Am I over thinking this comment?

I’m currently talking to a man whos mom made a comment that made me a bit uncomfortable. He told me he showed her a picture of me, Im hispanic, w tan skin dark brown hair & eyes- he has fair skin dirty blonde hair & blue eyes. Well once she saw me she made a comment along the lines of “im not gonna get my little blue eyed grandkids” im not sure if im looking into it too much but i felt kind of offended by that. Like in a way she’s disappointed that i dont fit the “idea” of the person she had in mind for her son. He also didnt see anything wrong w the comment, he was confused on how i would feel a bit uncomfortable about that.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I over thinking this comment?

Oh just overlook it! I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it

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Ignore that I don’t think she really meant anything bad by it.

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I’d be offended by this :see_no_evil:

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I would also get offended if I was in your shoes , she wasnt thinking of how you would feel before that came out of her mouth . Im sure she truly didn’t mean anything by it , but would also upset me and she should be cautious of how she says things ! But keep your head up mama , youre not in the relationship to impress mama .

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I would be offended by this.

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i mean i know plenty of Hispanics, with colored eyes…there’s always a possibility. my grandpa had blue eyes, it skipped a generation, then my brother got hazel eyes that change to like 4 other colors, depending on what he’s wearing. his 2 sons, have blue/grey eyes, that also change colors. mine get extremely light, in the summer time. dont let her comments bother you, your kids will be absolutely gorgeous, regardless of her ignorant comment.

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My best friend is white but darker complected. Dark hair and eyes. Her SO is Hispanic. Their baby has dark hair but blue eyes. Her other baby is blonde and blue. Can’t guarantee that crap really

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My wifes eyes are brown, and ny first daughter has baby blue eyes.

Yeah thats pretty ignorant of her. I would not appreciate the comment either. For the record, I am Hispanic and have a light brown, blue eyed baby that looks like dad and not me so she’s just wrong anyways. It happens.

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And so it begins…it won’t be the last time.

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She definitely meant something by it. Sometimes other races don’t understand indirect racist quotes the way minorities do. Go off how he treats you but explain to him why the comment hurt.

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Sounds like she thinks he might really be into you and thinks you’re marriage material so I’d consider it a compliment!

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I wouldn’t think anything of it. My mom looked at my so and said damn, probably not much chance of that redheaded grand baby I want

Tell her you don’t plan on having kids!:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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I would ignore the comment. It’s you and his relationship…not hers. I wouldn’t give a shit about her “idea” of what she wanted for her son. :joy: …as long as he treats you good and you guys are happy. If this is the only comment that’s said I would just ignore it.:slightly_smiling_face:.if she continues with comments like this then I’d address it with him again.

I would definitely be offended. I made the mistake of looking passed things like that with my former in laws. Him not defending you or even seeing the problem would also be a red flag for me.

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That was offensive and insensitive and very immature of her grown ass to say that and if your man thinks it was ok then dam hes probably just like his Mama :woman_shrugging:t4:

Hahaha well that dumb I’m Mexican and probably same skin color as u and most of all my kids have light color eyes and light skin lol shoot my first born has blue eyes and no one in my ex have color eyes :joy: so yea mándala al cárajo

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Never trust them. Already gave you their points of view.

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They are both racist, they just don’t know. But this is so common in México :face_with_hand_over_mouth: people are like “omgsh your kids could have blue eyes!” like it’s something better. Some people have racism so ingrained that they litterally mean no harm, but it doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. You can let it go and be proud of your skin! This can be fixed, they just need to get to know better.

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really if he didnt want you to have a bad impression of his mother he should never of repeated that to you 🥲 and when you meet her in person just have a smart arse remark ready for her !!

My dad is native. Black hair, brown eyes, dark skin tone. My mother is white, blonde hair and blue eyes. I have naturally blonde hair blue eyes. I have one brother that has dark skin, eyes and hair.
Another brother with fair skin, dark hair and dark eyes. You never know what you’ll get!

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I’d be offended. And since he didn’t say anything about it to her, he has to think along the same lines.

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I would be bothered by that and that the guy you’re seeing can’t understand your position.

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Just let it go. Who knows she might just get blue eyed grandkids

I would be offended. No matter how deep you look into this, it sounds rude because they are judging as if disappointed by LOOKS.

Meh I used to want dark skinned little olive babies but fell in love with a blonde haired blue eyed white boy. Sometimes thing just work out how they do. And ironically genetics are a weird one, you never know what’s resseive gene is in someone’s background. My son does have olive skin even if it’s a little lighter but I wouldn’t trade my husband for any other man in the world.

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My boyfriend and I both have dark brown eyes and our son has brought blue eyes like my dad… As long as a family member has it is possible for a child to have them :woman_shrugging:

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It’s ignorance at its finest. I would personally move on. He can find his blue eyed queen who will be no good to him… DAAAAAALE…

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Life’s too short, I would just let it roll right off me and continue living my life.

I’m the same color as you and my daughter got blue eyes, I would have just said nope I guess she doesn’t.

She’s lowkey racist… she will.never “approve” of you

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I have a niece that has blonde hair and blue eyes, who’s father is Hispanic with black hair brown eyes and her mother is white with blonde hair brown eyes.

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Relax, it’s true right. It’s a different generation, maybe unaware of “miro-aggressions”. I would be careful not to get over dramatic ". Work at getting to know her before you judge her, just as she should get to know you.

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Your feelings are valid! When i net my exes mom she said to him “awe and here i thoughts you were going to marry a nice native woman” (im mixed euro) made me feel so terrible she didnt even give me a chance as a human. I find its the older generations that are cursed with these negative qualities but theres no excuse for ignorance and im sorry you had to experience it

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To each their own… I personally wouldn’t be offended.

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From a different perspective. I just loved my youngest big blue eyes. They were one of my most favorite features about her and I get excited to think that her kids could have those same huge big blue eyes. It could be something just as simple and not malicious at all. Keep your ear open for other comments for sure but it truly could have been something she loved about her son and has nothing so much to do with you. I hope that makes sense.

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If you don’t have blue eyes, than more than likely neither will your kids… Take it at face value, she was just making a statement about your eye color… :roll_eyes: At least she’s planning on a future with you in it, assuming that you 2 will have babies…

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My Hispanic mil calls my middle son her gringo baby bc he’s the most white of the 3 :joy: i was more bothered that a lot of people asked if my husband was the dad when he was born bc he had blonde hair (I have brown hair also, all my siblings are blonde and so was my mom so he gets it from me). But idk if it bothers you then don’t talk to him anymore. She probably didn’t mean it in a racist way, but if it bothers you then walk away :woman_shrugging:t2:

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No I think that she (mom) wants her grandkids to be a little copy and paste of her kids because obviously your kids are the prettiest cutest kids ever. You have very strong genes that is a higher probable copy and paste… :yellow_heart::purple_heart: Maybe I am naive, but I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt…

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It absolutely could come across as offensive. My 2 younger children are biracial and a family member was singing little brown bear. People need to realize times are changing and it’s just not appropriate. No she may not get her blue eyed grandchild but wtf does that matter. How about a healthy grandchild. I have green eyes and love them 2 of my 3 kids have my eyes that doesn’t mean I make comments on my son with brown eyes that could be hurtful.

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If your only currently “talking to him” like you stated…what does his moms opinion matter with anything? Does he sleep with his mom too? …I don’t get Why what she has to say matters… and I think it’s also very ignorant of the guy your talking to to even tell you that.

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It was rude. But on the flip side I’m AA and have a blue eyed son so anything is possible. :woman_shrugging:t5:

I wouldn’t be offended! I’ve made that comment myself about myself! I have very blue eyes and my partner has very brown eyes. So far all our kiddos have brown eyes lol

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I don’t think she should’ve said it but maybe it wasn’t meant to sound as harsh as you took it. I’d just let it go. Or say “you never know what could happen!”

I’m confused as to why he’s confused on how you found it offensive.
Mixed babies are often some of the cutest! My fiance is part Mexican. All brown eyes on his mom’s side (the Mexican side) and what I’ve seen of his dad’s side, brown eyes there too. (His are actually hazel though.) I have hazel eyes. Our first child came out with brown eyes. Our second came out with blue or gray. (I’m honestly not sure what to consider them.) I’ve had people ask where that color came from. Well, both of my parent’s dads were blue eyed. My one uncle and his son are blue eyed. A cousin on my dad’s side is blue eyed. So while neither of us have blue eyes and he heavily carries genes to produce darker eyed babies, we still got a blue or gray eyed child. I’ve also knew a guy who was half Mexican. He had blond hair and blue eyes. I was surprised when I found out he’s half Mexican.
At the same time though, that’s not a great start of a relationship with his mom and could easily keep things tense.

There’s no guarantee on any of that. I am fair skinned with blue eye and my middle child is olive skinned with green eyes. Go figure.

She might be saying she sees you in the future.

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My nephew is Puerto rican, Dominican & Honduran…with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes :joy::joy::joy:…everyone sees things differently…like some could see it as racist, some could see it as atleast she sees you in her sons future and having a family together :woman_shrugging:t4:

How did we go from “talking to a man” to any comment about babies :woozy_face:

Tell her she obviously doesn’t know about genetics. I have a little blue eye queen and both dad and I have brown eyes.
Plus what’s all the fuss about colored eyes? All eyes have a beautiful tone.

Sounds like they have zero clue about racial sensitivity. :triangular_flag_on_post: But also, blue eyed kids aren’t off the table either :woman_facepalming:t3: it’s possible.

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I’m not Hispanic, but I have dark brown hair and eyes and have a blonde haired blue eyed child. I know that’s not the point, just sayin. Have you met his mother yet? I would have a genuine conversation about the comment and how you feel. My first thought is there was no offense meant, but I understand where you can take it that way. I don’t know anyone involved so I really can’t say. Talk to her though. It may very well be nothing.

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GodJesus. Who tf cares.

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I’m Hispanic and my husband is what I call Ginger white, we have one with dark brown hair and brown eyes and the other is blond hair blue eyes and fair skin but can tan.

That’s what I thought being Hispanic and my kids dad being a white, brunette with brown eyes but we have our bleach blonde/blue eyed son lol genetics are so amazing.

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My eyes are a very rare color combo (blue and yellow). I always wanted my children to have my eyes, but assumed when i fell in love with my husband who has dark brown eyes it would never happen, and I was 100% OK with that. Welp, guess what, both of my kiddos got my eyes. As long as HE doesn’t care, don’t worry yourself with her stupid comments.

My brother and sister’s spouses are brown eyed and my siblings are blue eyed. All of my kids are blue eyed, despite me having green eyes…
They aren’t Hispanic. But I know from my perspective, I love our blue eyes and it’s what I’m used to seeing in kids since my whole family is blue eyed (mom and dad side) and every single cousin I have is blue eyed except one. My siblings’ oldest child each has brown eyes and their other kids all got our blue eyes, and the blue eyed ones stand out even though the brown eyed ones are the rare ones in our family.

I don’t know that I would take offense, it’s just what she’s used to seeing in her kids.

Oh screw her, my son is Hispanic, dark brown hair and dark brown eyes, his girlfriend is white and has dark brown hair and green eyes, and their baby…GREEN EYES

FYI to dear mother. I have blue eyes and my hubby has a dark complexion and dark eyes. We have one blue eyed child and one brown eyes child

I have blue eyes and hubby had brown/hazel eyes. All our sons have blue eyes :woman_shrugging:t2:
So it’s a toss up. She’ll get over it.

Maybe she was joking at least she didn’t say anything derogatory about you.

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I can see how you can find it offensive, but I also think she didn’t mean anything by it.
I wanted my children to have my dark hair, I have one baby with strawberry blonde hair, one with hair that’s almost white, and one with very light brown hair.
None of them got my green eyes, all baby blues.
Genetics are weird, you can’t really predict those things.
Just because i wanted them to have my favorite features of myself, doesn’t mean I don’t think they are any less beautiful because they don’t.

I think it was rude and honestly it comes off a bit racist if you ask me.

Maybe he’s confused why it would bother you, because it doesn’t matter what his mom thinks.
Or maybe that’s typical behavior for his mom & he just overlooks it. Not fair that it is overlooked, but sometimes that’s life.
So going forward, I would just make sure he’s not a mama’s boy!
Bright side is, she’s talking about a future with you in it!

You started by saying your “talking” to him so if while screening each other you found that his mother is disappointed in your lack of aryan master race features, you can assure him that your mother would be disappointed that you would consider a relationship with someone who was raised by an unveiled racist

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If it truly bothered you then I would recommend addressing it with her in person. Show her that you won’t allow her to walk all over you. Otherwise it will only escalate further.

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Well, you very likely could end up with blue eyes children but besides that it doesn’t really seem like that comment alone was really all that upsetting. Keep your ears open for more though.

she doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s like this, maybe you want baby to look like you and maybe he wants baby to look like him. same thing if it were like that but in the end nobody really cares who the baby looks like as long as they’re healthy. Don’t think too far into it. :slight_smile:

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Your reading to much into it… all Mom’s have visions of what there kids/grandbabies gonna look like… But I am sure she Will Love them no Matter what color their hair,eye color is!! :wink::kissing_heart:
I was with a red headed freckled boy and I got a Blue eyed, BLONDE headed beauty :heart:

We are Hispanic and my sisters husband is Irish. She has 4 kids. 2 are brown with dark eyes and hair and 2 are pale with light eyes… it’s genetics and mixed children are beautiful.

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He’s just dumb and doesn’t get it and really shouldn’t of even told you. It is offensive but his mom probably doesn’t even realize it.

I fear that’s only the beginning of it. I have family members like this. The fact that he didn’t see the problem with it makes me wonder about him as well. Hmm I don’t know love I would reconsider.

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I have heard many people say this kind of crap…I wouldn’t take it personally my self…she may have always joked about such a thing…

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I do not think you are reading too much into it. I am white and all of my children are biracial. My husband is Mexican. Trust me go with your gut feeling

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My sister is blond haired and blue eyed. My BIL is Mexican/Native. Both their girls are blond headed and blue eyed.

Anything’s possible. My dad had blue eyes, mom has brown. Brown eyes are supposedly more dominant than blue. Out of 5 kids, 3 of use has blue eyes, one has brown eyes, and I have hazel. :woman_shrugging:

I would have been offended. I have green eyes & was so glad my boys came out with really dark brown eyes like their Dad. People with light colored eyes are lacking melanin & pigment, creeps me out sometimes honestly lol. They’re also at greater risk of macular degeneration. Not sure why that’s considered pretty by some lol.

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Well first off she’s rude second off she’s wrong

My cousin is half Spanish she’s BEAUTIFUL but does have brown eyes ( my aunts eyes are blue) her bf also had brown eyes and their daughter has BLUE blue eyes :heart: they can still have blue eyes although not sure why eye color matters so much my niece has brown eyes my sister myself and mom all have blue

I’m Hispanic, my man is blonde hair & blue eyes. I was disappointed my daughter didn’t have colored eyes like him, but nothing seriously

You feel the way you do its ok. He might not get it cause he dont see it like that. Dont over think it just let it ride.

If it wasnt a public post it wasnt for you to ever hear. He shouldnt of told you that. I’d ask why he would start you off with this unease about his family. Red flag on that.
Now if she said it to your face that is another story.

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I mean…I’m white and he’s Mexican/Indian…and our daughter has his skin tone but my blonde hair blue eyes…so gma could easily still get her “desired” grandbaby.

But I do think her comment was out of line. Why can’t she just be happy either way? Her son could have gotten with someone who didn’t want kids. :woman_shrugging:t3:

My husband is dark-haired with tan skin and brown eyes and I have fair skin, blond hair and blue eyes. We have 2 children - one with dark hair, tan skin, brown eyes, the other with blonde hair, fair skin, blue eyes. My grandchildren from my blue-eyed child have brown hair and brown eyes. My grandchild from my brown-eyed child and brown eyed spouse has blond hair and blue eyes!

This is straight not okay. I’d be offended and would probably be out of that relationship as this is only the beginning of bullshit you’ll have to deal with

I am native american, I have dark hair, tanned skin, and very dark eyes, while my husband is fair, dark blonde hair, and blue/green eyes. Our children are both fair, blonde hair, and very blue eyed. I would just say genetics can do some crazy things, don’t count me out. Let it roll off of you, it was rude but it doesn’t matter. What she said was very ignorant.

This is offensive and he should get it! Also it’s odd that his mom automatically thought about him having children with you. Which means he probably told her that he really likes you and sees more in the future or she sees that it’s more! But I digress, it’s still messed up and you should keep your eyes and ears open for anything else. Sometimes people just don’t know. I’m dating someone that is a a different race now and they said something I’m uncomfortable with while talking to me bc they thought it was ok bc their past partners told them it was ok. I had to talk to them about how I felt with them saying that and they promised to NEVER say it again. Sometimes you have to explain to people why you feel the way you feel. Ask him how he would feel if your family said something about him being “White with blond hair and blue eyes” and that there goes their hope of having a tan little Latino baby? It’s offensive!

I think you’re over thinking it. I’m blonde hair blue eyes and when I picture my grandkids (especially a grand daughter) I always think of them looking like me or how my daughters looked when they were little. But let me tell you, if my grand babies ended up looking Hispanic or black or Asian it wouldn’t matter to me, they’d still be my grand babies. I’m sure she would love them no matter what.

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I see a lot of people saying she didn’t mean anything by it, but that’s extremely rude and I don’t think she’s as naive as people are trying to make it seem. She knew exactly what she was saying. As if having blonde hair and blue eyes is more beautiful or superior to brown skin, eyes and hair. Dark features are beautiful so please so let it make you insecure. And if they can’t even empathize with you then that shows how they DO NOT take other people feelings into consideration. And you know why? Because all they’re lives they have been praised for their blue eyes and blonde hair as if they won some prize. So she’s basically saying she’s disappointed if her grandchildren end up being little brown babies like you. I would think long and hard if that’s they kind of family you want to be around or marry into.

Sounds like my gma.she liked all blonde blue eyed babies.i had a son who is half mexican hes white as hell like me with brown eyes an that bothers them hes mexican .i went back home to hawaii to visit them an all my gma did was glare at him an make snarky comments.

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Try seeing the positive in the conversation instead of negative. She obviously likes you enough to envision you and her son having her grandchildren. I don’t think it’s weird to want your kids/grandkids to look like you either. Doesn’t mean she will love them any different if they have brown vs blonde hair. If she’s nice and doesn’t make backhanded comments to you I really wouldn’t look too much into that comment.

If you didn’t hear it from the horses mouth don’t pass judgment by what the jackass says. Sometimes it’s not what is said but how it’s said. He made it sound that she was disappointed in your picture. So that’s on him for making you feel that way. Wait and see how she treats you…if she really is that judgmental…. run!!!

Well I’m Italian and my son has blonde hair and blue eyes genetics are weird man

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I think you may be overthinking it. I mean, yeah, she probably shouldn’t have made the comment, but the fact that she did make the comment about you two having babies, I would consider as positive. Besides, there is no guarantee of what your kids would look like. There’s probability, but that isn’t 100%. Y’all could end up with a child that has a dark complexion, dark hair and bright blue eyes. You could have a child that favors one of you or a little of both of you. I went to high school with a boy who’s parents were both African American and he was extremely light skinned with light hair and blue-green eyes. So, I wouldn’t think to much on the comment. If you’re happy with him, just enjoy being happy.

Your kids could still get the blue eyes happens a lot especially if blue eyes are dominant in his family. Don’t let it get to you even though it’s offensive. At least she thinks highly enough of you to think you might have her grandkids.

Tell her to adopt one then.

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I have dark brown and husband has greenish brown eyes and my oldest has bright crystal blue eyes and my you get has grey blue eyes (they change colors alot green brown and grey/blue)

You think she’s going to treat your future kids well. No. And that Man’s not going against his Mom.