My children always appreciated everything their granma bought, I did too
My aunt buys my children clothing for their birthdays. This year she is going to take my daughter shopping so she can choose her clothes. My daughter is 10 this year.
As a grandma of 9 I have bought many gifts over the years. I have never expected the children to wear the gift for me!! It’s they for them to do as they wish. Sounds more like she buys the gifts for her self. Anyway, I stopped buying presents a few years ago. I now put money away in an account for each grandchild. They can have it when turn 21. Much more useful than clothing I think.
Im a great grandma and grandma. I usually leave tags on so if they dont like or fit they can get something they like or need. Would not let it ruin my relationship. Thats just being childish. Respect your elders is what i was always taught.
I purchased themed hand towels as well as everyday hand towels for my grandchildren along with 3 pump bottles of soap. there were 6 children at home times 7 towels each and 18 total bottles of hand soap. I purchased these because there were never hand towels or soap in the bathrooms. Never saw any of them used. One grandchild said I should not have bought them as a gift to them but as a gift for their Mother. This gift was one out of seven gifts each child was give. Just saying Grandmothers do not know what to do.
I think the word “obligated” speaks volumes here. It’s not whether you are obligated to put the clothing on your child, but whether you are appreciative. It sounds to me like if you had had a conversation with her prior to returning the dresses to buy pajamas she would have just bought pajamas for her too. Clearly you hurt her greatly by doing so. Maybe starting with an apology would help?
I don’t think I would have returned them,that would make me not want to buy her clothes again.Its different if she doesn’t wear them but to return them.
Seems like there’s no right or wrong answer here depending on who’s perspective you’re looking at. Someone needs to be the better person here and just give in. Pick your battles carefully. Someday that grandmother won’t be around for her grandkids.
Sounds to me like the daughter has some hidden animosity she’s trying to disguise regarding the grandma. Who gives a crap what the dress occasion is. Put it on the daughter. If it gets ruined at grandma then guess what. She doesn’t have to wear it anymore. If their that fancy the child will outgrow it before she finds an occasion to wear it. Put it on her feed her spaghetti and get over yourself. Is petty stuff worth it to now your not liked. Can’t wait to see what your Christmas gifts look like. Another thing… out of all the child clothes to put in her you had to go so far as put her on something your mom bought. Sounds to me like spite on your part.
It is sad your husband does not help you w this. If grandmother makes you un comfortable call her on it. Talk about respect how she is not setting a good example for your daughter. Let your husband know you expect his support. He needs to be there for you and your daughter. Grandmother is important but you should come first
Well I’m a grandma usually wearing it means you like it but anyways my thoughts would be dress the child in it then take a picture and send shouldn’t be a problem
Every thing I’m hearing sound so childish. I say if grandma wants to get mad,let her. She’ll get mad no matter what you do. You didn’t do anything wrong.
My mil always gave the receipt with the gift incase it didn’t fit. Ask your mil if she could ask you or her son to ask what she needs before buying a gift. Or just put your daughter in the gift to make her happy for a short visit.
Grandma’s brain may be going as well which can make it more difficult to deal with her. I have moved into an independent living facility and am amazed to see how much dementia there is even in residents who I have first taken to be normal. In some it can progress quickly.
As a grandma of 12-ages 2-22 I usually ask what they need/would like. I care more about being able to spend with them than about what they’re wearing. Don’t sweat the small stuff grandma!!
I would keep the clothes grandma buys out of courtesy to grandma. She gave them out of love. She didn’t have to give anything. I myself give money because I don’t know what to buy, but if someone gives me something I just keep it no matter what.
Sounds like you tried to please Grandma so don’t worry about it. Some people are never happy. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff and this is small stuff. Dress your child as you see fit.
Tell her you’re sorry you never meant to hurt her feelings and that you love her and want to be close again. If that doesn’t work then leave it alone she’s too bitter to forgive
Red flag. My grandparents have always included a receipt, just in case.
1 Like
I do believe to return the clothes was the wrong way to do things, especially after you knew how your MIL felt about the stuff she bought your daughter… other than that hiccup nothing you are doing is wrong. Kids are destructive and messy so why ruin beautiful clothing, but have you explained your side to your MIL? Also, the ugliest thing is for husband not to protect their wife, especially to their own mother. You need to also have a conversation with him!!!
I used to buy clothes that I thought were cute for my granddaughter. They lived in another state and we only saw them 3-4 times a year. I often wondered why I never got pics of her or why she didn’t wear something I gave when we were there. Finally, my son told me privately, to stop buying clothes for his daughter. He admitted the child was never dressed in anything I sent. Other grandma sent clothes with a name brand on them and apparently that was preferred. That hurt my feelings some but certainly saved me some money as I quit buying clothes for my granddaughter.
I definitely think your mother in law is overreacting. I get that some people want to see their money well spent, but perhaps ask what the child needs and wants first?? I also think experiences are so much more valuable when it comes to the memories. Your daughter isn’t going to remember the fancy dress that was too big and didn’t need. She will remember something she got to do with grandma.
I’d suggest either you or your husband discussing with grandma that she could be taking your daughter shopping for clothes that your daughter likes/needs or perhaps choosing activities to do together instead for gifts, whether that tickets to the aquarium, a community theatre show, a theme park, etc.
Why we gotta read all that mess? Do everyone a favor and have plenty of dress up days. Take multiple pictures and send them to grandma. All that extra stress is completely unnecessary.
i always buy clothes for my grandson i might not be there when he wears it so i get a pic sent to my phone but i do not ask heer to do this she just does a gift is a goft dont expect anything back in return
Don’t be a trouble maker. Have your daughter visit with the dresses on. Add a sweater. send pictures of your daughter in the dresses grandma bought for and thank her.
I do think if someone gifts you with clothing, jewelry or something else to wear, that you should at least let them see you or your child wear once! And I think your husband should side with you plus being the one who handles his mother!
Did it ever occur to any of you that Grandmas do things out of love … Without an agenda? I buy clothes for my grandchildren, but then, they have appreciative parents neither side makes an issue out of it! It’s called love and respect!
As a grandmother who has bought cute little things for the grandchildren and also things that you could use if I buy the child a gift that they cannot use or they need something else please take it back and get that baby what they need I would never be insulted and I have never been I have told daughter-in-law’s to take it back get what they need the point is it’s a gift and it supposed to come from the heart
I think it would be good to at least get a picture of her in the dresses before returning them. Then you’ll have something to show her should the season not be appropriate for that type of dress.
I know it has happened to me and I would have been satisfied with a picture.
If your mother in law had any though about the way to handle this call the daughter in law and ask what she need work for me and we get along fine
If grandma, buys your daughter wears. It wont last f forever.
1 Like
Let her know that although you appreciate what she has bought they just don’t wear them. Either outgrown by the time there’s a place to wear them or just don’t need for now. You don’t want her wasting her money for that reason and you feel bad when it happens. Tell her you’d rather have her buy them something special to wear when an event is happening and when a holiday or birthday happens ask what they need or would like. This way no one feels hurt
It would be nice if Grandma saw her in the dress at least once . She will get the hint soon enough!
First problem is husband. He should be siding with you. Once you and hubby are on same page, then confront mil. As children age this is going to blow up anyway because children will want to purchase own clothes.
1 Like
I don’t buy clothes for my grandkids. I never have and I probably wouldn’t. I give them other things and now that they’re teenagers I give them gift cards so they can get whatever they’d like. I agree that the mil seems to be very controlling. Put the clothes on, take a photo for her, take the clothes off and return them if you or the kids don’t like them.
Grandma needs to grow up! Take daughter over In pjs you got on the return 
Oh my gosh I read your whole story. I really feel for you I have never had that problem. Your husband needs to stand by you. As far as I’m concerned he’s a mama’s boy. I am sorry for being so harsh. But when we get married you are supposed to be a family unit. Your mother-in-law sounds like a real piece of work. If I were you I would quit trying to repair it and do as you want and tell your husband that she needs to support you. But that is just me. Thank you for sharing your story.
1 Like
Easy answer, I always tried to dress my kids in the grandma clothes, and at le as st get a couple pics. Now being a grandparent. It really is hurtful not to see the kids in the clothes. A couple pics, sent to grands, no hurt feelings and a pic for the memoury
Sounds to me like everyone just needs to grow the hell up… I mean why fight or get upset about clothing. Of course grandma wants to see the kids wearing the clothes they bought the child. It isn’t gonna hurt anyone to bring joy to the other. So many more things in life together upset about.
A gift is a gift, to be used by the person receiving it chooses. If you have to dictate how it is used, it is no longer a gift
1 Like
I have 7 grandkids so I always try to find out what the kids need and their current sizes when it’s time to buy gifts. There have been a few times when things have been exchanged. I wouldn’t want my kiddos to have to keep something that didn’t fit or couldn’t use. I’m sorry your MIL is so difficult. From now on I would make your husband make all decisions on any gifts from his mom.
I can see both sides of this…being a grandmother for 30 years. I bought a dress for my granddaughter then 18 mo. old with the promise they would be at church Easter Sunday with her in the dress. She wore the dress but I did not get to see it. I realized the pressure placed on my daughter to attend church with the other grandparents and decided it was not worth getting ugly and causing a permanent rift with my daughter. This grandmother has acted foolishly and missed out on what could be a happy relationship. Basically she needs to grow up and be the better mother. It does not excuse the daughter in law but it is her first child…she is young…thinking that everyone would realize a child has many needs. I feel sorry for this family because it looks like this unforgiving attitude has been passed to her son… Grow up granny…forgive and try to rebuild a relationship with this girl. Be a good example for your son.
I have not a grandmother. I am writing as a woman married for 40 plus years to a man whose mother was horrible to me. When I read that your husband sided with your mother in law, I was mortified for you! First of all, he should have expressed his feelings of disagreement with you and you alone . Then, he should have gone over to your mother in law and explained your very true reason for taking the dresses in for exchange. He should refrain from saying he agrees with you. He could have also pointed out to her that you have dressed her in every other dress she has given. He can mention that he loves you both and that it would be his heart’s desire that you both get along.
PS My mother did this once with a dress given to me when I was about five years old. It was covered in ruffles and I thought it was the most beautiful dress that I ever laid my eyes on. I was so sad when my mom returned it! To this day, I can recall that dress from top to bottom. I wish my mom had let a gift be just what it was, a gift from Grandma who was thinking of me when she bought it! 
1 Like
Me being gma was told by my DIL that i had to have permission to buy anything for my gbabies. So it hurt my feeling so now I don’t buy them anything except books and games. When my gbabies get older (teens) I will take them shopping and let them pick.
Everyone knew not to but my kids clothes . My now 30 year old cringes at certain things she fought me to wear that I hadn’t bought her when she was younger …told ya so 
One cannot easily advise on such a situation. No idea what the relationship was to start with. My in-laws always thought I was odd because I was not “traditional”. Always had my own ideas about things and they either liked it or worked around it. I was not prepared to change who I was in order to please them. In my way, I loved them. And I’m sure in their way they loved me. They just didn’t understand me and it was okay. My mother in law liked to tell me how to do things, like raising my children. My own mother only told me to love them. We are all different. All families have different dynamics.
As a grandmother, when you buy clothes for your grandchildren we do it because we want too. If the child needed pj’s you should have bought them yourself. Our feelings can get hurt.
Tell both Grandma’s to STOP buying the clothes. And if they have a problem with that, Granddaughter’s visits would be fewer and farther between. And if your husband wants her to wear the clothes, let him dress her … AND while they’re visiting grandma, Take the few hours
They’re gone to do something YOU enjoy!
I always talk to my daughter inlaw whenever I buy clothes or I give gift cards so they can choose what they want
As a now Great grandma… I got a few baby outfits & after that just either sent a gift card or a check… can’t keep up with " what they need…vs… sizes…" their mom know better.
I dont believe thats entirely true thats its the reason. Sometimes grandmoms may buy sone things because trying to help with the cist of clothing needed to raise children and because they really like the outfits. So please know that all grandmoms have sincere reasons for buying them.
Im a nana and yes I would love to see my grandsons in the things bought for them but if the clothes are not an everyday kinda item then yeah if my daughter needed to return it to get my grandson something that he could wear more often then that’s the decision his mother needs to make… not my child… may be my grandson but I have no rights to MAKE my daughter put him in something that isn’t practical… why buy a baby something fancy to wear to play in or just to go visit nana… now if I buy him a toy and they don’t like my decision on that then that’s on the parent to grow up and let the grandparents spoil… you dress ur child how you want to… in the end she is your baby girl not the grandparents… I think you did the right thing… you got what she NEEDED and that’s what matters soooo don’t let ur mil get to you
When I buy gifts for my grandkids there are no strings, and I try to find out what they want, as for clothes they never have to wear them for me, but wear them when they want. . this grandma sounds very selfish .
1 Like
I would ask first if she minded me returning it for something she needed just to be polite other than that grandma is being silly!
Whatever happened to asking the parents what the child’s needs are? I am the grandma of 2 girls and 2 boys. Not only do I ask about clothes I also ask about toys. I rarely buy fillies because they need so much more like a college fund. Every now and again buy a frillie but always ask what the need is.
My take, why would you return the dresses. If your daughter needed PJ’S buy them, and she still (even if over dressed) could have worn the dresses to her grandma house? Why make a problem. A lot if times people will pay attention to see if "their gift " is used. It’s a moment in time that she would have had the dress on, but a long memory for the grandmother. And PJ’S are not a great deal. I think it was given with love, but we don’t have the Grandma’s side…
You need to talk to your husband and yes grandmas do want to see there grandkids in what they buy them what’s the big deal about letting her wear them when ever how does she feel I hope you’re not putting her in the middle of this one day you will be a grandma you’ll see
Grandma has had her own children to dress appropriately and as she wanted. Now it’s your turn. Tell her that. Then let everyone there, your husband included, know that there will be no more Mom shaming about the “fancy dress” issue. If they want to continue to bully someone, take your children and leave. They sound like a bunch of losers to me. Best be ready with a spare set of car keys and house key.
NO way. Narcissistic grandma can go blow. Dad is wrong too, backing his mom over you. He can supply new jammie money next time to be able to save grandmas precious threads.
I have a granddaughter who lives in Maine, and she has a grandmother that lives in Maine! When my granddaughter says to her oh I talked to Mémére, she says her name is Sue! Because you see when she was born her parents asked me to be her grandmother even though I am not the biological! I am the biological of my grandson, which is my son’s son. She can’t call me when she spends time with grandmother she can’t mention my name, and like you if I bought her anything she does not want to see it! How childish is that? I hope you two can come to some terms. Jealousy is a bad thing 
Should be grateful. She to some of the time. Its disrespectful not to. Gees not that hard to be kind.
I hated being told to wear something as a kid that was to please the person who bought it. I understand you trying and good for you, but I also think your husband and mil need to realize that gifts should not have string’s. Eventually your daughter will have an opinion and she may not like what grandma does…and everyone needs to be ok with that. I should say I’m impressed you remember who gifted you items. Sometimes I’m clueless.
Other options…when you get a outfit…put it on kid…send picture as thanks…and return, exchange or keep.
How weird, and how very controlling. But I have seen it before unfortunately. UGH. How is she otherwise on visits besides the clothes thing, finds things to negatively impact your relationship anyway?
I never married so I don’t have grandchildren but I do have nieces and nephews. I have bought clothing for them that I know they would like but I never expected to see them wear the clothing. And I even made it known that if I didn’t like it or it didn’t fit if they should feel free to take it back and get something else. Now that my niece is 12 I don’t even try to pick out her clothing. I just give her the money and let her decide what she wants on her own. But like someone else said in the past I have given the money to her mother And she has picked out the clothing or the Christmas gift or whatever and giving it to me to give to the child for Christmas. Sometimes she just wraps it and brings along to her grandmas house and put it under the tree. Saves me time and the child gets what she wants. And what fits.
I expect to see my grands and great grands in the clothing I buy them.
As a Nana ,after I got over buying one of everything for the babies , I asked Mom what they needed instead of just piling more stuff on them , well maybe most of the time !
I learned when I had a young daughter living at home, that I couldn’t always be sure what she would like and then found a formula that worked: I went to where the “popular” clothing was in the store and bought the ugliest outfit I could fine and she always loved them. She knew what I was doing and finally, in her teens she opened a gift and said to me, “it’s not working anymore; this is really ugly.” With that said, I don’t think you did anything wrong. Not everyone is going to like a gift; that why stores have return desks. Your mother-in-law needs to respect how you choose to dress your child and your husband needs to present a unified front when it comes to your child. I say that from the standpoint of someone whose “mothers” would never have questioned the kinds of choices you made.
A husband should never side with his mother. He could try to stay neutral at least but that’s not good for your relationship. I don’t think it’s about the clothing, but more about control. Gifts should be given from the heart. No expectations just love.
Well I bought clothes for my granddaughter and saw them in a yard sale with the tags still on them . I didn’t have any relationship with my daughter in law… my granddaughter is 16… she wears the clothes I buy for her now… maybe if you apologize for trading the dresses for pj’s things might get better… maybe not. Don’t dwell on it… your husband is wrong to take her side… There aren’t any sides… Agree to disagree about anything… as long as it helps people get along.
I’m going to put my two cents in. Grandma paid good money for the clothes she bought. It doesn’t matter when the child wears them just so she see them being used and not giving to someone else. If they are not to your liking asking her if you could exchange it to something more practical. I’m sure she won’t mind, as long as she is aware of it. If don’t want to receive these gifts mention that you would prefer her not to buy them. And the matter will be settled. When my grandchildren were small, money was tight and sometimes it was it was a Joy to sometime spend it on the children. Give grandma a break and tell her how you feel, I’m sure talking it over will be better then complaining about it.
Grandma needs to ask the mother what the child needs. This isn’t about the child it’s about Grandma demanding people cater to her fancies…
1 Like
You can’t please everyone. I think uour daughter should wear whatever clothing her grandparents buy. Make it clear that child will wear the fancy clothes out to play or to McDonald’s to eat ice-cream.
Your child ,your rules, it’s nice to show them you appreciate the clothes, but it’s not a contract that you HAVE to dress them in them. It shouldnt be such a big deal.
1 Like
The husband is a twat and needs to have your back on this and grandma needs to grow the fkk up and if she wants to give the kids something ask the mom what they need !
I think your mother in law needs to stop with her crap. Ridiculous. And your husband to side with her! Your his wife for crying out loud! He should always have your back!!!
Stop beating yourself up over it. You are not in the wrong.
As a Grandma of 7. I have bought the baby clothes. But I personally DO NOT expect her to be dressed in them when I visit. That’s Petty ass shit!!! Tell your husband to Grow Up! In the nicest way possible. Good luck. Don’t feel bad. Especially about returning dresses for pajamas. Apparently she needed that worse. So you take care of yourself and your child’s needs. 
It is your mil with the problems (sorry your husband too). My mil would take a toy book & gave the kids circle their interests. As they got older she would take them shopping for a date day & tell them when they had spent enough. They kids always loved this as they got a special day & what they wanted.
Your mil seems unreasonable. Cut your loss & don’t go to her unless you have too - have your husband do all the transportation since he agrees with her. She is not good for your mental health so avoid her.
If strings were attached on the gift she should have informed you since she never has it is your right to do what you want. You did try but this ONE time you did what the child really needed. I would have had a had time not telling this Karen type person “so you would rather my daughter slept in your outfit as she did not have warm pj’s!?”
I didn’t like what my mother use to pick out for me when I was a kid and I totally get that younger people have different tastes in that clothes to buy. I do buy clothes for my grandkids but I also enclose the receipt so if they choose to, the can return them and get something they like better. I also keep a good stash of clothes at my house so that I don’t have to worry about if they get dirty or stained. First thing my grand daughter does when she comes over is to change clothes into 'comfy clothes" as she calls them.
Quite happy for daughter to make decisions if out shopping qnd I what to treat them to some clothing.
That’s giving with the heart
1st your husband needs to cut the apron ties immediately. He is married to you not his mother. He should stand by and support you as his wife and Mother of his child!
2nd your MIL is not going to change as long as momma’s boy cowers to her.
3rd you should not apologize to your MIL or cave in to her controlling tactics! It will only encourage her to continue to do so and escalate the MIL’s behavior.
MIL is a NARCISSIST. Nothing you do will every satisfy this woman UNTIL your husband puts his foot down and stands up to his mommy!
You need to do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your children from MIL mentally, physically and emotionally!!! As should your husband!!!
If you have not dealt with a NARCISSISTIC PERSON and their children that they have raised n abused you need to please educate yourself about them! They can be very harmful and hurtful to you and your children!
Seriously!
Especially when their grown child sides with them n supports their actions over you and your child. It can come down to fleeing for you and your child’s safety!
First how does she know what your mom buys
Do you tell her. ? If so first mistake. I learned a long time ago .just go with the flow
.i just give money .because kid s are pickie about what they wear
Put a smile on your face and don’t get angry that just cause trouble between you and hubby.
Though I do not know the grandma, I am a Grandma, and Have bought clothes for my grand daughter. I was happy if I saw her wearing what I bought her, and a little disappointed when I didn’t…always wished they had just taken a picture of her in the outfit I bought. Maybe that is what this woman should have done, but now that she did what she did…she should make a visit to her MIL by herself…sit down…let her MIL know that she did not do what she did to disrespect her, that she is sorry it happened, and she only wants to make things right so they can be a happy family together again. Tell her she cares about her and only wants the Family to be happy. That is what I would do…I am sure this lady did not do what she did to be mean nor does she hate her MIL.
Ok, l’m the grandma in your case and l’m talking from experience! I have two beautiful grand daughters and l did the same thing as your mother-in-law, but l learned a lesson real quick!! My taste wasn’t my granddaughters taste! I bought fancy greases and tried to send them home with the kids so they would wear them! Well, they never wore them so l stopped sending them home with the girls and my closet got full of fancy dresses! Those Dresses were not to play in so, they didn’t get worn. So when they spent the night with me, they brought their play clothes, because no matter where kids are, they want to play not sit in a chair with a fancy dress on!! Your mother-in-law is putting her “taste” of clothing on her granddaughter because “maybe”, as a child your mother-in-law didn’t have “fancy” dresses (You could count on one hand how many fancy dresses l had as a child) Let the granddaughter take grandma shopping and let the granddaughter show grandma what she wants to wear!! If grandma really loves that grandchild, her ways will change and shopping for that grandchild will become fun for both of them!! And by the way, buy school clothes or playing clothes will cost as much as fancy dresses!! Your daughter is the way to settle the problem, she’ll be the one to train grandma and set grandma on the right path!! But, Your biggest problem is your HUSBAND!! he should tell his mom to listen to you! If he can’t do that, get a new husband that will stick up for you!!
Husband needs to learn which side the bread is now buttered on.
1 Like
Take the kids shopping and let them pick out what they like, or give the parents a gift card to be used for the child! Problem solved!!
This whole thing is ridiculous! I buy clothing for my great grand daughters . I buy what is needed and try to go with that. Occasionally I see a fancy dress that I can’t resist but realize it won’t be worn much. I also try to choose clothing that is comfortable and fits the personality of the child. It’s up to mom what she wears and often when I see her. She is wearing something else. Whats the big deal? We don’t know the laundry situation. So get over it!
Someday Grandma will gone and you should think about you might feel then, knowing your child will never have another gift from Grandma.
I normality don’t try to buy clothing because you never know what phase the kids are in or if i should buy something I leave a gift receipt so they can return if not wanted,wrong size etc. Does not hurt my feelings
Grandma sounds selfish and petty. And husband sounds spineless. The clothes are a “gift” and once given, they belong to your daughter, and as her mother, you get to decide what she wears. Her taste and your taste may be different. The fact that she has let this cause a rift between you will also put a damper on her relationship with her granddaughter. The way I see it, Grandma is the one who is in the wrong. Sometimes I think it’s best to live far away from these types of relatives.
Yes it’s nice to see your grandkids in something you bought. However if the grandparent asks first what the child needs, there isn’t a problem. This particular gran seems to have made a problem out of nothing.
My MIL made fun of a neighbor boy in plaid knee britches when her son was young. My MIL pulled all this on me. We’re divorced!!
I would tell MIL that your daughter is to the point in age where she wants to pick out her own clothes and instead of her buying clothes just give the money for daughter to pick out what she knows she’ll wear. Can’t argue with that. At 5 years old they are expressing their own taste in clothes. It’s part of growing up.
1 Like
A. This husband needs to grow a set and back his wife. Period. He’s causing a lot of this friction by being a mama’s boy. (just so lame)
B. Why should a kid be used as a pawn by any grandparent?? I’m thinking specifically of over-nights where crazy grandma won’t let the child wear her own clothes–to spite the child’s mother. Just odious, selfish, spiteful behavior. Don’t subject a kid to that!
C. This couple needs to put their kid first and as clothes are an “issue,” forbid this old bat from giving clothes–and if she tries, give them back or give them away.
I’d be giving Grandma a gift certificate for therapy…
I Don’t Think You Should Have Returned Stylish Dresses fr. Panama’s!!! Dresses Like That Can Be $80.00 each & More !! The Kid Can Sleep in Many Things The Dresses Should Have Been Worn By Your Daughter & saved Fr. If You Have Another Daughter or A Granddaughter. By The Girls Mom. I Always Spent Good Money On My Kids Clothes Boys & Girls. I Kept Them When They Outgrew Them fr. Future Children. I Have Let The Kids as They Got Older & had Children pick & Let the Kids Wear the Kids Before them clothes. From Bathing Suits Shorts ,Pants ,Tops Beautiful Dresses in Satin & Velvet. & The Boys Clothes in Gorgeous Blazers ,Dressed Pants. You Name it & Fantastic Shoes. I Washed them Up Sealed them in garment Bags & put in Plastic Storage Crates Many. & Put Them in Closets. Then as They Wanted Them I Wash Them & they All Looked Brand New. & The Children Loved Them. Still Doing It !!! Go & Apologize to her. Buy Her Something. That She Likes. A Parfum ,a Great Lipstick ,A Designer Purse. Something That She Will See as a Plus. & She May Forget About The Kids Clothes. Saving a Relationship Is Better in The Long Run Than Having An Enemy !!!
1 Like
Right now!! Your husband needs to have your back, yes he loves his mom but you trump that. Don’t let him disrespect you. He knows how to talk to his mom respectfully, married life is too long not to have him be in your corner
I brought dresses for granddaughters for years and a couple times suits for the grandsons wear,play dress-up, donate whatever at least once I did a ‘fashion photo shoot’ no expectations.
She wants to see what she bought being used. If you bought someone a gift and they returned it for something else how would you feel. You possibly made her feel what she bought was not good enough, and since you did return something she bought now she feels you will do it again, so in order to see the clothes she bought being used she keeps them at her house, then dresses your daughter up, also she may feel girls should be dressed up in cute dresses. When grandparents buy them something they want to see their grandchild in them, if they needed PJs you should of said something but instead took back the clothes back without saying a word, grandma tried to do something nice but you made her feel it wasn’t good enough. I have a family member who would buy clothes for someone else and the clothes was returned, but after the first time they did it later on and did it again, they felt what they bought was never good enough and would just be returned. You should of let grandma know when the clothes was to big and when she can wear them, also if she needed any clothes such as PJs you should of let her know. The way you went about things has caused the problems in your relationship, your husband has both you and his mom saying stuff to him, and whoever he sides with he will just be the bad guy. But its not an unspoken rule in having your daughter wear what grandma buys, its common knowledge when given a gift you don’t return it or gift it to someone else. You may have returned it and bought PJs but bottom line you returned them, you chose to exchange for PJs but did grandma know that or think you kept the cash. Apologize to her and let her know the dresses was to big and needed PJs, but lack of communication has hurt your relationship, and sadly returning something she bought has hurt her, which sounds petty but she is trying to do something nice and felt important even needed.
I have bought and hand made things for my grandkids only to NEVER see them again. Is it something to be in an uproar over, I think not. It does cause hurt feelings, but life goes on, is what I figure. I one had a daughter in law that would take things back, to get the money back, so I started cutting tags off, so she didn’t know where I got them. My other son did the same.
1 Like
Sounds much deeper than the clothes issue. Would be nice to get to the root of the problem.
1 Like
okay so I’m the mom in this instance! I grew up with hand me downs and only got new clothing at the beginning of the year and during high school when I REALLY needed it. My mom HATED my ex husband so she wouldn’t buy hardly ANYTHING for my son, she almost acted like he didn’t exist until I got a divorce. YEAH sad and rather petty I KNOW. She has bought him A LOT of shoes and jeans only when SHE feels that he needs them though. She goes with him and lets him pick them out and only what she can afford. She and my dad now live off SSI so I accept all the help I can get from them being a single mama. NOW returning the clothing was wrong… YES she needed pjs I totally get that BUT the grandma bought her those dresses for a reason. I would have asked the grandma if she could also find some pjs for the daughter, there is NO harm in asking. OR she could have said that the daughter didn’t need the dresses and she needed pjs more and if she could just give her money to help with the pjs then that would be better