If i were you,id stop stressing about it, don’t fall for the emotional manipulation, always put a big smile on your face and pretend you have no issues, talk to her as if nothing has happened or changed, some people get off in knowing they have affected you… if it’s brought up again, just shrug and say i don’t know what was i thinking and laugh it off …but don’t start feeling or showing guilt, this is a minor issue and shouldn’t affect your relationship with your mil …put it behind you and move on and she will have to to then
Nope. It’s nice to have her put them on and send a pic, but not required.
Next time have try it on and take a picture, tuck the tag and take it return it. I quick pic would be equivalent to trying it on a the store. Put in a picture frame and give to Grandma.
I always tell mine if you don’t like it to carry it back
It could all be solved by dressing your daughter in the gifts and taking a picture!! Share the picture with your midland have some of the pictures framed for her!!
I get second hand from thrift stores so idk I don’t care let them wear holes in them then toss no loss
if the problem truly is the fit and time to wear, then i would ask the grandma to buy 1 size up to make sure it will fit till next year if they dont get to use it till then. or as someone else mentioned in the comments i would tell the grandma what the issue is and let her know that the clothes dont fit by the time they see her and just send her pictures in the clothes so she knows that youre atleast using them once.
Just give them money and let their mom and dad buy whatever they need that will solve the problem no more heartaches
Have you said the words, “I am so sorry that I hurt your feelings”? No if ands or buts.
Your number one problem is the mama’s boy you married. Start there and next Grandma makes a snide comment leave if she’s at your house kick her out and if hubby protests he can leave with mama. If you don’t stop it now you’re doomed. I suffered in silence for a few decades. Boundaries. No snide comments. Leave take daughter and go zero contact till she and hubby apologize. Ridiculous. Over clothing!
Not sure if this is right or not. But maybe put your child into the clothes and send a photo. At least shes them in them?
Husband should have wife’s back
Your husband needs to have your back. Full stop.
Me too it’s a gift if they want to exchange it they can but I usually ask what they need before I buy
Husband needs to grow a pair.
Take a picture before returning it!
Fighting over clothing, ridiculous, so petty, maybe let her know what your daughter needs clothing wise, this has been as they say it, making a mountain out of a mole hill
I feel lots of resentment in this statement. Also lots of resentment from some of the answers, for mothers in law. I think that’s what this is all about.
Why don’t u just use common sense. Its really not that big of a deal and you don’t have to hurt someone’s feelings. You know exactly what the right thing to do is.
Tell the kid that grandma got run over by a reindeer and voila…
I’m a nana and ask what the boys want or need before I buy, that way they don’t get something they don’t like or won’t wear.
Humour the old duck, put the dress on ya kid.
Returning those dresses was an insult.
As a grandmother, I prefer to give money. Their mother knows best what they might need.
I would never be that selfish. If I give a gift and they either don’t like it, it doesn’t fit or they really need something else take it back and get something else. Don’t be a selfish whiny bag.
A gift is just that. What you do with it after it is received shouldn’t be an issue.
You only hear one side. I don’t say anything, I’m in the same situation.
Have your husband read all these comments. He needs to have your back at all times.
To answer the question at the end of the meme: We live near an outlet mall and far from our children. When we buy clothes there for our pre-school grandchildren, we first ask their parents what they would like us to buy. Then we send the purchases to the parents. We leave the tags on so the parents can decide to return anything. We would be equally content if the parents didn’t mention the clothes were from us. It’s not about us. It’s about having a way to be involved and supportive of our children (which includes spouses) and their families.
First understand that it isn’t about the gift. It’s about power. Notice that this account is all about the adults. The child is just the pawn. The mother-in-law has created a wedge issue, probably one of many or the first of many, between the mother and father, and that is what has to end. When the mother and father intelligently and maturely resolve the grandma power problem between themselves, how they should then together approach grandma about it will become more clear. Hopefully it will require only talking with grandma about the relationship(s) involved. If grandma refuses to proceed accordingly, her true colors will be on display. Then it will be time to say no more clothes will be accepted from her because they are a source of family discord. And stick with it 100%. Of course, grandma can still try to interfere in later years by telling the child that granny would like to buy her nice clothes but mom says it’s not allowed. Then tell the child the truth of history. Some old people like to hold power and feel relevant at all costs, but with any luck they die early.
I was buying clothes for the grandies, expensive ones, I have never seen them worn, a bit disappointed but then had to realise what I like is not what they like so now I give them money to do with what they like. Safest bet. It’s hard but letting your girls wear the grandmother clothes is either sucking up to her which gives the children the wrong idea. Let them wear what they want and maybe granny will soon realise their mind is different from hers, they are individuals and not puppets. Thank her and suggest things she could give.
Gramma needs to grow up
A gift is just that, yours to do with as you see fit.
U can always put the outfit on her and send grandma a picture lol
By the way I have 5 grandkids. 19 great grandkids and 4 great great grandkids
A gift given with expectations is not a gift. Period!
Grandma is being ridiculous
Your husband and his mom need to grow up
Most grandmas are normal. This one is nuts
That grandma sounds like she would be a blast at a party🤨
Sorry to say I empathize with every aspect of your story. Not your loss, it’s hers. Don’t beat yourself up.
Sounds like a very controlling Grandma. Not sure there is an answer
Let your daughter choose her own clothes. Nurturing her sense of self.
One time. Take a picture, send to Grandma and carry on.
Mother inlaws love your grandchildren and stop causing trouble
Your mother in-law is immature and controlling!! And your hubby needs to stick up for you.
It sounds too exhausting for me.
Maha Jabeen angrezon kay bhi desi maslay hain
I would just ignore the woman. If she doesn’t get a reaction, she may stop.
take her picture in the dress and send it to her
Once a gift has been given, you are free to do what you want with it
You can’t fix her. She’s the problem. Tell her to save her $
Grandma needs to get a life .
Put her in it. Take a picture for grandma then do what you want with it…
Problem solved.
Let your husband dress The child.
Grandma obviously loves your daughter
Take a picture send to grandma then return it !!
Grandma needs a hobby.
Life is so short, why let MIL get to you? If you don’t like what she buys, just put it on her when she visits her! Was she nice to you before this problem? I wish my MIL would treat me nice! She went to my neighbors house and told them that I was no good because I had children from my marriage, (now divorced) so that made her mad, she also made my husband a mama’s boy and self centered, which I didn’t know when I married him. He didn’t show me that side of him👹
Soon enough the kids will only wear what they want anyways
Put her in the clothes and take a bunch of pictures to send her .
tell them not to buy your daughter clothes ever ,buy her toys .
Take a cute picture and send it.
Put them on and take a pic!!
Done and done!!
She sounds like a monster in law.
Grandma is completely out of line.
If it upsets you, don’t buy clothes. Open her a saving account for college
That grandmother sounds like a bit#h!!!
one day you will be her and then you will know .
With all that’s going on in the world, you choose this to complain about …count your blessings if this is your biggest problem
I do it once, send them a pic, and done. Lol
MIL sounds like a real bitch to me… I’d stop going out of my way and let hubby deal with it.
I often buy my granddaughter outfits and as far as I’m concerned once I hand them over they don’t belong to me anymore and if I found out they were changed for pyjamas I would think "what a practical idea! . I keep clothes for her in mmy house for when she stays so always see her in the outfits we buy her. It’s a win win situation.
OMGosh much ado about nothing! Take a photo and text or IM with your daughter in the outfit. Jeeze, so much more important stuff to be concerned about than an outfit!
My mother in law knitted beautiful sweaters for our son ,I made sure he had it on when we visited ,also sent pictures of him in the sweaters. It saved alot of upset .and when they got to small I let her know
As a mom I see your side but I spoil my God daughter with clothes. It does my heart good when I see her wearing it and enjoying it. Regardless of how fancy or not fancy she always makes a point to wear something I gave her. It’s the little things that light the heart. Is it really that hard to make an old woman happy. Maybe send photos of her in the outfits when it’s too inconvenient or impractical to wear.
Please get a life, you all should be ashamed of yourselves. Get along.
No you are not wrong your husband should support you
speak your mind what is going to change if she doesn`t agree
I’m not a grandma BUT my MIL us. Ne and her had some disagreements on clothing but that’s because she’s old-school. My daughter wasn’t much for pretty dresses soo I had to talk to her about it. Also anytime I returned clothes I let her know why first so no hard feelings, shoo there were even times we made it a girls day out with grandma so she felt apart of the experience
I as a grandmother I would tell my daughter in law that I’m going shopping today and I would like to buy my granddaughter something what could I buy for her, do you have any suggestions, because you could help me in buying something that she could use. Let the daughter in law help in making this decision. What do you feel she could use. Sometimes just buy something and tell her here is the receipt you may exchange the gift for something else if you choose too, no hard feelings .
My grandmother was weird like that too buying me clothes to keep at her house and when I would come to visit I would have to wear the things she had put up for me.
Sometimes it was things I really loved and I wanted to take it home but I couldn’t and I would stay overnight so infrequently that sometimes she would buy outfits and I would only get to wear them one time before I outgrew them.
Other times they were cut down old lady dresses made to fit and were relatively embarrassing even though she didn’t think so.
Don’t think bad about my grandma she was lovely and I miss her practically every day.
I think it would be an extra nice way to show appreciation tom have your daughter wear at least some…and then say…you know I love that you buy her clothes…can o let you know what she needs so she ll get more use out of them? right now jammies are on the list…I tbink.shed like that…problem solved. there us no reason to argue over abundance
I buy my grandkids clothes a lot. Especially my only granddaughter out of three grandson’s. I do it because I enjoy it and love seeing her happy getting them. Most of time she has liked what I get.
Grandma needs to grow up 100%. Do not baby her by "sending her pictures of the kids in what she bought " as so many have said. She’s an adult, not a child and children are NOT dolls. If the clothes are impractical and something else is needed more, return it. Gifts are supposed to be gifts. They should not come with stipulations. Grandma is bratty and manipulative. And the husband is not much of a husband if he doesn’t get it.
Sounds like your husbands a Mommas boy. MIL needs to be told🙂
Indeed, and when a birthday is approaching I appreciate hearing what is needed so maybe you could gently suggest the children’s needs. I would never want my grandchildren to wear something I had bought that didn’t fit!! It is appreciated however if they do wear/use a purchased item I have bought.
Being a grandma myself I can say I like to see my granddaughter in things I have bought for her but I know other people buy her things too and mom can dress the child in anything she wants. This seems like a silly thing for grandma to get so upset about. Also I wouldn’t be insulted if mom wanted to exchange things for something more practical or needed. Dad needs to side with the child’s mom and tell Gma she’s over reacting
It’s never okay to return a gift…sorry, but if you only have child you she able to buy that child pajamas…and whatever else the child need…that’s part of good parenting, giving your child the message that when you are old enough to have a child, you need to support that child in every way necessary!
Give her clothes and if she doesn’t wear them when you visit….
When someone buys something as a gift it should be with no strings attached. Sounds like grandmother little controlling. I put your daughter in all the clothes she bought and take pictures. Maybe make a little photo album for grandmother. Your husband should back you up.you need to have a serious talk with him.
You will never fix it. She’s petty
My girls’ grandparents didn’t buy them clothes. My mother-in-law did once when my firstborn was beginning to crawl. At that time we attended a church that didn’t believe women/girls should wear pants. Mother-in-law bought her pants and insisted that I let her wear them "otherwise she will never learn to crawl. " when asked how she and her siblings learned to crawl, she had no answer and left me alone. (In those days even little boys wore gowns). I returned pants and got dresses.
In other words a gift is a gift. Period. I buy or make dresses for my granddaughter. Sometimes I see her in them, sometimes I don’t.
(BTW…I no longer believe it’s wrong for women to wear pants, but I think people’s beliefs should be respected.)
Sounds like it’s not about the clothing. It’s about jealousy and control. Has nothing to do with you.
Your husband needs to back you no matter what.
Be pleasant, kind, do not let her disrespect you. I would put my daughter in the clothes for dress up. Take a picture send to your mother in law.
When my Kids were younger my Mom asked what Clothing they need and thats what she bought .And she always bought nice things .Or she took them shopping to get what they like
What is wrong with this controlling Grandmother ? I never bought clothes for my grandkids without my daughters input she knows what they need or might like far better than me. There is no point in buying fancy dresses when the kid need pyjamas it would appear communication is key here. As for the husband well it looks like he’s always been controlled by mummy and still is. Hmm ! No easy answers to this one without saying some truth bombs to this woman and her son.
Wtf sounds like grandma is acting like a child. My I laws send my kids clothes all the time they have never ones expected to see my kids in them. My ex in law was like that would by a fancy dress then expect to see my oldest in the dress so I always used it as her birthday dress and I would ask for it a few days early and tell her I wanted it as her birthday and Easter dress it solved the problem quickly. But she was a royal stuck up snob. Which is exactly what sounds like you are dealing with.
My sister keeps the clothes she purchases for her granddaughters so they have them when they stay with her on weekends and some holidays with the exception of the outfits that the girls are extremely fond of and want to take home. This is because sometimes days are rough for the Mom and sometimes she forgets or doesn’t particularly know what weekend plans are going to be and occasionally the girls might dirty clothes or soil underwear. This has been the standard for them and has worked out beautifully.
Perhaps if you were to write a heart to heart message to your mother in law? Explain to her that this has been weighing heavily on your mind. That you would like to extend your gratitude and appreciation for all of the things she does for your daughter and yourself.
Sometimes it’s best to let things be and just spontaneously send a note to let others know that they are important and matter.
Even if it were she who struck the first blow you as the person who is above that (especially since it’s affecting your marriage) need to be the bigger person and put the ball into her court with your conscience clear. If she continues to act inappropriately towards you then perhaps you need to confront this issue head on but remember, Grandma has a lot of emotional pull with their grandchildren and if she’s as petty as you make her sound, she might manipulate your daughter so TREAD LIGHTLY
The rebel in me suggests asking the clothes obsessed grandma what her goal is. To spend time with her grand child or see the clothes on parade. If her focus is on the clothes, not the child, box them up and return them to her. Or let her play in the mud in her church dresses. The child is a child, not a manequin. My girls hated the discomfort and activity restriction of dresses when they were young. MY goal was to accommodate them, let them be children, let them be comfortable and have the choice of what they wore, whether it was fashionable, color coded or not. Tutus with cowboy boots was fine with me. It gave them confidence and a voice with no consequences.
As the grandma to 8 grandkids I ALWAYS ask my sons and their wives what the kids want/need as gifts. I would NEVER buy something and then “throw it in your face” that you weren’t using it. That is selfish and rude. Your daughter…you do YOU. If she needed pajamas, that makes WAY more sense than a fancy dress she has no where to wear. Don’t feel guilty. Grandma is wrong.
U should. At leads show u appreciate it let here wear it