I would buy my grandchildren clothes the ones they needed. I did not expect to see them in them. Some people are so vain about what they give.
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I was one of those kids my grandmother alwas bought me fancy dresses at Christmas and Birthdays and wore them only when went to see her. They couldn’t be worn to school. The clothes I had for school was what my mother could make me from printed flour sack. I would get made fun of school and I hated school, please tell your Mother in law fancy clothes are very nice but you need more everyday clothes for your daughter. I would of loved to have had dresses I could wear to school instead of fancy dresses to wear only on Sunday where none of the kids saw me.
as a grandmother/aunt/friend…I always ask the parent what the munchkin would like or need, and I try my best to go in that direction. Don’t need to see them in the clothes. They were given as a gift
This Meema asks her children what the grandkids need. And as they get older I ask the grandkids what they want. Occasionally I would get them something that I saw that I thought was cute, but my kids know they are free to exchange anything.
The only time I ever have gotten upset with a person for not putting clothes on a child was my sister, I made several dress for my niece, and I put a lot of extra work into them to make them frilly as she regularly attends church. She only put one of the dresses on her (We went to the same church,) and she gave the dresses away. She also never put another dress that I had made on her, I knew it fit because I babysat my niece. When I asked her about the dress, she didn’t remember it, (I had sent my niece home in it.) After that any dress I made for my niece (she liked “princess” dresses) stayed at my house. I made Daisy Kingdom dresses, so they were not something that should have been “forgotten.”
I think if grandma bought the dresses it was so she will remember her grandmother later in life. The memories are “ I remember my grandmother always bought me fancy dresses it was her thing”. Memories
It’s your child do what you want. When I was a first time mom my now exhusbands family tried to boss me I yo doing things their way. Don’t feel guilty or let anyone try to make you feel guilty for doing what you feel is best for your child.
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I would buy my grand kids clothes twice a year, Spring & Fall, I would have them and their mother (my daughter) with me for them to pick out and I buy. This is why I know they wore the clothes I bought! Simple solution!
I buy clothes for my grandbabies all the time… So much so that sometimes when I see them, I say… “Oh that’s a cute outfit … where’d you get that?”… To which they say, “You bought it for me, grandma!!” … I just laugh, because I don’t remember that… So, Yeah… that grandma has some issues…
First I believe your mother-in-law is wrong to be acting like a spoiled child. As a grandmother myself, I buy stuff for my grandkids all the time. Yes it hurts not seeing it on them but, I should not except things to go my way all the time. My kids have talked to me and let me know when they needed to return something. I try to be understanding and think of the grandkids needs first and foremost.
I raised 2 daughters and I son I now have a daughter in law and 7 grandkids. I was told when my kids were teenagers mom we don’t have the same style. Don’t buy us clothes. I understand that , it doesn’t hurt my feelings. I have bought them clothes for presents and they didn’t wear it or I could tell they didn’t like it and it hurt my feelings. So I decided I wouldn’t do that. I was told nicely we don’t have same taste in fashion so now I give them money to buy what they want or ask them to pick something out. We are all happy and no feelings get hurt. I think if family can’t understand or respect each other it’s more of a control issue. Especially with daughter in laws and mother in laws!
Speaking as a grandma, the grandma needs to get over herself. The child doesn’t need to be dressed in something she bought every single time.
My daughter likes to pick her son’s clothes herself i no problem with that i give her money for them wen birthday xmas and so on i no problem with my daughter doing that
If gifts have ties not sure it is truly a gift. Yes I like to see my grandkids in outfits I buy (cause I think they are cute). I do understand not everything fits and sometimes they need other things more. I always ask what they need so I usually know and can get something cute along those lines.
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I have bought clothing for grandkids numerous times. I DO NOT EXPECT TO SEE MY GRANDKIDS IN THEM!!! They were bought out of the kindness of my heart. I don’t care if they are returned or exchanged. Having said that. I always ask what is needed and what would be liked prior to purchase. People waste to much time on petty things now days and shame on your husband for taking his mothers side. He’s not married to his mama. The two of you should come to an agreement about the situation and your husband should clear the air with his mom.
Does your husband have a sister? She may have some misplaced odea that in some way it also her child. I’m not a grandmother, just had to deal with one alike like yours. Mine had 2 boys and never got a girl to “play” dress up with. She did the same exact things. I refused the clothing, and told her if she wanted to buy stuff for my daughter, I’ll go to the store with her and she can pay for what she needs. 1 store trip later, it never happened again.
As a grandma of 8, ages 4-17…3 of which are girls ( ages 17, 14, & 7 )…I can tell you, they know what they like . Even at 5 yrs old. And, at that age, they love to play dress up. My 7 yr old still does. She has a special section in her closet , just for dress up clothes. Sorry, but I side w/ grandma. If child needed PJS, the parents should be keeping up with those, as it’s an every day need., & their responsibility. Many grandparents, are NOT well off financially. And, they take great joy, in being able to buy/ pick out , something special, for their grandkids. Why take that away from her ??? And, I can’t help but wonder , if this mother , would return/ exchange clothes , given/ bought by her OWN mom. I’m guessing NO. Lastly, fact is… How would mom feel , if grandma didn’t ever , or rarely ever, do anything for the grandkid… because grandma , just didn’t like mom !!! Yeah, it happens. And , for no reason , too. IMO, its MOM that is being petty, spiteful, immature, & vindictive.
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Ummm, what she wants is a doll to dress up, not a grand baby. Get her a doll for Christmas and let her have at it. 
My daughter is 6. We divorced right after she was born. All of his and my family ask what she needs. Sometimes my sister will find an outfit she thinks my daughter would like and she asks me if she would wear it before she buys it.
I would ask my daughter what she was in need of for my grandchild but we usually have the same taste anyway and even at 5 years old l could ask him what he would like. Maybe your daughter may like to make some suggestions herself in a chat to Grandma.
I have seen my grand babies i. What I have bought and it can be times we aren’t planning to visit. My kids can return them if they would like. I honestly buy stuff that I think is cute. My daughter in law has always made me feel like it was helpful and she thought they were cute. If she doesn’t like something she knows she can tell me. And I will take them shopping. Fighting over clothes waste so much time that cannot be replaced
I’m a grandma and I have no problem with a gift being exchanged for something the child needs
I returned a Christmas doll once that didn’t really work as well as on commercial. I had a great mother in law and she probably overspent to get my daughter that doll. I returned it and when she wanted see it walk , that’s what the doll did I told her I returned it. It really hurt her feelings and she didn’t say much but she never bought my daughter another doll. We still had a great relationship but I shouldn’t have done that. I was young and didn’t think it through.
Mil is being ridiculous and husband needs to grow a pair, its clothes… Tell mil to get over herself and remind her that you’re the mother now, not her, she can enjoy her grandchild without being over dramatic about clothes, remind her also shes not the only grandmother and she needs to respect your choices regarding your daughter, simple
I send my mom pics of what I want. So I Kno I’m not getting something stupid. But once it’s in your hands it’s your to do with what you want. You wanna return cuz it’s a waste and you something more practical then go for it. I’d bring it up with grandma that her gifts are kinda useless and she should buy gifts you may actually use
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When I gift my grands is for their benefit not mine . Just as I wouldn’t buy someone a gift card and tell them to buy me something too. 2nd your husband either needs to step up or he can be the one to dress the grandchild and take her to see MIL
As a grandma, I have learned that my taste of clothes is different than the 3 & 7 yr olds so I don’t buy clothes anymore; but, I will buy a toy that I know they will like to play with. Hopefully your husband will stand up to his mother. Any chance you could ask her to buy a toy instead? Sorry for the sticky situation you’re in.
If the cloths are to big put them on her anyway and take a picture and send it on to grandma I don’t care how big they are take that picture and send it on… LOL or if you go visit her put the big baggy cloths on her Hopefully it will be a time Grandma has plans to take her out to the zoo or out to eat!!!
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Grandmas love to spoil their grandchildren, but it’s toxic as all hell the way your mother in law has expectations attached and has a fit when they aren’t met. Both of my son’s Grandmas love to buy him things all year long (he’s the first grandbaby in my husband’s family, and 6th in mine with a 6 year age difference with my youngest nephew), and they respect when I say keep the toys to a minimum or only for their house, and tell them what kind of clothing he NEEDS and what size for whenever they are thinking of buying him something. This grandma sounds like she wants control instead of just to show her love for your littles, that’s a HUGE red flag!
I am a grandma and a great grandma and I quickly learned that all children are different. They do not have my taste and if I want to buy them clothes go with them to pick them out or make it clear if it doesn’t fit or you don’t like it, the receipt is in the bag and it won’t offend me if you exchange it. Never expect a child to have the same taste as you do. Lessons learned after 5 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren (7 of them girls)
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Being a Grandma doesn’t ever give her the right to demand anything period. You are awesome for trying so hard.
I love to shop for my grandchildren! It is fun for me to shop. I love to see them wearing the clothes I gift. I hope they like what I choose. That does not mean that they are required to wear only what I gift to them. It would be narcissistic of me to think that I am the only person who could pick out clothes for my grandchildren. My daughters-in-law do not need me to shop for them. I do it for enjoyment.
Put the child in the clothes when you receive them, hide the tags. Take a photo then return the clothes for what you need, unless your daughter really loves the outfit. If she does, let her wear it whenever she likes whether it seems appropriate of not. Take photos and send to your MIL.
My brother bought his kids what they wanted, sil bought what they needed. Me and my folks gave them gift cards or money so they can pick their own things. BTW, granny is a petty person and I would limit visitation. Especially sleep overs. If hubby has issues, tell him to get over it. She is your child. You are the mother.
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Tell me how the grandma woman knows the clothes her grandaughter is wearing were bought by the other grandma. Did you tell her?
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I buy clothes for my granddaughter. But I tell her mom she can exchange if she doesn’t like them. She never has. Grandma should not attach strings to gifts.
Too much drama. Maybe grandma needs to ask what the child needs and not just buy whatever she likes. Winter pajamas are much more practical than a fancy dress. 
Yes it is nice for them to see …however my mum always buys clothes for my girls and if they don’t fit and I don’t like them I say I am going to swap them for something else or a different size is that ok?
I always try the clothes on with tags and send pictures…that’s the pictures done and you can do what you like with them.
It is easier it’s my mum not my MIL who did pass away when I was pregnant but my mum is happy and always says to her friends if she doesn’t like it she tells me and it goes back or is swapped for something else. Honesty is best and if she doesn’t like honesty she needs to get over it.
When baby 2 came along I told mum I do not want any dresses until she is 1. They are fiddly and a pain and I would much prefer pretty baby gro’s as that is what she will be in most!!
Maybe try saying suggesting things she needs such as a school coat and picking it out and letting her give you the money? X
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I buy my grandchildren clothes and no I do not Expect to see them in them I buy it because I want to give them something
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When I get my grandkids and g. Grands clothes, yes I would like to see them on the child at least once. It makes me happy to see them wear them. But I don’t get upset if they don’t. Your mother-in- law is being ridiculous.
My parents buy clothes as gifts and they either as what is needed/wanted and what size. Failing that they are given a gift card to a certain shop for us to get it ourselves. Also your husband needs to support you in this
Take pictures of your daughter dressed in the outfits given to her by grandma,
Make a photo book from these pictures. Give to her for a Christmas Gift.
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For me, if the receipt is attached, meaning it can be exchanged if size is wrong or if it is a duplicate. Gifts from anyone should have a no string attached understanding.
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Oh sweetie. I’m a nana of two beautiful girls. I’m always buying them clothes. I always tell their mama that if she feels they do not like or will not wear please exchange the clothes. It’s not about me, it’s about them. I must say that I did a good job on a few of the items, they exchanged the ones that were not a hit. It’s all good. I hope this nana gets over herself soon and allow them to exchange for items they love.
Soon your daughter well have her on opinion on what she wears lol it should be about love for the child not that she not dressed in the outfits she bought good luck
As a grandma, I do buy clothing for my 5 grandchildren. As they’ve gotten older, I just give the parents the money, or I take the kids to the store. No fuss needed. If the child was in need of PJs, then there’s nothing wrong with you getting them. Grandma needs to grow up.
I wouldn’t worry too much about your relationship with grandma. You need to worry about your relationship with your husband! He is being a Mama’s boy and an ass to side with her Everytime. You should remind him that he’s not partners with his mom!
I picked out dresses for my daughter & at age 3 I brought a dress with frills & lace & when I put it out for her to wear to church she looked at it & said Who is going to wear that? NOT Me!! Ask mother-in-law if she would like to take granddaughter shopping with her & see what daughter wants! My daughter never wanted lace!
Dump the Grandmother and her whoosh of a son if this is the big issue in your house I am sure there are others. Your kid your clothing rules. Put the kid in the outfit take the pic and send it to MIL done.
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I buy clothes for my grandchildren but if they prefer or need something else it is
fine with me if they return them. As they get older and their taste differs from mine, I give money or gift cards.
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When my children were younger my husband’s mom would buy silly gifts my girls would never use or play with. We had 3 cousins close in age. Then s big gap and 3 more cousins. She would always get the older ones the same thing as the younger ones. We would literally through it away. I finally sat my mother in law down and told her. Please just stop buying them thing’s and explained the stuff was to young. We were literally throwing it out. From then on the kids got cash. She would put it in Tupperware containers so they had something to open. It was a hard conversation. In the end it was a win win
Sounds like MIL is the petty one. I was under the impression that giving a gift was out of kindness, not having expectations of when or how it should be used. There are no rules that if Granny gives a child a gift SHE must see it used/worn by them. Yes, in a perfect world it would be nice, but we aren’t in a perfect world. How dare hubby not defend & stand up for you. YOU did not ruin the relationship, SHE did.
When I buy clothes for my grandchildren, I usually see them wearing them, but I would have no problem with the parents exchanging the clothes for something they need more. Same goes for toys…if they want to return them for something else, that’s fine eith me. If it happened all of the time, then I would question why and then give a gift card or cash instead. No matter what happens, I sure wouldnt let it destroy my relationship with my kids!
I’ve quit buying gifts and give a check or gift card. They are not needy or anything would do!!! ( I remember living on army pay ($100) a month when my daughter was born. Anything was ok!!! We were needy!
What if you took pictures of her in it? Then showed her. Day something like oh we went to church, or a fancy party or even if she just dressed up in the fancier things and say she wore this to a friend’s birthday party or.something?! I am having my first grandbaby and I fully expect that they at least put the baby in the clothes once! And a few pics here and there.
Hello
I am a proud mom mom age 49 of 3 grands (age 4,5 and 3 months )
I always ask what they need and options always to return ( why keep an item of any kind that aren’t going to be used )
Best of luck stop trying so hard you are going to drive yourself crazy 
My question is how old is grandmom (if you don’t mind me asking )
Nether the less I say do what YOU want
It’s sad your husband doesn’t cause with you speak to grandma tell her pjs were needed and how much you appreciate new clothes leave at that see what happens send pictures of her in pjs
Anyone buying clothes for someone likes to see them in it. Many times the piece of clothing made them think of that person. It isn’t always to be controlling. And it was not nice to return those dresses for pajamas. You buy the pajamas yourself. How would you have gotten it if the MIL never bought the dresses? It isn’t such a hard and difficult think to wear something someone bought you!!!
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A grandparent takes great pride in the purchases for the grandchildren. As a child I wish I had grandparents around to buy me frilly things as my parents certainly didn’t . I missed alot let your children enjoy there grandparents we are only around for a short window. As far as having to wear it to her house that’s over the top. Play dress up, do pics .
I do not agree to you taking the dresses back to the shop,posh ones,you must have got plenty of change after buying pyjamas !,you should not expect to control what grandma wants to buy for her granddaughter,why is it so much trouble to take your daughter to see her grandmas in the clothes they bought for her,be thankful that they are both loving grandparents,not everyone is that lucky,don’t play one off against the other either !
I’d be telling grandma to stop sweating the small things and enjoy them when they are little!!! They don’t stay little for long! I buy my grandsons clothes all the time and some don’t even make it on the one so the other one wears it… that’s immaterial things!!! I love just being with mine!!!
I have 2 granddaughters, 6&12, I buy lots of cloths for them, at their age if they don’t like them they won’t wear them, so why keep them, give them away to someone that needs or wants them, take back to exchange for something they want , cloths, toys, whatever
She is being silly I think, after all.its a piece of clothing for goodness sake
Whether it is the MIL/Mother is regardless. When someone gives a gift, they do it with love-because they care and it gives that person immense pleasure to give something to a loved one. I always dressed my children in clothes that they have received from both sets of grandparents (no preference to one side of the family) because I know that it will make someone happy. I also know that if I mention that my children need pajamas, either set of grandparents will make an effort to buy them some next time. One day you too will be a grandmother and you will crave that same feeling of joy when your grand babies wear something that you picked out for them. I’m not yet a grandmother nor a MIL- just a mom. But, family is everything and some things are just not worth arguing about- especially when there is good intention. It’s a small gesture of appreciation that really goes a long way 
I have always bought for my grandson, not because I need to but because I want to. My daughter and son-in-law is very appreciative. I mostly give him money know because he is at a size that is hard to fit. There is never any strings attached.
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This grandmother is wrong to make you feel guilty about that. Some people give gifts for their own gratification more than anything else. You were careful to appreciate the gifts of clothing she gave and make sure you worn them on her during visits. You have done your part. You have tried to discuss this with her as well. Again you have done your part. Don’t feel bad or guilty and try not to let her guilt tris and emotional manipulation to bother you. Live happy and free and don’t let punitive people pull you down.
A gift is a gift so do with it what you will. If you have an expectation to see that gift on the child and you don’t then stop buying clothes if it bothers you grandma. Daughter in law, since you know she’s miffed tell her your child needed pjs and didn’t have a place to wear a fancy dress. If she’s still miffed let her be. Life is short.
Just avoid the argument and stress make her happy and dress your child in the gift. Life is too short.
My mother-in-law occasionally bought my kids clothes, ugh. Put the item on the child take a pic for grandma and return them to the store for something she needs!
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It wasn’t a good idea to return the dresses and buy pajamas. If Grandma said to feel free to exchange them, that would have been different. Your husband needs to grow a backbone and take up for you.
Grandma is always going to be a wounded cub. Just be gracious, take lots of pictures in the clothes she sends and let it go.
You’re not obligated to dress her in anything. She’s your child! And grandparents need to learn that being a grandparent isn’t a competition between maternal/paternal grandparents. I’d tell her no more! No more clothing. If she wants to give your daughter a gift, then get her gift cards for whatever store she would have bought the clothing from so that you and your daughter can go pick out the clothes that she wants/needs at the time. Put your foot down. This is your daughter, not hers.
I am a grandmother that has bought more clothes for my granddaughters than I can count… since the day they were born. They do not have to wear them for me to see. If they need something else, I am more than happy for their parents to return them for something else. Sounds to me like those dresses were very important to the grandmother for some reason. Did she want a picture of them made in the dresses. If this happens again, take a few pictures of them in the special dresses before you return them. She probably imagined how cute they would look in them and was disappointed. My granddaughters are now 16 and 18 and I still have a few of the special dresses I bought them, when they were little, hanging in the upstairs closet. Maybe her disappointment turned into anger over time. Maybe there is more to this story. Odds are you were both wrong.
I have 3 grandchildren and buy clothes all the time. If I see them in the clothes, fine. If not, fine. As a grandmother we learn our kids march to a different tune. Just be happy you’re here to enjoy them.
Mother in law sounds like a controlling witch. Gifts should be given without strings attached, and received graciously with appreciation. If said items are wrong size, not quite your taste, duplicates, etc. that can easily be resolved with civil, honest discourse. 
Your bigger problem is that your husband “sides” with his mother!
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You ruined this relationship when you returned what you said were beautiful dresses for PJ’s. This isn’t a gift from just anyone so it’s no it’s not Appropriate for you to return it. His mother has feelings too, And they have to be respected. What was wrong with purchasing pjs and saving the clothing for that time. I have only ever returned clothes that didn’t fit or she got two of the same outfits.
Am not a grandma yet but i know little things about them, expecialy when you Mary their only son or your child is their first grandchild that caries their name they have strong Passion for them so since you don’t go there every day i don’t think you should have problem with that, secondly don’t you ever return whatever given to your child for anything it’s wrong it looks as if you don’t appreciate it that’s the meaning if she didn’t buy her dress didn’t you know your daughter need pyjamas , put on whatever dress you want for her but when going to grandma put what she buys for her and make your mother-in-law happy with you one day you will grow to be a grandma too.
Tell grandma to keep the clothes she buys for her house, so when you visit your daughter can wear them, or your husband can very well keep up with his mom gifts, but you as you do your best everyday will keep dressing your daughter as you and your kids see fit
It won’t be long until your daughter doesn’t want to wear clothes from grandma! What is she going to do then? Bully your daughter? If your hubby always sides with his mom, then you have a problem. You’re either going to have to learn to say nothing to keep the peace or you’re going to have to have a very serious conversation with your husband. No one should be allowed to call you names and he not be willing to stand up for you!! I hope you don’t call his mom names to him because it will make it more difficult to speak to him about that. Does she call your daughter names? Will she if she refuses to wear the clothes she buys her? Is he okay with that?! There’s something rooted deeper here and it’s going to take some work to figure it out. My daughter wouldn’t stay at her house because I wouldn’t trust her. *mom of 4, wife 25+ years.
As a grandparent I would buy clothes for our grandchildren. My dil told me one time that she honestly appreciated it but didn’t like the clothes from one children’s store so I bought from another store. You should be honest and tell her how you feel.
It wound smarter from grandma to ask you what you need for your child and buy it as a gift
I don’t know if you have a good relationship with your mother in law but maybe try talking to her and telling her that you need more practical things rather than the fancy dresses that she loves so much
I am a grandmother of 9. I ask my daughters what they want their daughters or sons to wear. They know the size and style. They send me a picture, and i order on amazon . I remember my mother in law getting these hideous dresses, that my daughters did not want to wear… I will never force my kids to wear something. Kids are just like us. If they feel it doesn’t look right, then I respect their feelings. Same goes for Halloween costumes, or whatever. I totally respect my daughters and what they want their children to wear. I sent many things to goodwill.
I think it’s kinda rude to exchange them for something else. I don’t think she has to wear them when visiting but when she does wear them toy could take a picture and send it to her
Daddy answer : your MIL has Alzheimer’s disease and doesn’t remember what she just said, so let it go.
I had a mil that was horrible. I sent my husband and kids to visit without me. Take some me time and let him deal with her.
She is using this to be controlling. You cant win accept her attitude, and dont expect her to change. Minimize your contact. Let your husband deal with his mother stay home, have a spa day!!
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I don’t know why anyone would make this an issue. There are soooo many bigger battles. Make it fun for your daughter and dress her in the cloths that grandma bought. This way she is also excited about wearing them, make it special. As you said it once in a while. If they don’t fit call grandma and tell her, say can you trade for right size or get something else as we are coming over and I know how important it is to you that she dresses in something you bought. Tell her that you appreciate how much she loves her granddaughter. Oh and if she needs pj’s maybe mention this to grandma she will probably be more than happy to get those. That all said it doesn’t excuse if grandma is rude at times, but if you take this issue off the table maybe things could be better all around. Seems pretty simple. Good luck
If grandma wants to see the child in the outfits and they are really frilly, silly dresses, then do a video call between grandma and child. We did that with her paternal grandparents. I can’t help it that my sweet child decided to paint while on video chat and got paint on the dress. So after that she never sent clothes thst were not on our online wish lists.
As a Nana who bought lots of clothes for our grandsons, I NEVER did so with any strings attached. I was only ever trying to help their folks. Now the kids are older, we just give them gift cards to their favourite stores. The grandma in this story is way out of line! Maybe she needs to be reminded she is the grandma, not the mom. And hubby needs to grow up too.
First of all your hubby needs to support you as the first now woman in his life … and he needs to be honest with him mom about the clothes … if she wants to buy something she needs to find out what size she is in and maybe what store she likes now… that will never hold up as your daughter grows and wants her own taste… when I buy anything for my niece/nephews I ask what sizes and what stores they are in to at that moment so I buy for them what they will like and I give them the gift receipt in case they don’t like it or it doesn’t fit … I don’t get my feelings hurt I would rather get them something they like …
your mother n laws behavior is showing she is insecure with her relationships with you… if your hubby won’t speak up for you maybe you need to
Fix it why, your Mother in law is closed minded and living in the 50’s. Limit your interactions and live your life. Wait until your daughter is 11 or 12 Grandma won’t be so infatuated the cuteness will have worn off
I am not a grandparent but I am a mother. Of course they want to see their clothes on the chil!d! What you want or think does not matter here. If you want peace with your Mother-in-law you must apologize and mean it. You must explain to her that you were wrong to return the dresses and buy her pj’s. Throw in a few I do so miss you and I love yous and she just may forgive you. Don’t give up. She is your husband’s mother, she will always be right. Accept that, make friends.
Let her buy your daughter whatever she likes. Eventually your daughter will be the one to put a stop to it.
My grandsons always wore clothes I bought. But I bought onesies, pjs, etc. I usually had their mom with me and now I have the grandsons so they pick out and I buy.
It sounds like she has some control issues and your husband should support you i l
The Grandma should ask you what your daughter needs or wants and comply with that. Or maybe she should just quit buying her anything. Personally she’s being rude and I am a grandma of 10 myself. There should not be strings attached to gifts period.
- If your husband has issue with what you dress her in then he should dress her. I assume he is an adult and knows how.
- When receive outfit as gift then dress her up and take a picture. Frame it. Give back as gift.
- Everyone likes to know a gift given is enjoyed. If the dress was too dressy for everyday occasions then perhaps you could have created better one. Could invite mother in law to brunch and all dress up. Make a memory for them both.
- Sounds like grandma is bit out of touch. But maybe she isn’t. She may realize there are other needs the child has, which you are tending to, and her buying dressy clothes takes that burden from you. There was a time when that dressy clothes mattered.
I have always gotten my grand kids clothes! if they wore them okay,and if not okay! , but I tried to get stuff they and their mother would like to see them in! They wore them a lot, but them I didn’t see them everyday! They would out grow them ! I gave with the understanding that if the clothes were not suitable they could swap them! Never any problem!
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There are 2 sides to this. Grandma’s side: a gift is a gift. You had no right to return HER gift. You don’t know the effort she put into getting it. As a grandma, I, too, would take offense you thought so little of my gift. However, AS a grandma: it’s not about me, it’s about my granddaughter. You, as her mother, should have suggested to grandma she take her on a shopping trip, letting your daughter pick her ‘gift’. And thank her for creating this as something special between them. Any decent grandma should respect her boundaries and jump on being able to bond this way. Just let her know you appreciate this gesture and make peace.
When my dd was born, we received tons of dresses in different size from different people. I had made note who gave what and whenever my dd wore those clothes, I clicked pic and send to the person who had gifted and thanked once again. Your thoughts are valid but someone gifts with love and would love the gift being used and would love to see it. Always remove pics of every new dresses she wears. My inlaws bought one suitcase full of clothes for dd. They didn’t expect anything. But I would send pictures. So what I want to say your thought is valid about gift should be given with no strings attached but you shouldn’t have exchanged fancy dresses for pajamas. Also she is wrong In throwing a fit about wearing clothes gifted by other grandmother. You dress up your daughter the way you and your dd is comfortable.
As a grandma ! I bought clothes for my grandkids , it’s never an issue as my daughter and I doesn’t pay attention about how the children are dressed up. It’s up to me to care for them the way I choose to ! Never been an issue. 
I’m with you. Grandma should call and ask what is needed. Rule is…something to wear, something to read, and something to play with. That meets most children’s basic needs. Alternate these gifts. If Grandma doesn’t call, have her son call her with info.