My boyfriend of 10 months will leave and sometimes not come back all night or be gone for days. He’s always saying he’s working on our other house but when I go there barley any progress is made or he’s just there hanging out with his buddies, drinking. Sometimes I can’t get ahold of him at all. Sometimes he says he just wants to go out and have fun. I’m 8 months pregnant and have two kids already. When we got together I was straight up with him on what I will and will NOT tolerate. Our relationship was amazing at first and now it’s come down to me being home all day and night alone, with no calls or texts. And I’m quite sick of being alone. When he does come home, he gets up early and just leaves without telling me what he’s doing or how long he’s going to be gone, he refuses to fix my vehicle and tells me I need to let him have fun because that just ‘who he is.’ But an invite would be nice every once in a while. I’m talked to him about this calmly and also not so calmly, neither has worked. It’s getting old and exhausting. Especially after I sold my house and moved in the middle of no where in his house. I want to pack my kids and their things and leave so badly but once I think about it, I don’t want to over react. At this point I think I have a right to be mad. Because I don’t want it to be like this when the new baby comes. I don’t have time to worry about where he’s at or what he’s doing because I have kids to take care of.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting or do I seriously have a reason for being mad?
I read only half of the post LEAVE
Girl take care of your kids and quit letting him play you…… #leave #getout
Get out. It’s only going to get worse once the baby comes. Happened to me too.
Sounds like you got yourself a narcissist…
He’s most definitely cheating you need to pack your bags and go!!!
LEAVE… because it’ll only make you feel worse if you stay and he’s not around for the child period.
I had almost the same experience and it took a very long time for it to stop. I would save yourself the heartache and let it end now.
He’s not going to change. If you’ve been asking for that long and he’s still behaving as though he’s single, it’s time to leave. You deserve to be with someone who wants to spend time with you and wants to communicate with you. He’s not capable of being a partner or father at this point based on his behavior. There is a saying I think applies to this " when someone shows you who they are, believe them". He’s shown you who he is.
Get out now if you can ! Take your children and your money he’s still a party boy ….sorry
I’d hit the bricks! You deserve better!
The fact that you even ask this question, or feel like it has to be asked, should tell you all you need to know. Get out while you’re ahead.
It’s easier to pack up two kids than 3.
Girl, sorry to say this but it sounds like he’s got a side chick
Pack and leave!!! He wants to have his cake and eat it too!!! He sounds like a moron!!
You are not overreacting get away. You deserve better and your kids do too.
Over reacting? Absolutely not. He needs a come to Jesus conversation on growing up and realizing in a month he will have a small baby at home. At this moment in time, if you don’t have a back up plan I personally would sit him down and have a real conversation about how what he does makes you feel. Packing up 8 months pregnant with 2 other children and leaving with no plan is not wise. Remember men can be dumb. They don’t take hints, you have to be bluntly honest with him in an adult manner. Best of luck momma
Trust your gut. He’s up to no good.
Your first instinct is to leave, so you already know what needs to be done.
Leave itll only get worse
Doesn’t sound like a family man to me. IMO, he’s telling you who he is and he will not change, so you need to let him go.
Pack up and leave. He’ll never change. I’m stuck in the same situation
I’m sorry but why would you even be questioning? Quit tolerating it and from what you are describing I doubt it will get better.
Cheating or not… if my man didn’t come home at night or for DAYS without telling me what’s going on it wouldn’t matter what he’s doing, it’s a respect issue and I would not tolerate it.
Always go with your gut
He won’t change and will only get worse when the baby arrives. Get out now. He’s clearly only worried about himself and his wants. You deserve better. You already know the answer or you wouldn’t be asking.
Run like the wind. If he’s supposedly working on the house but it’s never done than that’s not actually what he’s doing. Agree he is probably seeing someone.
Speaking from a suuuuper similar situation, he has shown you who he really is. Chances are, things wont get any better after baby comes. It will likely become worse because you will feel even more alone while being sleep deprived and taking care of all the kids alone. I wish i would have left before my baby was born. It would have been much easier.
He’s your boyfriend … you don’t owe him anything. Pack up and leave because it’s only going to get worse.
Pack and leave. You’re being neglected and abused emotionally. Sometimes verbal abuse isn’t too far from physical. Over all though, you deserve better and your children deserve to see you being treated the right way and for you to teach them correctly how to be treated.
Maybe it’s a fright he needs
I would leave when he gone to work say nothing play him at his own game don’t answer phone etc
Then you’ll see what he don’t have he will miss
And if that don’t work he not worth pissing on if he in fire girl mind yourself and I hope whatever happens you and your kids will be happy
I do not think you are over reacting at all. You do what you think best. But I would kick him to the curb!
Go with ur gut…get out now before u regret sticking thru anything else w him.
Just leave. My gut feeling tells me that ain’t right. Lol
Leave and never look back! If that’s him mentality, he will never change. And once you add another baby in the mix your just going to get more and more resentful
P L E A S E! P L E A S E!!
walk away, leave, run an do not look back!! For the sake of you an your kids who need their mama happy an HEALTHY! I am not even kidding. Please!! I do not know you, just women to women. You know in your heart an gut (a womens instinct) this NEEDS to end. He has chose EXACTLY what he wants an it is not you or the kids. He made up his mind soon as he left the 1st time because he knew he could keep getting away with this! It may be hard at first but it will be well worth it in the long run hun. Stay STRONG♡
It’s Time you told him to move along . He’s not amusing himself he’s cheating
He would change for you if he wanted you…
He sounds like a bitch. Leave him now.
So disrespectful and not caring g of your feelings at all. The love and his heart are not in it the right way. I’m so sorry for the way you must feel. Stay strong you deserve better. Especially when he doesn’t even care to text or call. Not cool at all.
He’s cheating pack your stuff and leave
GRANT HIS WISH GIRLLLLLL… Let him go have his fun … You and your children come first…KNOW YOUR WORTH…
Girl he’s treating you like a doormat. Kick his ass to the curb.
Run and do not look back!
My opinion, he’s cheating. 100%
I was on a relationship like that. As it turned out he was leading a triple life. Three girlfriends. I am not saying this is your case. I would leave qnd not look back. You.deserve to be treated better.
Girl! No one got into a relationship to be alone if his job required him to actually leave like that (military, oil rigs, things of that nature) I could understand. If he can’t be at home helping raise the family he signed up for then tell him bye
In my honest opinion. I would walk away from the situation.
You could sit him down and tell him how you feel (which from the post I can assume you already have) and tell him that if it doesn’t change, you are walking away from the relationship. Whether he is cheating or not, he is being extremely disrespectful to you.
While partners and spouses should not be expected to “ask permission” to go or do something, there is an unspoken respect line in which the person should discuss or at the very least inform their partner or spouse of what their plans are.
My boyfriend and I have been together for several years now, and together we have 7 children. I would never expect him to ask my permission to do anything, nor does he expect me to ask his permission. However, we always inform the other of what our plans are. If I am going out with my girlfriends to get away from the house and kids for a few hours, I let him know a few days in advance what my plans are and let him know where I am going to be. And vice versa. This is for a few different reasons. First, it’s so he knows that I have made plans with my friends so he knows that I will not be home with the kids. If he has plans for the same day, we can then work out child care. Second, if something were to happen to me and I don’t come home near or around the time I told him I would, he has a general idea of where I am and who I am with I the event I have encountered and emergency situation. And vise versa, if some kind of emergency were to come up at home, he knows where I am and who I am with in the event he can’t reach me on my phone.
He goes on week long fishing trips a few times a year, and he always let’s me know in advance on when he is leaving, where he is going and who all is going with him just in case I can’t get a hold of him… or if there is an emergency and someone he is with needs to contact me, I know to answer my phone if they call me.
It’s really all about respecting the other person enough to include them in your life.
Why are you tolerating what you said you wouldn’t?
I think in your heart you already know what the best thing to do for yourself and your kids is. I wouldn’t put up with that. That’s childish and just isn’t how healthy relationships are. Sending hugs to you. I hope things get better for you.
Your showing him now that you WILL tolerate his BS. Pregnant or not he is not worth it. Stand your ground and do what is best for you and your children. Don’t be a door mat.
Men don’t change…for just anyone…the fact you have made your feelings know to him and he still doesn’t respect them nor has show any attempt to change tells you what you are in store for if you chose to continue down this road…
Girl you GOT every reason to be mad! He is a man point blank period!
Bby leave he’s def cheating seems like u deserve more
He’s telling you who he is, believe him.
You’re not over reacting I would leave!
You already know the answer
Let him go… you’d be better off if you feel alone might as well be alone plus the stress isn’t good on you or your pregnancy
U said u told him what you wont tolerate, and yet look what you are letting him get away with. Leave his ass.
If he isn’t cheating then he obviously doesnt want to be there for you and thr kids/baby. My bf was eith me every day of my pregnancy and pampered my every need. You deserve better
Girl it sounds like he has a whole ass other family or women. Leave. That’s absolutely not okay and no woman should put up with that. Period.
I think he needs to grow the f*** up and be a real man, partner and father
It will never change… if it’s not what you want to deal with forever, then get out now and don’t waste your time… you can’t change who he is…
He’s only been your boyfriend for 10 months and he’s acting like this pack up your kids and go.
You told him what you will and will not tolerate … so are you tolerating it?
Are you dating my ex… Same, I was pregnant also. Only thing is, he was out being a dirty dog even when with his friends… they’d cover for him. Thankfully he got deported
Sounds like to me he’s not ready to take on the responsibility of being a father nor a partner to the woman he’s suppose to love. U need a MAN!!! Pack your shit and get out now before the babies born or u wont never leave. Personally he’s probably cheating especially if he don’t come home to you.
Take your kids and leave I never would’ve sold my house to move into his I would’ve had him move into mine! Don’t tolerate that shit it’s about your kids now think about what you want your kids to see and grow up with!
He has another women, pack your things n leave bet it’ll be awhile before he notices… Life is to short, heaven forbid you die in a week is this really how you want to live out what little time you have left on earth? Babies don’t make men change… Good luck
Say bye bye ASAP. Sounds like he won’t be of much help when baby is here either , so how much are you really losing besides a part time lover if even that.
You are NOT over reacting. If he doesn’t want to spend any time with you & your kids at home I’d leave his ass. He is very clearly showing you what is more important to him. I wouldn’t jump to cheating right off the bat but I definitely think he is out with his friends all the time making excuses. You deserve way more than this…
you have a boyfriend. He’s single
if you can live with that, live with it. Otherwise, do something about it.
leave the situation. it’s hard, but so worth it in the long run.
If you was his priority then there wouldn’t be any issues right now. He’s not concerned with you or your needs. You sold your house? Then I’d be figuring out where my money was and get out. Make him pay child support and move on. Maybe try watching the movie fireproof and see if there’s anything you’re doing to push him away. Just pray and love him harder. If that keeps him away still. Then you already know your answer. Move on.
Sounds like you are already tolerating what you told him you wouldn’t tolerate. He doesn’t care
That is beyond disrespectful. He does not care about you.
U need to leave if u stay its not going to fix things or b better staying with someone just bc ur pregnant doesn’t always work like we want it to
Girl, take your kiddos and RUN…ain’t no mama got time for those games. Hugs
Seems like he just wants to do what he wants without any regard for you or your feelings. I would leave because if I’m gonna be lonely in a relationship, might as well be lonely all by myself. You have kids and you want them to have someone they can look up to, this is not behavior of someone that can be looked up to. I understand you love him, but if you have already talked to him and nothing has changed it is time to make the change happen by leaving.
Girl what😒 How the hell can you tolerate that shit. Him leaving for days and not saying ?!?! And you’re pregnant!
So he’s been your boyfriend for 10 months and you are 8 months pregnant. Sounds like you didn’t have a lot of time to get to know him before you got pregnant. I don’t think he sounds like he’s cheating or anything but he sounds rather childish to me. Like he had a party life before you and the kids came along and he doesn’t wanna change that. Good luck
You told him you DONT tolerate certain behavior, and based on your post you have allowed this intolerable behavior. Is that correct?
Well that’s why he doesn’t care because you said you won’t and you have so why should he take what you say seriously?
Take your kids n run
Leave!!! Not contributing to the relationship big sign!!!
I don’t think you’re overreacting one bit do it get the heck out of there
Pack your kids and stuff up and leave. Whether he is cheating or not, you deserve alot better than this boy you are with. He has no respect for you and things will only get worse.
I hope your house money is in a different account and he’s not out partying with it🤦♀️
U are putting up with it though u have had enough do something about it
Leave him. He sounds like a turd- and it’s not going to get better.
no way would I tolerate being home all day with the kids & pregnant while he’s living the happy single life. nopeeee! if I’m gonna conduct business as if I am single, I might as well be single and not have to care for a grown as* boy in the mix.
this behavior wouldn’t have lasted longer than 2 months with me… don’t allow it.
Pack up n go. Something isn’t right.
Why are you still there? It’s basic respect and he doesn’t have any for you.
Don’t just walk girl…run!!! Your kids don’t need to see their mom being treated like this and your new baby doesn’t need to feel all that stress daily. You got this! He’s a mess!
Not over reacting at all! Take your kids and leave. For all you know, he could be a serial killer!! Something ain’t right.
Cheating or not there is zero respect for you. Pack ur kids and go, nothing is going to change and he has already seen that you will tolerate it from him bc you are tolerating it by staying in the relationship
How old is he? Sounds like he needs to grow up. But, he has shown who he is and how things are going to be if you stay with him. It doesn’t sound like this is how you want to live, so imo you should end this relationship. I understand it won’t be easy, but neither will living with him. You can do it now or do it later. I’m very sorry.
Sounds like you’re STILL making irresponsible choices as a SINGLE MOTHER now with ANOTHER POSSIBLE baby daddy and your kids are seeing this as " NORMAL"… …get into some therapy for YOURSELF figure out YOUR patterns, BEHAVIORs that are NOT giving YOU the results YOU truly desire and deserve for you and your children… Common denominator HERE is YOU MOMMA… …God Bless you and your children
Pack up I hope you have your $ left from the sale of your house goodluck
Baby, re-read this and look at it as someone else. Then decide for yourself. You already know the answer.