You are a carpet to be walked on.You are not her servant.You would be wrong to let her bully you.You’ve been a good sister…now it’s her turn to be a good sister to you.
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She’s your sister and I think it will bother you if you don’t do the shower. If you should decide to do it I think you should tell her it will be done your way, the way you plan it and who you feel should be invited. After all its supposed to a surprise. Your not obligated. But again, I do think it will bother you if you choose not to. Good luck🙏🏻
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You are not obligated to do anything for your sister. Tell her you are not going to “ruin” another event in her life. Since she complained for 3 years, why would she want to throw her a shower? Doesn’t make any sense.
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No. She will most likely not be satisfied with your job on this shower either. And she has not let go with the problems she felt with the last one. Showers are not really supposed to be thrown by family members anyway.
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1st thing first. The only thing you are OBLIGATED to do is take care of your household. Everything else is OPTIONAL. I would talk to my sister and let her know that I can’t afford a extravagant baby shower but you can help or throw her something you can afford. If she cant understand then she can throw it her self. 
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You hosted a bridal shower and she was absolutely unappreciative. She has not earned another shower at your expense. Just tell her you’re not up to it.
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No one threw me any showers! I organised it myself. Just tell her you don’t wanna “stress” her again!!
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You are under no obligation to do anything for your sister. Bridal showers should be given by the maid of honor or a close friend. A baby shower should be given by someone close to you that can afford it. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I can’t believe she’s so ungrateful you threw her a bridal shower! Just because you didn’t follow her direction to a T she has complained for the past three year. She needs to get over herself! She didn’t hire you as an ever planner. Let someone else throw it and go as a guest if that is possible. Good luck 
to you.
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This is why I don’t go to baby showers or bridal showers, too much drama
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If she expects you to pay for it alone with no help, I’d say no. I get the party is for her, but I would never hand someone a list of demands and be like “this is what I want, now do it, you HAVE to.” I’d also explain to her your feelings about the last shower you held for her and how ungrateful she was. No one should expect a shower cause no one HAS to throw you one, they do it because they WANT to.
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First, you don’t ask for a shower. It is done because people want to do it for you. She wants all that and a bag of chips, she can throw her own shower. So no, you are not obligated to do anything, especially after the spoiled entitled was she acted the first time.
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Maybe it’s just the way I was raised… but you don’t ask someone to throw you a shower… THEY OFFER…
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Tell her to have the most important person that didn’t get invited to the last shower to do it!!!
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I’d be telling her to get her drama queen friend to host it , what a self centred piece of work, you absolutely owe her nothing , she’s just full of her own self importance .
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You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Family or not you’re not obligated to do anything. My sister, mom and a friend are doing mine but I offered to help etc. and they told me not to worry about it but the offer still stands. It’s not your responsibility to cater to her especially after all the drama she caused.
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Just because she’s your sister doesn’t mean you’re obligated. It’s normally done by a best friend or themselves and always paid for by themselves. Well that’s how it’s done where I’m from. I have 2 kids and never had a baby shower
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One is not to ask for a shower. Family does not give showers , considered very rude. Her great friend not invited last time let her do it but don’t ask very rude. People give showers because they want to. A baby shower before baby is born I don’t like. Something always seems to happen. All showers I’ve gone to or hand was after baby was born.
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Just because you’re her Sister doesn’t mean you have to throw her a baby shower. She can do her own. My daughter threw her own baby shower I helped her, so did her friend and MIL. Don’t feel obligated
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At this point you did enough for her first shower. It should be given by a close friend of hers.
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You’re not obligated to and she’s acting entitled. She can do it herself, if she wants one. Do not ruin your peace because of “family” if you know it’s not gonna be a good time for you.
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I always was taught proper etiquette was for a family member not to host a shower. It’s your decision and no one else’s.
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I don’t care if all I could do was cherry Kool aid and popcorn , I would do whatever I could to welcome the baby and show the Mommy to be love.
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I wouldn’t throw her the baby shower and it’s not your responsibility. She can have a friend do it. I know plenty of people who have friends give them baby showers.
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You have no obligation to host her shower, especially after her actions the first time.
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You aren’t obligated to do anything.
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Nope I would tell her since I ruined the wedding for her that it would be better to ask someone else to give her a baby shower👶
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What happened to surprise baby showers where the host did what she wanted and the mother-to-be just enjoyed it.
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Hell no…if u did all that the first time around and she didn’t appreciate it, then nodontdo it again. Buy a nice gift for baby and enjoy the shower she will guilt someone else to throw for her.
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You are not obligated to do anything for your sister. She has taken advantage of your kind nature. If you don’t want to do this simply say no. This is not your responsibility.
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Er no!! If she wants a baby shower (not keen on them myself) then she can do it herself!! Bless your heart for even considering doing it after the grief you’ve got over last one! X
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Stick to your gund! Chances are she’ll do you the same way this time…especially since she has pregnancy harmonies. Just let her know you love her but you just can’t do it.
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I have 4 grown children and plenty of family. No one ever gave me a baby shower.
She’ll get over it.
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No way! I’d say “get someone else” or get her to organaise her own. So that way she can only be disappointed in herself or others, not you.
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My daughter is pregnant right now. She refused to have me throw a baby shower. Because she felt it made people feel obligated. We decided, to put money towards the baby’s needs instead. Two year’s ago, I helped her sister throw a beautiful shower which I offered to help with. It did cost’s a whole lot of time and money, but it made her happy. I guess, my point is nobody, including your sister has the right to demand you give them a shower. If you want to show your love, then send a gift.
Nope , you’re not a bad sister for not hosting a baby shower! She seems bossy and ungrateful. I would tell her how she made you feel for the past 3 years and how that is unacceptable.
What kind of sister is she. She sounds like a spoiled brat. You are not obligated to do it if you feel uncomfortable doing it. If she’s willing to take a seat and give you free hands, do it only if you want to. Good Luck, something tells me you’re going to need it.
She obviously won’t appreciate whatever you do. Why go thru that again?
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You can pick your friends but not your family. You will have to make the final decision and live with it. By the tone of your post, you’ve already decided. You don’t need us for affirmation.
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Do you have any other family and or friends who might be willing to help? It’s not up to her what is done or how it’s done. You do what you can afford, and invite whom you are comfortable inviting. Otherwise she can throw her own shower.
Im sorry but is this an American thing?
Baby shower (only had the one out of three), wedding including engagement party and hens lunch) I paid and organised the lot. If you want something, do it yourself and don’t burden others. Especially if you want it done in a specific way, otherwise you will be setting yourself up to be disappointed somewhere.
Just tell your sister no you’re too busy. Willing to help her organise it but you’re not doing it on your own
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You need a new sister!! Seriously you need to limit your time with her. Sometimes friends are much better sisters!! Get involved with a club, charity or place of worship. You will find better people who think of others. Not all perfect but more possibilities of good relationships.
Put yourself first. Your peace, your feelings, are equally important as your sisters. If you are at peace with doing it, then do it. If your gut feeling tells you no, listen to yourself!
In my family you can only host a shower for a family member if only family is invited. With a bridal shower you would be able to add the future MIL. Even though she is not family. But that is it.
Mmmm I have never let anyone organized anything for me my baby showers have been paid for by me since I’m the host and I’m the pregnant one not my sisters I’ve always found that odd, that other people have to do that 
I always think my party my responsibility not anyone else’s unless they do throw a party for me out of their kindness of their heart then that’s different
She was so ungrateful the first time you threw her a shower saying you ruined the wedding and put stress on the wedding all because you didn’t invite someone. So if you according to her ruined the baby shower and put stress on the baby and it comes out with the wrong colour eyes will that be your fault aswell? I would have a serious talk with your sister about her taking advantage of you and tell how you feel. Good luck 
This applies to wedding/bridal shower and baby showers: Not only no , but NO! It’s rude & crass for the person of honor, any of her family members, or any of the groom’s/father’s family members to throw a shower for the bride/mother/couple/baby. A friend of the person/couple or a friend of either family should do it.
If your mother passed why can’t the other Grandmom throw a baby shower for the birth of her grandchild I feel like siblings shouldn’t be the next step that’s like a Bestfriend thing or a Grandmom with funds from dad if your mother isn’t alive
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Just because she’s pregnant does not mean she gets a baby shower. Maybe her friend who causes the drama that you didn’t invite to the wedding shower can host it.
I would tell her to possibly off ,if you done her good ,and she treated you badly ,I would not be doing anything for her ,even if she is your sister and pregnant…
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First off no, just because you are the sister doesn’t mean anything. Two, You did her bidding once and she should be very grateful for what you did and not have ongoing drama for the last 3 years and you did her WEDDING SHOWER! That’s much harder because it’s more intimate and time consuming! Third, So no you do not have the obligation to do her baby shower, more than not that one is done by Best Friend or Aunt…Sorry for the loss of your Mom…Your sister is being a spoiled BRAT…tell her it is an honor but you have to pass!
Since when is it a sister’s duty to organise baby showers? As a family member, it’s nice to put up your hand to HELP prepare for it, of coarse. But your sister’s sense of entitlement is off the charts. If I were in your shoes, I would tell sis that it’s only fair to make this a team effort and contribution amongst her close family and friends. Especially after her reaction to the last occasion she expected you to organise.
I don’t believe anyone should be forced to throw a shower. I also don’t understand why you, because of your feelings, decided to exclude anyone. Especially if your sister wanted them their. Definitely tell your sister you are not able to throw her a shower this time.
You don’t owe her anything. Sounds like she’s a user. It’s best to learn to say no and care for your own mental health with someone like that.
Nope. Just kindly leave it at “while I’m tickled you asked me to host your baby shower, I’m just not going to be able to. If you have one, please let me know what I can bring”.
Say no. My Son’s live in, would not let me give her a baby shower unless she directed and planned, I would just do the work and pay. The fun of the baby shower is providing a neat gift for Mom and baby. Not a dictatorship
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Stick to your guns; it’s perfectly acceptable if a friend plans a baby shower.
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I would politely say you would love to attend her shower but you are not up to hosting it and you hope she understands.
No does she not have a best friend or anyone else just because you are sisters doesn’t mean she is boss and can treat you like this. Stand up for yourself ND just say no
She can throw her own shower.
Learn how to build boundaries. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first. No one else can do that for you.
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Honestly all the women in my family pitched in and threw a baby shower for me. I was told the one who is pregnant does not throw it, it’s a women of the family thing.
If the baby will have a GodMother it is her responsibility.
No, you do not have to throw her a baby shower. It is not an obligation.
I think you will always regret it if you do it.
You are not obligated to throw her a baby shower. Not even in the slightest, just as you weren’t obligated to throw her a wedding shower. Wedding/bridal showers are traditionally thrown by parents &/or maid of honor. Baby showers can be thrown by anyone, including daddy & pregnant mommy.
Tell her you don’t feel comfortable doing so, & that you do not have the money in your own budget. Your ability to pay your bills & take care of your needs/your own family come before her party.
If she needs all this expensive crap for her giant party, perhaps she should pay for it herself, or ask a group of her friends to pool their money together & throw her the party she feels she deserves.
Your sister sounds like she’s a real riot, reminds me of my snobby sisters.
Do not be manipulated into doing something you really don’t feel comfortable doing. Tell her the end results of the wedding shower caused YOU stress,and you don’t want that experience again.period
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You don’t have to do anything, it is up to her or her best friends to throw her a shower, you aren’t obligated to do a bloody thing
No you are not obligated to give her a baby shower, especially after being ungrateful for the wedding shower. Don’t let her guilt you into it. She is being selfish. Let one of her friends do it.
That would be a big NOPE!!! someone else in the family can do it…an aunt…cousin…friend…in law…but I sure would not do it cor the day of sanity!!!
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Stick to your guns. Tell her no, she has carried on about the last shower you threw and so now you’re never throwing another one. Bugger it, why put yourself out there for more drama and ridicule.
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I think everyone above has answered your questions. Your sister sounds like a spoilt Brat and doesn’t deserve such a caring sister. She will always be a thorn in your side for life. RUN the other way !!!
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She doesn’t have to have a baby shower, your girlfriends or co workers do that
I respectfully explained why I declined to be my sister’s bridesmaids. Boundaries are important.
I never asked for a baby shower … It was a surprise , that’s the kind of stuff you do when you love someone.
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You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to or can’t do. Most of the times the most toxic people are family and thats the truth. You don’t have to feel obligated to do it and also don’t have to feel guilty.
Since she has been putting you down about the bridal shower for years I would not host another shower for her. She is ungrateful at best. Let her find another relative or friend to do the shower. Stop letting her manipulate you. And if she gets mad about it, oh well-too bad.
Her best friend also can or her hubby side could does her hubby have a sister if so ask her
Has she apologized for what she said to you from the last shower? If not I would excuse yourself and let her know after what happened after the last shower you had on her you will not be throwing the shower. Why isn’t her friends having the shower on her.
No is a complete sentence. You don’t owe her anything. Even an explanation.
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Suggest she ask 1 of her friends to do it then it’s neutral. You are certainly NOT obliged to throw a baby shower.
Just say no. You don’t need to give a reason. Draw your own boundaries. Hold strong and bear in mind that if she tells people they will be wondering why she thinks you should host it.
No way.If she treats you(her sister) likes this my guess is she has no girlfriends to give her a baby shower.Let her husbands family have a shower for her.
If she want a shower then tell her to organise it herself your her sister not her mother no obligation to do anything
Tell her to go f*** herself… I’m sure she’s got a best friend that can do it… stand up to her and tell her after the last shower you hosted and coped so much flak about your not doing it again … more fool you if you do it…
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I believed normally that it is only for the 1st child. But i wouldn’t due to her being unappreciated either way.
You absolutely are not at all obligated to do that. And since there was so much drama last time, I wouldn’t even waste the time or money this time around.
Set boundaries that you know in your heart are right, because they’re for you and for her… but do everything in your power to make that relationship work, be the bigger person whenever you can, but make sure you protect yourself.
Less drama! Be cause no matter how much or how little you do or no matter how much or how little you spend she’ll find fault. And does she want that 1 person invited again? Stick to your guns girl 
You are not obligated to do anything. Simple. However, if you CHOOSE to than go for it and enjoy. She sounds ungrateful so I’m not sure i would
I would not throw it!
If you explained you do not have the funds and she still insists she isn’t much of a sister!
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I have learned even family can be toxic. For your own health say no
Not her first child and no shower needed… If anyone wants to give her child a gift fine otherwise not necessary. Very spoiled ungrateful relative… I wouldn’t.think twice in saying NO… Once enough and that’s it.
obligated, no.
but if u want, a low cost cake n punch and have people come by at their leisure to give their blessing any time between 3 hours…
easy… have her friends organize a call in. or a zoom…
no need to go overboard.
Stick to what you know, do not throw the baby shower, in the first place she does not have the right to tell you or expect it, you don’t need the drama.
You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. She or the baby daddy can throw the baby shower.
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I would tell her , technically family members don’t throw showers. She sounds like if you don’t do it no one will
You do not have to throw a baby shower if you don’t want to. If you do, make sure you invite EVERYONE, including those that you know will cause problems. If she says anything, tell her " well, 3 years ago I didn’t invite a certain person because they stir up trouble and drama, and you said I ruined the party". She’ll either shut her mouth and deal with it, or she’ll stop talking to you altogether. Either way, you win, because if she stops talking to you over following exactly what she told you to do, you DO NOT need her toxic ass in your life.
Her character won’t change either way. But her a gift. That’s it.
Just be honest and state what you can do and nothing more, she should appreciate that you are helping her out.
She sounds like high maintenance self righteous spoiled brat. Who designates ppl to hold showers for them?
Cut ur losses and save the money and don’t bother. She has friends to do that shit for her.
Tell her to contact the trouble maker friend to throw it.
Sounds like even if a perfect shower was to take place your efforts would be “downgraded” by you sister who sounds to me enjoys the “victim” role. Unfortunately people like this don’t see that eventually everyone sees it and they don’t see how pathetic they look. Especially when there are true, no fault of their own, victims in the world. Society, family units and friends all pay dearly when dealing with this .
Where’s her best friend? Let her do it. Tell her you endured 3 years of her bitching and do not care for 3 more but you would be happy to help with making the food, for example.