That’s ridiculous… when someone buys my lil an outfit I’ll take a pic n send when they wear if I remember but never has it been expected or anything like this. Sad.
6 Likes
I just rolled with it, they wore them to her house, but also, granny got pics of mine in the mud with them on. Become the master of the game😊 kids loved getting all dressed up, but would go in their fancy duds and head outside to play.
3 Likes
The quick fix? Put her in the clothes grandma bought when she goes to see her. The mature fix? Attempt to sit down with said MIL and voice your opinions calmly and BE OPEN to a difference of opinion. If this can’t be done, see “Quick fix.”
2 Likes
Would it be hard to dress her in them…take some photos… frame for grandma…put dresses up safe to pass on to your grandkids
3 Likes
Stop being petty and let your daughter wear the princess dress. Your kid is only young once and will only think of herself as a princess for so long. Who fucking cares if the beautiful dress gets ruined. Put the damn dress on, take a picture send it to your mil and let your kid continue on with her day. As for y’alls relationship it sounds like you both hold some resentment. And if neither of you can grow up and get over the fact that one grown ass man loves you both the relationship is doomed.
Just be grateful tht you have a caring and thoughtful mother in law. You know the old saying “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” I had a mother in law from hell…she didn’t buy a thing for her grandkids and could hae cared less. I understand about the dressy dresses but…humor her.
Were people not raised with basic manners? Grandma is buying these cute little things because she thinks they will look adorable on her. Isn’t is just basic decency to at least give her a picture? Growing up if I was given clothes I always wore them at least once where the gifter could see it, if they lived too far away we sent a picture.
Returning gifts for something else is rude, especially without mentioning it to the gift giver. Part of the joy in buying for other people is you don’t have to focus on the practicality of needs. Providing basics isn’t your job. If her need stretches beyond what you as her mom can provide why not just mention to Grandma “Her birthday is coming up and if you were planning to get her something pajamas would really help out. She needs them”.
Grandma realizes the only way she will see the clothes is if she keeps them at her house. Not sure where the problem with that is as long as she is returning everything you packed.
As a Mommom I think her feelings are hurt.She probably mistook returning the fancy clothes for practical clothing as you didn’t like her choice/taste possibly.Also,she may feel unappreciated when not seeing her grandchild in the clothing she bought.Maybe it’s her way of “helping” support your child.One more thing go by yourself and talk to her even if she doesn’t respond.Make it short & sweet.You can always send her pics on the days your child wears the clothing she bought to reaffirm her efforts are appreciated.Good luck
1 Like
I have a grandchild and we do wish to see them in the clothes that we buy. Of course it’s not law or anything lol but just dress her in those clothes before you go IF your daughter wants to. My daughter loved dressing up when she was little and if yours is the same way, it’s an easy fix. It’s also simple to dress her up in those clothes and take a picture and send it to her grandma for her to see.
1 Like
My granddaughter lives with me and I buy all her clothes lol
2 Likes
Idk about her needing to see her in the clothes…but it is rude as hell to return a gift and get what you want for her instead. I’d be pissed too. If she needed pjs you should have bought them and still kept grandmas gift. It seems ungrateful and rude
Wow , such comments !
Be thankful she buys your kid clothes !
Put the clothes on the child to see her grandma who wants to see her dressed up !
So what if it’s church clothes ? Kids love to play dress up anyway !
Especially girls !
You buy the jammies and let the grandma enjoy her grand daughter in the clothes of her choice .
Clothes should not cause such discord in families ; however it appears that bitterness is trying to find a place to squeeze in to mess up what could be a good relationship.
Taking clothes back to exchange for something YOU want your kid to have is never a good idea !
I learned the hard way -
I did this once when my kids were young and it has been an issue for 20+ years . It was hurtful to the aunt who bought the clothes . I didn’t think it through this way about her feelings 
I wish I had done things differently. After all relationships and people are FAR more important than stuff any day !
Try to mend the relationship now before it gets further out of hand !
1 Like
Taking back a gift to buy something else most defiantly bothers some people, which I understand. They put time, effort and money into buying it. I understand why you returned the dresses and traded, but that probably felt like a slap in the face to her. Best if you want a relationship with your MIL, is to let it all go. Stop thinking about it, let things die down. It really doesnt matter who is right and who is wrong when it involves a child, they are innocent but feuds like this drag them in.
2 Likes
TELL THEM NOT TO BUY THE CHILD CLOTHES. PERIOD.
If they want to buy the child something, buy toys or experiences (zoo, kids shows, children’s museum, ect).
2 Likes
I’m. Would. Ignore. Her. Remarks. And. Dress. My daughter. The. Way. U want. I. Would. Not worry
1 Like
My mom and my my mil have both bought my daughter clothes. And yes they would like to see her in them but they get her things that fit, weather and all, but if they don’t then they don’t care and they don’t do this jealousy act with each other. I think his ma is just looking to start drama. She was waiting for a reason and she found a pathetic one. I’m sorry your dealing with this but I think this whole thing is ridiculous.
he’s your son, not your boyfriend @ the MIL. lol I can’t stand the “always sides with his mom”. She sounds petty, and he sounds like he won’t stand up for himself/you/your relationship to her. I don’t like it a bit and even if you shouldn’t have returned the dresses, an apology should literally be enough to leave this in the past. If she can’t, she is wack and he should stand up for your family.
3 Likes
I mean you’re both right tbh. Your husband is right when he says that a lot of people buy clothes for kids hoping to get to see them in it. And you have to put your daughters needs first. As a grandparents she should be happy that her granddaughter is dressed and that you made the right decision for her in getting her some pajamas instead of having her keep clothes she may never wear
1 Like
I’m not a grandma, but aI do have five kids with a grandma. Grandmas get so excited over their grandchildren. They can be over the top at times. It’s likely that she was just a little hurt. Instead of exchanging clothing, just mention that you love the cute outfits, but you could really use some pajamas. I think she just wants to help. She just needs a little direction.
2 Likes
Did you talk to her about returning them to get things that your daughter needed? she may be upset that she bought fancy dresses that got returned for pj’s that she may have gladly picked up if she had known.
2 Likes
I would just be grateful she’s loved and thought of and someone buys her clothes. My mother in law always buys my kids things that they need and sometimes clothes they wouldn’t wear. My daughter hates dresses it’s just who she is so if she buys her a dress I don’t fight her to wear it.
1 Like
I dont except gifts with strings attached that’s not a gift its a brib. I agree with u and that mil can fly a kit
1 Like
Good grief, say thank you and put the kid in it and take a picture and send it to the gramma saying thank you. Hang it up and never look at it again if YOU don’t like it! 
not worth the drama
6 Likes
When I buy my grandkids clothes i love to see them wear them. Just like if they get a to i love to see them playing with them even if it’s a picture. I don’t get up set if it doesn’t happen but if some one gifts me something I make a point to wear it at least once when I’m around them so they know I am enjoying their gift
1 Like
Honestly why isn’t grandma asking you what she needs clothing wise. My mom does this- she always asks do they need socks, jammies what do they NEED and so my mom gets the clothing items my kids can REALLY use. It seems like your MIL has issues within herself if she gets furious over items your mom bought. Who cares who bought it. The child is clothed and that’s what’s important. Now, I do take pictures of my kids and tag people who bought them on Facebook or say thanks grandma for the outfit I look cute. I will also dress them in the clothes for a family function however, I’m not putting my kids in fancy, expensive, perfect clothes for a backyard BBQ. You already know the clothes will be dirty and ruined. Honestly, I would stop doing over night stays and all that. If she can’t respect you and is going to feel some type of way it’s probably not worth the drama of over night sleep overs. As she gets older she’ll be telling your daughter “mommy doesn’t like my stuff” and then puts your kid in a position to side with her or you. It sounds like you have been gracious for the gifts but since grandma doesn’t have complete control she’s spiraling. Her name calling and things is a little much. I would keep my distance.
2 Likes
She’s petty. You can’t fix that. Im sorry but you have the right to return anything someone gives your child as a gift especially some fancy dresses when she needed pjs. That’s crazy! Your husband should be defending you! Good luck
4 Likes
I’ve dealt with this with several family members. If you are wanting to renew the relationship, be the bigger person, and apologize for her feelings being hurt. Address that sometimes its hard for you to justify such a fancy outfit for a day visit, and maybe in the future, grandma could buy more practical outfits. That you didn’t wish to hurt her feelings, and you didn’t know how to address it in the past.
If you don’t really care, just ignore her and move on. You are right. Gifts should be bought no strings attached. I understand wanting to see the kids in outfits you purchase, but sometimes it’s just not always plausible. Case in point. I always tell people the next size up for my kids. It never fails they hit a growth spurt if I don’t, and then someone has to have a tantrum because their feelings were hurt.
Now we have an issue with my 7 year old being sensitive about her size, and she literally cried begging me to not share her size for clothes because certain family were cruel.
Someone will always be unhappy. 
Let gma see the child in the clothes she buys her. My mil has bought my girls beautiful dresses they’ve actually only worn a couple times when seeing her. It’s really not a huge deal and def not worth ending a relationship over. Imo it is a waste of my mil money but it makes her happy so that’s what matters… change your thinking and have a happy family
Both of my parents as well as both of my husband’s parents were deceased before our children were born. Honestly, I would love to have your problem.
I don’t think it bothered them too much until you took clothes back tho. You could’ve brought the pajamas another way or your husband could’ve instead of returning beautiful dresses that were a gift. Y’all need communication skills
I have a granddaughter I buy clothes for. We love to see them wear them. I just love spoiling my granddaughter 
and I am so happy when her mother lets her wear them
Would it have killed u to put the dress on her to visit Grandma?
3 Likes
You took back the nice dresses that she bought for her, which takes time, thought and money. If they were nice I’m sure they probably cost a pretty penny. I don’t understand how you could think that taking back clothes like that wouldn’t offend someone… That’s like a slap in the face.
1 Like
I would talk to her about it. If everyone knows the expectations and are on the same page you can avoid a lot of hurt feelings! Is it your “job” to do this? Not necessarily but it will help guide you through the constant bs and allow everyone to navigate the situation without hurt feelings and snide remarks! I’m sure she will be less than receptive to the conversation but start with apologizing for not understanding her expectations because SHE never voiced them and you never had anyone essentially use gifts as a hostage situation. Tell her you’d like to work out the situation so there are no longer feelings of resentment because you’ve been just a hurt by her actions and remarks as she’s been by you exchanging dresses for pajamas that were absolutely needed!
I would say every time she gets an outfit put her in it and take a bunch of pictures to send to her even if it’s a little too big or a little too snug and try to dress her the clothes that were bought for her when she goes there how often does she go?
I think I would send hubby back to his mother Petty people
10 Likes
So my mom buys clothes for my two girls and my step son all the time and she literally has no problem with me returning it for something they need or like better. She understands her clothing choice might not be what I want my kids in or what they want to wear so she always gives me the receipt just in case. As for your husband. You and your daughter are his new immediate family. He made that choice when you got married and had that baby so he needs to step up to his mother and out her in her place. He should never let her disrespect the mother of his child. That’s a weak man in my eyes.
2 Likes
Because you emphasized so much that you always dress your daughter in the clothes grandma gave to her, I find it hard to believe you didn’t know that was part of the deal. Grandma loves your daughter and was hurt by your returning the dresses. You should have talked with her and asked her if she’d mind if you returned the dresses for the PJ’S. That would put the ball in her court. My guess is that she would have just bought the pj’s too.
2 Likes
It was something you didn’t pay for. Unfortunately grandmother’s are like that. I would’ve dressed her in it once, stuck it in the back of the closet, and once she reasonably would’ve outgrown it, sell it.
True gifts don’t come with strings. I’ve dealt with a similar issue before. I simply have told the person buying the clothing that while we greatly appreciate the thought, not all clothing is appropriate for everyday wear. I’ve taken dresses back & exchanged for shoes. YOU are the parents, and you have no obligation to anyone but yourselves & your child. But if you & your partner aren’t on the same page, that can be devastating to feel like you’re always the odd man out. Talk to your partner & explain what a United front means to you - he may not always agree with you, but his support is paramount.
2 Likes
This isn’t with all grandma’s, sounds like you have a monster in law. If my dad waited for my kids to wear the clothes he bought it would be years because he never listened to me about their sizes and bought clothes 2yrs too big
1 Like
I guess I don’t see the big deal.
They are dresses. Who cares if they are impractical?
Hubs is right, she buys them to be like “awwwww” when she sees her in them. That’s sweet.
You sound very … ungrateful. Be grateful! Yes gifts should be given with no “strings” but come on …, the only strings here are getting tell your daughter “you look so cute!” Clearly hurt her feelings, apologize and move forward.
7 Likes
I only read halfway through your post and stopped at the point where you exchanged a gift that a grandmother had given her grandchild for something that she desperately needed… pajamas. I personally feel that is a slap in the face. It was a gift to her. Not yours to exchange. You are the parent and if your child so desperately needed PJ’s then you as the parent were suppose to buy out of your own pocket. It is your child and your responsibility. The way you also emphasise that it is your husband’s mother and not yours, may give away some clues that there are u resolved issues between the two of you and I think you need to address it because thìs whole garment thing will drag your child into the middle and cause unnecessary conflict between everyone.
My mother buys clothes and I make a point of it that the children wear it whenever we see her or the kids go for a visit. My fiancee’ s mother gives my kids hand me downs from his kids (they are older than my kids) and I do the same as I do with my mom. It is all about being greatfull. And showing it.
She doesn’t owe your child anything. She gives out of the kindness of her heart. Appreciate anything positive that anyone does for your child. If you weren’t here tomorrow, those people will still love your child and she will be taken care of through love.
6 Likes
I am a grandmother and when I buy clothes for my grandson it is not because I expect to see him in it. I think this is an individual thing and not something all grandparents expect.
1 Like
As a grandmother, I always ask what the children need(shoes, socks, clothing, jackets, ect). I have been fortunate enough to live close enough to know the routine and what is needed. When my children were small both my mother and mother-in-law would purchase clothing that I made sure they got a picture of the children in, if they were not going to be able to see the item on the children(we didn’t live near them for a long time 
).
2 Likes
It seems like you are the one that set the bar so high in regards to dressing her in what grandma bought to go visit her. I would have just sent a picture of her in it when she did wear it, and whatever she wore to grandmas would have been sufficient. I think you are wrong for returning gifts, I would have just kept the dresses hanging till she outgrew them and then got rid of them. What you did was practical and definitely made sense but it’s better to be safe than sorry if you don’t truly know the person.
1 Like
I buy a lot of clothes for my granddaughter I always buy on season clothes in her size or one size up. I bought her a sweat suit for winter that my daughter loves. If my daughter has a problem with anything I buy she has every right to take it back. If I were you I would have kept one of the fancy dresses and exchanged the other after trying it on my child tags tucked in pic taken to prove that she did wear it
1 Like
If I still had my grandma around to buy my daughter ugly sweaters and jumpers, she’d still practically live in them. Call grandma more. Go see her more. Send pics of that little girl in the dresses more. Be more thankful she’s still here.
I buy clothes for my great granddaughter but don’t expect to see her wearing them all the time! I buy them to help out the parents she grows out of clothes fast and I enjoy shopping for clothes. I think grama is being ridiculous
1 Like
She sounds very very toxic. I would just let her keep the stuff there at her house like you have. And if she throws these temper tantrums about the other grandparents I would say tell her as nice as possible that the world doesn’t revolve around ONLY one set of grandparents. (Now if it was me I would be that woman that says she is MY child I will do what I want). Your doing great too dont let her make you feel obligated to do anything. As far as your husband well once your daughter is in school I would look into getting a job and starting to save money and get out cause if he sides with his mother now and she only 5 it is just going to get worce. Just my opinion.
2 Likes
Figure something out. Have a group meeting. Move forward. The relationship your daughter has with her entire extended family is at strong risk.
Throw it straight in trash. And it’s resolved.
1 Like
If its impractical to dress her in them when she comes over then maybe take pictures and videos. That way she can still see her in them even if it’s not in person. I have always been the same way but it comes to a point that its ridiculous to dress them in these huge dresses when they are going to just be uncomfortable 
so I started doing a “photoshoot” with my daughter and the dresses her granny bought her. Some come out really good so I print and fram them for granny and she loves it.
1 Like
The simple fact this is your child… The mother in law is NOT raising this child. Maybe grandma should call mom and ASK what the daughter needs, not just what grandma wants to see her in. A necessity is far more important than a frilly dress. My one question does mother in law ever make an attempt to come to your house and have your daughter try on her clothes in front of her? Why do you have to be responsible for something she wants to see? My mother in law is so different. She asks what my son needs and then she buys somethings she wants to see him in, but she comes over and takes pics herself. She lives 2 hours away. Some mother in laws you just cant please no matter what you do. <---- my ex mother in law. You do what you feel is right for your child. Hubby should be sticking up for you too. How would he feel if your mom treated him like that?
1 Like
My mom always buys our 4 kids clothes, she doesn’t expect to see them in them just wants them to make sure they fit nice. If they don’t like them or its not their style she says return them and get them what they want and or need. Grandma and grandpa are being petty!
3 Likes
One. Your husband needs to get his balls back from his mother. The fact that he is not supporting you and your point of view is crap. And IF he actually has a problem. He should discuss it with you, not make you to be the bad guy.
Two. A gift is a gift, what the giftee does with it is up to them. If its not a gift and is loaned property (think Snow Shovel vs a Cup of Sugar), she needs to tell you that. Just because someone “put thought, time and money” into something does not mean it is now your responsibility to validate them. Once a thank you is given (possibly a thank you card/note depending on size) that is the end of their involvement in the item.
1 Like
She raised her kid(s).
This one is yours, not hers.
She’s overstepping in my unasked opinion.
2 Likes
Grandma needs to grow up and get over it
2 Likes
I’m a grandmother and it doesn’t bother me in the least If my girls do this. And I wouldn’t make such a big deal about it id they did take something back I had bought. But if they needed pajamas I would of got them too. Just let me know what they need at the time
2 Likes
First off, I think you’re wrong for returning the dresses. Because A.) There’s a money difference in two dresses and a pair of pajamas. I’m willing to bet you didn’t give the difference back to Grandma, but instead you pocketed it. B.) The gift was for your daughter, not for you. It’s not Grandma’s job to buy what YOUR child needs. C.) What’s so difficult about just putting her in the dresses and sending a picture or two?
Now, on the flip side- A.) I’ve never met a Grandma who never asked a mother what SHE needs. B.) She sounds like a real B!tch, and if I were you, I would’ve put her in her place the moment she said some negative crap about me, especially if it was in front of my children. And C.) If he is a Momma’s Boy, RUN!!! Because you’re literally having to compete with the Mother In Law, and if you don’t stand up for yourself, then there is no real relationship.
Returning 2 extravagant dresses for one pajamas. I would be mad too. Really sounds like you’re kinda lying.
1 Like
When I buy my grand babies clothes, I would hope to see them in it one day but I would not be angry. If my babies need pajamas, I would insist they return and get them or I would gladly buy some. The only way to fix it is to do what she wants or you will continue to have this problem.
1 Like
Nah it’s your kid she doesn’t get to say what you do or don’t put her in. If you put her in the outfit that’s great but it’s not a requirement. You tried to make a big effort to dress her in the outfits when visiting. The key words “never” and the fact that she is making a huge deal and not even appreciating the effort you previously put in shows that her intentions were not pure from the get go. If I was a grandma I would want my grandkids to have whatever was needed not just be dressed up for my enjoyment. Be careful with grandmas like that they put themselves above even the child set boundaries early on and make sure your husband gets why you and him need to be a team when it comes to kiddo.
I’m a grandma and I would be ok with my daughter returning things for something more practical for my grandson. Or for whatever she needed at the time for him and couldn’t afford.
I think the grandma is making a big deal for nothing.
3 Likes
I let my kids dress themselves at that age but when they were younger, I would dress them in the clothes they bought if we were going there. But if my kid wanted to wear the dress to grandma’s, she can. I didn’t pay for it 
So who cares the occasion. If it gets dirty and ruined, oh well, I didn’t pay for it and I’m not “obligated” to put it back on her. Win, win. I wouldn’t have returned it though but just bought what my kids needed.
1 Like
My oldest sons grandmother keeps everything she buys him. Whatever he gets for Christmas or just because we never see. I’ve never asked for any of it except his Xbox one that she didn’t buy (His aunt did). If she wants to see your grand daughter in certain items, tell her to keep them at her house and hope they fit 
when my oldest son outgrows his stuff, his grandmother sends it to my house for my youngest. I don’t see why her grandmother is having a fit. Maybe she should ask what your daughter needs if it means that much. My sons grandmother does for birthdays but that’s just my opinion
So I’m in complete awe that people are calling the OP “petty” and other words.
She’s a first time mom. Gifts do NOT have strings attached. No one is obligated to call and say “hey, this stuff you bought doesn’t fit the kids any longer… I’m going to trade it in for needed items.” Literally not one person I know does that.
You all are assuming she baits her MIL by telling her the clothes are from her parents. Y’all do know that there are birthday parties and others where gifts are exchanged in a group? Assuming only does one thing.
Her MIL has called her names for years over 2 dresses, her husband allows this behavior, and she came asking how to mend the relationship.
Petty where?
2 Likes
Idk, my mom sometimes comments that she never sees the kids in things she buys, but that’s because they get put into the daily reg lineup of clothing and not kept away special. I let the kids enjoy them 
The problem here is more than exchanging clothes but, apologizing for any unintended offense and then continueing to be kind in spite of how she responds would mean a lot to your kids.
1 Like
Tammy Martin you know it would hurt your feelings if Richard didn’t dress the kids n clothes you bought
I buy clothes for my two greatgranddaughters. And I tell them if you need something else, take these back and get what you need.
2 Likes
As a grandma it would be nice to see the child in clothing I purchased but not the end of the world if I don’t.
1 Like
Reasons clothes should not be gifts 
I’m a grandmother and great grandma, when I buy my grandkids clothes I let the parents decide when the kids wear them, before I buy them the fancy dresses I ask them If it’s ok.but that’s just how I do it.
2 Likes
Your husbands family is messed up- all of them. I am so sorry you married in to that toxic environment…especially for your child- I think they forget a child is involved here- everything seems so material. Boundaries need to be set. You are letting them control you and your child. This is so unhealthy. (Might not be a popular opinion, but…)
1 Like
You don’t fix it! I’m sorry, but it’s not worth it. She will never change, and you don’t need to deal with her toxic nature.
I buy these clothes because I think it’s cute. I like to see her wear it. Some of these clothes I paid alot for.
1 Like
Wear the clothes. It won’t hurt her. Maybe she’ll learn she’s not entitled to everything she wants. We should do everything we can to end this crazy entitlement society that has been created.
1 Like
I’m a grandma, I buy stuff for my grandson and I enjoy seeing him in stuff I bought. But I would never demand my daughter dress him in clothes I bought or act like a brat over it. They’re clothes!
Put your foot down with your husband - he’s supposed to back you up and not allow his mother to treat you this way
Stand up for yourself and tell that dragon to treat you with respect if she expects to see YOUR daughter again
2 Likes
How about place child in clothing get her or his Pic taken and send them in a letter to granny? Then they have wore it
1 Like
Put the dress on take a picture to send to gma saying thank you and then do what is best for you and your family.
2 Likes
No this is ridiculous and the fact that you’re significant other is not at least standing up for you is a problem. My kids have 3 grandmothers, and 3 great grandmothers and none of them has ever expected that.
Its time for you to let her know that it is your daughter and you will do what you see fit. I’d flat out let her know that it is unacceptable and if she gets shitty and treats you shitty, let her know until she gets her act together and acts like an adult that she will not be seeing her granddaughter. Remember, she’s creating toxicity. Your daughter will sense that. Your daughter may even start treating you like she does if she sees or hears it happening. Stand up for yourself.
Well I am a Grammie. If I buy specific clothes for specific occasions than I expect to see the kiddos in them. I think it is a generational thing as my grandparents bought specific clothes for specific occasions…and in all honesty, I would feel a bit hurt if the parents returned the gifts I chose. But that is just me and that thought is probably wrong for today’s parents:rofl:
Buy her a stray jacket and gift it to her by her grandchildren… then throw it in her face too… idk what her age is (I became a young mom and I’m also a young grandmother). I spoil my grandkids, but respect the boundaries of what their taste and likes are too… if they already have it or don’t like it, “go with ur mom to exchange it” and get what you want.
1 Like
It’s appropriate to do what your hubs says, but it’s also appropriate to not let the clothes rot bc they’re not worn.
You have options, take pics of her with gma in the clothes so if she comments, show her the pics. If it’s something not needed, throw it on her for dress up or a visit & if it’s ruined, oh well. Or, return it for needed clothes.
I’d never buy anything super fancy just to give bc most of the time it’s never worn. 
My ex’s mom & my mom & my step mom, have sent my son clothing his whole life… never with the expectation that he only wrote the stuff they sent
It’s clothes ffs not really worth the drama take pictures of her in the clothes and give to the grandma
1 Like
did you let her know your daughter needed pj’s, not another dress. Maybe you should suggest to her, you are very happy with her buying her clothes, but would she mind asking first if there was anything she needed?? ( they always need socks, panties and other clothes) GOOD LUCK, I AM VERY IMPRESSED WITH THE WAY YOU HANDLED THIS LADY!!
It would hurt my moms feelings if she bought something for my daughter and I returned it for pj’s but on the other hand if your daughter needed something and you didn’t have it she should understand that. If you’ve already apologized for hurting her feelings and she refuses to move on then there’s nothing you can do
You could always just take a picture of her wearing it… But keep the tags on.
My daughter would wear a fancy dress every day if allowed to 
but she strips down when she has to pee and is wearing one… So. Its reserved for weekends only now that shes in school.
Id day leave it up to your daughter. Ask if she likes it. If she does, pop it on. Have a fancy tea party. Go take some photos in the woods or a garden. Make it special.
Otherwise… If you need pjs and cant fund that, for sure, return and grab pjs. I know for sure my mom wouldnt mind if I needed pjs, and was sent a dress, she would say return it and get what you need. But i would be battling my personal feeling of obligation to keep it lol
2 Likes
I return gifts my daughter gets for other things she needs all the time I just don’t tell the gifter about it because it may hurt their feelings.
Kids clothes can be hard to shop for if you don’t know the right size to get. Also don’t need 10 sweaters, when I only have two sets of PJ’S, etc. And you can only have so many toys before going crazy.
Many agree with you , and many good ideas. However no matter the "rule " for others , your husband’s grandmother feels her way , and there is no changing her mind . If you want to mend relationship with that side of family you would need to sit down , explain you truly didn’t know that you hurt their feelings and ask forgiveness. At this point it doesn’t matter who is right, and they are not going to change. Sometimes we just have to swallow it , say sorry, and try to get past it.
1 Like
One way to solve that attitude is to have your daughter try on the clothes take pictures add from grandma name send the pictures to grandma right away. Another thing your can do is talk with the grandma apologize for selling the gift explain that your daughter needed pajamas more and maybe tell her you appreciate the clothing gifts but would rather have her ask about what is needed before she buys a lot of fancy dresses.
I wouldn’t… I’ve gotten plenty of clothes from family members that I never put my son in and now I have a daughter, and I will be the same way. You don’t have to dress your child up in things, especially if it’s more of a special occasion outfit, that really has no place outside of special occasions. Now if your daughter wants to wear them, that I’d a different story.
1 Like
My parents whom are my daughters grandparents buy her tons of clothes and never expect her to wear them all the time she wears what I put her in and that’s that. Also they get my approval for any clothing before buying so we are all on the same page. Your husband’s family is not in charge here you are and you need to make it clear
You are rt in buy my grandkids stuff all the time I exspected them to use my gifts wisely so if they get returned and they get something else my bad becouse you should Al says consult mom on outfits and what they need.
If they are calling you anything with the word ‘nasty’ in the sentence, I would get real blunt and say “Gifts are appreciated, but lets be realistic…my child is not a doll. If you actually cared, you would ask me what she NEEDS. Not what YOU want her to be dressed in for one occasion. Also, I do not appreciate or tolerate ANY form of disrespect.
4 Likes
Always take photos of her wearing the dress. Hide the tag in the back. Then return them for what she needs.
Personally you are not in the wrong. The grandma shouldn’t be controlling. It also seems strange that your husband isn’t being more supportive and being a mediator to help with the drama. May be everyone needs to sit down and talk about this for the best interest of the child
Been there and it doesn’t get better. You just learn to live with and around it.