaughters with me and let them pick their own clothes out. They know what they like and their the one that have to wear it to school. I do it.to help and for my babies, no.strings attached. I wish their other grandma would do this too, she doesn’t buy them anything. Your MIL is cray cray and is to controlling. I wouldn’t bother with her.
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Randomly text her pictures of your child, with the clothes she bought, as well as cute poses. Add 
's. That’s the best you can do.
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It’s a stupid idea for a Grandma to buy something and expect a kid to wear it. As a Grandma myself, I take my grandchild shopping, and allow the child to pick out the clothes, within a budget. The clothes are tried on, then, to see if they fit. When your child goes to visit grandma, THAT’S when she should take the child out for a shopping trip. Otherwise, tell her to send money and you’ll take her shopping yourself.
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I’m a mother of 3 and grandmother of 3. When I give a"gift" to anyone no matter the value no matter the item, it belongs to them now and its up to them what they do with that “gift”. I choose to give with no expectations and no strings attached. My gift giving is a kindness, not a business. What others choose to do w that kindness is up to them.
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Remember to let it go, ok that happened now move on, visit if-it is mentioned just move on, it sounds like buying clothes for the girls is her way of showing love, use her outfits, let the kids know grandma loves them. Stop looking for a reason to build a wall, shes only trying to help, Obviously she has gotten her feelings hurt, rebuild your relationship she is your husbands mom she loves him and is only trying to help, i understand returning her dresses hurt her feelings, im sure she just wants to be apart of there life
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I’m a grandma and I’m thinking she bought those fancy in the Hope’s that if an occassion called for that like church or Christmas program at school that she would be invited to see her granddaughter in the beautiful dress. I used to buy three outfits for each of my grandchildren on their Birthdays and Christmas and now I take them shopping now that they are older and can pick out what they want.
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I have grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I always ask the parents for a list and pick gifts from that. My granddaughter lives dress up so I buy her princess dresses but make sure she doesn’t already have them. A few gifts have been put up as being too old for the kids and I’m fine with that. A gift is just that. A gift not an obligation.
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I always took my granddaughter shopping !! And took them shopping for my grandson !! Now my great grandsons I’ve have two I buy them what ever they want mainly my three year old lol but I make it up to my 11 year old they are brother
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My idea as a grandma is take a picture of the child right away size appropriate or not. For the “grandparents” your husband is afraid of his mother
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This is a no-brainer: when sending the girl over to grandma’s, tell Dad “Go get her dressed/pack her bag”. Then sit back and watch Dad struggle to figure out what items were bought by Grandma. Just take your hands off the issue.
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As a Gramma of 3, I always ask the Moms what the kid’s need and ask the kids for a list of what they like. When it comes to clothes, my daughter in law has the kids choose several things and I make a choice from their list. My one granddaughter is now 16, I ask what kind of gift cards she likes and choose out of that list what to give. I always told my 16 year old granddaughter, when she was younger, if you don’t like something I give you, please tell me and I will return it because things cost too much. I won’t be insulted. She only ever told me once and I exchanged the item. All the others times she said she likes what I get her and wears it. Gramma’s put a lot of time and love into getting the kid’s special gifts, I know I do. I would rather the Mom tells me about the improper fit and then returns it, instead of wondering why the kid has never worn it. A waste of money otherwise.
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She sounds very controlling. Did she never have a little girl of her own to dress in fancy dresses? My Dad had good taste and always picked out the perfect dresses for my daughter. I was always thankful and appreciative. Took pictures of her in those dresses. Kept the tiny ones from when she was a baby. Still have them and she’s 43. My Dad worked away from home and sometimes would surprise my sisters and I when he came home with beautiful dresses. I cherish those memories. Mostly my Mom made our dresses. Maybe you and the Mother In Law need to both need to talk. Make peace. And maybe she’ll buy PJs next time.
I gave up buying clothes for my grandchildren and great grandsons long ago.My tastes altogether different than theirs.I give them gift certificates so they can choose their oen.
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My children were made some very interesting knit and crocheted items by my mother in law. They were made with love and my children knew that and would put those items on when my mother in law would come to visit. Those items would often be borrowed by friends who never got those kind of items from their grandmas.
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I am just happy when I send things. I don’t need to see her in them. Hope you don’t feel that way about me. It wasn’t intentional.
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There should be no expectations.
I buy cute things for my granddaughter and I don’t care when she wears them and I never buy anything super fancy, they just grow too fast for too many fancy dresses. I keep panties, socks and bathing suits at my house. I buy clothes and pj’s just because no strings attached. Sorry your mother in law is being difficult and how does she know what your mom buys?
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I too bought my granddaughter many clothes ,I guess I was lucky because my daughter in law liked what I bought . My thought was maybe selfish but I thought it would help them financially and make me feel a greater part of my granddaughters life. She is 17 now and I only buy what she chooses . But I still feel good being part of the circumstances.
She needs to back off. My granddaughter never wore what I bought so I quit buying clothing. Buy gift card. Let mom pick the clothing or even the child can choose. It’s not supposed to turn into a power struggle. Grandma is out of bounds.
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As an aunt, I ask my sister, SIL or the child in question’s Mom what that child needs. As the gift giver, its really not that hard to find out what is needed.
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You are not obligated but it would save you from all this drama if you did. If the clothes don’t fit yet call and thank her and tell her they’re a little big but as soon as she fits them she Ca wear them. If they are Easter or Christmas style then dress her in them then and take lots of pictures and send to grandma. It’s not that she has an expectation it’s that she’s spending money and wants to be a part of her life in this way. She may think she’s buying her something y’all may not be able to afford. I think you would save yourself stress if you dressed her up for her grandma and not resent it when you do it.
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This is silly. Grandma needs to relax. Maybe you could have put the dresses on her and taken a picture, framed it, and given to to her for Christmas. Birthday, whatever. I’m a grandma and I of course hope they like what I get them, but if they don’t I want them to return it and get what they want. My first priority is to make everyone happy. Then I’m happy! This grandma sounds a little rough. Good luck to you.
When our two granddaughters were around 8-10, grandpa and I started taking them out and let them pick out something they wanted, we went for lunch and had a wonderful afternoon.we brought the stuff home,wrapped it and they got it for birthdays and Christmas,problem solved…they got what they liked and we had a great afternoon…
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As a grandmother I would not expect to see my grandkids in all the things i give,just grateful for the grandchildren
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I buy clothing for my grandkids all the time. I usually shoot a picture of what I’m looking at. They let me know if it’s a style the kids wear or not and if there might be something they need like shoes of PJs. We have a very awesome relationship and I do not get my feelings hurt over clothing! I am here to help when I can because I want to.
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oftentimes kids pick what clothes they want to wear too.
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You’re not wrong… When I buy my grandkids clothing I always give the moms the receipt. If they choose to return that’s up to them. Maybe with the dresses you could have had some nice photos taken of your daughter in them for your M.I.L.
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My oldest grand is now 35 and my youngest is under 2. I have always bought clothing over the years especially on sale. Always left tags on so they could be exchanged for any reason. One aunt send highly expensive dresses for my youngest daughter. After she wore them and grew out of them, once every year or two I would sell them at my garage sale for $5 each and they would be gone in a heartbeat. Used the money to buy winter coat and boots
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As a grandma I always ask what the kids would like and buy what they like. Everyone is happy, my oldest grandchild is now 12 so I ask her what she likes, she likes gift cards so she can get her own things now. Grandparents love giving gifts to their grand babies, try not to make a big deal out of it, it’s only clothing. Try not create nastyness between families, it’s never good. I would dress baby in the dresses and take photos of her just like a dress up day. Have fun with it and make grandma happy. Please keep in mind grandparents are not here forever and it’s the gesture you make, the kindness you show that they appreciate.
I’m sorry this is happening. I am a grandma and I never buy my grandchildren clothes without asking their parents what that child actually needs. It sounds to me like this grandma is trying to out do the other one. Maybe have a quiet word and explain what clothes your daughter needs and how very grateful you would be if she could see her way clear to getting her granddaughters new coat for school etc. You are not wrong in your thinking that a gift shouldn’t have strings but unfortunately that isn’t always the case. Maybe your husband should have a word with his mother about how much this is causing friction. I wish you the best of luck in this tricky situation.
Dress your daughter in the dresses do your own photo shoot then send grandma the pictures. My dil n son send pictures every time he is wearing an outfit I buy my grandson just to show appreciation. It’s not hard
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I never saw my grandkids in what I bought and to be truthful it hurts
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Grandma is being an A-S-S! Don’t give this issue another thought. Continue doing as you have been. At least now you know what to expect from that witch of a grandmother which is nothing for your daughter with her only thoughts of her own satisfaction. I’m glad I’m not that kind of grandma!
It’s nice to see kids wearing something you bought for them but not a big deal at all if you don’t. Just silly that this is a problem with Grandma and your husband should be telling Mom to stop
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I wouldn’t of returned them, instead you should have told her my daughter really needs Pajamas.
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I buy things for my granddaughter to wear without any expectations of seeing her wear them! And now that she is 11 I let her know if it’s not her style we can return things for something she likes…. Most of the things she loves…Grandma is being petty and should enjoy her family while she can…,
Of course when I give my Grandchildren clothes for gifts, I hope I will see them on them, but if not, I don’t have the control over that. But I do ask their sizes and my daughter and daughter-in-law tells me what type of clothing they like. And sometimes my older Grands send me orders from
Amazon in which I order for them.
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My mother in law always buys my kids clothes and not matter what I am grateful, some stuff might not get worn or only once for her to see it but I am forever grateful…my mom usually asks what the kids need more of or she will let me know that she saw something for them that she just had to get them but I love everything they get my kids…maybe just let her know she desperately needed PJs at the time instead of having to wait to wear them and let her know that your appreciative
I would be more upset with my husband than the MIL. But think about it, she probably has been like that his whole life. So she is normal to him. I would just keep doing what you feel is best for your daughter. The MIL needs ti grow up! I honestly woukd not let my daughter around her. She doesnt need that kind of negative talk about her mom.
Grandma needs to grow up. If a child needs something other than then she should understand. My mom was like that. It does not matter if they do t wear one or two things. She should just be glad you still take the child to see her
Grandma buying clothing out of the need to help or just because she wants to is fine. But I think this is something else. Grandma has turned this into a control issue. And the fact that she has a fit if the little one wears something the other Grandma bought just proves it to me. And the fact that hubs always sides with her over this says volumes! I think Grandma is trying to start trouble…and personally, I’d stay away from her and keep my kiddo at home. And when she starts complaining about that, I’d tell her exactly why! Who knows what kind of nonsense she is telling her son and ultimately her Grandchild.
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As a grandmother (Nanny) of 6, your MIL is being a bit unreasonable, IMO. Sure, it’s nice to see the littles in the things we buy, but its really not practical to buy children fancy clothes and expect them to wear it all the time. You want to buy clothes, great, call the parents and find out what they need. We as grandparents help out with school and play clothes. If we are planning and occasion when something a little dressier is required we will purchase the out for that occasion knowing that it will likely never be worn again. This is certainly not a situation that school decides a family. I think your MIL issues go deeper than the clothes your child is or is not wearing
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My granddaughter wears her fancy dresses all the time even out to the barnyard. Let her wear them everywhere she wants and don’t treat them special. They are clothing. Where are them out and be done with them and grandma come buy some more. I personally quit buying clothes for my grand kids because I don’t have the same taste of them