My opinion is, returning the gift to the store was wrong.
Second opinion is, that both of you are being petty, for letting a disagreement over a dress, get in the way of a healthy relationship.
Solution.
You apologize… And she let’s it go.
You shouldn’t have returned anything…you should have bought what your child needed and used the fancy dresses for picture opportunities for holidays and stuff…if you know the grandma buys clothes for gifts then you maybe should have mentioned to her what your daughter needed bc maybe then she would have gotten some stuff she needed as well and it could have not caused drama
10 Likes
It sounds like some people need to grow up and be realistic. You have a child,not a doll.
If your mother in law wants to see her grandchild in those dresses she could have washed them, put them on her and taken pictures without the drama she is causing.
Yes,it’s generous to give clothes,but the size at the time and how the child plays in them matters as well. Here’s a tip be specific and state I feel this way when you do this or that. I cannot trust you and feel uneasy when you do xyz. You’re stating a boundary and a concern then zip it. They may go on the defensive,but they will either get it or stay miserable.
Those of you, suggesting she “Leave her husband” are really being extreme.
This is petty. If she thought it was something that should end the relationship, she wouldn’t be here, asking for solutions.
Bad advice. You don’t just leave… Relationships take working out.
6 Likes
Sounds to me like this grandma is a little bit controlling. I have experience with a controlling MIL, and the relationship doesn’t usually get better if you push her away. Then again, giving her everything she wants reinforces the behavior she is exhibiting. Like others on this post have said, giving her the option to buy the things the child needs is a good start. Maybe also having your husband telling her what she needs will help build that bond back, because hearing it from him might get her to understand it better. It’s all about communication and understanding. Some people are hardheaded and won’t understand because they are so stuck in their ways. You just have to find the cracks in their twisted logic and find ways to get them to understand why it doesn’t benefit the situation.
As for what to put on your daughter, why not let her decide? That way Grandma will be even more proud when your daughter picks something she bought and it will have nothing to do with you anymore. She won’t have any reason to be upset when it’s her granddaughter picking the clothing. I don’t know the daughter, but if she’s anything like mine, she’ll develop her own fashion sense and style by the time she’s 8, and if she doesn’t want to wear something, she won’t. 
Period.
I think you are both wrong .I would never take a gift back to the store a grandparent got my kids .If they need pjs buy them ,and yes alot of grandparents want to see their grandchildren in the clothes they get them fancy dresses most definitely maybe even in pictures .The grandma on the other hand is being mean and should let it go or if she wont listen to you write her a note maybe she’ll understand you made a mistake and move past it for the relationship older people can be set in their ways sometimes. Your husband should man up.
Put the dress on the child, put a bow in her hair, have her smile for the camera, take picture, send to grandma with a gracious thank you note letting her know how appreciated she is and how much the granddaughter loves the dress and move on with life. As for the husband, the two of you should always have a united front. You dress your daughter the way you see fit. She is not a doll.
2 Likes
As my grandson has always lived with me i have always been aware of his needs and that is what i bought his other grandparents have always ask about his needs so we have never had issues
Well yeah if someone anyone buys your child clothes it’s in hopes to see the child in them. Returning a gift someone buys you is the biggest slap in the face. Seems to me you don’t care for your husband’s mother very much…
5 Likes
I would have dressed her up one day in the fancy dresses took pictures sent the pictures to grandma 🤷
10 Likes
You and MIL are both petty. There are better things to turn both your energy to than to fight about what clothes your 5 year old wear. Put yourself in her shoes, and she needs to do the same. Stop making mountains over molehills… and your relationship will improve. You both share something you both love… a precious child… allow the other one to love her as well… without conditions.
Besides, a 5-year old loves dress up, and should be allowed to wear fancy dresses anywhere, even to bed if they chose to… it is after all your daughter’s clothes (gift), and not yours… so you shouldn’t have returned it for pj’s.
9 Likes
Feed your daughter spaghetti in the fancy dress…in front of grama so she sees it ruined. Next time you return something just say it was stained & thrown out lol
5 Likes
Oh hun, just thank her for the gifts/clothes and remind her, the child is growing up so fast, what fits today might not fit next month. End of story. All the best.
3 Likes
You returned a GIFT of 2 fancy dresses bc YOU decided your child Needed pajamas instead. Yeah I agree with your husband, Regardless if the dresses were practical or NOT having someone else constantly buying YOUR child clothes especially FANCY dresses is a blessing in itself! My question is, Did you send your little girl to granny’s in the pajamas? Practical OR Not, I would have sent her to granny’s in the Fancy dresses to show how much I APPRECIATED granny’s effort to make sure My child has nice clothes. My son’s paternal grandmother Dosent do SHIT for my son! If she were to buy him 3 piece suits, I would be sending him to see her wearing 3 piece suits on a Saturday, but that’s me.
I am a grandma of 4 and 3 of them I buy almost ALL of there clothes and always have. If the child needed something else or simply did not like what I bought, by all means take it back and get what’s needed or what they like !! How extremely petty, mean, nasty and controlling of the grandma/mom in law
1 Like
I think you and your mother in law need to have a cup of coffee and you could be the bigger person, explain why you traded in the dresses for pajamas and apologize.
Petty grandma for sure!
Next round of clothes, do a dress up day and take pictures of her in said outfits and send them to her.
Quit sucking the joy out of Grandma. You’re being selfish.
5 Likes
Sure dress her if it fits but if it’s just to much or fancy or you don’t like yes buy what you need exchange not like she’s keeping the money for herself. Get the pj’s.
Look, grandma isn’t going to be around forever. Make grandma happy while she’s still around, and put the fancy dresses on the kid or whatever grandma buys. Stop being fussy.
7 Likes
As a grandma or Nana, i like to get my great-grand-daughter in the clothing i get her because i spend a lot of time and money picking out the special clothing. It just warms my heart to see her in it. My grandchildren honor my efforts.
I personally think the grandma is being petty , end of day the money went on her grand child and the grand child’s needs ! Should just be happy her grandchild has what they need and if have over night will see them in the pjs 
It’s clothing 
. Fix your husband then he can work on fixing his mother.
9 Likes
Girl ur not wrong and all these people telling you u are, are obviously not right in the head…idgaf if my kids grand parents bought them anything if i didnt like it or they wanted or needed something else i damn well am going to make sure they put the reciept for just in case or a gift reciept ! Because that shit will be returned…and if not then it’ll be donated…ur not obligated to do abything for anyone about ur child!! My inlaws usually send money or if they buy them stuff they ask 1st and the same with family if they buy anything they always ask if they need anything 1st and what they need… oh and also if i buy anyone anything its usually a gift card or cash so they can pick what they want or need!! It’s not a big deal what this post is about but the family making it a big deal is crazy girl!! U should throw the husband away!! Him and his psycho family!!! Run girl!!
Having exchanged clothing my mother bought me (not my style or color), I get where you’re coming from. And yes, I’ve bought my granddaughter clothing that never seems to get worn… For whatever reasons, but I don’t take offense. I’ve started buying her projects and books and games instead… She’s my grandchild and it’s not my call to determine how she dresses. My own daughter refused to wear numerous outfits when she was growing up… It’s not personal
I would buy grandma and baby matching outfits to your taste and see if she is willing to wear it when you go visit! But then again i am very petty like that! 
buy her something trendy with lots and lots of bling bling, maybe she will realize that it is ok not to wear something that you do not like!
Oh poor you. That’s so awkward.
I would exchange (and that isn’t returning a gift) a formal dress for pyjamas if that’s what my kid needed and money was short. Sounds like good parenting to me.
Is there anyway you could sit with grandma and confront her about this argument that is upsetting everyone. Buying clothes and seeing the kid wearing them is a way of having possession and influence . But still I’d have an honest chat. Tell her your kid doesn’t need so many formal clothes. And maybe not so many clothes at all.
I’ve met a few kids whose family started a bank account for the kids and instead of unnecessary clothes and toys over the years, they put a bit of cash aside. At 18 they’ve had cars or holidays from the fund. What would they think of that?
Grandma needs a way of sharing in her granddaughter’s life which isn’t about clothes. Can she be included more ?
Your husband has no balls nor backbone. It’s your MIL who’s TA on this.
8 Likes
No you don’t have to dress her in anything you don’t want her to wear 
2 Likes
It’s okay to return a gift that wouldn’t be used for what you’re child needs. Grandma had her own children to dress. Now grandma needs to be grandma and stand down. Grandma wants to buy clothes and keep them at her house no big deal let her.
7 Likes
Your daughter is NOT a show pony! Let her get a Barbie to dress up. She’s only doing that to mess with your nerves. Grandma needs a HOBBY! No puppets here!
8 Likes
Granny should respect Mom and a simple question what does the grandchild need. Could
6 Likes
My MIL gives the receipt along with the clothes in case I want to return for something else 
1 Like
When I buy my granddaughter some clothes I do expect her to wear them… I do it because I love her and if I never see the child in it it hurts my feelings… yes… I would much rather the mother make up a story, tell me that child don’t need it, it don’t fit or whatever and ask me if I mind if she returns it and exchanges for something the child needs more… at least then I would not be insulted
Grandma needs to get her head out of her ass.
5 Likes
I cant believe how many people are supporting MIL. She sounds like a controlling nightmare and is completely out of line. And so too is the husband. His wife, his kid, none of his mom’s business how.they dress their kid. The wife did usually dress the kids in the clothes given as gifts. Why keep something that was impractical and would not get used? And the wife sounds like she has tried to be nice and MIL is being a petty b*tch. If I was her I would tell my husband I expect his support and for him to always be on my team. If he wanted to remain on his mom’s team he should have stayed single and continued living with his mom.
Who needs a mother in law anyways?
they are trouble. Keep daughter away. Maybe buy her a doll to dress instead. Baby girl don’t need that in her life.
Firstly… you don’t have to fix the relationship…the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world . She’d do well to remember it’s your child your rules !!!
6 Likes
I’m a grandmother and with common sense. If i buy anything for my grandsons i always tell there mother i have the receipt if she needs to return it or leave the tags on so she can return it.
Don’t look a gifr house in the mouth! You can’t tell her what to buy or not to buy she is grandma have to keep her HAPPY I lived that for 20 yrs!
Your husband married YOU, not his mother. He needs to side with you, instead of making his mother a priority. He needs to sit down with her, and set boundaries. l have 2 biological grandkids, and 2 adopted grandkids. l quit buying clothes, because l can’t keep up with sizes. SO, l sent my 10 year old grand daughter some beads, a card, and a $20 gift card. l have called my son, and asked for sizes. Explain tot your husband how it makes you feel when he sides with his mom, that your emotions, he needs to respect you.
How grandma can solve the problem is by asking what the grandchild needs. I have grandsons that are 5 and 3. Communication with them and their parents let’s me know what they NEED and Want. And sometimes I just buy things because they are cute. I enjoy buying them things, it’s one less thing their parents have to buy and they feel the item is special because grandma bought it. It’s a win win situation.
1 Like
First off, it doesn’t hurt anything to dress the kids in clothes that a grandparent purchased when going to see that grandparent. Second it was kind of an ass move to return the clothes she purchased without at least speaking with her since it wasn’t because they didn’t fit. Third, make your husband dress your daughter before going to grandmas house, then if anything is said you can simply say her dad dressed her. Sounds like you are both pretty petty. If you can’t get along with her, make your husband take your daughter for visits and you stay home. And another thing, I wouldn’t send clothes to your home anymore either if you return them to the store. You could have just bought your child pajamas.
Your MIL has a control issue and you won’t be controlled. You need to talk with your husband and remind him you need his support when it comes to your daughter. The clothing is obviously her way of trying to control not only you but your daughter.
Go visit your MIL, alone if possible and try to clear the air, gently suggest she discuss clothing purchases with you first as your child taste has changed as she gets older or the three of you go on a shopping trip together, get to know each other better and hopefully avoid issues in the future. Good luck.
1 Like
Sorry but you did a big NO No. You don’t return a gift from grandma for pj’s. You should have hung on to the dresses until they fit. If granny gave you a gift receipt then that’s a different story. It’s going to a hard to let that one go.
3 Likes
Don’t be thwarted by people telling you you are wrong/selfish/nasty etc… this isn’t about the clothes, it’s about who is in charge, and I’d bet that question arises in areas other than what the kids wear too. Grandma’s joy should not be tied to what her grandchildren wear… And you as their mother should not feel at all obligated to dress your children in anything anyone bought for them. My children received so many clothes from family members that if I spent my time dressing them in things others bought, they never would have worn anything I bought for them. Not to mention, mine hated frilly dresses. So, while it’s kind and generous to buy clothes for them, others do not always know what they need. Say thank you for everything and do as you please - or, if you want, tell her to please not buy clothes because they have many more items than they could wear - OR, tell her what they could use. If that request is ignored, then so be it. Your husband should be supporting you and not siding with his mother (in everything, btw - YOU are his wife and even if he doesn’t agree, you work that out privately. It’s very disloyal and shitty of him to publicly side against you, with anyone.) It’s becoming a power play and it’s ridiculous. You are their mother - you make the decisions - the end. Nothing to feel bad about. If grandma wants to hold a grudge, that’s her problem. She might rethink that when her hostility causes you to visit less often. Don’t let her undermine your choices either… If you pack them clothes, that is what they should wear. She has no business making those decisions - or any others - above you.
1 Like
If someone gifted a gift of clothes not my taste for my girls I just took a picture with them wearing it and sent it to the gift giver. 
Eventually I donate it. Fancy dresses were honestly either donated or used as play dresses cause we didnt do dress up events alot. If she wasnt gonna wear them I don’t see anything wrong with exchanging them for something she could actually use and was going to wear. It’s not like you exchanged them for drug money. Shes your kid and you decide what shes gonna wear. I think you made a good effort to put her in the clothes when she saw her Grandma. You’re not wrong.
I would have a sit down conversation with your MIL and explain how you have for years been very diligent in making sure that your child wear the gifts as long as they currently fit. And it is really ruining your relationship with her being upset about one time that the child’s needs came first. If ya’ll can move past this, there may be a solution. When grandma wants to buy clothing for the child that she give you a call and double check on clothing size and current needs of the child. Then there should not be any issues to continue having the child wear the clothes when visiting.
I had to have this conversation with mine when she became my ex MIL (the arguing is one of the reasons for the divorce) because I had enough. And since then we have had no issues. She calls or texts me anytime she has found something for the kids to confirm sizes and needs. And I have started texting her when the children’s sizes have changed and if the children need something and currently funds were tight.
That’s a multi level hard one.
I think you were doing the right thing dressing your daughter in the gifted clothes. That’s exactly why she gave them to you so she could see her grandchild in them.
As for returning the dresses, I wouldn’t have done that. Surely you could have found another way to get pj’s! I understand they may have been fancy but maybe that’s an opportunity for a photo session for a gift for grandma.
As for your husband not really defending you to his family that’s a no no but there needs to be alot more communication between you about these issues.
I think if you and your husband were united this will help improve things with the MIL.
Keep trying, I’d maybe apologize and say you didn’t understand the situation about the dresses and try and move forward.
Grandma should have asked what daughter needs instead.of getting something impractical. It’s like uhh thanks for the gift but she cannot use these. Let’s normalize not having to kiss anybody ass and you don’t have to fix a relationship you didn’t break. You did what you thought was right and you don’t need to explain nor justify that to anyone. Grandma don’t like it oh well she don’t need to get anything else then.
7 Likes
You are thinking about a gift in the correct manner. Grandma needs to take a seat and stop talking. She is the one ruining the relationship, not you. She is acting like she’s the Mom of your child. Take your power back and stop worrying about her nonsense. You do what is best for your child and she can go scratch.
8 Likes
Stop telling her to dress her up in grandma’s clothing, dress your child however you feel, stop the nonsense, as she stated she always does, so if you dont do it one time, to hell with the mother-in-law, stop fixing relationships where people emotionally abuse you, your husband needs to know what support is in a marriage. Man cut the crop about grandma this and grandma that, she is a first time mom. Tf what with you all. They all need to work together as a team for the best interest of the child. Keep trying momma.
Dress your daughter in the outfit, snap a pic and send to Gma.
Do you tell your Mother what to buy for your daughter or just your Mother in law ? Some Daughter-in-laws have a problem with their husband’s mom . I am glad your husband take up for his mom .
I have 20 grandchildren and 14 grandchildren ,I think you are out of order what a hurtful thing to do
grandma bought the dresses with love and pride so that your little girl would be the pretty girl she is a loving grandma proud of her granddaughter and wants the world to see her.
grandma is the best friend your child will ever know.
someone said take your power back what a load of crap it’s a dress not a order ,. if your World was to fall apart tomorrow, she would be first to pick you up,
8 Likes
I’m a mother and a grandmother, yes I buy clothes that I think will look adorable on my grandchildren and yes I would love to see them wearing those things …. However if I buy them t-shirts/ dresses and they need pajamas or socks more I would have absolutely no problem with an exchange, it should be about the child’s needs .
I also make sure and ask what they are in need of before I shop usually, but there are occasions that I had no intention of buying them stuff and just happened to come across something adorable at an amazing price so they end up with an Easter dress in October that won’t fit till April 
I try to keep the receipts and give with items so they can exchange if they want
You sit your mil down and say u appreciate the thought of fancy dresses and clothes but thier not always needed. Pants shirts underwear socks under shirts r far more practical, if she makes a fuss just proceed to.leave and say I’m sorry umfeel this way.i just thought I’d bring it to your attention and walk away at least.u.tried. good luck
3 Likes
My mum and my nan always ask what clothes do my children need, my nan likes to buy pj’s and my mum likes to buy an outfit each. I just tell them what sizes and what they’re into i.e unicorns, cars, pandas etc
1 Like
If y’all are really arguing about clothes, there are much deeper issues going on- start with your husband. His peanuts are still in mom’s purse.
12 Likes
Make it a point, several times, to let her and everyone else know that Grandma bought the outfit she’s wearing every time you’re around her, it will get on her nerves eventually, just keep doing it… They say don’t go to their level, I say give her a taste of her own medicine!! I’m also a grandma and that’s a control issue!!!
2 Likes
From a grandma’s perspective, I’ve been buying clothes and other things for my grandchildren since the day (and before) they were born. For me, it means something to see my grands wearing those clothes or playing with those toys, or reading those books. I would not expect mom to return the items I buy. It’s not my job to buy what they need…it’s my job to buy what they want and what I want them to have. I have such limited time with my grands and I’m not going to be around forever, so whatever I can do to make them smile, I want to do it. If I get a kick out of it in the meantime, that’s even better. Please remember that grandparents are pushing as much good stuff into the time they have as they possibly can. Give them that time, those memories. Yes, we can be cantankerous, but it’s all about love and time.
It would not of.hurt to ask if its all right if I change the dress.s for pj thet you needed pj
2 Likes
Be happy Grandma wants to buy your child something. No one ever bought our children anything. We were told we can’t buy our granddaughter clothes or toys. Imagine that. Grandparents being told they aren’t allowed to buy anything for their grandchild. I wish I knew someone who would appreciate us buying something for their child.
6 Likes
This grandma sounds crazy. Throw the whole grandma out. Also, your husband should be supporting you. You’re his wife. Damn. I have three boys n I want them to put their partners first. I did my job raising them and hopefully it was a good enough job that they respect n love their partner and have their partners back.
1 Like
Husband always sides with her??? RED FLAG!!!
8 Likes
I don’t think it’s ok to return gifts. I never have and never will. They bought that as that’s what they wanted to buy.
1 Like
Are we really that petty geez
2 Likes
As a grandparent, I would never buy my grandkids PJ’s as a gift. I would buy them that just because if they needed them, but not a gift. Curious if your child spends equal time with the grandparents, or do your parents get more time and more daily details about the childs life and activities. Typically the paternal grandparents don’t get as much time and involvement, and it hurts. They sometimes try to compensate in gift giving. I’m sure the fancy dresses weren’t cheap and the grandma thought her granddaughter would look pretty in them. It would have been a nice gesture on your part to have at least dressed the child in the clothes and sent her a picture with a nice thank you note. No one says you have to actually dress the child in the clothing on a regular basis. But a nice gesture and making the other grandma feel appreciated and an important part of the childs life would go a long way.
I’m a grandma and I buy my granddaughter all types of things and never expect her to wear them. All though she does wear them because I am buying what she likes. Grandma should really try to buy clothing the child likes not party dresses. Does your daughter like princesses? Maybe grandma can buy her a good princess dress she can play dress up in.
I’m a great grandmother and wouldn’t have a problem either way.
2 Likes
I have a young daughter and I’m a grandma. My mother buys my daughter things, I buy my grandchildren things. Never once has my mother or myself acted the way your mother in law is acting. Gifts don’t always work out. Maybe you hated the dress…you are not obligated to dress YOUR child in anything other than what you choose to put on her. Your mother in law is a drama queen plain and simple. Its your child. Do what you want. It’s nice to keep the peace but she is the one causing the issue, it’s not your job to fix it. If anything it’s your husband’s job.
1 a child is not a fking doll. 2 if gma really cared she would ask what the child needs, not what she wants to see them in. 3 your husband is a mommas not who needs to take his head out if his mom’s a. 4 it’s both of their problem if they can’t see the effort you had put in before that incident.
My own father bought me a onesie, I was 10. I hated it, we returned it for something I would actually wear. There is nothing wrong with getting something the kid will actually use.
If you are ever faced with this predicament again. Take a picture of her in the outfit EVERY time it is worn and make sure there is a time stamp on it
Okay…
All if you people saying she is in the wrong… what is said little girl doesn’t even like dresses and is more of a Tom boy… would you still be forcing your child to wear dresses??
I think you need to explain to grandma that you appreciate the clothing. And maybe one dress is fine. But pajamas are always needed and more practical. Also they will get used alot more than one or twice a year.
And if she is THAT offended then I really wouldn’t let it bother you, and keep returning the items for things your child actually needs…
My husband’s side doesn’t buy the kids clothes. But my mother does. And she knows to ask me what the kids will wear. And their sizes, saves hurt feelings and the need for returning things.
Also, my step daughter is more of Tom boy and wouldn’t be caught wearing a dress… lol 
so I wouldn’t definitely be returning it…
What is wrong with this grandma? Bring upset over an outfit someone else bought your daughter?? Ridiculous. I know you want to fix this but this is HER problem and she needs to get over it AND your husband should back YOU up!
Now, perhaps you could have asked before returning the first dresses for PJs and she could have gotten something else instead. You catered to all this too much and kind of dug yourself a hole by not saying anything from the get-go. But the deed is done. So maybe apologize for not letting her know the dresses didn’t fit and returning them. Then move on to letting her know you appreciate everything but now that your daughter is getting older gift certificates would be better so she can try on clothes before purchasing. Or gift certificates for shoes! Shoes are expensive and they outgrow them so fast. My grandmother gave gift certificates to the kids every year for our local shoe store. She knew the kids were definitely getting shoes then! Not like it was a Walmart g/c that can get spent on nonsense. My grandmother was very poor growing up so they didn’t have many pairs of shoes so it was important to her.
I pretty much raised my niece through her teens. She now has a young son and I didn’t buy 2 second items. I bought the crib and changing table, the items to go in it, which will now be used for the 2nd child. I just bought both the baby gates they needed now that hes moving about. Made sure they are both expandable so id they move there is no worries. I got the baby gates for my father’s house because he takes the baby a lot. I got the twin bed and bed rail he will need eventually. I buy them the things they will need and will last. I get them just before they are needed. Someone who cares about the child and the parents wouldnt act the way this grandmother does. She would be providing needed things or even wanted things. She only providing things for her to see.
Stop letting this nonsense eat away at you. It happened, it’s over, let it go. If your MIL wants to continue making snarky comments, there really isn’t anything you can do about it except change the way you react. Just tell her that “you know you are a
horrible person…totally irredeemable…can we please move on now?”
Your husband may have agreed with his mom about the original issue, but he needs to grow a pair now and tell his mom, “enough is enough”.
Stop chastising yourself over something small, that happened some time ago and really wasn’t all that important to begin with.
7 Likes
My grandma EVERYDAY bought us something…. Everyday… and it was always a “fancy dress” when I was a little girl and my mom would only dress me in them when going to her house (which was everyday) I never wore pants as a kid.
I think you’re tripping, you shouldn’t have returned the dresses for pajamas, you should’ve bought them yourself with your husbands money, pijamas aren’t but $20 maybe less. I don’t know why you’re wording the gift “with strings attached”…. It’s not about that! It’s about gratitude, when I personally buy something for someone during Christmas it makes my heart happy to see them wearing it, it’s just common sense.
You should try and make peace and apologize to the grandma for returning the dresses and explain to her that your baby needed pijamas desperately and that’s why you returned them, not because you didn’t appreciate it or didn’t like or want them. This way she might get the point and you’re not being difficult. You’re a first time mom and this is why you didn’t know but this is how grandparents work. As far as your husband, he could be a bit more supportive and explain things to his mom to try and mediate the situation.
Toxic all the way around… Verbal and emotional abuse… you nor your daughter deserve that… Perhaps it’s time to think about what is best for you and your daughter.
1 Like
Totally toxic. So sad for you and the little one.
As a grandma I love seeing pictures of my grandkids in stuff I bought them. But I buy them clothes often and don’t always remember what I buy. I even give my daughters receipts just in case clothes don’t fit. I almost always ask my children what size my grandkids wear. But sometimes I buy things way ahead such as Christmas outfits. And I love when they pass stuff down to the cousins and I get to see them on another grandchild. I would not be upset if they returned something to buy what they actually need.
1 Like
Leave your husband with his momma.
6 Likes
Buy Grand Ma something you know she wouldn’t wear as a gift, ask her when your going to see her in it! Message sent!
14 Likes
I hate it when someone gives something, then every time you see them, they have to ask……did you like the so and so I gave you ? Then go on and on about it ! I know a couple of people that do that. Give it….and forget it !
1 Like
Sorry but if they was bought as a gift, to then exchange them for something else is just so ungrateful! 
if the child desperately needed pyjamas then you as the parent should be providing them, not relying on others to ‘gift’ them 
gifts are nice things that someone chooses to buy off their own back as a treat, not a necessity
11 Likes
Not if you don’t like them!
1 Like
Try sewing something with her that you child will fit?
Because with paternal grandma’s, 90% of the time, those grandparents get slighted. As they see it, the maternal grandparents get preferential treatment
They get more sleepovers, they get the actual Thanksgiving day & Christmas day, while paternal grandparents have to celebrate the holidays on a totally different day. If she needed pj’s, then I would’ve told hubby to go buy her some, or go ask his mom to buy her some, since he’s always taking her side. Put the kid on the phone or face time Granny & let her tell Granny what all she likes.
2 Likes
It is not a doll to play dress up with, grandma is crazy and you should avoid her completely
11 Likes
Not her kid, not her choice. Sounds like she’s giving a hissy fit to condition you into making you use the clothes she buys for your child.
She’s had kids, her time is over, now it’s time to be involved without nagging at you or don’t let her be a part of it at all
she needs to get used to the fact that you dress your child how you want. I’d like to add your husband is not very supportive of you just because his mom is having a hissy fit over clothing. (Big Red flag)
Your child, your choice. Do not let it get you down, they’re in the wrong, you are not.
My step mom always buys my daughter clothes. Always wants to see her in them. So when I put her in said outfit. I take a picture and send it to her. No fit about it. When we go over she has made a comment of where’s the clothes she’s bought, but she also knows her grand daughter is a messy independent girl. so she understands I let my daughter pick out her own outfits. Now when my step mom wants to buy her clothes say from old navy. We go online and I let her pick out a few outfits and grandma pays for them.
Ur mother n law is Ridiculous. I get being upset over trading clothing that she already bought. But at the same time… she should also communicate with u on what the child NEEDS over bullshit she just thought was cute so she impulsively bought it.
There is so much more to live for then to argue over clothing.
Yes when grandparents buy clothes they like to see them on the children.
2 Likes
I have grandsons. I buy clothes for them at times and yes I like seeing them in the clothes. I don’t get bent out of shape because mom doesn’t put the gifts on when visiting me. Normally I ring the parent to find out what the child needs first. If they need pjs I have no problem buying them although those pjs might be what I like. I don’t expect the child/ren to be dressed in the things I buy when they visit although I like seeing them in what I buy. But being a mother of six kids myself I usually forward think about what they may need.
A solution to your problem could be for you to speak up to the mil and tell her here and there what child needs and sizes ect. I certainly wouldn’t feel upset or angry if the clothes were taken back to store to exchange fir more practical items the child may need.
You sound ungrateful as hell for returning those gifts!!!
For one those are gifts, and that’s a slap in the face to whoever bought them in the first place!!! She sounds like a typical Grandma to me, either way who wouldn’t buy someone a gift and not expect to see them put it to good use, with the exception of dresses maybe not fitting of course, and if they don’t speak up, maybe next time try “oh the dress that u got her was nice, but it didn’t fit, she could definitely use some pjs though…!!!” Grandma may not know what she “needs,” so she’s buying dresses b/c she’s thinking of something nice ur Daughter could wear. Grandma is just doing what a Grandma does, she sounds very loving, it’s u who sounds toxic, and seems like no matter what Grandma buy’s it’s gonna be problem no matter what, grow up, and maybe learn to appreciate more, it’s no longer about u, it’s about ur child.
8 Likes
I’d send her in the dress. When people give gifts, they like to see them in use. I dont think this is isolated to your MIL. I do see how returning the item hurt her feelings. I also would privacy stop buying gifts until the child was older and could pick out her own stuff
You be u but she is going to be herself too…so yes dress your kid the way you want but let her have her days at her house too…and if you have to return something go together.
As a grandmother who makes and buys clothes for grandchildren, I think she deserves to see them dressed in them. It was totally wrong to take the pretty dresses back and get pajamas. Spend your own money on pajamas. However, as a grandmother when I make things and the kid never wears it, I stop getting or making clothing for that child and I ask what they need, what they are into so they will like and want to wear or use what I give them.
I would fix my relationship with my husband… one way or another. And I would not visit someone that calls me names.
MIL sounds like a witch and your hubby needs to take her tit from his mouth. Buy her a gaudy floral print dress and make her wear it. If she doesn’t then throw a fit and see how they act.
2 Likes
Well, I as a grandma either went with my daughter or daughter in law to get the kids their birthdays s Christmas . I don’t know what they want or need , whether it be toys or clothes. . My granddaughter never liked frilly stuff and did not wear it so I knew not to get that because she didn’t want to wear it. Now that’s she’s a preteen she is very particular about what she wears, so I get her what she wants and she’ll wear it. Your mother in law is not considering you or the child . She should be consulting you on this. My grandchild loves pajamas and comfortable clothing so that’s what I do. I believe you need to give kids choices on things where they can make choices . I would not but her too revealing things or shirts with bad says on it and she doesn’t go for that anyway
You messed up when you returned the dresses, they were gifts. Pajamas are a basic necessity that you should be providing for your daughter.
3 Likes