My boyfriend of 10 months will leave and sometimes not come back all night or be gone for days. He’s always saying he’s working on our other house but when I go there barley any progress is made or he’s just there hanging out with his buddies, drinking. Sometimes I can’t get ahold of him at all. Sometimes he says he just wants to go out and have fun. I’m 8 months pregnant and have two kids already. When we got together I was straight up with him on what I will and will NOT tolerate. Our relationship was amazing at first and now it’s come down to me being home all day and night alone, with no calls or texts. And I’m quite sick of being alone. When he does come home, he gets up early and just leaves without telling me what he’s doing or how long he’s going to be gone, he refuses to fix my vehicle and tells me I need to let him have fun because that just ‘who he is.’ But an invite would be nice every once in a while. I’m talked to him about this calmly and also not so calmly, neither has worked. It’s getting old and exhausting. Especially after I sold my house and moved in the middle of no where in his house. I want to pack my kids and their things and leave so badly but once I think about it, I don’t want to over react. At this point I think I have a right to be mad. Because I don’t want it to be like this when the new baby comes. I don’t have time to worry about where he’s at or what he’s doing because I have kids to take care of.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting or do I seriously have a reason for being mad?
Pack your $HIT AND GIT WHILE THE GITTEN IS GOOD!!!
So it still comes down to what you will or will not tolerate. You are tolerating this so he keeps doing this.
Going off what your saying, he’s checked out of the relationship already.
He has no concern for you & his unborn child.
I hate to say it, but
It’s time for you to move on too!
It seems you know the answer already and just need validation.
You said you made quite clear what you tolerate and what you will not tolerate. Why don’t you follow through?
You know quite well that this is not working. You have to decide how long you are willing to put up with it.
Julie Leachman and she sold her HOUSE 
to move in the middle of nowhere with him. On top of all this he won’t fix her car. Why? Because that way she won’t go and look for his shady ass
You’re not overreacting. Your assessment and feelings are valid.
But whatever you decide, i would caution for you not to flip flop and get back to where you are now. If this is his baby, I have observed that some men will show well in good faith, and some women reverse our decisions we once made.
I would suggest you make the best decision possible and don’t look back.
That’s a BOY BYE situation! He’s obviously not going to change and doesn’t care what you think. Sorry you have to put up with that. Pack those babies up and go somewhere that will make you happy!
If this were a close friend that this was happening to; what would you tell her to do? I imagine it would be, leave now! Treat yourself as well as you would want your best friend treated!
Pack your stuff and start over. If he wants in that life he will come and change his life. Your kids need you to be a strong proud woman who doesn’t accept half effort from any man.
He sounds emotionally immature and definitely not ready to be a partner or father. That said, if he’s only bringing sperm to the table, you should pack your sh*t and move out and begin your next chapter without him.
Sounds as though it’s just you and your kids so officially make it “just you and your kids”
So many red flags here if my man didn’t call or text me I would be livid!
Pack up and leave.
Call a garage and they will send a tow truck to bring it to the shop to repair it.
Make sure you see a lawyer to start the paperwork on custody, child support and visitation.
You have only known this boy for 10 months and you sold your home to be with him, introduced your two kids to him and are 8 months pregnant with another baby?
Before you start your next relationship, see a therapist and get birth control.
I agree, you were upfront from the beginning. Then along the way he got away with it. You brought it up to hopefully course correct, but nothing changed. You stayed, which told him it was ok. This is how we end up being the nagging hags they call us. We tell them and tell them, they keep doing it and we stay, so we are just nagging. He is not mentally ready to be anything but himself. You will have to stay strong, bc if you decide to leave he may try to “change” so that you stay and things will be ok for a bit, but he will go right back to it. By then you will be stuck! I watched it happen to my mom. Let it happen to myself once. Look at your kids & look in the mirror, you all deserve real happiness! Good luck and God bless!
Take some of he’s belongings and sell them to fix the car that’s crazy pregnant no car and no man. He’s going to use you for as long as he can. Let me tell you about a neighbor I had, her boyfriend convinced her that living in Mexico would be alot better for them she was unsure because she had never been to Mexico but he was born there. So she went along with it every penny the could spare was put into building s house then multiple trips back and forth furnishing the house. When he was supposed to come back for her and her daughter he never came no phone calls nothing so she went to look for him ,on the day she arrived at her new home he was getting married to another woman
If you feel your man can’t change choose a different path for you and your children.
Sweetheart, you already know what you need to do… It’s time to move on. People are capable of growth and change, but you can’t force it and he isn’t ready. You say you told him what you will and will not tolerate, but you’re not backing that up. By staying, you’re showing him he can get away with this behavior and you’ll just put up with it. Take it from someone who wasted too many years on waiting, life is TOO SHORT. If you stay, knowing he won’t change, then you deserve what you get. I promise I am NOT trying to be mean or callous, but it’s the truth. Leave, now.
You’re NOT over reacting…GET OUT NOW!!! He’s shady and its gonna be NOTHING BUT BAD!
I couldn’t even finish reading this. When I saw he would stay gone for days and you had only been together 10 months - you have nothing to lose. Leave him!
Um you’ve been together 10 months but you’re heavily pregnant. You don’t know someone and you get pregnant and seek your horse as soon as you meet them. Not very smart. Also not to good for your other children. I hope you’ve got a back up plan.
Sounds Ike he is busy with someone else not what he claims
One word girl…LEAVE! I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I would leave before you find out something you don’t want to. You don’t have the time or capability for all this stress being pregnant, it’s not right!
Its already just you and your kids, so why have the stress of his BS when you could just leave and be happy with the kids and not have that stress? And you didn’t really have to change anything to make it happen? Go live your best life girl!
Dump his ass! You’d be better off alone. Sue him for child support. This is not good for you and not the role model you want for your kids.
Pack your stuff and leave. He is irresponsible, he doesnt respect you and as hard as it may seem to do, you will find peace. Its not worth the worries. Hope all works out for you and safe delivery to baby and mom
Are you prepared to do this for years.? His not gonna change. Get out now!
Momma you already know. Get out now! He is not going to change and once the babies here it will just be worse because you’ll be struggling with post-partum hormones. He is showing you who he really is.
Leave let him wonder where you went! Switch the rolls! Tell him every time he makes you wonder where he is then he will have to put up wondering where you are. Right now he doesn’t have to worry where you are bc he knows your at home! Get your car fixed next time he leaves you do the same. I bet your phone will be blowing up. When he asks say oh I thought this is how you wanted it to be.
Pack your shit and move out!!! Screw that bs. Sounds like he is either A.)cheating B.)not done with the party life or C.) all of the above!!! You don’t need all of that negativity and stress in your life.
Just pack up and go… Don’t text him or call him. If he texts or calls you just ignore it.
Sorry but to me sounds like he is not ready for a relationship or a baby for that matter… and sounds like he also may be cheating.
Time to go and not put your children through that.
Best of luck!!!
Idk what else to say other than I would leave him as soon as possible.
You definitely have a good reason to be mad! Sounds like he needs to grow up! I will keep you and your kids in my prayers 
I actually don’t think you are in a relationship with anyone besides yourself and your kiddos. He is out.
Yes totally agreed with mostly everyone on here trust me being it’s only been 10 months take that chance now and GO!!! Don’t do like some women thinking hell change and stay waiting for that day cuz he will not and before u know it it’s been 10 to 15 years later and he’s still the same person!!! So yes definitely go now!!!
get out and run, something isn,t right and he isn,t being striaght forward with u, u deserve better, run is all im going to say, it,s doesn,t get better it gets worse,… if he really and truly loves u he would stay at home with u, and not he,s buddies, i went thru the same shit, along time agao, he,s buddies where more important than i was,
It’ll always be like that!! My husband of 35 years did this all the time, and still does!! I raised my 3 kids by myself, he always came home drunk, go to sleep, get up go to work and do it all over again!! Save yourself the heartache of him doing this for the rest of you and your kids lives!! Run now!!
LEAVE!!! He’s giving you all the answers. Stop making excuses for him, he is NOT going to change when the baby comes if that’s what you think it’s going to happen. You don’t need to be worried where his at! Run girl run!!!
I sincerely hope you are secure financially. Consult a lawyer. Be prepared. This man is not a good partner or provider for his family. You need to secure things for you and your kids. Don’t leave the house. If you are in texas you May have rights to it. See a lawyer ASAP
Obviously he got what he wanted and doesn’t want any responsibility for you or your kids or a new baby. Boys just want to have fun. Get out as soon. Ad you can. He doesn’t want to have you around. Duh
10 months you’ve been in this relationship and it’s already sounding like he has checked out of it! Are you serious in thinking this is healthy? Sounds like you are bringing a child into a mess. Maybe you should slow down a little since it sounds like you barely knew him before getting pregnant. 
Naaw lovey pack up and leave unfortunately he’s told you this is who he is…He doesn’t sound like he’s going to grow up for awhile yet. It’s not fair on the kids too. If mummy unhappy everyone unhappy…
He’s cheating trust me I’m glad I have a good man I remember these days I didn’t find out all the horrible truths about my ex until after he passed
You are NOT overreacting! However, do you think he would become angry or violent if you tried to leave him? He sounds narcissistic to me. You’re living ‘in the middle of nowhere’, he refuses to fix your car and leaves you alone in his somewhat controlled environment while he goes off and plays. Does he have access to your bank account? Open another one. Pack up your kids and all the necessities and call a taxi if your car doesn’t work or ask family/friends for a lift. I wouldn’t even be telling him you’re leaving! Maybe leave a note somewhere saying "he needs to let you have a life, it’s who you are! 
"
He wants his cake and eat it to so time for you to leave otherwise your children will follow in his footstep and think its ok to treat people like that.
I would say it’s time to move on. You deserve better treatment. It won’t be easy but it will be for the best later down the road.
Your 1st mistake was selling your house I would not tolerate it.
You are not overreacting. Get out now. He sounds like he’s expecting you to be okay with whatever. That’s no way to live
This fellow is immature and irresponsible. He is showing you who he is and he is not the least bit worried about your relationship’s well being at all. He wants to have fun without you! These are major RED FLAGS! Get yourself out of that situation. There are much better relationships to be had. Good luck!
Cant get to no someone in 10mos. Let alone be 8mos pregnant, He is not dialed in. AT ALL…
This just happened to me. He was cheating with a few women from what I’ve figured out…I have moved out.
Sounds like things got too serious too soon. Some guys don’t know how to take that. They start doing stupid isht and being irresponsible because they may not be ready to move on. That is his issue not yours, do not take it personal, just do what you have to do for you and your babies.
You can wait to see if things get better or you can use the next month to move you and your kids, and getting prepared to have your baby.
Whatever you decide find a good support system. Let your trusted family and your friends know that you are going to need help (if you decide to move) and help when you have the baby and taking care of the kids after.
Plan to do things as if you are going to do them as a single mom. Don’t trust that he will come around to it, prepare yourself for the worst so that you and your babies have everything you need when your due date comes along. If he does end up coming around he will just add to your support system which is always a good thing.
Sounds like a cheating POS… throw his cloths out ,change the locks on the door…or better yet follow him…then dump his cloths in their yard set fire to them… dont take no BS…show him u still in co trolls of u…no man worth this much stress and wonder…and sounds like a user…
Pack your bags and leave for a better life with your kiddos. He don’t give two F@*%S about you your kids or his baby you’re carrying!!!
Doesn’t sound like a good man to keep around. You only been together for 10 months, definitely shouldn’t be asking these questions already
You are in the wrong relationship, he isn’t going to be what you want or thought it would be. But I could be wrong
You can’t set boundaries and then keep moving them. You told him what you wouldn’t tolerate so don’t tolerate it.
Better men are out there. You can find one. But also make sure that you analyze yourself too. I am not saying to stay…but make sure that you identify your strengths and weaknesses in the relationship as well. Once you know yourself…you can make the right decision on whether to stay or go
If you don’t have time to worry about where he is or what he’s doing then why bother tolerating his behavior now? His behavior could get worse after the baby is born, I mean it’s bad now so I can’t imagine he’ll magically do a complete 360 when a next huge responsibility comes into the picture you know? …focus on the kids and yourself, at the end of the day they are who matter the most…sorry it didn’t work out mama but now it’s crunch time.
Sounds like he is selfish and hasn’t grown up yet . I’d move on
You have a right to be mad as he is not respecting you. He will not change unless he wants to change.
Please look at the red flags! He does not seem committed to you or the children, actually he is acting childish. You need to decide how you want to live and make it happen. Good luck to you.
You must get counseling. If he won’t go, go for yourself and your babies. Don’t ignore these red flags 
.
You take care of you and what is best for your babies apparently your the only one that is going to !!!
If you already made it clear what you will and won’t tolerate and he still does it, then he won’t be changing anytime soon, And he knows when the baby comes you will always be home, so off he goes, he’s not what he’s telling you he is.
Dam why I can’t I find a woman that damn dumb. Or willing to tolerate a bunch of bullshit and lies. All I got to say to ya girl if you don’t say or do something about it just gonna get worse.
8 months preg after knowing him 10 months? Lord.
You are alone. He has emotionally left you and now physically left you. You need to leave now with your babies and start a new life - taking care of yourself and your three little ones.
He showing you all the red flags now. Leave before the baby comes.
Hunny move on while u can. Trust n believe u are NOT over reacting.
Leave now… or get the social worker while in the hospital and do not go back it will get worse
You already know the answer honey. You are not overreacting.
When you say you were “straight up with him about what you will or won’t tolerate”, did that include being a doormat?
Well I think you know he cheating follow him and see but don’t use your own car ask a friend to take you one that he don’t know the car
Leave now. He has not made you a priority in his life. Go and take care of yourself and your little ones.
Something’s odd especially if he’s always wanting to be gone doesn’t tell you when he leaves and the part that really bothers me personally is he won’t fix or have your car fixed…
You are already tolerating more than you said you would. He’s gonna continue to be a screwup so put him to the curb.
Leave. Take your babies and go! The manchild will never grow up!
RUN… what did you do wit the money from selling your house…
Pack his things and send him on his way
Why are you still there?
You should already know what your next move is. Move On!
Pack your stuff and go! Do what’s best for you & your kiddos
Waaaay to sneaky!!! I’m shocked you put up with that.
I hope you didn’t give him the money from your house for his fix r upper
First of all I wouldn’t have sold my house 
second his cheating on you
Definitely not overreacting trust your gut!
If u have that feeling in yo stomach get out he’s cheating. Been there
You are strong- be gone!
I would have someone fuller him to see what he doing
People treat you the way You let them Get out now while you can
I’m a man and I say get the hell out. That’s total bullshit…
Girl he ain ready he’s doing him n don’t let him trap u down.! Get on!! Be happy w o him
He’s totally up to no good.
The joys of not knowing someone well enough to even be living together after 10 months:woman_facepalming:
Pay attention to behavior, should tell you everything you need to know
Pack his stuff up & set it outside.
If it’s like this now with your other children, it’s not going to change when a new baby comes along. You need to gather your things and move back home. You have explained your feelings and yet nothing has changed. Put yourself and your children first.
10 months together, 8 months pregnant. He may feel trapped.
It’s time to go! If you can!