Your kids r lucky to have a gma that loves them n thinks of tbem…i try to buy clothes or anything to help with my grand kids…i like sales…id love to see tbe lids reactions to tbeir clothese…usually they r happy and atleadt tbey get the idea grandma lives them n thlught of them…grandmas just want to help with grandkids…the pics are bonuses but tbe feeling a grandma gets is priceless…if the kids doesnt lime tbe clothes then thats fine just let gma know…there is a time that i stop buying clothes cause kids have their likes n dislikes but if u can make a grandma happy to see her gr child happy please do that…you never know how long her grandma will be alive…
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Iam a great grandma if I buy them something and they need something else that’s fine Iam not a Petty person like that
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This is in the grandma rules book. Get over it granny.
This just seems silly to me…For grandma to get that upset over children’s clothing, and to start conflict over it with you.
On the other hand does she ever ask what your daughter needs for clothing? Jeans, jackets, jammies- kids need practical clothing more than dresses. I would address that with her, but honestly she should know that as well.
Also, people/family have bought my girls clothing that either A I would never dress them in and return for something they will wear or B return clothing that doesn’t fit or is impractical, and nobody has mentioned that they didn’t see the girls in the clothing or thrown a fir about it. It’s something silly to get so worked up about.
Someday grandma won’t be with you anymore, enjoy the time you have, don’t bicker over petty stuff
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Gift should never come with conditions, if they do, is it truly a gift. If she ever buys clothes again, put the child in them and take a picture and then do as you please with the clothes. She is being petty and your husband is wrong for not supporting you and controlling his mom.
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My daughter wears fancy dresses to dig in the dirt
I am a
Mommom if I buy clothes that either don’t fit or the grandkids don’t like I don’t mind if they are returned but my DIL will always tell me she is returning it and why .
Both you and Grandma need to lighten up.
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Your mother in law is a bitch. Really all there is to it
Gifts are gifts and belong to the person they were given to, if I needed to take them back to get what they needed I would do so. You do not give gifts with rules or expectations, if you do then don’t give gifts.
Also let anyone get nasty or make a snide remark because I will call a B out, I don’t care how old you are I don’t care who’s mom or grandma you are, show respect or you will not recive respect. I hate the excuse they are old and that’s just how they are
Being old does not give you licence to be rude, even if you get your feelings hurt. Talk to them like adults and keep your snide remarks to yourself.
I’m not a grandma but an auntie right now. I buy my adorable nephews clothes as often as I can. My sister in law will often times put them in that clothing so I can see it when I’m there. It’s a beautiful gesture but not at all required in my book. I didn’t buy them for my viewing pleasure. I bought them so they could use them as jammies and play shirts as whatever the hell she wants. If she needed to return them and got them something else they needed I don’t give a good God damn. Do you sis. The money spent went towards their well being which was the intention from the getgo. I expect the same from her when she buy my boys clothes.
I think couples really should discuss the traditions and expectations of inlaws with the family if that’s a possibility so everyone’s intentions are clear before feelings get involved. I get that that’s not always an option. At the end of the day it’s weird to assume someone is automatically conspiring against you or trying to undermine you because you don’t see the clothes you bought.
Just send her a picture when she’s in the clothes you give her.
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This is so stupid and petty. I have fought with my mil about this for buying my kids things then telling them they have to keep it at her house. Uh no you can’t get someone a gift and then tell them how to use it.
Stop letting someone else stress you out. You did not marry her and your vows were not to keep her happy. Let your husband deal with her and be unbothered
Anytime I read anything like this I appreciate my mother in law (that I am already super grateful for as couldn’t get better even if had a program that could create one) but, you dress your kids weather appropriate and comfortable. If the clothes she get her are suitable you dress her, not only to her place but in general, if they are not that you politely tell that these won’t be good for any reason you might have. And if they don’t understand it’s just the person they are, you can’t change them 
Better still just ask what the kids really need . That’s what I do. You can still buy something special but clothes are pricey.so if you want to help out do it wisely.
I always made sure to put my daughter in the clothes my parents or MIL bought for her. But if it’s causing issues then your MIL needs to be told to just no buy her clothes anymore. She sounds childish and petty
Put the baby in grandma’s dress/outfit, snap a few pictures, send to grandma, then if needed return 
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Lol when my mom buys clothes for my daughter she immediately forgets exactly what she got until I point it out that it was something she bought. Point being she never expects to see it again because although we see her every week, it’s not everyday she gets stuff for her grandchild it’s not for show…
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I dress her up take a pic send it them redress in practical clothes
Talk to the grandmom say do you mind if I return and get something else. Some girls don’t put the clothes on the kids because they don’t like the mother in law. Being nice to one another helps a lot. Let her know you appreciate her help. And let her know what you need. Us granny’s love our grandkids and we want to be loved back.
I don’t care if kids other than my own wear the clothes I bought them and always include a receipt for exchanges if necessary. That being said I don’t really get clothes that can’t can’t worn on a daily basis to people with kids and tend to go for the far more practical t shirts and shorts/pants when getting clothes for kids
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You care WAY too much about a seemingly, whiney and rude lady. And your husband siding w her always sounds like a prob.
Just tell grandma that no matter what she give, it benefits your daughter and you are very grateful. And u appreciate she loves to spoil the child.
You’re not obligated to put your child in the clothes, they are a gift and gifts don’t come with strings attached…if I were you I’d explain to Grandma that her behaviour is unacceptable and you won’t have your child around anyone that disrespects you, then stop visiting
Grandma is being a jerk about it. Fancy dresses are for holidays so exchanging them was reasonable. If she buys her dresses again video your daughter playing in said dress/outfit and send it to her.
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I mean. Idk why you only have her wear the clothes when only visiting grandma. My girls wear clothes that were bought for her from anyone anytime. No specific time. Also, my girl wears fancy Easter/church dresses all the time since she was 3yo (her choice) cause she loved them… just because they look that way doesn’t mean they can’t wear them whenever. That said, grandma should not be expecting that the clothes worn just because she bought them or be upset you returned clothes for something more important. You’re both being petty over stupid stuff.
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I am a great grandmother but I agree with you
What a bunch of drama queens.
That’s ridiculous. & actually I’ve had something similar happen & now I jus don’t do any of it. I don’t have the time or energy for that kind of pressure. & most the time I don’t even like the outfits anyways. But if they are gonna all act like children about it. 
Tell her to eff off what kindof guilt tripping bs is that 
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I admire any grandmother that takes the time to buy clothing for her grandchildren. I’m more of, “Here’s some money buy whatever you and they want!” Or before I do buy, I ask what they want me to look for and size.
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Husband is the problem. Sounds like he’s married to his mother. If the gifts have strings attached I would tell her you are no longer comfortable accepting gifts from her. Or, better yet, your “husband” needs to tell her.
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Ma’am Pajamas are like $5/$10 for kids at Walmart
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Just my opinion: you and your mother in law are so busy arguing over what your daughter wears, but have either of you stopped to ask your daughter what she wanted to wear?
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I don’t see why you are making a thing of this, I went through the same thing with my mother in law telling me, she’d like to see my daughter in clothes she buys for her, so I make sure my daughter wears things she bought. Also, I wouldn’t return anything someone bought for my daughter, unless the size was too small (to get a bigger size) or something was wrong with it. Although, I have an amazing relationship with my mother in law!
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Young one - this could be either a generational or cultural clash - 
- the only way to settle it is communication with her. She may not budge because she’s set in her ways- but at least you tried. Just remember kiddo she ( Grandma) is a precious gift a lot other people don’t get. Knowing who she is - remember to sweetie- it takes a village to raise a child.
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This has a lot to do with finances. I do not like to be reliant upon financial gifts from others to feed and clothe my children. As a single woman I worked bought a house and a sports car. I get married and I have to go to goodwill. The child needs things and grandma has money. I would use the gifts too . I would be waiting for grandma even send her kisses. Sometimes she sees the dress sometimes she doesn’t.
As a grandma, I have purchased uncountable amount of clothes for my 2 grandchidren. They have come to spend the weekend with me, showing up in stained, ratty clothes and shoes. It breaks my heart to see them like this, even if they are aren’t old enough to know the difference. So I shop for them ALL THE TIME. When they come visit I always return them to their parents dressed in new clothes and shoes. I’ve not asked, but I sure hope their parents aren’t offended when I do this. Also, I buy their school clothes in the fall. I just want to make sure both of them are dressed appropriately for whatever reason. I buy Easter clothes. I buy clothes for pictures with Santa. I do this 1, outta the kindness of my heart. 2, the kids enjoy wear clothes that have stuff on them, Frozen, or Ninja turtles. 3, to help out the parents who can’t afford it financially. 4, who knows how long I’ll be around, it’s a grandma’s job to spoil them. Don’t assume grandma is trying to be mean. Yes, I bet if you had told grandma about the pajamas, she would have stopped what she was doing and gone shopping RIGHT NOW. I wish you and your kids well and to grandma: You go gurl!
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Oh sweetie you can’t fix toxic. I have a horrible mother in law and I cut her completely off. If your husband doesnt like it he can leave. He is supposed to defend you with her and anyone else. The family you create is way more important than the one you come from. Try to talk to her and explain how toxic she is being and explain that if her behavior doesnt change she will no longer be allowed around your child. That is your child not hers and if she disrespect you then shes disrespecting your child
I would definitely have her wear the dresses
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I can’t say that my in-laws have ever thrown a fit over seeing my kids in cloths they purchased …. That’s kinda strange to me. They are just happy to see the kids …. people are weird
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I would want the child to be able to use what I bought, so taking it back to get what daughter needs is a good idea
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Don’t accept the dresses tell them I Love dress ing MY Daughter. It’s Grandmas fit don’t buy into it. And if anyone bad mouths you stop the visits your kid will have fear and irritation like you , and she does not need that. And by the way your husband is another stupid pawn by his Mommy. He should stand by you and tell Mama butt out .Sign me Old Grandma
First of all. Shame on your husband for not having your back. Tell him he is in charge of ALL clothing when visiting his folks. Take yourself out of the equation. If he won’t have your back, don’t give him a reason to need too. Second. Wait until the chaos of two children takes over. I’m happy if my kids have clean clothes on. Seriously. They need to prioritize.
If that doesn’t work. Put her in those fancy dresses and make mudd pies at grandmas. WTH is she thinking. Any parent with any common sense knows what is appropriate and what is not. Jeans and a tshirt for mudd pies. Not fancy dress. MIL obviously has no clue.
Story time. One of my kiddos baby mammas sent her daughter in a fancy pair of dress boots. We had just bought shoes and cowboy boots for her. But that’s not what we got back. So, dirt biking in fancy boots it was. They were destroyed. We even said something about it before hand and we’re told that the fancy boots were just fine. We live on a hobby farm. Spend lots of time in the woods and on the racetrack. We had spares, but kiddo likes them and brought them to moms. It’s not healthy for kids to be caught in the immature adult issues. Your MIL needs to grow up.
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It was a gift for your daughter, you dont exchange it for something else. If she needed pijamas, you get your own money and buy her pijamas. It was very rude of you to do that, shes offended by you. And i would be too.
My kids grandparents always give us the receipts incase we need to return clothes for something else they will wear or bigger sizes. I don’t always dress them in the clothes when we see them but if they wear it I do send them a picture cause it makes them happy. My boyfriends mom passed away and I kept an outfit she bought each kid also to make something with
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Personally. I find it rude to return gifts without a very good reason.
My had surgery and was casted on both legs, his left arm, and around his chest. All the 3-6mo clothes we had were useless. So we exchanged them for 6-9 month.
That said…i do feel what you did was kind of rude.
Fancy dressed have a place. Holidays. Special occasions.
Things like that.
They cost a ton more than jammies. If you keep them in good condition you can get some money back through consignment or Facebook yard sale type pages.
I’d have bought my child jammies on my own. Kept the dresses. Used them for special occasions and made sure to get some good pics to send to grandma.
Sounds like your husband is married to his mother. You have every right to be agitated.
It is dumb, but I agree with your husband. Especially, if it is something fancy. My grandma used to make me these super fancy dresses, with gloves and hats and the whole nine yards. I can remember wearing them to play in the yard. It made my grandma so happy to see me in those dresses. It was just a nice thing to do and didn’t cost my parents anything.
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Wow😳
First off, gifts like clothing shouldnt be returned. Unless they are small for said child.
Second. You should have been able to go buy your child their needs instead of returning gifts. Who the fck cares if it was a church going easter type dress. Fck if my girl wants to use the christmas dress in july, I dont care. I could give half a half of a damn what others think are “in style” or “in season”.
3rd. Have a serious sit down and talk with your man. Gifts should never come with strings attached.
It is kind of rude to exchange them without saying anything. Just a quick, “Hey these dresses don’t fit and she really needs some warm pj’s right now. Would you mind if I swapped them out?” Would have prevented all of this. That being said, she’s taking it too far and being childish. Your husband needs to step in and squash this.
My mom n mother inlaw don’t except my kids to wear the clothes they buy my kids but I did have family that would do that my mom said they have so many clothes idek what you got em
I have 8, going to be 9 grandbabies as of next month. I love shopping for them. However, I contact the moms and ask them what each child needs. We do this for school shopping, winter as it gets very cold and snowy and again in spring for summer. The moms know best what each needs. Typically I take the child or children and if mom can come, we go shopping together. The child then can say if they like the garment and everyone is happy too. It’s an enjoyable time.
So sorry it has turned into a toxic relationship and situation for you.
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Why can’t you explain why you traded the dresses in? Apologize and move on. Play nice.
As a grandparent when we buy something fancy for our grandchildren we put a lot of thought into it and are very excited to see our grandchildren in the items it gives us pleasure to see the child as excited as we are buying it for them
Dress her however you see fit. Never let anyone come between you and your daughter.
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I don’t understand everyone’s negative comments tbh, if my mum was buying my son lovely expensive
Clothing, then I’d be extremely thankful and would make the effort to dress my child in those clothes! It’s hardly “strings attached” it’s just being a thoughtful, nice person!! Grandma doesn’t have to buy you anything if she didn’t want to, but chooses to buy her grandchild lovely dresses! I’m very fussy with what my son wears, but out of respect and being thankful for anybody going out their way to buy an outfit for my son I will defiently let him wear it to visit said person. I know from buying clothes for other children, it makes you feel so warm and happy to see the child in in what you’ve chosen to buy them!I think your making a massive issue over cotton and thread at the end of the day. You’re VERY lucky, some people don’t have anyone buying or helping out with grandchildren, you sound really immature and I can’t actually believe grandma buying clothes is causing such a massive problem. Grow up.
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As a child my grandma would buy things for us and sometimes they were fine but other times they were wrong sized or a style of clothing I didn’t like(I hated the style of dresses that had that weird scratchy layer of mesh like plastic feeling fabric under the skirt to make it puffy and would literally sit there and scratch until my legs bled because it made me that uncomfortable) and my mom would exchange it for something I would wear. I don’t think it should be as big a deal as it sounds like it is and maybe the grandma is overreacting.
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Just be honest with her. It’s sad people have to hold things against others for stupid things like this. And if she has a problem tell her you love her and appreciate her and you just want to be honest with her.
Tell them to get over it. For years i tried to do what was “right” no one ever happy. Do what you want. Let them gripe let it roll off you their problem not yours
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My grandmother so my daughter great grandmother loves to buy my daughter clothes and i will try to make it that when we go visit her she wears the clothes that her “mémé” bought her. Although my grandmother will either be with me when she buys clothes and ask if she would like this or that, even if she isnt with me she will ask what my daughter needs shirts, shorts, pjs ect… but she doesnt care if we show up and she isnt wearing the outfit she bough thats just weird lol
When my granddaughter was young, she loved dresses. I’d watch the sales and buy fancy ones when they were about 80% off. I’d tell my daughter to let her wear them. Don’t save everything for special occasions. So what if they got a little dirty ! My granddaughter loved them!
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You are completely wrong yes grams or anyone expect to see clothes worn that were bought as a gift
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It sounds to me like your MIL is a manipulative tw@t
You didn’t do anything wrong with the over the top dresses.
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I think grandma is a control freak. Hubby should be the one that talks to his mother and back you up. I think grandma should also check to see if you need something specific for the child before she goes shopping. She needs to get a grip
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Let your husband pack tbe bag pick tbe clothes and everything to do with his family visit then it’s on him not you .
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If I Didn’t like it I would change it
I didn’t know there was a”rule” I have many grand and great if I buy or bought a gift and it was returned for more appropriate item or needed fine.
I have 2 daughters both sides of the family asks me what or if the girls need in clothes or shoes and will help us buy them one set of grandparents who r the only family that lives by us buys clothes and dresses for church for their house I would tell ur husband to shut it and tell ur MIL if that’s how she feels then don’t buy shit else
What a weird conundrum to have. On both sides.
Gma sounds like a control freak.
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Why didn’t return some of the clothes you bought her? I don’t understand why it had to be the stuff your MIL bought her that got returned.
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I don’t necessarily think you HAVE to wear them to her house. You could send pictures of her in it when you put her in it. You should’ve talked to her about returning them. Just said, hey, I’m really needing PJS is it okay if I take these back and get her some? I’m sure she would’ve understood you’re in a situation where you couldn’t get them. I think you should apologize if you want to have a better relationship with her because you were in the wrong for that 100%. She went to the store with YOUR daughter in mind and looked around and thought she would love those and then you just took them back not even caring about the fact that she just did all of that out of love for your child. She’s not in the wrong for being upset at all and you shouldn’t be trying to force everyone to believe you’re in the right and she’s in the wrong.
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Yikes idk anytime I get clothes as gifts for my kiddos I always have them wear it even if it’s just once snap pics and send it to that person and tell them it’s appreciated. When I gift an outfit I normally pick something weather appropriate and ask if there’s a need for something specific before I buy and I always leave a gift receipt just in case
Take a photo send it to her and put her in whatever the hell you want
Your daughter isn’t a Barbie doll for people to play dress up with. I have 4 teenagers who have their own style and dress themselves. I can’t remember what they wore on this day 10 years ago because it not important. The whole “issue” seems so ridiculous that she obviously has way deeper underlined problems with you than just a dress. If she truly is this upset over a dress she should seek professional help.
Not required to do anything. Gifts are just that, a gift that doesn’t come with strings attached. Used the clothes or return them as you, her mother, see fit.
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Your mil is controlling and selfish. Your daughter is becoming the age to say if she likes the clothes or not, these things will work out on their own. Let your husband know under no circumstances you’ll allow your parents or his to cause problems in your marriage as he is siding with his mom on a petty issue. She can save the clothes money for college if she wants. For me personally I’ve had to remove tags on gifts before since my nephew’s wife returns everything anyone buys for her son to spend on herself.
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My MIL for some reason thought my daughter needed white turtlenecks. I had a garage sale and had 34 white turtlenecks for sale. Why??? Babies have no necks so why turtlenecks? I don’t get old ladies.
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Take pictures in the fancy dresses, frame them-give as a gift. Return them and get practical clothes. Boom!
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Hell noo, she’s YOUR DAUGHTER 
I am a granny of 7. They range in age from 14 to 1 1/2. I have bought my grandkids many clothing outfits, but I must say the 14 year old is the only girl. There are so many beautiful dresses for young girls out there that I fell into it. My daughter in law brought to my attention how restricted these cloths were and asked if she could exchange them. Definitely she could. Why not buy something they live and will wear over and over again. Our granddaughters are not dolls, especially these days. They play sports, wrestle around, climb trees etc… let them be able to move and be comfortable. Your MIL is being very unreasonable
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My mom had to buy “needed” things when raising us. Now she gets to buy over the top special things as a grandma. She gets the fun job and has better finances to enjoy her purchases instead of having to be sensible. Some day I hope I can do the same with my grandchildren. So my kids get to wear or play with whatever she buys them. Now, if they need something like new pjs that’s out of budget I mention it to her and she’s happy to help. I would never return something she sent without asking her first. Not everyone gets a grandma that sends them anything so I’m thankful 
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Ok you know I understood grandma wanting to see her in the clothes, I’d probably snap a pic and then return it. I’ve returned so many outfits from ppl. Like we’re in Mississippi, smocked is a huge deal here, I hate it!! HATE IT! So I snap a pic, hiding the tags and then return! No harm no foul. But throwing a fit if the child wears something someone else bought?? No ma’am! We don’t do that. I’d never put my kid in anything they bought again!
I usually buy what I like or what my daughter has shown interest in for HER kids…I buy hand to her…end of story. I never question she is the Mommy!!!
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I think only time to allow this to blow over is going to do any good. Now that you know the lay of the land, I agree with what some other folks have said; have your hubby pick the outfit that your child wears to visit his mom. If she wants to spend money on clothes that stay at her house and only get worn once or twice, so be it.
There’s many grandparents that don’t get anything for their grandchildren or are interested in their lives. Be grateful and tolerant for a little while. It’s not that big a deal. Pick your battles.
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I think a simple thing is being over dramatized.
However, out of respect for my MIL I used to dress my daughter in the clothes she bought, regardless of how over the top. About a year ago, she started being rude and disrespectful to my two kids I had before meeting her son. Since then, I don’t even attempt to dress her in anything cute going over there. Usually everyday clothes.
She hasn’t said anything but I also don’t allow my older children stay over there anymore. If you’re able to be rude to an 8 and 5 year old- for no reason- then you’ve lost my respect and my kids will no longer attend your house unless I’m there to stand up for them.
It’s a bummer because her husband - is an amazing grandpa to all of the kids.
If grandpa asks if the older two can stay, I say yes- and they never complain when grandpa asks.
Yeah. When people buy clothes for your kid…they expect to see said kid wear them. Could have waited until a holiday to out her in those dresses and just traded something else in or bought pjs for her instead of trading in tbose clothes. Maybe could have even out them on your child,took pics,then taken them off with tags still on and returned after. If had talked to the grandma about needing pjs…i bet she would have sent some. Learn to pick your battles…
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Invite her to go shopping with both of you and pick out clothes together And if your daughter is old enough to pick out her own clothes, let her
Grandma needs to stop buying clothes and I’d tell her that in front of her son.
First of all, your husband should have YOUR back. And that’s last of all too. You wouldn’t feel this way if he has your back.
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This lady just described my in-laws to a T! When will it get better? When she dies. Been there done that.
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I definitely don’t agree with how she says things and how your husband doesn’t stand up for you.
When my MIL would buy the kids anything fancy I’d always get pics made(this was 20-22 yrs ago). Now you can take pics yourself and get them made into 8x10.
That’s sad that it is so important that she see her granddaughter in something she bought. She should be glad to see her at all. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t stand by you. He picked you as a partner not her. It won’t do any good to fight it. Pray for her, she sounds like a miserable person. I’ll pray for you to deal with her, as she is his mother.
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Maybe the two of you could go shopping together so both of you can be aware of what your daughter needs and what fits best. Choose items that you can agree upon. 0f course, Grandma wants the purchases she makes to be used, and, of course, you know what your daughter needs.
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If this is your biggest issue with you in-laws consider yourself blessed. Mine don’t even try to see their sons kids let alone buy them anything, which I would never even expect.
As a Grandma if I bought my grandchild clothing I would of course want to see them in it. So why not take a picture of grandma and grandchild together with the child wearing the outfit. Or at least as in the 2 dresses that were fancy, a picture of the child in the dress to show to grandma. Sometimes as grandparents we feel a little left out. This is not something that should cause a rift in your family. Put love before all else, it sounds like you were close once… keep that special for the sake of your child
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Ok a misunderstanding is a misunderstanding!!! If you’ve explained it and apologize then that should be enough. It’s not like you did it to purposely hurt her feelings or out of malice. She’s an adult; not kindergarten, it’s time to move on.
As one last ditch effort, may be try writing her a nice letter telling her what it’s meant having her as a mother-in-law (good stuff) and grandma in your family’s life. How what happened was an accident and you didn’t truly mean to hurt her and if you’d know it would have your would never have done so. How you’ve miss the closeness you once shared. Don’t make it sound anything like there is an accusation; how much you’ve loved/appreciated her in your life, how much she all means to you and how you miss the bond you two once had. Send it with some flowers on a random day. Also, if you have any pictures of her with you daughter in some of the outfits she’s purchased - include those with little notes on the back about the day or something special.
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